Title: Girls Movie Night
Date: March 28, 2001
Series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spoilers: Umm, not unless your clueless and don't realize that Willow and Tara are a couple… and Anya's sex crazed?! Oh yeah, and Dawn is Buffy's sister. This takes place early in season five, before we find out exactly 'what' Dawn is.
Disclaimer Joss, Mutant Enemy… I love y'all!
Note: Gracious to Bekj and Xita for the beta. Gawd, I'm beginning to think I can actually spell! Hehe.
Summary: It's the first annual Girl's Movie Night and Buffy, Anya, Willow and Tara get to know each other a little better… and well, Buffy and Anya get to know Willow and Tara a LOT better!
Buffy adjusted her position on the couch slightly. Wiggling her toes out from underneath the blanket she had wrapped mummy like around her body.
It was the first of the girls-only Friday night movie-athons. Buffy, Willow, Tara and Anya had gathered together at the Summers' home about an hour ago and were in various stages of settling down for the evening. Earlier in the day, before leaving on a three-day trip to San Francisco, Joyce had been rather adamant that Dawn also be included in the night's festivities, to which both siblings had immediately objected. It took several hours of cajoling their mother for her to finally relent and agree that Dawn could spend one night, and one night only, at her friend Melinda's house.
Buffy had sighed in relief as they both helped their mother finish packing. She was very much in need of some time away from her constantly annoying kid sister. Dawn, on the other hand, was equally as happy that her mother had consented. Although, she loved hanging out with Willow and Tara and talking about witchstuff, unknown to either Buffy or Joyce, Melinda's older brother Todd was home from college for a few days and Dawn had a little crush on him. So the witch talk would have to wait for another night.
So the girls had packed their mother's stuff up and practically pushed her out the door to the car. A few hours later, Dawn was over at Melinda's, and the x-chromosomed members of the Scooby gang where settling down in the living room for their all-night movie-athon.
"Where is she?" Anya said annoyed as she lay on her stomach in the sleeping bag on the floor. She twisted around to growl in Buffy's direction. "I want popcorn!"
Buffy rolled her eyes, tossed off her blanket and got up from the couch. She had sent Willow in to help Tara get the popcorn when the blonde had stumbled back into the living room 10 minutes ago, slightly embarrassed by the fact that she didn't know where the popcorn was. Like she should have known, even though she'd never actually been in the Summers' kitchen before. Buffy had poked Willow with her foot to go help, and had settled back into the comfy couch. Obviously it had been a bad decision to send Willow in to help Tara.
So she dragged herself up off of the couch and headed towards the kitchen. When she reached the doorframe, she stopped abruptly. Looking back into the living room, and then into the kitchen again, she thought maybe it would be a good idea to quietly back away…
The sultry voice nailed Buffy to the floor. 'Umm, maybe I'll just watch and make sure they find everything okay.' She said trying to convince herself that she was only going to watch the two witches for purely selfless reasons. After all, someone had to make sure they knew where the popcorn was kept.
Of course, the real reason she wanted to stay and watch the two was more than her swirling mind wanted to consider at the moment. Settling herself against the right side of the doorframe and a little behind, Buffy positioned herself so she had an unobstructed view of the entire kitchen.
Tara was in the corner of the room, near the microwave, bent over slightly as she leant against the counter. Her arms rested against the cool titled surface as she watched the microwave timer ticking down, nuking the kernels inside. Willow, who had reached up into a high cabinet next to Tara to grab another box of popcorn, teetered momentarily before placing a hand on the blonde's back to steady herself. Once she had retrieved the box, she set it down on the counter, her hand remaining on Tara's back. Buffy watched as the redhead eased her hand downward in the direction of a small bit of exposed flesh just above her girlfriend's skirt. Gently slipping her fingers underneath.
"Willow!" Tara warned as she stood up knocking Willow's hand away from her body.
"What?" Willow smiled innocently at her girlfriend, a silly grin on her face.
Buffy had to clasp a hand over her mouth for fear her laughing would interrupt the scene. Sometimes Willow was just too cute.
"W-w-we need to finish the popcorn." Tara said as she pointed to the microwave.
"We are. I mean it's not like we can put some witchy spell on it to make it cook any faster now can we?" Willow's broad smile curled into another grin Buffy had never seen before, and the blonde slayer watched as Tara gulped in trepidation.
"Willow." Tara's soft deep voice was nearly lost to the slayer, but Buffy managed to hear enough of the blonde's tone to know that she was both afraid, and aroused.
It didn't take long for Buffy to figure out why. In a flash Willow twirled the blonde wiccan back around facing the microwave. She pushed her body against Tara's back. When Tara tried to protest by pushing her away, Willow grabbed Tara's hands and placed them firmly on the counter top, palms flat.
"Stay." She said commandingly.
It was Buffy's turn to gulp. This was so wrong. She should turn right around and head back into the living room. She was watching something that was meant to be between 'those' two... not shared. But she couldn't move. She had to admit, she was intrigued by the two wiccans.
When Willow had announced that she and Tara where more than just 'Wicca buddies', it had taken some time for Buffy to really get use to that fact. And she had… gotten use to it, mostly because she absolutely adored Willow. The slightly neurotic babbling redhead was as dear to her as her own little sister.
Plus, Tara was the kind of person it was almost impossible to dislike. Her shyness and vulnerability made you want to hold her and protect her forever, but her knowledge and willingness to help when the scary stuff got 'real' scary, even though you could tell she was petrified most of the time, made one admire her.
So Buffy had gotten used to Willow and Tara as a couple... and Tara as a friend. So when she started to move beyond the initial shock, she started thinking about... well... Willow AND Tara. And what exactly Willow AND Tara did together… as a couple. She often found herself, patrolling late at night - alone - letting her mind wander to places she knew a best friend shouldn't let their mind wander to.
All Buffy knew was that Willow looked happier than she had ever seen her, and Tara stuttered a LOT less these days.
So right here, right now, watching the two of them, well Buffy just couldn't help herself.
Buffy quickly clamped a hand over Anya's annoying mouth. A quick glance back into the kitchen told her that neither of the girl's had heard Anya approach.
"Shhh." Was all Buffy said and pointed into the kitchen.
As if in total understanding, Anya simply nodded. Buffy resumed her place on the right side of the doorframe, while Anya took up residence on the left side. They both turned their eyes back towards the kitchen… to Willow and Tara.
