Title: Accidentally In Love

Name: Cherry89

Pairings: Marissa and Alex

Rating: Anywhere from Pg to NC-17

Warning: Contains strong emotion, sexual content, little violence, mild language

Disclamer: If I owned it I wouldn't have to writ! e about it, and Alex sure as hell wouldn't have left.

Summary: Marissa and Alex have a past and meet several years later. Marissa and Alex both have issues.

Spoiler: None...it's future so...

Author's Note: It's a gay relationship between two women if it bugs ya run far far away and don't look back...

Archiving: Ask

Feed Back: Yes please... Uconnchick4lyf15@yahoo.com

~Chapter I~

Seven years later after the night Alex and Marissa broke up they lived their lives in two different directions. Alex was a paramedic and Marissa was a successful model living in Manhattan New York. Alex and Marissa didn't know that each other were so close as a walk away from each other, but they were soon to find out.

Marissa was driving home on a cold winter night in January after a photo shoot. Marissa wasn't going fast when she felt the wheel jerk right and hit an ice patch flipping the car. Marissa screamed then everything went black. Marissa lay unconscious in her car turned over in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge.

Alex Kelly and Patria Underwood were driving the ambulance back to the hospital to end their shifts when they got an urgent call over the radio. "435 We have an accident on route 39. A car flipped over and there is a young woman that is in need of medical attention." Patti turned the wheel hard flipping on the sirens. She sped to the site of the accident.

"Alex get in the back and be ready to help her.” Alex moved to the back while Patti stepped harder on the gas. Patti swerved all over the road avoiding different traffic lights and signals.

When they got there the police where there and the young woman was stuck. Alex leaped out of the ambulance rushing over to the car. She looked inside and saw that the girl was beat up pretty bad. She must have hit an ice patch because her speed gage was stuck at 35 mph. Alex turned to see Patti coming with the lift. Alex and Patti lifted the girl onto the gourde and put her in the back of the ambulance.

Alex sat in the back with the young woman who looked to be about 25 the same age as her. Alex looked down again seeing that she was bleeding from her head, she grabbed a gauze and quickly stopped the bleeding. Alex cleaned off her face seeing the bright tan underneath. Alex had no idea who this woman was but she was beautiful. Just as she went to grab her ID the woman opened her eyes fluttering them trying to gain perspective on where she was. Alex looked at those eyes, those big blue eyes, “wait those eyes are so familiar.” Alex thought to herself.

"Oh my god.” Alex realized who the woman was and not a moment to soon. Marissa was the girl that was sitting before her, her one and only true love had some how come back into her life. Before Alex could contemplate what had happen and what could happen Marissa lost consciousness. Alex yelled at Patti, "Hurry we are losing her." I can't lose her, not again. Alex felt tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

Marissa was close to losing it and just barely saw the eyes that were looking at her. She knew those eyes those gorgeous green eyes. Oh my god it's Alex. Marissa couldn't believe her eyes but when she tried to speak she couldn't, she was caught by the darkness slowly engulfing her.

The ambulance got her there and they took her straight to the ER and were examining her. Alex paced the waiting room when Patti came in.” Alex are you staying?"

Alex nodded her head.” Do you remember the girl I told you about?"

"Yea why."

"That was her."

"God Alex I am so sorry."

Alex started to cry.” I have never forgotten the feelings that I had for her and know they are back and I never stopped loving her and I don't want to lose her again." Alex sobbed into Patti’s shoulder.

"Look you stay here with her and I'll take Rob on duty with me until you are better ok?"

"Yea thanks I'll talk to you tomorrow." Alex sat down in a chair and waited impatiently to hear from Dr. Stevens. When he finally came out he saw Alex sleeping in a chair.

"Alex..."he nudged her arm” Alex.."

Alex looked up at him with worried eyes.” She is in recovery she is pretty bad but you can go see her now." Alex got up and stood and slowly walked to the reception desk asking where her room was.

"234 ma'am."

"Thank you." Alex walked to the elevator, she pushed the button for the third floor and got in. Alex walked down the hall hoping she was awake enough to hear her. Alex walked into the room taking a deep breath.

She looked at Marissa she had tubes hear and there. It made her sad to see her like this.” I wish I could do something for you Riss. I love you so much I never stopped.” Alex started to cry when she felt a cold hand on hers squeezing hers tightly.

"I never stopped loving you either." Marissa barely opened her eyes only enough to see Alex.

Alex looked down at her long lost love. "God Marissa, just hold me." Alex laid down on the bed with her and they fell asleep together for the first of many times.

~Chapter II~

Alex awoke the next morning to a grinning Marissa. "hey."

"Hey. So how are you feeling?"

"Fine when someone isn't cutting off my air supply."

"Sorry." Alex sat up. "Can I ask you a few questions?"


"What happened? I mean after I left..."

"Me." Marissa said finishing her sentence.


"Well Ryan and I tried to make it work...but it just didn't because I just felt deep down inside that..."Marissa looked into Alex's soul through her eyes. "That I still loved you and I couldn't do that to Ryan. And what I was mistakenly feeling for him is what I felt for you and I got scared that night at the bonfire. I wanted everyday to just call you and take you back into my arms hoping you could forgive me..."

"but you didn't."

"No I didn't."


"I don't know I guess I was scared because I thought maybe you replaced me."

"No I haven't been with anyone since some Newport chick broke my heart 7 years ago."

"Alex I am so sorry, really I am. I missed you so much."

"I know I missed you too. So how's your life now?"

"Bad Alex...very bad."

"Why? What are you talking about?"

"Alex... I am in trouble."


"Yea." Marissa looked down.

"What is it and don't lie to me."

"Alex...I well after I became a model the pressure was just so high. I was anorexic for at least two years right after I got out of college and then it got worse..."

"What do you mean worse?"

"Drugs, alcohol, and other things."

"Marissa? No wonder you are sitting her in a hospital bed."

"Alex please don't judge me I just need someone who will be there for me. Sum and Seth and Ryan hate me now."

"What do you mean they hate you?"

"Well after Ryan and I called it quits I started to drink and he started one night on me saying how I should have never let you into my life...and well I let him have it. Seth hates me for that and Sum hates me because of the person I became after you left. I haven't talked to them since senior year."

"I am sorry you had to go through that. I should have never left."

"Yea but you had to. “Marissa looked down.” Besides it was my fault you left me I was the one who screwed things up not you.“ A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Oh god Marissa I didn't want to leave I didn't but I just wanted to give you space." Alex whipped away her tears, leaning in she kissed Marissa. Marissa moaned softly into their kiss. Alex bit her lower lip she stopped when she heard Marissa cry. "What's wrong?" Alex was worried.

"Nothing I just I don't ever want you to leave me again." Marissa felt Alex's hand on the back of her neck pulling her in closer.

~Chapter III~

"I won't leave you ever again I promise. I will be here for you everyday no matter what." Alex looked deep into Marissa's eyes before entering her mouth again. Alex didn't want to push it that far since they are just now getting back together after that long of time apart. So they just laid there again just holding each other.


