Sacrifice of the Soul

Title: Sacrifice of the Soul

Author: Aeryn Sun

Feedback: Sure, be nice though. Flames are for bbq-ing, not criticism. If you can't say something nice, choke and die. <j/k>

Archiving: You want this piece of crap? Well, ask first, I'll say yes, I just want to know where it goes. I like to visit and bring candy. Lots of chocolatey goodness.

Rating: R, I guess. Although, there isn't any graphic violence or language beyond a normal episode so, whatever. TV-M maybe?

Spoilers: Everything up to and including The Gift. If any of this story contains spoilers for Season 6, which I seriously doubt it does, I apologize.

Summary: My take on a resolution to `The Gift' and a prequel of sorts to the Chemistry trilogy. Yes, it's presently becoming a trilogy with Tara's POV next. I'll finish and post that soon, promise.

Author's notes: I knew after writing the Chemistry trilogy (there's that word again) that I was going to have to go back and write my version of how they got Buffy back. This is my humble attempt. My muse has switched from drinking Cherry Mountain Dew to Peppermint Patties with cherry Pepsi, in case anyone was wondering. And I still don't have a spell checker.

Warning/Disclaimer: If the idea of a relationship between two women that goes deeper than friendship is offensive or bothers you, man, are you lost! The Prude Power mailing list is over there:::points to the far right:::: Leave now or forever be sucked into the Alt universe. I wasn't fast enough and look at me now (not that I'm complaining ;)) Characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. Goddess bless them. And ListMom and Dad too.

>>>>Excerpt from the diary of Willow Rosenberg:

It's been a little over two weeks since we buried her, the woman who was unknowingly the center of my universe. It was undoubtedly the hardest thing I have ever had to do, give her body over for proper burial. I didn't want to let go she looked so innocent and peaceful lying there. There wasn't a mark on her, anyone that didn't know what had just occurred would have simply thought she was sleeping. But she wasn't and I knew it. The lifeforce, the spark that made her who she was was gone. Goddess, I feel like I died right along with her. I wish I had.

It was decided, after the initial shock wore off that we had to let Angel know that Buffy was dead. It wouldn't be right to tell him over the phone so I volunteered to go to L.A. and tell him. The others think it was because I cared for Angel and wanted to be there for him, but it wasn't. Don't get me wrong, I like Angel now that he has a soul again but that's not the reason I went. I went because I couldn't bear to stay in town or deal with my friend's concern over me. I don't want their pity. Sunnydale was where I met Buffy, hung out with her, and went to school with her, got mocas with her. Everything around me was a big blaring reminder of what I had lost. Lost because I let my fear run my life. If I had just been honest with her like I always was about everything else in my life, well, maybe she would have been upset but at least she would have known. And I wouldn't have this unbearable weight of regret and sorrow pulling my soul down into darkness.

I love her, more than anyone, even me, realized. Yes, she was my best friend but I realized a while ago that I was in love with Buffy and not Tara. I've only stayed with Tara because I know Buffy doesn't (didn't) return my feelings. Tara is safe and I don't have to be alone if I'm with her. I didn't want to hurt either of them with the truth so I kept it to myself and now it's too late. Too late to tell her, too late to explain, and too late to apologize. I made a mess of things and I hate myself for it.

Goddess, how can this hurt so much? I feel like I've swallowed razor blades and they're ripping me apart from the inside out. My blood has turned to acid and my heart feels like someone reached into my chest and tore it from me with their bare hands before they staked it. I don't care how gruesome a visual it is it pales in comparison to the true feeling. I'm dying inside, I can feel it. All the energy and light I usually feel is dimming a little with every passing moment without her. My Buffy. And I don't know what to do. And quite frankly, I don't care if my heart stops. At least this pain would stop too.

>>>End Excerpt

Willow slammed her laptop shut in with uncharacteristic violence and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. She had hoped that writing down how she felt would somehow ease the ache that had settled in her chest but it hadn't. If anything it had made her feel worse. She closed her eyes, wishing for a moment of peace. Unfortunately all she could see when she closed her eyes was Buffy. Buffy smiling, Buffy laughing, crying, talking. Buffy lying there dead. Her eyes snapped back open but the images remained. With a cry born of rage and grief, she stood up, grabbed a nearby picture frame and hurled it across the room where it impacted with the wall and shattered into pieces.

Willow stood there wryly admiring her handwork. There was glass all over the floor but the picture was untouched. `Not bad for someone who supposedly never gets angry, right?' she said to herself. She walked over the glass shards and retrieved the photo from the damaged frame. It was a picture of her, Xander, and Buffy taken the day they graduated before the Mayor's ill-fated Ascension ceremony. Oz had taken it that afternoon when they tried on their gowns, as a reminder of what it was like to be normal teenagers, he'd said. Given that they were probably about to die in an extremely bizarre way, they'd welcomed the chance to preserve the moment. She was so wrapped up in the memory of a happier time (which would probably be a pathetic thought in itself, if she actually stopped to think about it) that she payed no attention to the opening of the door when Tara came to check on her.

Tara had heard the crash from down the hall and was worried about her. The entire gang was staying at Buffy's house now, to keep an eye on Dawn and, Tara suspected, to try and hold on to a piece of Buffy as long as they could. Giles was Dawn's legal guardian now, thanks to clauses in both Joyce's and then Buffy's wills. Tara thought it was especially sad that a woman as young and vibrant as Buffy was would have had to write a will. `No one should have to write a will at 20 years old,' Tara sighed to herself. `No one as young as Buffy should have to die either.' Tara had genuinely liked Buffy, even if she had found her intimidating. But how could she not like one of Willow's friends? She loved everything about Willow and that included her friends, besides, they had accepted her (somewhat) and forgiven her (again somewhat) for deceiving them when she thought she was going to turn into a demon. Tara walked closer to Willow and put her hand on her shoulder to get her attention. She didn't miss the flinch that rippled through Willow's muscles at the contact. It tore at Tara's soul to see Willow in such pain.

"Are you all right, Willow?" she asked softly, knowing it was a stupid question but feeling the need to say something and not knowing what. Willow turned around to face her and Tara winced at the look in the other girls' eyes. Willow's eyes had always been bright and full of life. Now those same green spheres were dull and lifeless, showing no sign of the intelligence or spark that used to reside there. And it was steadily growing worse as the days passed. The dark circles under Willow's eyes only served to enhance the haunted and dead look her entire being was beginning to project. Tara knew Willow hadn't had a good nights sleep since Buffy's death but there was precious little anyone could seem to do about it. Tara had even gone so far as to (with Giles' agreement) try and cast a spell on Willow to get her to sleep, for a few hours at least, without the nightmares that were plaguing the girl. But Willow had felt what she was trying to do and countered the spell with one of her own. She'd also given Tara and Giles a very good and thorough verbal spanking. Tara had never seen Willow so angry before, or look so betrayed.

"I'm fine," Willow said with artificial sweetness. "How the Hell do you think I am?" she barked sarcastically before stalking out of the room. Tara watched her go for a moment, sighing at the walls Willow was putting up between herself and everyone who cared about her. This had to stop, Tara knew. And there was only one way to get Willow to face her pain. Because if Willow didn't start dealing with it soon, Tara had no doubt they'd be burying another member of the Scooby Gang before another month passed.

"Willow, Willow wait up. I want…I want to talk to you," Deciding that she couldn't afford to be timid like she usually was, Tara braced herself and stepped into the hallway behind Willow. Willow stopped but didn't turn around.

"What if I don't want to talk to you?" she asked, knowing that she was hurting Tara's feelings but not really caring.

"Tough…tough because I'm putting my foot down and telling you th...that this has got to stop, Willow." Now Willow turned around and fixed Tara with a look that Tara swore would dust a vampire just from sheer force.

"That's a laugh, Tara. Go ahead, `put your foot down', it's not going to do either of us any good." Willow laughed bitterly. The sound was harsh and ground on Tara's nerves.

"Willow stop it, it's just your hurt talking."

"No, it isn't. And stop what? What is it that I'm doing that needs to be stopped?"

"Stop swallowing your pain and pushing everyone away. Talk to me, Willow, let me help you." Tara pleaded. A cruel smile twisted Willow's normally sweet features and Tara found herself a little afraid of this new Willow. She wasn't the sweet and loving person Tara had fallen in love with. `She still is, she's just hidden underneath all the pain', Tara reassured herself. `Deep underneath'.

"You can't make this better, Tara. Stop thinking that you can. There is no spell, no magic wand or word that is EVER going to make this better again." Willow hissed in a voice low and heavy with pain.

"I know, Willow. I know. But you can't go on living this way…"

"What, without Buffy? I all ready figured that out, Tara." Willow interrupted. Tara again winced, this time from the pain and anger that was radiating from Willow. `This is it,' Tara told herself, `after this, there's no going back. It has to be done but she's going to hate me for saying it.'

"She's dead, Willow. You're not." The second the words left her mouth, Tara would have given anything to take them back after she saw the look on Willow's face. Grief, hurt, pain, and fear replaced the anger and cruelty that had been there a moment before. Tears brimmed in Willow's eyes but stubbornly refused to fall. It broke Tara's heart.

"You. Have. No. Idea." Each word was ground out through teeth clenched together so tightly that Tara wouldn't have been surprised if they shattered. Willow's entire body was shaking but Tara couldn't tell if it was from grief or rage.

"You loved her, Willow. I understand that."

"Love her and no, no you don't." Willow's voice was but a whisper of what it was moments earlier causing Tara to have to strain to hear her. Tara took a step closer and was relieved when Willow didn't step away.

"Yes I do, Willow," she said calmly, taking another step closer. "I didn't mean you loved her as your best friend, although I'm sure you did. I meant that you loved her like no other. It was Buffy you loved all this time, not me." The words nearly killed her to say but Tara knew Willow needed to hear the truth. Willow lifted her head to look Tara in the eyes.

"Love, not loved. Stop using the past tense, because I STILL love her. Just because she's d…dead doesn't mean I stopped." Willow said as her voice choked on the stuttered word. Tara nodded.

