Title: To Tell or Not to Tell, That is the Question

Author: Carla

Email: cmfloresfd@yahoo.com

Feedback: welcome and needed.

Rating: G

Pairing: S/B

Disclaimers: The only thing of value I own is my cat, Cider so if TPTB that own Popular and its characters want him they are free to try and get him. After all there is only so much blood you can get from a stone.

Note:This came to me after reading someone's (I can not remember whose) post this morning. So thanks for the inspiration.

To Tell or Not to Tell

"This is getting sort of old, you know."

"I know."

"We should just say something. Don't you think? I mean they love us, they wouldn't kick us out or anything. I hope not I couldn't deal with being a "throwaway".

"OH and I suppose that I could, I think not."

"No I guess not."

"Look I love you Sam, you know that right?"

"Yeah and I love you too, but that doesn't mean that everyone else has to know. Not now. And especialy not them."

"there's a limit to how understanding two people can be.. and frankly I just can't picture that family meeting :

"Mom, Mike we want you to know we love you very much and that we love each other".

"That's good Sam, we love you and its good to finally see you and Brooke getting along so nicely, it's good to see you finally acting like sister's. Mike and I had our doubts at times about whether you two were ever going to see the light." Meanwhile Mike just sits there nodding his head.

"No you don't get "IT" do you. Mike, I love your daughter, she loves me we are in love with each other."

"That's it you two are grounded, so grounded in fact that you will go to school and come home and that is that. You will not spend time in each others room unless the door is open and now I am going to go to the garage and get some nails to nail the door to the bathroom from Sam's side of the room shut." Mike gets up and storms out to the garage.

"Please tell me that you two are joking, please or barring that please tell me you haven't had sex….You haven't had sex, right? Oh God you have had sex."

"MOM, boundaries please."

"Don't talk to me about boundaries young lady. If you had any concept of boundaries you wouldn't have fallen in love with your sister. "fallen in love" you're too young to know what that means anyway… this is just a phase or how about just a really bad joke?

"I see your point. I really do but I also hate feeling like I'm lying to them all the time. I am proud of you Sam, and proud of us."

"and I just need more time, please Brooke? I promise we'll tell them just not right now. This is still kind of new to us, to me and I want to savor it and hoard it all to myself just a little while longer. I want some more very good times with you before the shit hits the fan."

"Yes, before the shit hits the fan."

