Title: Parental Units Aren't As Stupid As They Look... Or Are They?

Author: Majandra

Email: flavorlesschocolate@hotmail.com

Pairing: B/S 4eva

Rating: R, for good measure. Maybe NC-17, I'm not sure.

Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, blah blah woof woof.

Author's Notes: Living alone will do strange things to you if you're not used to it. My mother and sister get back tomorrow, for the meantime I'm revelling in my twistedness. Don't know what y'all will think of this, but I kind of like it. It's a one off, though! It's one of the random firsts I was telling you about, Aeryn.

<<<Brooke moaned in ecstasy as the mystery lover took her nipple deep into their mouth. She could feel her dream lover's hands wandering lower, and lower, and she didn't want to stop them. She was anxious to see where her lover would take her.>>>

Jane walked up the stairs to bed, but as she passed Brooke's room she could hear the blonde moaning, as if she were in pain. Her maternal instincts taking over, she quietly opened the door and peeped in. What she saw reassured her, somewhat. Brooke was writhing, all right, but not in agony. It looked like she was deep in the throes of some raunchy sex dream. Jane stifled a loving giggle, she could remember what it was like to be a teenager and not be having sex, but to be dreaming about it almost every night. Idly, as she left, she wondered which hunk o' the month Brooke was dreaming of. As she closed the door, though, her question was answered, even if it wasn't what she expected. She heard Brooke cry out, obviously in great pleasure.

<<<Brooke tried to open her eyes as she felt the mouth settle between her legs, hoping for a glimpse of who ever it was that was giving her such pleasure. She saw long, thick, wavy brown hair. Chocolate eyes. Full lips curled in a passionate smile. Sam. Just then Sam inserted a finger deep into Brooke's depths, and Brooke came. Hard. Crying out Sam's name.>>>

"Oh, God! Sam!"

*****

In the morning, Jane had a little trouble looking Brooke in the eye. She knew she couldn't risk the newly formed mother daughter relationship between them, so she didn't want to talk to Brooke about it. She couldn't tell Sam her soon to be step sister was crying out her name in the middle of the night, so the only solution was to talk to Mike or go crazy.

"Honey? I think we should talk about Brooke."

"What about Brooke? Has she been misbehaving or something?"

"Or something. Maybe you should sit down. I heard her last night, dreaming. And she was dreaming about something slightly out of the ordinary."

"How could you even tell what she was dreaming?"

"If you'd been there, you'd know. She was writhing, moaning in delight, having a sex dream, Mike. But that in itself isn't the disturbing part, actually I think it's kinda cute. I don't think I've heard Sam have a sex dream yet. But it was who she was dreaming about that bothered me."

"Who was she dreaming about?"

"Mike, in the depths of her passion filled slumber, for lack of a better expression, she called out Sam's name. My daughter's name."

Mike looked stricken. "Well... do you think it's a one off?"

"I honestly don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know either. If you ever hear her again, come get me, okay? I need to see how bad this is."

As the weeks went on, Jane caught Brooke dreaming almost every night. Always it was Sam she called for, and it surprised Jane that Sam didn't wake up. But so far, Sam was still dreaming about nothing in particular.

Brooke's dreams were beginning to grow in intensity. When Mike saw her for the first time, she was arched almost off the bed, whimpering, whispering, "More, more..." She must have got what she wanted because the next word out her mouth was Sam's name. Loudly.

No conclusion was made as to whether to confront Brooke or not. Jane only hoped Sam never found out, for the sanity of their house.

SIX WEEKS LATER

<<<Sam giggled. That tickled. Then all of a sudden, it stopped tickling and started to feel good. Really good. Too good, in fact, and she knew all of a sudden she was going to...>>>

Sam screamed, just noise, no words. Jane came running into her daughter's room to find Sam sitting up, drenched in sweat, breathing hard. She went and sat on the bed and gathered Sam in her arms, beginning to rock her back and forth.

"Oh, baby," she soothed. "Nightmare?"

Thankfully, Jane couldn't see Sam's face as it was buried in her chest. Her daughter's face was bright red with shame. Nightmare? The dream wasn't. But this was.

"Mommy, it's okay," Sam said, reverting to her childhood name for her mother in an attempt to make her smile. "I just got startled, that's all. I'm okay, go back to bed."

"If you're sure," Jane said uncertainly, getting up. "You know, you're never too old to come crawl into bed with me if you're scared."

Sam laughed nervously. "Yeah, but I think I'm a little too old to be crawling in beside you when Mike is sharing your bed as well."

Jane laughed. "Well, there is that," she giggled as she left the room. Sam fell back onto the pillows with a sigh of relief.

"That was close. Too close," she muttered.

Sleep was a long time coming for Sam that night. In fact, it became damn near impossible when she started to hear the noises coming from the next room. Brooke was having another dream, the first one Sam had been awake for, and Sam just laughed. Finally, something to tease the perfect blonde over. She could just see it now, Brooke staggering into the bathroom to find Sam sitting there. "So, who was he?" Sam would ask, a cheeky grin on her face. Brooke would just die from embarrassment!

<But wait. Why do I want to embarrass her? She's been being nothing but nice to me lately. Sam, just admit that you want her, and the only reason you want to shame her out is that you're pissed she doesn't want you back.>

Just then Sam's chances of sleeping at all were shattered as Brooke's dream reached it's exciting, but by now predictable conclusion. "SAMMY!"

