Talking the Talk

Drain Brameged Inc. Proudly presents,
A Mad-Hamlet Production

Feather Roads - Talking the Talk

Authors notes: A little short, a little rushed..but a friend was in desperate need of a WAFFY fic after reading Sundowning. I _live_ for those moments.

"Give me the remote." I say.

"No." Buffy smiles holding it away from me. With her other hand she dips into the bowl of chips and munches a handful.

"Give me the remote!" I say again, I try and use my 'resolve' face to add power to the command but her smile, and slow wink makes me giggle instead. This is just no fair.

"Please Buffy, give me the remote." Puppy dog eyes, that'll do the trick.

"No go babe. I got the Anti-Puppy factor going for me." She smirks.

"That being what?" I say with a pout.

"I have your feet." She says and her grip slams around my ankles.

"Oohh no no no no no no no no!" I beg..in vain. I know where this is going and I love every second of it.

Nonchalantly she puts the remote down, still safely out of reach.

"Why what do we have here?" She says with a fake look of surprise. "Helpless and defenseless Willow feet!"

"No no no no no no no please Buffy..no no no no.." I'm still begging. She's too good at this.

"We all know what happens to unprotected Willow Feet don't we?" She asks with a lecherous grin.

"No no no no please no no no oh Goddess save your..." I'm interrupted by Buffy's triumphant shout of "TICKLE MONSTER!"

And I can't say anything for the next few minutes.

It takes me about ten minutes to regain my composure..er..catch my breath..

"Please can I have the remote?" I ask quietly.

"Sorry lover." Buffy quips. She's sat back on her end of the sofa, eating another handful of chips, "But it's my house, so my rules..I grew up watching this show and I want to re-live some of the good old days. So there." And she sticks her tongue out at me.

"But..but..but.." I stammer. "Bewitched? I mean..that show is so..insulting to witches and..and..that nose thing? I mean..who believes that..and all this matter just popping in and out. And Samantha's mother, what self-respecting witch in her right mind would dress like that? I absolutely adore you Buffy and knowing tonight we'll be making mad passionate love does make me feel all warm and tingly but if you actually try and make me watch this whole 'Bewitched' marathon I'm gonna-"

"Uh..Hi! Mom!" Buffy says loudly.

"Wish the Earth will swallow me up right this very second." I squeak.

Please be kidding, please be kidding, please be kidding, please be kidding...I look at Buffy. Back ramrod straight, eyes big and wide, mouth kind of slack..oh..this is so not good.

Turn the head..slowly..slowly..don't want to be all panicky if she's faking, she'll think she got me, I'm not going to let her get me, and..and..if..she..oh big time trouble no..if she isn't faking I have too..have too..look..oh..oh oh oh...no.

"H-hi..Mrs...ah..Summers." I stammer out.

Then fall out of the sofa.

"Willow?" I hear.

"Willow? Can you hear me?" Don't think I recognize the voice. Mmm..sleepy.

"Mom, give me some room." Hi Buffy..what are you doing in my dream?

"Buffy, what was that Willow was saying..making..."

"Not now Mom, later. I promise..just let me get Willow on the sofa."

"Here, put this blanket on top of her. I'll get some water." Ah..now I recognize that voice..that's Buffy's mom, Joyce. She's nice though she did have rather bad timing coming back home unexpectedly just when I was telling Buffy about how..

I sit bolt upright.

"IwasjustkiddingMrsSummers Iswearwhateveryouheardwaswrong!" I blurt out.

"Shhh..." Buffy's on her knees beside me. Stroking my hair..it's nice... I can feel my heart hammering really loudly, but still her hand feels nice. I lean into the touch.

"Oh..oh that was scary." I say to Buffy, closing my eyes. "I dreamed your mother came home and..."

"Here's the water and..oh..Willow. You're awake. Are you alright dear?"

Eep.

"YesImquiteallrightMrsSummersthanksforasking BuffyitsbeenfunbutIreallyreally reallythinkIhavetogonow!"

Panic!

Panic!
Panic!
Panic!

Panic!

