Title: "Chosen...again."

Author: Bwp Bard

Email: bwpbard@hotmail.com

Summary: Why Kennedy wasn't in the last scene of "Chosen".

I have to warn you, my native language is Danish, not English.

Rating: Sex and violence? I don't know yet, but maybe a bit angsty (who am I kidding? My stories are always angsty). NC-17 to be on the safe side.

The story is in some parts as close to the canon as I can get, but I have changed the order of the scenes and altered the plots to suit my purpose. Here and there I use chunks of original dialog from the show, sometimes in the right context, sometimes not. Dialog is borrowed from the transcripts on www.buffyworld.com.

Spoilers: season 5, 6 and 7.

Disclaimer: Don't own any of them.. sniff..

Hope you'll enjoy it and please tell me if you do. or don't.

Visit my home at: http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/bwpbard.htm

*****

Update

I wrote this story a couple of years ago – and stopped writing it in the middle of the sequel. It was the beginning of a major writer’s block. I began writing L WORD stories to try and get my focus back, but then inspiration got lost entirely and I stopped – and I was afraid it was gone for good.

Now my muse is back and for my own sense of “writer’s dignity” I have finished this story.

I have made small changed to the already posted stuff.

And as always: I have to warn you, my native language is Danish, not English.

Rating: Sex and violence?  NC-17 to be on the safe side - Denmark doesn’t operate with these terms, so they have no meaning to me.

The story is in some parts as close to the canon as I can get, but I have changed the order of the scenes and altered the plots to suit my purpose. Here and there I use chunks of original dialog from the show, sometimes in the right context, sometimes not. Dialog is borrowed from the transcripts on buffyworld.com.

Disclaimer: Don’t own any of them…. sniff….

Hope you’ll enjoy – or perhaps re-enjoy it  - and please tell me if you do… or don’t.

“Chosen…again.”

Why Kennedy wasn’t in the last scene of “Chosen”.

1: Waking up is hard to do

‘Fuck my head hurts!’ Her head was spinning like crazy and pain throbbed behind her eyelids, following a rapidly beating pulse. She had no idea where she was, she remembered holding onto a still very exhausted Willow right before Sunnydale sank into a smoking black crater. And then there was nothing.

She didn’t dare open her eyes. Where was Willow? And the others? Oh damn, her head felt like a bomb had exploded right between her ears.

‘Okay, I’m SO not a wimp, I’m a slayer and I REALLY need to know where I am!’

She opened her eyes with great difficulty and looked around with an uneasiness she wasn’t used to – at least not anymore.  Apparently she was lying on a soft bed. The room looked familiar somehow, but she couldn’t place it.

‘Okay, probably not dead, but this is weird, definitely weird.’

Carefully she moved her legs, then her arms. She seemed to be reasonably okay; nothing hurt much except her head. But something wasn’t right; she felt different but could quite pinpoint why that was.

“How are you feeling?” A soft voice caressed her ears; she hadn’t even noticed that she wasn’t alone in the room – so much for slayersenses. She turned her head to look at the owner of the voice, but had to stop the movement abruptly because of the extreme dizziness that swept through her.

“Fine,” she answered hoarsely. “At least I think so.”

She managed to focus on the woman. A little bit older than herself, curvy in nice ways, warm blue eyes that regarded her worriedly and long dark blonde hair flowing freely down the shoulders. Like the room she looked familiar somehow, but once again she hadn’t a clue from where.

‘My poor head must really be messed up,’ she thought, ‘I would give anything, almost anything for some painkillers. Next time someone dare call me a hardhead, I’ll kick their ass!’

“You’re still very weak,” the woman said. “I’ll give you some pills and then I think you have to rest some more.”

Weak, that’s it! She was weak; the slayer in her was gone!

“What’s your name?” The woman asked.

Before everything turned black again she managed to answer her with a whisper:

“Kennedy, my name is Kennedy….”

*******

She woke with groan and a bladder near the point of explosion.

“Are you okay?”

It was that woman again, the one with the dark blond hair and blue eyes. ‘And the curvy body….’ She winced. ‘Sorry, Will, I can be such a dog sometimes…’

“I have to….” She searched for the word in her scrambled brain.

“Pee?” The woman said helpfully, a mischievous lopsided smile suddenly made Kennedy lesser nervous about her situation. A woman with a smile like that couldn’t be evil.

Kennedy tried to get up from the bed on her own, but she was too weak. The woman steadied her and together they managed to reach the door, a few seconds later she was in the bathroom, a very familiar bathroom.

‘It can’t be, can it?’ She had gone mad, that was certain now. ‘Maybe Sunnydale and slayers don’t exist at all? And beautiful Willow was just a lovely and wonderful figment of my twisted imagination –a highly sexualized?’ She snorted. No her brain was NOT a plate of scrambled eggs and NO she was NOT in an expensive mental institution somewhere. ‘And I’m quite sure I didn’t imagine Willow.’

“I’ll leave you to it,” the woman said and then Kennedy was alone. When she was done she finally managed to stand on her own, supporting herself on the sink. Jesus, she felt like a whole town had fallen on her. Maybe it had? Maybe Sunnydale had put her into a coma and this was the dreams of a comatose slayer?

She looked in the mirror and got herself a chock of several lifetimes. Aside from the paleness and the bruises, her hair was much shorter and her face younger that she had expected.

‘Shit, I look like myself at what? 16-17, I got rid of that hairdo months before I turned 18 when I decided to let it grow long again for the big party!’

She studied her tongue closely. No sign of a piercing. She got that on her 18^th birthday. ‘What the fuck is going on here? I really need to find Willow and get a clue about this nonsense!’

And then, of course, she fainted again.

*******

The next time she woke she was feeling a lot better. The headache was almost gone and her mind felt sharper.

She heard some muffled voices outside the door.

“How did it go?” one voice asked.

“I think she’s in a lot of trouble.” An eerily familiar voice answered. “They’re fighting in that awful non-talking kind of way, it’s not good I like it better when they… you know… yell at each other, like sisters do… I mean, don’t they, sisters I mean? Not that I….”

“Are they downstairs, sweetie?”

“Yeah, she’s doing homework in an educational-type non-fun in a discipline-y sort of way, like she’s supposed to according to the principal. She’s been skipping SCHOOL.” She paused. “What?”

“You act like she has skipped school to marry a demon or something. She’s just a kid, sweetie, a kid who recently faced a major trauma,” the first voice said. “She lost her mother, it’s natural to react to that.”

“I know that… but skipping school?! Who wants to do that? You could miss some important stuff, you know.”

Kennedy heard the owner of the first voice laugh. It was a pleasant sound, and then voice said:

“Maybe we should take her to the Fair next weekend, to get her mind of things?”

“Good idea! A whole day with nothing but candy and relaxation on the menu,” the familiar voice said dreamingly. “And a whole lotta you in between.”

The first voice laughed again. “Hold that thought, sweetie, I’m going to check on Kennedy, if she’s better we can go shopping like we planned.”

The door opened at the curvy woman stepped in. “Oh, you’re awake. Are you feeling any better?”

Kennedy smiled, confusion still intact but the rest of her definitely feeling better. “I feel fine, I think. Where am I and who are you?”

Another person stepped inside the room. Kennedy saw a glimpse of a reddish dress and red hair. “I see that our patient is awake? Goody! How are you feeling?”

Kennedy knew that the voice had been familiar, but combined with red hair, though much shorter and curlier, and green eyes more innocent and the less haunted, there was no doubt.

“Willow?!” she croaked.

2: Tough Love

“Do I know you?” Willow asked puzzled. “I mean, I don’t seem to recognize you or anything, but of course I could have forgotten, but I… do I know you? I mean, you sound a lot like you know me, but I….”

Kennedy had to bit her lip, not knowing if she should laugh or cry. ‘She’s so damn beautiful when she’s flustered like that, and I really like the short hair.’

“Sweetie,” the other woman said and placed a hand on Willow’s arm. “Let her have a chance to answer.”

“Sorry.” Willow blushed in that cute way that always made Kennedy’s heart beat faster.

She had to think fast. She had no idea what was going on and she had to be careful. Maybe The First wasn’t gone? Maybe he had created this scenario from some reason and Kennedy had to be careful not to play his game, whatever it was.

“No,” she swallowed. “We don’t know each other. I think I must have heard your name or something… when I was unconscious.”

‘God, that was lamer than lame!’ But Willow and her friend seemed to buy it, or a least they chose not to pursue the lie just yet. Now she had to find out why she was here.

‘Yeah, an easy task, right?’ Kennedy thought self-mockingly.

“We found you outside the Magic Shop yesterday,” Willow’s friend said. “You looked like someone had attacked you. Do you remember any of it?”

Kennedy shook her head. “Nothing, eh… I don’t know your name?”

“T..Tara,” the woman said. “Bad manners! I’ sorry I haven’t introduced myself, I’m Tara.”

‘What the flying fuck… Tara… Dead Tara… Kind, wonderful and deeply loved Tara… The love of Willow’s life Tara… The XenaGabriellish soul mate Tara… This is a fucking nightmare!’

“Are you going faint again?” Tara placed a cool hand on her forehead. “You look deadly pale. Are you going to be sick?”

‘Nice, warm and compassionate Tara, don’t forget that….’ Kennedy started laughing, a laugh bordering sobbing, but she laughed. The absurdity of it all gave her no other choice.

*******

“I can’t believe you lied to me all this time,” Buffy’s voice was pained. She was folding dish towels on the table while Dawn was doing homework.

Dawn flinched. “I didn't ... lie ... e-exactly.”

“Really. What about all the times I asked you how school was and you said ‘fine’?”

”Well, it was!” Dawn yelled and then said more softly.  “You didn't ask if I was in it when it was fine.”

Buffy closed her eyes, not knowing if she should hit something or just scream instead. They continued the discussion and it became more and more heated. Buffy felt she was talking to deaf ears, Dawn had no intention to listen.

Buffy slams her hand down on the table, making Dawn jump and wince. “Damn it, Dawn. This is serious.”

”Why? Why should I care about any of this?” Dawn asked, sounding even younger than she was.

”Because they'll take you away! “

They stared at each other across the table.  Dawn unfolded her arms and looked scared. “Take me away? What do you mean?”

”They'll take you away from me,” Buffy said softly. “That's what your principal told me when you weren't in the room. If I can't make you go to school, then I won't be found fit to be your legal guardian.”  She resumed folding towels.

Dawn absorbed this for a moment. “Where would I go?”

Buffy closed her eyes. “I don't know. Dad maybe ... or foster care ... I, I didn't really want to ask.”

Dawns and then scoffed. “You could've told me that.”

”I just did.”  Buffy continued folding as Dawn just sat there, not knowing what to say.

Willow opened the door and Kennedy was met with the annoyed stares of two sisters she knew very well. This was kinda fun, seeing the younger versions of the Summers sisters,  not painful like meeting Tara and seeing her and Willow interact so lovingly, this was something she could handle.

“Guys,” Willow said, obviously choosing to ignore the tenseness of the room. “Meet Kennedy, the girl Tara and I brought home yesterday.”

Kennedy almost giggled. Okay, a younger Buffy and a younger Dawn. This Dawn really looked like a kid. Her hair darker, straighter and much longer. And Buffy, the pain in the ass chosen one, who really came through in the final battle, had a totally different air about her, Kennedy could exactly pinpoint what made her different from the Buffy she knew, but she was.

Then it hit her right in the gut; this Buffy had yet to sacrifice herself for the greater good and to save Dawn. This was the unresurrected Buffy, Buffy before Willow raised her from the dead. Wow…..

Tara came up behind Willow and Kennedy watched with a churning gut, the two of them lean against each other with a contentment she had never seen on the face of the Willow she knew. She no longer wanted to laugh, now she really, REALLY wanted to cry. This time-traveling or whatever it was could prove to be a very painful experience. That is, if she lived to feel the aftermath of it.

“She doesn’t say much, does she?” Dawn voice got her out of the trance.

“Nope,” Willow giggled, “but maybe being unconscious for hours does that to you. I mean, I would be all confused too, waking up in a strange house full of strange people and all.”

“Strange indeed,” Kennedy mumbled.

Dawn studied her with interest.

“She has lost large chunks of her memory,” Tara explained. “But we hope to find something in the books that might help her.”

“A ‘close memory gab’ spell or something,” Willow added. “We might get lucky.”

“Hold that thought, Will,” Tara whispered seductively. Willow blushed, her eyes widened with anticipation.

Unfortunately for Kennedy she heard the comment, too. It tore her heart into small aching pieces.

“Ask Giles, he might have some ideas,” Buffy said, but her eyes had turned suspicious, not that Kennedy could blame her. Nothing ever was what it seemed in Sunnydale. “She reminds me of someone,” she mumbled.

And Kennedy knew that it wasn’t a compliment, she had a good idea about who she was compared to and it wasn’t a comparison that would make this version Buffy more acceptant of her.

“I don’t get a bad vibe from her, Buffy,” Tara said quietly. “So don’t worry. We wouldn’t have brought here if we had any doubts.”

Buffy nodded, trusting the witch’s judgment without hesitation. Kennedy sighed. She acknowledged the respect Buffy had for Willow’s deceased lover. Obviously it was only the current one, the one Willow had in another timeline, Buffy didn’t seem to have much respect for.

Buffy regarded her closely. “You have to explain to me….”

“What?!” Kennedy snapped irritated, this situation was proving to be a little too much for her nerves. She felt Tara’s calming hand on her shoulder and relaxed. This was fucking weird, here she was in a different universe of some sort, watching the woman she was in love with being happy and in love with someone else, and to make it all even worse, she liked Tara and felt a certain comfort in her presence… creepy….

“You talked a lot when you were unconscious,” Buffy continued unaffected.

‘Oh.’ Kennedy paled. “Did I?”

“Yes, you did, about something you called The First, about Potentials whatever that is, about someone named Amanda and another bunch of names.” Buffy’s face hardened. “And you talked about Faith.”

Kennedy swallowed nervously. If this was a timeline BEFORE Faith had redeemed herself, she was in a lot of trouble just for mentioning that name. The Buffy/Faith thing was filled with hurt and hate and a lot of complicated stuff in between.

“You talked about how great slayer-power felt and” Buffy's eyes narrowed, “and you certainly talked about Willow a lot.”

‘Oh boy, oh hell, oh shit, oh mega shit!’