"I'm sorry, Willow. I know you love Buffy, are in love with Buffy. I have known, on some level I guess for a while now. And I know that the reason this is so hard for you is because you never had the chance to tell her. I'm sorry it happened that way, Willow, I really am. But Buffy would personally kick your butt from one end of the world to the other if she saw what you were doing to yourself. She loved you Willow and she'd want you to live your life. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for her. She loved you," Tara repeated, never doubting the words. The tears in Willow's eyes finally splashed down her cheeks and mirrored the ones on Tara's face.

"But not the way I love her," the whisper carried over to Tara's ears. Willow's voice was so tiny it was almost lost. Tara raised an eyebrow and gave Willow a small smile, her love for the girl in front of her giving her the strength to point out what had been painfully obvious.

"Did you ever ask her?" Willow's eyes grew wide at the question.

"What?" she squeaked out.

"Did you ever ask her how she felt about you? If the love was deeper than `friend-love'?" Willow shook her head. "Then how do you know?"

"Because Buffy was straight," Willow said simply. This time Tara smiled widely.

"So were you, once." She wasn't trying to be mean she was just trying to open Willow's eyes a little, although it was too late now. Inside, Tara prayed for the soul of Willow's lost love. Willow just looked at her a minute before the tears started again and she leaned into Tara's arms.

"Goddess, Tara, it hurts so much!" she sobbed into Tara's shoulder. Tara hugged her tightly and tried to soothe her.

"I know, baby, I know." Tara whispered back. Willow heard the soft words and realized that their relationship had just been blown out of the water with her admission of love for Buffy. She pulled out of Tara's arms and looked into the other girl's face.

"Oh, Tara, I'm so sorry that I've hurt you! I didn't mean to. You shouldn't have found out this way. I should have told you sooner and…" Tara put her hand over Willow's mouth to stop the onset of babble mode and smiled.

"It's OK, Willow. Honest. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt but I think I've known for a while that your heart belonged to someone else. To Buffy. I was just happy to find a place in it, even for a little while."

"I understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore, Tara. I'll miss you though." Tara's eyes shot wide in shock.

"I still want to be friends, Willow! Don't ever doubt that I'm your friend. You mean so much to me that I'd never be able to just walk away forever and never speak to you again. I'll still be your friend, if you want me." Willow nodded.

"Yes, please. I've lost enough friends to last me a lifetime." Willow told her.

"You'll never lose me, Willow. Even if we're separated by miles or time or, Goddess forbid, death I will always be your friend."

"Thank you," Willow said around the large yawn that enveloped her. Tara chuckled at the display.

"Come on, Willow, let's put you to bed. You need to sleep." Willow looked at her with a panicked look on her face.

"The nightmares, Tara, I can't…" she pleaded, in tears again.

"It's OK, Willow. I can chase the nightmares away. Will you please let me cast a spell to help you sleep? You're going to get sick if you don't get some sleep soon." Reluctantly Willow nodded.

"I just want…I just want to rest," Willow explained breathlessly. She looked so defeated and suddenly weak that Tara thought she was going to collapse right there in the hallway. She managed to get Willow into her bed, Buffy's bed, which Willow sometimes shared with Dawn when the younger girl need to, before Willow gave up the fight to stay vertical. Tara tucked the tired and grieving redhead in and quietly cast a spell to give Willow at least eight-hours of uninterrupted sleep. After one last look at the peaceful look on Willow's sleeping face, Tara headed to her own room for a much-needed cry. She knew that letting go of Willow was what was best for both of them, but it still hurt nonetheless.

Downstairs Giles and Dawn were in the midst of a quiet conversation, or at least Giles was. Dawn hadn't been much for talking. She'd been trying very hard to stay strong for everyone else and not showing any real outward signs of grief. But everyone knew that she was grieving, she had just chosen to do so openly with Willow only. Dawn had become almost alarmingly attached to Willow since Buffy died, wanting to know where Willow was at all times and sometimes crawling into bed with Willow just for comfort. And Willow allowed her to, needing the comfort just as much as Dawn did. They were undoubtedly the two people closest to Buffy and the two taking her death the hardest. While Willow withdrew from everyone and everything around her, Dawn switched between acting like nothing happened or slipping into a barely functional fugue state when the only person she'd listen to was Willow.

Giles was somewhat lost as to what to do for them and for himself. Buffy was like a daughter to him and he cared very deeply for her. He was proud, humbled and honored that both Joyce and Buffy had given him guardianship of Dawn in the event of their deaths. It showed the former Watcher exactly how Buffy felt towards him since the girl usually fell short when it came to verbally expressing emotions. And for Joyce to have done the same thing filled Giles with a sort of pride he'd never experienced. `She trusted me with the safety of her daughters. I failed one,' he lamented with overwhelming regret, `but I will not fail Dawn. No matter what the cost I will keep her safe.' The vow he made in memory of Buffy and Joyce was silent but strong. Now that Glory was gone it seemed that Dawn would be safe. But they lived on a former HellMouth and anything was possible here.

"I miss her Giles, you know?" Dawn quietly asked while sitting curled up in a ball on the end of the couch. Giles looked at her in sympathy. She looked so much like Buffy when she sat like that it was disconcerting to him. She also looked lost and frightened, which Giles knew she was. He nodded and took a sip of his tea.

"I understand, Dawn. And I won't patronize you by saying that it gets any easier with time because I have no guarantee that it will." He spoke gently, honestly from his heart hoping to lessen some of the pain she was feeling. He was heartened, however, that she seemed willing to talk to him about it. He had been starting to become extremely concerned for her mental state. "I can only say that all of us are grieving as well. Please remember, Dawn, that you are not alone and that we are all here for you." Dawn shrugged and sighed.

"I know. It's just, God I don't know, and they're both gone, Giles. Mom and Buffy and it's not fair!" Dawn's voice rose as she finished the sentence, anger finally starting to break through the fugue state she'd been in. Giles moved to get closer to her when she shot up off the couch and headed upstairs. Giles sighed.

"I checked on her earlier. I believe she's sleeping, Dawn, finally. Please be careful not to wake her." Giles told the young girl. He knew she was heading to Willow's room. It worried him that she was becoming so attached to the grief stricken Wicca. Should, God forbid, anything happen to Willow, Giles had no doubt that they would lose Dawn as well. Everything was falling apart around them with Buffy's death. Giles wasn't sure if Buffy had ever had a chance to realize and understand the integral part that she had played in everyone's lives. The best friend, the daughter, the sister, the savior and the innocent all rolled into one extraordinary package. He hoped wherever she was now, Buffy knew.

"Thanks, Giles. I'll be quiet." Dawn said softly as she went upstairs. After she left Giles put his head in his hands and did something he wasn't prone to doing: he wept. He wept for all of them; Buffy, Joyce, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Anya, Angel; the list was too long to mention everyone who was effected by Buffy's death. And he wept for himself. But most of all he wept for the world because he felt that it had lost the purest and most remarkable soul whom had ever walked the Earth.

Dawn opened the door to Buffy's old room slowly, hoping not to wake Willow. She knew that Willow needed to rest. Willow was the only other person having as bad a time sleeping as Dawn was. Like Willow, all Dawn saw when she closed her eyes was Buffy. She saw her at that last moment, when she said that she loved Dawn and then leapt into the portal. Buffy sacrificed herself to spare her and now Dawn had no idea what to do with herself. `How do you live up to something like that?' She knew it was unreasonable to expect herself to live up to the standards Buffy had set but she still felt obligated to fill the spot vacated by her sister. She also knew no one else expected that of her but it didn't change the fact that she did.

She watched Willow sleep for a little while; aware that Willow's slumber was magically induced. Part of her was angry with Tara for casting the spell but she supposed it was for the best. She felt the overwhelming pull of sleep and after deciding that she herself wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise, Dawn crawled into the bed next to Willow and curled up. She knew that everyone was worried about her attachment to Willow. It just didn't seem strange to her and it wasn't a gay thing either. Willow was like a sister to her, the closest thing Dawn felt she really had to any remaining family. Sure she felt close to Giles but he was so much older, a father figure really while Willow was Buffy's age, not much older than Dawn herself and therefore easier to relate to. So, since she felt that Willow was the only thing she had left, Dawn was determined to hold on to the older girl with everything she had and she didn't care what the others thought. This wasn't about them anyway, it was about her.

And Willow never seemed to mind. If anything it seemed to Dawn that the only time Willow let herself feel anything anymore was when she was with Dawn. The walls came down and Willow was Willow again, in all her pain and hurt. Plus Dawn figured Buffy would want her to keep a close eye on Willow now that she was gone. Dawn wasn't so sure Buffy realized that her feelings for Willow were very obvious to her little sister. Buffy cared more for Willow than as just a friend and it was deeply painful to Dawn to know that both the older girls had lost out on something that clearly would have been amazing. She didn't care if Buffy was bisexual or gay or whatever just as long as her sister was happy. That was all that mattered. And now it killed Dawn to know that Buffy never would be and neither would Willow who's own feelings for Buffy were just as evident.

Dawn chuckled softly to herself wondering how it was that two people who knew each other for years and shared a dorm room at college, not to mention spent nearly every spare moment with each other never noticed the truth in their eyes. Never saw the boundless love that shined brightly there. She chuckled and then she sobbed. `Life is too unfair', she decided. `I wish the monks had never created me if this is what being human is like. Life sucks and it hurts.' Curling closer to the still sleeping Willow, Dawn relaxed and tried to fall asleep, hoping against hope that tonight her slumber would be free from the horrors that were haunting her waking moments. Or, at least, that the night would pass quickly and she could try to get through another day. `Another day without Buffy', she reminded herself. `I'm not sure I care if I never wake back up. I'm sorry, Buffy, but this is just too hard. Forgive me,' and with that, Dawn finally fell asleep.