"No, you better stay here Willow." Mrs. Summers says sitting next to me. "You did just suffer a fainting spell after all."

Her smile is warm and friendly but her eyes are really serious. What I can see of them, I'm not exactly looking her in the face as my chin is trying to merge with my breastbone.

Panic!
Panic!
Panic!
Panic!
Panic!
Panic!
Panic!

"Buffy..what was that Willow was saying as I came in the room?" Mrs Summers asks. I can't really tell how she's looking. My fingers are very, very interesting right now.

I hear Buffy sigh. I know that sigh it's the, 'Okay here we go this should be a real bucket of laughs.' sigh.

"Yes mom, Willow and I are lovers, yes mom I'm sure, no mom I haven't tried not being in love with her, yes mom I'm going to stick with her, yes mom we should have told you, yes mom I'm sorry but we were scared. I'm sorry." Buffy says in one breath.

I try real hard not to giggle.

"Oh." Mrs. Summers says. I glance at her. She's still sitting next to me, looks relaxed enough, she's not looking at either me, or Buffy, just..off into space.

"Mom?" Buffy asks.

Mrs. Summers doesn't say anything.

"Mom?" Buffy asks again.

Still nothing.

"Did..did..we break her?" I ask quietly.

"I..don't think so." Buffy leans forward. "Mom, this is the part where you smile and say 'Whatever makes you happy dear.' right? You're not going to go homophobe on us are you?" Buffy waves her hand in her mother's face a few times.

Mrs. Summers snaps back. "Are you really sure Buffy? Lord knows I experimented in College when.."

I give a loud yelp and pull the blankets over my head, stick my fingers in my ears and loudly begin to hum 'These Boots are Made For Walking' as loudly as I can. Doesn't work.

"Mom!" Buffy interrupts her. "If you never, ever finish that sentence I swear I'll not bring up the band candy incident ever again!"

"I was going to say with dope Buffy." I peek my head out from under the blanket.

"You tried marijuana Mrs. Summers?" I ask hesitantly.

She smiles at me. She still looks a little serious but nowhere near 'crush little Jewish girl who you just discovered has been having sex with your only daughter' class homicidal.

It's the quiet ones, I remind myself..gotta watch out for the quiet ones.

"Once Willow." That was enough. She looks at the two of us with that 'mom' look that somehow they learn from..somebody.

"I take it..." She says slowly. "This was not a one time thing."

"About a year mom." Buffy easily replies. How can she be so relaxed? If my parents find out they'll have me excommunicated! No..wait..we're Jewish we don't do that..well..it'll be bad.

"And...you love Willow, is that correct?" Joyce asks her daughter.

"Do you..." Buffy replies. She seems to be thinking. "Do you remember what I told you about Angelus mom? About two years ago?"

Slowly Mrs Summers nods. Where is Buffy going with this?

"Let me put it like this then." Buffy says. "If I had to do to Willow, what I had to do to Angel, I would not have gotten on the bus leaving Sunnydale.

What?

"Buffy, I'm afraid I don't.." Mrs. Summers begins.

"I would have let it run over me." Buffy finishes.

Aww..what a sweet thing to say..oh..wait..no it isn't..well..maybe I mean..but..suicide..that's bad..but feeling so strongly so..that's good and..uh...mmm..

"Ah." Mrs. Summers says. She's using that tone of voice that parents use when they want to appear 'wise'. "I see." She pauses, eyebrows creasing. "I think."

"I love Willow mom." Buffy says very matter-of-factly, taking my hand. "Nuff said."

"And..you..Willow..you love Buffy?" She turns to me.

Ohmygoshshe'slookingrightatmeandI'mgonnadie!!Helphelphelpehelphelp!

"Yeah!" I say loudly. I'm sure I'm wearing some maniacal grin. "She's..she's..Buffy's..ah..sweet..really sweet..and no..that didn't come out right I mean she's very, very, nice and I love her a lot can I go to the bathroom please?"

"Do you have too?" Mrs. Summers asks very quietly, using that Wise voice again.

"NotreallybutIthinkI'mgoingtocombustI'msoembarrssed!" I squeak.