Should she tell them the truth? No, not now, she didn’t know anything about the situation she was in, and she didn’t have the faintest idea if she could trust those versions of the people she knew from her Sunnydale. She had to be careful. She had to find out why she was here. A lie could give her some space.

“I… I have visions sometimes.”

“Visions how?” Tara asked interested, her hands or body constantly touching Willow in some way. It would have been extremely cute and highly romantic if the participants hadn’t been Willow and her deceased lover.

Kennedy sighed. Lying was not her strong side, but this had to do… for now.

“I don’t always know what they mean, but I get pictures of the past and the future, like small flashes. I can’t explain….”

Buffy interrupted her, rather rudely, she thought. ‘Like I do to her most of the time.’

“So what you’re telling us is that all the babbling you did was… pictures flying in and out of your head?”

“Out of my broad mouth, too, it seems,” Kennedy mumbled.

“Hmmm,” Buffy wasn’t convinced.

“And I was in those visions?” Willow asked curiously. “Weird. I hope nothing bad happened.”

“Cool,” Dawn moved closer. “You have to fix the transmitter, get a clearer signal or something. It must be a real cool thing to….”

“Dawn!”

“What? What did I do now, Buffy? I was just saying….”

Tara clearly recognized the symptoms of an impending fight and intervened.

“Let Kennedy get some rest, then we can find out more. It’s no use tiring her down.”

Willow nodded. “Come on, Kennedy lets get you back to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Warmth spread from Kennedy’s gut to her cheeks as real pictures of her and Willow in bed together flashed before her eyes. She cleared her throat. “Okay, I’m… coming…. ‘I’m in hell.’

As she passed Buffy the slayer grabbed her arm.

“I’ll be watching you.”

Buffy’s whispered words sent chills down her spine.

3: Wake up and smell the coffee.

‘I have to think up a plan or something, find out why I’m here and what I’m supposed to do and then find the first flight home. I want to see my Willow so bad!’ Kennedy thought and visualized red hair, lickable freckles and yielding, soft lips.

She heard a knock on the door. “Come in!” she yelled in a high pitched voice that even made herself flinch.

Dawn stepped in with a shy smile and a huge tray filled with stuff to eat and drink.

“I didn’t know what you like, so I kinda brought you a little bit of everything. Coffee, tea, pancakes, bread….”

“Thanks,” Kennedy grinned. She and Dawn had never socialized that much, probably because it was difficult for Dawn seeing Willow with someone other than Tara.

‘And I was too busy falling in love to really notice her. Hell, adding The First, tons of Potentials and everything else in one big confusing mess, there hasn’t been much time to think about anything else.’

But all and all they got along fine, Kennedy liked Dawn’s sharp wit and her courage, and she was very competent as research girl, a very bright kid.

‘Am I really calling a girl a couple of years younger than myself a kid? I would’ve resented that intensely when I was 15. Hmmm… Never mind….’

“So….” Dawn began tentatively.

“So?” Kennedy’s eyebrow lifted. Dawn was clearly curious about the new resident in the Summers house, but she also appeared to be a little bit uncomfortable.

Kennedy decided to wait in silence for Dawn to continue.

“Is it true, then? That you’re some kind of a vision-girl?” Dawn finally managed to ask.

Kennedy shrugged. She hated lying, but she had to find a plausible excuse for knowing some of the things she did, it was probably going to be useful if she had to reveal her knowledge for whatever reason or mission she was here.

‘I just wished I had an idea what that reason was.’

“Great,” Dawn muttered. “You’re like them, no one tells the kid anything, it’s like a mantra stamped on my forehead: Keep this one out everything important.” She regarded Kennedy with a critical stare. “And you’re not even that much older than me,” she said accusingly like it was some kind of hideous crime.

“I guess not,” Kennedy reluctantly admitted.

“Do you see anything about me? I mean, have your visions told you things about me?” Dawn asked expectantly.

Kennedy hesitated before answering with a: “Nope.”

“Oh.” Dawn sounded very disappointed. “Maybe it’s because I don’t really exist,” she mumbled darkly to herself.

Kennedy had heard the words, but didn’t let on that she had.

‘Okay, this Dawn knows she’s The Key. It sets the timeline around…. What was it? Buffy haven’t died yet, so that means that the Hellgod is still searching for The Key. And then what?’ Kennedy’s brain fought to remember anything useful Willow might have told her.

What happed before Buffy made the big jump? She damned herself for not probing into Willow’s past some more when she had the chance. ‘That would have been really handy right about now.’

“So….” Dawn’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Have you ever been to Sunnydale, before now, I mean,” she asked, clearly trying to muster up enough courage to ask the questions she really wanted. The Dawn Kennedy knew was way more forward in her approach than this one.

She decided to stick as close to the truth as she possibly could.

“I think I’ve been here before, I seem to know my way around here, so I guess I have.”

Dawn nodded.

“What are you doing in there, Dawn?” Buffy stood in the doorway, nostrils flared with controlled anger. “I told you to stay away from her.”

“What?!” Dawn snapped, her eyes focusing on Kennedy, ignoring her sister completely. “Do you think she’ll eat me or something? Or is she one of Glory's more beautiful looking minions?”

Kennedy raised an eyebrow at the words ‘beautiful looking’ and Dawn blushed. And for the first since she arrived here, her usual flirtish shit-eating grin made an appearance. It made Dawn blush even more.

But it obviously didn’t sit well with Buffy. “Hey!” she yelled. “Me!” She pointed to herself. “I was talking here.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “And when she talks you better listen,” she muttered and threw a stolen look at Buffy. “Even when you wish she would stop.”

“Dawn, I want to talk to Kennedy.”

Dawn crossed her arms, seemingly not getting the hint, or at least not wanting to.

“Alone, Dawn.”

The teen sighed heavily, stuck her tongue out at her sister and gave Kennedy a short glance before leaving the room.

“I don’t like you flirting with my BABY sister,” Buffy stressed the word baby like it was a dangerous word. “She’s at a vulnerable point in her life right now and I don’t…..”

Kennedy couldn’t believe her ears. “Are you accusing me…?” She bit down on her anger, knowing that in this reality she had to tread very carefully and not let temper rule her. “Look, Buffy, I’m not flirting with your sister, she’s just a kid.”

“You’re a kid, too,” Buffy reminded her. “A bit older than Dawn, TOO old,” she stressed, “and probably a lot more experienced than her, you certainly behave like it, but still a kid.”

“Am not!” Kennedy denied, offended by the thought that Buffy considered her a child. She felt exactly like the misunderstood teen she once was.

“Are too!” Buffy spat back at her.

“Am not!!”

“Are too!!”

“Will the two of you stop that!” Willow yelled from the hallway. “Buffy? What happened here? Why are you so angry at Kennedy?”

Willow walked in with an annoyed look in her eyes. Kennedy stopped breathing.

‘I wish I could kiss her!’ was the first thought that penetrated the Willow-haze.

“She… she flirted….” Buffy began uncomfortably.

“She what?” Willow looked bewildered. “Why on earth…. Are you freaked because she flirted with you?!”

“She flirted with Dawn, okay!”

“I most certainly did not!” Kennedy woke abruptly from her Willow-appreciation.

“Did too!” Buffy eyes glinted dangerously.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

Willow rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Here you go again. Stop it, please, you’re making my head spin.”

Both women did as they were told and then stared indignantly at Willow, obviously making her responsible for solving the problem between the two of them. Willow sighed.

“Believe me, Willow,” Kennedy pleaded with her lover, her former lover, her future lover… this was so unbelievingly confusing. “I could never do something like that, not to you….” She stopped herself.

‘Idiot!’ She mentally kicked her own ass. ‘This Willow isn’t your Willow, you better remember that!’

Willow gaped, confusion evident on her face. Tara silently moved in behind her, Kennedy saw the same confusion on the other witch’s face. She swallowed nervously.

‘Willow is very perceptive and I suspect Tara is even worse. I have to be careful, they hear stuff in my voice that I don’t want them to pick up on. And I really got to shut about Willow!’

The slip of the tongue alerted and infuriated Buffy even more; she moved swiftly and got protectively between Willow and Kennedy, ready to fight if necessary.

“Buffy!” Willow reached out to calm her friend. “What is it with you? This is so unlike you and you’re really being scary-girl right now!”

Kennedy believed she knew the answer to that question. Glory was threatening everything Buffy loved and lived for and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Kennedy represented a mystery she could solve, a problem she could deal with and in the end overcome.

‘And that makes me an easy target for the slayer’s frustration.’

“We know nothing about her, Will, for all we know she could be playing a part in Glory’s game. And she could be lying through her teeth about why she’s here.” Buffy moved even closer to Kennedy, her eyes unreadable.

“Hey!” Kennedy yelled angrily, disguising her nervous uneasiness. “You want to fight, Blondie, I’ll kick your scrawny ass anytime!” She hammered a clenched fist into the wall.  ‘Shit, man!! Fuck it hurts!’

She mentally berated herself. ‘Without slayer powers you can’t do a fucking shit, you moron, she’ll kick your ass in 13 seconds max, and do you really want to beat Willow’s best friend up, even if she’s irritating and condescending as hell?’

“Yeah, you really do remind of Faith,” Buffy mumbled acerbically. “Can anyone say: attitude adjustment?”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, at least she had the ability to listen once in a while” Kennedy sneered. She moved out of Buffy’s way and out of the room, leaving Buffy and Willow staring at her back with round disbelieving eyes.

Tara sighed and followed her out.

4: Hard to handle

Tara found a brooding Kennedy sitting slumped on a small bench near the Summers house, staring at the cars driving by.

“Hi,” she said carefully.

Kennedy didn’t react, her eyes followed a black VW Golf driving by.

“This is hard on you, isn’t it`” Tara asked softly.

That got her a reaction. Kennedy flinched and stared disbelievingly at her. “What?!”

“Being here like this, with no control.”

“Oh,” Kennedy almost sagged in relief. For a moment she had thought that Tara suspected….

“I mean, yes, I’m feeling a little bit confused by it all.” She shrugged. “Buffy doesn’t like me, does she?”

‘Probably never did, anyway. I’m not good enough for Willow, am I? Obnoxious… young… cocky… reminding her of Faith… not at all like Tara….’

“It’s not you, Kennedy, we have been under a lot of stress lately and Buffy… Buffy is the one who has to deal with most of it.”

“And it makes her a touchy, overbearing and overreacting bitc…Buffy?”

Tara just smiled and shook her head. She wisely changed the subject. “Those visions you have,” she asked and noticed Kennedy stiffen. “There are not really visions, are they?”

‘Damn!’ “No, not really.”

“What are they then?” Tara definitely wanted an answer, a dangerous edge toned her normally calm and friendly blue eyes.

Kennedy suspected that this was about Willow and the fact that Kennedy somehow knew Willow or knew off her. This was a lover protecting her beloved and her being a witch and all, Kennedy had to be careful.

Slowly and very cautious Kennedy took her hand. “I may not know much right now,” she said sincerely, “but I know one thing for certain, I’m not going to hurt…” she swallowed, “Willow, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

Tara closed her eyes, her lips moved silently like she was reading the person whose hand she held. “I didn’t think so,” she finally said and opened her eyes. “I just wanted to be sure.”

Kennedy didn’t know what to say, she wasn’t used to acting so… what? Demure? Cautious? Low key? Timid? A very different Kennedy from the brat Willow knew and… hopefully… loved. The thought of Willow once again made her stomach hurt and the chest ache.

She stared longingly at the black VW Golf parked on the other side of the road, its owner, a tall woman in a dark business suit, wearing dark sunglasses walked across the street towards them. She could steal it and drive away, forget about all of this, about Willow. ‘Yeah, right!’

Would she ever see her Willow again or was she forever trapped on the front seat to this version of Willow’s happiness with another woman? She involuntary shuddered.

“Are you co..cold,” Tara asked worriedly. “Maybe you shouldn’t be outside yet, you’re still weak.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Kennedy suddenly felt how exhausted she really was, maybe she should lie down, thinking this through one more time. “I’ll come in a minute.”

Tara glanced at her, obviously a little concerned to leave her alone.

“Jeez, Tara,” Kennedy rolled her eyes. “I won’t pass out or anything, I’m a strong girl.”

‘I was a fucking slayer before this happened! But of course you don’t know that.’

“You know more about us than you let on, don’t you?” Tara suddenly asked. “You’re not so much in the dark as you’re trying to make us believe.”

Kennedy closed her eyes. ‘Damn, Tara, you’re not going to be easy to fool.’

“Would you believe me if I promise you that I’m not here to harm any of you, and will you accept that I can’t tell you who I am and why I’m here just yet?”

Tara smiled warmly. “I think we can trust you, Kennedy, even if this whole situation is a little bit weird.”

‘Damn, Tara, don’t make me like you! I’m jealous as hell about what you and Willow share and I want to dislike you sooo bad.’

“Thank you, Tara,” was the words she allowed herself to say.

Tara shrugged, threw her a lopsided smile and went inside.

‘To Willow,’ Kennedy thought grumpily. ‘Who awaits the love of her life with a kiss and things I really don’t wanna think about.’ She sighed with contempt. ‘Jealous much? Stop the pity party right now, stupid!’

“Kennedy?” A woman’s voice. Kennedy looked up and saw a woman standing in front of her, it took her a moment before she recognized the tall woman from the black Golf.

“Who is asking?”

The woman laughed. “Politeness is not one of your many skills, is it?

“Nope, super brat that me.” Kennedy got up on her feet. “What do you want?”

“Not much, only this.” The woman took a handle of some sorts from her pocket and pointed it right at Kennedy. “Say goodbye, little slayer,” the handle turned into a huge sword and the woman swung it viciously, aiming at Kennedy’s exposed neck.

5: The attack of the sword-lady

“Nooo!”

The yell distracted the tall woman long enough for Kennedy to duck away from her impending decapitation and even kick the woman’s legs away underneath her.

“Buffy!!!” Dawn’s shrieked in fear. “Buffy, HELP!!!”

The door to the Summers house opened and Buffy stormed out, closely followed by Willow and Tara. They saw a frantic Dawn pointing in the direction of Kennedy and the woman with the sword, who was getting back on her feet, preparing herself for another try at taking the girl’s head off.

Buffy almost flew through the air, the witches yelled out every spell they could think of to stop the woman from succeeding.

Another swing with the sword, but Kennedy was faster than the woman had expected and the blade slashed the air for the second time.

