EX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE

OK, episode 11 has arrived. And, finally, after being gone for several eps and after not being there at the time it was supposed to be there, the musical arrives at long last. But more on that later. First, to the opening scene!

Scene starts with shots of Brooke, Nicole, Mary Cherry and Popita practising their cheerleading routine. Someone, however, is late for practise since the practising shots are mixed up with shots of someone putting on her cheerleading uniform. Oh my. Who could it be? Who!? The suspension is killing me!!
Not.
So, anyway, Carmen is in the Novak, putting on her cheerleading outfit and telling Sam and Lily about how happy she is that she's a cheerleader and that this new calling won't change their friendship and so on and so forth. Sam and Lily smile and nod supportively at her, but as soon as the brunette cheerleader is gone (after saying that she's GOING to be late if she stays any longer) Sam and Lily's supportive smiles disappear off the face of the Earth.
Carmen is now a cheerleader.
They have probably just lost a friend.

We're in some house somewhere. Because, at first, we only see picture of football players we don't know which house, but when Josh' picture shows up at the end of the line, we know. We're in Josh' house and the pictures were just being looked at by Josh' mom, Jean. Josh enters and starts breakfast. He and his mom talk for a while. Jean wants to know if Josh has already told his dad that he's starring in the musical, which is going to be this Friday. Josh hasn't told him and he's not planning to. Then Josh' dad enters the stage. His name is James, by the way. Anyway, he sits down at the table for some breakfast and informs the viewers that come this Friday there will be a recruitment dinner (whatever that may be) for Michigan, the college James went to and also the college where he wants Josh to go to. Jean silently urges Josh to finally tell his dad that he's still in the musical. Josh isn't able to work up the guts, however, so he makes up some excuse about how he's still a sophomore and that all this college talk is still a little too soon. James, however, doesn't think this is a good excuse, so Josh will still have to come with him to the dinner.

In one of the many hallways of Kennedy High, Carmen and Sam talk a little. Carmen tells Sam that there is one really, really great thing about cheerleading. And it isn't just the fact that she going to Prague in Cherry Cherry's personal jet soon. No, it's the fact that cheerleading is a natural self-esteem enhancer for the girl.
April Tuna enters and informs Sam that she has to go to Principal Hall's office ASAP. Sam leaves, leaving Carmen alone with April. April, meanwhile, has developed a major crush on Carmen and seriously freaks the brunette out with her awkward attempts at making conversation with the girl.

In Cecilia Hall's office, Sam is introduced to a Jamie Gunn. This Jamie is a smooth dresser, fast talker and overall career girl who cares for little else than her own personal success. She is one of the producers of "Enterteenment Today" and was quite impressed by the documentary made by Sam in the very first episode. Jamie therefore wants Sam on her team, producing a ten-minute item for the show. When Brooke enters soon after it becomes clear that, although Sam will be producing, it'll be Brooke doing the actual interviewing. Jamie was, after all, totally blown away by Brooke's quoteunquote "presence" in Sam's documentary. Sam is not so pleased with this.

Sam is now watching said documentary. And, more importantly, she watching that one shot where Brooke says that she doesn't like her popular label and would very much like another label. A not-so-subtle hint from the writers here. But then, subtlety has not always been their very strongest point. Anyway, Sam is so not happy about having to work in such close quarters with Brooke, but Harrison (who's also there, by the way) convinces Sam that when it comes to TV-making and journalism and stuff, personal feelings will have to be set aside.

In the school cafeteria, Brooke is being very nervous about her shot at actual on-screen TV time. Popita, Mary Cherry and Nicole all try to do the supportive thing. Nicole then "accidentally" lets it slip that maybe this nervousness of Brooke has been caused by the career test she had last week. According to that test, Brooke is best suited for being a rodeo clown. Mary Cherry, however, assures Brooke that those tests are totally bogus. After all, she took the exact same test and it said that Mary Cherry would be best suited for being a serial killer. Mary Cherry laughs it off. Everyone else looks worried. And with good cause, too.

In the Kennedy High locker room, Sugar Daddy tells Josh that he's an idiot for still mot having told his dad. Josh, however, is worried that his dad will freak when he hears the news. He really needs someone to talk to right now. Provided that that someone is Brooke. Anyway, SD tells Josh that, since the jock is doing great at school, his dad will probably be pretty understanding about the whole thing. Josh isn't so sure about this.