Willow woke the next morning to find Dawn curled up beside her. She smiled to herself and lay silently brushing Dawn's hair away from her face. In slumber, Dawn looked carefree and innocent. Like the events of the past few weeks had never happened. But Willow knew differently. Today was another day she was going to have to endure without Buffy. She didn't know how many more she could take. It was like she was missing a part of herself. She breathed but the air didn't reach her; her heart pumped but her blood didn't circulate. Willow wondered how long she could live like that before she faded away. She wondered how much longer she'd have to suffer her own torment before she was freed.

Suicide had entered her mind but it was never a viable option. It wasn't within her to go through with it and despite her pain she knew it would dishonor Buffy's memory in such a way that Buffy's spirit would never forgive her. Although if she stopped to think about it, what she was doing was sort a long drawn out form of suicide, but she tried not to think that way. Instead she went through each day hoping that the next would be better. But it never was. `Or maybe the days are getting better but I won't let myself feel it', Willow reasoned with herself. But she couldn't seem to let herself feel anything because it didn't seem fair. It wasn't fair that she was here and Buffy wasn't. `Survivor's guilt,' Willow told herself. `And I've got it in spades'. Dawn rolled onto her back and opened her eyes. After a minute to remember where she was, she gave Willow a small smile and yawned.

"Morning," she said. "I hope you don't mind that I crawled in here with you, it's just, you looked so peaceful and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to sleep…"

"It's OK, Dawn. I don't mind, I've told you that," Willow interrupted. Honestly she was glad for the comfort it gave her knowing that Dawn was safe. For however much longer she was alive, Willow swore that she'd make sure Dawn was safe, no matter what. Dawn climbed out of the bed and padded to the door.

"Nature calls," she joked. She looked intently at Willow, as if looking to see something in the older girls' face. Willow just looked at her blankly. "What's on the agenda for today, Will?" she asked, hoping to get a somewhat positive response. Instead, Willow just shrugged.

"I don't know," Willow answered blandly. Dawn cringed at the hollow tone of Willow's usually expressive voice. Now Willow was starting to shut Dawn out of her life and it hurt. She was slowly watching her sister's best friend disappear into herself but knew there was precious little she could do about it.

"Oh, OK. I think Giles wants to take me shopping for groceries. Do you wanna come?" Willow shook her head.

"No thanks, I think I'll just stick around here today," Willow told her. Dawn sighed.

"Look, I know I'm the last one to talk but you can't go on like this. Neither of us can. Buffy wouldn't want us to live like this…"

"Just go, Dawn, please?" Willow begged. "I can't do this, not right now. Maybe later, OK?" Dawn nodded and left to start her day. Willow watched her go and then curled back under the covers. `I'm not ready to face today yet', she decided to herself. `Talk to me later'.

Meanwhile, Tara had spent the time after her crying jag as well as most of the night on the phone with every Wicca contact she knew, calling in any favors she was owed as well as making some promises herself trying to find a way to make things right. She didn't care what it took; she had to find a way to help Willow. She couldn't bear to sit by and idly watch as Willow destroyed herself with grief. Tara knew that the only way to save Willow was to find a way to bring Buffy back but she had had no idea how to do that.

In the first few days after Buffy had died, she had caught Willow going through piles and piles of spell books looking for a spell to bring Buffy back but the consequences were horrendous. Buffy as a zombie, Buffy as a mindless husk, nothing that would bring Buffy back as herself. Willow had eventually given up on the idea, but Tara continued asking about a way to do it among the Wicca community, just without Willow knowing. Tara knew that there had to be a way of returning Buffy and she knew she had to do whatever it took to do it, even though she knew she'd be losing Willow if she succeeded.

Finally last night, she'd hit pay dirt. A friend back East told her about a pair of crystals that when used together would summon the Oracles of Balance, two of the Oracles in charge of the gates to the afterlife and whose direct bosses were the Powers That Be. Once summoned, they would listen as someone close to the deceased presented the case as to why the deceased should be returned to life. Tara figured that if they could get both crystals, they could send Willow to speak to the Oracles. She knew if anyone could make a successful plea for Buffy's life, it was Willow. Now she had to find both crystals and then tell the gang about it but she wanted to wait before she mentioned it to Willow because she didn't want to raise the grieving girls' hopes only to have it turn out to be a false lead. She entered the kitchen to discuss the situation with Giles and found him at the table clipping coupons and talking to a pajama clad Dawn.

"Hurry and get dressed Dawn. Oh, look, a dollar off Colgate toothpaste." Tara had to stifle a giggle as Dawn stuck her tongue out at the back of Giles' head from where she sat on the counter.

"I don't use Colgate," Dawn told him haughtily.

"But it's a dollar off, Dawn," Giles continued, unperturbed.

"Doesn't do any good if I don't use I, does it?" Giles sighed.

"I suppose not." He looked up at Tara as she entered the room. "Good morning, Tara. Sleep well?"

"Not really, I had some stuff on my mind. Could I talk to you for a minute, Giles?" Dawn hopped down from the counter.

"And that would be my cue to leave. I'll be ready in 15, Giles." Dawn told them as she left the room. After she left, Tara turned to Giles.

"She seems better today," Giles nodded.

"Yes, a little. Seems she got a good night's sleep," he said pointedly. Tara blushed.

"Um…you're not mad, are you?" she asked timidly knowing that extending the sleep spell she put on Willow to include Dawn should she crawl into bed with Willow was being presumptuous but she was only trying to help. Giles shook his head.

"Of course not. I understand your reasoning. I wouldn't make a habit of it, however or let them know what you did. I doubt either of them would be very forgiving. Now what was it you wanted to speak to me about?"

"Have you ever heard of the Crystals of Trebuchet?" Giles thought for a moment before nodding.

"I believe I may have read something about them in one of the Watcher's tomes during my studies. Why?"

"What exactly do you know about them?"

"If I remember correctly," he said as he stood up and headed to the stack of books he had moved to the Summer's living room for quick reference. She looked at him with her eyebrow raised as she saw the stack of books. "Yes, well," he cleared his throat, "I figured I could use this time to catch up on my reading and go over what I already know," he said as a way of explaining. He didn't want to tell her that he'd been looking for a way to brig Buffy back. Unfortunately he'd been unsuccessful. He picked up a particularly thick one and stared flipping through the pages. "Anyway, the crystals are needed in order to summon the Oracles of Balance. Here it is," he said as he found the page he wanted and handed the book to Tara. It showed an old artist's rendering of two crystals about the size of Tara's fist placed in two metal receptacles in front of an altar. She handed the book back to Giles.

"The Oracles of Balance are also known as the Keepers. They guard the gate to the afterlife from anyone entering or leaving without the express concent of the Powers That Be. The crystals are needed to gain an audience with the Keepers. According to the text, once placed in the holders next to the altar, one must recite an ancient summoning chant, or demand an audience. Then the petitioner must plead their case to the Oracles and from there it is decided whether or not they can have the chance to retrieve whomever is lost to them." He put down the book and looked at Tara in astonishment.

"What is this about, Tara? It is believed that the crystals were destroyed centuries ago. Now they are considered to be nothing more than a myth, a parable. Surely you don't think…" Tara wrapped her arms around herself and started to pace.

"No, Giles, I'm pretty sure about this. Besides, most of the things we deal with on a regualr basis the rest of the world believes to be a myth. And I've been looking for a way to bring Buffy back since we lost her." Giles stared at her in surprise.

"Why? I mean I don't understand. We all want her back but…" he stammered.

"It's simple, Giles. For Willow, for her happiness." It took a minute but understanding finally flashed across Giles' face.

"Oh, I understand. I think. Tell me what you know then."

"I spoke to my friend who runs a business retrieving lost relics. He takes an order and then does whatever he can to fill it. I asked him to keep an eye out for anything that could get Buffy back without dire consequences. I called him last night and he said that he's got a lead on one of the crystals. He's going to try and track it down for me."

"Have you told Willow?" Tara shook her head.

"I wanted to wait until I spoke to you. Do you think you might be able to find the other one? Mark, my friend, said the one he knows of is in Ireland in someone's collection. He thinks the other one might be in England. If it is what I'm looking for, he's going to trade it for another relic the owner is looking for and then send it to me."

"At what cost, Tara?" Giles asked, ever practical. He didn't care about monetary cost; he was concerned about what Tara might have to do to repay Mark back. Giles knew from experience that people rarely did things like this without wanting something substantial in return. Knowing that Tara was a fairly powerful Wicca herself made Giles nervous about the cost to her. Tara smiled at his concern, knowing what he was thinking.

"Nothing. No spells, no whammies. Mark owed me a favor and now I'm collecting. Honest," she somewhat lied. `But what he doesn't know…' Tara reminded herself. `Besides, it's worth one small whammie.'

"All right. I'll start looking as soon as I return from grocery shopping with Dawn." He looked hopefully at Tara. "I fear she's going to turn this into a junk food run and I'll be powerless to stop her. I don't suppose you'd?" She shook her head.

"I can't. I've got some other things to do and I have to talk to Mark again. Besides, I want to stay here with Willow in case she needs anything."

"All right, I understand," Giles conceeded as Dawn came back into the room.

"You two all done with the super spy stuff cause I'm hungry and there ain't anything to eat in this house." Giles winced.

"Isn't, Dawn," Giles corrected her as he reached up and removed his glasses before starting to rub the bridge of his nose. "Please don't butcher the English language any more than you American's usually do, please."

"OK, geez, sorry. Let's get this wagon train a movin'," Dawn said cheekily, more alive than she had been for two weeks. Giles just sighed and followed her out the door.

"Have fun, Giles!" Tara yelled after them, earning her a glare from the former librarian. She went back upstairs to check on Willow, who had fallen asleep again before she herself decided she needed a nap. `I promise I'll get her back for you, love,' Tara promised her former girlfriend. `Even if it breaks my heart to do so, I will find a way to bring her back to you'.

"I have good news, Tara," Giles told her two days later. "I contacted a former colleague of mine in England and he believes that he may be able to locate the other crystal." Tara's eyes light up in surprise and happiness. Her friend Mark had finished his deal with the Irishman who had been reluctant to part with the crystal but more than happy with the resulting trade. He had mailed it express to Tara and she was expecting it any day. The idea that they might have found the other crystal and were that much closer to getting Buffy back made Tara both elated and sorrowful. Elated that Willow's pain might be ended soon (and she would still be alive) but sorrowful because she was that much closer to really losing her.