“Shit!” The woman hissed, when she saw the approaching slayer. The sword turned into a handle again as she ran to the car.

“She’s… immune… to… magic!” Willow breathed heavily, her and Tara close behind the running Buffy. Before they reached the car, it was gone.

*******

The whole Scooby gang had been in research mode for hours, trying to find an explanation for the mysterious sword that nearly killed Kennedy. Anya and Xander had gone home to get some much needed sleep, but the others kept on going.

Finally a breakthrough was approaching, the air in the room changed, even Kennedy could feel it; ‘the good old days’, when teamwork was the way to do things.

“This is it,” Giles said. “It must be.” He showed them two paintings; one of a handle and one of the sword.

Kennedy nodded. “Could be a match, it certainly looks a lot like it.”

“What is it?” Buffy asked impatiently. “And most important, how do we get rid of it?”

“This sword hasn’t been active in almost 200 years,” Giles said as he finished reading in the heavy book where he found the paintings. “And it’s very uncommon that it is used against humans.”

“Does that mean that Kennedy isn’t human?” Buffy suspiciously eyed the more and more agitated Kennedy, obviously trying to figure out which kind of demon she could be.

“No,” Willow and Tara answered simultaneously, they looked at each other and giggled. “We are quite sure she’s human,” Willow composed herself and became serious again. “This is strange, Buffy, that woman didn’t seem faced at all by the magic we threw her way.”

Giles cleared his throat. “It’s uncommon that the sword target humans, but it happens, there’s several examples mentioned.”

“Why co..could we use our magic on the carrier of the s..sword?” Tara asked.

“Yes.” Buffy was already in slayer mode. “Who’s the woman and most important, I’ll repeat myself here, how do we get rid of her?”

“The carrier of the sword is, for lack of a better word, an assassin,” Giles explained.

“What?!!” Everybody yelled, Kennedy highest of them all.

Giles lifted his hand to make them keep quiet. “If you have a justifiable cause you can hire this assassin to eliminate a demon OR a human. The original assassin was protected by some higher power that gave her access to everything that could help her get the work done, that could explain the immunity.”

“Justifiable?” Kennedy jumped to her feet. “How the fuck can killing me be justifiable?”

Willow placed a calming hand on her arm, it worked instantly, and that didn’t go unnoticed by Tara.

“Why the sword, then? Wouldn’t it make more sense to… like modernize the method? A lot has happened in 200 years, guns for instance.” Buffy asked. “Or couldn’t she… like dump a house on Kennedy or something?”

Giles winced. “There are rules and the assassin has to follow those rules if she wants to maintain her status. The sword is the only weapon she must use. It has a very specific quality that makes it very special and very dangerous for demons as well as humans.”

“How?” Kennedy swallowed, not at all thrilled by the fact that someone with a dangerous sword was out to get her.

“The sword doesn’t kill in a traditional sense, it makes its target vanish, disappear. No one seems to know exactly where to.”

“Fuck….” Kennedy muttered.

“But the conclusion must be that someone probably hired that sword-lady, right? Someone is out to get our mystery girl,” Buffy sighed. “One more thing to add to the piles of trouble we’re in these days.”

“We can’t ignore the fact,” Giles pointed out, “that the assassin has some sort of justifiable reason to target Kennedy. We have to find out why.”

They all looked at Kennedy for an answer, but she couldn’t give them one.

“Do you guys still think we can trust her?” Buffy asked the witches. They both nodded.

“The book mentions a nun in the 1766….”

“A NUN?!” They all exclaimed.

Giles nodded. “A contact was made and the assassin killed her.”

“A NUN?” Willow laughed. “What did she do? Forget her wow of chastity?”

“No, not exactly. She was librarian in a monastery when she accidentally stumbled across some occult books which were meant to be hidden from the world. She was about to make a very significant discovery that the world wasn’t yet ready for and she refused to let it go.”

“And then the assassin ki..killed her, even if the nun wasn’t evil?” Tara asked. “An essential innocent died, because she was stubborn and curious and someone found it ju..justifiable? It doesn’t sound fair.”

“No,” Giles agreed, “but the assassin doesn’t distinguish between good or evil people, or demons for that matter, if their actions go against ‘what’s meant to be’….”

“She has a license to kill them,” Buffy concluded. “And that means that Kennedy doesn’t have to be evil because the assassin is after her.”

“But she is after her,” Giles said. “And without Kennedy’s memories intact we have no way to find out why this sword and its assassin have been activated after so many years.”

“We’ll work on it,” Willow promised, indicating her and Tara. “On the no-memory part, sooo not the assassin part, we’ll leave that to Buffy.”

“And we have to prepare ourselves the best we can,” Giles caught Buffy's eyes. “For the assassin as well as Glory.”

“I’ll look into it,” Buffy nodded her acceptance and turned her attention to Kennedy.

6: Fair Fight

“So you know about martial arts, then?” Buffy asked, obviously impressed.

Kennedy nodded, sweat dripping from her like she had just taken a shower. She had been very surprised when Buffy after the Scooby-meeting had asked her to join her in the Slayer’s training room. The sparing seemed to have loosened things up a bit between them. Now she felt like a sweaty portion of pudding, even if Buffy insisted that she had been easy on her.

“I thought I had to worry about you defending yourself against sword-lady, but it seems like you’ll be doing fine.” Buffy smiled a little.

“That’s why you invited me in here? To test and train me?” Kennedy sat down on the floor and grabbed the bottle of water waiting for her. “Or beat the shit out of me?”

“Sorta…. All of the above, I guess,” Buffy hesitated. “I wanted to talk you and… we started out on the wrong foot with each other, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, we probably did,” Kennedy agreed, not knowing at all where this was going.

“That vision-business of yours has told you about us, right? What we’re doing and stuff?” Buffy stared intently at Kennedy. “And who I am?”

“Yeah.”

‘Come on, Buffy, get to it, you’re killing me here!’ Kennedy decided to speed things up. “And as you can guess I know about Faith, too.”

Buffy stiffened. “Will and Tara say I can trust you. I’m willing to give it a chance, Kennedy, I have much on my plate now and I need….”

“All the allies you can get,” Kennedy grinned.

Buffy grinned back. “That’s a way to put it.” She turned serious again. “But I still think you got a whole lot of explaining to do.”

Kennedy nodded.

“But I can be patient.” Buffy said.

Kennedy lifted an eyebrow.

“I can!” Buffy exclaimed.

“I didn’t say a thing, Buf.”

“That eyebrow thingy speaks with exclamation marks, Kenn,” Buffy insisted.

“It doesn’t… Buf!”

“It does… Kenn!

“It doesn’t!”

“It does!

“Are you two fighting again?!” Dawn’s voice reached them through the closed door.

“No!!” Both of them yelled, they stared at each other in surprise and then they started laughing.

Dawn opened the door and gaped at them. “I think they’re going insane,” she mumbled to herself. It made Kennedy laugh even harder 

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Maybe Will and Tara will adopt me when Buffy is put away somewhere?”

“Come on, Kennnn,” Buffy grinned. “Let’s take this outside. I really need some air.”

“Tired already?” Kennedy winked at Dawn. “She followed the Slayer outside. “And she calls herself a Slayer!”

*******

For the next half hour they did sit-ups, push-ups, ran around in circles, tried some boxing exercises and a lot of other stuff Dawn couldn’t put a name to. She sat nearby with a book pretending to read, but the book lay unread in her lap while she closely followed her sister and the newcomer.

“I really think you’re using this as an excuse to kick my ass,” Kennedy panted. “This has gone way beyond you finding out how capable I am at defending myself.”

Buffy shrugged. “Are you backing out? Is this all you can take?”

Dawn rolled her eyes, somehow she already knew the answer to that.

“In your dreams,” Kennedy sneered and fell to the ground to do push-ups, Buffy followed her immediately.

Dawn shook her head. She became exhausted and thirsty just by looking them. She got up from her place in the shadow to get something to drink.

In the kitchen she found a mesmerized Willow, green eyes riveted on the training session taking place on the lawn.

“Hey, Willow,” Dawn said loudly.

Willow blushed and quickly turned away form the window. “D..Dawnie? Hi…. I was just….”

“Admiring the view?” Dawn grinned.

“Yes… no…. She’s in great shape… I mean….” Willow’s blush darkened.

“Yeah,” Dawn agreed.

“Not that I notice these things,” Willow added nervously. “I mean, that she’s well-build, well-trained and matches Buffy very well, considering she’s not a slayer like Buffy.”

Dawn smirked. “You find her attractive, don’t you?”

“What?!” Willow almost swallowed her tongue. “Nooo, no way, I have to say no to that, absolutely not, not at all….”

“I’m not a kid!” Dawn snapped. “I know about these things. You’re allowed to find other girls attractive, even if you’re with Tara. I bet Tara does sometimes, too.”

“T..Tara?!” Willow choked. “I have to find Tara!”

Dawn rolled her eyes as Willow rushed out of the kitchen. “And they call themselves adults!”

She took a can of soda from the refrigerator and walked back to the spot where she had an excellent view to the scene Willow fled from.

A view of Kennedy’s tank top clinging to a sweaty torso….

*******

Willow hurriedly turned a corner and almost tackled her girlfriend to the floor.

“Hey, Sweetie,” Tara said. “I was just looking for you and Dawn.”

“Oh yes, the Fair,” Willow blushed.

“Don’t tell me you have forgotten about it, we talked about it an hour ago!” Tara shook her head in mock irritation, then she smiled and kissed Willow softly on the lips.

“No, no… I’m almost ready, I think Dawnie has forgotten, though. I talked to her a minute ago and she was… occupied with something else.” Willow tugged Tara after her away from the hallway.

“I haven’t seen Dawn the whole day. Do you know how things are going between her and Buffy?” Tara asked. “It’s been a little tense since they talked to the Principal.”

“Yeah,” Willow nodded. “Buffy is a little crabby at Dawnie about her schoolwork.

“Well, it's understandable.” Tara looked around to find her jacket

Willow was ready to go and sat down watching her girlfriend gather her stuff. “Yeah, sure it is. I'd totally be blowing off classes if I were in Dawnie's shoes.”

Tara smiled. “Sweetie, you wouldn't blow off a class if your head was on fire. And, I meant Buffy.”

“Buffy what?” Willow asked a bit confused.

“Understandable about the crabby. She has to look after Dawn now,” Tara explained.

Willow made a grimace. “Yeah, but not in a Miss Minchin's Select Seminary For Girls way. I mean, she's just gonna make Dawnie more rebellious.”

Tara shrugged noncommittally. “Do you think we should ask Dawn again, about going to the Fair, I mean.” She frowned. “You said she was occupied? With what?”

Willow’s eyes widened and her cheeks turned a little darker. “She was… she was watching Buffy train. With Kennedy….”

Tara’s eyebrow lifted. “And what were you doing?”

“I..I….” Willow desperately browsed her brain for the right words, but somehow they all escaped her.

“You’re really attracted to her, aren’t you?” Tara asked softly.

Willow’s cheeks turned as red as her hair.

7: Going to the fair?

“What?!” Willow eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Nooo, no way, I have to say no to that, absolutely not, not at all….”

“Sweetie,” Tara smiled nervously and grabbed her girlfriend’s hand. “It’s okay, forget that I asked, it’s not important.”

“W...why do you think I’m… you know… what you said… about Kennedy?” Willow’s red face shone with concern.

“It’s nothing, Will, she’s pretty… and cute, I can understand why you….”

“I’m not!” Willow insisted. “She’s young, not much older than Dawnie!”

Tara gave a sad lopsided smile. “You mean, you would be attracted to her if she was older?”

“No…” Willow suddenly paled. “No! That’s sooo not what I meant!”

“She’s not that much younger, Will, she’s what? 17? And she seems quite… self-assured and mature in these matters.” Tara pointed out, not willing to let it go just yet.

“Why… how do you know that? I mean, she hasn’t…” Willow couldn’t find the words to complete the sentence, her eyes flickered nervously.

Finally Tara took mercy on her girlfriend. “Let’s forget about this, sweetie. We talked about Dawn and Buffy and Buffy being crappy about Dawn.”

“Yeah, crabby….” Willow mumbled, relieved that Tara changed the subject. “She shouldn’t be on Dawnie’s case all the time, she’s acting like… like her mother or something.”

“In some way she is her mother now, Dawn’s her responsibility now.” Tara paused and thought for a moment. “I had to deal with my brother's problems after ... I mean, you can't really know what it's like to….”

“Yeah, I know that.” Willow said.

Tara made a noise of displeasure, frowned and sat down to her girlfriend. Willow stiffened in irritation.

“I...I didn't me...mean to….” Tara stuttered.

“No, I just ... I ... I know I can't know what you went through.” Willow faked a laugh. “But I just ... It's no big.”

“I made you mad,” Tara said softly.

“No. No.” Willow shook her head.

“All I meant was….” Tara tried to explain.

Willow stood up. “No, it's okay. This whole Buffy thing, let's just forget it.”

Tara eyes widened with worry. “No, please. I mean, I mean, tell me if I said something wrong, otherwise I know I'll say it again. Probably often and in public.”

“No, I was snippy gal. It's just ... I know I can't ... on some level ...” Willow sighed. “It's like my opinion isn't worth anything because I haven't been through ...  I didn't lose my mom, so I don't know.”

“Well ... I...I'm not the expert. I mean, I've only lost the one,” Tara said quietly.

Willow gave a sympathetic smile.

Tara looked anxious. “Do ... I act like ... the big knowledge woman?” she asked uncertainly.

“No,” Willow replied weakly.

“Is that no spelled Y-E-S?”

“S-O-R-T of.” Willow paused for a moment. “I mean, I just feel like the...the junior partner. You've been doing everything longer than me. You've been out longer ... you've been practicing witchcraft way longer.”

“Oh, but you're way beyond me there! In just a few... I mean ... it frightens me how powerful you're getting.” Tara stopped abruptly.

Willow frowned. “That's a weird word.”

Tara smiled nervously. "Getting"?

“It frightens you? *I* frighten you?” Willow’s voice sharpened.

Tara jumped up from where she was sitting. “That is so not what I meant. I meant i...impresses… impressive.”

“Well, I took Psych 101. I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation before the final, but I know what a Freudian slip is,” Willow snapped.

Tara looked upset.

“D...don't you trust me?” Willow asked.

“With my life.”

“That's not what I mean.” Willow stared into her girlfriend’s eyes.

