Title: Surrender
Author: amluv
Fandom: All My Children
Summary: Maggie comes to terms about her feelings for her best fried
Pairings: Maggie/Bianca
Rating: PG 13- mild language
Feedback: yes please.
Distribution: Realm of the Shadow
Disclaimer: Characters herewithin are the property of ABC/Disney...Mine is merely active imagination and wishful thinking...;)
A/N: this isn't beta'd so as in all things in my life...any mistakes found are totally mine.
Maggie sat there listening to Bianca, every word felt like a tiny needle, repeatedly pricking her flesh. "...so I just don't know what to do about it Maggie. What do you think I should do?" She asked in desperation.
"I'm not sure I'm the one to ask Bianca, my track record is pretty bad when it comes to relationships." Maggie answered uneasily.
The last thing she wanted was to give Bianca advice about making her relationship with Lena work. Actually, she thought to herself, she would rather dive in a vat of sulfuric acid, than do so. The more she thought about it, it would have been less painful than watching Bianca settle for someone like Lena. Lena...Lena...Lena. It seemed like all Bianca ever talked about these days was Lena. And Maggie just about had her fill of Lena.
"C'mon Maggie you're a smart person and you can read people pretty well. Tell me what you think."
"Look Bianca, I don't know! I mean what exactly is it you want me to say? I mean honestly..." Maggie yelled, no longer able to contain her irritation. "I mean all I wanted to do was come here get some nachos, gossip, be silly, and just chill out for a few with my best friend. Buuut noooo, all I get is the "oh what am I gonna do about Lena?" show. It's old and it's tired Bianca. And I've had enough. You want my advice, if it's this damn hard, then break it off! I'm so outta here."
And with that, Maggie gathered her things, stormed out and left a stunned Bianca sitting alone in a booth at BJ's.
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Hours Later:
"Can I come in?"
"Why? So you can get pissed and run out and bail on me again? Sure why not, I'm kinda use to it now." Bianca glared at her as she stepped aside to allow Maggie entry into Erica's penthouse.
"I guess I deserve that." She said as she hesitantly walked into the living room, thankful for the relative darkness inside. She had been crying since she stormed out of BJ's that afternoon. And the last thing Maggie wanted was for Bianca to see her for the emotional wreck she was.
"What do you want Maggie? Bianca asked flatly, still leaning on the front door.
'Good question.' Maggie thought to herself. The only answer she could come up with was that she didn't want to be anywhere Bianca wasn't. And with that thought, somehow everything had become abundantly clear to Maggie and all she had to do was surrender to what it was that she was feeling. Turning around, Maggie just looked at the taller girl, taking in every line, every curve. She was beautiful and amazing and Maggie felt something strange, yet familiar in the pit of her stomach and before she knew it, the words had escaped from her mouth.
"Do you love her Bianca." Her voice barely above a whisper.
"Huh? Maggie wha..."
"Lena. Do you love her? I mean do you really love her?" She asked again, as she began walking toward the window. She could feel Bianca's eyes trailing her from the direction of the door.
"You asked me earlier today what I thought you should do about Lena." She said looking out at the skyline.
"Yeah and you went ballistic and bailed on me and..." Maggie had cut her off.
"I think if Lena...if Lena is the one person you think about constantly, the one person you can't wait to see or talk to about anything and everything. If she's who you trust the most and go to no matter what, or who you know you can just be with and do nothing and still feel like you've just had time of your life and just makes you happy. Is it Lena who is the one person who knows you inside and out and accepts you for who you are unconditionally and is the one person you know you could never, ever be without. And is she the one person who makes you feel like you can do anything, or be anything. Does she make you feel more alive than anything else in this world? If Lena is that person, then you should hold on to her and never let go."
She slowly turned around as she felt finger tips touch her shoulders. She willed herself not to look up, convinced she wasn't ready to see what was waiting for her in those huge, deep, chocolate pools. Even in the dimness of the room, she knew she would buckle at the very site of them gazing down at her. Bianca placed her thumb and index finger between Maggie's chin and lifted her head up, but Maggie wasn't ready just yet, and she pulled away slightly.
