OK, before I launch into my subtext-y review of episode four I want to take you
back to episode one first. For, you see, on rewatching the ep I spotted a scene
that was so completely OBVIOUS that I am very much ashamed that I missed it the
first time round. It also very clearly states the ultimate intentions of the
writers concerning the Sam/Brooke relationship. So I’d like to take this moment
to correct this outrageous oversight.
Now then, in episode 1 Josh had to do a try-out for the musical, as you may remember. For this try-out he had to sign a song. He had chosen a love song with these lyrics:
<<Some enchanted evening
You may see a stranger
Across a crowded room
And somehow you’ll know
You’ll know even then
That somehow you’ll see her
Now then, earlier in episode 1, Brooke was sitting in the lunchroom. A rather
crowded lunchroom at that. And who does she see across this crowded lunchroom?
Who, as it turns out, is a complete stranger to Brooke since she doesn’t know her name yet. And we all KNOW that these two girls are going to see a lot of each other in the not so distant future.
I thought not.
So, now that I’ve made up for my almost inexcusable blindness, let’s move on to
episode four. The title of the episode pertains to certain strange
meteorological phenomena that will cause, amongst other things, “Unexpected
“Yes!!!” I can hear you thinking. “A perfect excuse for the writers to play around with homosexual relationships!”
This show is all ABOUT homosexual relationships so only HETEROSEXUAL relationships would be deemed out of the ordinary.
And, sadly, this episode deals with heterosexuality. I suppose you’ll just have to bite through the sour apple, as we say over here in the Netherlands (only in Dutch, not in English).
So, here goes…
The episode starts with a scene of Sam trying to lure an interview out of the new Drama teacher, Miss Ross. Miss Drama teacher, however, refuses so Sam is about to leave empty-handed when Josh comes into the room. They have to practise for the musical, but (conveniently enough for the plot) only Josh is present so Sam has to act as a stand-in. Anyway, it is required for the scene for Sam to sit on Josh’ lap. Now then, as we all know, for Sam to be physically attracted to another person that other person would need two things that Josh doesn’t have and lack one thing that Josh does have. And it’s this one thing that’s giving trouble. Sam, utterly disgusted, jumps from Josh’ lap and flees the scene.
Sam flees towards the Novak, where Carmen is. Sam, still totally grossed out, tells Carmen what happened. Carmen seems pretty excited by the news for some reason. Also of all the people that shouldn’t receive this information Sam thinks that Brooke is number 1. After all, if Brooke would suddenly think Sam’s straight (let’s all take a moment to shudder at the thought) then Sam’s chances would be blown.
Brooke and Nicole walk through the hallways of Kennedy. For some reason that
completely eludes me the two of them talk about Josh. I wonder why. Oh, yeah,
right, Brooke and Josh are a couple. Sorry, I completely forgot. It’s hard to
remember things that don’t exist.
ANYWAY, Nicole believes that in order for Brooke to breathe some life back into the relationship Brooke would have to stop wearing a bra. Sorry Nic, only [insert deity of your choice here] would be able to revive THAT (and I use the term loosely) “relationship”.
Back in the Novak, Sam is still being grossed out, saying that Josh is a
“walking steroid” who she “wouldn’t touch with a toilet brush”. Nicole and
Brooke enter the Novak and the first thing that Carmen and Sam get to hear is
Nicole offering to carry around Brooke’s underwear in her purse.
Let’s not think about this for TOO long.
So, Brooke takes off her bra in one of the stalls and emerges once again. I see no noticeable difference, but Nicole heaps praise onto Brooke and considers it a vast improvement. Brooke walks up next to Nicole and, barely visible but still visible, hands Nicole her bra. Which Nicole, true to her word, stuffs into her purse. Anyway, Nicole’s praise doesn’t mean a lot to Brooke so Brooke also asks for Sam’s opinion about her new bra-less look. Before Sam gets to respond, however, Nicole butts in making the (very accurate) statement that Sam has absolutely no idea what it takes to please to a guy.
Sam and Carmen exchange knowing looks, saying without words: “Well duh, of course we don’t.”
Back in one of the corridors Lily is looking through her locker for something
that Harrison could wear on his head. Why Harrison thinks that Lily has headgear
in her locker is beyond me and it is therefore no surprise that Lily doesn’t
have anything for Harrison to wear on his head. So Harrison will just have to
settle for the stupid bonnet he’s wearing now. As it turns out, Harrison has had
a haircut that went horribly wrong. I’d say this is karma getting back at
Harrison for being so mean to Sam. Speaking of karma, Lily now also has to pay
for being mean to Sam by working at Mr Cluck’s, a kind of Kentucky Fried
Glass walks by, having about the same haircut as Harrison. While this haircut has accomplished the impossible by making Harrison look even dorkier than usual, it actually looks fairly good on Glass.