“Can't we just go to the fair?” Tara asked meekly.

Willow got on her feet, too. “I don't feel real multicultural right now.  Wh ... what is it about me that you don't trust?”

“It's not that. I worry, sometimes. You're... you're changing so much, so fast. I don't know where you're heading.” Tara tried to explain.

“Where I'm heading?”

“I'm saying everything wrong.” Tara was near tears now.

“No, I think you're being pretty clear. This isn't about the witchcraft. It's about the other changes in my life.”

Tara looked down on the carpet. “I trust you. I just ... I don't know where I'm gonna fit in ... in your life when...”

Willow was angry now. “When ... I change back? Yeah, this is a college thing, just a… a little experimentation before I get over the thrill and head back to boys' town.” She paused. “You really think that? Or do you think I just practiced with you? And now that I know what this lesbo thing is all about, I’m ready to hit the gay bars and jump every woman I meet. Is that what you think?”

“Should I?

Willow instantly knew that Tara thought about Kennedy. “I'm really sorry that I didn't establish my lesbo street cred and played the field before I got into this relationship. You're the only woman I've ever fallen in love with, so ... how on earth could you ever take me seriously?”  She walked toward the door.

“Willow, please!” Tara pleaded.

“Have fun at the fair.” Willow stormed out, leaving a bewildered and upset Tara behind.

8: Mission

Kennedy and Buffy relaxed on the grass, Buffy a little tired, Kennedy exhausted.

“Take a run around the house and then we’re finished for today,” Buffy said. “But be careful of strange women with big swords.”

“Take a run? And what about you?” Kennedy stretched her aching legs.

“I’m gonna hit the shower. Age before youth, you know.” Buffy grinned.

“Age before beauty, you mean?” Kennedy murmured, but she did what the Slayer suggested.

*******

Kennedy jogged very slowly down the street.  She found a very distressed looking Willow sagging on the same bench where the sword-lady had attacked.

Kennedy began a heated mental debate. The wisest thing to do was ignoring the slumped figure.

‘Getting closer to Willow is not healthy, you stupid ass,’ her brain insisted. It hurt every time her former/future girlfriend looked at her with no recognition, no adoration, with no possibility for love.

But her aching heart overruled her more sensible brain.

“Hey,” She sat down beside Willow. “Are you okay?”

Willow flinched in surprise. “K…Kennedy, hi… I didn’t see you… before now… I mean I see you now…”

Kennedy grinned. ‘Oh God, she’s sooo frigging adorable!’

“So are you?”

“What?” Willow asked confused.

“Okay?” Kennedy turned serious again.

“Yeah,” Willow shoulders sagged even more.

“Ah yes, I can totally see that, your good mood is both obvious and contagious,”  Kennedy touched Willow’s arm to get her attention.

Willow seemed to consider her options for a moment and then she said: “I had a fight with Tara. It was awful.”

Kennedy squeezed her arm in sympathy.  “Oh, I'm sorry.”

“Me too.” Willow’s eyes teared up.

Kennedy wasn’t sure she wanted to get into that. Knowing more of the mechanics of Willow and Tara’s relationship wasn’t on the top of the list of ‘things to know more about’ in these strange circumstances she was dumped into. What she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. She shivered at the thought of seeing them kiss too deep or ... shriek... making out in a serious way....

But she couldn’t help herself, she wanted to reach out to the women she, regardless of her current situation, made love to only a few weeks ago: “You two don't quarrel much, do you?”

“Never. Until today.” Willow’s voice was so sad that it made Kennedy’s chest constrict.

“Well, now it's over...” She tried to reassure.

The words meant as comfort, obviously made Willow very upset, she jumped to her feet. “Over? How can it be over? I just found her!”

“The quarrel is over, Will, the quarrel.” Kennedy almost had to force her back on the bench.

“Oh. Yeah.” Willow sat down, much quieter now.

“Uh, you'll feel better when you've made your apologies and…” Kennedy swallowed, “and then you can kiss and make out…up… That’s the best part.”

Sudden a strange sizzling feeling began nipping at the back of her brain. Something she had to do… or... what?

“Willow, where is Tara?”

Willow looked confused. “Tara? At the fair, I presume. If she went without me. Maybe she didn’t. Why do you ask?”

Kennedy felt the sizzling again, stronger this time.”

“Kennedy, are you okay?”

“Will, get Buffy,” Kennedy said monotonically. “Then go to the fair, find Tara.”

“What? Is something wrong?!” Willow clutched frantically at Kennedy’s shirt. “Is something wrong with Tara? Please! Please, is she in danger?!”

“Find Buffy, Will. I’ll find Tara.”

*******

Kennedy ran through the crowds at the fair searching for Tara. And there she was. Kennedy heart thudded viciously against her breastbone. A curly blond woman sat beside her on a bench, talking to her and holding her hand and Tara looked really scared.

“I can’t let you do this, Slayer,” a voice purred behind her.

Quickly Kennedy turned around and stood face to face with the sword-lady. She swallowed hard.

“Why?”

“The future mustn’t change, Slayer, and that’s what you’re about to do.”

The sizzling feeling in the back of Kennedy’s head returned. “I can’t let her hurt Tara.”

The sword-lady growled and reached for her, but Kennedy ducked and the sword-lady cursed.

Always quick on her feet, Kennedy turned around and ran towards Tara and Glory. The sword-lady followed, with the deathly handle ready to become a sword at the right moment.

“You lying little tramp!” She heard the curly blonde sneer. “You're not the key, you're nothing! Just another worthless human being!” She grabbed Tara's head.

Kennedy gave her best Xena-imitation and with the loudest war-cry she could manage she jumped, her shoulders clashed into the curly blondes stomach and made enough distraction for Tara to get up and out of her reach.

“How dare you!” The curly blonde screamed in anger like a Callisto on helium.

“Are you okay?” Kennedy panted to Tara.

Tara nodded vigorously. “W...we h...have to g...get, K...Ke…, it’s G...Glory!”

‘Hell god Glory?’ Kennedy thought in surprise. ‘I’m fighting a  g o d ??’

“Buffy and Willow are on their way, get away from here, Tara, I have an idea.”

The look on Tara’s face told her that she wasn’t keen on leaving her alone with a Glory that was now approaching them with an evil look in her eyes.

Kennedy felt the sword-lady move in from behind, the handle now a sword. People around them panicked and tried to get away from them as fast as they could.

‘Great! Squeezed between to gorgeous women and I don’t even enjoy it,” Kennedy stopped the desperate laugh in time. “Leave now!” she yelled and pushed Tara forward. And finally Tara did as she was told.

‘Now I just have to make this work… I think I have seen it done on several movies and dumb TV-series, so why not now….’ Kennedy ignored Glory’s constant rambling and concentrated on not being caught by her or by the silent sword-lady that circled them both.

‘That Glory bitch must have some godly power or something, why not use it to get me?’ Kennedy wondered. ‘The only thing she seems to unleash at the moment is that never-stopping mouth of hers.’

Suddenly everything was in place. The sword-lady was ready to make her kill. Kennedy jumped, leaving Glory to face the sword.

It was too late for either of them to react. Kennedy was out of reach and the sword connected with Glory’s neck instead of hers.

An excruciating pain forced Kennedy to the ground. It felt like the inside of her head exploded into millions of shiny pieces. She screamed in pain and everything went black.

9: Uups, I did it again

‘Fuck my head hurts!’ Kennedy’s mind span like crazy, pain throbbed behind her eyelids, following a rapidly beating pulse, the dizziness threatened to make her throw up.  ‘What the fuck happened here?’

She rubbed her eyes, opened them cautiously and quickly narrowed them against the pain. She looked around, trying to establish her whereabouts. ‘I’m obviously not at the fair anymore.’ She was sitting, or rather half laying on the fucking bench a couple of houses away from the Summers house. ‘This damn bench must be cursed somehow! All I need now is for the sword-lady to pop up and everything will be just damn perfect!’

“Kenny, you’re back!” There was joy in the voice that greeted her.

‘Kenny?!’ Confused and a little groggy she tried to determine who the voice belonged to. And then she was engulfed in Dawn’s arms.

“Back?” Kennedy’s asked with her face pressed against the taller girl’s chest. She freed herself and saw an older Dawn, not quite as mature as the Dawn from her original world, the world where she was Willow’s one and only girlfriend, but older than the Dawn in the reality she apparently had left now. The one where Willow loved another woman, loved Tara and only Tara.

Dawn scowled. “Yeah, your…” she spat the word out with distaste. “girlfriend wanted to visit someone in Boston or some other place.” She stopped and looked sternly at Kennedy. “So why are you back already, Kenny?”

‘Girlfriend? I have a girlfriend? I hope she means Willow. And why Kenny? I have never been a Kenny, I never wanted to be a Kenny. Oh boy, this is just fucking great!’ Kennedy rubbed her eyes more furiously this time. ‘This can’t be happening. I’ve moved to yet another time zone, timeline, time-fucking….’

“Kenny?” Dawn asked concern evident in her voice. “Has something happened?”

“No.” Kennedy pushed the discomfort back and smiled weakly at Dawn. “Where’re the others?”

“Research mode,” Dawn answered staring intensely at Kennedy. “Buffy found the Geek Trio’s lair.”

‘Geek Trio, that sounds like…’ Kennedy raked her brain for useful information. ‘Nerdy Andrew and his nerdy but dangerous friends.’

“They are looking through their papers to find out what the geeks are doing, where they're going....” Dawn continued.

“They...are looking..?” Kennedy asked, still trying to make sense of the new circumstances she was in. A familiar feeling in her mouth. The piercing. ‘Okay, I’m 18 now, then Dawn must be… 16... Is Tara still alive or have Warren....?’

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Who do you think? Willow, Tara and Buffy. Xander and Anya are… you know… out of the loop right now, honeymoon and all.”

‘Okay, the girlfriend isn’t Willow, then,’ Kennedy sadly realized, but she was surprised how relieved she felt hearing that Tara was still among the living.

“Come on, let’s go home. I have been taking really good care of your plants and stuff.” Dawn took her hand and practically dragged her to the Summers house where she apparently was living in this reality.

*******

“Kenn, you’re back already!” Willow and Tara rushed to hug her and a minute later she was engulfed in Buffy’s arms, too.

‘Buffy is hugging me? Me?!’ Kennedy couldn’t get her mind around the fact that the Slayer seemed so pleased to see her.

“Where’s Eve?” Tara asked.

“Eve?” Kennedy let go of Buffy and stared at Tara. ‘Who is Eve?’

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Your… girlfriend, stupid, who else? The blonde bimbo attached to your lips all the time.”

“Dawn!” Buffy berated. “Eve is a nice girl, don’t talk about her that way!”

“Whatever….” Dawn grumbled.

Kennedy had to think fast and lie convincingly. “I...I decided… I decided to stay and help, you’ll need it with the Geek Trio running loose,” she explained, wondering if the things she altered in the realities she visited changed the direction of her own life, too. No watcher, no potential slayer stuff, no Willow….?

‘This is weird, my life is not my own anymore. I’m probably 18 and the bringers should have killed my watcher by now, shouldn’t they, or are they about to do it? Is it possible to save him? Or do I not really exist in this world? Or is this some sort of a parallel world thingy?’

“Kenn, are you okay?” Willow asked softly. “Have you and Eve been fighting?”

“What? No, no fighting going on.”

‘At least I hope not,’ Kennedy thought darkly. ‘For all I know we could be fighting on a daily basis, or maybe there’s another Kennedy… no Kennnn… Kenny, happily fighting away somewhere with her nice blonde girlfriend Eeeeve, while I’m here in deep shit! Some girls, some versions of me, have all the fun.’

“Maybe you should go downstairs and get some sleep, you look exhausted,” Willow suggested.

‘Downstairs? That must mean that I have a room in the basement.’ Kennedy nodded and faked a yawn. “Yeah, some sleep will do me good,” she agreed, uncomfortably aware that Tara’s eyes had settled on her, like they were reading her somehow. ‘Damn, that witch is more perceptive than a house full of FBI-profilers and Hollywood shrinks!’

‘But you just got back!” Dawn pouted. “I have so much to tell you!”

“She’s only been gone for a couple of days.” Buffy rolled her eyes, looking exactly like her sister when she did it. “One should think that she had outgrown that crush by now,” she stage-whispered to Kennedy.

Willow giggled lightly, sending Tara a quick glance, then averted her eyes.

Dawn cheeks turned bright red. “Buffy!!” She slapped her sister hard on the arm. “Shut up! You know nothing!” She pulled Kennedy down the stairs to the basement. To her room.

“She’s just jealous because you spend more time with me than her,” Dawn muttered.

Kennedy couldn’t believe her ears. “W...what? Why should... I mean.... she’s not....”

Dawn looked thoughtful. “Personally I think it’s because you remind her of Faith and the slayer-thing they had, and of course she can train with you more intensely than with the rest of us mortals, and she can take you on her rounds without being too afraid that you will be hurt and yada yada yada…..”

“We train?” Kennedy heard herself ask, and suddenly remembered the session Buffy had put her through before shit hit the fan, or rather shit hit the fair. ‘She must be killing me slowly!’

“I think she wants a kid sister like you,” Dawn added with sadness filling her voice. “Me, I’m just a nuisance.”

“I’m sure you’re wrong about that, Dawn, she loves you,” Kennedy fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Even when you slept together that one time....”

“WHAT???!!!” Kennedy shrieked, sudden feeling very dizzy.

“Oh, you thought I didn’t know about that? I know all about the hungry and horny stuff, you apparently suffer from it too, even without the slayer-thing running through your veins,” Dawn said wryly.

This was too damn much! ‘I slept with Buffy?! Willow’s best friend and not exactly mine? She’s not even my type, for god sake! Oh, I’m so, so glad I can’t remember a thing about that! Oh damn! Oh fucking.... Where’s the sword-lady when you really need her?!’

10: Voyeuristic much?

Kennedy woke as something soft and warm shifted on her chest, a soft snore tickled her throat. Someone larger pressed her down on the bed, dark hair covered her chest.

‘Eve, my girlfriend Eeeeve, was a blonde, wasn’t she?’ Kennedy thought sleepily. She freed herself from the human octopus and her eyes widened. ‘Dawn?! The kid? Buffy’s kid sister? Buffy’s going to kill me! Slowly and painfully. And Willow? She will probably magic me into a cockroach or something even nastier!’