Tara had moved her hand again and Willow placed her own over the blonde's. Running her fingers over the smooth top she whispered into Tara's ear, "Stay."
Tara shivered, thought about putting a stop to this, and decided she just didn't have the willpower. It was so hard for her to deny Willow anything. Laying her hand on the counter, she simply nodded. Buffy could see that Tara's compliance seemed to change Willow's demeanor. The redhead's smile disappeared and was replaced by a more serious look. Taking a small step back, Willow thought for a moment, and than gently eased Tara's legs open a little further. She than pulled Tara's hips back a little so that the taller girl was leaning over the counter slightly.
Willow's breathing increased as she licked her dry lips. Rubbing her hands together to warm them, she took a step forward into Tara's open legs. Locking her feet on the inside of Tara's ankles, she pushed the blonde's legs open a little further and than leaned into her body. "Love you." She whispered into Tara's ear.
Both Buffy and Anya physically leaned forward into the kitchen to listen to the words Willow caressed into Tara's ear. Buffy quickly glanced at Anya as if to ask 'maybe we should leave?' But when Anya simply continued to stare at the two wiccans, the last bit of conscious Buffy had slide away and she turned her eyes back to the scene.
Willow slowly ran her right hand up Tara's bare arm, gently over her shoulder and even more tortuously slow down the blondes' back. Once again reaching that small bit of exposed flesh right above Tara's skirt, she let her fingers slip softly underneath. The soft moan that escaped the blonde's lips nearly caused Buffy's knees to give way. 'Wow.' Was all she could think, because her mind, not to mention her body, just seemed to start pulsating when she heard Tara's voice.
Willow slowly began to lift up Tara's shirt. Her fingers lightly dragging upward as more and more pale flesh was uncovered. Willow stopped only when she was satisfied enough of Tara's back was exposed to her. She then held the shirt up and bent down, her lips began to caress along the same path her fingers had traveled.
Tara dipped her head forward, her hair fanning out along the counter. Closing her eyes tightly. She allowed her body to enjoy the touches her lover, her life, her Willow where enflaming her with. A slow line of heated kisses were placed up the side of her back, and when she felt that heat reach the edge of her bra, Tara grabbed desperately for something more stable to steady herself against.
The voice warned, and Tara replaced her hand on the counter, hoping her legs wouldn't give out and she wouldn't crash, forehead first, onto the hard tiled surface. Willow really could be quite sadistic at times... in a mini-sadistic kind of way.
Buffy couldn't believe three things; first, that she was actually STILL watching this; second, that Willow was quite the little control freak, and third; that the sight of Tara's exposed back was making her quite hot. And not in the 'turn-on-the-air-conditioner' kind of way. She dared not even glance over at Anya. She knew if she did, she'd probably feel very, very embarrassed.
Or more realistically, if she had looked over at Anya, the ex-demon would most likely have sanctioned her voyeuristic adventure. Not too mention that looking away might cause her to missing what was happening before her eyes.
After she had scolded her girlfriend for moving her hand, Willow allowed her lips to go back to sucking on Tara's back, just below her bra. Deciding she wanted freer access to Tara's body, she swiftly grabbed the edge of Tara's shirt and pulled it roughly over her head. Discarding it disdainfully on the floor.
Tara quickly repositioned her hands on the counter.
It was strange, even though Tara sometimes got a little scared when Willow would play these little games with her, in a way, it completely turned her on. And right now, she was very turned on. She could feel the heat pulsating in regions of her body slightly southward. Tara wasn't sure if it was the fact that either Buffy or Anya could walk in at any moment, or that, even though Willow was completely in charge, she knew that whatever she did, would do, would be to please Tara. She had never had that before... someone who loved her so much with every ounce of their being, that they would concentrate on nothing more than making her happy. Making her feel loved. Making her feel the way she did right now, aroused.
All conscious thought was abruptly ended when Tara felt Willow's hands wrap around her body, skid across her ribs, and arch upward hungrily filing themselves with her breasts.
"Goddess." Was all the coherent language that slipped from Tara's lips as she gave totally into her bodies wants and needs. She pushed herself forward into Willow's hands as the redhead squeezed and played with her.
Buffy wrapped her hand around the wooden molding of the doorframe and began to dig her nails in. This was a little more than she had bargained for. She'd never really thought of Willow... and well Tara for that matter, as these, well… as these sexual beings. Ones with, from what she could see, quite a hungry appetite for one another. And it was all just so damn erotic. She continued to be riveted by the scene.
Willow began to rake her fingernails over the already stiffened nipples of her beloved through the silky white bra. At the same time, she attached her lips to the back of Tara's neck and slowly began licking, nipping and kissing from just below her ear, to the edge of the blondes shoulder. Up and down again, she continued the sweet torture of Tara's nipples.
She never seemed to get enough of Tara. Touching her, kissing her. Touching Tara was all she ever dreamed of these days. When they were with the Scooby's, or others, she'd have to satiate her needs with a small touch on the elbow, or a quick squeeze of Tara's hand; but when they were alone, Willow wanted to touch ever-tiny bit of Tara's flesh. Inside, out, up and down. And she took every free moment that they were alone, like now, to indulge in her favorite pastime... Tara.
Allowing her left hand to remain fondling Tara's nipple, her lips followed her right hand as she bent down groping for the edge of Tara's skirt. Willow kissed the small of Tara's back as she began to ease her hand underneath the long flowing garment. She felt Tara beginning to shiver uncontrollably underneath her as she dragged her hand upward. Nails scratching lightly on the outside of the silkiest thigh Willow had ever felt.
As Willow lifted Tara's skirt up higher and higher, more of the blonde's pale leg was exposed to Buffy's view. Her eyes widened in worried realization at just how far Willow might take this. Did she really want to see her best friend making love to her girlfriend? Because, at the rate Willow was going, that's just what might be happening at any moment.
Sensing that Buffy was starting to waver, Anya quickly looked over at the slayer. Cringing her face in warning, she shook her head no as if to say 'you better not stop them.' Not waiting for Buffy's response, the ex-demon turned her attention back to the two witches.
