Sam's Confession

TITLE: Sam's Confession

AUTHOR: Lou

DISCLAIMER: The Popular characters are not mine ,I have merely borrowed them to bring you this tale, which I am not making any profit from.

RATING:NC-17

PAIRING: S/N & S/B

FEEDBACK: All comments gratefully received, online or off.

ARCHIVING: http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/lou.htm

NOTE: some angst, some not.

Eight

Sam watched Nicole get into her car and drive off, blowing Sam a kiss, later on that morning and walked back into the house, picking up the cordless phone as she walked past the breakfast bar. She paced absently across the living room as she dialed familiar numbers

`Hi Lil, it's Sam…….. Did you still wanna come over and study today? ……. Yeah, Carmen said she'd come over too if she hadn't had chance to finish yesterday……she went to visit the `rentals…ok…see you in a few'

The three of them spent most of the rest of the day studying, finally giving up and crashing on the sofa to watch TV late in the afternoon.

Lilly picked up the videos that were next to the TV `You've Got Mail?? You hate romance films'

`Isn't it woman's prerogative to change her mind?' Sam blustered

`Ah Tomb Raider, now that I could imagine you renting' Lilly grinned at her friend `Got time to watch it again before you have to return it?'

`Lara Croft is worth the late charges' Sam replied as she took the film off her friend and put it in the video

Carmen and Lily had not long left when Sam heard the sound of a car in the driveway

`Hi' Sam said as Brooke came through the door and dropped her bag on the sofa `Good weekend?'

`Yeah…. Jane sends her love and Daddy said you weren't to upset the neighbors by playing you're `God awful loud rock music at extreme volumes' Brooke made exaggerated speech marks in the air `just `cause he isn't here to keep an eye on you. How about you? They were disappointed you didn't come with me'

`I enjoyed the peace to get some studying done' Sam smirked `hey, I've got some videos to return, you want to come? We could pick a film to watch together if you wanted?'

Brooke smiled weakly `thanks but I think I'll go to bed, it's been a long drive.' she was already heading towards the stairs as she spoke.

`Oh. Ok. G'night'

`Night'

As Monday morning dawned Sam found she didn't have to fight for the bathroom, Brooke having already left for school as she frequently did recently. Sam smiled to herself as she recalled her weekend and looked forward to seeing Nicole for their regular trip to the coffee shop after school.

Nicole was smiling as she picked Sam up later that day

`I missed you'

`I'm sorry, I had to do some stuff for the paper'

`No I missed you last night, I could get used to falling asleep with your arms wrapped round me'

Sam looked round to make sure there was no one about and kissed Nicole

`It is very nice, falling asleep together, but waking up next to you is pretty good too'

`It's no good, my reputation as a heartless bitch is shattered forever' Nicole laughed

`Only to me' Sam replied as they pulled out of the empty parking lot

`Do you want to get dinner?' Nicole asked later as they packed up their books in the coffee shop

`I should really get back, Brooke has been even quieter since she got back yesterday, if that's at all possible. I thought I'd make dinner and see if I can get her to talk'

`What, you think the threat of your cooking will scare it out of her' Nicole joked, but looked disappointed Sam was going home

`Ha ha. Watch it or I'll force you to eat my pasta'

Sam struggled though the palace door sometime later, laden with shopping bags, to find Brooke sitting at the breakfast bar surrounded by textbooks

`I thought I'd make us dinner' she said as she dumped the bags on the worktop

Brooke barely looked up from her studies as she smiled weakly `Pasta again then?'

`I thought maybe we could do something together tonight, watch a film maybe?'

`Thanks, but I have a load of reading to do before tomorrow'

`But you'll join me for dinner?'

`Sure. You need any help?

`Thanks, but I'm good` Sam replied as she wandered backwards and forwards across the kitchen, unpacking bags and collecting ingredients

Brooke continued to study while Sam worked in silence, trying not to disturb her housemate

Sam set a steaming plate down on Brooke's textbook a few minutes later, startling the blonde out of her concentration

`Wow, actually not pasta, looks great' Brook smiled at Sam and moved her book as she took the fork Sam handed her

`Stir fry, I'm expanding my repertoire' Sam grinned as she slid onto the stool opposite Brooke and dug her fork into her own plate of vegetable and noodles

`You couldn't have suddenly learnt to cook when Jane and daddy left, instead of a couple of weeks before they come home?'

Sam smiled, surprised at Brooke teasing her, something she hadn't done for a while

`Hey if you'd known I could cook, you wouldn't have let me call for take out so often'

Brooke pulled face at Sam and pulled her open textbook towards her and started to read

Sam put her hand over the book `Hey you could talk to me you know. Why don't you tell me about your day, or how bad my cooking is? We never just talk anymore'

`We never `just talked' Sam, it always turned into an argument'

`That is so not true. We talk, sometimes. We have been known to be in each other's company for at least two hours and not actively started throwing things'

`Why don't you just drop it'

`No, I won't, why won't you talk to me Brooke?'

`God, do you ever stop being the journalist? You have to investigate everything, so one is allowed their own privacy when you are around, you have to dissect everything, there has to be a reason for everything with you. Maybe I just don't want to talk to you'

Brooke slammed her fork down and picking up her textbook, stormed off to her room

Sam stared after Brooke, stunned

<<Where did that come from?>>

Sam put down her own fork and walked slowly up the stairs. She paused outside Brooke's room, contemplating turning and running for it, before she got another mouthful off her housemate. She didn't though and knocked on the door. The door was wrenched violently open at her knock

`Take a hint Sam, LEAVE ME ALONE'

Brooke slammed the door shut again with such force the house shook

Sam turned and headed back down stairs. Looking at their unfinished dinners, Sam realized she wasn't hungry any more and started to clean up the kitchen. When she had washed the dishes she left them to drain and went up to her room.