"Really? How long until we know?" They had told everyone else about the crystals except Willow and Dawn. She and Giles wanted to have the crystals in hand before telling them, just in case something went wrong.

"A day or two, no longer."

"Tara!" Dawn yelled from the doorway. "A package's arrived for you! Do you want me to sign for it?" Tara jumped up from her seat and joined Dawn at the door.

"Thanks, Dawn, I got it." She signed for the package and then went back to Giles with Dawn hot on her heels.

"What is it? Is it some sort of wicked cool Wicca stuff?" she asked, full of her former exhuberance. While she didn't smile or laugh much, she was slowly coming back to herself. Tara shot a look at Giles that plainly asked what she should do now. Giles shrugged.

"Might as well tell her now," he offered reluctantly. Dawn frowned.

"Tell me what?" Dawn asked, starting to get nervous. The last time Giles looked like the way he did now it was over the whole `Dawn is the key' thing and she knew she wasn't ready for another shock like that right now. Instead, she sat quietly as Tara and Giles told her everything about the Crystals of Trebuchet and how they were hoping to use them to get Buffy back. Finally she was able to think through the swirling thoughts in her head.

"We might get her back?" she asked quietly. She didn't dare hope. "Why didn't you tell me?" her voice started to rise in anger.

"We may be able to get her back Dawn, but we didn't want to get your hopes up only to them have them dashed." Giles told her gently.

"Have you told Willow?" her voice took on a snide tone, like she used when she felt she was the last to know something.

"No, we haven't," Tara told her. "For the same reason." Dawn nodded her understanding.

"She's not going to be very happy that you're keeping things from her," Dawn pointed out.

"No, I'm not," Willow's voice came from the stairway where no one had noticed her come down. She was standing there looking very upset, her hands on her hips and Tara could have sworn there was a glow behind her normally calm green eyes. "I'm not happy at all," she said coldly before letting out a long sigh. "But I understand."

"Willow, we had to be sure," Giles started as way of explaining their actions. He knew that Willow was in a somewhat fragile condition and he was afraid that almost anything was going to push her over the edge sometime soon. She waved him off impatiently.

"I said I understood. I don't like being lied to or kept out of the loop, but let's just drop it OK?" Tara and Giles nodded, not wanting to anger her further.

"What do you think, Willow?" Dan asked, breaking the tense silence. Willow sighed and sat down in a nearby chair.

"I don't know. I don't really think I have the strength to do this. I can't hope and then lose everything again." Dawn wrapped her arm around Willow's shoulder in sympathy.

"I know, Will. But we can't turn away from this if it might work," Dawn told her calmly. Willow nodded.

"All right, I'll help if you need me to. You know I'd do anything for Buffy, all you had to do was ask." Tara took the crystal out of the box and turned it around in her hand. It was a little bigger than her fist and oval shaped. When the light hit it it lit up in a myriad of colors sending streams across their faces. Giles sucked in an awestruck breath at its simple beauty. Tara silently handed the crystal over to Willow who studied it intently.

"When will we hear about the other one?" she asked, her voice hushed. She was almost unwilling to hope that this would work because she knew that if it failed, she wouldn't be coming back, one way or the other.

"As I told Tara, no more than a day or two. If the lead turns out to be genuine, and I believe that it is, then we should have it in our custody before the end of the week," Giles rose from where was seated and walked over to Willow and placed his hand on her shoulder in support. "I don't wish to get your hopes up, Willow, that is why I put off telling you. But I have the distinct feeling that this is all going to work out."

If Willow had known two days ago when Giles had told her it was `all going to work out' that she'd be standing where she was at the moment, she would have beat the poor man with the living room lamp. She was cold, she was dirty, but most of all she was angry. Angry beyond all reason. The lead had turned out to be genuine and Giles' friend Tomas had sent the crystal overseas as soon as he was able. Unfortunately, word travels fast on the HellMouth and it somehow got out that they were trying to retrieve the Slayer. Needless to say, several `people' were emphatically against that. All ready, Willow and the gang had `strongly discouraged' Harmony and a few others from getting in the way when they'd popped up at the post office the night the crystal arrived. Unfortunately not all opponents were so easily discouraged.

"Look, give me the crystal and maybe I won't stake you, OK?" Willow tried to bargin. She was getting tired of brushing vampire dust off of herself and this guy was clearly not the sharpest stake in the kit. He was taunting the seriously pissed off Wicca with the crystal his buddy had gotten just before being staked. The stakee had dropped the crystal but Willow was unable to beat the second vamp to it.

"No way, sweettheart," the vamp laughed. He figured he had her right were he wanted her. She didn't look too tough even if she had staked his `drinking buddy', so dinner was a given. Plus he was keeping her from getting what she wanted, the Slayer. And he thought it was hilarious.

"You heard the lady, mate," a new voice came from behind the gloating vampire. Willow looked over to see Spike standing there, cigarette in his mouth, looking just as pissed as she felt. `Can't blame him,' she thought to herself, `he cares pretty deeply for Buffy too. Even if that did majorly wig her out.'

"Go away, ya Uncle Tom," the vamp hissed as he turned his back on the lowly human to face the traitor. Spike tsked the other vamp.

"Should never turn yer back on Red there," he warned indicating Willow. "She's a wee bit more dangerous than she looks." The vamp spun around and was met by Willow right up in front of him chanting. Her eyes glowed as she spoke and the vampire found himself unable to move. It was then that he realized he was about to join his buddy.

"I asked you once for the crystal," Willow all but growled, her voice taking on a strange echoing quality. "I don't plan on asking twice. Plus I asked you nicely but since you didn't listen, now I have to kill you." Spike averted his eyes as a brilliant flash lit up the area nearly as bright as day and when he looked back, the vamp was gone leaving Willow standing there with the crystal in hand. She sighed.

"Why can't anything ever be easy, Spike?" she asked. Spike shrugged.

"Wouldn't be our lives then, would it, Love? What now?" he asked even though he knew the answer. He was concerned for Willow. He'd been watching over her for a while now making sure she was OK. He'd always felt a connection with the sweet Wicca, maybe because she never seemed like she hated him. She used to be afraid of him, of what he night do, but she never seemed to have the same hatred for him that everyone else did. Even the night he'd tried to kill her in her dorm room before they'd both found out he'd been chipped, she never screamed (OK, she screamed, who wouldn't? But it wasn't the same kind of scream his other victims had had) nor had she sworn at him. He respected her for her ability to face whatever was tossed her way with grace. And he hated how she was acting now.

"We head to Angel's. Ready for a road trip?"

"Oh, goody," he said sarcastically. Truthfully, he had no interest in going to L.A. "You go ahead. Send me a postcard from the City of Angels, won't you, Red?" Willow shoved the crystal into her knapsack and sighed again. She was doing a lot of that lately.

"I thought you'd do anything to get Buffy back, Spike. Or at least I thought you'd want to be there when we do. Why the sudden reluctance now? I thought you cared for her." Willow's voice was taunting, almost evil sounding like the recently dusted vamp. Spike shook his head, snuffed out the butt of the cigarette and then lit another.

"Y'know, Red, I'm not sure I like this new you. Thought I would but no, I kinda like the old you. I think I liked your sweetness an' all. You seemed to have killed it, though. Pity. It was kinda refreshin'." Willow rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Are you coming with us or not, Spike?"

"Nah, love. I do care `bout her. More than I should I suppose. But we both know she doesn't care for me. No, there's only room in the Slayer's `eart fer one an' it ain't me." Willow shrugged.

"Like I said, `whatever'. See you around, Spike." She turned and started to walk away. Spike smiled at her retreating back and couldn't resist one last parting shot.

"Good luck, Willow. I hope ya bring `er back. An' I hope ya figure out what's been bloody obvious to the rest of us fer a while now." Willow spun around to ask him what he meant but he had already disappeared, leaving a small trail of cigarette smoke behind him. Sighing once more, this time in annoyance, Willow headed back to the Magic Shop and the other crystal. `Soon, Buffy. I'll either get you back or be joining you very soon.'

They arrived in L.A. the next morning and explained the situation to Angel and his crew. They were enthusiastic but concerned. There wasn't much more information about the crystals aside from what they already knew and they had no copy of the ancient chant. Which meant that Willow was going to have to make it up as she went along. Something that didn't make her or Giles very happy.

"Perhaps it would be best if I accompanied her to the summoning ground," Giles suggested, desperately needing to feel as though he was doing something. He hated that the whole thing weighed solely on Willow's already overburdened shoulders. Tara shook her head slowly. She know how Giles felt because she felt the same way. But it was important for all of them to believe in Willow.

"You can't, Giles. Only Willow can do this. The only reason that Angel can go with her to the summoning ground is because of his connection with the Powers That Be. She has to do this alone, Giles."

"You seem to be awfully sure of that, Tara," Giles pointed out. He had no idea how someone usually so timid and unsure could suddenly be so confident about something so uncertain.

"I am. Look, the person closest to the deceased has the best chance of pleading their case and succeeding. Willow is our best choice, even you agreed to that."

"I do, it's just so much is riding on this."

"She knows and she'll do the best she can. Giles, only Willow can pull this off. Yes, everyone else is close to Buffy, except maybe me, Anya, Gunn and Wesley. But your relationships are different than the one between Buffy and Willow." She wasn't about to mention to Giles that it was Willow's love for Buffy that was going to make or break the effort. She figured Giles had enough on his mind without adding that. Besides, she'd leave that to Buffy and Willow when the time was right.

"I suppose," Giles conceeded.

"Dawn wouldn't be a good choice because we're still not sure whether or not she retained any of the `keys' power now that it's time has past. That might interfere with things. Despite the fact that she's Buffy's sister, she was still created by magic, another factor that might interfere."

"Willow is a powerful Wicca, Tara. How does that not interfere?"

"It's different. Willow made the choice to be a Wicca and to summon the power that was always within her. Dawn was created by another. Conscious and unconscious choice, Giles." Giles nodded.