Oh she was so enjoying the show. When first Tara, than Willow and finally Buffy had disappeared without getting her any popcorn, Anya had huffed out of her sleeping bag and angrily made her way to the kitchen. She instantly knew something was up when she saw Buffy peering around the corner like a kid watching something they weren't meant to see. She had spoken up only to be brutally, something she was most definitely going to tell Xander about tomorrow, quieted by the blonde. Buffy had motioned inside the kitchen, and once Anya had gotten her own glimpse of what was going on, she was all too willing to settle in for the ride. She had seen quite a lot in her 'too-many-years-too-mention' lifespan, and one of her favorite hobbies, one that had stayed with her through the years, was watching other people have sex. It was a pastime she had introduced Xander to, and she was most definitely not going to miss the opportunity to watch two live people have a little romp. Especially, since these days all she got to quench that particular amusement was when she sent her boyfriend out to rent porn videos. Plus, the two witches were quite fun to watch!
Willow's hand stopped when it reached Tara's hip. Although much of the skirt still hung down around the shy girl's legs, the entire side of one leg was completely exposed to the chilly night air. Willow wrapped the end of the skirt into the waist band holding it up, pushing Tara's leg open further, she draped her hand on her girlfriends thigh and slowly began to caress her way towards the front.
Not able to stand the heat that was pulsating through her veins any longer, Tara stood up and dropped her head back onto Willow's shoulder. Willow took the offered exposed neck and began to suck ruthlessly on the pulsating flesh. Tara wrapped her hand into the redhead's short trestles and held her firmly against her body. While Willow's left hand continued to indulge in the feel of Tara's nipple, her right hand worked its way forward and upward. Propping her foot up on a slightly open draw near the floor, Willow lifted up Tara's leg placing it over her knee, the blondes' foot dangled against Willow's calf. Willow now had all the access she desired and she did not hesitate, her hand moving swiftly to Tara's center.
Both Buffy and Anya's breathing increased... loudly. On either side of the doorframe they were both leaning into the kitchen as far as they could and still remain hidden. A very hard task indeed as Anya soon discovered. Tripping slightly in her eagerness, she stumbled slightly forward into the kitchen. Standing frozen, she waited to be yelled at. When neither of the witches turned around, she turned and grinned towards Buffy and simply stood where she was. It would serve them right if they turned around and saw both her and Buffy watching them. After all, they had forgotten about her popcorn.
Tara roughly pulled Willow's lips away from her neck and towards her mouth. Devouring the redhead the instant she felt Willow's fingers touching her panties. The moan that escaped her lips sent a dizzying sound that seemed to fill the entire space. Pulling Willow away from her so she could look into her green eyes, Tara said one simple word...
It was more than Willow could bare and she quickly worked her fingers past the waste band of Tara's panties.
The sudden sound of the microwave as it finished nuking the popcorn scared all of them and Buffy squealed. Buffy squealing brought the attention of Willow and Tara towards her, than Tara screamed...
"Oh my god!"
Pushing Willow away from her, she grabbed her shirt from the floor and rushed passed the other two women, making a mad dash up the stairs to the second floor bathroom.
Buffy just stood there utterly embarrassed and ashamed of herself for watching. Willow leaned against the counter with a look on her face half way between mortified, and smug, and Anya.... she just pushed her way past Willow and grabbed her popcorn.
"You were taking too long" She said nonchalantly and headed back into the living room leaving the two friends standing their shocked.
It had taken Willow nearly an hour to coax Tara out of the bathroom. When she had finally succeeded, Willow had firmly eyed both Buffy and Anya warning them both not to mention what had happened in the kitchen. Anya just flicked her hand at the two wiccan's in annoyance and went back to watching her movie. Buffy just smiled.
Everyone started to settle themselves down once again. Tara opted to squish herself as far into the side of the couch as she could, while Willow sat next to her. Buffy, who had been sitting at the other end of the couch, decided to slide off and sit on the floor, while Anya scrunched into the sleeping bag on the floor. For the rest of the movie, all four of them sat in silence, munching on popcorn and M&M's.
Well, Willow watched Tara more than the movie. She was kind of worried. All she could hear Tara saying as she tried to get her girlfriend to come out of the locked bathroom was, "I can't believe this... I can't believe this..." over and over again. Willow felt guilty of course. Because, like always... and there were more times then just this one instant in recent months, she was the one who had instigated such events. Tara really never complained. Well, she usually protested, but than she usually gave into whatever Willow wanted... and that's what was bothering Willow the most right now. Did she push Tara into these things?
Willow kept trying to get some answers from Tara's eyes, but the blonde would not look at her. She simply stared, uninterested, at the TV. She wouldn't even take any popcorn when Willow offered her the bowl. Willow knew she was embarrassed. Tara always got embarrassed. When they had finally acknowledged their feelings for one another, Tara seemed to get embarrassed even when they were holding hands. Willow, on the other hand, was simply oblivious to everything that went on around them. All she wanted was to be with Tara, to touch… to touch her all the time.
It was hard for Tara at first to get use to Willow's constant affections. She was so uncomfortable with the physical stuff, especially in public. It wasn't like she hid how she felt for Willow. Anyone with his or her eyes opened only had to look at Tara to realize it. The blonde had the ability to tell an entire story, or a simple emotion, with expressions… with her eyes. Every time she looked at Willow, the redhead melted and she would instinctively reach out for the blonde. Willow knew she was loved.
In a sense, Willow had tried to convince herself that all the public 'stuff' they had done as of late was her way of helping Tara get over the uncomfortableness of their relationship. At least that's what she tried to tell herself right before she'd get a mischievous little glint in her eye as she pushed Tara into the bathroom stall of the Bronze... or into the bathroom at Giles apartment. Yeah, she did manage to convince herself that she was just 'helping' Tara that's for sure!
But now... well the reality of that 'help' was painfully staring her in the face. Tara seemed to be trying to bury herself even deeper into the far end of the couch, not wanting anyone, especially Willow, to touch her. That's when Willow knew she'd gone too far.
Sighing defeated she got up. "I'm going to get another drink. Anyone want another?" She posed to the group waiting for a response. Only Anya and Buffy shook their heads no, so she sulked into the kitchen.
Buffy watched as Willow left, snuck a look out of the corner of her eye at Tara, and decided she'd better go talk to her friend. Try to fix this. Half of it was her fault anyway! So she got up and followed the redhead into the kitchen.