“What’s wrong,” Dawn mumbled barely awake. “It’s not morning yet.

Kennedy looked at the clock at the bedside. No, it was late in the evening. “W...what are you doing here?”

One eye opened. “What do you mean, Kenny?”

“W...why are you… I mean… I mean…. why you… in my bed… sleeping on me…” Kennedy felt her cheeks turn warm and she wanted to hit herself over the head – twice – no make that three.

Dawn opened both eyes and looked a little startled. “I sleep down here all the time when your,” she pulled a face, “girlfriend isn’t around. We watch movies and stuff.”

“Oh.” Kennedy swallowed.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dawn asked concerned. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

“I’m fine. I just need some air – I think.” Kennedy got out of bed, feeling Dawn’s eyes on her all the time. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

“Okay.” Dawn placed a lingering kiss on her cheek, snuggled up to her pillow and immediately began snoring again.

‘I’m not that friendly with Buffy’s kid sister, am I?’ Kennedy shook her head in disbelieve. ‘Kenny is a real busy bird. I’ve had sex with Buffy.... no, I don’t wanna go there, not even in my mind! That’s really waaay to weird... and Dawn is crushing on me and is sleeping in my bed like she belongs there!’

The Summers house was dark, except for a dim light coming from the kitchen. Kennedy aimed for the backdoor, wanting to sit for a while on the porch, but something drove her to the kitchen door. She almost wet her shorts, in the not so nice way, when the sounds hit her ears.

“Inside me – hurry,” a woman moaned. “Please, I need you – now!”

Kennedy couldn’t control her curiosity, yet seconds after she wished that she had.

A woman was lying on the kitchen table, with her dress in a pool around her waist, her open mouth gasping for air, while another woman, a very familiar redhead, apparently did wonderful things beneath the waist. The bobbing head indicated exactly what. And then the demanded hand came into play and the other woman’s breath became almost pained, obviously nearing a very satisfying release.

Willow and Tara were making love. In the kitchen. On the kitchen table. Her heart thumped painfully against the breastbone and a part of her wanted to run for cover and never come out again. But apparently that part wasn’t strong enough, because she just couldn’t keep herself from staring at the hurtful, but very arousing sight.

The Willow she knew would never had agreed to having sex almost in public, or at least so much in the open that anyone could walk in on them, would she? ‘And I thought Tara was even shyer!’

At the moment there wasn’t much shyness about the two witches, though.

Both the witches were making highly erotic sounds, Willow’s a little muffled due to her position between Tara’s shivering thighs.

Willow’s other hand sneaked up and took hold of a full breast. ‘Mine would have done the same,’ Kennedy thought. ‘No, this really got to stop! Tara’s breasts are… off limit. How far out am I?! Thinking about Tara and other parts of Tara’s rather voluptuous body is sooo off limit. I’m in waaay too much trouble already!’

A keening sound interrupted her thoughts and the watched in awe as Tara came, clutching Willow’s hair and shoulder in ecstasy. Kennedy’s lower parts clenched in sympathy, remembering how skillful Willow’s tongue and fingers had been….

“Willow…..” Tara breathed. ‘I love you so much.”

Willow moved up to kiss her lover’s lips. “I love you, too, Baby. So very much.”

The hand between Tara’s thighs kept thrusting, soft and steady, making Tara moan again. “I don’t think I can….” she mumbled against Willow’s wet mouth.

“Yes, you can….” Willow insisted.

And as far as Kennedy could see, she could. Tara’s hips began responding, her back arched to meet the thrusts, obviously wanting Willow’s fingers deeper inside of her.

Kennedy stared fascinated, every sound and every caress felt like they ripped her heart out in small pieces, but she just couldn’t let go of the sight. ‘I’m a masochist,’ she thought, mentally trying to drag herself away from the hurt. ‘I’m a voyeuristic masochist, who should know better than to spy on the woman I’m in love with making love with she woman she loves. Even that sentence sounds sick, doesn’t it?’

Suddenly Tara’s eyes snapped open, eyes found Kennedy in the doorway. Their eyes met. Tara’s eyes widened.

Kennedy saw how near she was to coming again, but she visibly tried to hold it back, desperately tried to stop the inevitable, her eyes pleaded with Kennedy, she mouthed ‘I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.’

And then she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Kennedy left quietly, leaving the lovers alone with their love. She left to be alone with the pain. And the memory of Willow’s love.

11: Piece of cake

“You’re not the Kennedy we know, are you?”

Three days after the ‘incident’ in the kitchen, where she walked in on Willow and Tara making love, Tara finally managed to catch Kennedy alone. Not that Kennedy hadn’t tried to avoid a situation like that. She had practically done everything in her power not to spend time alone with any of the witches.

And she had avoided the phone calls from her girlfriend Eve in Boston, too. The fact that Eve called meant there wasn’t a Kenny there with her and Kennedy didn’t know what to think of that information. Eve, according to the others, sounded more and more desperate each time she phoned. Of course she avoided talking about that, too.

All this avoiding meant spending a lot of time training and patrolling with Buffy, and even if she felt a little uncomfortable with Dawn’s crush, she hung out with her in the evenings, ending them in bed with her - watching movies.

But she had felt Tara eyes on her at every opportunity the damn witch got and she knew that it was just a matter of time before Tara would confront her with something. She just hadn’t expected Tara’s words to be these:

“You’re not the Kennedy we know, are you?”

“Wh...what?” She swallowed nervously, and – did the thing she was becoming so good at – avoiding. The thing she avoided this time was Tara’s warm, knowing blue eyes.

“I know you’re somewhat connected to Willow in your reality I can see traces of her in your aura.”

Kennedy swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. Finally she asked: “You… you really see Willow in my aura? I didn’t think one could do that.”

Tara smiled. “One can’t. It’s more your reaction to her I can spot, your aura almost vibrate when she’s in the room, the rest is just simple deduction on my part.” The blue eyes turned sad.

‘An aura-reading, intuitive and hypersensitive witch, I’m SO fucking lucky, lying is certainly not going to be easy.”

“She obviously means a lot to you and it kills you not to be able to show her.” Tara closed her eyes for a moment. “You were… are lovers where you come from?”

This startled Kennedy so much that she almost fell to the floor. She stared at Tara with open mouth and huge shocked eyes, no answer and no comforting words came to mind.

“I sense no evil about you, but you’re have a very different… feel than our Kennedy,” Tara said, watching her carefully.

“Feel?” An uninvited flash of Willow bringing Tara to climax made Kennedy blush.

Tara hesitated. “You remember when we first found you?”

Kennedy nodded, she hoped she was right about this; that the Kenny of this reality was identical to the time traveling Kennedy version 1. “Yeah, outside The Magic Shop.”

“What I sensed in you at that time confused me,” Tara continued.

“You and me both,” Kennedy mumbled.

“I saw how you looked at all of us, like you knew us, and I saw how you looked at Willow,” Tara’s eyes closed. “You were in love with her, and it wasn’t a new feeling for you.”

“I...I....” Kennedy had no idea what to say. “I’m sorry,” was what came out of her mouth.

“No.” Tara lifted her hands. “It’s not that. Let me finish.” She swallowed hard. “It didn’t take long before Willow developed a crush on you, maybe that’s why I was so sensitive to your feelings and moods.”

Kennedy flinched.

“As time passed you moved on. Your feelings for Willow grew into a friendship and you met other women. A lot of other women to be precise.”

That made Kennedy smile a bit. “Are you telling me that I sleep around – a lot?”

Tara returned the smile. “No, I’m just saying that you haven’t been in love – since Willow, but you enjoy all the perks of dating – a lot. Eve is your most serious relationship.”

‘Do I look forward to meeting this Eve?’ Kennedy thought. ‘Or should I just run and hide?’

“And now,” Tara brows furrowed. “You’re in love with Willow again and I sense some of the same confusion, of the same bewilderment that dominated your essence the first time we met. Not as strong, but it’s there.”

‘She’s good,’ Kennedy thought nervously.

“I know you’re not here to hurt us, but why are you? Here, I mean.” Tara asked. “Am I right about this?”

In a split second Kennedy decided to trust someone, trust Tara, with the truth. Maybe the clever witch could help her figure it out, find a meaning and a purpose to what she was going through. ‘And I need to know why I time-jumped the first time, why I have done it again and how I can find my way back.’

And then she told Tara the whole story or at least part of it. About The First, about Willow awakening all the slayers, about closing the Sunnydale Hellmouth permanently and how she suddenly found herself thrown a couple of years back in time.

“Then my intuition was right? You and Willow were together?” Tara asked weakly, eyes huge and moist. “As lovers?”

The pain in her eyes made Kennedy’s stomach clench and her throat constricted painfully.

“We didn’t break up, did we?” Tara asked softly.

Kennedy shook her head, not trusting her voice.

“I died,” Tara realized, suddenly very calm. “That’s why you and Willow were together. I died.” She visible shook this new knowledge off her. “And now I’m alive and you are in love with Willow?”

“Yeah.” Kennedy could only agree. She tried hard to suppress the tears threatening to ruin her tough girl image some more. ‘No, no breaking down, not now. Please….’

Unexpected Tara hugged her long and hard. “Will you be okay?

“Yeah,” Kennedy snuggled closer to the larger woman, feeling the comforting warmth and the soft swell of full breasts against her upper chest. “This reality is much better,” she whispered into Tara’s shoulder. ‘No evil witch, no heartbroken and remorseful Willow, no dead Tara, and no traumatized Buffy – at least not yet, and not ever, if I can do something about it!’

Tara loosened her hold and Kennedy stepped back. A little embarrassed by the display of vulnerability.

“We have to figure this out,” Tara said, ignoring Kennedy's uncomfortable fidgeting. “Now we just have to find out why you’re time traveling. There’s got to be a purpose. And someone must gain something from it.” Tara brows furrowed in concentration.

Kennedy waited impatiently for her to continue.

“And we have to prepare for the sword-lady to return.”

“What?! What do you mean?” Kennedy asked nervously.

“She tried to stop you from saving me from Glory,” Tara said thoughtfully, “and she will probably try to stop you from doing whatever it is you’re here to do this time.”

“Yeah.” Kennedy hadn’t even considered that.

Tara continued her line of thoughts. “We have to go back and think about what you saving me accomplished. What happened after Glory attacked me at the fair – in your original timeline? Did I die then – after Glory?”

‘What did Willow tell me about that?’ Kennedy searched her brain for information. ‘Did she tell my anything at all? Or maybe Dawn did? She talked a lot about Tara.’ In the back of her mind she finally found something useful.

“No, Tara, you didn’t die. I think Glory did something to your brain, it made you lose your mind for a while. Willow pulled on some heavy magic to get it back to you intact.”

“Dark magic,” Tara mumbled concerned.

“And then Buffy sacrificed herself to save Dawn, the key that is, and to get rid of Glory.”

“You mean she died? Buffy died?” Tara whispered.

“Yeah.” Kennedy nodded. “It took some time, but Willow found a way to resurrect her.”

“What?! She did what?!” Tara exclaimed in horror. “No, I don’t want to know. This is not the reality we’re living now, it doesn’t matter what that W...Willow did. My Willow never went the dark route, she came close a couple of times, but n...never anything like that.”

Kennedy debated with herself and fidgeted some more. ‘Should I tell her exactly how dark Willow got?  Tell Tara that she left her lover because Willow fiddled with her mind, about Warren, about Willow almost ending the world? No, I can’t do that to her – or to Willow for that matter. If she doesn’t ask, I won’t tell. It’s not important in this timeline. This Willow is not the Willow I know, I changed things, made the outcome slightly different, it probably made Willow slightly different, too.’

Tara’s voice brought her back. “So what you did when you stopped Glory was make it unnecessary for Buffy to die, right? Maybe that means that….”

“Buffy is in danger this time around, too,” Kennedy finished.

Tara nodded in agreement. “If this is about Buffy, and most things on the Hellmouth are, you’re probably here to save her again.”

Kennedy swallowed. ‘Save the slayer? A piece of fucking cake!’

Tara snorted and remarked humorously: “That should be a piece of cake!”

12: Unrequited love?

*BOSTON*

“What are you doing here?” The short blond woman asked coldly.

“I wanted to talk to you – about the job.” The tall brunette answered.

“What job?”

“Kinda the same as yours, Evelyn. We’re on the same one, you know.”

“Not exactly!” Evelyn snorted. “We sooo not in the same business!”

The brunette’s eyebrow lifted. “We do things differently, Evelyn, but essentially we have the same goal. Won’t you let me in so we can talk about this?”

Reluctantly Evelyn moved away from the door and let Jace in.

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“You know that Kennedy have changed history significantly, right?” Jace asked. “My employers tried to stop it, without luck. I was their last resource.”

“I don’t believe that!” Evelyn yelled angrily. “They could have stopped her without reviving that ancient out-of-date murder instrument!”

“Hey!” Jace exclaimed. “That ancient out-of-date murder instrument as you call it has been in my family’s possession for more decades that you can count! My employers work under a very strict set of rules and the sword were one of the few solutions they had. And my family has an obligation to respond when it’s been called upon in a just cause!”

“Just cause!” Evelyn snorted. “What you’re doing is wrong, can’t you see that? She’s an innocent and you’re trying to kill her with that damn prehistoric thing because some power hungry fools say so!”

Blue eyes darkened. “Contrary to you fucking her to submission in the name of the ‘greater good, you mean?” she sneered acidly.

Evelyn snorted. “I knew you were jealous!”

“I never knew you were a whore!” Jace retorted angrily.

The hand reached her cheek before she could catch it. Evelyn’s green eyes were cold with anger. “Even if it’s none of your business, Jace, I happen to like her. She’s attractive, fun to be with and she’s a real firecracker in bed!”

Jace flinched as she tried to cover up the hurt she felt from the venomous words Evelyn threw at her.

“The timeline has already changed radically, Evelyn, and even more will change if we don’t stop her.”

“Kill her, you mean,” Evelyn closed her eyes. “I won’t let you do that.”

“The time traveling Kennedy in Sunnydale right now, is not the Kennedy you know,” Jace said softly. “There’s been made a new jump, they have put her in position to prevent the last significant event from happening.”

“I thought she prevented the two significant events with your wonderful stroke at Glory?” Evelyn smiled with no humor. “You really blew that, didn’t you?”

Jace’s face darkened. “There’s one event left. It could make what’s meant to be happening anyway.”