Next Day

Alex walked into the hospital at 8:15 am and walked to Marissa's room carrying flowers. She saw that Marissa was sleeping and decide to wait in a chair that was next to her bed. Alex watched her sleep and thought about what they would do after she was out of the hospital. I'll take her to dinner and then we can go back to my place and catch up. Yea that's it. I'll make dinner at my house instead and sprinkle rose petals all over the kitchen and have a candle lite dinner. Maybe I'll wait a few months for that though. Alex though maybe for now they would just do something simple and get to know each other again. Alex had missed her so much over the years they spent apart and was just happy to see her and be with her again. Alex stayed there all day just watching Marissa sleep with a smile on her face.

Marissa slept a few more hours and woke at lunch time to find Alex sleeping in the chair next to her. Marissa smiled knowing that they would be together again but didn't want to rush it this time. Last time it went too fast for both of them. For now just spending time with her was enough. Marissa looked over at Alex and took her hand and brought it to her lips gently kissing it. Alex woke up and looked right in her eyes.

"Hey beautiful."

"Hey sleepy."

"What oh yea I have been here since my shift ended this morning. Working nights is horrible."

"Yea. Well if you come over here then you at least have a bed to sleep on." Alex got up and laid on the bed with Marissa.

"Thanks baby." Alex said as she drifted off to dreamland. Marissa smiled and stroked her hair until she too fell asleep.

~Chapter IV~

Alex awoke the next morning beside an empty bed. Oh my god where is she? Alex was in a panic. She got up from the chair quickly and looked around for Marissa. Where is that girl is she trying to give me a heart attack? Alex walked out of the room and almost knocked some old guy off his feet. "OH I am sorry."

"Don't worry about it Hun I am fine. You go find that lucky someone."

Alex smiled and continued her way down the hall. She stopped when she reached the rehab room spotting a familiar head of hair. She looked in and saw it was Marissa. Thank god. Alex opened the door and went inside sitting down at a chair to the side of the room.

Marissa looked up when she heard the door open. She saw Alex sit down and she turned back to her therapist.

"Marissa you are fine enough to head home tomorrow though I would recommend you take it light for a week or two. No heavy lifting and no strenuous activity."

Marissa nodded her head and she rose and walked to Alex. "Hey what's wrong did you think I died or something?"

"What....no I was just scared that you left."

"Me? No not ever not now not when I have you again." Marissa smiled and Alex and her left the room.

"So one more night Doc. Do I really have to? Can't I just go home and well sleep for a change I can't sleep here."

"No I am afraid you'll have to wait until tomorrow."

"Look Steven she can take a ride with me while I am on my shift Patti is off today."


Marissa jumped up hugging Doc and her and Alex walked out to the ambulance this time Marissa was in the front seats instead of the back.

~Chapter V~

Alex and Marissa were doing their routine rounds or at least Alex was. Marissa sat in the front looking out the window thinking how beautiful NY was at night. Alex reached over finding Marissa's hand and bringing to her lips kissing it softly. Alex continued making her usual rounds and by three there hadn't been a single call which was good because her shift ended in an hour and they could then go home.

"Alex?" Marissa looked back form the window directing her attention to Alex. "There is something you should know." Marissa had been arguing with herself all night debating whether or not she should tell Alex all of this all of her and what she had been through.

"What is it?"

"I think we should talk about some of the things I told you the first time I woke up and told you I was in trouble."

"Ok." Alex started to worry and she wasn't sure where this would lead to but if they had to talk then they had to talk.

"Alex...I...when you left...I started to drink. I was drunk all the time. With Ryan with Seth and with even Summer. I kept a flask with me everywhere I went. One day I went back to the baitshop thinking God only knows what and found myself in the hospital the next morning with the chills and shakes. That's when Summer started to leave me. I stayed a few days to get tests done and stuff like that and then I went home. Which made it even worse because my mom knew why I was always drinking and it was mostly because of her. And she knew it so she called Ryan to get him to try and calm me down because we got into an argument. He came and said that you were a no good piece of trash. He said that all you did was brainwash me into believing things that were immoral. He said I should have never got with you and that you were a bad influence on me and that was the reason I was drinking all the time. So I socked him in the face, broke his jaw. And I just walked away." Marissa paused before going on more.

"Then Seth told me I had no right to hit him and I blew up and I was like he no reason to tell me that I was wasting my life because of Alex. I got tired of them all saying that about me and you and I left. I went to NYU and went into modeling. Then I started the drugs. Heroine, cocaine, and alcohol too. I was in a fix all the time if I didn't have one I needed one. Alex I am so FU**ED up."

"No Marissa you just have had a hard life to live but now you're with me again and I am going to take care of you." Alex squeezed her hand and borough it to her lips again kissing it. "I love you and I don't care what I have to do to keep you right here beside me where you belong."

Marisa started to cry. "Alex you are so good to me and I don't deserve you."

"You deserve everything your heart desires and I am going to give it all to you."

"Alex stop please you are making me feel worse." Marissa paused what she had to say next would be the hardest thing she would ever have to say to Alex. "Alex I...I was in a car accident a few years ago with my sister. Alex I...I...nearly kil...led her." Marissa sobbed. "She is paralyzed for the rest of her life because of me. I am such a horrible person." Marissa was now crying to the point she was heaving.

"Marissa stop please you have to calm down it isn't good for you to be so worked up. You will make yourself sick. Please calm down." Alex was getting worried. Alex decided to end her shift there and get her home. Alex stopped at the hospital and got Marissa out of the van and into her car. Alex drove home in a panic because Marissa was still crying.

She finally reached her apartment and carried Marissa up there and laid her down on her bed. Alex took her shoes off and her clothes and put her in a pair of pj's. Alex pulled the covers up over her shoulders and held her while she cried. She finally stopped crying around 6am and went to sleep. Alex sat beside her holding her and comforting her until she too fell asleep.

~Chapter VI~

Marissa woke the next morning to seeing Alex's face. She smiled. She loved Alex, the way she was so strong for herself and everyone else. She loved how Alex looked so peaceful when she slept. She loved how she knew that her and Alex would be together forever. She loved the way she felt around her, the way her heart seemed to race with the slightest touch of her skin. Her tender kisses would send chills up her back. She loved everything about Alex.

She gently kissed Alex on her forehead and got up to go to the bathroom. Alex stirred because she was suddenly cold. The warmth that she had felt sometime before had left her. Alex slowly opened her eyes, looking around Marissa was nowhere to be found. "Marissa, where are you?"

"Bathroom." Alex got up walking over to the bathroom door to find clothes scattered on the floor. She walked in the door way, Marissa was naked. She stared at her gorgeous body. "Like the view?" Marissa giggled. Alex blushed and shook her head.

"Yea. So about last night."

"Yea about that. Sorry."

Alex walked over to Marissa. "Don't be, it's ok, it wasn't your fault."

Marissa smiled, "I know but it's just that feeling you know." Alex shook her head up and down. Marissa turned to get into the shower and Alex stood there. "You coming?"