"I see, I think. It's odd, don't you think, that you're telling me these things when it is usually my role to explain things to others?" Tara smiled.

"You're too close to what's going on, Giles, it's interfering with your objectivity. While I like Buffy, I'm still new enough to the group so that I see things differently. The bond between Willow and Buffy is special. Has there ever been a truly substantial rift between the two that I don't know about?" Giles thought a moment.

"Nothing that wasn't solved fairly quickly. They always seemed to work through the bumps rather well." He had to give them credit for that. He knew that everyone fought, it was part of being human and he knew that two individuals as close as Buffy and Willow had to have had their share of disagreements but they always seemed to emerge from the friction stronger than they were when they'd encountered it.

"But Buffy has experienced rifts with everyone else, even you, hasn't she?" Giles thought a moment, remembering the times when he and Buffy had had their differences, the incident from her eighteenth birthday being the most obvious.

He had betrayed her trust in the most unspeakably heinous way by injecting her with the serum that robbed her of her abilities, however temporarily the condition was. He had chosen the Watcher Council's wishes and traditions over his relationship with Buffy and her trust in him had suffered for it. He hadn't been sure he would ever regain the level of trust they'd had before then but the girl had surprised him again and gotten past the betrayal. He was never sure he deserved her continuing faith in him but he had it nonetheless.

He couldn't recall anything particularly bad between Buffy and Xander but he had to admit that the relationship between the two girls was more intricate than most other relationships he'd witnessed in his entire life. He nodded again.

"That's why you need to let Willow do what she needs to. Trust her Giles, she won't let us down." Tara told him while laying a hand on his shoulder in support. Giles was impressed with the way Tara was handling herself. Another surprise from a place he didn't expect it. `Perhaps there is more to Tara than any of us save Willow give her credit for,' he considered. As much as he was worried for her welfare, he had to agree with Tara that Willow was their best hope.

"I pray you are right, Tara. For all our sakes but especially for Willow's."

Willow was staring out the window of the car as Angel drove her to the summoning ground a little before midnight. She hadn't said much since arriving in L.A., concentrating more on the task at hand and on how she was going to accomplish it. She still didn't have a clue. She had to get Buffy back; there was no question in her mind that she had to succeed. The look on Dawn's face when she'd hugged Willow good-bye was enough to let Willow know that failure was not really an option. Hope and trust was displayed openly on Dawn's face when she'd wished her luck and it turned Willow's insides into knots thinking about the amount of faith the teen as well as everyone else had placed in her. The last time someone had put that much faith and trust in her, she'd let them down. At least that's how she felt.

Angel parked the car and walked around to open the car door for Willow after she just seemed to stare into space. She got out and walked around the columns of the building studying it. It was nothing special, just a small old tabernacle of sorts on the outskirts of town that had long been abandoned. Willow walked into the building and after inviting Angel in after her, she started dusting off the altar and getting ready. After watching her prepare, Angel finally spoke up.

"Are you ready, Willow?" Angel asked softly. He was worried for her. Dealing with the Oracles, any Oracles was a trying and draining thing. While he had no doubt that Willow was up to the challenge, he was afraid that if she failed, for whatever reason, it would totally destroy her. She looked at him with determination written clearly in her eyes and nodded.

"As I'll ever be," she told him, hoping to sound more confident than she felt.

"Start when you're ready then and good luck," he watched as Willow picked up the first crystal and walked over to one of the holders next to the altar.

"Hear me, oh Keepers of the Gate," Willow started her voice shaky and small. She knew what she wanted to say, she just needed to sound confident about it. She took a deep breath and tried to put more strength behind her words and less fear. "Hear me for I call upon you to fulfill your sacred duty." She placed the first crystal in its holder and watched it suddenly light up. She walked back over to her knapsack and picked up the second crystal.

"I call upon you to hear me as I plead the case of one who was wrongly taken from this world before her time." She set down the other crystal and stood before the altar. She watched the light from the second crystal mix with the first and fill the room. "Though her sacrifice was noble, the world was saved, the price was too high. I ask you to hear me plead for the life of Elisabeth Summers, the Slayer who sacrificed herself in place of her sister. Who made such a sacrifice without hesitation and who made many such sacrifices while performing her duties as Slayer. It is on this basis, the basis that she did so much for so many that I ask you, no beg you to hear me!"

As she spoke, her voice grew louder and Angel watched as the room filled with the strange colored light from the crystals. It seemed to bounce around the room and swirl around both occupants. Soon, he was blinded by it and lost sight of Willow. When the light faded, he saw that Willow was gone. `Good luck, Willow. I hope you succeed, as much for yourself as for her'.

Willow watched as a portal appeared before her and seemed to beckon her forward. She took a deep breath, put on her `Resolve Face' and stepped through the gateway. She was greeted by blinding whiteness and two beings she assumed were the Oracles of Balance, one male and one female.

"Who is it that has called upon us using the Crystals of Trebuchet?" the male asked indifferently.

"My name is Willow Rosenberg and I come before you to beg for the soul of my friend, Buffy Summers." Willow said simply with far more confidence than she felt. The Oracles looked her up and down before replying. The scrutiney was making her want to squirm but she fought the uneasiness and forced herself to face the Oracles head on.

"You are a child of magic, are you not?" the female asked. Willow nodded. "If you possess the amount of powerful magick that we sense within you why do you seek our help? Surely you could accomplish the task on your own?" Willow considered the words and truthfully she had tried to find a way to do it herself but the price was too high.

"I can not for two reasons; first, I may seem powerful, but I do not have access to the amount of power everyone seems to think I do." She was starting to get annoyed, actually, by everyone telling her how powerful she was. While the idea that she was someday going to be this kick-ass Wicca excited her, she'd gladly give up all the power in the universe to have one more day with Buffy. One day to tell her how she felt. She knew this was her only chance to get that opportunity. The female Oracle shook her head.

"The power is within you, young Wicca. It is you who deny yourself access to it," the Oracle informed her sounding almost like a schoolteacher scolding the class clown. It was a voice Willow was unfamiliar with hearing and she didn't like the implications behind it. But she pushed those thoughts back and focused on the task at hand.

"Maybe so but that doesn't matter. I read the spells that I could have used to bring Buffy back and they all have terrible consequences, like her being a soulless monster, being evil or a zombie. The price is too high and I don't want to mess with something like that. Besides, I wouldn't do that to her just so that I can have her back. I'm not that selfish. But if I am to have her back, I want her soul in tact, as she was before she died. Nothing more, nothing less."

"A wise decision. You have shown wisdom and an understanding of the greater powers of the universe. But you have not given us sufficient reason to grant your plea," the male Oracle told her and began to walk away. Willow ran a few steps after them and tried again.

"What do I have to do? I love her more than anyone, even you can realize. I can not, will not continue without her if there's a way to bring her back as she was."

"You love her, you say?" the female turned around to face Willow again. Realizing she was caught, (because she hadn't meant to say that to them) Willow started to try and explain her love for Buffy.

"Yes, more than my own life. I don't know how to put into words how I feel towards Buffy. With her in my life, by my side, all the horrible things don't seem so bad. And I don't mean because she's the Slayer. She has this light, this aura about her that just makes me feel safe, like no matter what she will be there for me. Without her the light is gone and my life is too dark to face."

"What if she does not return these feelings?" the male asked, stepping closer. Willow swallowed the hurt that the mere thought provoked within her and answered honestly.

"That will hurt, but I will get through it. It isn't that I need her love. I have it, as a best friend at least and that's enough. I don't need to have her IN love with me. I just need her WITH me. You know I can't lie to you here so this is the truth. I love her and if she doesn't love me I will feel pain but she will be alive. And that alone will be enough to conquer even the most torturous a heartache." The Oracles seemed to consider her words before speaking again.

"And what would you do to get what you wished?"

"Anything. Well, except kill someone. She wouldn't want that." Willow offered honestly.

"Would you give your life for hers?" the male asked.

"YES!" Willow shouted back without hesitation. "A thousand, a million times over if that's what it took. Anything. You want my soul to replace hers in, well, wherever she is, fine then. Do it, take it, whatever you want. Just return Buffy to her friends and family." The female shook her head and sighed.

"Do not be so quick to agree, young one. There is more involved in these things. A balance must be kept. If you remove Elisabeth's soul then there will be a void. That is not acceptable. You will have to replace her soul's place with another." It was Willow's turn to shake her head.

"You don't understand. I don't care what it takes. I know that there has to be a balance, that you can't just release Buffy's soul without putting another in its place. That's all swell and everything, I mean, if you didn't do things that way, why would anyone stay dead?" the Oracle was silent, letting the young human say what she needed to. "But I don't think you understand what Buffy means. Not just to me, but to everyone. Her friends, her family, the Earth are all at a loss without the light she brought into our world."

"And what of your love for her? Perhaps it is coloring your judgement and making Elisabeth out to be more than she is." The male Oracle suggested. Cold fury flashed through Willow's body.

"How DARE you? I don't care if you are some sort of higher power know-it-all! You don't know Buffy! You don't know how important she is!"

"She was the Slayer. Now she is dead and another will be called. That is the way of things, young Wicca." He told her patiently. Willow ground her teeth together to keep from saying nasty things that would probably get her sent straight to Hell: do not pass `Go', do not collect $200 sort of sent. Besides, she kind of wondered where she learned such language. `Buffy', she thought to herself with a smile. `Probably learned it from her.'

"Did you hear that no new Slayer was called to replace her? Or did you miss that Inter-Oracle-Office memo?" `Oh, good, now I'm channeling Buffy too.'

"There is all ready a Slayer. Perhaps the Powers That Be decided not to call another." He said as a way of explaination. Willow allowed herself a wry smile at the thought that the PTB would think Faith was their best candidate.