“I tried to take her with me to Boston,” Evelyn mumbled, almost to herself. “If she was in Boston with me she couldn’t mess things up in Sunnydale.”

“And YOU blew that, didn’t you?” Jace used her own words against her. “And know you’re here, letting your… “she spat the word out, “lover change history one more time. Why didn’t you follow her back, Evelyn? Why?”

“Maybe the change is better than the original. Haven’t you thought about that? Maybe the outcome will make up for the change in history?” Evelyn’s voice broke. “I have come to like those people and they are so much happier now and I think they can deal with what’s ahead of them. With the time traveling Kennedy’s help I even think they can….”

“That’s not what my employers think,” Jace interrupted. “Kennedy’s was send back by people with a very specific goal to….”

This time it was Evelyn who interrupted: “And your employers haven’t got a very specific goal? This is a question of power, Jace, and you’re just a pawn in that game.”

“And you’re not?” Jace retorted.

“Maybe I am,” Eve said sadly. “But I try to do what’s best. There was a time when you did that, too. When you considered all the evidence before you acted. Now you follow those who awoke the sword without questions, disregarding your beliefs and your common sense.”

“I had you before,” Jace looked down at her feet. “You always kept me in place.”

“Oh Jace,” Evelyn whispered.

“I know I blew that, too,” Jace said, pain evident in her voice. “And I know that I have no right to question your relationship with Kennedy. But I still love you.” She swallowed hard. “I want you to know that.”

She turned around and walked out, softly closing the door behind her.

“I love you, too,” Evelyn couldn’t stop the violent sobs from controlling her body.

*SUNNYDALE*

Dawn had watched Kennedy sleep for almost an hour. She didn’t understand her feelings for this girl. From the first time they met until this day it had been there. Oh yes, she got an occasional crush on some cute guy from school, but she always returned to… this… to Kennedy, a girl who had dated half of the female population of Sunnydale. And, not to forget, had sex with Buffy, the one she could never compete with.

‘Why can’t Kennedy consider me as dating material?’

It would probably never happen, Kennedy still saw her as a kid, and more important, as Buffy’s kid sister. Dawn couldn’t understand the age thing.

‘There’s not even two lousy years separating us! What’s the big deal?’

Careful not wake the other girl, her hand moved forward and she buried her fingers in thick dark hair. She couldn’t stop herself from snuggling closer, enjoying the warmth from Kennedy’s muscular body.

Kennedy mumbled something and suddenly Dawn found herself enveloped in strong arms, pressed against the full length of a beautiful naked body – with beautiful naked breasts touching her own clothed ones.

‘I shouldn’t enjoy this so much,’ Dawn though guiltily. ‘She’s asleep, damn it, and this is wrong!’

A shiver traveled along her spine when Kennedy’s fingers caressed her neck and throat, another set of fingers found the lower part of her back, just above the buttocks.

Dawn moaned. ‘This is not good,” she thought, feeling herself getting inappropriately aroused. ‘Oh no, this is soooo wrong!’ But she didn’t end it, she just lay there, letting the arousal take over.

But the shock of feeling Kennedy’s lips on her own almost made her scream. She felt a tip of a tongue across her lips and when she gasped the agile muscle slipped inside and swept across her teeth, probing further and finally finding Dawn’s tongue.

Dawn couldn’t help herself, she responded longingly to the highly erotic dance and floated lightheaded in all the strong emotions that almost drowned her in pleasure.

A soft moan escaped the still sleeping Kennedy and her hand began a much more determined mapping of the curves on Dawn’s body. It was like her whole body tightened and the wetness between her legs increased, making the crotch tingle, begging to be touched.

She was beyond reason now, beyond any thoughts of stopping, instead she began her own research on Kennedy’s body.

Kennedy gasped when Dawn’s eager fingers pinched stiff nipples. “Willow,” she moaned.

It felt like a bucket of iced water drowned Dawn’s passion. She pushed herself up from the sleeping Kennedy, overwhelmed by despair she wanted to dig herself a hole so deep that she would never see the daylight again.

“Dawn, what is happening here?!”

13: Fire

Willow gaped at the scene before her. Dawn’s face was redder than anything she had ever seen and Willow could certainly understand why; there was no doubt in her mind what was going on, but what really threw her was the fact the Kennedy seem to be asleep and not a participating at all, but that didn’t mean that something hadn’t happened earlier. Willow could practically smell the arousal in the room.

Dawn’s crush on Kennedy was a well-known fact of the Summers extended household, but Willow hadn’t thought that Dawn, and certainly not Kennedy, would ever go this far.

“Dawn?!”

“It’s…. have you not heard about knocking before entering a room?” Dawn asked defiantly. “You’re supposed to be the clever and well-mannered one!”

“I did knock, no one answered, I was worried about Kenn, she hasn’t seemed like herself lately.” Willow stopped abruptly. “Why am I explaining this to you? In fact, you’re the one with some explaining to do, missy!!”

“What’s going on?” Kennedy’s sleepy voice startled them both.

“How could you do this?” Willow seethed. “She’s only 16!”

“What?” Kennedy eyes rounded in confusion. “What did I do?”

“She didn’t do anything!” Dawn yelled, torn between feeling angry and embarrassed. “She’s hopelessly in love with someone she can’t have… you of all people should know that!!” She jumped out of the bed, almost tackling Willow to the floor on the way out of the room.

“I don’t believe you, Kenn! She’s only 16 and to make it all worse, if it actually could be worse, you got a girlfriend, you remember the blonde babe with the greens eyes, doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Willow turned around and ran after Dawn.

Kennedy had no idea what was going on. She put on some clothes and went to the kitchen to get something to drink.

Tara sat at the table reading a newspaper. Kennedy stopped and watched her drinking something from a large cup. She had come to like the witch very much, Tara was the only one who knew the truth about her, but that was not why she had come to care so much. She felt safe with Tara, a feeling she hadn’t known she missed before meeting the witch.

And she wasn’t bad on the eyes either. Kennedy preferred small women, frailer than herself. She was very conscious of the fact that she was short, and she was attracted women who could make her feel strong and competent.

Tara was very different. Her body was curvy, not exactly overweight, but very womanly.

‘Voluptuous, I just love that word!’

She was taller than Kennedy and even if she had shy and gentle nature, there was no doubt that the witch had a sharp mind and a strong will, and she was obvious center of the Summers household.

The fact that Willow loved the woman beyond anyone and anything else wasn’t a mystery to Kennedy anymore. When Tara had been a mere ghost in Willow’s past, it had been difficult to understand what it was Willow still missed and loved so much, and why she still felt a mind numbing grief from the loss of her first female lover.

Suddenly that strange sizzling feeling she had felt one time before, began nipping at the back of her brain. Whatever she was here to do would be happening soon.

“Where’s Buffy?” Kennedy’s voice startled Tara, who jumped to her feet like she was ready to defend herself. The Geek Trio being around and potential dangerous made everybody alert and a little edgy.

“Oh, hi Kennedy. I didn’t see you come in,” Tara gave her a lopsided grin.

“Where’s Buffy?” Kennedy repeated.

“Is something wrong,” Tara asked nervously.

Kennedy nodded. “I think it’s going to happen now.”

“What’s going go happen, Kennedy?” Tara asked confused.

“Come on, let’s go find Buffy.” For some reason Kennedy didn’t want to do it alone, she needed Tara there with her.

“Maybe we should find Willow….”

“No,” Kennedy interrupted, “she’s talking to Dawn.”

”Dawn?” Tara asked, even more confused now.

“Dawn was upset about – something,” Kennedy explained with hesitation, reluctant to tell the witch that she was somehow involved in Dawn’s predicament, even if she wasn’t exactly sure what had happened. “Teenage stuff, I suppose.”

A short fragment of a dream. Highly erotic. Willow. Close to orgasm.

‘Oh God, did I… do something to Dawn? Did WE do something?’

The insistent tingling in the back of her brain reminded her that she had something important to do and that considering the implications of this morning with Dawn had to wait.

“Never mind all that,” Kennedy said aloud. “I have to find Buffy.”

Tara nodded and followed Kennedy outside.

They didn’t have to search for Buffy, she was right there, facing a very agitated Warren.

Suddenly everything made sense; Warren was about to shoot Buffy, and by accident killing Tara, making Willow’s life a living hell.

But Tara was down here, by Kennedy’s side, and not in the witches’ bedroom where she was supposed to be, feeling the afterglow of hours of lovemaking after the grand reunion. Kennedy didn’t know if she should panic or not.

“The sword-lady,” Tara sounded scared.

Kennedy saw the sword-lady without the sword running towards her, closely followed by a blonde girl, both waving their arms, like they were trying to get everyone’s attention.

“Eve?” Tara gasped surprised.

Warren and Buffy argued unaffected by the fuss around them. A slight movement made Kennedy look up at the witches bedroom window where she spotted a figure with the back to the dramatic scene below it, she couldn’t be sure if the back belonged to Dawn or Willow.

Kennedy didn’t know what to do, she wanted to scream at Dawn or Willow, telling them to duck, but she didn’t want to scare Warren and make him fire the gun, instead she concentrated on the things she could do something about.

“Find some cover, Tara!” She didn’t want Tara to die and she knew that if things ended like the last time it happened, Tara would soon be dead.

Now she had to stop Warren from… And then she saw the gun pointing at Buffy.

“Stop him, Kennedy,” the sword-lady and the blonde yelled.

And finally Kennedy was able to move, but the sound of a gun being fired, told her that she was too late.

‘Tara!’ she thought frantically. ‘Oh, please God, don’t let Tara die again.’

14: A couple of days before – the heavy explanation

*BOSTON*

Evelyn was almost ready to go. If Kennedy wouldn’t come by herself, then she just had to somehow force her to leave Sunnydale. She had wanted to do this without magic, without using the vast knowledge her heritage as a semi-immortal warrior for the greater good provided her with.

The fight for the greater good wasn’t over yet. The chain of events was changed due to Kennedy’s interventions, but Evelyn could feel that the final battle was about to take place.

If she hurried she could be there in time, she mentally kicked her own ass for hesitating so long, if she hadn’t let her confused feelings for Jace color her actions, everything would have been fixed by now. Or at least that was what she tried to tell herself when she remembered the weakness she had shown during this ordeal, a weakness that could easily cost Kennedy and her friends dearly.

‘It was easier in the good old days where everything was black and white, when evil was easily spotted and good wasn’t tainted and full of contradictions.’

A knock on the door startled her out of the gloomy thoughts. And she knew who it was, felt her presence like a physical blow to the chest. Bound together for centuries, half of their expected lifetime, because of destiny – but more important because of love. Evelyn whole being was tuned to her former lover, and under normal circumstances it would make her feel safe and deeply cared for. Now she just felt sad and nervous.

She opened the door. “What do you want, Jace, shouldn’t you be off preparing to assassinate Kennedy?”

“”Hallo to you, too,” Jace responded and stepped into the room. “We got to talk.”

“Haven’t I heard that line before?” Evelyn refused to meet her eyes. “And we all know how well that worked the last time you said it.”

“I have done some research and I think I know why this whole thing has been staged. And I’m not sure I like it very much,” Jace said in a strained voice.

Evelyn couldn’t help but smile. “No beating around the bush for you, is there? Always right to the point.” She finally dared to let their eyes meet.

Jace’s dark eyebrow arched, her ice blue eyes radiated warmth and a sad longing that made Evelyn’s stomach lurch.

She ignored the emotion and forced herself to continue. “Tell me what you found out, then.”

Jace sighed with relief at the friendly opening Evelyn had just given her. “You were right.” She grinned at the look in Evelyn’s face. “As always, I know!” Her brows furrowed. “There’s so much to tell and I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Tell me about the ones that activated the Sword,” Evelyn suggested. That event had been the reason for their split up and she needed to know why.

Jace flinched at the tone in Evelyn’s voice, but she chose to ignore it and began the story. She told Evelyn about how she was contacted by a mixed group of Watchers, witches and other suspicious characters, called ‘The Keepers’, that wanted things to stay as they were intended to be. ‘The Keepers’ was the ones that activated The Sword. And started the rift between the two semi-immortals.

Jace never believed that she was going to be the one to respond to the activation of The Sword. But when her predecessor died after 600 years of intense living, the family duty was hers to embrace.

And that had thrown her into a mess of enormous proportions.

“A young woman from ‘The Keepers’ came to see me,” Jace began. “She told me about a group of villains called, of all things ‘The Group’.”

“Did you know her, the woman, I mean?” Evelyn asked.

Jace shrugged. “Something about her seemed familiar. She was very young, in her early twenties, shortish dark hair, dark eyes, and all teeth.”

“All teeth?” Evelyn asked amused.

“Yeah, she had a lot of them, white and very prominent in her face, actually she was quite beautiful.” Jace grinned at Evelyn’s raised eyebrows. “She was, but I’m more into the lighter look myself.” She winked.

“You are, are you?” Evelyn smiled, before turning serious again. “Tell me about ‘The Group’?”

“A strange bunch of people: Another set of rogue Watchers, defectors from the Initiative, just to name a few. These people wanted to stop Willow from gaining the power that would make her capable of activating the potential slayers. They wanted to renew the Watchers Council and regain control with the present slayer and the future line of slayers.”

Evelyn nodded. “That makes sense. They send Kennedy back to the significant magical points towards Willow’s walk on the dark side.”

“Yeah,” Jace said. “Getting Tara’s mind back from Glory, resurrecting Buffy and finally the rampage after Warren killed Tara.”

“If they stopped Willow from getting all that magical knowledge, they could keep her from becoming the powerful witch she was meant to be, and prevent her from being the one behind the defeat of The First and the closing of the Sunnydale Hellmouth.” Evelyn nodded again. “How did they send Kennedy back and what would prevent them from doing something similar when or if they fail this time?”

“The spell that made Kennedy’s time traveling possible was a onetime deal. It dissolve after use and can’t be revived,” Jace explained.

“How convenient for us,” Evelyn said with heavy sarcasm. “One thing less to worry about.”

“I believed them, Evelyn, I believed that the people that activated The Sword were trying to stop ‘The Group’ from messing with what was meant to be, and I believed that they did it for the greater good, not for their own purposes.”

“You have never believed in killing innocent people, even for the sake of the greater good,” Evelyn pointed out. “What was different this time?”

Jace faced fell in shame. “The Sword made the difference, Evelyn, it was made to kill, I somehow got caught up in that.”