She turned her laptop on and put her headphones on, tuning the volume up loud as she started to type.

She didn't hear the knock on her door an hour or so later, her music drowning out any external sound as she concentrated on the article she was working on, until the knocking became loud enough to shake the door in it's frame.

Sam pulled her headphones out of her ears and got up, walking across the room and opening the door. Brooke stood in front of her, looking sheepish

`I came to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. And I'm sorry I didn't eat dinner. It really did look good'

`Apology accepted. But I wasn't prying. Honest. I was just concerned about you. You haven't been yourself lately. I just wanted to let you know I'm here if you want to talk'

`Thanks, but I'm fine. I'm just tired I guess. I think maybe I'll have an early night'

`Ok. Sleep well, then'

`You too, don't stay up too late`

`Yes, mom' Sam replied, giving Brooke a mock salute

Sam came home early again the next evening, after Brooke had cornered her at school and offered to cook that evening, to make it up to Sam for ruining dinner the previous night.

Nicole complained good-naturedly when Sam had left her at the coffee shop, promising to make it up to her for running off early two nights in a row. She didn't tell Nicole about the previous night's argument with Brooke. She wasn't sure why exactly, just that it didn't seem right, since the two of them still weren't speaking.

When Sam got home, the first thing she noticed was that the table had already been set and a vase of flowers sat in the centre.

Cooking smells greeted Sam as she wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge pulling out a bottle of water

`Smells wonderful, whatever it is'

Sam dodged round Brooke, who was chopping vegetables at the worktop next to the cooker, and lifted up the lids on the saucepans bubbling on the hob

`Hey, no peeking' Brooke said as she shooed Sam out of the kitchen `it'll be while so go and amuse yourself. Somewhere out of here, preferably'

`Ok, ok, I'm going. Ill be upstairs then, if you need my culinary assistance' Sam joked as she headed towards her room

`It's ready' Brooke called up the stairs sometime later, trying to make herself heard over Sam's thumping rock music

Sam came downstairs, obviously fresh from the shower in baggy black jogging bottoms and an equally baggy grey tee shirt, her hair still slightly damp

Brooke was still in the outfit she had worn to school; a pink short sleeved shirt and coordinating skirt, having started cooking as soon as she got in.

Sam pulled out a chair and sat down as Brooke brought the serving dishes in from the kitchen

`Roast chicken, mashed potatoes, cabbage and gravy' she gestured as she placed each of the dishes on the table

`This looks great' Sam looked at Brooke and smiled `thank you'

`Your welcome, I'm just sorry your efforts were wasted last night'

`It's forgotten, don't worry about it. Pass the gravy?'

They managed to eat their meal in relative peace, mostly chatting about irrelevancies as they ate, although Sam got the impression that Brooke was about to tell her something, the entire time they ate, but Brooke never managed to articulate it, whatever it was.

When they had finished they washed the dishes together in companionable silence. Brooke put the last plate a way and hung the cloth on the oven handrail to dry

`D'you want to watch some tv? Brooke asked as they both looked round the kitchen checking everything had been put away

`I have an assignment that's due before we break up and I kind of haven't started it yet, so I should work on that really' Sam replied apologetically

`What do you mean `kind of' not started'

``Kind of' as in `not at all'' Sam looked sheepish

`Well, better get on with it then' Brooke smiled, but Sam noticed the disappointment in the blonde's eyes