The first thing Buffy saw when she entered the kitchen was Willow was softly banging her head against the outside of the refrigerator door. Buffy quickly went over to her and made her stop. "Will," the redhead looked at her, burgeoning tears in her eyes. "Lets sit down." Buffy said, leading them both to the kitchen stools.
Willow didn't look at Buffy. She simply stared at her empty glass. Both of her hands wrapped tightly around the plastic Whinny the Pooh cup Dawn had gotten with a happy meal... that was, before she decided she was 'too' big and stopped getting happy meals. Buffy unclenched one of Willow's hands and held it.
"I'm so sorry Will."
"Oh, no Buffy it's all my fault..." Willow faltered slightly.
"Absolutely not Will! Anya and I..." Buffy's voice trailed off momentarily, "... we should have never... ya know... watched." The slayer squirmed in her chair uncomfortably.
"Oh Buffy." Willow nearly sobbed and leaned into her friend for a hug. "I think I've really messed things up. I mean really really."
Both girls hugged each other tighter and Buffy let Willow cry on her shoulder. After a moment, she pulled her friend away so she could look into her eyes.
"I doubt that Wills. I mean you and Tara, you're like, like... soul mates or something." Shaking her head and frowning Buffy continued, "I don't know. But I do know that the two of you are perfect together... you know that." She smiled up at green eyes that seemed to light up slightly. Wiping away a tear, "You are you know? I look at the two of you together sometimes and my heart aches. I don't know if I'll ever be that close to someone else ever again... that much love."
Buffy just shook her head, "No," she said almost defeated, "No, Riley and I, we... I don't know what we have, but it's not like what you and Tara have. Will. Nothing's like that."
This time it was Willow who wiped a lone tear from her friends' cheek. "You will Buffy. Maybe not with Riley, but you will."
Buffy smiled in gratitude. "Why do you think you've messed it up Will? I mean Tara's still here isn't she?"
"Yeah I know, but she won't even look at me Buffy." Willow pouted as she pulled away from her friend and got up to refill her drink. "Not to mention let me touch her." She added haphazardly.
"Well, maybe she figures you've touched her enough for one night."
"Buffy!" Willow was about to throw an ice cube at her 'friend', when Buffy threw up her hands up mollified.
"Whoa there slugger, only kidding."
"It's not funny Buffy, I really... it's like... you don't understand." Willow finally settled on, not really sure how to explain things to Buffy.
Although her friend had accepted her relationship with Tara, Willow knew Buffy was still a little uncomfortable with the idea. And the redhead wasn't quite sure Buffy was ready to hear about some things related to her relationship with Tara.
A myriad of emotions passed over the redheads face as she looked at her friend. As if sensing what was holing the Willow back, Buffy reached out her hand to her. Willow took it and sat back down.
"Willow, I know I haven't been the bestest bud I should have been since you and Tara... well, since you and Tara, but I want to be there for you. I want you to know you can tell me anything." Buffy tried to emphasis the last word so she didn't have to explain any further. The redhead's eyes light up in understanding.
"Are you sure Buffy? Because, because I really need someone to talk to about me and Tara stuff sometimes... I mean, REALLY."
Buffy stared at her wide eyed friend waiting in anticipation, "Yes, Will I'm sure."
A weight seemed to lift from Willow's shoulders and she settled in next to Buffy. "It's like… I don't know what it is Buffy. I've never been able to figure it all out. And it's not the magic thing either. I mean I thought it was at first, the magic. I thought that was why I felt the way I did about Tara. So drawn to her... so... um..." Willow looked at Buffy out of the corner of her eye wondering if her friend was really ready to hear all this. Buffy nodded telling Willow to continue. "I wanted her bad Buffy. Like real bad! I even did something that I'm not to proud of." Suddenly worried, Willow glanced towards the rest of the house making sure no one was listening than lowered her voice, "you can't tell anyone Buffy, no one." The redhead looked at her friend slightly afraid.
"Will, what did you do?" She questioned. Of course she would never tell.
"I... I... I kinda looked. Um, peaked, at Tara. Kinda when she didn't know it... like she was asleep." Willow looked away ashamed, but Buffy didn't quite understand and Willow could tell.
"Um Buffy, when Tara and I met we were friends, just friends. But we started seeing a lot of each other and, um," Willow adjusted her position on the chair and looked directed into Buffy's eyes, "do you remember the night I said I was in the chem lab all night... by myself?" Willow waited a moment for the memory to come to Buffy, when she saw the recognition in her friends hazel eyes, she continued. "I wasn't in the chem lab, and I wasn't by myself. I was with Tara. We were doing spells all night and that's when things started to change. I mean, I started to feel something for her, and I started to ya know, think about her." Ducking her head in embarrassment Willow continued, "Kinda naughty things about her."
Buffy smiled. That was the silly goofy Wills she remembered so well.
"We kept spending more and more time together doing spells and stuff. And after a while, being with Tara all the time, I-I-I just couldn't take it any more Buffy!" Willow said acerbated. "All I could think of was touching her and feeling her, and seeing her and... and..." It took a moment for Willow to calm her babble down. "And I felt like if I didn't see her, touch her, I'd explode. But I was so afraid Buffy. I didn't want to feel… feel like that for a girl." Willow paused only long enough to flash one of her puppy dog sad looks in Buffy's direction.
"I knew how Tara felt, which, now that I think about what I did it seems so incredibly stupid. All I had to do was ask and I'm sure Tara would have let me touch her anywhere I wanted." A large grin graced the redhead's lips, but quickly faded again. Frowning she continued, "I, we were doing spells all night and got tired. So I stayed over at Tara's, and while she was sleeping, I kind of... ya know... peeked." The last word squeaked out of Willow's lips.
"Peeked? I don't get it Willow."
Willow sighed resigned. She knew she'd have to tell Buffy the entire story. Sometimes her friend really could be quite dense!
"Will just tell me what you did, okay." Buffy nodded towards Willow to continue.
"It was that night, you know, when you got into the Initiative and we were suppose to be at the Bronze together, but you showed up like an hour late." Willow looked at Buffy sideways and the slayer tried not to feel too guilty about that night. "Well, I went to see Tara. I mean, she wanted me to come over but I had kind of brushed her off to go to the Bronze for the Scooby thing."
Okay, now Buffy did feel guilty.
