I'd Give Anything

Title: I'd Give Anything

By: Nif

Disclaimer: This is a fictional story made up by moi. All characters belong to me.

Warnings: Some inappropriate language and f/f slash.

Author's Note: I'd appreciate any feedback. Criticism, flames, reviews, comments, anything. Just gimme a shout kay?

' Insert text ' = Thoughts (unspoken musings)

My name is Rachael Smith. I'm 5'8. I have long blond hair. I'm 16 and I attend a high school called Golden Hills Secondary. I pull off shitty marks, I talk on the phone to all hours end, and I think music is God's gift to humans. Yep, you'd think I'm your average female teenager right? Wrong. You see I'm gay. I'm a lesbian. I drive on the other side of the road. I'm interested in girls. How long have I known? Probably around since I was about 13, the age where girls start getting into guys and dating. Yeah, those damn hormones.

I'm totally fine with being gay. Well almost. As always, of course there's downfalls. The lack of options for one. There's not that many girls who dance the same way. The closed-minded jackass homophobes. Not everyone is, but there still are some pricks you just can't kill. Dogmatic religious people who think I'm 'sick'. But the number one thing, the only thing that really gets to me, is falling for someone straight. Someone who can't return your feelings even if they wanted to.

I'm in love with one of my best friends. How can I not be in love with her? There's a reason Lisa's one of my best friends. She's kind. Not overly kind. She's just kind. She's witty. She can make me laugh even during my darkest hours. She's intelligent. She has these amazing ideas that I know would change the world. I know she'd be able to make president if she wanted to. She's understanding. If you have a problem, she'll listen. She'll listen 'till you're blue in the face and then she'll comfort you. And then if she can she'll give you advice. When Lisa gives you advice, you take it. There is no if's, and's, or but's. You just do it. And lastly, Lisa is beautiful. She's not vainly gorgeous. She's not pretty. She's heart warmingly beautiful. Now I'm not shallow, I'd love her all the same if she weighed 900 pounds, but that just puts the icing on the cake.

I know I'm only 16 and I'm just a 'stupid, naive teenager', but I truly care about her. Deeply. Maybe it's not true love that'll last for eternity but it's still love and given the chance, I think it could be golden. A gold that could stay gold. I'll never get the chance though. The chance to love her and be loved in return. The chance to prove that I'm not just being a foolish kid. This story won't have a happy ending. Too bad for me, eh?

At least I get to be her best friend and for that I am grateful. I shouldn't be greedy and ask for anything more, but I can't help it. I love her so much. She's my everything. I'd give the moon and stars to be with her. I'd give all the money I have and the home I live in. I'd give her my world, because after all she IS my world. I'd give anything and everything to be with her but unfortunately that's impossible. Come on, who am I kidding? I could never get a girl like her in a million years.

~*~*~*~

It's a bright, sunny July afternoon and I'm doing absolutely nothing. It's summer break and I'm wasting it away hanging out with some friends at Greg's house. 'Oh well. I guess it's better than sitting at home alone, eating popcorn and watching cartoons. AND on the plus side I get to spend more time with Lisa.'

"I vote for Cinderella! She's uber sexy!" shouts Pete and everyone gives him a strange look, "Hey, what? She is!" Pete shrugs and laughs.

At the moment we're all voting on which Disney movie we should watch. I sigh and shake my head. When I get bored, I start to think. When I think, I think of

Lisa. When I think of Lisa, I get depressed. Thus I try not to get bored.

"Well, I suggest we watch Beauty and The Beast. It's horribly romantic." Lisa smiles. I raise an eyebrow at her. You can practically see the stars in her eyes.

I frown and scowl, "C'mon you guys. This is totally bunk. Let's actually do something like go to the beach, the mall, something!"

Lisa hits my arm playfully, "Shush you. We haven't had a movie night in, like, forever! It'll be fun!"

Finally Greg gleefully says, "Screw you all! My house, my movies, we're watching Toy Story!"

I groan. How did I end up with the lamest friends in the world? 'It's creepy how much Greg likes that movie...'

10 minutes later Lisa and I are sitting cross-legged on the floor, Greg and Erin are cuddling on the love seat, Pete's curled up in the recliner, Jeff is lying down on the couch and we're all watching Toy Story. I can't help but sneak small glances at Lisa every now and then while watching the movie. I hear Lisa sigh and then she stands up.

"Here turn this way," she tells me and moves me sideways. Then she sits down and so we're now back to back.

"Ahh much better! Now you're my backrest, Ray." she chuckles.

I grin, "Heh maybe so, but you're mine."

The movie plays on and I can't help but feel content surrounded by great friends and the girl I love.

'Now if only she were really mine.'

~*~*~*~

~Original Ending~

I groan and my eyes snap open. My back feels as stiff as a board and I ache. 'Hell, I'm still at Greg's! Musta fell asleep or something. I wonder who else is here.'