Nine

Author's Note: *WARNING* THIS PART IS NC-17

~~~~~

They lapsed into their previous routine for the rest of the week; Sam meeting Nicole after school every afternoon and Brooke and Sam's paths crossing occasionally for dinner.

Brooke continued to keep her seemingly self imposed vow of silence except for occasional conversations with Sam over their choice for dinner when they happened to eat together at home, which occasionally extended to innocuous small talk if they actually ate together. Sam thought there was still something bothering Brooke, but refused to pursue it after her previous attempt had been rebuffed so forcefully.

Finally the weekend rolled around, leading to much excitement as there were only two more school days until they finished for spring break

Saturday morning found Carmen, Lilly and Sam lounging on Lilly's sofa drinking coffee

`Well, what are we going to do with ourselves today?' Sam asked, dangling one denim-clad leg over the arm of the armchair she was sprawled across

`Shopping, definitely' Carmen replied, nodding her head to emphasize her decision

`Do you mean actual shopping , or wandering round the mall for the rest of the day, looking at outfits we can't afford and being dragged into CD and bookstores every time Sam sees one?' Lilly asked, frowning at her friend

`Sounds good to me` Sam chimed in

`but isn't what a shopping trip is about?' Carmen asked innocently, her gaze traveling back and forth between her friends

`Fine' Lilly threw her hands up in a gesture of defeat `shopping it is'

`How about a movie afterwards?' Sam suggested

`Maybe bowling?' Carmen said

`Miniature golf?' Sam added

`Eat out?'

Lilly shrugged and stared skywards as she followed her friends out of her house `Give me strength'

After two hours Sam had managed to find two CD stores and one bookstore to Carmen's three designer stores, where they had tried on several outfits, laughing as they admired each other's outfits in the changing room mirrors. The clothes had started to get more outlandish as Carmen and Sam egged each other on, until Sam had managed to be prancing round the changing rooms in a neon pink feather boa before the shop assistant had glowered at them and Lilly had convinced them that maybe breaking for coffee would be a good plan as the store detective had taken to hovering next to her.

As they were wandering towards the front of the shop, still laughing Lilly suddenly stopped in her tracks, causing Carmen to run into the back of her

Carmen and Sam both stopped laughing and looked up to see what had stopped Lilly. As Sam looked up , she found her gaze meeting that of her girlfriend, accompanied by a gushing Mary Cherry who was loading clothes onto a struggling shop assistant as she headed towards the changing rooms

`Sam' Nicole continued to hold Sam's stare as Sam felt herself blush at the sudden unexpected encounter

`Nicole' Sam returned the gaze and was surprised to see none of their warmth she had become accustomed to in the blue eyes staring at her

Nicole looked away and turned to follow her friend into the changing rooms

<< What was that about? It was as if she barely knew me>> Sam wondered to herself

Sam was so flustered that she barely caught the end of what Lilly was saying

`…..Weird, I can't believe she wasn't spewing insults as usual, I mean we are prime targets being in here' she gestured at their surroundings, taking in the racks of designer clothes they had no hope of every affording in the same quantities as the two blondes currently torturing the sales staff in the changing rooms, judging by the stream of instructions that could currently be heard issuing from Mary Cherry's lips

Lilly and Carmen shrugged in unison as they headed out of the store, discussing the best place to go for a veggie burger for lunch, leaving a confused Sam trailing in their wake

`Hello, earth to Sam' Lilly said waving her hand in front of Sam's face as they sat at Lilly's house later that afternoon, assessing the success of their shopping trip

`Huh? What?' Sam replied her eyes focusing on Lily for the first time in several minutes

`You haven't really been with us all afternoon Sam, what's up?'

`Uh… nothing, I think I'm just tired'

`You not up for doing something tonight, then? If we can ever decide on what that something is, of course' she finished, grinning

`Yeah, why not? What are we doing this evening?'

`Dunno, no one seems inclined to be decisive' Lilly said sarcastically

`Hey, how about this?' Carmen said as she waved the local paper she had been reading at them `Local band at the coffee shop in town. Could be good?'

`Isn't that the gay place? Yeah, I know it, let's do that then. Sam?'

`Uh, yeah, sure'

`Hey, chance for you to scope out the local talent Sam' Carmen said, winking exaggeratedly and nudging Sam in the ribs

`Oh, god…..' Sam rolled her eyes and laughed `Just don't go setting me up with anyone, ok? It's embarrassing'

`Absolutely. Promise' Carmen replied giggling

The three of them laughed and joked as they got ready later, Lilly and Carmen both winding Sam up about being `on the pull' and Sam jokingly threatening to set both of them up, if they didn't leave her alone.

Finally they were all ready; Lilly in a long dark skirt and flowing flowery blouse with Sam was in black jeans and a new dark long sleeved top she had bought while they were shopping. Carmen wore a short black skirt and a scoop-necked black top.

They arrived in time to grab a sofa to themselves before the band started, which turned out to be a good idea as the place soon began to fill up. They ordered coffees and chatted as the band started. Carmen made it her mission to point out various women to Sam, now once she realized how much it would Sam up and the two of them bickered good naturedly, as Lilly ignore them both and watched the band , refusing to be drawn in as referee to their games. She was very pleased of the distraction when Josh turned up with an uncomfortable looking Sugar Daddy, protesting loudly that he was only there for the band, really to anyone that was listening, which was pretty much no-one.

Sam was thrown completely when she realized that Nicole and Mary Cherry had arrived with them and ended up joining them. Mary Cherry loudly commenting that it was nice ` people like that ` had somewhere to go as she virtually sat on Sugar Daddy trying to get him to share his seat on the adjoining sofa, the place had gotten so crowded.

Lilly sat on her boyfriend's lap next to Carmen, who squashed up against Sam, seated in the corner of the sofa.

Sam was somewhat dismayed to see Nicole perch on the far edge of the coffee table with her back to her as she faced Mary Cherry and Sugar Daddy, occasionally joining in their conversation.

`Wouldn't have pictured this as Nicole's scene' Carmen said to Sam, leaning over to her to make herself heard over the band

`Mmm' Sam agreed, her mind whirling