Now follows a scene that is very symbolic for the rest of the episode. It’s Josh
dragging Sam into the closet.
Inside this closet Josh and Sam agree that that thing that happened during Drama class is going to be their little secret.
Now we have Greek class. For some reason this class is taught by Miss Ross who
teaches Drama. It’s about Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, protector of pregnant
women and probably the first Goddess ever to be a lesbian. Well actually, it’s
not about her, but it would be very nice if it was.
The lesson is, instead about ‘hubris’ which is Greek meaning something like ‘arrogance’. It’s about how mortals sometimes challenge the Gods but have to pay the price for it. Names like Icarus, Tantalos and that guy that cut up his own son and served up his pieces at a dinner where he had invited the Gods to try and trick them are what this class is about. During the class Nicole playfully insults Carmen, then quickly apologises with a heartfelt:
“Just kidding Carm. You know you rock my world.”
It would be more fitting, however, if this Greek class was, in fact, an English
class. This rant has little to do with the actual episode so you can skip this
if you want.
If the class had been English, they could’ve been talking about Hamlet and the infamous line “To thine own self be true.” There are two ways to interpret this line. The popular way and the correct way. Both ways, however, are fairly accurate for this ep. The popular interpretation is: “Be who you are and don’t care about the rest”. This would have to deal with Sam’s sexuality. She’s gay so she shouldn’t try or even pretend to be straight. However, Polonius (the guy who spoke the line) was a little man in the psychological sense of the word. What he meant by it was “Whatever you do, don’t marry above or below your own class in society”, which is about the same as the lesson on hubris.
So now, with just one single line, you have two meanings that would both be relevant to this episode.
Back to the episode. We are now in French class. The teacher complains that her
students are all “butchering” the language. And who can blame them? Teacher lady
is wielding the butcher’s knife just as fanatically as her students. Anyway, Sam
and Josh now have to practice a small conversation in French. Sam’s French is
pretty good, but Josh’ French is just… well… it’s saying French words in
And then the freak wind rises.
Cue corny Sam/Josh French dancing dream scene. It literally oozes sexual tension. NOT. Now, you know at the beginning of the credits how Sam and Brooke are sort of cheek-against-cheek and then proceed to gaze into each other’s eyes? Well, in this scene Josh and Sam are also cheek-against-cheek a few times. But here Sam looks away with a very definite “God, aren’t we done yet? I want to get out of here!”-attitude. And then Brooke shows up, holding Sam in her arms, saying:
“In your dreams, Sammy. You’re mine.”
Well, actually she just says “In your dreams” but the only reason why Brooke didn’t add that last part is because Sam was woken by the telephone (she’s suddenly at home and in bed). She seems a little dizzy and disoriented, because it’s not good for your health to be woken up in the middle of your REM sleep. And it’s especially not healthy if the dream finally arrives at the interesting part.
So, Sam picks up the phone and what she hears is some guy talking about breasts.
Sam, having absolutely no clue about the way boys behave, believes that is the
standard way for boys to greet other people. She therefore immediately assumes
that it’s Josh doing the calling.
It is, of course, not Josh. It’s Lily’s new boss at Mr Cluck’s and, while Lily was trying to make a phone call, he was talking about chicken breasts. And about soft, fluffy buns.
Carmen e-mails Lily about the “one-thing-too-many”-incident during Drama class. Adhering to narrative powers that Carmen has no control over, she accidentally sends the mail to everybody in the entire school.
We cut to Mary Cherry, cell-phoning to someone about Josh. She says:
“Obviously his compass points in other directions, but Sam McPherson isn’t even on the map.”
This is true. Sam is on the same map Brooke is. And we all know that Josh certainly isn’t interested in THAT map and, of course, the map lying next to it marked ‘straight girls’.
Brooke enters the Novak, heavily upset. She’s upset because now the guy who she was with but really didn’t want to be with is now with the girl who she desperately wants to be with. Nicole tries to comfort her, but to no avail.
Adhering to the narrative powers I have mentioned a few scenes earlier, the only people who have not received Carmen’s e-mail are Lily and Sam. This allows them to casually walk through the corridors of Kennedy High and not understanding why everybody is staring at Sam. Realisation dawns on Sam, however, when she arrives at her locker on which there is scrawled “Be My Lap Dog.” If this wasn’t obvious enough already Emory Dick shows up, asking Sam if she’d like to inspect his lap. Sam flees the scene. Harrison shows up and fills Lily in on what’s going on.