It's after school and Lily is waiting for her mom to pick her up. She's tired of waiting, however, and wants a driver's license. Carmen (who is also there) tells Lily that it's not a problem and that they'll just go pick up their licenses on Thursday.
I take it that the minimal requirements for a driver's license in America do not include at least twenty-five lessons of driving around in a crowded city, while navigating tricky crossroads and traffic-filled roundabouts.
Then, April Tuna shows up, carrying a huge Carmen poster and asking for Carmen's autograph. Carmen gives the autograph and is informed that April got the poster at the official Carmen website. After the autograph has been given, April leaves again. Lily tells Carmen to not let all the fame go to her head. Carmen laughs the whole idea off, while looking like all the fame is beginning to go to her head.

Jamie, Brooke and Sam are in some classroom and Jamie wants to hear some ideas. Sam, of course, starts talking about how the economy is soaring and the level of technology is at an all-time high. However, even though we're living in a Golden Age, there are hundreds of teens down on their luck, living in buildings not even cockroaches want to live in. And it is those teens that Sam wants to make an item about. Jamie doesn't think this would make a very good item since it's smelly.
Brooke also has an idea. She starts talking about how teenagers start to get real famous real fast. So she wants to know how fame affects the teenage famous and how the famous affect the non-famous teens. Jamie thinks this is a brilliant idea. There is one small problem, however. Sam and Brooke are two High School students. How on Earth are they ever going to get in touch with someone famous? Sam the solution, saying that maybe they shouldn't focus on the already-famous, but the very-likely-to-get-famous. Like Josh.
Jamie loves the idea.
Brooke doesn't.

Sam, Brooke and Harrison are planning how the production schedule of the Josh documentary is going to look like. Brooke still isn't pleased that she's going to be within a one-metre radius of her so-called ex-boyfriend (since you couldn't really call him a boyfriend to begin with) and the blonde makes a point of pointing this out to Sam. Sam counters by saying that Brooke's idea was pretty impossible and that, by focusing on Josh, it isn't impossible any more. Anyway, Sam and Brooke start bitching to each other for a while, until Harrison interrupts them, wanting to know if Josh actually knows that the girls are going to make a documentary about him.

Meanwhile, April Tuna is on the net. She's visiting a website called "scentedDesirables.com" and she's chatting with someone who might be able to get a hold of some of Carmen's unmentionables. April is willing to pay a lot for said unmentionables.

In the Kennedy High cafeteria, Carmen is sitting at the cheerleading table and not with her friends. She feels guilty about this. Then Mary Cherry shows up with some wonderful news. Some guy called Mephisto is going to change the cheerleaders into the very vision of beauty for the driver's license photo. The photo on your driver's license is very, very important for ones image, after all.

Sam's talking to Josh. She's trying to persuade the guy to go along with the interview. Josh, however, doesn't feel like it since he's got so much pressure right now. Then Sam plays the Brooke card and, all of the sudden, Josh is willing to do the interview.

Sam, Harrison and Josh are in the Kennedy High theatre (don't really know how else to call it). They're all bored and frustrated because Brooke's late. Sam therefore decides to go over a few ideas she has for the documentary, including the idea that they should come over to Josh' house for some more in-depth stuff. Josh immediately nixes that idea. Then Brooke enters in a panic. She hurries up to Sam and asks the girl which of the two outfits she's holding looks prettier on her. Sam so doesn't care since she's one of those girls that don't look at the outside. And besides, Brooke's late, so could she please hurry up. Miss Ross, the teacher of a thousand classes, shows up and, since she wants to get the musical rehearsals on the road, takes Josh away with her. Sam starts fighting with Brooke because the blonde was so damn late. Brooke fights back and before you know it, the girls are firing each other and quitting their jobs. Harrison looks upon this with massive confusion. Sam and Brooke storm off in opposite directions. Then some random other student shows up.
Random student: "Perplexed?"
Harrison: "Totally!"
RS: "Don't be. When women live together their cycles often coincide."
Now, I don't know much about synchronised menstrual cycles, since I don't know anything about those cycles to begin with. So I'll just take the 'living together' part of that statement and be happy with it.
This also shows, by the way, that the rest of the school has also noticed things going on between Brooke and Sam.

At the Ford residence, Josh has decided to go talk to his dad. Josh tells his dad that he can't go to the dinner because of prior arrangements. James (Josh' dad, but I thought I already mentioned that so never mind) says that it's OK. Josh is allowed to go out with Brooke after the dinner. Josh informs his dad that he and Brooke have broken up. No, the prior arrangement is the documentary Sam and Brooke are making about him, because they think he can become famous. James is delighted to hear this and tells Josh to take them to the dinner with him. It is then that Josh has no more choice than to tell the truth: he's playing in the musical.
James becomes outraged, telling Josh that "important decisions are made as a family here", which, like every teenager knows, is translated into "you do what I tell you to do, and that's final". During James' outbreak of anger, Josh mom has also shown up on the scene. James figures out that she already knew about the musical, gets even madder, tells Josh that he can forget about the musical and leaves.

