Title: Lost Time
Author: A.M. Glass
Copyright: February 27th March 1st, 2005
Disclaimer: The characters from All My Children, belong respectively to Agnes Nixon, A.B.C. and the Disney Co. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.
Notes: This is the sixth story in the series that started with Dear Miranda. You'll need to have read Kiddo prior to this as it picks up afterwards. This story is different in its tone from the others.
Thanks: Once again to all of you who've either left comments on the board or have written me privately. Thank you very much.
It looks like mom won’t be the only one in the family sporting a shiner. Grandma and Aunt Kendall are making a fuss. Grandma’s saying that one of Enchantments products could cover it without a problem. Aunt Kendall saying Fusion has a better product.
They’re going back and forth, so I thought this was the best time to write, while they figure out what product to use.
Of all the days for hell to brake loose, it has to be when Mom finally wakes up.
It all started after Mama left to get me something to eat in the cafeteria. She’d asked if I was hungry – I told her kinda and she said she’d be right back.
Grandma and Aunt Kendall weren’t here at the time they arrived about twenty minutes ago. They told me not to worry Grandpa was waiting for Mama at the police station. Everything would be just fine and Uncle Reggie would take care of things.
If it weren’t for the ice pack I’m holding on my eye, I’d swear I’m having the oddest dream.
I’m not sure who’s more surprised, Mama or I.
Would anyone blame me?
I mean, never in a million years would I have thought I’d ever see Fish Face again – and as this is my journal I can write whatever I want to in it. So, Aunt Kendall, now that you know what I didn’t write down earlier, will you close the book now?
I’m going to hope that she did.
Getting back to Fish Face – she showed looking for Mom.
At first I didn’t recognize her – oof. The years haven’t been good to her. God, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that shade of blonde? before.
And those what – twenty- thirty pounds haven’t helped either. I guess after eating all those Nachos from BJ’s finally caught up to her.
Mom on the other hand has gained probably fifteen pounds – but it looks good on her and Grandma’s told me she thinks Mom looks wonderful. Which confuses me considering Grandma still looks like she did when she was younger – I would have thought that she would have said something about it – hmm.
Anyway, I didn’t know who she was until she said, “Hiya Squirt.”
As soon as I heard those words, I was transported back to a time when I was too young to stand up for myself.
Back when Fishy would whisper in my ear when Mom wasn’t looking: “You’re nothing but a squirt – that’s all it took to make you – Squirt.”
I didn’t understand what she was telling me back then...
I think I’m gonna throw up...
I had to step out of the room for a minute I needed air.
After the bitch said that, I turned towards her and said, “Aunt Maggie?” It slipped out before I had a chance to stop myself and I cringed as soon as I said it.
“Where’s your Mom?”
I told her Mom was in her room resting and stupidly I pointed down the hall.
She stepped away from the nurse’s station and towards Mom’s room when I reached out: “You can’t see her.”
“Watch me squirt.”
I ran past her and stood in the doorway, my arms folded across my chest. She told me to move out of the way.
That’s when she grabbed my arms and seeing the bruises that have started forming, I’m guessing it’ll be long sleeves for a while.
She said, “Listen up runt.”
Which makes me laugh as I’m about five inches taller than her now – I didn’t laugh when she said it though.
She made me feel like a kid again.
“I’ll see your Mom whenever I want.”
She pulled me away from the door – I wasn’t expecting her to and I’m embarrassed to say I stumbled over my own feet and fell – hitting the side of the chair Mama had brought to sit on when she thought I wanted or needed privacy with Mom.
I’m pretty sure I said “Shit!” – after crying out something wholly original like “Ouch!!!”
I heard a crash down the hall and I turned my head and looked.
“Still as clumsy as ever huh? What are you smiling at?” she asked me.
I heard her say one word: “Lena?”
As Mama was down the hall I couldn’t make out what she was telling the nurses except she yelled “NOW!!” and the charge nurse picked up the phone and started dialing.
The next thing I know, Maggie’s pressed up against the wall, her arm pinned behind her back and Mama’s saying: “Don’t you ever touch my daughter again!!”
Talk about your Lifetime movie moments.
Maggie was struggling to get out of Mama’s hold, telling her to “Let go of me.”
“If you ever touch my daughter again, I’ll kill you.”
There was no doubt in my mind that Mama meant every word she said.
That’s when Maggie said, “She isn’t your daughter – so fuck you!”
Mama made me laugh when she told her, “Not for all the money in the world.”
Security arrived and pulled Mama off of Maggie. Maggie was saying she was going to press charges.
One of the guards asked if I was all right, I told him I was and to contact Grandpa Jack and Uncle Reggie.
They took them away, I admit I tried to keep them from taking Mama from me, she told me she was fine – to go to Mom – that she’d be right back.
“Don’t cry little one, go on, go to your Mother – do as I say.”
I nodded, wiping the tears I hadn’t realized I’d cried. I wanted to make Mama proud. So, I watched long enough to see her smiling at me before the elevator door closed.
I went into Mom’s room and sat down. I took her hand in mine, like Mama does whenever she sits with her, and I kissed the back of it, just like Mama.
Before I knew it, I was crying like a baby.
I cried for Mom – I wanted her to wake up – I needed her more than ever.
I cried for Mama – I didn’t want to lose her again – I didn’t want to let her go ever.
And I cried for myself. For all the lost time – the memories – the love I was denied by not having Mama in my life like I should have.
That’s when Mom called out my name.
I glanced up and she was looking down and I didn’t stop myself, I threw myself into her arms and held on.
She wanted me to tell her what was wrong, why was I crying – that I was scaring her. I said I’d explain later that I just needed her to hold me and she did until she fell asleep.
I’m not scared this time – I know Mom’s going to be okay. She’s just resting.
This time is different – this time Mama’s not going to leave – not if I can help it.
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