"I hope you're aware that Faith is currently `indisposed', as in incarcerated. Kind of puts a crimp in her Slayer activites when she's stuck behind bars." `Bitter, yes I can do bitter very well'. "Look," Willow started a little calmer, "you asked me if I would give my life for hers and I said `yes'. It isn't just because I love her, although I admit that has a very big part in my decision. But more than that it's because she's needed more than I am. Not only does the world need the best Slayer history has ever known, but also her friends need her. Her sister needs her back. Poor Dawn has no one now, besides us. She needs her sister."

"Dawn is not truly Elisabeth's sister. `Dawn' is a human construct created to mask the keys' true form. She has no need of her `sister'."

"Not true," Willow countered. "The monks created Dawn from Buffy's own blood, her lifeforce. And when they did that, Dawn became real and so did the memories and the emotions. Dawn is Buffy's sister in every way that truly matters. In their hearts, minds, and souls, those two are sisters and whether or not Dawn is a human or a key doesn't matter. The feelings are what matters. Dawn already lost her mother, why does she have to lose her sister as well?"

"You speak well, Willow Rosenberg, but you still do not grasp the full meaning of your request." The male Oracle pointed out. Willow threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

"Then TELL me," Willow demanded impatiently. "You're so worried about balance and whether or not I'm making this decision based solely on my own emotions. So tell me what it would take to get Buffy back and then I can make and informed decision." `Although, I'll still do whatever it takes'.

"Very well, but remember that if you do decide to follow through with your journey, there is no return for her should it not work out." The female Oracle told her in warning. Willow nodded. "Very well. You must first find the soul of Elisabeth, wherever she has taken herself."

"What do you mean `wherever she has taken herself'? If she died, didn't she go to the afterlife? Like Heaven, because I know Buffy didn't go to Hell. She's pretty much all ready been there." Both Oracles shook their heads.

"Humans do not have a full grasp on what the afterlife truly is. It is different for each person. It is what you make it out to be; it is your choice. Every being gets the afterlife that they feel they deserve. Wherever Elisabeth chose to go she has gone. And that could be anywhere, or anytime."

"You mean you don't know where she is?" Willow asked, agast. `So much for the `All-knowing' part of their resume'.'

"We are but Oracles, young one, we can guide but we can't accomplish your task for you." Willow nodded in understanding. "Only the Powers That Be know where Elisabeth has sent herself. And even they only begrudgingly agree to your request because of the strength of your plea. Neither of us will assist you other than to give you some parting advice."

"OK, what so I have to do?"

"We see that you are ready for whatever lay ahead of you. If this is true, first you must find her."

"How do I do that?" the Oracles smiled.

"If your love for Elisabeth is as strong as you present it to be, then you will simply know. After you find her, you must release her from the hold her `afterlife' will have one her. She may be perfectly content to stay and if that is so then you will have failed."

"What if I fail?" Willow asked, not afraid that she'd have to forfeit her own life but afraid that failure may be a possibility. If Buffy had created an ideal afterlife, then how could she get the girl to return to the Hell that was their true lives?

"Then you will be returned to your plane of existance with the knowledge that you failed. And you will lose any further chance to retrieve Elisabeth. She will remain in her `afterlife' for all eternity."

"I understand. But what if she agrees to leave? What then?"

"If you have proven to Elisabeth that what you have to offer her in the real world is better than her afterlife, then Elisabeth will be returned to that life. The world's memory of her death will be stricken and only those closest to her will retain the memory."

"And what of the balance. Will my soul remain in the afterlife?" The Oracles nodded sadly.

"Yes, sweet Willow. However, it will not be the afterlife of your choosing. You will remain in the afterlife that Elisabeth has created, good or bad. It is where you will remain throughout eternity."

"I can deal with that. If it gets Buffy back, then I don't care what it costs me." Willow told them confidently.

"Do not be so quick to dismiss the price for what you've asked. It may not be what you expect." And with that, Willow found herself surrounded a blinding white light. She knew she was being sent on her journey so she concentrated on Buffy. Her smile, her laugh, the way just being around her made Willow feel. She grabbed on to that feeling, her love for Buffy and let it guide her where she needed to go. When the light faded, Willow discovered that she was in a familiar place, Sunnydale, and it was dark outside. `Oh, I don't like this. Buffy sent herself home and I don't think in a good way'. Willow looked around and saw the entrance to the North Cemetary. Dread started to swirl in the pit of Willow's stomach. `Why would Buffy send herself here?' As she further contemplated what Buffy must think of herself to believe she deserves to be stuck in Sunnydale for the rest of eternity, an ear splitting, and soul-shattering scream pierced the still night air.

"NO! WILLOW!" Willow took off running towards the direction of the voice, unsure of what scared her more: the fact that it was her name that was shouted in such a matter or the fact that she recognized the voice. `Buffy! Oh Goddess that scream came from Buffy!'

As she entered the cemetary she ran towards the sound of a fight. As she approached the clearing she promptly tripped over something soft in her way and fell to the ground in front of her. Willow spun around to see what had tripped her and nearly added her own scream to Buffy's earlier one. There on the ground behind her, staring at her with dead sightless eyes was herself with her throat torn out. She swallowed the bile that rose up and threatened to make her vomit at the ghastly scene. She scrambled to her feet, desperate to get away from her mirror image and find Buffy.

She found Buffy in the midst of a fierce battle with several vampires. Littering the ground around the area were the bodies of all their friends. Giles lay on his back a few feet away, an axe protruding from his chest; Xander was draped over Anya, apparently killed while trying to protect his girlfriend who was equally dead; Tara was dead as well and Dawn, Willow couldn't bear to look at what was left of Dawn. She was sure, even knowing that this was only an illusion, that she would have nightmares about the things she witnessed here for a long time. She watched as Buffy staked the last of the vamps and took in the devastation around her.

"Oh, God," Buffy wailed. "They're dead. All dead. I failed them all again!" Willow had never heard such a tormented and guilty tone come from Buffy before and she hoped never to hear it again. Buffy stalked around her friends' bodies while Willow stood in the bushes nearby. She saw as Buffy paused at her sister's body for a few minutes, apologizing and promising to do better next time. Buffy then reached the other Willow's limp body and cradled it in her arms, speaking softly and begging for forgiveness from it. Unable to watch Buffy torture herself anymore, Willow stepped out from the bushes and spoke gently to the distraught Slayer.

"It's not your fault, Buffy. This isn't real." Buffy's head shot up so fast Willow was afraid she'd given herself whiplash. Buffy's eyes widened as she looked at the Willow standing in front of her alive and well, and then she looked back at the lifeless shell in her arms. She repeated the action several times while Willow tried to avert her eyes from looking at her other self again. It was just too disturbing.

"Wha…?" Buffy finally managed to utter, breaking out of her stupor. She gently laid the body in her arms to the ground and rose to face the other one in front of her.

"This isn't real, Buffy. I've come to take you back to the `Real World', not the MTV show but to your real life. Everyone's waiting for you." Willow coaxed, hoping to get out of this bizarre reality as fast as she could. She watched as Buffy contemplated her words, first looking hopeful and then looking angry.

"Not real, Not Real, NOT REAL!" Buffy's voice rose as she spoke. She closed her eyes and clamped her hands over her ears as if that would block out the `ghost' from reaching her. "You're dead, Willow. I saw you die! Over and over again because I wasn't good enough, strong enough or powerful enough. I failed you. I failed everyone!" Tears streamed down her face as she ranted to Willow, who stood there, shocked. "I wasn't good enough to save you and now I've lost you!" Buffy turned and started to run away, heading towards her house. After shaking away the sudden paralysis, Willow took off after her and stormed through the door. She found Buffy crying uncontrollably on the floor. She approached the figure cautiously, not wanting to spook her into running again.

"Buffy? Buffy it's me. The real me. Please look at me," Willow pleaded, getting on her knees beside her friend. Buffy looked up through the veil of blonde hair and stared at the apparition next to her.

"Why should I look at you? Why should I talk to you? You're not real. Not really here. You're dead, no wait, I'M dead and this is my own personal Hell. Welcome, `Willow'," she spat the name out contemptuously, as if it was beneath her to say it. Willow stared right back, trying to see her friend, the woman she loved somewhere beneath the layers of pain.

"No Buffy, I AM real and I really am here," she tried to explain. Buffy suddenly jumped to her feet and laughed. But it wasn't the warm laugh Willow was familiar with. This one was cold, hollow and it sent chills up Willow's spine.

"HA! Yeah, right. Why the Hell would Willow, the REAL Willow be here? This is my Hell, not hers." She started to pace around the room like a caged animal. "No, you're not real. You're just another `thing' from this place that looks like her. You'll look like her, act like her, do everything, and say everything MY Will would do and then I'll think you really are her, and then you'll die again. And I'll have to watch again. Over and over like bad summer repeats. It never ends." Willow rose to her feet and stepped into the distraught Slayer's path.

"Stop Buffy, just stop. How can I make you understand that I'm real?" Buffy stopped and just glared at Willow, shaking her head.

"You can't because you're not. My Willow is hopefully alive and safe at home in Sunnydale. Although `safe' and Sunnydale don't exactly go together, but still she's not dead and stuck here in this torture with me."

"I am alive but I am here too. I came here to get you and bring you home," Willow explained calmly, taking another step closer. They were almost nose to nose. Buffy lowered her head and shook it from side to side.

"No," she whispered. "You can't be here. Please don't be here," she begged. At the end of options and not knowing what else to do, Willow did something Buffy would never expect. Something she knew the Willow here would never do. It was the only thing she could think of to distinguish herself as real. She reached up and held Buffy's face in her hands. After looking into the turbulent deep grey-blue pools, she leaned forward and lightly brushed her lips against Buffy's. She heard Buffy gasp at the intimate contact and then she released Buffy's face. Buffy had a look of both surprise and wonder.

"Do you believe I'm real now? Has the Willow you've seen here, over and over again ever done that before?" Willow asked softly. Buffy shook her head.

"No, but…but my Willow would never do that either. She doesn't feel that way," she said sadly. `If only you knew', Willow thought to herself. She then smiled, hearing the echo of an earlier conversation.

"Did you ever ask her?" Buffy frowned at the question.

"Huh?"