Mrs Joyce pats me on the head. Hey! I'm no kid I'm in college, I'm an adult, I'm mature, I'm..I'm..not hyperventilating anymore. Neat!

"Nothing to be that embarrassed over Willow." Mrs. Summers says quietly. "Okay, so it was kind of awkward. Myself walking in at just the wrong time..." She pauses. "Or the right time maybe."

She turns to her daughter. "When exactly were you going to share this with me?"

Buffy turns bright red and flaps her hands around helplessly. She shoots me a pained look, a plea for help but I'm barely hanging on as is.

"Uh..that is..the..er..right time?" She says helplessly.

Mrs. Summers sighs. "Well..I suppose now will do. I didn't discover about Angel for nearly two years so I should be used to it by now."

"Well..that and Parker." I chip in..oh god no I said exactly the wrong thing. Buffy levels a 'I will kill you later' glare my way. "Uh..did I say Parker? I meant..umm..barker..yeah..don't see too many good carnival barkers these days, what with there being no Carnivals to bark for I mean..wow..television really killed them huh. Interesting that.

Mrs. Summers doesn't buy it.

"Parker?" She looks at her daughter with a raised eyebrow crossing her arms over her chest.

"College experiment mom. Failed..big time. Savor the irony." Buffy says in reply, also crossing her arms. Like mother, like daughter.

"Another time then." Mrs. Summers says. She looks between the two of us again.

"Just exactly how did this start?" She asks.

NO! Don't wanna remember, won't remember..just..push it back..breathe..breathe..shh shh...
I feel Buffy wrapping her arms around me, take strength from Buffy, Buffy's here..shhh..shhh..you're alright..you're alright....

"Not a good question mom. Let is drop okay?"I hear Buffy saying. She sounds a little far away.

In one two three
Out one two three
In one two three
Out one two three

Breathe..relax..breathe..relax..okay..I'm okay..

I open my eyes and look at Mrs. Summers. She's wearing a look of real concern, she's shifted forward a little and looking me in the eyes earnestly.

"Are...are you sure honey?" She asks.

"I'm sure." Buffy says.

"Surely sure." I echo.

"Hey." Buffy kisses the top of my head. "Welcome back."

"Did I leave?" I ask.

"Zoned for a second, but ya toughed it out." She replies back to me, I can hear her smile. I can also hear her heart too. It's hammering like mine, so..she's not the only nervous one. Still..it could have been the 'question' not getting caught.

I inhale deeply..ah..Buffyscent. Much, much better.

"So..let me get this straight." Mrs. Summers says. "You two are engaged in a lesbian relationship, have been for nearly a year, are deeply in love and you can't tell me how it all started?"

"Uh..yeah?" I answer her quietly.

"That about sums it up mom." Buffy says.

"So much for grandchildren." Mrs. Summers sighs.

"MOM!" Buffy says loudly.

"Sorry dear." Mrs. Summers says.

I, personally, find the entire exchange quite funny.

"Well..ah..mm..you never know..Mrs. Summers. Her first love was a vampire, mine was a werewolf, we've beaten vampires, demons, nearly been sacrificed, involved with a government conspiracies, and fought things that would make a terminator seem like a Teddy Ruxpin." I shrug. "What's the big deal of two women having children?"

Mrs. Summers gives me a pained smile. "Well..I suppose so Willow."

"You can stop helping me at any time you know" Buffy says.

I tilt my head and kiss the tip of her chin. "But I like helping." I say with an arched eyebrow.

Buffy just groans and buries her face in my hair. Tingly!

"Oh, Bewitched is on." Mrs. Summers says. "Remember when we used to watch that together Buffy?"

"Sure thing mom!" Buffy says letting me go and squeezing into the space between me and Mrs. Summers. "How about we catch up on times huh?"

"Sounds like fun." Mrs. Summers says and makes herself more comfortable on the sofa.

Buffy turns her face to mine and mouths the words 'Nearer, nearer.'

I stick my tongue out at her but accept my fate.

We watch the television for a few minutes.

"Your boyfriend was a werewolf?"