Sam lay awake for the rest of the night, a big smile on her face.

*****

But Sam wasn't to get off that easily. Her dream came back, with a vengeance, and this time she was unfortunate enough to get caught by Mike. He was sitting outside the bathroom with his head in his hands, wondering what he was going to say to Brooke when she found out he knew about her sexy Sam dreams. When Sam cried out, he looked in on her idly, his paternal instincts kicking in but not as strongly as Jane's maternal instincts had. He hung his head as he realized they now had not one but two teenagers dreaming about sex. And their chances of sleeping through a double whammy like this were slim to none.

<<<It's not just the fact that she has her tongue deep inside me. It's her hair, tickling my stomach, it's her hands pinching my nipples. It's the fact that she's going to make me come then hold me, kiss me, uh oh, here comes the coming!>>>

"Brooke! Oh, Brooke! Ah!!"

*****

Jane and Mike sat at the breakfast table facing each other, their faces pictures of exhaustion and anxiety. Sam and Brooke calmly eating their breakfast, neither knowing the parentals knew about their night time dreaming shenanigans.

Jane had bags under her eyes, not just regular bags but industrial size bags. Mike was so pale he looked like he was going to fall into his oatmeal. Sam and Brooke were refreshed, however, by the supposed afterglow of their dreams. Sam smiled to herself as she remembered Dream Brooke making love to her. Tonight was the night, she told herself. Tonight was the night the dreams were going to come true.

As the girls left the house to do their weekend recreational activities, Jane and Mike looked at each other. Jane was the first to speak.

"You know this is ridiculous, don't you. We have to get some sleep. Sure, they're dreaming about each other, but shouldn't we be pleased that it's only dreams? If they're dreaming about each other, they haven't done anything about it, and likely they never will. So lets make a pact. Lets do whatever it takes to ignore them, even if we each have to listen to a Walkman all night."

"Okay. I could definitely do with some sleep."

It is now necessary for me to use the rather hackneyed phrase "meanwhile, back at the ranch." The word "hackneyed" here means "used by so, so many writers that by the time Majandra uses it, it is a tiresome cliché." "Meanwhile, back at the ranch" is a phrase used to link what is going on in one part of the story to what is going on in another part of the story, and it has nothing to do with cows or horses or with any people who work in rural areas where ranches are, or even with ranch dressing, which is creamy and put on salads. Here, the phrase "meanwhile, back at the ranch" refers to what Sam and Brooke were doing while Jane and Mike were discussing sleep. For, as Jane and Mike decided staunchly to ignore their daughters, said daughters were doing something which I am sure will be of interest to you.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Brooke and Sam had driven to the mall and were about to commence shopping. Well, Brooke was up for some heavy duty retail therapy, but Sam was only there to pick up a few select things. She waited until Brooke had disappeared into a clothing store, then headed for the biggest lingerie store she could find.

About an hour later, Sam met up with Brooke, a large brown paper bag under her arm, and begged Brooke to leave. Brooke hadn't really found anything that caught her fancy, so she agreed, and they drove home. To find the house empty.

Jane and Mike had headed out, rented a hotel room for the night in the hopes of getting some sleep. Sam licked her lips in anticipation, this was even more perfect than she could have arranged herself. Wait until night, she told herself. Then let the festivities begin.

Nightfall. Sam could barely contain herself. She said goodnight to Brooke, then went to her room and changed into the pale blue teddy she'd bought herself that day. All she could do now was wait until Brooke fell asleep.

Sure enough, Sam soon started hearing the sounds that meant Brooke was having another dream. Smiling wickedly, she slipped into Brooke's room and made her way to the bed. Leaning over, she kissed Brooke firmly, licking the blonde's lower lip. Brooke half woke but was still half asleep, and she returned the kiss enthusiastically, obviously thinking she was still dreaming. While their tongues were dueling, Sam let her hand drift to Brooke's breast, and Brooke arched herself into Sam's hand. Then she woke up.

"Sam?" she asked, sleepily. Then she pushed away and sat up. "Sam?" she demanded.

"Brooke, you've been dreaming about me for ages now. It's no good denying it, you scream my name every night. I just thought you'd maybe like to have the real thing, especially since the real thing has been lusting after you for the better part of a year now. But if you don't want me, I'll go." She stood and backed away from the bed, giving Brooke a good view of what she was wearing. Brooke held out her hand.

"Sammy? Don't go," she pleaded. Sam was back on the bed so fast Brooke was crushed against her before the poor blonde knew what was happening. Sam kissed her hungrily, and, deciding thinking was overrated, Brooke reciprocated. Breaking apart for air, Brooke looked into the chocolate eyes she'd seen so many nights before.

"The real thing's kisses beat the shit out of any dream I may have had," she informed a grinning Sam. "So, wanna see if you measure up in bed?"

"Are you kidding? Move over Dream Sam, here comes the real thing!"

Brooke and Sam were louder that night than any of the nights they had been dreaming. When Jane and Mike came home from the motel, they assumed by the noises they heard that the dreams were still going strong.

Sam and Brooke never dreamed loudly enough to be heard after finally getting together. No prizes for guessing what it was the parentals were actually hearing.