"Huh?, Oh yea." Alex undressed in front of Marissa. Slowly removing every last article of clothing and then stepping into the hot shower. Marissa and Alex washed each others bodies kissing moments between. When they finally got out they walked into the bedroom picking out clothes to wear so they could go out for breakfast.

Marissa picked a pair of black jeans and a hot pink top with flip flops. Alex grabbed a short mini skirt boots that came to her knees and a cami top. The two of them grabbed some money and walked to Denny's.

"Hey Rissa so what do you want to get?"

"Umm..." Marissa stared at the menu for a while before deciding on the slammer. “I think I am going to get the slammer."

"Are you sure you can eat all that?"

"No, but you can always have some."


"So what are you going to get sugar?"

"Hum... moon's over my hammy I think."

"Ohhh, can we share?"

"I don't know maybe if you're good."

"Very funny Al."

The waitress walked over asking for their orders for their drinks and breakfast. "So what will it be girls?"

Alex spoke first, “I’ll have the moon's over my hammy, and a diet coke please."

"No problem." The waitress said writing her requests down. "Would you like home fries or hash browns?"

"Home fries please."

The waitress then turned to Marissa, "An you miss?"

"I'll have the slammer, with orange juice please."

"Sure, it should be out in about half an hour." The waitress stated and walked away.

The girls sat there in a nice peaceful silence for a few minutes and then started to talk about the plans for the rest of their day.

"So what else do you want to do today sugar?"

"I don't know. You feel like a drive to Syracuse?"

"Wow, I guess. Why?"

"The mall there is huge." Alex and Marissa laughed.

"Yea sure sugar sounds great."

The waitress came back with their meals and drinks and gave them their check. Alex was just about to start when Marissa stopped her.

"Don't you even take a bite yet."

"Why?" Alex was confused.

"Because we are supposed to share and you're all the way over there. You should sit by me instead." Alex looked at Marissa and smiled.

"Of course." Alex got up moving to the other side and sitting by her girlfriend. "Ok so now can I start to eat?"

"I guess if you have to."

Alex and Marissa each ate half of their breakfasts and then switched. "Wow yours was really good sugar."

"Yea yours was too, You ready to go?"

"Yea I am."

The girls got up and walked to the cash register to pay and then left. Alex got in on one side of the jeep and Marissa on the other when they had reached the apartment. Alex drove to 81 and got on the interstate. The ride was a some what quiet one until that is the radio was turned on and someone decide to blare the music.



Alex reached for the knob on the dash to turn the music down. "Not so loud you."

"Sorry, it was a good song."

"I know it was but I would like to hear my girlfriend's beautiful voice when she talks."

The rest of the drive consisted of them holding hands and exchanging glances. When they finally got there it was almost lunch time. The parking garage was packed and Alex had to park on the third floor of the garage. Alex and Marissa got out of the jeep and walked to the elevator.

"Alex, can't we walk? Please!"

"What's the matter afraid?"

"You know I don't like elevators."

"Yea I know, but that means you'll cling to me tightly."

"Like I won't anyway." Marissa smiled and grabbed Alex's hand as they walked into the elevator. Marissa took a deep breath and when the elevator started moving she clung to Alex for dear life. Alex loved the contact between them and was sad that it had to end when the elevator finally stopped. As they stepped out Marissa gave Alex a tender little kiss on the lips. When they broke apart the two of them noticed the audience they had grabbed and just walked right through a crowd of people, smiling form ear to ear as they walked through the mall

~Chapter VII~

Alex and Marissa spent the whole afternoon at the mall. They enjoyed themselves immensely. They held hands and kissed every so often. Sure people stared, sure they whispered, but they didn't care. They knew that they loved each other and that was all that mattered.

Alex and Marissa walked out with at least 20 bags. "So where to now?"

"I don't know, how tired are you?"

"Really tired, I am beat."

"We'll how about we just get a room and stay the night?"


Alex and Marissa drove to a near by motel and stayed there. It wasn't big room, but it was enough for the two of them. Alex and Marissa carried their bags inside the room so that no one would steal them. Alex set them in the corner. As she walked over to the corner laying the last two bags down she felt a pair of familiar hands reach around her stomach.

"Hey baby."

"Hey you." Riss said kissing her neck.

"Ohhh, baby. You are killing me."

"Well why are you still dressed?" Marissa smiled at her seductively.

"I have no idea."

Marissa and Alex started to undress each other. "Baby I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too."

Marissa gently picked Alex up and carried her to the bed laying her down and getting on top. She slowly moved her hands up and down her sides and rubbed her stomach. She planted tender kisses from her neck to her collar bone and up again. Alex slid her hands up and down Marissa's back soon finding the edge of her skirt, and caressing the skin beneath. She pushed her shirt up further finally lifting her shirt over her head and throwing it to the floor. Alex rolled over so that she was now on top of Marissa. She bent down slowly unbuttoning her shirt and leaving tender kisses where she touched. Alex would linger at one spot gently kissing and then licking, rolling her tongue on the surface of Marissa's skin. Every time her lips left Riss's skin she could feel the moistness linger. Alex slowly moved to the edge of her pants, Kissing every part of her. She unbuckled her belt and pulled off her pants, disguarding them to the floor. Still kissing her belly she slowly moved her hands back up yo her bra and expertly unhooked it. Alex looked up to stare at her beautiful girlfriend. Doing this gave Marissa time to roll Alex over and slowly unbutton her jeans and unzip the zipper. Marissa pulled the jeans over Alex's butt and threw them to the floor where the rest of their clothes lie carelessly strewn about.

Alex and Marissa continued for hours before finally falling asleep in each other's arms. Alex was the first to wake the next morning. She looked over at the body next to her thinking how lucky she was to have her. She bent down towards her ear whispering, "I love you Riss."

Marissa smiled, she was awake enough to hear Alex say that and turned over to face Alex. "I love you too. We should get up."

"Yea we should."

Marissa and Alex laid there for a few more minutes before hopping into the shower and then getting dressed in the new clothes they bought. After changing they took their bags out to the jeep and got in for the ride home.

~Chapter VIII~

Marissa was very quiet the ride home. She was thinking about some things that she should or shouldn't tell Alex. Alex was starting to worry because she was so quiet. She looked over at Marissa noticing that she was looking out the window, she placed her hand down on top of Marissa's. "What's wrong babe?"

Marissa looked away from the window and to Alex. "Umm nothing."

Alex didn't think she was being honest with her but didn't want to push. "Are you sure?"

Marissa sat there quietly for a while and finally answered. "Can we talk about it later?"

"Sure." Alex was very understanding about it. She held her hand gently kissing it and then laying it back down on her lap. She continued driving home and when they went inside Marissa started to cry. Alex dropped the bags and quickly ran to her. "Shh, what's wrong?"

"Alex, I...I don't want to go back."

"Go back? What are you talking about?"

"Modeling, I don't want to go back. I can't, I don't want to end up in the hospital again. I don't want to fall back into that hole."

"Shh, don't worry you won't you are strong and I am here for you. If you don't want to do modeling anymore then don't. You do what is right for you."

"Alex I don't even know what I will do if I don't do modeling."

"Go back to school."

