Title: Ravens Flight

Author: Raven Morbisk

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: It’s my fiction, all mine. Persons, names, idea, plot... whatever, it’s mine. Oh... except the pieces of song lyrics. That’s ‘Lithium’ by Evanescence
Summary: One-piece. A depressed girl’s day.

Warning: Drug mentioning.

Feedback: whatever_who_cares@msn.com

Somehow the world darkened.

She couldn’t remember when she had last laughed without pretend. Nobody knew what had been going on in her mind the last few months. She had been pretending she was happy for her friends and family, knowing that if she showed that she was not alright her family and friends would do anything possible to help her, make her talk about it. It wasn’t that she never appreciated everything they had done for her and what they would do, she just didn’t want it. She wanted everyone to be happy, not worried about her.

She was lying on her bed in her room, staring at the ceiling while listening to music. It soothed her mind; she would sing along in her head and not think about anything else. Drums, guitars and a piano invaded her mind as a female voice sang words of confusion and sadness. She could relate to the song, somehow.

“Don't want to let it lay me down this time, drown my will to fly. Here in the darkness I know myself, can’t break free ‘til I let it go.” She sang aloud. She didn’t have to worry about anyone hearing her sing; her music was too loud to hear anyone.

When her cellphone vibrated she turned down the volume and answered it. The conversation was short and one-sided. She put away her cellphone and sighed before turning her stereo off. She sat up in her bed and checked if she had any messages on her phone. Seeing she had nothing new she stepped out of her bed and straightened herself before exiting her room.

“Hi, Raven. Nice to see you in a quieter environment.” An older woman said with a smile when Raven entered the dining room.

“Hi, Aunt Rita.” Raven said cheery and circled the table to give her aunt a kiss on the cheek.

“Your mom’s out doing groceries and your brother is upstairs getting things to show me.” Rita said, she always thought of Raven as a quiet and easy person.

“I know, mom just called and asked me to set the table.” Raven smiled friendly and replaced the used ashtray with a clean one.

“Who was that you were listening to? Sounds like depressing music.” Rita tried to start a conversation, knowing it was a lost cause but was still willing to try.

“Evanescence, a great band but not a lot of people like that kind of music.” Raven shrugged and took some plates from the cupboard.

“Are you going out tonight?” Rita tried again.

“Maybe, probably.” Raven’s light green eyes twinkled for a moment at the mentioning of going out. She loved going out, it was the only thing that kept her going. She finished setting the table just as her little brother entered the dining room with some PlayStation games in his arms.

“Dev, make sure those are back upstairs when dinner’s ready.” Raven commented and went back upstairs.

She entered her room and took the remote control of her stereo, keeping the volume low enough to hear her mother calling for her. She threw herself back on her bed and closed her eyes.

Hours later she entered her favorite club with several of her friends. The bartenders all nodded their hellos and regulars moved out of the way to make place for the dark-haired girl. She immediately went to the dance floor and started dancing with a new victim, a new girl. She had dark blonde hair and beautiful green eyes. It didn’t take long before she was offered some Black Beauties. Never a girl to turn down free pep pills she accepted and washed them down with a glass of vodka. The girl she had found earlier was getting more and more self-confident. Raven smirked when the blonde finally found the courage to put her hand on her behind as they moved together with the music. The black-haired beauty leaned in and kissed the blonde, beginning slow then let the blonde take the lead as she felt her companion for the moment grow more and more confident.

“Wanna take this more private?” Raven asked the blonde when the kiss ended. The girl mutely nodded and followed her to the back. The blonde was about to ask where they were going when Raven shot her a dazzling smile that made the blonde forget about the world.

“What’s your name?” The blonde finally asked, having caught her breath after spending two delicious hours with the black-haired beauty. Raven sighed and got out of the bed they laid in. She knew the owners of the club well, hell, she was practically their daughter. She would’ve been their daughter-in-law in two years if…

“That’s not important.” She got up and got dressed “Stay or go, do whatever you want but be sure to get out of here by noon.” With that she left the blonde in the only room with a bed, in the back of a club.

Raven went in search for her friends and found them having a drinking contest. She was too buzzed from the pills to compete but not wanting to have her friends feel like she abandoned them she stayed and cheered them on.

It was nearing dawn when her last friend decided to call it a night. Raven smiled sympathetically, not feeling any tiredness but willing to walk her last friend home.

After Raven had walked her friend home she started wandering around when she saw a bridge. She broke her head over wondering if she should take this bridge, she hated this bridge. She shrugged and decided to walk over it. The higher the bridge got, the more clouded her mind got. When she was in the middle of the bridge she looked down at the cars.

She leaned forward, trying to get as low as possible then pulled back. After doing this a couple of times she decided to take it a little further. She swung her leg over the railing and looked as far down as she could. Then she swung her other leg over and turned around so her back was against the railing.

Her thoughts kept going back to six months ago. The last time she saw her, the last time she kissed her, the last time she made love to her. Life can be cruel sometimes, losing the love of your life was the cruelest, at least it was to Raven. No one saw it coming, Raven never saw it coming. She thought they were happy; they were making plans for the future. Raven chuckled bitterly at her lack of tears even though she was on the verge of wanting to cry. She hated crying, she didn’t cry at the funeral, and she didn’t cry at the reception after either. She only cried when she was alone and hadn’t popped any pills or smoked weed, or snorted a line.

“One moment we’re alive and the next we’re dead. I wanna chose when I go.” She whispered as the sun was rising “Those were your words, baby. And you did choose, too soon, way too soon.” She took a deep breath and fought hard against her legs that still felt like dancing. “Our bridge, forever.”

She closed her eyes and started humming a song. The same song she had been listening for days in her room. As she reached the end of the song she opened her eyes and softly whispered.

“I’m gonna let it go.”