That Certain Glow

Note:  (( )) indicates unspoken thought

~~~~~

Sam's Journal:

Sometimes in the cocoon we make for ourselves we choose to be blind, deaf and dumb. Perhaps that should read numb.

If I am honest with myself I can acknowledge that I'm scared, nervous and confused. I am not confused about loving Brooke. I know I do. But I am well and truly scared and nervous about what people will say.

No, not "people", "PEOPLE"... Mike and Jane. The 'rents. What's the harm in not saying anything. I don't want to be kicked out or more likely sent away. Away from home, my home with Brooke. My HOME, Brooke. She is my home.

Lord, I'm rambling but isn't that what journals are for?

Brooke's Journal:

Maybe the reason I think everything will work out fine is that I've always gotten my way. I've always had Dad wrapped around my finger. He wouldn't hurt me and well Jane loves Sam with all her being. She would accept us, me and Sam, eventually.

But Sam is right, first would come the big freak out. The shit hitting the fan as it were. Funny but the shit I'm worried most about is at school. Nicole and popularity. My best friend and my position. According to Cosmo I can have it all. I want it all. My Sammy, my friend, Sam, popularity, Sam and my parents' love and acceptance.

Maybe people will just notice on their own and we won't actually have to "come out". Ah yes the passive-agressive method strikes again.

Jane lay in bed thinking about the girls. They had been getting along so much better lately, much much better. In fact suspiciously so.

"Mike, honey"

"Hmm?"

"Have you noticed anything different about the girls lately?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm serious Mike somehtings changed with them. They seem so much closer somehow."

"Didn't we want that? For them to act like sisters, to feel like sisters. To care about each other and be good to each other. Or barring that not killing each other." (Jeez I don't get women sometimes, if the girls aren't killing each other its not good and if they engage in WWIII in the living room nightly that's not good either.) Maybe it was the hormones talking afterall Jane was pregnant.

"Yes, yes we did. I do. It's just .... something isn't quite right. Something's 'off' but I can't put my finger on it."

"You think they're hiding something from us?"

"Of course they are , they're teenagers aren't they? The question is what is it?"

Mike's brow furrowed, " you don't think ...? " he muttered gesturing towards Jane's very pregnant belly.

"Pregnant, no not Sam."

"Brooke?" (Oh please not my little girl.)

"Well she does have that 'glow'"

Kennedy High - The Cafeteria

"I'm telling you she's pregnant."

"What !! Who's preggers?" Harrison asked as he sat down.

"Carmen how could you say that!"

"I'm telling you she's got the glow"

"Glow, what glow? Sam's got a beautiful complexion. She always glows, okay sometimes she glowers but glow still figures in there. Not that I think about Sam being glowly and all. 'Cause I don't think about Sam that way, not that there is anything wrong with thinking about Sam that way" Lilly stammered out.

Harrison and Carmen just stared at her open mouthed, like guppies gasping for air.

(Oh, Lord now they'll guess. So what, so I'm crushed out, big time, on one of my closest friends. Not that she would ever notice.)

"Well Harrison what do you think? I think that Lilly here is suffering from an unrequited crush."

"Whatever, Sam is not, cannot possibly be pregnant."

"And why is that?"

"Because that "glow" you were talking about, that isn't the pregnant glow, that's the same glow my mom had when she fell in love."

"Harrison your mom fell in love with another woman."

"I know, but the point is she fell."

The bell for the next period rang and the trio got up, emptied their trays and went to their respective classes, each still thinking about the conversation at lunch.

(So, Lilly likes girls or should I say girl, Sam. Why not me? I thought I was her best friend. What the hell am I thinking?)

(( Am I some kind of lesbian magnet or what? Are there no more heterosexual women in this town? First my mom and now Sam.))

((( I wonder where Sam was at lunch? For that matter where was Brooke? Now that I think about it, wherever or whenever Sam isn't neither is Brooke.)))

Kennedy High -- The Novack

The door swung open framing Nicole Julien in all her predatory glory. Those unfortunate souls who happened to be using the facilities left as quickly as possible. No need to stay and be crushed under Nicole's heels, she already thought of them as roaches and everyone knew it was safest out of the line of fire. After all very few high school egos could handle such utter contempt without crumbling.

After everyone but Brooke had cleared out Nicole spoke:

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what, Nic? I tell you everything."

"No, you don't"

"Oh, well what do you think I haven't told you?"

"About this new guy in your life. Is he older, alot older? Not from Kennedy? or perhaps he's a she?"

"What?"

"I know"

"Know what? what do you think you know?"

"About Spam"

"Sam, her name is Sam, Nic."

"Whatever, the look on your face says it all. You love her, you're 'IN LOVE' with her."

Brooke looked at Nicole in the mirror, her eyebrows arching in an unasked question.

"I hope she's worth it"

"She is, okay."

"Okay" Nicole turned away and walked toward the door.

"Nicole?"

Nicole stopped but did not turn around.

"How did you know?"

"I didn't for sure, til now. I saw you two at the movies a few days ago. You should be more careful, you never know who's sitting in the row behind you. And well I picked up on some vibes"

"This is just between us right? You wouldn't use this to hurt me, would you?"

"No, Brooke, I wouldn't hurt you about this. If you're happy then that's good enough for me."

With that Nicole exited the Novack she never turned around and did not look back, afraid that Brooke would see the tears in her eyes. She could hear her heart breaking as she walked away.

The Doctor Is In... (Nicole POV)

Everyone thinks I'm the Uber-bitch of Kennedy High, that I have no feelings. And maybe it's true that there's no love lost between the masses and me but I do have feelings and I do hurt. I am not above it all. It's just hard to share.

I am a trophy. Nothing more than that, mother's, the family…. My friends. All my friends, except Brooke that is. Brooke TRULY is my friend. I could never hurt her, not really. This `thing' with Spam, well obviously it means a lot to Brooke. I don't understand it, I don't like it but like I told Brooke if it makes her happy well that's good enough for me. Good enough for me not to hurt her with it.

I mean I know I've hurt her in the past but it was never intentional. I always meant well in a twisted sort of way.

But here's the deal `Freud', if I'd ever thought that there was even the remotest chance that Brooke was into girls….well I'd have given it a shot.

I know she loves me but she's `IN LOVE' with Spam, Sam. God I'm going to have to learn to at least be civil to the little muckraker. Truth, the truth is that I can so totally see what Brooke sees in her physically at least. The girl is hot; she's got these lips that just look like their waiting to be kissed all the time. And she does this thing with her tongue…. Lets just say she's probably a natural when it comes to that tongue and the things I'm sure she does to Brooke with it.

I noticed you looking at your watch. Is our time up or are my `adolescent problems' boring you spitless.

"No our time is up. I'll see you day after tomorrow, same time."

Sure Freud, whatever.

Nicole, you may call Dr. Smythe or Debra even but do not call me `Freud'. Oh, and Nicole your `adolescent problems' do not bore me spitless.

The Nose Knows

A/N: If any of you know of or recognize the old radio show "The Shadow" then the title will make sense.