"Alex I can't we don't have the money for me to."

"Marissa if it will help you stay out of that hole I will get a loan for you to go back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am, I don't care what it takes. As long as you find something that you want to do."

"I don't even know."

"Well what are you really interested in?"

"Well being a lawyer or a therapist sounds interesting. Or maybe something where I can work my own hours."

"Well I think your own hours would be better I mean be your own boss. Open a business."

"Like what?"

"Maybe a restaurant, or a fashion line even."


"But enough of that." Alex said kissing Marissa softly on her lips.

"Mmmmm. WOW."

"Yea, so how about we take this to the bedroom?"

"Yes, let's." Marissa took Alex's hand and she lead her o the room and gently placed her on the bed. Alex walked away and closed the bedroom door. Leaving them with the privacy they needed.

~Chapter IX~

Alex walked back to Marissa sitting on the bed. "Ummm so shall we?"

"Why not." Marissa said before leaning in to kiss Alex. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." And with that as their last sentence of the night they got lost in a deep kiss.

Alex pushed Marissa backwards onto the bed not breaking the kiss. She slowly slid her hands all over Marissa's body, giving her the chills. She loved Alex's touch. Alex started to kiss her neck leaving the moisture from her lips wherever they touched. While continuing to kiss her neck she moved her hands under her shirt lifting it slightly. Marissa gave a slight moan at the contact made by their skin. Alex continued lifting her shirt until it came off her glorious body unveiling her torso. Alex continued her kissing expedition now moving to her shoulder and collar bone, while rubbing Marissa's belly. Marissa lifted her back slightly to push herself into Alex. "In a hurry, baby?" Marissa hurriedly pulled of Alex's clothes.

"No...But I want you. NOW!" Alex got the hint and continued kissing her while unbuttoning her pants and removing them quickly. Alex threw the pants to the floor and moved her body lower. She kissed down from her torso and back up and then down again. She slowly made her way to Marissa's thighs. Kissing them gently and messaging them with her finger tips. Marissa was ecstatic but needed more of Alex before she exploded. Alex sensed the urgency within Marissa and kissed harder moving closer to Marissa's desired spot. Alex slowly slid her hands up Marissa's legs and slipped them under her panties pulling them off while still kissing her. She then started to lick up and down the inside of Marissa's thigh leaving Marissa in anticipation. Alex didn't stop moving her hands up Marissa's leg, until she reached her destination. She looked into Marissa's eyes seeing want and desire filling them. Alex put two fingers into Marissa and began to pump gently the going faster after Marissa got used to the sensation. Alex continued to pump and pump until she finally felt Marissa go over the edge with a violent 0rg@sm. Alex removed her fingers and held Marissa as she rode out one of the best nights of her life.

Marissa finally stopped shacking and turned to look at Alex. "I love you."

"I love you too." Alex replied pulling Marissa tighter against her body and wrapping her arms around her. They both fell asleep within minutes.

Marissa woke up around 4am feeling extremely cold. She rolled over to find Alex gone from the bed. She sat up and looked around noticing a figure in the corner. She got out of bed grabbed a robe for her and the huddled ball in the corner of the room and walked over to Alex.

"What's wrong baby?"

Alex looked up at her, her eyes filled with tears. Marissa saw this and placed the robe around Alex drawing her up from the floor and taking her to the bed. She and Alex sat down and she held Alex trying to comfort her. "Shh. What's wrong baby?"

Alex looked at Marissa and began speaking. "How can you even look at me?"

"Alex what are you talking about?"

"Me...How can you look at me?"

"Alex you are not making any sense."

"Marissa, you have spilled you're heart out to me and I know you have no more secrets from me. But..."

"But what Alex?" Marissa looked at Alex with worry in her eyes. "What is going on Alex?"

"I...." Alex could barely speak. "I was in the hospital four years ago...." Alex paused.


"I was ummm...." Alex had a lump in her throat she didn't want to tell Marissa this. "I..." Alex's throat was so dry it was beginning to sound hoarse.

"Alex you can tell me."

Alex looked at Marissa. She couldn't help but cry again. "Marissa I...I tried to commit suicide." Alex cried after she spoke those last few words. Marissa still sat there holding her.

"Alex, why?"

"Because I finally realized that I might never see you again. And I couldn't take it anymore, because I knew it was my fault. Not yours. I only ever questioned our relationship because of your mom. And I knew I loved you then. And I love you now. And I thought I lost you. Marissa I hated that feeling. I tried to make it go away and I couldn't." Alex took a pause letting her tears fall from the corners of her eyes before continuing. "So one night I sat in my bathroom with my switch blade and I cut my wrists and my legs and I sat there crying and bleeding. When I didn't show up for my shift, Patti came by and tried to get in but I locked the door. When she didn't hear anything but crying through the door she broke it down and she walked in the bathroom." Alex continued as she remembered the rest of what happened that night.

~*~(Flash back)

Patti was on her way back to the hospital and decided to check on Alex since she hadn't shown up for her shift. Patti knew there was something bugging her friend lately. She pulled in the driveway and got out. Alex sat in her bathroom on the floor with cuts on her wrists and legs. Patti yelled for Alex. "Alex, you in there?" There was no answer, just crying. "Alex?!" Patti had had enough she broke down the door in two tries.

Patti walked around to try and find Alex. She almost dismissed the bathroom when she heard small whimpers from behind the door. "Alex?"

Patti burst in to find Alex sitting on the floor. Patti knelt down next to her best friend. She couldn't believe the site in front of her. "Oh my God! Alex what have you done." Alex still cried. She didn't move from where she was sitting. Patti called the hospital and carried her to the ambulance.

Patti got in on the drivers side and speed to the hospital. She got there just before Alex passed out. Patti got out and helped the medics get Alex out and onto a gurney. "Alex, can you hear me? Alex stay with me." They rushed Alex into the ER and got her into a private room as soon as possible.

The doctors came in soon after running to try and get there. They had to stop the bleeding before she lost too much and wouldn't make it through. "Quick get me a pint of AB blood for this woman. Go now!!" The nurse ran out and came back hooking the blood up to Alex's arm. Alex lay there still and lifeless, as the doctors stopped the bleeding. Patti stood outside the door worried.

She stood there for a few minutes, pacing the hall outside the ER. The doctors were frantically moving about and she couldn't see what was going on until she heard that noise. That unforgettable noise that made her collapse to her knees and hold her head in her hands.

Alex's line went straight and the beeping noise was sounding. The doctors moved even faster if you could imagine them moving any faster. The got the crash cart and got it ready. "Clear." the nurse said. The doctor hit Alex with the paddles and Alex's body jumped. He hit her again, her body jumping again, with a steady up and down pace to it once again. "She 150 over 20."The nurse said. "Pack it up and get her to a private room in ICU."

They moved Alex over to ICU to monitor her readings and make sure she was ok before moving her to recuperating. Alex still lay there motionless. As they rolled her out of the ER Patti followed behind her. They took her to her room and let Patti in. Patti sat by her side and held her hand until she fell asleep by Alex's side.