“What did they want, Jace?”

“They wanted Willow to gather all the power she could and then they would find a way to control her.”

“If they gain control with a witch with that much power they could practically rule the world,” Evelyn said. “But what about Willow’s friends? They would do everything in their power to stop them – and they are not a powerless group.”

“And they would get killed in the process,” Jace concluded. “Even the slayer is no match for Dark Willow.”

“So they activated The Sword to kill Kennedy and stop her from changing things?” Evelyn asked.

“Yeah, when they heard about Kennedy’s time traveling, made possible by ‘The Group’, they decided to stop her and use this chance to change things their way.” Jace closed her eyes. “And that’s when my live got screwed.”

“But you failing to kill Kennedy stopped their plans?” Evelyn ignored the last sentence.

“Yeah,” Jace shrugged. “For now anyway.”

“Why The Sword, Jace? It seems like an ineffective way to kill someone?”

Jace grinned without humor. “The Sword allows me to time travel, that made things easier for them, or so they thought.”

“We have to deal with them, don’t we?”

Jace nodded. “Yeah, we have to stop ‘The Keepers’ AND ‘The Group’, but now we have to get to Sunndydale and stop Warren from killing Tara. I think this version with all of them alive and kicking is much, much better.”

Evelyn smiled, a sad wistful smile that told a tale of wishful thinking and renewed hope for a future together with Jace, despite all the painful things they had gone through. Did Jace feel the same way or was the relationship with Kennedy too much to handle for her?

“Jace?”

Jace blue eyes met Evelyn’s green ones and they stood there staring at each other, not knowing what to say to make it right between them again.

Jace coughed uncomfortably. “I know I let you down. You tried to talk some sense into me, but I refused to listen.” She paused, her eyes moist with tears. “Do you love her?”

“Yes, I do, but….”

Jace closed her eyes against the pain. “No, that’s okay, you don’t have to explain, I just wanted to know.” She swallowed hard. “Let’s get to Sunnydale before it’s too late.”

Evelyn grabbed her arm. “Jace, listen to me. I was with her for almost 6 months. I couldn’t be with anyone that long if I didn’t love her, not even for the greater good. Not that it matters anymore really, the Kennedy I know is gone.”

Jace shook her head. “You don’t have to explain. I understand, really I do.”

“I don’t think you do,” Evelyn insisted. “I love her, she’s been a wonderful friend and a beautiful lover, but I’m not IN love with her, she doesn’t own my soul. There’s only one person who fit that profile.” She gave Jace a lopsided grin, trying to lighten the mood. “Guess who?”

Jace hesitated before answering: “Me?”

Evelyn rolled her eyes. “Who else?”

“Do...do you… do you think there’s a chance that we can work this out… start a...again,” Jace asked with an uncharacteristic nervous stutter.

“I’m willing if you are,” Evelyn answered. She took a step forward and ended up in Jace’s strong arms.

And suddenly the future looked much brighter.

15: The future is now… or is it?

When Kennedy woke this time, she somehow knew that she was at her final destination. There would be no more time-jumps, no more changing history. This jump had placed her were she would live for the rest of her life. And that thought scared her beyond anything scary she had ever faced before.

Did Tara die? How did the last intervention in history end? With the same result as the first time around or had things turned even more catastrophic.

‘I won’t open my eyes, if I keep them closed everything will be okay,’ Kennedy repeated to herself, trying desperately to make it so.

But she had to open them and face reality, she knew that, she couldn’t stay with eyes closed for the rest of her life, even if some part of her wanted so bad to do just that.

‘Come on, baby, wake up and face the damn music and hope for the best.’

Her wide opened eyes recognized the basement apartment in the Summers House.

‘What’s this? Shouldn’t Sunnydale be a fucking hole in the ground by this time?’ And her heart missed a beat when she realized that the slayer in her was still gone.

‘Something must have gone wrong. Willow somehow failed to activate the slayers.’ Kennedy stomach clenched. ‘What about The First? Did we lose? No, I wouldn’t be here if we lost the fight, would I?’

A picture of a smiling Willow greeted her on the nearest shelf.

Cautiously she walked upstairs, fear clutched her heart because she didn’t know what and especially who she would find there.

What she found was a smiling Buffy on her way out. “Great, you’re up. I really missed you tonight, it’s not the same without you.” Buffy hugged her warmly and kissed her cheek, their lips almost touching.

And then she was gone.

Confused Kennedy walked into the living room.

“Hi, sleepyhead,” Dawn greeted her happily. “I never thought I would see you again.”

“What do you mean?” Kennedy asked nervously.

“You have slept for twelve hours, Kenny,” Dawn laughed. “I’ve been checking up on you during the day to see if you were still breathing. We were a bit worried about you.”

“I…what? I mean… what?”

Dawn giggled. “I’ve always loved the way you handle words, baby!” Dawn hugged her and kissed her lips lightly. “See you tonight.” And then Dawn was gone.

‘She kissed me?! Like it is something we do all the time. Does that mean I’m dating the kid – I mean, Dawn now?!’

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

‘Tara! Tara is still alive? Warren didn’t kill her?!’ Kennedy stared at the witch like she was some sort of magical wonder.

“Kennedy?”

Kennedy practically jumped into Tara’s and hugged the taller witch like she never wanted to let go.

“You’re alive, you’re alive….” She kept repeating the words like they were mantras from Heaven.

“What’s wrong, Kennedy? Has something happened?” Tara asked confused, stroking the younger woman’s short dark hair, her eyes fixed on the expression on Kennedy strained face. “You made a new jump didn’t you? You’re not the same Kennedy we have known for the last year.”

Kennedy wasn’t able to force the words past the huge lump in the throat, so she just nodded and swallowed hard.

Tara’s face paled. “So you have no idea what has ha...happened since… since…?”

“Since Warren,” Kennedy managed to answer and hoped Tara knew what she was talking about, because she wasn’t sure she could explain further.

“Oh….” Tara’s eyes widened and swam over with tears. “Oh Kennedy, I’m so, so sorry….”

“What are you sorry about, Tara? I’m sure this is my last jump, I’m back where I started, even if things have changed quite a bit since my first visit.” She smiled broadly and hugged Tara again. “For instance you seem very much alive and I’m sooo happy to see that! I’m so happy for you and Willow.” And she really meant that, even if it killed all hope of Willow being hers again.

“Sweetie,” Tara said softly, tears running down her cheeks. “W..Warren k..killed her. Warren k...killed Willow.”

Those words caused the blood to leave Kennedy’s brain, she felt like the world around her turned hollow and black. Unbelievable grief overwhelmed her, sobs wrecked through her body like a tornado destroying all hope of a happy end, her heart threatened to blow the chest to pieces as she struggled to find another meaning in Tara’s terrible words.

Then she lost consciousness.

*******

It was an evening full of tears and stark grief. As gently as possible Tara tried to explain what had happened after Kennedy jumped, but Kennedy already knew. Willow had been the one Kennedy had seen in the window and she was the one the stray bullet had killed.

Kennedy’s intervention in history had saved Tara, but killed Willow instead. It was a hard reality to swallow, but Tara did her best to make it at least bearable to live with, but Kennedy wasn’t sure it worked.

When Tara ended the tale of time after Willow’s death, a mix of guilt, grief and pain almost knocked her out again.

‘I asked Tara to go with me to find Buffy, I let Willow stay behind to die!’ She swallowed hard trying to control the sobs.

‘Please, please, please…. ‘She silently pleaded with whomever that was responsible for sending her time jumping. ‘Please, have mercy on me and send me back one last time. I can’t be the cause of Willow’s dead, I simply can’t!’

She desperately wanted both witches to live. If she could die instead of one of them, she wouldn’t hesitate for a minute.

“Kennedy?”

She felt Tara’s soothing hand on her arm. “Yeah,” she answered between gritted teeth. She couldn’t fall apart now, she had to be prepared for the work that still had to be done.

In this reality The First hadn’t been defeated and according to Tara, the other Kennedy had suggested that they should use a very old spell to make contact with the deceased Willow and ask her to help them. It was their last way out. As it seemed right now The First couldn’t be defeated and they were desperate.

Buffy’s self-confidence was low, she hadn’t faced an opponent she couldn’t defeat by herself since Glory, and so everybody looked for unconventional methods to deal with The Biggest of Big Evils. And when Giles, with help from Jace and Evelyn’s expanded knowledge of ancient magic, found a spell they could use, Buffy and Kennedy had been ecstatic.

Tara was far more reluctant, far more concerned about the outcome, mainly because she knew she was going to be the one to make the journey.

“Why are you so nervous about it?” Kennedy asked. “Aren’t you anxious to see her again?” She moved closer to Tara, wanting to offer her all the support she could, like Tara had done earlier.

Tara’s rested her head on Kennedy’s shoulder. “I really don’t know how I feel about this. I’m s...scared. I’m afraid I’m going to h...hurt all over again. I...I love her s...so much.”

“You get a chance to say goodbye, Tara,” Kennedy said.

‘I would give my right arm to get a chance like that.’

“It must be hard on you, too.” Tara fingers restlessly rubbed Kennedy’s back. “You remember her alive and not so long ago your girlfriend. I can’t begin to imagine how it must feel.”

Kennedy closed her eyes and let Tara’s warmth comfort her. “Tell her… tell her….” Kennedy searched for all the things she wanted Tara to tell Willow.

Tara kissed her forehead. “I know and I will.”

“We’ve become close this past year, haven’t we?” Kennedy asked softly.

Tara nodded. “Willow’s death devastated us both. We helped each other come to terms with it all. We fought our guilt and grief together.”

“Guilt? Why should you feel guilt?” Kennedy asked.

“Willow died instead of me….” Tara eyes pooled. “I was supposed to die, not her.”

They sat close together, crying and remembering Willow and their love for her, until Buffy returned and Giles said it was time.

16: Meeting Willow

Tara closed her eyes and concentrated on the chanted words Giles and Evelyn whispered out it the sphere. She felt the magic slowly surrounding her, focusing on it with all her senses. Her heart instantly began throbbing like a giant ache and hot sweat drenched her clothes.

A short image of magic shared with Willow passed her mind.

She remembered bathing senses in the sight, feel and smell of Willow while they prepared for the spell and then the following connection, the bond that grew between them, how sensual it felt when they were surrounded by each others essences - a feeling of indescribable completeness, happiness, and fulfillment. She couldn’t find enough wonderful words for that feeling. And it had been so long….

“Tara?”

Tears began to pool, her heart threatened to explode. That voice belonged to Willow. It sounded exactly like it did the last time they talked, the last time they made love - in that single word, her name, Willow always managed to convey the deep love she felt for her.

‘This is going to be an unbelievable wonderful, heartbreaking and soul-touching nightmare!’ Tara thought before she opened her eyes and saw Willow standing beside her, looking as cute and beautiful as ever. And then she smiled – Tara wasn’t sure she would survive being exposed to that smile much longer.

Longing penetrated every inch of her now overheated skin, flowed with the bloodstream, filling every available spot in her body and soul and ending its journey by taking a firm, almost painful hold on Tara’s already much tormented heart.

“Wi...W...Willow.” With great difficulty the beloved name left her suddenly stiff and very uncooperative lips. And then hands touched her, Willowhands. One single touch made her loose breath, her ability to think and her capability to keep tears and emotions in check.

“Tara, Tara baby, you’re okay. I’ve been expecting you.” Willowvoice. “Come one, baby it’s okay to look at me, I won’t leave before its time for you to go back.

“I w...want to s...stay w...with you,” Tara whispered, her voice painfully thin, reflecting all the pain she had lived with since her lover’s wrongful death. “I should have died, not you!”

She felt Willow’s arms around, hugging her long, hard and lovingly. “In many ways the end result is much better now,” Willow spoke softly into her ear. “Later on you’ll understand, but for now we must play by the rules.”

“How can you say this is better?” Tara said, almost angrily. “You’re dead, Willow!”

Willow caught Tara’s hurt blue eyes. “The changes Kennedy caused have made a lot of things different, Tara. A lot of good things replaced the bad and our friends have a better life because of it.” Willow placed a finger on Tara’s lips to keep her from protesting. “You don’t know how it would have been, baby.”

“Tell me,” Tara kissed the finger and licked the tip lightly.

Willow trembled. “You got to stop that.”

Almost forgetting the pain and sorrow at the sight, Tara smiled slightly, she kissed the trembling finger one more time and then stopped. There was a right time for everything.

Willow’s eyes closed and she found her equilibrium again. “In your world Xander and Anya is married and very happy. Buffy didn’t die to save Dawn, I didn’t revive her to a life estranged from her own feelings, hurt and confused. In this reality Dawn gets a chance to find the happiness she thought couldn’t be hers, and I didn’t follow the road to dark magic, I didn’t violate your beautiful mind, we didn’t break up, you didn’t die and I didn’t kill.”

Tara gaped at her.

”And that’s just a small part of all the good things that came out of Kennedy’s intervention.”

“But for Kennedy this reality is not she great, she made everything better for them, but she lost the one she love, and so did I,” Tara objected.

Willow’s expression told Tara that there was more to that part of the story, than Willow was prepared to tell her. Willow knew something, something obviously very significant.

“Just trust me, baby, Kennedy will be happy and so will you,” Willow mumbled into Tara’s hair. “At first you will help each other heal – and then you’ll be strong enough to make things more right.”

“What….” Tara nuzzled the nearest bit of bare flesh, she wanted to devour her lover, remember as much as possible, so she had something to relish in the cold and lonely nights to come.

“Trust me.” Willow closed the discussion with very welcomed lips.

*******

At first, in the afterglow of lovemaking, Tara couldn’t feel anything but happiness and the wonderful sensation of having Willow in her arms again. When her senses kicked in again she finally took the time to study the room she and Willow had made love in.

It was an exact replica of the room they had shared when the first moved in together, the room, and the time-period it symbolized, represented the time when they were most happy and carefree.

“Tara,” Willow’s hoarse voice made Tara shiver in a lot of places. “Our time together now is nearing the end. And we still have ‘The First’ to defeat.” She kissed Tara with passion. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Tara, listen to me, don’t close the door on love, you’ll love again and it will be wonderful. You’ll support each other, teach each other important stuff, you’ll teach her how to let the love she refuses to recognize in. And then things will end like you both want it to, and as it were meant to be.”

Despite the seriousness of the talk, Tara giggled. “Cryptic much?”

