TITLE: The Sobule Download

SERIES: None

AUTHOR/FB etc: Snarlsnout@yahoo.com

DATE: Dec 04

PAIRING/RATING: Sam/Nic PG-13

DISCLAIMER: Ryan Murphy et al & Touchstone own all.

SUMMARY: First contact established w/ alien life-form.

A/N: Those who know me, know Spam & Umad are my OTP. I've included some favorite, relevant Dawn "All the Way" dialog but I will try to keep this strictly Popular UC.

So, for knuffels--

Sam and George were playing some serious tonsil-hockey in the hallway as the final bell rang for Chem class. Sam reluctantly pulled back enough to notice Carm & Lily mocking her over George's shoulder with love-struck puppy eyes and exaggerated kissy-face gestures. She smirked; they giggled and proceeded into the classroom. Nicole barreled past, slamming into George and domino-effecting Sam back into the lockers. The brunette exchanged a final peck as George was swept up in the crowd of jocks and cheerleaders on their way to meet w/ VP Krupps. He was trying to drum up enthusiasm for tonight's big game which could be measured in terms of Alumni contributions.

Unbeknownst to the few students stranded in Chem lab that were not affiliated w/ Kennedy High's all encompassing sports regime, Bobbi Glass was also attending the meeting. She'd heard vague rumblings of Hellacious Acres' return--why else would her pictures be back up in the Novak? And after all she'd been thru the first time...

Emory, April, Freddie Gong and Harrison became immediately involved in a multi-generational Star Trek exchange that only a nerd to the nth degree could follow. Ousted Glamazon Nicole sat alone and outnumbered buffing her nails. Carmen and Lily continued to torment giddy, bubbly McPherson about her previous PDA...

"George and Sam-my sitting in a tree--" was Carmen's mature contribution. A little jealous, but mostly just happy for the moody journalist.

"Soooo? Sam--" Lily razzed, "--beguiling the beast with your feminine wiles? He is ~totally~ under your spell!"

"Puh-leeze!" Nic scoffed. "Killdozer"ing her way into the convo had the immediate, desired effect: wiping those smug satisfied looks of their "Wanna-be" faces. "The words "Spam" and "sexual prowess" are as mutually exclusive as "fashion" and "all-you-can-eat buffet"..." And off the confused, shocked expressions, "McFearsome here could lilt a satyr's libido--" Finally, in words they might comprehend--"Spam can't kiss for squat."

"W-w-w-wh-wh-wh--?" Sam articulated.

"Mmm-hmm. Boys talk Brownhilda." Nic calmly conveyed. "About how far they get; the journey itself...It's a well-known fact you have some ~major~ roadblocks, but close sources reveal that anyone has yet to even blaze a trail..." Nic sighed at the brunette's collective cluelessness..."In short, I submit that not only has Spam never gotten to first base, she can't even find the playing field--and please don't get me started on her uniform."

" I-I-I kiss all the time." Sam pleaded defensively, "Not that I'm a kiss slut. Just, you know, with, with the lips and, and the pressing together and stuff? Big expert here."

"Well, I say put your mouth where your mouth is" Nic tweaked the challenge, "Prove it!"

"H-h-how am I sup-p-posed to d-do that?" Sam cringed.

Nic winked a perfectly masscarred eye, smiled a million mega-watt glossy, gleaming grin, and spritzed her tongue with a small canister of breath-spray.

"I-I-I-I-I---" the brunette babbled incoherently as Nic leaned in, making pouty/kissy gestures and watching her prey thru fluttering, almost-closed eye-lids.

Jaws hitting the floor were the only sounds now present in the classroom as the entire student body looked on horrified. Sam felt the stares; she imagined their mockery at her lack of her own convictions/courage. She pictured them all chalking up another win in the Satan column. Not this time Sam swore--This time I'm calling your bluff! Class opinion be damned!

Sam drew a deep breath, then clutching the blonde roughly by the shoulders, leaned in and planted a rough, hard kiss. Grinding their mouths together, teeth gnashing, noses colliding. Pulling off w/ a loud, wet *smack* she awaited Nicole's devasted apology...