"Did you ever ask her how she felt about you? If the love was deeper than `friend-love'?" Willow asked, using the same words Tara had used with her. Buffy shook her head `no'. "Then how do you know? And how do you know I'm not real now?"

"Because…because…" Buffy looked intently into Willow's eyes, searching for the truth. "Oh, God, Willow, is it really you?" Willow nodded.

"Yes, Buffy. It's me and I've come to take you home." Buffy all but collapsed into Willow's awaiting arms in relief. They both stood there crying and holding one another for several minutes until Buffy pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"How, Willow? Why?" she questioned. Willow sighed. `Can't tell her I did it because I'm in love with her, it's not the right time.'

"The `how' is a little confusing. For now let's just say I asked a favor. As for `why', that's easy. Because you're needed, Buffy, by all of us who love you. And it wasn't your time." She explained patiently. She gave Buffy a bright smile and grabbed her hand. "Ready to go home now? I'm so very happy to see you; you have absolutely no idea how horrible it's been without you. Everyone's been missing you a lot. Plus, I don't know about you but I've had enough of this place and I only just got here. Let's get you home to everyone." Buffy let out a deep sigh.

"I can't go back, Will. I just can't," Buffy said sadly. Willow drew away surprised.

"But why?" Willow didn't understand. How could Buffy want to stay in this Hell, watching her loved ones die repeatedly because she failed them? `It doesn't make sense'.

"Because Will, because if I go back with you, back to the `Real World', then all of this," she waved her arms around to indicate the situation they were in. "All of this could really happen. I could lose everyone, I could lose you. But it would be for real next time."

"Buffy, you can't think that way. You don't belong here." Willow put her hands on Buffy's shoulders but Buffy shrugged her off.

"Yes, I do. I wouldn't be able to handle it if anything happened to you or Dawn or my friends. Losing my Mom was bad enough. I can't go through it again. At least here I know on some level that it isn't real, that I'll wake up tomorrow and have another chance to save you. I wouldn't have that if it happens for real."

"We all take that risk everyday, Buff. Even if we didn't have the crazy and unbelievable lives we have, anyone of us could walk out in front of a bus tomorrow and it would be over. It's something we all know and live with. If, Goddess forbid, something were to happen, the others would grieve, but then move on. It's life; it's that simple." Buffy shook her head.

"Then why are you here? If you're so ready to accept the death of anyone, Willow, why are you here to rescue me?" Willow turned away unable to look into the face of the woman she loved for fear that she'd see the real reason. The love that Willow harbored for her.

"Because this is different, Buffy. What happened to you wasn't right. You shouldn't have died." Buffy stepped closer.

"But I did die. It eventually happens to everyone so why make an exception for me? According to you, you're supposed to grieve and move on. Go ahead, Will, move on. Go home." Willow spun around wildly and grabbed Buffy.

"No! I will NOT leave you here! Uh-uh not gonna happen." Buffy shoved her away roughly. She didn't want to hurt her dear friend but all Buffy could think about was the grief and pain she'd feel if any of her friends, especially Willow were to really die. She couldn't go back and face that for real. It would ultimately destroy her.

"Go, Willow! I don't want you here and I won't go back with you. I won't watch you die for real because I'm not good enough!" Willow didn't move. Buffy charged at her angrily but Willow didn't budge. "GO! I don't want to look at you anymore!" she shoved Willow again, this time sending her sprawling ungracefully onto the couch. Willow sprang back up and shoved back, anger and hurt fueling the uncharacteristic behavior.

"Selfish! Selfish little bitch! Do you have ANY idea what I had to do, what we ALL had to do to get to you? How dare you be so selfish?" Tears streamed down the faces of both girls.

"I'm being selfish? I'M being selfish? YOU'RE the one who couldn't deal with me being dead. YOU'RE the one who came here to get me; I didn't ask you to now did I? Guess what, Willow? You wasted you're time because I'm not going back with you! I never want to see you again! You're the reason I'm here! I hate you!" Buffy screamed in rage. Before she knew what she was doing, Willow's hand shot out and slapped Buffy across the face, hard. The shocked look on Buffy's face was enough to make Willow wish she WERE dead.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. But you have no idea what you're talking about. You have to go back. Everyone needs you, Dawn needs you." Willow pleaded with the upset Slayer. Buffy's hand was still covering the cheek that Willow had slapped and she was simply staring at Willow in shock.

"You…you hit me," Buffy said unbelievably. Willow closed her eyes to try and block out the look on Buffy's face. Ultimate pain and ultimate betrayal were splashed across her features like paint on a canvas and it was killing Willow to know that she put that look there.

"I know and I'm so, so very sorry," Willow cried quietly. "But you wouldn't listen. I wanted you to know how much we need you alive and not just as the Slayer but as Buffy but you wouldn't listen. You went all Slayer-y on me and screamed at me and said hurtful things when all I wanted was to tell you how much you're loved." Willow rambled through her tears. She would never hurt Buffy, she'd rather die first but Buffy's words were so hurtful that something inside her broke and she couldn't stop herself from lashing out. She just had to make Buffy's hurtful words stop before they destroyed her.

"I hurt you, didn't I?" Buffy finally said, her voice much softer now. She looked at Willow and realized without really knowing how much Willow must have suffered and sacrificed to reach her. After all, she was dead, Willow wasn't. She realized that she couldn't stay here in her Hell when people like Willow were suffering and willing to sacrifice anything to get her back. She couldn't let her fear of what might happen stop her from taking this second chance. A second chance when she might finally get the courage to tell Willow how she really felt. Willow's head bobbed up and down in response to Buffy's question.

"Yeah," she sniffed, "a little. But I shouldn't have hit you. I'm so sorry, please don't hate me. I wouldn't be able to bear it…" Willow hung her head down low, unable to meet her friends' eyes. Buffy encircled the girl in a loving hug.

"I didn't mean it. I could never hate you, Willow. Ever." Willow looked up at Buffy hoping that she was hearing the truth. She saw only love and understanding in her familiar and badly missed eyes. "I'm just scared is all. Scared of what could happen."

"I understand but please, don't let that stop you from going back. Poor Dawny, Buff. She found out she was `the key', had a homicidal and psychotic goddess hunting her, lost her mother and then you. Please go back, at least for her. She's lost without you, all of us are." Buffy nodded finally and Willow let out the breath that she wasn't aware she was holding. Buffy slumped against her, suddenly exhausted.

"Can we go home now?" Buffy asked, her voice small and childlike. But Willow saw the hope in her friend's eyes. Before she could respond, Willow was blinded by the now familiar white light and found herself and Buffy in the Oracle's chamber.

"You have succeeded, magick child. You have done well. Elisabeth's life is restored and she may now continue her duties as the Slayer." Said the female Oracle. Willow looked over to Buffy who was now seated a few feet away half-asleep. Willow looked at the Oracles in unspoken question. They smiled.

"The trials her soul, as well as your own, have endured were very arduous. She will recover from her experiences here and with the beast you knew as Glory. The Powers That Be will grant her her life but they will not heal her of all her wounds. Elisabeth has much to learn about herself from this experience. It would serve no purpose to have her forget her suffering." Willow nodded.

"I understand," she looked back to the Oracles. "I have to say good-bye now, don't I?" she asked, resigned to her fate.

"Yes, young Wicca. The void must be filled and you offered your soul in place of hers."

"OK, can I have a minute to say what I need to?"

"Of course," the Oracles moved to the other side of the `room' to give Willow some privacy. She knew it was really a fruitless gesture since they were `all-knowing' but it showed that they respected her nonetheless. She walked over to Buffy and crouched down in front of her. She reached up and cupped Buffy's left cheek, the one she had slapped, in her hand.

"Hey you," she prompted gently. Buffy's eyes flickered open and focused drowsily on Willow's green ones.

"Hey, home now?" she asked weakly. Willow sighed.

"Afraid not, baby," she said not caring that the term of endearment slipped out. Besides, she figured Buffy was too tired to notice. "Not yet. But you're going to be there soon, I promise."

"You too?" Tiredness and pain caused Buffy to be reduced to simple replies. Willow couldn't help the tears that began to stream down her face as she said her last good-bye to the person she knew to be her soulmate.

"No, Buffy," she whispered, her voice getting caught on the lump in her throat. "I have to stay here for a while." Buffy's eyes flew open at the statement.

"No, Willow," she said with amazing strength. "If I go, you go."

"Oh, Buff, I can't. I have to stay here," she tried to explain.

"Why?" the Slayer whimpered. Willow was barely able to stifle the sob that threatened to escape her.

"Because I have to, Buffy. Look, it's a long uninteresting story. Just know that you're going home. Home to Dawn, and Giles and Xander and Anya. Home to everyone that loves you and needs you. And I will always be with you, Buffy. Nothing can change that." She leaned in closer so that their foreheads rested together. "Nothing," she finished with a breathless whisper.

"But there is no `home' without you," Buffy whispered back, her eyes closed to try and hold in the tears. Willow's entire being suddenly lit up from inside at Buffy's words. She wondered exactly what it was she was giving up. `Could Buffy have feelings for me? No, I'm just imagining things', Willow told herself. She wouldn't let herself believe otherwise because if she did, she was walking away from her true love. And that thought was unbearable.

"You'll never truly know what that means to me, Buffy. I have to go now but I need you to promise me something." She felt Buffy nod. "Promise me that you'll live your life to the fullest and never regret what's happened here. Promise me you'll take care of yourself and our friends. They need you. Can you do all that for me?" She felt Buffy nod again even as she watched tears drip off of Buffy's down turned face to mix with her own fallen tears. After placing a feather light kiss on Buffy's forehead, Willow reluctantly released her hold and walked back over to where the Oracles waited.

"Have you said what you needed to?" the female asked.

"Yes. I'm ready." Willow announced. The Oracles nodded.

"Willow Rosenberg, child of the Goddess Diana," they chanted together. "You have proven yourself most worthy of a gift greater than that which any mortal has ever received. Because of your efforts, your love for Elisabeth Summers, she has been released from death and granted another chance." Thunder began to fill the room as they continued.