Next morning, Jean is dropping Josh off for school. Josh tells his mom that he's sorry for the scene that had transpired last night and that he hates it when his dad yells at her. Jean tells him that it's all right, since he stood up to his father like he should. She then tells him that he should play in the musical and have fun doing it.

Harrison, Brooke, Sam and Lily are in some classroom. Lily is there to observe that Sam and Brooke are only talking to each other via Harrison. Lily then leaves to go pick up her driver's license and a new best friend. After Lily's gone, Josh enters and we get to see our first real on-screen Sam/Brooke moment for this episode when Brooke reacts totally on instinct, fleeing away from Josh and seeking refuge close to Sam. Josh tells the group that he's ready to do the interview. We see Sam, Brooke and Harrison and we also see that Sam and Brooke, for one brief moment, look at each other in that certain way that we've seen so often that I've run out of ways to describe them. Let's just call it the "Damn it! Just kiss and stop staring at each other like a pair of lovesick puppies!"-look for now.

Meanwhile, in the Novak, April Tuna and Mary Cherry have a secret meeting. April hands Mary Cherry the cash, while Mary Cherry hands over a pair of Carmen's panties. Mary Cherry then leaves, since it's time for her to go make herself pretty for her driver's license photo.

We're at the great big Josh interview. Josh tells the camera that juggling his classes, football and the musical all went pretty OK because he had his girlfriend to back him up. Now he doesn't any more, so he's in trouble. Brooke tells him that she knows how he feels. That everything seems to be in order, but that there's something vital, something fundamental missing. Brooke is probably talking about her Josh-sort-of-dating days. And maybe that's also why she started sleeping with Sam a few eps back. You know, in an attempt to fill up the void.
Anyway, Josh starts talking about his dad. About how he doesn't understand him. But that's understandable, because Josh doesn't even understand himself. He doesn't even know why he's doing the musical. Maybe it's some sort of rebellion so that his parents start paying attention to him. Fame, and the attention that comes with it, is like a drug. It dulls the pain of everyday life a little, but it doesn't help since it's fake and only leaves a craving for more.

Meanwhile, at the driving school, Lily is being handed her driver's license. She is handed her driver's license by Godfrey, the guy who first worked at Mr Cluck's and at that skincare products shop last week. He's probably rounded up whenever the writers need some unpleasant character that's not affiliated to the school. Anyway, we hear that Lily has been the cause of his resignation at Mr Cluck's. This doesn't explain how he got here from the skincare products store, but hey.
As Lily leaves, the cheerleaders (minus Brooke) enter. They spot Lily. Mary Cherry viciously insult Lil' Lily for a while. Lily then leaves the scene completely, leaving a rather upset Carmen behind. Carmen has soon forgotten her hurt, however, when she's taking the theoretical exam and sees April Tuna with a large board saying "Go Carmen!".

Sam, Brooke and Harrison are sitting in some room, reviewing the interview with Josh. Sam declares that they should focus on Josh' parents, because if they don't, all they have left is shallowness. Brooke is insulted, demanding to know if Sam thought that her questions were shallow. Harrison sighs, sensing another fight. Sam, however, says that no, the rest wasn't shallow. It's just that the parental issue Brooke has uncovered is something very fundamental and should be investigated further. Brooke is suddenly all smiles, mightily pleased with the compliment. Sam and Brooke huddle together, both all smiles, to work out their plans. Harrison, who is totally ignored by the girls, is now really confused about their behaviour.

Back at the driving school, Popita is driving recklessly on a deserted parking lot. For some reason, she passes the test.
Mary Cherry has to tackle the obstacle course. She tries to hit every single pylon, but her driving skills are so bad that she slaloms around them. Disappointed, she heads for the cheerleaders with a murderous gaze in her eyes, but stops just in front of them.
Nicole isn't so sure if she has enough skills to drive on a completely empty parking lot, so she ensures the position of her license by showing Godfrey some cleavage
Carmen is also nervous about the daunting task of driving somewhere with absolutely no traffic or any possible difficult situations like a garbage truck showing up from out of nowhere and not giving her the right of way she deserves (sorry, driving school trauma talking now). Anyway, since Carmen is so nervous about not being able to handle this totally harmless situation that she continuously looks over at what Godfrey's writing down. She thereby misses April Tuna filming her and stepping in her way. When Carmen finally spots her she panics, accelerating first, then remembering that the brake is actually located somewhere else. In short, she hits April.

At the Ford residence, Brooke, Sam and Harrison are interviewing Jean. Josh shows up, demanding to know what's going on. Jean tries to calm him down, saying that this may help improve relations with his father. Josh is too mad to listen, however, and yells at the girls and their cameraman that he's not going to do the documentary thing any longer and that he's going to quit the musical.