~Chapter X~

(still in flash back)

Patti awoke the next morning to a bunch of doctors. Steven was one of them. "Patti, this isn't good." Patti didn't talk she just listened. "She needs help. You have to talk to her when she wakes up. And quite honestly I don't know when she will. She lost a lot of blood. She could be out for a day, days, or even weeks. I just don't know. But I do know she needs help. Patti, promise me you'll get her help." Patti nodded and sat back down.

"God Alex what have you done to yourself?" Patti asked her voice filling the empty and lifeless room. The same thoughts ran through her head over and over again. *What is going to happen now?* Patti was getting hungry and walked down stairs to the cafe.

Alex laid there still motionless when she got back. Patti didn't want to leave but she had to get a shower and go on shift soon. She got up from the chair and walked towards the door and before leaving she whispered, "Don't you leave me Alex Kelly, don't leave Marissa, there's still hope." And she walked out the door of Alex's room.

Alex woke to a door slamming. She heard someone say something, about Marissa. *Am I hearing things* Alex tried to sit up but when she did she got light headed and fell back down onto the pillow. *Oh God my head, what happened* Alex looked around the room, familiar yet distant. *Where am I* Alex looked down at her wrists because she felt a twinge of pain. *Oh God what did I do*

Patti was at home in the shower when shh got a phone call. She jumped out of the shower and answered the phone quickly. "Hello."

"Patti? It's Steve. She's awake and asking for you. Call off tonight."

"OK. I'll be right in." Patti hung up the phone and got dressed in a hurry and drove like a maniac to the hospital. She ran up to Alex's room to find her eating dinner. Patti walked in.

"Hey Al."

"Hey Patti." Alex barely could talk.

"How do you feel?"

"H...horrible." Alex cried.

"What's wrong." Patti asked as she sat in the chair next to Alex.

"What did I do to myself?"

Patti stared at Alex. "You....you cut yourself Alex." Patti looked at the floor.


"Alex I am afraid that is a question you are going to have to answer on your own." Alex sat there, her and Patti locked eyes. "Oh."

Patti looked at the ground. "Yea, you have to get help Alex."

"I don't need help."

"Alex...I...I don't want to see you dead because you might never see her again."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Alex don't play dumb. You know who I am talking about." Patti looked up. "Alex you can't do this to yourself."

"Why not. I am never going to see her again. Have you ever lost anyone you loved more than anything else in the world and you lost them?"

"Alex you don't know that. And no I haven't love anyone that much and lost them, but I came close to losing the one person in the world who has been there for me." Patti looked at the ground and started to cry.

Alex just sat there. She hadn't even thought of how it effected Patti. "Patti...I..."

"Please Alex just get help. If not for you then for me. Please Alex."

Alex couldn't bare the way that she was looking at her. "Ok I promise." Alex hugged her best friend. "Just wondering, who found me?"

"I did."

"Oh." Alex paused. "I am so sorry."

Alex and Patti sat there for hours just talking about how Alex could get help. How she could maybe see Marissa again. "So then I guess I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Yea, but you should sleep now. You are going to need your rest for rehab." Alex nodded, and Patti left. Left Alex all alone, to contemplate the things she has put her body through.

~*~(End Flash back)

~Chapter XI~

Alex sat on the bed in Marissa's arms crying still. Marissa tried her best to comfort her and take in what she had just told her. Alex stopped crying enough to sigh and start the story again.


Alex tried to sleep that night, but just couldn't. She had this weird feeling that if she did she might miss something or someone. By time she did finally fall asleep the sun began to rise. The yellows that mixed with the dark blues were just showing into her window, ever still keeping her from sleep. She decided to give it up and just find Steve and talk to him.

Alex walked around the hospital for a few minutes and then went back to her room deciding she wasn't strong enough to be walking much yet. She had really lost a lot of blood the other night. She sat back down on her bed and no sooner than that Steve walked into her room.

"Hey I see you're awake."

"Yea...um about that."

Steve knew what she was going to say and cut in. "Alex you should wait at least until next week."

Alex just nodded. She laid down on the bed and looked up at Steve. "Alex try and get some rest ok." He said as he walked out of the room.

A week had past and Alex was feeling up to par to leave and head for rehab, or counseling whatever she was going for. Alex gathered her stuff and packed a suit case and left with Patti.

"Alex don't worry they have the best institution in the area. I promise I'll come and see you on the weekends."

"I know it's a good facility Patti, you forget I have recommended it too many times. I just never thought I would end up here."

"Al you aren't ending up here, you are visiting. you'll be out in no time, as long as you stay on track."

"I know."

"Ok so you got everything?"

"Yea, I think so."

"Good. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok." Alex said as tears rolled down her cheeks."

"What's this?"


"Yea. No crying missy."

"I can't help it. I...just...Thank you."

"What for?"

"For being here for me."

"Oh Al. I will always be here for you. You know that. I love you. You are my best friend and that won't change. Now you get you're scrawny little butt in there and get better ok?"

"Yea." Alex hugged Patti and watched as she drove away in her car. Alex walked inside and the nurse showed her to her room.

"This way. You'll like the rooms. They are so nice." Alex followed her not saying a word till they got to her room. “Well her you are sweetie."

Alex nodded her head and walked into her room, closing the door behind her. She placed her suit case in the corner and sat on the bed. She sat there for a few minutes until she started to cry. She placed her head in her hands and cried endlessly for hours. She cried so hard she ended up crying herself to sleep that night.

~Chapter XII~

Alex awoke the next morning with the worst headache known to man, or at least she thought. Had she really done that much crying to make her feel like crap? Yea she had definitely felt like crap. Alex arose from the bed and got dresses and left her room. She walked down the hall and into the counselor’s office.

"Please, have a seat Miss Kelly."

Alex sat and stared at the floor. "I know this can be hard for some people, but I think you can be out of here quick. I know that you have had your share of disappointments, and that that's one thing that bothers you. We are going to try and fix that for you. We will spend twice a day in this room trying to pin point the reasons that you did what you did, and we will make you over come those obstacles and get you back to your friends and family in no time at all." Alex only nodded.

"Rules are simple. No razors, scissors, or anything sharp that you can cut yourself with. Showers every other day. 15 minutes per person, no longer. In bed by nine everyday until you are told other wise. Simple enough?"

"Umm sure."

"Ok so shall we get started?"

"I guess."

"Ok well let's see. What is it that you see wrong with you?"

"I see that I don't have the one person I ever truly loved, and it's all my fault that I don't. She is the reason I hate myself, because I gave up on what we had, too soon. And I want to take everyday of that back and just be with her again."

"How long has it been?"

"Three years."

"Wow, ok how long have you done this?" She pointed to her arm.

"Since the week after our three year anniversary of being away from each other."

"Ok. And you don't think you will ever see her again?" Alex shook her head. "Why not?"

"Because I screwed it all up for us. Her mother, me, her, Ryan. All of it played a huge roll in our destruction."

"Ok. We are getting far but I am afraid we will have to continue tomorrow, but if you keep up this progress you'll be out by the middle of next week."

