Closer to Fine

By Ry_Rain

Fandom: Birds of Prey

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.  The song is “Closer to Fine” by the Indigo Girls

Feedback: Please, Ry_Rain@hotmail.com

A/N: Okay, this is my answer to cremequeenie’s challenge.  Enjoy!

Barbara watched the computer as she felt Helena walk up behind her.  It had always been like that.  She never heard Helena but she could always feel her, even when she was asleep.  She knew Helena watched from her bedroom door while she slept, wanting to protect her.  “You were quiet on your way back.  Something wrong?”  Barbara turned around just in time to see Helena shrug, her face not showing any surprise that Barbara knew she had been behind her.

“I’m just tired I guess.”

“Helena,” Barbara said, trying to get her to open up.  She tried to show Helena all the love and compassion she had for her in her eyes, but Helena wasn’t looking her in the eyes.  Something was wrong.  Barbara watched as Helena paced around the Clocktower fro several minutes before she hopped on top of the desk, her face a mixture of emotions, tears forming in her eyes.

“That little girl was scared of me.”  Barbara nodded, finally understanding what was getting under Helena’s skin.  Helena had been looking for a kidnapped little girl and when she found her, the girl was unconscious, possibly dead.  Helena got pissed and started beating the kidnappers within an inch of their lives, and then the girl woke up.

“Helena, *well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable*.  But you don’t let that darkness control you.”  Helena shook her head.  Barbara sighed and forced Helena to look at her.  “Helena, you may like to think that you’re some badass and that everyone thinks that, I did to, but when I first met Bruce, and begged him to train me, you want to know what he said?  *He said he could see right through me.*”

“Barbara, but you, you could never be evil.”

“Helena, that only because I have you hear to stop me.  I’m always scared that something will happen to you and *I wrap my fear around me like a blanket.*  I let it fester and I’m afraid that will be my end someday.  Without you, I don’t know what I’d do.  You think you’re bad?  Please.  *Lightness has a call that’s hard to hear*, but that’s why you have heightened senses, so you can hear its call.”

Tears were forming in Helena’s eyes.  Barbara could tell she was getting somewhere.  What she was saying was affecting Helena, and hopefully in a good way.  “Barbara, I don’t know what to say.  I have all these questions about myself and *there’s more than one answer to these questions*.  I’m following my heart but I think its *pointing me in a crooked line.*”

Barbara’s heart broke at what Helena had said.  She was questioning herself and questioning the partnership they had worked so hard get right.  “Helena, what did you do before you came here?  You were gone longer than it should have taken to get here.”

“*I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.*.  I drank at lot but it didn’t help so I stopped.”

Barbara shook her head.  She looked up at Helena.  She had never seen her like this before, sure she’s been broody a lot but never … contemplative.  “Helena, this isn’t just about that little girl tonight is it.”  Helena shook her head.  “Then what is it all about?”

“I’m in love.”  Barbara was taken aback by this sudden, uncharacteristic confession from Helena.  “And, I’m not sure if I should tell the person or not.”  Barbara nodded as she tried to think of whom Helena was talking about.  “Don’t try to analyze it Barbara, *I’m trying to tell you something about my life, maybe give me insight between black and white*.”

Barbara nodded.  “Well, what is it that you want to say?”

“Barbara, I love you.”  Barbara sat back in her wheelchair, her eyes wide with shock and something else.  They both sat there in silence for several minutes, Helena staring at Barbara and Barbara looking at everything but Helena.  “Barbara, please, say something.”

“When did you realize you were in love with … me?”

“When you stopped me from killing Clayface.”  Barbara looked up.  “No one else could have stopped me Barbara.”

“I know.  There’s not another soul who could have stopped me from killing Harley.”  Helena looked at Barbara.  “I was never in love with Wade, I was just in love with the idea of being in love.  I mean, he wanted to take care of me.”  Helena chuckled at Barbara’s obvious attempt to release some of the tension in the room.  “I’m in love as well.”  Helena looked up, hope in her eyes.  “I’m in love with you.”

The End