~~~~~

"Nicole knows"

"The nose knows what?"

"The Nose?"

"Nevermind, bad joke"

"Sam, be serious please"

"Okay so Satan, sorry, Nicole `KNOWS' what exactly does she know"

"About us, me and you, together…"

"How?" Sam interrupted.

"She saw us at the movies. She "SAW" us. As in `pawing, moaning and groaning in the movie theater…. I, no WE, put on a goddamn porno show."

"Whoa! Brooke slow down, calm down. Now let's talk about things calmly." Sam inhaled deeply, held it for the count of ten and then exhaled explosively. Then she did it again, and again and again. She also started pacing and flapping her arms around. On her fifth or sixth lap around the room Sam stopped dead in her tracks, spun around and hissed "Nicole knows, that's just great, how's she going to use this huh? `Cause Brooke you know she will. I'm not ready for people to know. Are you? Are you ready to tell Mom and Mike? `Cause I thought we agreed to keep this between `us' a while longer and I so do not appreciate you moving up the time table on me"

Brooke looked at Sam incredulously, her eyes getting wider and her voice rising with each word that came out of her mouth. " What did you want me to do Sam. I tried acting like I had no idea what she was talking about but she saw through me. She saw us; she's not stupid you know. Any way Nic promised that she wouldn't say anything."

Sam snorted "Oh suuuuuuuurrrrrrrrreeeeeee, Satan `promised'. Brooke I wouldn't trust that she-devil as far as I could throw her."

"Great she weighs more than you think, I should know."

Sam laughed and suddenly the tension of the last few minutes lowered dramatically. The girls sat down on Sam's bed, their shoulders not quite touching. After some time the keen observer would have noticed the inevitable result of the girls' proximity to one another. Slowly but surely each girl leaned in slightly toward the other till their shoulders barely touched. The slight contact serving to give each girl a sense of security, love and strength. A centering of sorts.

After some time had passed Brooke finally broke the silence. "Sammy trust me, trust Nic, don't ask why because I couldn't explain it if I tried. But I just `know' she's not going to use this. Something else, sure, but this…." Brooke shook her head gently from side to side "not this."

"I hope so, I sure do."

After a minute or so Sam got up. Wordlessly she went to the door and thumbed the lock. She leaned her head against the door; her hair completely hid her face and muffled her voice. "I love you, you know that. I am not ashamed of that, of you, but I am scared. I'm scared to say it. I'm not sure. You seem so sure, Brooke."

The blonde slipped her arms around Sam's waist and pulled the brunette closer to her. "Sure about what Sam? I'm sure that I love you, that I want a life with you, that you make me laugh like no one else can and that you challenge me like no other. I'm sure that you and I will grow old together. We'll go to college and live together and we'll have our ups and downs like any other couple. I'm sure of all those things."