<< She didn't even look at me when she got here, it's as though I don't even exist>> Sam thought to herself

She continued to think about it for the rest of the evening, her annoyance rising, as Nicole chatted with her friends

Sam joined in her friend's conversations during the rest of the evening although her heart wasn't really in it, hurt by her girlfriend's snub as she didn't even say goodnight when they all left after the gig

Lilly, Carmen and Sam ended up back at Lilly's as they had all agreed on a sleep over, and a study session together the following day, as one of their teachers had decided that just because it was coming up to vacation they weren't going to get to slack off and had kindly scheduled a test for the last day of school

`You ok, Sam, you seem kind of subdued?' Lilly asked as she climbed into bed

`Sorry Lil, just tired I guess, been doing a load of stuff for the paper and been up late all week'

`Well, I think we could all use a lie in tomorrow and it's not like we have to rush, we've got all day to study'

`I thought you were trying to cheer me up Lil' Sam joked from the air mattress she was lying on

`What'd I miss?' Carmen asked as she arrived, ready for bed in an outsize tee-shirt, emblazoned with a teddy bear in his pajamas, and settled her self on the other side of Sam on another air bed

`Lil was trying to cheer me up with the prospect of a whole day of studying tomorrow'

`Like you had a better offer for a Sunday, than spending it with your friends?` Carmen teased `You were kind of quiet tonight though, you ok?'

`I'm fine, guys really' Sam said to them both as they all settled in for the night

<< or rather I will be, when I find out why Nicole's ignoring me>> she thought as they all drifted off to sleep

Sam tried to put the incident, or rather, non-incident, out of her mind as she studied with her friends all the next day, but kept finding her mind wandering as to why Nicole was so off with her the day before and had to be brought back to the present by her friends, who continued to ask her if she was ok

<< This just feels wrong, keeping it from them>> Sam thought as she maintained for possibly the hundredth time that day that she was fine, really

She found it just as hard to concentrate for the entire of Monday, hoping she would get to sort it out with Nicole that afternoon at their regular afternoon rendez-vous.

Sam was less than pleased to find she was needed for the entire afternoon in the paper office to sort out the issue ready for the final day after having a computer glitch wipe several key files which had to be re-input by hand. A job made easier due to the fact the whole issue had been printed for proof reading earlier than day. She had had to leave a note in Nicole's locker telling her she wouldn't be able to meet her, so hadn't spoke to her since the weekend.

Sam was glad that they had been let out of final period early for the vacation on the last day and was waiting in the coffee shop for her girlfriend who hadn't been so fortunate. She was however, fuming

`Hi Sam, you got let out early then? We were made to sit and suffer the whole damn lesson' Nicole said as she dropped her bag and sat down next to Sam on the sofa, waving the waitress over `a large non-fat de-caff latte, please'

She lent over to kiss Sam as the waitress disappeared to get her order

`What?'

`You can't possibly be that oblivious' Sam said her annoyance obvious as she moved away from Nicole

`What have I done?'

`You damn near blank me in that shop on Saturday and then you were in here, the place we come everyday and don't even acknowledge my existence Saturday night. You wanna tell me what that's about? No wait, I know already; you're ashamed of me, of us, you don't want you friends to know about us, I think it's pretty clear how they feel about the whole subject from their oh so tolerant behavior Saturday night' Sam finished , her face flushed with anger

Nicole stared at her feet, abashed as the waitress arrived and placed her coffee on the low table in front of her

`I'm sorry, Sam I didn't mean to hurt you……' she looked up at Sam and as their eye's met Sam saw the tears in her girlfriend's eyes `I ..I just wasn't expecting to see you….I mean...I didn't know how to be with you…..I'm just not ready for people to know about me yet, about us …this….' Her voice trailed off `when I saw you I just wanted to kiss you and then Mary Cherry and sugar Daddy acting so bloody stupid… I didn't know what to do. Can you forgive me Sam?'

She looked at Sam with pleading eyes and Sam felt her anger dissipate

`You know that Lilly and Carmen know about me. I hate hiding this from them, and then to have this from you, well it hurt'

`I know, I'm sorry'

Sam held her arms out and Nicole kicked off her shoes and folded her legs under her as she snuggled against Sam's chest

`I'm still annoyed at you'

`I know'

`I want to be able to tell them about us, God I want to tell the world Nicole'

`We will. I promise, just not yet, ok?'

`Ok'

Nicole tilted her head up and kissed Sam before snuggling back into her embrace. They stayed like that for the rest of the afternoon into the early evening, as people starting arriving for the social group, just cuddling, neither saying much as they both knew they would have to talk to their friends about it eventually.

`Do you want to stay for the group?' Nicole asked sitting up and looking round at the number of people that had filled the coffee shop

`I'm not really in a sociable mood, but I'd quite like to just stay here a bit longer, we'll be out of the way over here. Do you mind?'

`No, me neither' Nicole looked up and Sam and their eyes met, the look saying more than either of them had all afternoon, and they kissed passionately.

`I'm sorry Sam' Nicole whispered as they parted, still snuggled together 'I could never be ashamed of you'

Sam didn't reply, but tightened her embrace

By the time Nicole drove Sam home it was starting to get dark, things between them better than they had been, but still a little awkward after their first fight, both of them knowing it wouldn't be the last one on the subject

`How about I call you when I know when the parentals are getting back and we can get together and do something?' Sam said she got out of the car when they stopped at the end of her road

`Sure, but mom has a bunch of functions coming up, I'm gonna have to show my face tomorrow night. She's going away for some of them though, so after tomorrow, I'm all yours'

`Ok. I'll call you' Sam, leaned into the car and kissed Nicole, before turning and heading toward the house, and watching the car disappear around the corner.

Sam walked through the door to the palace, and she felt along the wall for the light switch

<< I can hear music>> Sam thought << that's my Chicane CD >>