"So I just showed up in the middle of the night, even though I knew she had been hurt by what I said earlier… so I just show up and she had the most beautiful wonderful smile on her face and I just wanted to melt. We did a bunch of spells that night and were pretty exhausted, so Tara had suggested I stay the night." Willow stopped just long enough to catch her breath. "So anyway, we were lying in bed and she was just so close… right there and I… and I…" Willow's voice trailed off into the silence of the kitchen.
After a moment, the frown that had creased across Willow's forehead subsided a bit.
"I don't know Buffy. I mean I never felt like that before." Willow seemed to settle into her memories as Buffy simply waited for her to continue again.
"I loved Oz. I loved being with him. And he was so sweet and gentle, but there's something about Tara… I feel… it's so strong Buffy." The words whispered out of the redhead's lips. "I just wanted so much to touch her." Willow said finally with a heavy exhausted sigh.
Buffy shifted in the hard wooden stool and took Willow's hand in her own. "What did you do Willow?" She urged gently.
Willow stared off into nothing as she recounted that night.
< * Flashback The 'I' in Team * >
Tara's dorm room was so dark that it took a few minutes before Willow's eyes adjusted. When they did, she let them drift slowly around marveling at everything she saw. All the little knick-knacks and pictures, every small detail unraveled a bit more of the mystery that the blonde still was to Willow. Time ticked and Willow simply enjoyed the quiet heat from the body next to hers. Unsure of how long she had been gazing at Tara's belongings, a sudden rhythmic breathing drew Willow's attention. She swallowed in apprehension. All the emotions, all the desires began to swirl uncontrolled inside of her as she turned to face Tara.
The blonde was lying on her back. Her hair fanned out on her pillow, her head tilting slightly to the right. Willow licked her dry lips as her eyes lingered downward. Tara's hands where resting one on top of the other on her stomach, one hand gripping the cover that barely reached her waist. Willow's eyes made another slow pass back up the blonde's body taking in more minute details. Like the fact that Tara's long exposed neck looked so smooth in the moonlight. And how the oversized jersey shirt she wore to bed had one of the top buttons missing. And how, because of that missing button, the edges of the shirt drifted down to her shoulders exposing a vast expanse of flesh.
Willow's neck began to ache, so she flipped onto her right side so she could continue to simply watch the blonde sleep. Tara was so still, calm. Just like when she's awake. Willow mused to herself, but her wanderings were suddenly cut short when Tara shifted. The blonde darted a leg in Willow's direction, her knee bending, as she stroked her foot on the redhead's calf.
Willow froze, her eyes fluttered shut as Tara's leg slipped between her own. She tried desperately to suppress the moan begging to be released. After a moment, Tara calmed again, and Willow began to as well.
But the darkness, and the heat of Tara's leg between her own infused Willow with a desire that would not go unquenched. Without even thinking, she reached a shaky hand out for the large red button that rested between Tara's breasts. The plastic bit slipping from its confine all too easily, and Willow looked back up to make sure Tara was still asleep.
Knowing she'd gone to far to stop this, stop herself, Willow's breathing increased even though she was desperately trying to remain quiet. Carefully she pulled back one side of the jersey, her eyes widening in amazement as one of Tara's breasts was revealed to her.
For the longest time Willow simply looked, biting her lip. And while her mind babbled silently, too distracted to stop her body, her hand hovered towards the blonde's exposed breast. A single finger grazed downward over Tara's nipple as the flesh stiffened.
"Willow." The word whispered through hazy desire into the still room.
Willow froze in absolute horror thinking for sure that Tara had woken and would be kicking her out of the room at any moment. Willow remained incredibly still as her heart pound in her chest. When what seemed like an eternity passed and she was still on the bed, instead of kicked on the floor, Willow cautiously looked back up at Tara.
The blonde was still sound asleep.
Hurriedly Willow buttoned the jersey back up, drew the covers back up to Tara's waist, flipped over on her other side and burred her face in her hands. Mortified at what she had done.
< * End Flashback * >
Willow tried to gain some control over her body, which seemed to be doing things that she really didn't want it to be doing sitting next to her best friend, as she finished her story. "Um… I thought for sure she'd wake up, but she never did. And than I realized what I had done and I got all nervous and guilty and… I mean… I like molested her Buffy!"
Willow squeaked that last sentence out quickly and sat quietly not looking at her friend. She really didn't know what she was expecting. Maybe someone to tell her what a bad person she was for doing something so naughty. Or possibly someone to tell her what she did was perfectly normal. That wanting someone… well a girl, that bad, as bad as she had wanted Tara, was okay. Maybe she just wanted everything to be okay again.
Buffy quickly tried to gather her thoughts. The first one that went through her mind was 'wow.' She had never realized what a horn dog her best friend was. The second thought was sadness. Regret. She hated herself for not being there to help Willow through all this in the first place. But she couldn't fix the past, only the present… the now.
"Willow, if you want me to tell you what you did to Tara was okay, well I can't. Only Tara can tell you that." Buffy saw her friend's face turned downward, crestfallen. "But if you want me to tell you that what you were feeling back then, what your feeling now, is alright, then I will. It _so_ is Willow. It's perfectly all right for you to love Tara, to… want her as much as you do." Buffy seemed to be at a loss for what to say next, but she tried to just continue onward, "I don't know Willow. I don't know what to tell you. I love you. You're my bestest best friend. You take care of me and look after me, and you've always been there for me even when I'm not always there for you, and all I want is for you to be happy. And Tara makes you happy. That's like SO obvious. And… and Tara's such a wonderful girl Will. I don't know." Buffy kind of threw her hands up in confusion. "Just love her Will, and tell her and… and everything will be okay."
Okay, so maybe it wasn't Buffy's finest best friend moment, but something she said must have made sense to Willow because the girl's green eyes lit up like spotlights and she smiled widely. They just stared at each other for what seemed like the longest time.
It was Willow who finally spoke up. Her voice was firm and reassured. "Thanks Buffy." It seems so simple, but it meant everything. Willow's smile took on a more mischievous glow, "ssoooo, you don't mind if we have these little talks more often then do you? I mean, ya know, comparing stuff… and stuff?"
The redhead's green eyes sparkled and Buffy's widened, than frowned, 'what have I gotten myself into,' she thought to herself. But before either could speak another voice chimed in.
"Um…" The soft low voice was unmistakable and Willow immediately turned towards the kitchen entrance. "A-a-are you going to come back inside? Anya wants to start another movie." Tara just looked down at the floor solemnly.