"I want those things too. I really do, now. But what if it changes, what if you realize that you really do want to be with a guy, that you really are straight? What if I realize that?"

"Sam I'm gay, that won't change. I promise. The only reason I would want to be with a guy would be for his genetic contribution to our offspring. Ours, yours and mine. Or is it that what you're really scared of is that you think you might not be gay. Is that it? `cause its okay to have doubts and it would even be okay if there were guys, if you were bi. I could handle that, I might not be crazy about it but I think I could handle it."

"I don't want to take on some label Brooke. I love you why can't that be enough."

"It is enough. Between you and me it is enough. You never have to label yourself for me Sam. Or for anyone else, as far as I'm concerned. We don't have to call ourselves anything, or tell anyone. I'm sure that they'll figure it out on their own. But we should tell Jane and Dad, we owe them that at the very least. And I'm not willing to hide from them forever. I'm not rushing you, do you hear that? But it is something we should do before say…our wedding day."

Me and Julia Down by the School Yard

A/N: I hope you don't think this sucks.

~~~~~

Outside Kennedy HS - 8:30 AM

"Hey Brooke, wait up. I wanted to ask you something."

"Nic! You're back, how was your trip?"

"OK, NY is great, good clubs, hot guys incredible shopping, what more could a girl want? On the other hand I had to spend all that time trapped in a flying tin can with that woman."

"Your mother?"

Nicole nodded. "You know the irony is that your girlfreind calls me Satan but if she'ld ever meet my mother and could witness the depths of her depravity ... well then she'ld really know Satan. God! 6 hours of listening to her go on and on about how selfish, lazy, manipulative, controlling, ungratful, stupid, spiteful, promiscous, deisrespectful and worthless I am."

Brooke put her arm around the shorter girl. "Oh Nic, I'm sorry. Was she drinking?"

"Are you a dyke? Of course she was drinking what else is new. Is it any wonder I'm in therapy 3 times a week? Anyway, I was wonder, see when I was in NY I saw all these posters for the International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival, and well the LA Festival starts this weekend. I got a program and well I was wondering if maybe you and the 'Significant Other'..."

"That sounds terrific Nic, I can't speak for Sam but definitely you and I will go see something. Speaking of movies I rented "But I'm a Cheerleader" last night. How about you come over after practice and we'll watch it. I miss spending time with you one on one. No Mary Cherry or Poppy or anyone else for that matter."

Nicole Julian beamed at Brooke's words. "Thanks Brooke, for saying that I mean, I miss that too. The last couple of months you've been so wrapped up in Sam... and I guess I'm kind of jealous. I wish I had that too. You know when I watch the two of you together I just don't understand how anyone can miss it, the two of you."

Actually Sam thinks Lily's figured it out. She's been hinting around at it with Sammy. They're doing the after school thing today and Sam thinks she's going to say something. Come out you know. Oh there's the bell we'd better hurry."

Kennedy HS -- 3:30 PM

Lily stood outside the newspaper office her heart racing wildly. She'd been there for a good 5 minutes, her fear and anxiety visible for all to see. Finally gathering all of her courage to her, she knocked on the door and then pushed it open.

"Hey Lily ready to head out?"

"I am if you are"

"Just let me finish this up. It'll take me a few minutes."

"Sure, no rush. What's the next expose about?"

"Expose? Oh no this is the finishing touches on my early admit applicationto Columbia."

"Columbia, as in NY, NY Columbia?

"Yep"

"Does Brooke know?"

"Of course she does... I mean I'm sure we've talked about it. That's what sisters do isn't it?"

(Sam Sam Sam so adorable when you're flustered)"I think we should get out of here and talk Sam. So why don't you go finish up so we can close up shop and hit the road."