Willow giggled, too. “Just trust me on this.”

“We are meant to be forever, Will, and I can’t think of anyone else as… as… a new you, I just c...can’t!”

Willow moved closer, placed several small kisses on Tara’s face, throat and chest. “Baby, no one is going to replace me, trust me, I can’t tell you anymore than that, but please trust me on this.”

“I...I….” Tara gave up taking and cried hard as Willow kissed and licked the tears away

“Tara, you are my only one and I’m yours, you’re the one with whom all the pieces fit and it’ll always be that way with us. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t fall in love again, deeply and sincerely. Give yourself permission to love until it’s time for things to change. Promise me that, Tara, promise me.”

Suddenly the door to the room opened and Tara turned to see who was about to disturb them in the middle of the painful conversation. And she was met by two very familiar eyes.

“It’s me?” The Tara by Willow’s side shrieked. “H...How…?”

The Tara in the doorway looked embarrassed, but smiled the very recognizable half-smile, that both Willow and Tara herself knew so well. “It’s time,” she said. “We have to do it now.”

The Tara by Willow’s side jumped out of bed and stared down at Willow, demanding an answer.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Willow said sadly. “I should’ve explained things for you before… but you…we….”

“Then explain now!” Tara grabbed the nearest piece of clothing and covered her naked and deeply satisfied body for the other Tara’s eyes, veiled against revealing the pain Tara knew she had to be feeling.

It was doorway Tara, not Willow, that finally answered her question. “Kennedy’s actions created some sort of paradox here. We haven’t got much time left to explain, it’s a very complicated matter, but in short I’m part of a paradox.” She gestured at herself. “I’m the Tara that died after being hit with Warren’s stray bullet. I’m the Tara you were before you met Kennedy the first time, before she defeated Glory.”

“Then why isn’t there another Willow, another Buffy?” Tara asked. “Buffy died, too, in your reality, didn’t she?”

This time Willow answered. “There is another Buffy.”

“Oh….” Tara eyes widened.

Willow continued. “It’s a very complex and difficult thing to explain. “In the first reality when Buffy died… and you died, Kennedy showed up years later, Buffy had been dead and revived and you were… still dead. You both died before “The Group” sent Kennedy time-traveling. I died in the new reality, and somehow became the only Willow, because I was the new version and not the original who I somehow replaced….”

“Willow,” doorway Tara stopped her rambling.

Willow blushed. “Anyway, the Willow this Tara,” she pointed at the Tara in the doorway. “remembers is still somehow present inside of me. I can’t remember it and only know what you… I mean, this Tara has told me.” She hesitated and glanced worriedly at doorway Tara. “I replaced her Willow.”

“But one day we will be integrated,” doorway Tara continued, now the pain in her eyes were evident. “Like the two Willows will.”

Bedside Tara paled and stared at her counterpart. “When I die we will melt into each other?”

Doorway Tara reverted her eyes. “When you and Willow reunite it will happen for us, and for the already integrated Willow-parts, too. We will remember both set of lives.”

Bedside Tara took some time to swallow it all. A couple of minutes later she looked at Willow, her eyes unreadable. “So, you two are… t...together?”

Willow flinched, her cheeks reddened. “We…I mean…she…we wasn’t… she is you and I am me… but… so….I….”

“It's okay, I understand.”

Doorway Tara came to Willow’s rescue. “At first we had a hard time dealing with this, being the same but yet different,” she explained softly. “And we didn’t throw ourselves at each other. We both felt it was cheating to our respective real partners, but as you may have guessed we gradually fell in love again, like we always will. We haven’t….” she blushed. “consummated it yet, if that’s what you’re asking. My Willow doesn’t exist anymore, but you do, so it’s more difficult for her to let me love her. I accept that. You’re her Tara.”

Bedside Tara’s eyes moistened, she could feel pain exploding from her counterparts soul, the grief and the deep hurt for being so near, and yet so far away from the one she loved so much. “And then I came and spoiled everything. I’m sorry. It must be hard for you, too. She’s your Willow, too.”

“No,” doorway Tara shook her head. “Don’t be sorry, you’re still her Tara, even if we are the same, I accept and respect that very much. If Willow wants us to wait until we’re integrated, I will wait by her side and give her all the love she will let me.”

A mix of acceptance, understanding and a trace of jealousy was present in both set of blue eyes.

Doorway Tara shook off her uneasiness. “We have to go now, we have some things to tell you about defeating The First,” she said. “When you get back you won’t remember much about this part of your visit here – at least not until we’re integrated. “I’ll leave you two to your good-byes.” And then she did just that.

The remaining Tara knew that discussing this matter again would only waste valuable time, so she just took Willow into her arms and they stood close together, feeling each other, touching each other lightly like they were afraid of losing this moment too soon. And then she kissed Willow one last time.

“You have my blessing, Will,” she whispered into her lover’s ear. “She is me and she loves you just as much as I do. Don’t keep her waiting anymore, she has lost and suffered so much already. Her Willow doesn’t exist anymore, she’s in you somewhere. And she longs for you desperately. I know I would.”

Willow nodded, tears streaming down her face. “I promise, Tara, I love you,” she whispered brokenly.

“I love you, too, Willow.”

17: After Sunnydale: One year and a couple of months later.

*CLEVELAND*

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Kenny. Happy birthday to youuuuu!!!!”

Kennedy hid her face in the pillow. Dawn’s voice led the choir of friends, reminding her that this was her birthday number….21. From this day on she was considered a grownup in almost every country in the world.

‘Yay me,” Kennedy thought with no enthusiasm.

Xander and Anya were there with their newborn, Buffy sang - of course! - out of key on purpose, Dawn enthusiastic and cute as always, Giles’ voice outshone everyone and Tara, wearing a huge smile, came in as a close second. Kennedy never knew that the witch had such a clear, beautiful voice, Tara’s shyness still prevented her from putting herself on display like that, but today she sang like she enjoyed it and the voice tugged at everyone of Kennedy’s heartstrings.

‘Pure, like an angel,’ she thought lovingly. ‘A perfect fit.’

“Now,” Buffy demanded. “Get your lazy butt out of bed. We have breakfast ready for you in the kitchen.”

“What? No breakfast in bed?” Kennedy asked with mock indignation. “I thought it was a given on birthdays in this house.”

“Nope,” Buffy grinned. “Not after the last time we did that. I don’t want food fights anywhere in this house, not even in your own room. So, get up and smell the coffee…in the kitchen, please!”

Kennedy was still amazed by the Buffy of this reality, in contrast to the tormented Buffy from before the world changed. It was like the Buffy now and and the Buffy then represented two entirely different species.

In the altered reality they were actually great friends and devoted sisters in combat against evil, and she liked and admired the slayer immensely. And she knew the feelings were mutual.

‘If I have to be honest, and when you’re 21 you have to be, don’t you? Oh God, I hope not! That could get reaaally ugly. Anyway, in all honesty, I’m not like I used to be either. Not at all. The spoiled brat Willow fell in love with, moved out a long time ago, leaving only a few – charming? - traces to pop up every now and then.’ She grinned inwardly. No, brooding was more her thing nowadays.

Tara always said she was too young to be this serious, but Willow’s death had changed everything and the guilt was a heavy burden to live with.

*******

The party had been going on for hours. Kennedy watched Dawn slow-dance with ‘The Boy’, her boyfriend for almost 7 months. Kennedy didn’t like ‘The Boy’ as she chose to call him instead of his name. He was immature, cocky, a smart ass and not at all right for Dawn.

Tara found him sweet and funny, and pointed out that he could easily be Kennedy’s younger brother, they shared the same colors and features and he behaved much like Kennedy did when she came to Sunnydale on her first time-travel. And Buffy had the imprudence to agree!

It would be needless to say that the comparison really pissed Kennedy off. Tara just laughed.

‘You’re jealous, Kennedy,’ Tara teased. “You’re so used to Dawn pining over you all the time and now you miss it. You just don’t like competition.’

Of course Kennedy had denied that, loudly and aggressively. And Tara just laughed, a wonderful light laughter that made Kennedy warm - and admittedly - waaay to tingly for her own good.

Sometimes that damn witch drove her absolutely mad – in more ways than one!

“You seem far away,” Tara sat down beside her. “This is a party, YOUR party, Kennedy, you’re allowed to have at least a small amount fun.”

Kennedy shrugged. “I’m just thinking.”

“There’s never ‘just thinking’ with you, Kennedy. What’s wrong?”

Kennedy sighed. ‘That damn witch never let me get away with anything!’ She frowned. ‘So similar to Willow and yet entirely different. They are both shy, both highly intelligent, Tara is very sensitive to and intuitive about people and emotions, and Willow - sometimes Kennedy’s whole body ached when she though about her former lover - Willow was more….

“I recognize that look in your eyes,” Tara took her hand and squeezed it gently. “You’re thinking of W...Willow.” Tara hardly stuttered anymore, but talking about Willow always brought it back.

Kennedy lowered her eyes. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Tara’s eyes pooled. “I m...miss her, too, and I think we always w..will. And that’s okay, Kennedy, it’s okay to keep on r... remembering her, even if it makes us sad once in a while, as long as we don’t let it swallow us up.”

Kennedy knew that the ‘we’ Tara kept referring to, actually was a ‘you’. After visiting Willow in the realm of the dead, Tara had come to terms with Willow’s death and the fact that this time around Willow was supposed to die instead of her. She still loved Willow very much and always would, but she accepted that the love of her life was no longer there and she accepted the fact that she had to move on sooner or later. Live a full life without forgetting.

Kennedy wasn’t that far yet.

“Come on, sweetie, let’s walk a bit,” Tara suggested. “I think it will be safe tonight.”

Kennedy nodded and followed that witch outside.

They walked for a long time, silent and hand in hand, as they had done so many nights before. They were comfortable with each other and the loss of Willow had brought them very close together.

It was a kind of relationship Kennedy hadn’t experienced before. Yeah, she had friends, and she had lovers, but what she had with Tara was… different. It scared her sometimes, just as much as it made her heart swell with gratitude.

When they finally returned home, the party hadn’t slowed down. They went to the back of the house to their favorite star-gazing spot. They sat down in their favorite star-gazing position, where Tara pulled Kennedy’s body closer, until the shorter woman’s back was leaning against her chest.

That was another thing that was different with Tara. Kennedy was a holder, not one to be hold, but somehow Tara managed to change that, and now, when it had been too long since their last star-gazing, Kennedy found herself craving the closeness and the feel of Tara’s warm breath brushing her ear and the nape of her neck.

Kennedy turned, wanting to see Tara’s face, and now they gazed into each others eyes for a long loaded moment. Kennedy couldn’t help herself, she just had to reach out and touch. Tentative fingers caressed Tara’s full lips, lips she hadn’t dared thinking about kissing before. Lips opened and let out a small moan, a sound that made Kennedy’s heart gallop like a wild horse on the run.

They moved together, their faces so close that they could feel each others warm breaths against their suddenly extremely sensitive lips.

“Tara! Kenn! Where the hell are you?” Dawn yelled. “Something important has come up!”

‘Of course,’ Kennedy thought. ‘Why should this be different from like thousands of irritating interruptions of love scenes from various movies and books?’ She cursed inwardly. ‘A beautiful opportunity lost, damn it!’

And from the startled and very shocked look on Tara’s suddenly pale face, she probably wouldn’t get a second chance, and furthermore she should consider herself lucky if it didn’t damage their unique friendship.

*******

Kennedy kinda liked Angel, but right now she wanted to stake or at least throttle him for interrupting.

“So,” she sighed. “This means that the LA-gang has destroyed ‘The Group?”

Buffy grimaced. “But we mustn’t forget that ‘The Keepers is still out there and they can still stir up a lot of trouble.”

Giles nodded. “My guess is that they will go after Faith now, the only unprotected force left to corrupt. They probably need some time to regroup, but after that – who knows.’

Buffy sighed. “Great, a new story already preparing to unfold, there’s never any peace for us, is there?”

“She’ll be safe in prison. As long as she stays there, there’s a chance they can’t get to her,” Giles said unconvincingly.

“I’ll talk to Angel, maybe he can keep an eye on her,” Buffy muttered. “I know he visits her once in a while.”

“The Faith I knew was on our side,” Kennedy said. “What about this Faith?”

Buffy shrugged. “Have no idea. Angel says she’s difficult to read and she refuses to talk about the past with him.”

“She’s vulnerable,” Tara said softly. “And she’s all alone. Maybe we should….”

“NO!” Buffy interrupted sharply. “She’s not going to connect herself with us. No way! She a rogue and very dangerous card and we can’t be sure she has changed. I don’t trust her.”

Kennedy sighed and rolled her eyes. Paranoid Buffy was apparently present in every reality. And the complicated relationship between the two slayers was still a mystery to her.

“Are we done now?” Dawn asked. “If anyone should have forgotten I have a boyfriend and a party to attend.

Kennedy growled.

Tara watched her with an unreadable expression in her eyes.

‘Speaking of complicated relationships,’ Kennedy thought darkly. ‘Why do I always manage to mess wonderful things up?’

When Tara averted her eyes, got to her feet and left the room, Kennedy followed her, desperate to know what the witch was thinking and feeling.

And she almost died on the spot when she found Tara staring blindly at the stars, her face wet with tears, crying like there was no tomorrow.

Cautiously Kennedy walked closer, her heart clenching as she nervously regarded the woman.

“Tara?”

Kennedy sat down beside her and carefully took a trembling hand and kissed it lightly.

“I love you,” Tara whispered.

Kennedy swallowed. “I love you, too,” her voice hoarse with emotion.

“I don’t know how to feel and think anymore, Kennedy. In another world you and Willow were lovers and I know that my Willow had a crush on you. And now….” She squeezed Kennedy’s hand tightly. “Now I find myself in love with you. When W...Willow died you became the only one I could really rely on to understand, you have been a beautiful friend, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Kennedy heart started beating very fast. ‘Is she breaking up with me? No, she can’t break up with me, there’s nothing to break, is there?’ “What are you saying, Tara?”

Suddenly Kennedy found herself in the middle of a kiss that almost blew her mind. Tara’s lips, those wonderful full lips, made her body and soul feel things that she couldn’t even hope to describe adequately.

They held each other close, wanted to feel every fiber of each others bodies, while lips and tongues explored, devoured, loved….

And somehow they knew that the Willow they both loved approved.

Or at least they really hoped so.