Sway - Buffy

Title: Sway - Buffy

Author: Panda

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Pairing: Buffy / Willow

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimers: Everything good belongs to someone else. The Buffyverse belongs to Joss Whedon etc. The song ‘Sway’ belongs to Bic Runga and her record company. I own nothing and I make no profit from playing with the characters and ideas.

Author’s notes: This story is a songfic inspired by the song ‘Sway’ by the talented Bic Runga. Set in Season 4 after Willow’s break-up with Oz but there is no relationship between Buffy/Reilly or Willow/Tara. ‘Sway – Willow’ is a companion piece, the same story told from Willow’s point of view.

Part 1

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

Buffy listened to the words of the song as she watched her friends dancing. She bit her lip and tried not to focus on her best friend as the last words of the song played over and over in her head ‘It’s all because of you’. Willow looked so cute dancing with Oz. Her head was on his shoulder and she looked completely peaceful. Even though the music continued Oz stopped dancing and stepped away from Willow who continued to watch him with a dreamy expression on her face. Slowly Oz turned and looked at Buffy and grinned wolfishly. He turned back to Willow and suddenly it wasn’t Oz but the Oz-wolf. Buffy gasped and reached for the tranq gun she had handy on the table in front of her. Everyone else on the dance floor seemed oblivious, including Willow. Buffy tried to speak but found that she couldn’t. Frustrated she groped for the gun that seemed to be both directly in front of her but also just out of reach. All Buffy could do was watch the Oz-wolf prowl, growling menacingly, around Willow. Suddenly the gun was lifted off the table and held towards her by a familiar figure.

“Angel, thank God” Buffy found her voice “Quick, we have to stop Oz!”

“Buff, come on” Angel’s voice teased as he jerked the gun out of Buffy’s reach again “I don’t want to miss this. I couldn’t break you but I’m sure seeing your little girl friend eviscerated by her lover will.”

Buffy realised that rather than Angel this was Angelus.

“No” Buffy tried to get up from the table but found she was powerless to move.

A scream from the dance floor which no-one else seemed to hear made her look towards Willow who was now on the floor frantically trying to fend off the Oz-wolf.

“Buffy, help me! Please, Buffy, please!”

Willow had only enough time to plead once before the Oz-wolf managed to rip his claws through Willow’s shirt into her stomach.

“No!” Buffy heard herself scream as finally she was allowed to move.

As if in slow motion she pushed herself off the chair and moved through the still dancing couples toward her friend, all the time hearing Angelus laughing behind her.

Don’t stray
Don’t ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don’t let me drown
Let me down
I say it’s all because of you

I open my eyes and fling myself across the room towards Willow’s bed. It was empty, bed clothes flung back.

“Willow?” I moan “Will, where are you?”

“Buffy? What’s wrong?” comes the familiar voice from the doorway.

I force myself to be calm and look at her, fresh from the shower, smelling of her strawberry shampoo. She’s ok, my Willow is safe, she’s ok, it was just a dream.

“Sorry” I mumble, beginning to feel embarrassed at my display of panic, so not slayer cool “Bad dream, you know, not properly awake yet…”

Liar, I am such a liar. We’ve woken up together often enough for Willow to know that I am instant awareness girl the second I regain consciousness. Yay, slayer skills.

“Oh, like a slayer bad dream” she asks as her eyes widen “About me?”

I hear a note of panic begin to creep into her voice:

“Am I in danger, Buffy? You would tell me, right? So we could, like, prepare and you would protect me…and we have to tell the others, was Xander in the dream too, or Giles… we have to research it, you should write it down before you forget because details can be really important in dreams, you know…”

“Will” I cut off the babble, despite its cuteness, before she manages to get into full-blown panic mode “Relax, Willow, just a standard Buffy dream of the non-prophecy variety.”

I mentally cross everything and try to think of something flip to say, to put her off the track of my worry.