Sam goes to the Novak, looking for Carmen. Only Brooke is there, however,
touching up her make-up because the excessive crying has ruined. Brooke says
that she and Sam need to have a “serious conversation” and that Sam “can’t keep
avoiding her forever”. Unfortunately Brooke now thinks Sam’s straight so she
tries to break her and Josh up. In that case, if Sam is single once again,
maybe, just maybe, she’ll notice her true love has been staring her in the face
all this time. (For those of who you haven’t been paying attention, Sam’s true
love would be Brooke.)
In short, they end up fighting. And Brooke once again looks guilty when the fight is over.
Biology class. Brooke can’t face having to sit next to Sam in the ‘knowledge’
that Sam likes boys. So she swaps with Nicole and ends up sitting next to
Harrison. The winds start blowing again, trying to cause a Brooke/Harrison
moment but against this impossibility even the winds are powerless. Harrison
looks adoringly at Brooke, while Brooke ignores him and looks longingly at Sam.
Mary Cherry is evidently on the same map Sam is because she has difficulty understanding why a boy would react to a girl in a certain way. So she asks Miss Glass about it. After Glass’ explanation, Sam once again flees the scene.
Brooke watches her go, longing still evident on her face.
Brooke and Josh have a fight. Josh says that Sam’s lying about the whole thing. Brooke doesn’t believe him, of course. In her mind Sam is perfect and perfect people do not lie. Therefore, Josh must be lying. The fact that Josh really is lying is of secondary importance here. In order to prove to Brooke that he only has eyes for her, Josh wants to have sex with Brooke after school. Brooke doesn’t really say ‘no’. Brooke and Josh kiss. Sort of. Their lips connect, certainly. But the jury is very hesitant to count this as a kiss. Especially the fact that Brooke tried to duck out of this attempt at kissing weighs heavily in favour of the prosecution (meaning: me).
In the Novak, Nicole and Brooke are interrogating Mary Cherry. They are trying
to get it into the Texan’s head that there shall be no further talk about boys
and the way they function. Mary Cherry leaves.
Brooke then tells Nicole that she and Josh never really had sex. For some reason, being a virgin is a bad thing. Nicole offers to give Brooke some advice on sex. Brooke declines, saying that she’d much rather have advice from Sam.
Mary Cherry, meanwhile, has sneaked back into the Novak and has overheard the conversation.
Mary Cherry spreads the shocking news of Brooke’s virgin status. When the news
reaches Sam’s ears she brightens up considerably. This would mean that all she
has to do is play her cards right to be the very first to get intimate with
Carmen shows up and the bad karma that she has earned in the previous episodes now catches up with her as well and she’s not allowed to sit with Sam and the rest of the gang.
In the boys locker room, Josh brags about how he and Brooke are about to get intimate once again. Nobody believes him. Even Sugar Daddy is annoyed with him. It’s probably because they think Josh’ compass is pointing towards the map marked ‘straight girls’ and towards the map lying next to it inhabited by Brooke.
So the hot, steamy sex arrives. But, since this is Popular after all, there is no sex. Josh is lying on top of Brooke trying to kiss her, but Brooke does her very best to avoid his mouth. Josh lets it slip that everybody still knows about their virginity. Brooke, who also seems believe that you have to have sex in order to be popular, does the only logical thing and calls Nicole after she kicks Josh out of the house.
Josh goes back to school and to the editorial’s office where Sam is. Josh tells
Sam about the “huge fight” he and Brooke just had. Sam is obviously delighted to
hear this news. Josh and Brooke are over. Brooke is once again single. The hunt
is on, so to speak.
But, because those stupid winds are still blowing, Sam tries not to hurt Josh’ feelings too much by immediately running after Brooke. Instead the two of them sit down opposite of each other and bond over Elementary School.
Back at Palace, Nicole has shown up. The two of them talk. About Sam. Well, of
course about Sam. What else there to talk about if you’re Brooke?
So, with the aid of several bottles of tequila, Nicole tries to help Brooke heal.
Looking at the short notes I’ve made watching this ep, I see that for this scene
I’ve written down “More S/B poem”. It seems that my subconscious is playing
tricks on me, since it should have said “More S/J poem”.
So, yeah, we return to Josh and Sam who are still bonding over Elementary School. Sam tells Josh about this poem she’s written down in one of her notebooks once. She says that it was for this one special person and no-one else was allowed to read it. The look on Sam’s face makes it painfully clear that this person so isn’t Josh. Unfortunately for Elementary-School-Sam, one of the teachers found it and hung it up for the whole school to see. Instead of recognising the embarrassment every Elementary-School-going human being must feel when the whole school is allowed to read her lesbian love poem, Josh actually thinks that it has been a very positive experience. He even goes so far as to say that if it hadn’t been for that teacher Sam never would’ve become a reporter.