"Tara!" Willow squeaked and rushed over to her. Instinctively she grabbed for the blonde girl's hand but caught herself and held back. Turning a pleading look towards Buffy.
"I'll go in and see what's the what with Anya." Buffy got up and headed out of the kitchen. "You two need to talk." She patted Willow on the shoulder and left.
An awkward silence hung between the two lovers. Tara still looking at the floor, and Willow wanting more than anything for the blonde to look up at her. "Tara?" Willow finally questioned softly.
Tara lifted her head slowly, as if lifting it too fast would cause the headache she had to knock her off balance. As sad blue eyes finally meet hopeful green eyes, Willow ventured cautiously and took Tara's hand in her own. When the blonde did not protest or pull away, Willow tightened her grip. "I'm so sorry Tara. Please…" Willow tried hard to choke down the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. She couldn't loose Tara… she just couldn't. "I… I… sorry, so sorry." Was all she could think to say and she repeated it over and over again, softly.
Tara reached her free hand up and gently cupped Willow's tear stained check. "Willow." It was soft and filled with love and it melted the redhead's heart… like hearing Tara whisper her name always did.
Willow threw herself into Tara's arms. "Please don't leave me. I couldn't bear it if you left me." Willow managed to say through her increased weeping, grabbing onto Tara with all her might.
"Oh Willow." The blonde sighed and wrapped her arms tightly around her beloved. "I would never leave you. Not now, not ever. I don't think I could survive without you."
Willow pulled away and looked into her girlfriends' eyes. "Promise?" She sounded like a scared child, but she really didn't care… because in a way, that's exactly how she felt.
Tara smiled softly, placed a single kiss on Willow check and leaned towards her ear, "Promise."
They stood embracing each other for some time until they both had gained some of their composure. Willow mustered up some courage and finally spoke, "I'm so sorry Tara. I know you don't… you… I know I kind of for…." A gentle finger on her lips stopped her.
"No Willow, you don't make me do anything I don't want to do. I want you… need you to know, understand that. It's just, um, s-s-sometimes…" Tara didn't know how to say it.
"No, your right, I-I I kinda get a little crazed sometimes," the redhead smiled playfully, "but Tara," she brought the girl's hand to her cheek and rubbed it gently against her face. "Sometimes I just need you so much it scares me and I forget about everything, everyone, and I just want you… now, or then, or… well most of the time."
Tara chuckled softly, understanding. "I know Willow, and I want you too, all the time. But some things are hard…" she trailed off leaving the words unsaid. Words they had already discussed. Pasts they had already unearthed to one another. Willow shook her head in understanding.
"I promise I'll try to control myself more." Unfortunately it came out of her mouth a little to gleefully and both girls laughed.
"Okay." Was all Tara could manage before the screaming from the living room began to assault their ears.
"… care that you said no, I wanna watch it!" Anya scowled at Buffy as she tried to wrestle the video out of the slayers firm grip.
"No Anya. I told you I am not watching this damn movie!" Winning the battle, Buffy yanked the tape from the ex-demon's grip and flung it across the room. Her extra slayer strength kicked in and the tape shattered into pieces and flew all over the living room. Everyone just stood their ground stunned.
"Um…" It was, surprisingly, Tara who was the first to speak. Raising her hand slightly as if asking a question in school, "Um… what movie was it?"
Suddenly the other three burst out laughing. Tara watched the three with an amused look on her face not quite understanding what was so funny. When every one finally settled down, Anya spoke up.
"Well, we could talk about sex instead." She dove her hand into the bowl of popcorn in front of her and started munching.
"Anya!" Willow warned, not wanting to head down a road she knew would upset Tara.
"Yeah, come on Wills it'll be fun." Okay Buffy chiming in was absolutely no help at all and Willow frowned.
Now Willow was shocked! "Um Tara are you sure?" She couldn't believe her girlfriend had just said 'okay.'
"Hey look, if there's any question that someone is too uncomfortable to answer, then don't" Anya interjected while grabbing a handful of M&M's.
Willow looked into Tara's eyes waiting for the other girl to take the lead. "It's okay Willow. It's okay." She reassured her as best she could.
Willow grinned loopily and lead them both over to the couch, "We're in."
Everyone got comfy. Anya slid back under her sleeping bag but sat up leaning against the coffee table. Buffy slid closer to Willow on the floor and stretched her legs out under the same table, while Willow and Tara sat next to each other on the couch.
"So who should start?" The question came from Willow.
"Um… since it was my suggestion, I go first." Anya beamed and then concentrated. What do I want to know… what do I want to know. She pondered. "Okay," she sat up gleefully, "how many times, oh say in the last seven days, has everyone had sex?"
Buffy frowned and Willow began to count on her fingers.
"Um, clarify 'times'?" Buffy asked.
Anya looked at her like she was stupid. "You know, how many times you and Riley have bounced each other off the walls."
Tara giggled and covered her mouth and both Willow and Anya turned and smiled at her warmly.
"Oh," Buffy said. "Well you first since it was your question."
"Okay," Anya bounced happily. "Over the last seven days Xander and I have had sex 10 times." She exclaimed quite proud of herself.
Buffy grumbled, "Well over the past seven day's I've had sex… two times." She almost looked down in shame, but even more in anger when Anya looked over at her like she was pathetic.
"Poor slayer." She said patting her hand.
Buffy growled at her.
"Okay, you two?" The ex-demon pointed at Willow and Tara expectantly.
Willow finished counting on her fingers and spoke up. "Okay in the last seven days we've had sex 12 times!"
"What!" Anya screamed as if she'd been wounded. Buffy just looked at both girls with her mouth wide open… and Tara blushed quite smugly.
"Are you telling me that the two of you are 'doing it' almost twice a day?" Anya said in disbelief. When Willow's giggling kicked in, she knew that she was telling the truth. "Damn it! Xander needs to start picking it up! Damn it! No more sleep for him, no sire-e… I want more sex!"
Buffy just felt kind of… well, left out.
"Who's next?" Willow's bubbling happiness was infectious.
"Hey, you already went!" Buffy glared at Anya.
"So what, my game, my rules." Anya stuck her tongue out at the slayer and posed her next question before anyone else could protest. "Okay, what is the most risky place you've ever had sex… and you can't include the kitchen." She looked straight at Willow and Tara.