"Because you are willing to sacrifice yourself in her place, as she did for her own sister, we and the Powers That Be grant you this request. However, a balance must be struck. Another soul must replace that of Elisabeth Summers." Willow braced herself for what was coming. She wasn't looking forward to spending eternity in Buffy's own private version of Hell but knowing that Buffy was all right would somehow make it tolerable for her.

Looking at Buffy who was sitting barely conscious and weak but alive a few feet away gave Willow strength as the roaring around her grew. She thought her ears were going to burst if it didn't stop soon. Suddenly the sound was broken by a crack and Willow collapsed to her knees as a white-hot pain flared through her left side. After a few seconds to regain the breath she'd lost, she pried open her clenched eyes and looked down to the source of the pain. There was a stain of blood slowly spreading down the side of her shirt. She gingerly lifted her shirt and saw a gash that started just below her breast and ended at her hip. It was roughly 6 inches long and deep but not fatal. It would definitely leave a scar. She looked back at the Oracles in shock.

"A reminder, young Rosenberg, of what you were willing to sacrifice."

"Huh?" `Oh, yeah, real articulate Rosenberg. Couldn't you have just babbled like a normal person? Oh never mind.' The Oracles smiled.

"You were willing to sacrifice everything you are, to a fate you knew would be most torturous and grueling. All for the love and life of one person. You did so with all the knowledge of what it entailed and the knowledge of what you would lose. Elisabeth would not be in your life but she would be in the lives of the others that hold her dear and she cares for in return. But you would not be there with her. You did this without hesitation, without fear or regret. It is the most sacred and loving a gift any being can bestow upon another. It is the ultimate sacrifice. In light of this willingness to give up everything dear to you, the Powers That Be have decided that that will be enough to balance the scales."

"So I can go home with Buffy?" She was almost afraid to hope.

"Yes. You are hereby granted your life as well as Elisabeth's. The mark on your side is near your heart, to signify your willingness to ignore your own heartache and pain to return that which was lost to others," the female Oracle approached Willow and stood directly in front of her. Willow found she was not afraid, the opposite actually. She felt safe and happy knowing everything was going to be all right.

"True self-sacrifice is a noble and rare thing to find, especially in a human. And the blood you spilled here is for the pain that is yours and yours alone. The wound will not kill you but its scar will serve as a souvenir of your love, sacrifice and determination. It also stands to remind you that this is your second chance and they are even rarer to come by than the self-sacrificing nature I mentioned. Each time you look at it, remember what happened here today and what Elisabeth truly means to you. You know in your soul that she is your soulmate. Do not let fear and anxiety rob you of that connection. If you do then all of your work and your sacrifice today will be for naught. We do not wish to see that."

"Thank you." The Oracles bowed their head and began to leave. Willow walked back over to Buffy and hauled the exhausted girl to her feet, ignoring the searing pain in her side.

"One more thing, daughter of Diana the Goddess," Willow turned to face the Oracles one last time. "Remember our words here because she will not. Only you will retain the true memory of all that transpired this day. Elisabeth will remember it all as if a dream. You will know that it was not. She will eventually remember her experience in her self-imposed Hell but not these moments here with us. She will need you, Wicca, not for your magick but for your love. See through your fear to the truth and you will both be strengthened by it."

"Thank you," Willow repeated.

"Do not thank us for what you yourself accomplished. We merely guided you. There are great things ahead of you in your future, sweet Willow, but only if you conquer your fear again as you did today. Do that and your possibilities are as boundless as your love for Elisabeth." And with that, they disappeared. Deciding she was too tired to ponder their words too deeply right now, Willow walked supporting Buffy to the portal where she promptly fell out.

And landed in a pair of strong arms. A warm, but slightly heavy body landed on top of her making the wound in her side scream in protest. Willow shifted her body until the pain lessened. She looked up into two very concerned and very familiar dark eyes.

"Willow?" Angel asked cautiously. She blinked a few times to reassure herself she was really seeing him and then nodded.

"Hi Angel, can you give me a hand here?" she gestured to Buffy's semi-conscious form.

"Oh God, Willow, you did it. You really did it!" Angel exclaimed, coming as close to tears as he ever did. He bent down and gently lifted Buffy off of Willow and took a good look at the shorter girl to reassure himself she was really alive. She immediately began to struggle against Angel, upset at being seperated from Willow. "Is she all right?" Lying on the ground catching her breath, Willow could only shrug.

"Yeah, I guess. The Oracles said she's be weak from her experiences both `there'," she pointed to the portal, "and her fight with Glory. Some bed rest and heavy duty therapy and I think we'll both be all right. How long have you been waiting?" Angel frowned as he continued to struggle with the disturbed Slayer.

"Ah, Willow, you just left a second ago." Willow's eyes grew wide in shock.

"Really? Felt like days." She pushed herself into a sitting position and then stood albiet a bit unsteadily. Angel watched this with concern.

"Time in different in there. Are you all right? Because, and I'm not trying to be morbid but, I smell blood." Willow waved him off.

"A scratch, Angel. We're both fine." Right about then Buffy's struggles began to increase.

"Willow," she murmured quietly, "where's my Willow?" She forced her eyes open and looked around wildly.

"Right here, angel," she looked up at Angel and blushed. "Erm…hehe…you didn't hear that." Angel shrugged in surprise. He really had nothing to say. Willow cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm right here, Buffy." Buffy smiled.

"Home safe?" `Ah, the days of Cave Slayer again' Willow thought to herself with a smile.

"Yes, Buffy. We're both home safe." Buffy reached out to Willow and Angel handed her over.

"Can you handle her, Willow?" She was sure that Angel undoubtedly knew how she felt about Buffy now so she didn't bother to try to hide it this time and reached out to lovingly stroke Buffy's face. She was just so happy to see her alive and whole.

"Yeah, hang on a sec." After taking a few moments to calm her thoughts, Willow chanted a small levitation spell that lifted Buffy into her arms without putting too much strain on her all ready tired arms or her wound. "I got her. Can we go back to the hotel now?" Angel turned around from where he was retrieving the now darkened crystals. There was no longer any color to them; they were dark and empty.

"Of course, Willow. I'll get the car." After Angel pulled up, Willow gently set Buffy down in the backseat but when she went to get in the front, she found Buffy had a grip on her that only the Slayer could manage. There was no way Willow was getting free without ripping her jacket.

"Willow," Buffy mumbled, "don't go. Don't leave me." Willow felt tears start to threaten again.

"I guess she's not ready to let you go anymore than you were her," Angel said softly, hoping to soothe Willow some. He knew how she felt about Buffy, it was written on her face and had been for some time.

"Guess not." Willow replied as she climbed into the backseat with Buffy settling down in her lap. Angel started to drive towards the hotel as Willow watched Buffy sleep. `I'll never leave you, Buffy. Even when I die I will never leave you,' she promised the girl in her arms. She settled back and let the drive lull her into a trancelike state. Angel gently shook Willow to wake her a little while later.

"We're here," he said simply. "Are you sure you've got her?"

"Yeah, besides, I don't think she's going to let anyone else get too close to her right now."

"I don't think so either. I'll get the door."

Inside the hotel the entire Scooby gang and the employees of Angel Investigations were waiting anxiously for any word. Willow and Angel had only left a little over an hour ago but the wait was unbearable. No one had anything to say. Even Cordelia and Anya were too nervous to speak. Dawn sat curled into a tiny ball in an armchair praying to anyone who'd listen that Willow and Angel would walk through that door with Buffy, alive and well and ready to yell at her for stealing her blue sweater. She was so engrossed in her praying that she jumped when the door finally did open and Angel appeared in it.

Everyone rose to their feet almost as one entity and looked at the vampire standing in the doorway. No one was able to speak, barely able to breathe for fear that he and Willow had failed and that Buffy was gone for good. Finally Giles broke the tension.

"Well?" he asked, his voice catching on the one small word. Angel looked at him and moved further into the door to reveal a slightly bedraggled Willow holding an unconscious but precious bundle in her arms.

"She did it, Giles," Angel finally said. "Willow brought her back." The room was silent for a few seconds more before it erupted in cheers, tears and hugs. Dawn headed straight to her sister. Angel stood in front of her and put his hand on Dawn's shoulder.

"She's a little people-shy right now, Dawn, so be careful. She's only letting Willow near her." Angel looked over Dawn's head and saw Giles' raised eyebrow. Angel shrugged in response. Dawn nodded and stepped closer.

"Is she going to be all right, Willow?"

"Yeah, Dawny. She just needs some rest and she'll be back to her old self in no time." Willow reassured the young teen. Buffy shifted a bit in Willow's arms and sleepily opened one eye to look at her sister.

"Dawn?" Dawn broke out into a huge smile, the first one since Buffy died and started to cry.

"Yes, Buff?"

"Don't cry, `m back. You OK?" Dawn nodded her head furiously.

"Great, terrific, fantastic now that you're back," she said earnestly. Buffy smiled.

"Good, sleep now." She told everyone and promptly passed out again.

"Dawn, I need to get her to a bed so she can rest. Can you help me with her?" Willow asked while trying not to wince as Buffy accidently brushed the cut on her side.

"Sure!" Dawn responded, more than happy to do anything to help and very grateful to have her sister back.

"Uhm, Willow," Giles started. Willow sighed.

"In the morning, Giles, please. Buffy's not the only one who needs to rest. I'll tell you everything in the morning." Giles stuttered in surprise.

"Yes, well…that's all good and well but I was going to say `Good job'. And that I'm proud of you. This was undoubtedly very difficult for you. Explainations can always wait, what's important is that you and Buffy have returned safely."

"Oh, sorry." Willow yawned. "Excuse me. Thank you Giles that means a lot. See you all in the morning." The group let her head upstairs without further interruption with Dawn in tow. After the three girls disappeared from view, Wesley turned to the assembled group.

"Yes, well, I think this calls for a celebration," he suggested. He was met with a resounding chorus of `Hell Yeah's' and the group sat down and relaxed for the first time since Buffy died, secure in the knowledge that she was alive and would recover. Life was good again for the Scooby Gang and all its gathered `cousins'.