"Maggie, where is all of this really coming from?" She asked softly.
Maggie sighed deeply and the tears that she had been keeping at bay since she walked through Erica's door, slowly eased themselves out of the corners of her eyes, and she prayed that Bianca couldn't see them as they watched each other's reflections through the glass.
"My entire life all I've ever done consistently was run away." She began.
"When things got to rough with Gwen. I ran. I left Frankie there only with her. Left her there to fend for herself. And I never looked back. Not once did I ever look back." Her voice was shaky and her legs felt like they were about to give way beneath her.
"You see Bianca, when you run, it's kinda hard for someone to catch you, hold on to you. I run when I get scared. I run when things get bad and God help me, I run when they're good too. I run because it's all I know. And up until now, it's always worked."
"So what's changed Maggie?" Bianca asked as she leaned in closer, almost whispering the words into Maggie's ears.
"You Bianca. I met you and you turned my world upside down."
"I didn't mean to Maggie." She breathed.
"I realized something today." Maggie said, finally turning around once again.
"Yeah? And what's that?"
"That I'm tired of running and if I wasn't so quick to run, maybe, just maybe I wouldn't have missed out on the best thing that could have possibly ever happened to me. So Bianca, I'm asking you again. Do you love Lena?" She said, holding onto the brunette, desperately searching her eyes. She watched the myriad emotions play themselves out across Bianca's face, not knowing whether or not she was making the biggest mistake of her young life.
It seemed like an eternity before Maggie noticed the smile that graced Bianca's delicate features and it felt like her heart had jumped up into her throat. So she tried to brace herself for Bianca's answer.
"You want to know if Lena is the one person I think about constantly, the one person I can't wait to see or talk to about anything and everything. If she's who I trust the most and go to no matter what, or who I know I can just be with and do nothing and still feel like I've just had time of my life and just makes me happy. If Lena is the one person who knows me inside and out and accepts me for who I am unconditionally and is the one person I know I could never, ever be without. Is she the one person who makes me feel like I can do anything, or be anything? Does she make me feel more alive than anything else in this world? And if Lena is that person, then I should hold on to her and never let go. Right?"
"Yes. That's what I'm asking." She said shaking her head up and down.
"Is that how you define love Maggie?"
"I only know what I feel, Bianca. And that's what love feels like to me."
"Well, then Maggie, I have to say...yes, I am in love..." Before she could finish what she was about to say, Maggie slowly disengaged herself from Bianca and started to walk away from her. But Bianca grabbed her before she could go any further.
"I thought you were done with running act."
"Maybe it's the staying thing that's an act."
"Well, if that's the case, then you might not let the best thing that could ever possibly happen to you, happen."
"What are you talking about Bianca? How is you're telling me that you love Lena, the best thing that could possibly ever happen to me?" She asked bitterly.
"Well, if you let me finish what I have to stay instead of bolting out of here, you'll find out."
"Fine. Say what it is you have to say Bianca." She bit out, arms crossed over her chest.
"What I was trying to tell you is that there is someone who makes feel all of those things and then some. But it isn't Lena." Bianca slowly began to close the distance between them and then they stood in the middle of the living room face to face. She slowly reached out and cupped Maggie's cheek, tenderly caressed it, and leaned forward and place a feather light kiss on Maggie's lips.
For her part, Maggie had convinced herself that she had somehow managed to fall asleep and step into that all too familiar dream that she kept in the most secret of places inside of her. Convinced it would never become a reality. Yet, here she was, in the middle of Erica Kane's living room, kissing the one person she loved more than anyone or anything in this or any other world. And she smiled.
The kiss only lasted a moment, totally chaste and innocent, but still conveyed each girl's deepest heart felt desire. Both surrendered to their love for each other.
Fin