As she flicked the light on and blinked in the sudden brightness she saw Brooke sitting on the sofa, in baggy grey jogging bottoms and a crumpled shirt. An empty wine bottle sat on the coffee table next to her, along with a half empty glass. As Sam looked at Brooke's face she could see she had been crying, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen.

`Brooke?' Sam asked, concerned `are you ok?'

Brooke didn't answer immediately, but waved a book at Sam `Jude the Obscure. It's her favorite book' she put it down on the coffee table and stood up, pacing back and forth, as Sam walked towards the breakfast bar and put her keys down

`I knew this music was familiar, it's Chicane. She plays it in the car all the time, and they play it at that coffee shop'

`What are you talking about, Brooke?'

`Don't insult my intelligence, Samantha' Brooke stood still and stared at her housemate

Sam looked nervous and thrust her hands in her jeans pockets to stop herself fidgeting

`I finally got sick of sitting home, alone, and finally got up the nerve to go out, as it were' she laughed mirthlessly `I went to the group at the coffee shop, the one by the bookstore'She paused, her voice ice cold `I saw you'

Sam said nothing, her mind reeling

`I saw you kiss her. How could I have been so bloody stupid? How could I not have seen what was going on? How long has it been going on? How long have you been seeing her?' Brooke shouted, almost hysterical

`Two months' Sam mumbled, with no idea where this conversation was going, or why Brooke was so angry

`Did she ask you to keep it quiet?'

`What has it got to do with you?' Sam snapped back

`My God, she didn't tell you, did she?'

`Tell me what?'

`That bitch' Brooke spat emphatically as she sank back onto the sofa and drained the last of her wine

`Brooke, what the fuck are you talking about? Sam shouted, having had enough of the accusations and cryptic comments

`The argument, when we stopped speaking? She never told you why?'

`She said it wasn't her place'

Brooke sagged, deflated `at least she had some sliver of honor'

`Are you gonna tell me what this is about?' Sam said as she kicked off her shoes and sat on the edge of the sofa next to Brooke

`That night, when I was meant to be staying at her house'

`Nicole's?'

Brooke winced as Sam finally said her name out loud

`Yes. I went over there, because I wanted to talk to her, I had to talk to someone' Brooke ran her hands through her already disheveled hair and took a deep breath `Before you moved in here, I realized I was gay. And then when we argued, it made me see this side to you, this passion, and I realized that I was attracted to you. Then you moved in and I saw you all the time, I realized I loved you, and it made me fight with you more, to see that passion, the passion I thought I'd never have, because you started seeing that George guy and I figured you'd never be interested in me. So I hid it and never told anyone, until it finally got too much to keep to myself, so I told Nicole'

Sam sat back on the sofa, stunned, with no idea what to say to the news that the woman she had been ogling for months, before she started to date Nicole, was gay too.

`And she just laughed. She said I'd never have the courage to do anything about it, and she was right. She said if I didn't, she would. I had no idea what she was talking about, until she told me she was gay too, and had been going to this social group. She said she was attracted to you too and if I didn't have the nerve to do anything about it then she wouldn't let it stop her. I never thought she would, I thought she was taunting me so we ended up screaming at each other and I left and haven't spoken to her since. I thought she'd tell everyone, she's always wanted to topple me and be the Queen of popularity' Brooke pulled a face and gestured mockingly.

`I never thought she meant it, that she was attracted to, and I never thought you'd be interested. So I started avoiding you, hoping I could get over you, and I stayed away from Nicole. I thought she was taunting me because she was homophobic. And she wasn't at all….' Brooke's voice trailed off as she buried her face in her hands

`Did she ask you to keep it quiet? Or was that your idea?' Brooke asked, turning to face Sam

`Well, she asked me but…'

`She didn't want me to know that I did stand a chance' Brooke interrupted `Did I? Before you started seeing her?' Brooke asked, her eyes pleading

`Oh, Brooke' Sam said as she lent forward and wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her to her

`Do you love her?' Brooke's voice was muffled by Sam's shoulder

`I don't know' Sam said softly, her mind spinning

<< This whole thing couldn't have been some great plot to get Brooke to admit she was gay and ruin her image>> Sam thought desperately, her mind racing << why would she want to keep it quiet, why not tell Brooke if that's what this is about?>>

Sam shook her head to try and clear her confusion as she stroked Brooke's hair, making soothing noises as the blonde cried, great wracking sobs at finally being able to let it all go, having held it all inside for so long

Brooke pulled away from Sam's embrace and stared at the brunette with tear filled eyes, she lent forward and brought her lips to Sam's, hesitantly at first, and as a confused Sam responded, letting her desire for her housemate, and months of pent–up passion pour into the kiss.

Before Sam realized what was happening, Brooke was pulling her off the sofa and up the stairs, into Brooke's bedroom.

Brooke pulled her top off over her head, revealing the naked skin underneath, followed by her jogging bottoms, standing totally naked in front of Sam, desire darkening her eyes. She took a step towards Sam and grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling Sam towards her and crushing her lips to her own.

Brooke grabbed Sam's shirt and with one swift movement pulled it over her head, and dropped it on the floor, the buttons still done up. Brooke bent to kiss Sam's neck, tracing her tongue along the exposed skin along her collarbone, as her hands slid round and undid Sam's bra, her touch setting Sam's skin on fire, as she bent to kiss Sam's breasts, her tongue grazing her nipples.

Sam moaned and buried her hands in Brooke's hair, deepening the caress. Brooke's hands slid over Sam's stomach as she grabbed the top of Sam's jeans and pulled forcefully, the buttons unsnapping as she slid her fingers between the denim and Sam's skin, easing her jeans and panties off in one go. She pushed her weight gently against Sam and the two of them fell onto the bed, tangled together as Brooke's hands continued to explore Sam's body, followed by her tongue.

Sam responded feverishly, her hands caressing Brooke's skin and her nails digging into Brooke's back as she kissed her passionately. Brooke's hand traveled down Sam's toned stomach as she tangled her fingers in the hair at the juncture of Sam's legs. Her fingers sliding inside, gasping at the wetness she found there. Sam moaned and bucked against Brooke's hand. Brooke's movements increased and Sam cried out as she came, her whole body shuddering against Brooke's as the tremors subsided.