Alex got up from her seat and thanked her and went back to her room and lay on her bed. She thought about Marissa all the time, she couldn't get her out of her head. Alex missed her so much. She hadn't eaten today at all because she wasn't hungry and went to bed around 7 falling asleep again to the sounds of her soft cries.

~Chapter XIII~

Alex woke up in the middle of the night like she has done many times since she left Newport. Alex lay there looking at the ceiling thinking of the song she listened to recently.

"Going Crazy"

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same ohh baby, nooo
When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go
I just broke down (down)

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
Cuz the feeling that I feel within
No other man would ever make me feel so right
Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me
I miss the way you hold me tight

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

[Chorus 2x]
Thats right baby I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you its been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat
Every time we speak, I can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me
And you love me I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you I'll put it down be the woman for you

I'm falling so deep for you crazy over for you
I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?
It's true, no fronting
Its you and no other i can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down (down)

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

[Chorus 2x]
Thats right baby I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Ohhh, ohhh....
Crazy... lady..... lately....
Ohhh ohhh.....
Ohh ohhh ohhhhhh

Alex could remember that song by heart now. She knew it almost as well as she knew the back of her hand maybe even better. Alex lay there singing the song to herself, crying. Would she ever get Marissa back?

She couldn't sleep at all, so she got up went to get a shower and came back to her room. When she walked into her room her counselor was waiting for her. Alex stepped into her room and closed the door.

The counselor looked at Alex. "This is something that really bothers you isn't it?"

"Yea it is." Alex stepped towards the closet. "You never told me your name."

"Oh I am sorry. Its Leana, Leana Tompson." Leana held her hand out waiting for Alex to take it.

"Hi." Was all Alex said and turned back to her closet, taking out a t-shirt and shorts. She walked over tot he dresser taking out a pair of panties and a bra. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Not very friendly are you?"

"I just am not eager to trust. the last time I trusted anyone I got my heart broken."

"Ahh the hard exterior thing."

"Yea I guess you could say that."

"Well then we will have to break down those walls won't we?"

"Sure I guess." Alex walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bed and went to comb her hair.

"Here let me help." Leana sat down taking the brush from Alex. She slowly began to brush her hair, making sure to not pull any. "So you want to finish our talk from earlier?"


"Ok go ahead."

"Well like I said, her mom and Ryan mainly cause a lot of problems for us."

"What happened?"

"Well her mom was a witch. She was always trying to control Marissa. She told her when to be home and what to do. How to do things and which way to do them all. When Marissa told her mom about us, she thought it was a phase. Marissa moved out and in with me. After that her mom would do anything to get us to break up. She was persistent as hell too. She even got Ryan, Marissa's ex to try and come between us. But unfortunately that kind of worked." Alex looked to her hands and remembered more and more of how much they hurt her and Marissa.


"Well that's when it happened. I felt Marissa start to slip away from me. One day she went to the mall with her best friend and they got locked in and she called me and said she was staying at her mom's. She wasn't though. She was with Ryan, Summer, and Seth. Ryan and her were in a tent together. She lied to me about it. That's when I threw a beer can at Ryan's head. And he took off, but came back. He walked in and said that I didn't deserve her and that they belonged together, at the time I actually thought he was right."

"Keep going."

"I went to the beach that night where Marissa was heading the bone fire and I talked with her, well after I brought ex convicts to kill Ryan. So she didn't say anything she just sat there. So I told her I was leaving and that I loved her and I always would, but she needed time. And I got up and walked away."



"You left just like that?"

"Yea, and now I regret everyday. Thinking maybe I could have done something different."

"No you did the right thing to give her space to think about what and who she wanted more."

"You think so?"

"Yea. Like people say if you love something let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be."

~*~ (back to real stuff now)

Alex remembered that last comment. She remembered it everyday of her life from that day on, even though she thought she would never see Marissa again. And here she sat in her arms.

"Alex why didn't you tell me before now?"

"Because I didn't want to lose you again."

"You won't I promise, just be honest with me."

"I will. I promise you."

"Ok, but I want to see them."


"The cuts on your arm."

"Oh..." Alex was a little reluctant as she lifted her sleeves of the robe and held out her wrists. There were four on each side from the bottom of her wrist to half way up her arm.

Marissa sat there looking at Alex's arms running her fingers over the scars. She couldn't believe that Alex loved her so much that she would try to kill herself because they weren't together. "I wish you would have called me."

"I am sorry."

"No, I am sorry. It's my fault you did this to yourself. It's my fault that you left me. It's my fault. I am sorry."

"No, Marissa it was my decision."

"But Alex, I was the reason you put behind that."

Alex couldn't deny that she was the reason she did it, but it wasn't all her fault. "Marissa..."

"Alex don't. I don't want to talk about it all anymore. I know what happened and that's fine with me I don't need to know anymore of your story unless you want to tell me."

~Chapter XIV~

Alex knew Marissa felt like she was to blame and part of Alex wanted to blame her. but it wasn't Marissa who cut her wrists, it was her, and as much as she wanted to blame it on her feelings for her she couldn't. "Marissa I just don't want you to think it's your fault."

"I know, but I know it was partially my fault because I let you walk away. I let you leave and I didn't stop you."

"Marissa you didn't put the blade to my wrists, I did."

"Maybe I didn't physically, but I did mentally."

"Marissa please don't."

"Alex, I love you, I always have and it is my fault all my fault for letting you go through it by yourself."

"It's not your fault."

"You say it's not but I am the reason you did it Alex."

"Yea you know what why did you take the drugs, why did you drink?"

Marissa was shocked. “I...I thought I lost you and it just seemed easier than living with the pain of knowing I let you go."

"Exactly, I walked away." Marissa couldn't believe her ears. "I...I am sorry Riss." Alex cried again.

"No it was my fault for pushing it, let's just sleep." Alex didn't answer she just continued to cry. They lay there the two of them nestled into each others' body. Engulfed in emotion, feeling betrayed and lost.

Marissa fell asleep fast. Alex however stayed awake most of the night, crying. She lay on Marissa's shoulder thinking of how much she just put her girlfriend through. "How in the hell can I do this to her again? Make her feel like it is her fault. I can't do this." Alex got up off Marissa slowly and walked to the closet.

Alex walked to the closet finding a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and grabbed a jacket and sneakers on her way out the door. "I can't do this to her anymore."

Alex walked the length of the street before stopping. She turned around, "If this is what I am doing then do I really love her that less to just walk away? Or am I just running?" Alex had to find an answer quick. She didn't need to she ran back tot he motel. She burst through the door to find a crying Marissa.

"What's wrong?"

"Alex why did you leave?"

"I was just clearing my head. I couldn't sleep." Alex bent down to a shaky Marissa and put her arms around her. "I won't leave you again I promise, my place is here with you, and to make it right."

Alex held Marissa until she fell asleep again. She gently lift her and carried her to the bed. And laid her down. Alex took her clothes off and got under the sheets with Marissa. She didn't sleep she just went back to the thoughts she had of the rehab center.


"So you think she'll come back then?"