“Oh. Ok.” Willow seems almost put out by this. “Just, you know, walking in seeing you like that…”

Like what, like I’m totally having a wiggins because you aren’t in your bed, even though it’s a school day and I know you have an early class.

“Really, it’s nothing.”

“So, what was the dream about?” she asks curiously.

Well, in it you were eaten by your cheating ex-boyfriend werewolf right in front of me while I sat unable to help you being taunted about being in love with you by the demon that is the worse half of my multiple-personality-guy-undead-ex. That’ll help – not.

“You know, dream stuff.” I rack my brains “We were patrolling, there was fog” I improvise wildly “You wander off, I’m looking for you, hence the wondering where you are.”

That seems to satisfy her, as she finally advances into the room and begins to put her shower stuff away. I sit on her bed, it being the nearest, and try for a casual change in the topic of conversation.

“Any thing interesting planned for today?”

And here I go
Loosing my control
I’m practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn’t seem right to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed its time to tell you why
Say it’s infinitely true

I am still thinking about the dream later that day when I have finished classes. Rather than go back to the dorm I head for a shady spot under a tree in the quad and wonder what it means. Ok, so not really that much of a mystery. When Oz left part of me wanted to kill him for hurting Willow but the other part of me wanted to send him a thank-you gift. I had always had a thing for Willow, for a while I had thought it was just yay-I-have-a-best-friend feelings but eventually I had realised that although I loved Xander just as much as Willow he didn’t make me feel those fluttery tummy I’m-going-to-see-Willow-today feelings. It wasn’t until after I saw Willow hanging from Angelus’ hand in the corridor at school that I wondered if it was something more. I mean Angelus had been in no doubt and had made sure that I know all his thoughts on the subject. It was only after I saw Willow lying in that hospital bed that I had the strength to finish him - reinsouled or not. Willow was the reason that I ran away to LA, and the reason that I came back. Last year seems so confused when I try to make sense of it – Angel came back but we both knew that it wasn’t the same, and not just because of the curse. Willow cheating on Oz with Xander! I was so jealous of him. And then there was Faith. Gorgeous, in a tight-clothes-wearing sort of way, Faith. She ended up nearly dead because I wanted to save Angel but not because of what everyone thought. Yes, I didn’t want Angel to die but I also didn’t want Faith to die. I mean, hello, Angel drank from me and I’m still here. Faith could have been rehabilitated somehow and then there would have been someone else who really understood about being the slayer.

But always Willow, smiling at me, comforting me when I felt bad, making sure I graduated, looking so cute when she would worry over her computer screen or one of Giles’ books. I told her last year, how I feel about her. Well, tried to tell her. I was sure that she would leave, I mean with all the scholarships and stuff she could have gone to school anywhere but for some reason no, she pulled out resolve face and told me she would go to school here with me. I just said it “I kinda love you” and then to cover myself resorted to slayer behaviour and tackled her into a hug. Suave much. Maybe it’s me, I was thinking. Maybe she wants to stay so she can be here with me because she loves me like I love her, maybe, maybe, maybe not. I want to tell her, tell her properly. But I can’t. Too scared. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, defeater of demons, blower-up of schools – well one school –too frightened to tell my best friend the truth about how I feel about her. What if I just put it all out there, Willow I want to tell…

“Hey” interrupts my thoughts and there she is.

“Hey, Will. What’s up?” I ask as I look up at her, the sun making a kind of halo behind her hair.

Whoa there, Buffy, rein in.

“Giles called. Scooby stuff, wants us to head over there.”

“Monsterific” I quip.

What I really want to do is stay here under the tree, with Willow lying in my lap, running my fingers through her hair and telling her how amazing she was. Suddenly I realise that she is saying something and I’m so not there.

“Huh, what”

“…about the campus Wicca meeting I went to today. Buffy, were you even listening to me?”

“Of course” I fudge “Um, so spells with the girls, huh.”

“Buffy!” she scolds “More like no spells with the girls. Bunch of wanna-blessed-be’s. “

She is so cute when she’s frustrated. I finally get up and try to comfort her. Yeah this is all for her.