I glance around and see Greg and Erin still asleep on the love seat and Pete's in a strange position on the floor next to the recliner. 'Damn! Pete's such a goof!'

I can't see Jeff anywhere so I assume he went home. I yawn and try to sit up to stretch but there seems to be something on my stomach and shoulder holding me down. I look down and see a slender arm covering my torso. I look to my right to see Lisa cuddled next to me with her head pillowed on my shoulder. Confusion and panic sink in.

'Ohmygod. Lisa is practically in my arms. How did this happen?! I better move away before she wakes up and freaks.'

I slowly try to extract myself out of Lisa's loose embrace without rousing her but she stirs and her eyes blink open. I just kind of lay there looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. She closes her eyes her eyes and frowns.

I hear her mumble, "Fuck, what time is it?"

'Uh oh... she doesn't sound happy.'

I chuckle nervously, "Aint sure. Lis, Mind moving?"

Lisa gets up and stretches. She glances at her watch and mutters off a string of curses.

"What's wrong?" I ask confused.

"Ugh, I'm so mad! I had a date tonight but I totally forgot and lost track of time! I've been wanting Jack to ask me out for months now and now he's going to think I'm some tease who stood him up! Anyway, I gotta go. I'll see you later alright?" Lisa grabs her stuff quickly and bolts.

Shock hits me like a tidal wave. I know I've been delusional, pretending that she doesn't have a love life like me. But now I know for sure I'll never have a chance. Ever. I only now realize that I'm crying. All of a sudden two arms wrap around me. I look up to see Pete's sympathetic face looking down at me. He's one of the only people who know about my feelings for Lisa. Pete holds me tightly as I cry out my sorrows into his chest. He's a good friend even if he is a goof.

"It'll be okay Rach. There'll be other fish in the see. You know I love you." he whispers softly into my ear.

With the help of my good friends like Pete, I think I might be able to make it. To move on. I just wish things didn't have to be this way. I wish I was an average teenager.

'Maybe someday I'll tell her. But for now I'll just hurt and I'll heal. And I'll make do with friendship.'

END (of first ending)

~*~*~*~

~Happy Alternate Ending~

I groan and my eyes snap open. My back feels as stiff as a board and I ache all over. 'Hell, I'm still at Greg's! Musta fell asleep or something. I wonder who else is here.'

I glance around and see Greg and Erin still asleep on the love seat and Pete's in a strange position on the floor next to the recliner. 'Damn! Petes such a goof!'

'Ohmygod. Lisa is practically in my arms. How did this happen?! I better move away before she wakes up and freaks.'

I hear her mumble, "Mornin' Ray."

I chuckle nervously, "Hey Lisa. Mind moving?"

She sits up and gestures for me to do the same, which I quickly do. I give her a questioning look and she smiles uneasily.

"I've got to tell you something Rachael. I wanted to tell you at a better time, but I can't hold it in any more. You know how a long time ago you admitted to me that you were gay" Lisa asks me.

I gulp and nod. 'Gods. Please don't tell me she's figured out my crush on her. No, not crush, my love for her.'

She looks down and says, "Well I think I might be too. Or at least bisexual ya know? Because I think I love you Ray. I mean... well... I can't get you out of my head. I even dream about you. You're everything I've ever wanted in a lover. You're fun. You're very loving and caring. You make me smile like no one else can. You make me feel this intense happiness when we're together. At first I was freaked. I've always been attracted to guys. But I don't think my attraction to you has anything to do with you're sex. I think I just love you for you. Though I have to admit, you're tall, blond, super model good looks are a plus," Lisa smiles shakily as she pauses to take a breath, "What I'm trying to say is, I'd give anything and everything to be with you. And if you want... I was hoping we could be, ya know, be more than friends."

She holds her breath and tenses up as she awaits my answer. I think she's going to burn a hole in the carpet soon by the looks of how heated her stare is. The only thing I can do is grin and think 'You gotta be kidding me! I now believe in God. Thank you Holy Father.'

I lift my hand to tilt her chin up so she's looking at me and give her a soft smile. 'She's so so beautiful.'

"You have just made this the most important day of my life. All I want is you and your heart 'cause you have mine. I love ya too Li. I have for God knows how long." and lean forward so our forehead's are touching and then I kiss her gently. It's slow and sensual and packed with love.

We pull apart for air momentarily and then Lisa grabs me and starts kissing me more passionately. All of a sudden clapping, whistling, and cheers erupt. We break apart to see our friends watching us. Lisa blushes and giggles slightly. I just groan and finger them.

"Thanks a lot for ruining the moment!"

Yeah, I'm not your average teenager. I'm the luckiest teenager alive. I have everything I want and everything I need. What did I give to get it all? I gave my heart.

END (The End END)

A/N: I actually wrote this like half a year to a year ago. I just forgot about it and then edited it. Sorry for writing it. Ack I apologize.

Nif

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