"Hey!" Willow pouted. "Doesn't matter. We've done it in much better places anyway." And just as she was about to spill the beans, Tara finally chimed in.
"Um… W-W-illow." She wasn't too sure she wanted the others to know such a thing.
"We don't have to answer Tara. It's okay." Willow turned to her girlfriend and held onto her hand. While they were deciding, Buffy spoke up.
"Well, Riley and I have done it in the cemetery." She offered cheerfully.
"Big deal." Anya scoffed. "Like who hasn't had sex in the cemetery?"
Buffy pouted and looked at Willow expecting her friend to chirp in with a negative. When she saw Willow shrug at her apologetically and grin, she knew right there and than that she was not going to like this game one damn bit!
"Well, what about you Anya?" She asked annoyed.
"Xander and I have had sex in his ice cream truck…"
Before she could finish Buffy interrupted, "What's so 'daring' about that?"
"Well if you'd let me finish!" Anya huffed, "As I was saying, we had sex in the ice cream truck while Xander was driving it on the freeway." She stuck her tongue out at the blonde and Buffy instantly tried to grab for it. She really did want to rip it out of the ex-demon's mouth.
"Okay, the witches turn."
"Well, we had sex at the Bronze." Willow was quite enjoying herself, especially when her two friends turned and looked at her eagerly, waiting for her to spill all the details.
"Actually, w-w-we've had sex there a couple of times." Willow beamed as Tara's voiced caressed the room with ease. She was beginning to loosen up.
"A couple of times?" Buffy asked and Willow just nodded with a silly grin on her face.
"Where else?" Anya was all intrigued now.
"Um…" Tara thought a moment, "Well," she ducked her head shyly, "we did it in Mr. Giles' bathroom once."
A shocked gasp escaped from Buffy's lips, while Anya just looked appreciatively at the shy witch.
"I've always wanted to give that room a try. How was it?"
"Surprisingly spacious." Tara continued. "And the bathtub is really quite large and roomy."
"Um, I'll have to drag Xander in there during one of your boring Scooby meetings."
"Hey!" Buffy and Willow objected at once. Willow continued. "Scooby meetings are NOT boring. You're boring."
"Oooo, I'm so hurt." Anya rolled her eyes and popped another M&M in her mouth.
Cautiously, Buffy ventured, "So where else have the two of you…" she pointed at the girl's rather than saying it.
"Well, I mean, Tara's room, of course. Our room… um, Giles… the Bronze…" Willow trailed off for a moment as she thought; "We did it in the laundry room of Stevenson once… or twice. Well, pretty much every time we do our laundry there. And well, oh," Willow bounced excitedly, "We did it in the park once, near a tree, in broad daylight." Grinning happily she continued. "And of course, the cemetery… cause everyone's done it there. Oh, the Magic Box…"
"What? When the hell did you do it at the store?" Buffy was slightly, well numb. She just listened in awe as her friend ticked off one by one all the places she had had sex with her girlfriend. Trying to think about where she had 'done it' with Riley. There was Riley's, and there was the cemetery… once, and her and Willow's dorm room… once, and than there was… well Riley's! Man, here she was completely out-sexed by an ex-demon and her shy, kinda geeky, but not so much geeky anymore, best friend.
"It was right after Mr. Giles bought it and we were all helping clean it out." Tara started saying only to be interrupted by Willow.
"Yeah, every one went out to get some food, and oh yeah, Buffy you went out on patrol with Riley, so we just… well sort of, took advantage of the aloneness."
"Very smart." Anya said rather clinically. "You should take every opportunity when it presents itself."
"Okay, next question… has anyone ever used toys?"
"What!" Buffy was SO not liking this game.
"Toys ya know dil…"
"Yeah Anya I know, I know. Please stop."
"So I guess that's a no for the slayer. Girls?"
"Um, w-w-we've talked about it, but we haven't… um," Tara shrugged her shoulders.
"We haven't seen the need." Willow smiled at her girlfriend.
"Oh well, toys could be very advantageous."
Buffy just buried her head in her hands. She didn't think she could survive the entire night of listening to Anya give Willow and Tara sex tips. Especially considering that the two wiccans seemed quite a head of the game already. Well, at least WAY ahead of her!
"Really?" Willow asked.
"Oh yes, Xander and I find them quite amusing. Just adds that extra humph to things… if you get my meaning." She winked at the two witches who both blushed.
The three of them broke down into a fit of giggles for a moment before Anya suddenly posed a question she had been dying to ask all evening. "So Tara…" the ex-demon looked poignantly at the blonde, "is Willow the first person you've ever had sex with?"
"Hey! I thought we were suppose to ask questions we could all answer." Willow jumped to Tara's defense, as the blonde looked a bit flustered by the question directed at her.
Anya just shrugged, "All right. So who was the first person everyone had sex with?" She stuck her tongue out at Willow.
Willow scowled at her, but answered, "Oz."
"Angel." Buffy said quickly. At least this question was easy.
"Well, the first time I had sex was with farmer Lisioux son." Anya shivered at the not-so-fond memory. "He owned the farm right next to my fathers. Um, Jack… Jack was his name. He slobbered all over me for about five minutes and when he was done, he wept like a baby. Ick." Anya was very… very happy that she now had Xander.
Tara finally answered, feeling comfortable now that everyone also had. "Willow." She said with a happy smile.
"So have you always liked girls Tara?" Anya said as she grabbed another handful of popcorn.
Again Willow shot the ex-demon a nasty look.
"Yes." Tara answered softly.
Before Willow could scold her again, Anya asked everyone else. "What about you two?" She pointed salty fingers towards Willow and Buffy. "Girls?"
The two friends looked at each other a moment, an awkwardness crossing between them. Willow really wasn't sure this was something she wanted to start talking about. She looked back at Anya, who kept stuffing food in her mouth, and than to Tara, who was looking at her with interest; Willow decided to just tell the truth.
Buffy looked at her strangely.
"I mean… I've always kinda ya know, " Willow squirmed slightly but calmed when she felt Tara's thumb stroking across her hand. "I've had crushes on girls, in high school, and stuff like that. But I really didn't think about it much till VampWillow." She turned to Anya, "Thank you very much!"
Anya stuck her tongue out again.
"And, I don't know, I had Oz… but sometimes…" Willow suddenly really didn't want to talk about this.