“Don’t worry, Will” I say as I sling my arm around her shoulders “Maybe there are some of them who feel the same as you, but were too shy or something to speak up.”

Like me, I think, too shy to speak up.

Part 2

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

Xander and his new girlfriend, ex-demon Anya are already there when we arrive. Xander is wrinkling his face in disgust as he reads something out of the paper.

“‘Although the triple homicide is horrific the Mayor’s office has released a statement denying that there is a homicidal manic at work in the Sunnydale area. Despite this denial the Sunnydale police department warns residents to be cautious and assured residents that they are following leads.’ Same old Sunnyhell. I’m not sure why they felt we needed a blow by blow of the bodies.”

“Well, it is helpful. To our investigations, I mean” Giles looked up from the table where he had his nose in a book, as usual. “We can use the modus operandi of the killer to identify the perpetrator, which will allow us to eliminate it in the most effective manner.”

“English, Giles.” I tease.

He glances towards me and purses his lips before speaking:

“Match the killing technique to the demon type.”

“For easier slayage” I say leaning on the counter “And by ‘us’ you mean ‘me’.”

“And there’s the artistry to appreciate” Anya pipes up from beside Xander on the couch.

“The what?” Willow squeaks, turning a little pale, as we all turn to gaze in horror at Anya.

“What!” Anya looks genuinely surprised at our reactions “Hello, a thousand years of maiming and destruction. I can appreciate a good evisceration as much as the next demon. And I know artistry when I see it.”

Inappropriate much. I just don’t get what Xander sees in her. I glance at Willow to check if she is ok and oh my God, in the dream, Angelus he said something about me watching Willow being eviscerated.

“The victims were evisc…” I begin but can’t say it as a memory of the dream flashes before my eyes.

“Yes, eviscerated.” Giles continues my sentence.

Why does everyone keep saying that word when all I can think of is Willow lying on the floor of the Bronze and I can’t go to her…

“Buffy?”

Willow. I am so busted.

“Buffy, your dream.”

Shut up, Will.

“You had a dream?” Giles asks, and everyone is listening now, even Xander and Anya have stopped bickering, and they are all waiting for me to explain. But before I can say something, anything to put them off the dream track Willow spills:

“When I came in from the shower this morning Buffy was all flustered about a dream she had about me.”

There is a slapping sound from the couch and Xander’s voice raised in injured innocence:

“What, I couldn’t help…”

“Xander, Anya, now is hardly the time…”

“But he had that look, that look he gets when he thinks about other girls!”

The distraction is enough and I try to pull it together.

“Not that sort of dream” I say scathingly, well not that sort of dream this time. “I don’t think it was one of the prophecy type...” I try to continue but Willow interrupts:

“You were pretty worried about it. You were looking at my bed like you thought I was lost or kidnapped or something just because I wasn’t there…oh Buffy, it wasn’t the ‘or something’ was it because I really don’t want to be ‘or something’.”

She looks totally panicked and I want to reassure her but I leave it a beat too long and she is looking at me, eyes all wide, Willow is looking at me and I can’t say anything because I am ashamed that in my dreams I can’t save her. Giles finally breaks the silence.

“Buffy, I think you should tell us about your dream.”

I don’t want to, I really don’t want to and not just because I don’t want to relive it. I don’t want to upset Willow by mentioning Oz-wolf killing her, which after all he did try to do, and I definitely don’t want to tell her what Angelus said. And I don’t want Willow to know that I didn’t exactly tell her the whole truth this morning. Now everyone is waiting for me to begin and I look at Willow who is watching me intently still looking wigged.

Willow looks even more upset by the time I’m finished. The only thing I left out was the ‘girlfriend’ part.

“And this took place at the Bronze?” Giles is taking detailed notes. “What was the music?”

I shrug, I honestly don’t know.

“Um, woman singer, not rocky, ballad maybe? I really didn’t pay that much attention to the soundtrack, Giles. I was more concerned with the plot.”