"Rank amatuer." Nic declared, mopping Sammy-saliva from her cheeks and chin, "No panache, no style, no passion."

The outside world faded away for her as Sam focused solely on making this bitch eat her words. She wrapped her fingers around the blonde's neck, caressing her cheeks roughly with her thumbs. Staring directly into the blue abyss of Nicole's eyes, she jerked the ex-cheerleader's head sideways and went in again. This time alarmingly tender. Licking the blonde's lips, tugging at the bottom lip with lightly gnashing teeth. She resumed the lip-lock and slowly parted Nic's full, moist lips and probed for tongue with the tip of her own. Finding it immediately (as if it could/would hide) they danced delicately until Sam withdrew. She finished with a few "Ooo" mouth motions that she'd obviously observed from her goldfish "Pulitzer" and finally pulled back trailing the obligatory "Cruel Intentions" drool string to a new record.

Nicole kept her eyes closed momentarily as she drastically scrambled to gather her wits. That was frickin' HOT. Her eyelids fluttering open a mere second before Sam's. The brunette's pupils all but eclipsing her golden-brown irises. Sam gasped. As plain as day. Both girl's stubbornly regaining their composure.

"Hmmm, " Nic critiqued. "A marked improvement; I'd say your well on your way to 7th grade slumber party status..."

Sam again taking the gauntlet. She turns Nicole's chair to face her, straddles the blonde's legs until she's sitting in her lap, draws the shorter girl closer with an arm around her back. The other hand massaging the back of Nicole's neck, working it's way up until it can grasp a handful of short, spiked hair and finally yanks her head back roughly. Matching Nicole's fiery stare, Sam finally closes her eyes as she leans in for "the kill".

Engulfing the blonde's bee-sting lips, Sam momentarily reprises her goldfish imitation. Then dragging her tongue thru the lightly trembling lips she parts them enough to nip at the tight corner of Nic's mouth. She nuzzles closer panting short, hot breaths into the blonde's ear thru flaring nostrils. Then back to work, slowly parting first lips, then teeth with her talented tongue; again meeting it's counterpart in electrifying union. They wrestled, massaged and danced, all the while hidden from the world by moist, meshing mouths.

The two minute warning bell reluctantly returning them to reality; Sam breaks the seal, pulls back offering 2, then 3, light parting pecks, a final lick of Nicole's full enticing lips and then staring directly/defiantly into Satan's eyes, Sam closes with a light wet, smooch to the tip of Nicole's nose. Neither girl breaks eye-contact as Sam reaches clumsily behind her to regain her own chair. Still oblivious to the mesmerized audience, Nic acquiesces, with the crowd as witness--

"O-OK. My bad, Sam." She humbly defers, "You have amazing potential, and an astute natural talent..."

"Ha!" Sam throws both fists into the air triumphantly as the bell rings and the dumbfounded crowd slowly meander back out into the real world...

Nicole finds Brooke several hours later--"So, what did I miss in History?" the tall blonde queried, "How was Chem lab?"

"Boring; the usual" Nic allowed, "fortunately I found a way to amuse myself for an hour or so..."

Brooke found it best to let comments like this slide...

Sam rode the wave of giddy, exuberant triumph the entire afternoon, none of her friends able to come to terms with the atrocity they'd witnessed, let alone confronting Sam about it. The euphoria only ending as the brunette shut her bedroom door, dropped her books, shed a few unnecessary clothes, and caught a fleeting glimpse of herself as she past in front of her mirror. Double-taking the puffy lips, the rosy flushed cheeks, the smeared lip-gloss from earlobe to chin--

"Holy Crap! I just made out w/ Nicole Julian!"

~End

A/N: Title of course, homage to Jill Sobule's "I Kissed a Girl" and does one of the fade-away lines indicate what thoughts are going thru Our Sweet Sammy's head about now?-- "...and I may do it again..."