"Of course, she'd be crazy not to." Alex smiled on the inside. She loved Marissa very much and wanted her back so badly. She really hoped that Leana was right.

"Don't worry Alex."

"How'd you?"

"How'd I know? I had a girlfriend too. She left me a year ago. What I wouldn't give to have her back."

"Who was she?"

"Her name was, Karlee."

"That's a pretty name."

"Yea but with a pretty name came a price. She was married."


"Yea, she and I were friends at the time and her husband beat her. She never left my house and one time I guess she just came on to me. And we hit it off. Of course her husband found it as another excuse to beat her. I tried to help her but it did no good."

"You never know."

"Yea I should follow my own advice."


Two days later after their little talk Alex did her homework on this Karlee girl. She had went to Harbor high. Which meant...OMG Marissa, she knew Marissa. She had to they graduated the same year. Alex called a phone number and got redirected again and again. She finally reached a person she knew.

"Is this Karlee?"


"I am Alex, I am sorry you don't know me but do you remember Leana?"




"I am taking that as a yes?"

"Ummm, yea."

"Ok well what happened between you two?"

"My husband that's who."

"Oh. And what if I told you I knew where to find her?"

"I'd ask you to tell me."

"Well I know where she is."

"You do?"


"You would tell me right?"

"Of course, but I have something I want."

"What's that?"

"You knew Marissa Cooper right?"

"Yea, she was a snobby prep."

"No she wasn't."

"Yes she was. That is until she became a les."

"Well do you happen to know where she is?"

"No, I don't know. And I am sure you wouldn't want to anyway."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because she is trouble."

"You don't know her."

"I'd say I know her better than you."

"Well you don't."

"And how is that?"

"She was mine."

"You mean?"

"Yea that's what I mean, that's why I need to find her. I love her you need to understand that if I could do it all again I would never leave her like I did."

"So you're the reason she dropped out?"


"She dropped out with three weeks left."

"Are you serious?"

"Yea. She did however go right into college. She just couldn't stay here with all the reminders of you."

"So then where is she now?"

"I honestly don't know, she did say something about NY though."

"Ok, umm thanks, here's the directions to the clinic. I am sure you'll want to see Leana."

"Yea, thanks a lot."

"Sure." Alex gave her the directions and hung up the phone.

Leana walked in just then. "Alex what are you doing?"

"I am sorry I had to use the phone."

"I told you not to use the phone."

"I know I am sorry."

"It's ok, but say something next time."

"Ok. Can I ask you a question?"


"What would you do if you could see Karlee again?"

"Are you kidding?"


"I don't know. Hug her, kiss her. I don't know." Leana sat down.

"What if I told you you could?"

Leana looked at Alex. "You mean, you found..."

"Yea I did. She's coming tomorrow."

"Oh Alex I can't thank you enough."

"Well I could think of one way."


"Get me out of here. I have to find Marissa."

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"Yea I am I have to find her."

"Ok, go."


"Yea here take my jeep, if you give me a few hundred you can keep it."

"Thanks.” Alex smiled and grabbed her things leaving.


~Chapter XV~

Alex lay on the bed awake still, the sun beginning to rise over the horizon. She knew it wouldn't be long before they would have to travel again. She wondered how Leana and Karlee were. She wanted to see Leana before they left. Alex tried to call the clinic.

"Hi is Leana Tompson there?"

"Just a moment could you hold?"



"Leana pick up line one."

"Ok thanks Dona."




"Yea who is this?"

"It's Alex."

"Oh, hey how are you?"

"I am ok. How are you and Karlee?"


"Do you think maybe you have time to meet up with me later?"

"Sure I get off at noon, if you want to meet me here in the parking lot."

"Yea that's fine."

"You don't mind if I bring Karlee?"

"Of course not. I am bringing my girlfriend too."

"Ok so I'll see you at noon then?"


Alex hung up and tried to get to sleep. She tossed and turned for hours until Marissa finally realized that she was up and not able to sleep. She rolled over and put her arms around Alex trying to help her sleep. Which finally worked around 6am.

~Chapter XVI~

Alex woke up at 10:30 realizing that Marissa was gone. She sat up and looked to the note on the side stand. "Hey baby, I went for some breakfast. See you soon."

Alex smiled to herself and decided to get in the shower while Marissa was out. As Alex stepped into the steam she hear the door unlock. She let it go waiting for Marissa to come in and washed her hair.

"Baby, I am back."


Marissa walked to the bathroom and undressed. She silently stepped in behind Alex startling her when she put her arms around her. "I am sorry babe."

"It's ok. Hey I called Leana last night. She wants to meet for lunch around noon."

"Ok." Marissa said as she held Alex close to her.

"Babe I need to finish washing."

"Oh do you now?"

"Yes, I do. But when I am done...." Alex didn't have to say another word before she felt Marissa loosen her grip and rinse where Alex had applied soap. Alex felt amazed, Marissa had done this before but, wow. Alex let a moan escape from her luscious lips and Marissa continued to massage her body.

"You like this baby?"

Alex didn't say a word she just moaned. Marissa kissed her neck while still attempting to rinse her body of soap. Alex couldn't handle much more of this. She wanted her now. Alex turned around to face Marissa and kissed her lips. Marissa was still caressing her body. Slowly she moved down Alex's body leaving tender kisses until she reached her heat. Marissa licked slowly, gently. Alex gasped at the sensation she felt. Marissa then put her hands on the back of Alex's ass and pulled her into her mouth sucking. Alex nearly lost her balance as she tried to steady herself against the shower wall. Marissa sucked harder and faster. "Oh God Marissa!" Alex screamed out of her mouth flopping against the wall of the shower, breathing so heavy she couldn't catch her breath.

Marissa smiled as she continued to gently lick as Alex rode out her orgasm. Marissa slowly moved up her body finding her mouth once again, picking her chin up and kissing her passionately. "I love you Alex Kelly."

"I love you too."

Alex slumped against Marissa for support until she felt her strength come back to her legs and she could stand. They stayed in the shower a bit longer just washing each other and then got out. It was 11:30. "Shit we have to leave, it'll take a half hour to get there."

Alex and Marissa dressed quickly, both in a pair of jeans and a tube top with Alex in a jean jacket and Marissa grabbed a fleece. They ran out to the jeep and got in with Alex driving. Alex did the speed limit there just making it in time to catch Leana coming out of the office with someone.

~Chapter XVII~

Alex parked her jeep getting out to meet Leana half way and hugging her. They said their hello's before Alex introduced them to each other and Leana introducing her girlfriend. "This, is Marissa."

"Hi, I have heard so much about you from Alex. She really loves you."

"I know I am lucky to have her." Marissa smiled and took her hand.

"So this must be Karlee?" Alex asked.

"Yea. Nice to meet you in person Alex." They all shook hands and acquainted themselves with one another and got into Alex's jeep and headed to the restaurant. They were sat at a table behind everyone else's close to the back.

"So, how have you both been Alex?" Leana said as she ordered her water and a coke for Karlee.

"We're great...water thanks...both of us are." Marissa ordered an iced tea, then took Alex's hand. "What about you two?"

"We're good."