(She knows, I know she knows, that's ok I was going to tell her anyways. And shit she's right about Brooke, college. Damn I really, really want to go to Columbia. Brooke's got terrific grades, she could get in and it's not like Mike can't afford to send her there. Still I should speak with Brooke)

Sam turned off the copmuter and swiveled around to face Lily who was engrossed in a magazine. She touched the other girl's shoulder to get her attention.

"Let me finish this article and I'll be ready"

Sam went around the room making sure that all was in order and that everything was turned off.

"I'm going to get a drink of water..."

"All done, let's go"

"What were you reading?"

"Just an article about being gay and out at different colleges. It was interesting. I got this magazine, Curve, the other day... I'll let you have it when I'm done"

"Thanks"

Lily closed the door behind them. There was a long silence as they walked towrds the school exit.

"I wasn't trying to imply..."

"I didn't think so Lily. It's true though."

"So you are gay? And you're with Brooke?"

"Actually I'm not sure and yes."

"Is that 'I'm not sure I'm gay and yes I'm with Brooke or is that 'Yes I'm gay and I'm not sure if I'm with Brooke'?"

"The first one"

"Are you happy? With Brooke, I mean?"

"Very, sometimes I can't beleive it's not obvious to everyone. I feel so 'blatant'"

"I noticed a few months ago, so did Harrison and Carmen. Well they noticed the fact that you're happy but I don't think they noticed the 'why' specifically."

The girls reached the exit, pushed open the doors and stepped out into the late afternoon sun.

"And how did you? Notice the 'why' that is?"

"Strong personal interest."

"Oh?"

"I'm sure"

"I see said the blind man."

The pair walked down the street.

"Lily I'm glad you told me. Funny thing is I was going to spill about me. Brooke and me, I mean."

"And I glad your happy with Brooke but Sam you need to talk to her about college, don't assume she want's the same thing you do."

"How did you get so wise my friend?"

"I'm only wise 'cause I care about you. I don't want to see you hurting if you can avoid it. I just want my friend to be happy."

"Thanks Lily that means alot to me you saying that and all."

Sam nudged her companion playfully. "So Little Latin Lupe anyone you've got your eye on?"

Lily shuddered "First off please, if you care for me at all, DO NOT refer to me as 'Little' anything. EEEEWWWWW it reminds me of Mary Cherry, you know, how she's always calling me 'Lil Lily', it just creeps me out, okay. Promise?"

"Oh I am so sorry, never again , I swear."

"Good. Secondly I'ld rather not say."

"Who?" Sam's voice took on a wheedling tone. "C'mon you can tell me."

"It's embarassing Sam, I'ld really rather not."

"Fine be that way." ( I'll just have to do some investigative work and use my keen powers of observation. )

"You doing anything this weekend?"

"Nah, nothing special. You?"

"The International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival starts this weekend, I thought I might check it out."

"I'll ask Brooke. That is if you don't mind her hanging out with us."

"Sure, yeah no problem."

I Am Just a Poor Boy or Does Your Mother Know

A/N: This story is set in my To Tell or Not to Tell universe. Like The Doctor Is In, it serves as an aside to the main arc. The title (and I could not choose which one to use) was inspired in part by Simon and Garfunkle's heartbreakingly beautiful song, The Boxer and also by ABBA's, Does Your Mother Know.

~~~~~

There was a knock on the door and then Harrison's voice could be heard through the door. "Can I come in?"

"Of course, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Could we talk? You said.when you told me about being.you said I could ask you anything and I know that I haven't been really good about this. About a lot of things really."

"Is everything all right?"

"How did you know that you were gay? How do you know when you're in love really in love? Was dad a lie?"

"Okay last things first. Your father, what I felt for him, that wasn't a lie. When I married your father I loved him, with all my heart. And while he and I didn't work out in the long run, my time with him was worth it `cause of you.