“Hmm, Oz and Angelus. Willow, have you had any contact with Oz since…”

“No.”

“Maybe it isn’t a sign of things to come.” I begin, wanting to reassure Willow and myself “I mean it wasn’t all vivid and stuff like my other slayer dream” Yeah, that sounds convincing - not.

“And, I mean I dream about Will all the time and those dreams don’t come true…” I trail off realising that Xander is staring at me.

That sounded much less gay in my head.

“Like the other night I dreamed we were in the library researching stuff for Giles…” and we started having sex on the table “…and that can’t happen because library go boom.”

Well, it was a real dream, so what if it was only the start of the dream, it was still true. Maybe this isn’t helping.

“You dream about me?” Willow looks up from her chair and I command myself not to blush.

She’s looking at me curiously. Oh no, what if I make noises in my sleep and she has heard me and now she knows that I have erotic dreams about her. Why can’t I just keep my big unhelpful mouth shut. I decide to just nod. Sometimes I wish I could here Willow’s thoughts, like that time with the whole aspect-of-the-demon thing. Not that that helped me much then, what with the going insane thing, but sometimes it almost seems as if Willow might have feelings for me, from the way she says things, or the occasional expression when she thinks I’m not looking at her. Like now. But it’s probably just wishful thinking or projection or something. I know that Willow tells me stuff she doesn’t tell other people, but I want to know the other stuff, the stuff she doesn’t tell me, I want to know everything about her. I want…

“Hey, I found something!” Anya excitedly announces, flourishing the book she has been reading. “I thought I recognised the style. Quite distinctive, really. And look, no werewolf in sight, so no ex-boyfriend trying to kill you!”

She is beaming and waving the book around, narrowly missing Xander’s head.

“What is it?” Willow asks quickly, probably not wanting to believe her until she sees it herself.

I get to the couch first and grab the book.

“Buffy, there’s no need to snatch!” Anya pouts.

I ignore her and scan the page she was indicating. It’s in that old fashioned type that so many of Giles’ books are in, impossible to read. I pass the book to Giles. He rides it slowly, his face creasing into a frown.

“C’mon Giles, what gives?” I really need to know so I can go out and kill it.

“It’s the Vernoth Triad” announces Anya importantly.

“Ohh, like the demon mafia, chop socky style” Xander mimes karate moves knocking over a lamp in his enthusiasm “Oops, sorry G-man.”

But Giles is too absorbed in the book to notice.

“Xander!” Anya is shaking her head in disbelief “Don’t you people know anything? The demon mafia is run by the She’ath clan, at least here in the US it is. I’m not sure about Asia. The last I heard there was a turf war going on between…”

“Anya” Willow interjects “The Vernoth Triad?”

“It’s important to keep up with news. You never know when you might need to know who to sacrifice to.” Anya sounded almost pompous “You know I nearly didn’t come here when I realised that Sunnydale was where Mayor Wilkinson was in charge. I just thought it would be an in and out job…”

“Giles” I cut across Anya’s reminisces “What up with the Vermouth demons?”

Giles looks up and he is still frowning. That can’t be good. I can’t look at Willow so I stare at Giles instead.

“Xander, where is that newspaper?” Giles asks “Does it mention who the victims of the attacks were?”

“Yeah I think…” Xander reaches under the books on the coffee table and pulls out the newspaper.

“Um, Sarah Owens, Jill Williams and Natasha DeGroot. All students at UC Sunnydale, look they have pictures.”

Xander holds out the paper to Giles.

“I don’t think we need to see pictures…” Giles begins.

“No, I mean pictures of the before variety.”

Giles takes the paper and spreads it on the table. I move behind Willow’s chair and the two of us lean over to see the pictures. They are just girls, ordinary college girls like we see in every class. I step back.

“Giles, what about the demons?” I ask again.

“I know her” Willow says suddenly, so quietly that I almost don’t here her.

“From your Wicca group?” Giles asks.