"Go on." To her surprise, it was Buffy that told her to continue.
"I guess, there was this girl last year, in my freshman English class, and I just thought how nice it would be to kiss her." Willow looked around the room eyes wide with tepid fear.
Anya had a slightly disinterested glint in her eyes. Buffy had a frown and Tara… Willow wasn't sure, but she thought Tara looked slightly upset.
"I didn't do anything… I just… just thought about it. And then I met Tara," Willow beamed at the blonde, "and then I really liked girls." She wiggled her eyebrows seductively and Tara started giggling uncontrollably.
"I kissed Faith once."
The whole room quieted all of the sudden.
"What?" Willow asked completely taken aback.
Buffy just shrugged. "It was after patrol one night and we were all, ya know, slayerish and I kissed her." Grabbing some popcorn, Buffy quickly shoveled it in her mouth.
Willow looked at her seriously. "Did you like Faith that way?"
"No. I mean, I didn't think about it at the time. I just thought the kiss was because we where all 'up' from the slayage. And than, soon after Faith went all-bad on us and turned up working for the Mayor… and I just hated her. So I never really thought about it. But after graduation, and with Faith in the coma… I think I was attracted to what she could offer me at the time. Ya know?" Buffy finally looked at Willow.
"I know." Willow replied sadly.
"Were you ever attracted to Buffy?"
"Uh?" Willow was utterly thrown by the question and turned to stare at Tara.
Tara blushed brightly and knew the question revealed some of her own jealousies and insecurities.
Willow turned to face Tara completely and took both the blonde's hands in her own. "I think maybe, at first. Because she was the only person, well besides Xander and Jessie that paid any attention to me. And she was so pretty, something I thought I'd never be." Willow reached up to lift Tara's chin when the blonde dipped her head downward. "But, no, not really. I love Buffy. She and Xander are closer to me than my own parents. They're family, like you." Willow paused just long enough to stroke Tara's cheek. "I'll love her forever, but I'm not attracted to her."
Tara's eyes brimmed with tears and Willow leaned over and kissed her delicately on the lips.
"When did you and Tara first have sex?"
"Buffy!" Willow squealed.
"Hey yea. I wanna know that too." Anya said continuing to stuff popcorn into her mouth.
"Not fair. You have to ask a question for everyone."
"So." Anya shrugged.
"You can't change the rules of the game… while we're playing." Willow was totally aghast.
"Don't care." Anya said with a huge grin on her face. "Come on… what was it like?"
"Yeah come on Wills. You're the one who wanted to be able to talk about 'stuff' with me more often. Well now's your chance." Buffy grinned wickedly at her friend.
Willow simply stared at Buffy with her mouth wide open. "B-Buffy. I can't tell you that. That's-that's like a-a-a me and Tara thing. How can you ask me that?"
Anya smirked and Buffy kept grinning at Willow, neither willing to let the redhead off the hook.
"I-I-I-I… Tara?" Willow hoped her girlfriend would step in and give her a hand. But when she turned to face the blonde, she saw that Tara had a bit of a wicked grin on her face as well. Great, Willow thought. Probably payback for the kitchen. Jeez!
"Okay Fine." Willow huffed. "The first time Tara and I had sex was right after the whole Buffy-Faith body swap thing." She crossed her arms on her chest and pouted.
"So what?" Willow was really beginning to regret her playful suggestion to Buffy earlier in the kitchen.
"Soooo how was it?" Buffy asked with wicked curiosity.
Willow simply sat in shock on the couch. Horrified that her friends would ask her such a thing. Fine, if they're gonna be like that. Willow thought with a grumble.
And before she even thought about what she was saying, Willow rambled onward. "It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Tara has the body of a Goddess. And for someone who claimed to be a virgin she had a suspiciously talented tongue and knew how to do things that I thought only porn stars knew how to do and..."
Willow cringed at the tone in Tara's voice and both Buffy and Anya shot her a 'you're in trouble now' look.
The redhead turned to her girlfriend to see that Tara was absolutely red from head to toe and was looking at her like she had two heads. Suddenly realizing what she'd just said, Willow was mortified. "Tara." Willow grabbed for the blonde's hands and giggled cautiously. "Oops." She smiled apologetically and everyone held their breath waiting to see what Tara would do next.
Tara looked at Willow with a bemused look on her face. "I have the body of a Goddess?"
Willow smiled broadly and bobbed her head up and down.
"Exactly how talented a tongue does she have?" Anya asked through a cheek full of puffy corn.
"Tara's very talented." Willow said seriously.
Something in Anya's voice made Willow turn at look at her. "Hey! No looking at my girlfriend like that." She pouted.
"What. I'm not doing anything."
"You're looking at Tara and I just don't like it."
"Well, if I'm looking at Tara than she's looking at Tara." Anya pointed to Buffy across the table from her who was just staring at Tara.
"Hey!" Willow said again with a pout. She threw a protect arm around Tara, and added a leg just for emphasis. "Mine." She said.
"Yours." Tara said softly and ran a finger slowly down Willow's cheek.
"Wow." Buffy said finally coming out of her stupor-induced stare-fest.
"Okay, game over. Time for bed." Willow said as she jumped up from the couch and grabbed Tara's hand pulling the other girl along after her. "Night." Was all she said as she led Tara towards the stairs.
"Um, goodnight." Tara barely managed to get out before Willow dragged her up to the second floor.
"So you think…"
"Oh, I so think."
Buffy turned to the ex-demon who had a grin on her face.
"Ya know it's not fair. I mean, I think we should be able to watch."
"What? We get all turned on by their little show in the kitchen earlier, than sit here for like the last hour listening to their sex-capes, and we know damn well they're going up their to have sex… I just think we deserve to see. Ya know?" Anya looked at the slayer hopefully.
Buffy had to admit, watching Tara and Willow earlier and listening to them talk about everything they've done together… well she couldn't help looking up towards the top of the steps. "I wonder who's room they're in?" Did she say that out loud?
"Why? Is there some way we could watch if they're in a certain room?"
Anya seemed way too eager, and Buffy had to admit she was a bit too eager herself. "Wwweeelll…"
The next thing she knew Anya had grabbed her hand and was forcing her up the stairs, "Come on. Lets go see which room they're in."
And surprisingly, Buffy followed.
~ The End ~