As for me being gay well I guess I've always known on some level. When I look back on things, well it seems fairly obvious to me now, but when I was...well I suppose...I suppose I didn't want to know or rather admit to myself that I was different. More different than anybody even thought. I was this skinny, awkward girl with glasses, I was really shy and I would just get tongue tied when anybody, any boy, talked to me and in a time when `good' people didn't get divorced my parents did. To top it all off, I was attracted to my best friend, Annalise, Lisa. Now I know that I was in love with her but back then I wouldn't have called how I felt about her `love'; I just `liked' her a lot. She was my best friend. But when we were together it seemed as if time just flew past and when we were apart time seemed to crawl almost to a stop, till we could be together again. Sometimes...whenever she would touch me it was like I couldn't breathe and my heart would start pounding so hard my chest hurt. I craved her touch however inadvertent it might be. We did everything together and I was miserable watching her go out on dates with a succession of boys. We went to the same college and roomed together; I would lie awake at night listening to her breath. Things changed in our junior year of college, I met your father and I was so relieved to realize that I liked him, was attracted to him and even better he liked me too. That was the same year that Lisa met the boy she eventually married, Warren. The four of us double dated often. When your father and I married Lisa was my maid of honor and Warren was your father's best man.

Even after I met your father and knew I loved him, even after I married him I still loved Lisa. We talked every day and after she moved to NYC we wrote every week as well.

When you were born she came out here and stayed a few weeks to help me out with you, in fact you were named after her. Her maiden name was Harrison. Her visit ended badly though, your father got very jealous of her, Lisa had divorced Warren and come out while she was in NY and your father was sure that she and I .We never did though, never."

"What ever happened to her?"

"Your father and Lisa had a big argument, she went back to NY and eventually we lost touch. I still miss her. A part of me still loves her.

Your father and I, we grew apart. Some of that was about me being gay but mostly it was about us, he and I, changing. People change and if they are lucky those changes enhance and strengthen their relationship, ours didn't. I hope that answers your questions, sweetheart."

"How do you know when someone is gay?"

"Gaydar. No, really unless I hear it from the horses mouth, so to speak, I don't `know' if someone's gay."

"I think something's going on with Brooke and Sam"

"What makes you think that?"

"I'm not sure, a hunch. Four months ago they'd have just as soon spit as look at each other. Now they come to school together, go home together and every time I ask Sam to do something, after school or on the weekend, she's either doing something with Brooke or going to meet Brooke after a game. Sam never used to go to any of the school games. Now she's there like clockwork, watching Brooke when she thinks no one is looking. As for Brooke the first person she looks for when she enters a room, after every game.the person she looks for is Sam. And Sam has this `glow', like an aura, that was never there before. Brooke has it too. It's the same one you had when you fell in love with Andrea. It just got me thinking is all."

"Well, honey, I wish I knew what to say to you. I know you care for Sam and I know you've always had a `thing' for Brooke. What I do know is that if what you think is in fact true, the girls will tell you eventually. Or maybe they're scared to say anything and you should just speak to them and ask them directly. And if it's true and they are a couple. well be happy for them, that they found each other."

"I guess so. I'll think about it some more. We'll see."

"Goodnight sweetie, I love you."

"I love you too Mom. I'm sorry that I've been such an ass lately. You just surprised me, you know. Everything I thought was one way got turned completely around and I didn't know how to handle that. I think maybe I understand a little better now. Goodnight, I love you."