“Yeah, how did you know?” Willow asks, puzzled.

I’m sure she is crinkling her forehead in that adorable way of hers.

“The Vernoth sacrifice witches.” Anya contributes “When they need power to do what ever their plan is they use magical users as the source.”

I feel a chill run through me.

“Like Wiccan energiser bunnies?” Xander asks.

Anya looks uncomfortable and cuddles closer to him on the couch. I’m too preoccupied to ponder Anya’s weird bunny phobia.

“The Hellmouth?” I ask, knowing that I am right.

I mean why else do demons come to Sunnydale?

“Yes, to put it simply the Vernoth came here to open the Hellmouth. However, fortunately for us something has gone wrong with their plan.” Giles pauses “The Hellmouth should be open if they have performed the ritual correctly.”

“Lucky for us they’re slacker demons who failed their research badges.” Xander tries to lighten the atmosphere.

“How do you know?” Willow asks.

“The ritual is set down in some detail.” Giles picks up the book again “It seems that 3 is their mystic number. There are 3 of them, hence being known as the Vernoth Triad. They’ve sacrificed 3 witches, and assuming they performed the associated rituals correctly they should have raised enough power to open the Hellmouth.”

Part 3

And there’s no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everything’s turned inside out
It’s still in so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweets in every afternoon

“So we need to find these guys and kill them before they kill anyone else”

I state, already moving toward Giles’ weapons chest.

Before they kill Willow is what I’m thinking. It’s not going to be like the dream, I will save her, just like I have before and I will do again. Willow is the most important person in my life and no demons named after a cocktail ingredient are going to hurt her.

“Giles, we need to protect Willow” I see her open her mouth to protest but I rush on “She could be a target.”

“Buffy…”

She is not going to argue with me.

“Willow, this must be what the dream means.” I justify myself.

“But you don’t think that the dream means anything, you spent like 5 minutes babbling about how you dream about me all the time to prove that.”

“Yeah, well I’m not going to take a chance that I’m wrong. Anyway we know that witches are a target and you’re a witch so that’s all I need to know.”

I’m trying to be all tough slayer, stern, bossy and take-charge, when what I feel like is I will beg her on my knees to stay safe if that is what it takes.

“You guys stay here with Willow. I’m going to track them down. I can kill them the regular way, right?” I ask Giles as I start to rummage in the chest for my favourite axe.

“Behead them” Anya answers for him “You need to chop their heads off. What? I read it in the book.”

“Thanks, Anya” I reply strapping a sword across my back.

I leave quickly in an effort to forestall any more arguments.

“Buffy, wait”

I’m halfway across the court yard when Willow catches up with me.

“Will, it’s…” I begin but she cuts interrupts me.

“I know, it’s just…” she trails off.

“I know” I reply even though I have no idea what she means.

“Come back to me, Buffy” she says quickly and turns back to the apartment.

Don’t I always?

My clever slayer plan of ‘find the demons kill the demons’ turns out to be a total bust. There is no sign of them at the old school, and the Hellmouth seems quiet. The only sign that they had even been there were the designs arranged on the floor, obviously from the ritual. Well, gross. Another reason to slay them, I guess. I patrol around the campus but there was nothing unusual. I am just getting bored and frustrated when a vamp jumps me which took the edge off my nerves and makes me feel a little better. Maybe I jumped the gun with the ‘running off to kill’ plan. If I had waited maybe we could have figured out why the ritual failed. Ok maybe Giles and Willow could have figured it out and I could have paced frustrated around being antsy and annoying everyone. I know my place in the group. I arrive just in time to run into Xander, literally.

“Buffy, thank God. I was just coming to look for you” he gabbles out.

“Xand, what’s up?” I ask, suddenly noticing the bruise on his head “Is everyone ok? Is Willow…”

But before he can answer I’m already pushing past him into the apartment. Furniture is overturned and broken, Anya is sitting on the floor holding a cloth to her head and there is blood trickling down her face, Giles is crouching in front of her preparing to clean the wound. His glasses are missing and he is breathing shallowly, like he is in pain. Where’s Willow, maybe in the bath room.