"Good." Alex leaned towards Marissa and whispered in her ear. "Would you mind giving me a few minutes alone with Leana to catch up and everything?" Marissa nodded and excused herself from the table as did Karlee obviously knowing what Alex had asked her. The two of them headed off for the bathroom.

"So did she leave him?"

"Her husband? Yea a long time ago. I never really got to thank you enough Alex. You brought me back a life time of love."

"I am sorry for just leaving the way I did."

"No I told you to. And I knew you would be alright because you went to find her and you did."

"Yea I did, but it hasn't been long."

"Really? How long has it been?"

"A few months, close to half a year."


"Yea, I wish I would have found her sooner but I hadn't. I'm glad I have her though. I almost lost her again."

"How's that?"

"She was in a car accident. I was the EMS who treated her. I didn't realize who she was until she looked up at me with those beautiful eyes of hers."

"Wow. What happened?"

"Long story, maybe we could have lunch this week. We are staying a few days."

"Yea sure."

"So you and Karlee doing really well then?"

"Yea we are. We are going to get married I think."

"That's great I'm happy for you."

"Me too."

Marissa walked out as if on cue and sat next to Alex with Karlee following. Marissa and Karlee talked for a wile getting to know each other and everything. The waiter came back with their drinks and they ordered. They ate and then left. Alex drove them back to the office and then drove back to the motel.

"Marissa, could we stay the week you think?"

"Yea I don't have a problem with that. What's up?"

"I just wanted to catch up with Leana this week. Talk to her about some stuff you know."

"Sure Alex." Alex and Marissa went inside and Alex was so tired that she went in and laid down on the bed with Marissa. She was asleep within minutes of putting her head on the pillow. Marissa just laid there looking at her though. Admiring her beauty.

~Chapter XVIII~

After the sun rose the next morning Alex was awakened by the sun slipping through the curtains. She looked over at Marissa who had held her all night. She smiled, Marissa was so good to her. She loved her so much and never wanted to lose her again. Alex propped herself up on her and watched Marissa sleep. Alex got up reluctantly and got in the shower. She got out a few minutes later and dressed leaving Marissa a note.

Marissa woke up a few hours later and saw the note after sitting up.



Went to meet up with Leana. I’ll see you at dinner time.



Marissa smiled to herself and laid back down to get a few more hours of sleep.

Alex walked into the clinic early that morning and went in to see Leana. “Alex?”

“Hey Leana. Can I ask you something?”


“Where did you get the ring to propose?”

“King’s Jewelers, why?”

“Because I want to propose to Marissa.”

“Oh.” She smiled. “That’s great Alex you really should.”

“Yea problem is I don’t know what to get her I was wondering if you could help me?”

“Sure you know I would.”

“Thanks, meet me there at noon and we’ll go for lunch too?”

“Sounds great.”

~Chapter XIX~

Around lunch time Alex was waiting at King’s for Leana and she was there right on time. “Hey Al. You ready?”

“Yea I am.”

The two of them walked into the store and looked around. “Ok so what are you looking for?”

“Something beautiful to match her beauty.”

Leana laughed. “Well I don’t know Al is there anything that will?”

“No…good point.” Alex laughed.

They continued looking around finding different rings that Alex really liked. Many would fit Marissa but she wanted the perfect one and wanted to look all over town. “Hey Leana a lot of these are great but I want to look around more. Are there any other jewelers around?”

“Yea there’s Lenoxx, Marybay’s, and a few others. But they’ll have to wait I have to get back now.”

“It’s fine, how about one a day till I find the ring I want to get for her?”

“Sounds good.”

“That is if I ever find one.”

“Don’t worry you will.”

“Thanks Leana. I really appreciate you doing this for me.”

“No problem Al.”

“Do you need a ride?”

“Yea actually I do I took the bus.”

Alex and Leana laughed. “The bus, man that’s out of style. That was so last year.”

“Shut up you. Just give me a ride.” They laughed again.

“Ok, come on.”

~Chapter XX~

After running around for days on end Alex finally found the perfect ring for Marissa. It wasn’t a diamond but it was beautiful just the same. It was her birth stone and it was more beautiful than any diamond. It was cut as a heart and placed in a 10 kt gold band.

“Al that’s beautiful she’s going to love it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Thanks again Leana.”

“No problem Al honestly after what you did for me I would do anything for you.”

“Thanks. You’re a great friend. I don’t know what I’d do with out you.”

“You’d be lost.” They laughed.


“What are you still doing here girl. Go take her to dinner and propose.”

Alex laughed. “You’re right I’ll see you later.”

“Ok, now scoot.”

“I’m going.” Alex started running.

“Good luck!” She yelled.

Alex turned around. “Thanks.”

~Chapter XXI~

Alex was back at the hotel and getting things ready while Marissa was out shopping. Alex had got her a gift card for the hottest store in town that way she could set up for the proposal. Everything had to be perfect if it wasn’t Alex would change it. Everything looked so good to her but still something was missing.

“Something’s missing I can feel it.” She looked around. “Music! That’s it.” Alex grabbed an easy listening cd from her bag and put it in the small cd player they brought with them. She walked around lighting the few candles she needed to and set everything in place and went into the bedroom to call Marissa.

“Hey baby.”

“What if I wasn’t the one calling you?”

“Oh well then I guess I’d either have one pissed off or very happy person on my hands.”

Alex laughed. “How soon you coming home?”

“I’m in the car now.”

“Great see you soon?”


Marissa threw her phone to the seat of Alex’s jeep and pulled into the drive way of the hotel. She shut the jeep off and walked up to their room. She noticed that the door was ajar and she pushed it open a small crack.


“I’m here just come in.”

Marissa walked in through the door and heard the music and saw the candles lit. She looked around smelling the sweet smell of rosemary chicken and pasta. “Alex? What are you doing?”

“I’m getting dressed.” Alex laughed. She pulled her shirt on grabbed the small ring and went out to the kitchen. “Sit down so I can get dinner.”

Marissa sat in the chair. “What do you have planned?”

“A lot.” Alex took the chicken out of the oven.

“Umm that smells good.”

“I should hope so I spent three hours in this tiny ass kitchen. Alex served up plates as Marissa laughed at her awkwardness, “Are you nervous?”

“Yes.” She put the plates down.




“Marissa just eat and enjoy it ok?”

“Sure Alex, I am sorry I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“You didn’t.” Alex sat down and pulled the ring out of her pocket and held it in her hand waiting for Marissa to finish her dinner.

“You aren’t eating?”

“Not yet.”

Marissa took a sip of wine and put her fork on the plate and looked at Alex. “What do you mean?”

Alex slipped the ring to Marissa and stood up getting on one knee in front of her. “Marissa, I love you with all that I am. Every piece of me belongs to you and you alone. I want to spend the rest of my days and nights by your side. I want to watch the sun rise and set in your eyes. Marissa Cooper I want to make you the happiest woman alive. Will you marry me?”

Marissa sat there speechless as she looked from the ring and back to Alex. “I…um.. Of course I will.” Alex stood up taking her into a long and passionate kiss.


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