The night of the musical has arrived. Carmen is sitting in one of the benches and is soon joined by the other cheerleaders. The all congratulate her on hitting April. Mary Cherry tells Carmen that she's a little disappointed that April wasn't exactly dead, but she still found it a good effort.
And to think that those three girls have just been unleashed on America with driver's licenses. Makes a guy glad he's not American.
Then April shows up, sitting in a wheelchair, covered in plaster. She apologises to Carmen for screwing up her chance to get a driver's license. Carmen has had it by now and leaves, taking April with her.

Behind the scenes, Sam, Harrison and Brooke are debating what they should do. Brooke thinks that they should tell someone that Josh isn't going to show up. She then does tell Miss Ross this, mere moments before Josh shows up, who says that he's playing after. Camera and microphone at the ready, Brooke wants to know why Josh had this sudden change of heart. Josh tells them that he's doing the musical simply because he wants to do the musical.

Meanwhile, in the Novak, Carmen tries to persuade April to stop worshipping her. April, however, isn't willing to let go since Carmen is a great inspiration for her. One of the few that managed to pull herself out of the swamp of unpopularity and onto Mount Popular. April then confesses that she has a miserable life and that she actually hates herself. Carmen then makes with the inspirational speech, telling April how she hated herself too, but got through it by focusing on her good aspects. Anyway, after bolstering April's self-esteem a little, she tells her that she could do without the fanclub and the website and everything. April leaves, leaving one Carmen who feels very good about herself for doing such a good deed. Then the door to one of the stalls opens and Lily emerges. She tells Carmen that the brunette inspires her too. I don't really see how Carmen is going about doing this. I suppose that, if I wasn't so focused on Sam/Brooke, this would be quite a significant Lily/Carmen scene.

Behind the scenes of the musical, Josh is about to go up when Sam notices that Josh' dad has just sat down next to Josh' mom in the crowd. She informs Josh of this fact. The teens all give a positive spin to this, saying to each other how this act of Josh' dad means that he's respecting Josh' decisions.
So, Josh is on stage, singing a song, because it's a musical. During the song, James gets up and leaves. After the song finish, Josh makes a hasty exit. He's followed by the documentary crew.

Outside the school, at night, Josh tries to talk to his dad, wanting to know why his dad just up and left. During the scene (I'm not sure when exactly, so I'm noting it here) Sam, Brooke, Harrison, Jean and Jamie show up. Harrison immediately starts filming. Sam tries to stop him, but Jamie stops her stopping him.
Anyway, James says that he tried to stay in the musical, but he can't because Josh is such a big disappointment to him. He wants to know why Josh just won't look more like his brothers and do as he says. Josh tells his dad that he doesn't even know who his sons are. The middle brother, Ricky, calls Josh every Saturday, drunk and miserable because James forced him into a fraternity he hates belonging to a college he hates. The eldest brother, John, is in a bad marriage with two kids. He knew the marriage wasn't going to work right from the start, but he went through with it because he didn't want to fail his dad. In short, John and Ricky hate James with a passion. So, the reason why Josh is going on with the musical and why he's standing up to him is simply because he doesn't want to end up hating him. Josh then leaves, since he still has a musical to finish.
James is silent for a moment. Of course, he represses everything he just heard and tells Jean to go with him. Jean refuses, going back to watch the remainder of the musical. James then leaves all by himself.

In the final scene, Brooke and Sam have a message for Enterteenment Today. They say that the documentary they just made is brilliant. It really displays the essence of how fame corrupts and pollutes ones life all in return for some fake attention. And if someone wants that fame, fine, but it shouldn't be forced on someone, like they forced it on Josh. So, long story short, they erased the tape. Now Sam and Brooke may not become famous, but at least they'll be able to sleep peacefully. Well, not really, actually. Brooke is kept awake at night because of Sam's snoring and Sam is kept awake because Brooke talks about her "lurid fantasies" in her sleep.
Err… wait… back up. If Sam snores, fine. But how would Brooke be able to hear that two rooms away? She must be a really, really loud when snoring. Of course, if Sam were to sleep in Brooke's room, then it would make sense, but the very idea of that is just preposterous, is it not?
And for Sam to hear someone talk two rooms away that other person would have to scream or yell. But people who talk in their sleep generally just talk in their sleep. The only way for Sam to know that Brooke is talking AND to clearly understand the subject of Brooke's talking (these so-called "lurid fantasies"), Brooke would have to be sleeping in Sam's room. But the very idea of that ever happening is just ridiculous, right?

And it is on this happy note that I conclude this week's review. Until next time!

Webmaster's Note: Jos took a little break from the Subtext Corner and handed the reins to Alan Hitchen