I have to hand Josh one thing, though. He says something along the lines of “What’s the point of filling up all those notebooks if nobody’s ever going to see it?”
I would like to ask all lurking writers to think about this for a moment.
Back to the Palace, Nicole and Brooke are now obviously drunk. Harrison sees
this. This is odd, Mike is a businessman and Harrison’s mother works in a
convenience store. How did Robin manage to pay for a house next to the Palace.
And, more importantly, how long are they going to be living there? Or are they
going to move as soon as the writers have no more need for this location?
Real estate issues aside, Harrison is peeking at Nicole and Brooke from his bedroom window. Brooke notices him first. Nicole insults him, then goes into the house because the plot requires it. Brooke, being a great deal more drunk than Nicole, invites Harrison to come over.
Sam storms into Carmen’s room. After being alone with a guy for more than five minutes she REALLY needs to see a friendly face. Carmen tries to apologise, but Sam forgives her before she can finish. Then she talks about how she and Josh bonded. Sam is very, very happy about this because this means Josh won’t be mad at her if Sam goes after his ex-girlfriend.
We’re at the Palace. Instead of talking about Elementary School, Brooke talks
about what’s important. Sam. She wants to know is she’s the only one who finds
Sam so attractive. Harrison, whose compass is secretly pointing in the same way
as Josh’ compass, doesn’t manage to come up with an answer to Brooke’s question
about Sam’s attractiveness. When Brooke asks if Harrison finds her attractive,
Harrison once again fails to come up with a reply. Then, in a moment of drunken
admission, Brooke says:
“Everybody loves Sam.”
Brooke evidently believes that she has a lot of competition when it comes to winning Sam’s heart. Unfortunately, while Brooke admits that she loves Sam she has also come too close to Harrison. She reacts the same way everybody reacts when they get too close too Harrison. She runs off to vomit.
We move to Brooke’s room. Brooke is still sick because Harrison is supporting her. After insulting Harrison a few times more Nicole leaves. Brooke, still drunk, panics. Her if-they-really-had-been-dating-it-would-have-been-her-ex-boyfriend is gone and he is now with the girl she loves. Brooke’s afraid of being totally alone and, controlled by irrational fear, asks Harrison to stay. Fortunately, Brooke’s body is currently a lot smarter than Brooke’s brain so, in order to forget that Harrison is around, the blonde passes out.
We are in a car somewhere. Lily and Lily’s mom are inside. Lily’s mom wants to know if Lily was fired at Mr Cluck’s. Lily says that she quit because of the way they treat her and the chickens. Unfortunately, the Esposito family is broke and Lily has to work to make ends meat. Long story short, Lily goes back to working at Mr Cluck’s.
Back at wherever it is Sam lives, the brunette is leafing through an old year-book. She stares at Josh’ picture with a hint of triumph. “It won’t be long before your ex-girlfriend is mine” her eyes seem to be saying. She also thinks back to the French-dance-dream-sequence. To the point, in fact, just before Brooke shows up.
Back at the Palace Brooke is still passed out because Harrison is still close-by. Harrison then proceeds to do something which could fall in the ‘desperate-stalker’ category so let’s not talk about that now.
It’s the school library. Josh calls over Sam because he needs help with
translating a poem into French. Because the entire ep has tried to make us
believe that there’s something going on between Sam and Josh I suppose you could
expect that Sam thinks the poem might be for her. And when I say ‘poem’, I mean
the lyrics of some love-song that Josh has heard on one of his brother’s old
Also in the library are Harrison and Brooke. Harrison, being completely blind to all the facts dished out during the entire episode, thinks that he has a shot with Brooke. Brooke’s carefully phrased and awkward answers indicate that this just isn’t going to happen.
The poem turns out to be not for Sam, but for Brooke. Brooke reads the poem and, thinking that she doesn’t stand a chance with Sam, decided to get back with Josh.
Sam is disappointed.
The voice-over about the Greek lesson at the beginning of the episode tells us that the lesson about arrogance is now well and truly learned.
Sam and Harrison are at Mr Cluck’s where Lily is currently on duty. They both
feel miserable because they’re not with Brooke.
The winds die down.
In hindsight I must say that their effects weren’t as great as I originally thought.
Tune back next week for more info about the continuous saga about Sam, Brooke and their inability to notice that they both have the hots for each other…
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