“She’s gone. They took her. I’m sorry Buff…”

“Who?”

Why is it hard to breath? Willow, where are you?

“The Vernoth guys. Buffy, there were 2 of them, there was nothing we could do. We tried.”

How, why? How did they know Willow was here?

“Buffy?”

Just like the dream. Why am I waiting here?

“Xand, you feel up to it?”

“Sure” he’s already grabbing a sword from the wreckage.

“Giles?” I ask, despite already knowing from the way he’s moving what the answer will be.

“Buffy, I think…” he starts to say.

“It’s ok, take Anya to the hospital.”

He nods and I am already halfway out the door. Why are we wasting time? Why am I wasting time? I set the pace back towards the destroyed school and Xander has a hard time keeping up. I’m not even going fast and he’s trailing behind already.

“I’ll meet you there” I call to him and start to speed up.

He tries to keep up for a second and then slows to a pace where he is comfortable. I don’t have time to wait for him. Willow, I have to get to Willow before anything happens. I try not to think about what might happen. I hope that the demons are taking their captives to the Hellmouth alive. Last time they only took the parts they needed. It feels like an hour but I know that it is only a few minutes. I have done the walk between Giles apartment and school enough times to know that running at slayer speed it won’t take long.

I walk towards the library. Here memories of Willow are strong. Seeing her by the water fountain for the first time, walking to class, hanging in the student lounge between class, Angelus trying to kill her, Spike trying to kill us all, Willow hacking into the coroners office, Willow…I have to stop this. Concentrate, Summers. Screw this up and …well you just can’t screw this up. I try doing a calming breathing exercise and it seems to work. I can hear chanting from the library which is quite close now. I pause outside the door and peek through a gap in the door. Willow and one other young woman are tied together off to one side. The demons seem to have cleaned the floor off and are now kneeling around the Hellmouth chanting and …a shudder goes through me and I silently apologise to the third girl for being too late. I heft my axe and kick the door in.

Fighting is always a blur. There is no time to think in advance about what you can do or how you will do it. I kick and punch and swing my axe and duck and weave. This is what being the slayer is about. This is why I was created. It’s like a dance: me and them moving to an unheard melody. Slowly the world returns to normal speed and I realise that now there is just me and a lot of blood and body parts. Later there may be pain, but now with the adrenalin flowing I feel like I could take on 3 more of them. A noise at the door makes me turn and I have just enough control to stop myself throwing my sword at Xander as he arrives panting. He leans against a wall and says, between breaths:

“Seems like I missed the party.”

“I was too late for one of them” I say sorrowfully and turn toward Willow.

Now it all turns sour
Come sweets in every afternoon
It’s time to tell you why
I say it’s infinitely true

“Buffy” her voice is scratchy, as if she has been crying and I realise she probably has.

“It’s ok, Will” I reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear “Sorry I didn’t get here faster.”

I bend down and cut the ropes that are tying Willow and the other girl together. Xander has come over and supports the other girl who seems to have fainted. Willow leans into me and I put my arms around her to support her.

“Buffy, I was so scared” she breathes in my ear.

“Me too” I confess “I was so scared that I would be too late, that I couldn’t protect you. God, Will, if anything ever happened to you…”

I can’t go on, I want to say it, want to tell her how much she means to me, that she is my life, my love, my everything. Instead I pull away enough so that I can see her face. She has stopped crying but I can see the tracks of her tear down her cheeks. Her eyes are bright, wide and questioning. I reach one hand up and stroke her hair. Then I take all my courage in my hands, do the hardest thing I have ever done and, putting all my feelings into my action I kiss her. And she kisses me back, my Willow kisses me back.

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

Sway By Bic Runga

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
Now it all turns sour
Come sweets in every afternoon
It’s time to tell you why
I say it’s infinitely true

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you