The Runner Stumbles

A/N: This is set in my To Tell or Not to Tell universe. It takes place the same day as Me and Julia Down by the SchoolYard. I wasn't sure about the title but it just kept going through my head. (( )) Indicates unspoken thoughts.

~~~~~ 

"Hey Mom"

"Hi honey your home kind of late"

"Yeah Lily and I went for coffee and conversation after school and I guess we kind of lost track of time. I'm sorry if you worried."

"I wasn't worried yet but try to remember to call next time."

"Sure Mom. I don't see Brooke's car outside hasn't she come home yet?"

"She and Nicole came by after cheerleading practice and then they went to Nicole's to watch a video."

"Oh, well I'm going to head upstairs."

"Sam I want to talk to you."

Sam felt her pulse quicken and her breath caught in her chest. She wiped her suddenly damp palms on her jean-clad thighs. (( Oh Jesus! What if she asks? What am I going to say? I wish Brooke were here. We never talked about what happens if one of them asked. Shit! OK Sam calm down this could be nothing more than she misses me; we hardly ever have time alone especially since Mac was born. Yeah that's it. Please God I'm asking really nicely here. College would be a good topic that makes sense we haven't really talked that much about it at all. ))

Jane watched Sam's expression go from open to guarded to panicked and back to guarded again in less than a minute. (( I knew it! I knew something was going on with her. ))

"Can this wait, I've got a ton of homework and I have to work some more on my Columbia application."

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about, sweetheart."(( YES, yes, yes thank you God )) It was all the brunette could do to not jump up and down for joy. Sam sat down at the kitchen table across from her mother.

"Sure Mom. What about it? I know money's an issue but I really want to go to Columbia. I have excellent grades and I got a 1450 on my SATs; Mr. Rosen, my guidance counselor, says I should be a shoo in for a scholarship of some sort and I figure I can take out student loans for the rest."

"Columbia, oh Sam that's so far away. I was hoping you would go somewhere closer to home like UCLA or USC maybe. But if your heart is set on Columbia….well what's your 2nd and 3rd choice?"

"Second, University of Missouri and third Berkeley or University of Chicago. But Mom I really want to go to Columbia it's got the best undergraduate journalism program and you know what they say ` everyone should live in NYC for at least a year'."

"What about Brooke?"

"I don't know Mom you'll have to talk to her about that."

"What if she doesn't want to go that far away?"

"I don't know we'll work something out I guess."

Mother and daughter stared at each other across the kitchen table. Silence lay thick and heavy between them.

(( Shit I didn't mean to say that. Now what? ))

(( Oh God it's true. This is the `something' I've been sensing. Why couldn't she be pregnant that would be so much easier. What am I going to say to Mike? ))

Sam bolted out of the kitchen and up the stairs Jane hot on her heels. She reached Sam's door just in time for it to close in her face.

Sam stood with her back to the door desperately trying not to hyperventilate, her mind racing (( Shit Fuck DAMN! Brooke where are you? I didn't want it to be this way now what are we going to do? )) Slowly Sam sank to the floor, drawing her knees to her chest she let her head fall forward and began to rock back and forth.

Jane stood in the hallway unable to bring herself to knock on Sam's door. As her shock and dismay began to settle itself like a thick and heavy cloak around her shoulders she her a low keening wail come from her daughter's room.

Brooke came home some 30 minutes later and found Jane sitting in the dimly lit living room. "Hi Mom" she called out as she sailed through the living room. Jane did not respond.

"Jane? " No response again.

Brooke stood in front of Jane and snapped her fingers "JANE!"

Jane shook her head to clear the cobwebs "Oh Brooke, hi."

"Hi yourself, are you okay? Did something happen you look out of it?"

"Please don't hurt her." "Excuse me?"

"You love her don't you?" Comprehension dawned on Brooke and she took a seat on the sofa next to Jane.

"Yes I do, very much. And I love you very much too."

"Don't be coy with me Brooke. I'm not playing around here. I'm more serious than you can imagine. I'm not stupid, I've seen the way you two have been. I've known something was going on with you two. Honestly though I though one of you was pregnant especially when I found that home pregnancy kit box in your bathroom a few months back. Now I wish one of you was. I'll tell you what Brooke why don't you make my day, no make that my year, and tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you're not in love with Sam, that you really are pregnant because frankly I'd rather have to tell your father that he is going to be a grandpa." Jane's voice dropped to a barely audible whisper "How did this happen?"

"I don't know. I just know it did. I love Sam. I can't imagine my life without her. I don't want to imagine my life without her. She is my joy, the sun-filled sky I turn my face toward. The ocean whose depths I want to explore. She's my first though in the morning and my last one before sleep. She's who and what I think about when I eat the food that keeps me strong and healthy for her. And if she feels for me even a tenth of what I feel for her then I consider myself truly blessed."

As Brooke spoke Jane watched her face transform from that of the young girl she though she knew to that of a young woman utterly and completely in love, secure in the knowledge that she was loved in return. And in that instant of transformation Jane knew, as much as she wished it wasn't true; Brooke loved Sam and Sam loved Brooke. It was as simple in its complexity as that.