Sam gasped for breath as she pushed Brooke's shoulders and used her weight to reverse their positions, straddling the blonde and rubbing her self against her. She slid her hand between them, rubbing the palm of her hand against Brooke's mound, before sliding her fingers inside and pressing against Brooke's clit. Brooke gasped and kissed Sam's shoulder, her teeth bared and met skin as her body bucked and shuddered with her release.

Sam eased them onto their sides so they were facing each other, as Brooke nestled her head against Sam's shoulder. They lay wordlessly curled up in each other's arms for a while, before the wine and emotion of the evening took their toll on Brooke, who fell into a peaceful and exhausted sleep, a contented smile on her face, holding Sam tight in her arms.

Sam rolled over so she was lying on her back, Brooke's head still on her shoulder, as she stared at the ceiling.

<< Oh my God, what have I done?>>

Ten

Sam barely slept at all, and was awake long before an exhausted Brooke. Sam slipped out of bed without disturbing her sleeping housemate and pulled her jeans back on, followed by her bra and still buttoned shirt, trying not to make any noise and wake Brooke. She picked up her socks and eased the door open, moving stealthily into the bathroom, where she hastily brushed her teeth and hair. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and pulled a disgusted face at herself.

She crept down the stairs and retrieved her trainers from where she had kicked them off when she had come in the night before. She pulled them on and grabbed her keys from the breakfast bar. Easing the front door open she let herself out, sliding the door closed silently behind her. Sam let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding and hurried down the path.

<< What the fuck do I do now?>>

Sam walked aimlessly for hours, thinking about what Brooke had said, what they had done and what she had with Nicole as she tried to sort out the whole confusing mess swirling round in her head.

Before she realized it, she had spent the whole day lost in thought. She had spend most of the afternoon drinking coffee and staring out of the window of a cheap café, as far away as possible from where anyone would find her.

As dusk started to fall Sam realized she couldn't face going home and seeing Brooke. She dropped some money on the table and walked out of the café, heading for Lily's house.

She knocked on the door and was glad to find her friend at home

`Is it ok if I crash here tonight?'

`Sure, Sam Come on in. you and Brooke had an argument?'

`I really don't want to talk about it, Lil. I'm sorry'

`Oh. Ok.' Lily shrugged, perplexed at her friend's attitude `I've been at a protest all day, so I was gonna crash early. You don't mind?'

`No, it's fine. Thanks' Sam smiled at her friend

Between them they made up the couch in the living room, Sam barely saying a word and Lily having no idea of how to draw her obviously troubled friend out about what was bothering her

When Lily had gone to bed, Sam flopped on the couch still fully dressed and stared at the ceiling. After several hours Sam realized she wasn't going to be able to sleep and started to pace, deep in thought.

<< What the hell have I done? What am I going to do now?>>>

By the time dawn started to creep into the house Sam had made a decision. Lily appeared from her room not long afterwards, still in her pajamas, yawning loudly as she stretched.

`Morning'

`Morning Lil. Look, thanks for last night'

`No problem. Coffee?'

`Please'

`You wanna tell me about it?

`Thanks, but I can't, not yet'

Sam sat on the sofa facing her friend as she sipped her coffee. Lily thought that Sam looked liked she hadn't slept at all and judging from the pacing her could hear for most of the night, it wasn't far from the truth.

Sam had deep dark smudges under her eyes, still dressed in the same jeans and shirt she had worn to school the day before, but so very much more crumpled. Her hair was dishevelled and she looked utterly miserable

`Sam, are you sure you don't want to talk about what's going on with you?'

`Thanks, Lil. I really appreciate last night, but I gotta go, there's something I really have to do'

Sam put her mug down on the coffee table and stood up. She looked exhausted and utterly defeated.

She walked slowly over to the Julian house, in the early morning light. Reaching the front door she took a deep breath and realized no matter how much she didn't want to have to do this, she really had no choice.

The butler took several minutes to answer the door. He was obviously rather surprised to have anyone call at this time of the day, but was too professional to show it.

`Yes?'

`I need to see Nicole. It's important'

The butler sneered down his nose at the state of Sam, but grudgingly stepped back to grant her entrance to the house.

Sam jogged up the stairs, stopping abruptly outside Nicole's room. Taking a deep breath she knocked softly

`Yeah' Nicole replied in an annoyed tone

Sam pushed the door open and walked into the room. Nicole was hunched over her desk, reading, dressed in faded blue jeans and a black cotton sweater, her hair still slightly damp from the shower. She turned round from her desk and smiled when she saw who had interrupted her. She rose from her chair and move towards Sam

`Well good morning…'

Her voice trailed off and she stood still as she took in the state of her girlfriend

`God, Sam you look awful, what's happened? Are you ok?' her tone was concerned, a sentiment echoed in the look on her face as she took a step towards Sam, who stepped back defensively

`Sam……' Nicole looked worried and stood still, staring at Sam

`Nicole, we need to talk…..I…I have to tell you something' Sam stared at the floor, unable to meet her girlfriend's gaze.

As she looked up, her eyes were filled with tears

`When I got home last night, Brooke was waiting for me. She saw us at the coffee shop, and she confronted me about you, about us. Then she told me what you had argued about. She didn't realize you meant it, that you really were gay, she thought you were taunting her and that you would tell everyone at school and use it to knock her off her throne as most popular person in the school'

Nicole winced at the thought that her former best friend could believe she would do something so despicable. Was she really so callous?

`She thought you were homophobic, taunting her, which is why she screamed at you. And why you argued and why she hasn't spoken to you since'

Nicole started to speak, but Sam gestured at her to let her continue

`She looked so vulnerable and she'd been drinking and the way she said those things about you'

`You believed her? You really think this was some plot to get at her and make me popular?' Nicole spat incredulously

Sam shook her head slowly and continued `She kissed me. And then, god, I don't know how it happened' Sam started at the ceiling, trying to control the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her

`We slept together' Sam finished softly and the tears fell as she looked at Nicole

Nicole stared at Sam, the look on her face of abject horror, loss and desperate disbelief

`How could you?' she breathed

Sam stood unmoving, having no answer, no words of explanation for the blonde

`You slept with her?' Nicole's words came out at a dangerously low register

Sam decided that was far worse than the shouting she had expected until she realized that was still to come

`DID I MEAN SO DAMN LITTLE TO YOU?' Nicole screamed as she turned away from Sam, tears streaming down her face

At that moment the full impact of what she had done hit Sam with such force it was as if she had been hit in the chest; she couldn't even breathe, she had no idea what to do or to say, seeing her girlfriend sobbing uncontrollably, and being unable to comfort her was tearing her up inside, but worse still was the knowledge she had done this to her. To see Nicole, who professed to be a heartless bitch, utterly broken was more than she could bear.

She turned to leave, but was stopped by words she barely caught

`Do you love her?' Nicole turned to face her as her eyes searched the brunette's face for the truth

`No' Sam said sadly as she realized she didn't, she loved the woman in front of her, the woman she had totally destroyed with one moment of recklessness and had now lost forever

`Why Sam, why?' Nicole looked at her in utter disbelief, tears streaking her face and making her once perfect make-up run in rivers down her face

Sam faced her girlfriend in silence, knowing that even saying she was sorry would only make things worse. But is there a worse than this Sam thought, I have just realized I am in love with Nicole and now it is too late.

`Just go' Nicole said, turning away from her again, burying her face in her hands as sobs shook her frame

Sam was frozen to the spot, desperately trying to think of some way of salvaging her relationship

Nicole sensed that Sam hadn't moved and spun on her heel to face her

`GET OUT GET OUT.GET.OUT' Nicole screamed at her, the fire flashing in her eyes

`Get out …..get out…. ` Her voice dropped to a whisper and trailed off as she sank onto the edge of the bed

(The present…….)

`…..So I ended up here' Sam stopped speaking and looked at Lily and Carmen `and I have no idea what to do now'

She reached over and took the tub of ice-cream out of Carmen's hand, who sat statue-like, staring at her friend and dug the spoon into the now soft dessert.

`Oh….my…god….' Lily stared at Sam, also frozen to the spot

Sam ate ice-cream silently as her friends continued to stare at her in slack jawed shock

`Ah, ok…little help here??' Sam said after several long silent minutes

Lily and Carmen were spared any response for the time being as the phone started to ring. Lily answered it on autopilot, her eyes widening as she spoke, staring at Sam

`Uh, Hi Brooke……. Yeah Sam's here……. She stayed here last night….uh, she and Carmen were gonna stay for sleepover tonight…. Um…yeah, I'll get her to call you later….she's just gone for more ice-cream….ok.Bye'

Lily placed the receiver back in the cradle and continued to stare at Sam

`What did Brooke want?' Sam asked her tone deadpan

`She was worried that you didn't come home last night'

`What the hell are you gonna do, Sam?' Carmen asked

`I think you're gonna have to go home and face the music' Lily said ` Brooke sounded kinda upset, which is understandable, you running out on her like that'

`Do you really love Nicole?' Carmen asked

`I do' Sam replied sadly `and now I've lost her and Brooke is probably never gonna speak to me again'

Eleven

What was intended to be a sleepover at Lily's had broken up after Brooke's phonecall as Sam realized that she couldn't put off seeing her any longer.

Carmen had stayed at Lily's trying to come to terms with this whole side of their friend's life they had missed, Sam having been sworn to secrecy by Nicole.

Sam walked slowly back to the palace, unsure of what she would say to Brooke, having no idea how to make it right.

Sam was surprised to find the house empty when she finally arrived. A note was waiting for her on the breakfast bar

"Meet me at the coffee shop at four pm. Don't be late. B"

Sam looked at her watch, it was only two-thirty, so she decided that she had better make herself presentable, before she went to meet Brooke.

She walked up the stairs to her room, lost in thought

<<what they hell am I gonna say to Brooke? How am I ever gonna win Nicole back?>>

Sam's mind span as she entered her room. Walking over to the desk she riffled through the CD boxes liberally scattered over desk, until she found the one she wanted and put it in the stereo, cranking up the volume as she pushed play. The opening notes of the song blared out of the speakers as she walked towards the bathroom shedding her clothes as she went. Bending down Sam scooped them up and dumped them in the linen basket and turned the shower on, stepping underneath powerful jets

As Sam stood under the shower trying to wash her confusion away the song on her stereo changed and the words drifted though the open bathroom door

I'm alone and feeling lost
If I could only have it all
Then I'd be alright

<< but I only want be with Nic….I don't love Brooke..>>>

`cause I can't see who I really am
Through all the down that I'm living in
I don't know it yet
Right before I hit the ground

Why am I losing sleep
Feeling like I do?
Why am I losing you?
And I'm feeling lost

<<<God, I do feel lost without her….I know why I'm losing you… how could I have been so stupid?>>

There's a dark cloud over me
And I can't shake it off
Make a move to save myself
Thoughts keep spinnin' through my head

<<got that right>>

Sam chuckled mirthlessly to herself as the water poured over her naked body, not helping to clear her mind.

She finally got out of the shower and wandered back into her room clad in only towel, which was quickly replaced by clean black jeans, a long-sleeved black top and black boots.

Sam glanced at her watch as she put it on and realized she still had ten minutes before she had to leave, so added black eyeliner a little too heavily, the colour matching her mood.

Taking a deep breath as she walked through the lounge minutes later, she grabbed her keys off the breakfast bar and strode purposefully through the door.

<< Well… better get this over with>> Sam thought glumly

Sam arrived at the coffee shop just before four. Opening the door, she smiled at the waitress who smiled back and waved to indicate she would be right over. Sam walked towards her and Nicole's usual corner without even thinking about it. As her brain caught up with her feet she stopped and looked up.

<< Oh. My. God. >>

Sam discovered her feet wouldn't move any further as she looked up and her eyes met Brooke's. Sitting on the adjoining sofa was Nicole, her eyes swollen from crying, despite her best efforts to hide the traces with make-up.

Sam managed to convince her feet to cooperate and she walked stiffly over the sofa and sat down facing the two blondes.

As she sat down the waitress placed a cappuccino in front of her. Sam reached over and took a large gulp as she looked back and forth between the two girls wordlessly.

`I thought it best if we met in a public place, so there wouldn't be any scenes' Brooke said calmly

She was perched on the edge of the sofa, her hands clasped so tightly on her lap her knuckles were white, the only outward sign of the tension she obviously felt

`I think we all need to talk, don't you Sam?' Brooke continued

Nicole looked like a shadow of herself as she huddled silently in the corner of the sofa. Sam looked at her as Brooke spoke and felt her chest ache at the thought of what she had done to the girl. Sam returned her gaze to her coffee as she gripped the mug and stared into the depths of it, unable to think of anything to say.

`Well say something, dammit' Brooke hissed

`What do you want me to say Brooke?' Sam asked in a reasonable tone as she dragged her eyes away from her coffee to look at her housemate

`I think you have some explaining to do, like where the hell you've been since Wednesday morning? And why you walked out without a word? I know you told Nicole what happened. I rang her when you didn't come home, before I rang Lily. That's why I've asked her here. I've already lost my best friend over this' Brooke's voice softened, her eyes shining with tears `and from your recent behaviour I guess I've lost the woman I love as well.'

Sam noticed Nicole wince

`But I would like to try and salvage something of my life out of this' Brooke stopped as tears fell silently down her face, the control she had been retaining finally gone

`I'm sorry Brooke….. I never meant for this to happen…I didn't mean to hurt you, either of you' Sam said softly, staring back at her now cold coffee, unable to face either girl

`I'm sorry Brooke, I never meant for us to stop speaking' Nicole spoke for the first time, her voice so quiet Sam barely caught her words

`But I'll never forgive for you for sleeping with Sam' her voice was tinged with the venom of the Nicole they all saw at school

Brooke looked resigned and stared at the floor as she tried to compose herself. Taking a deep breath she looked directly at Sam

`I never stood a chance, did I?' She asked gently

Sam retuned her gaze and held it before speaking

`I'm sorry Brooke'

Brooke took a deep breath and stood up

`I'll leave the two of you to work this out then' Brooke turned on her heel and walked out of the coffee shop, not letting Sam or Nicole see the tears streaming down her face.

Sam drained the remnants of her coffee and slowly placed the mug carefully back in it's saucer on the low table in front of her. She turned to face Nicole, who was staring out of the window, her chin rested in her hand, her elbow propped on the high arm of the sofa.

`Tell me again why you did it, Sam' she asked without looking at Sam

`It just happened. You and I had that argument and then I got home and Brooke was so upset. I just put my arms round her to comfort her and before I realized what had happened we were in bed together' Sam paused, and stared at her feet `I'm not saying it was all her fault. I'm saying I fucked up. You knew I was attracted to her and…well, oh god… I never meant for this to happen, Nicole' Sam's voice trailed off, her voice thick with emotion

`But what happens when the next woman comes along that you are attracted to? Is it just gonna happen with her too?' Nicole asked calmly, finally turning to face Sam

`It wasn't like that…I…. I'm in love with you' Sam admitted haltingly

`You had to sleep with your step sister to find out you loved me?' Nicole's eyebrows shot up her forehead, but her voice stayed eerily calm

`No. I knew before that..I…' Sam stopped, lost for a way to explain

`Sam. I have been in love with you for some time, but you hurt me. I trusted you, I let you in, in a way I haven't let anyone in for the longest time…even Brooke, and you betrayed me. How can I ever trust you again' Nicole spoke softly, fighting tears

`I don't want to lose you' Sam said meeting Nicole's stare

`Well, you are doing a great job trying' Nicole laughed mirthlessly

`Where do we go from here? Can't we at least try again?'

`I just don't know…... I still love you, but you hurt me so much'

`I know….I'm sorry'

Sam returned to staring at the floor, as Nicole unfolded herself from the sofa and stood up

`I need some time, Sam'

Sam looked up at Nicole, her eyes filled with tears. Nicole returned Sam's stare and several moments passed before she turned and walked wordlessly from the coffee shop.

Sam walked dejectedly back to the Palace. As she walked through the door she passed the breakfast bar and Brooke's note. She picked it up to throw it in the bin and realized it wasn't the same note, it was a folded sheet. Sam wandered absently over to the sofa and sat down, unfolding the sheet.

Sam,

I can't be here, it is too hard. I have gone to meet up with Daddy and Jane before they come home. I'm sorry it turned out this way.

Brooke

Sam read the note twice and carefully refolded it, before burying her head in her hands as sobs shook her body.

Twelve

A loud banging on the door woke Sam some time later. She sat up on the sofa disorientated at first until she realized she had cried until she had fallen into an exhausted dream-filled sleep.

Yawning and rubbing her eyes she got up and padded to the door.

`Lily' Sam said surprised

`I thought you might need to talk -you ok? Is Brooke here?'

`No, she took off to stay with the `rentals'

`didn't go well then?'

`Oh god, Lil, it was awful..she left me a note to meet her at the coffee house and Nicole was there'

`Well, you are still in one piece at least..' Lily joked weakly

`Nicole said she would never forgive Brooke and as for us..she said she needed time'

`It could be worse, she could have said she never wanted to see you again'

`but I betrayed her, Lil. And with her ex-best friend and they aren't speaking because of me'

Lily frowned, unable to think of a reply

`How can I win her back, Lil? How can I convince her it was a mistake and it will never happen again?'

`Well.. It's always gonna be difficult, since you live with Brooke'

`You're right. You are absolutely right, and that is a great idea Lil, thank you' Sam grinned for the first time in days and threw her arms round her friend in a hug

`What? What'd I say?' Lily asked bewildered

**********

Sam tugged nervously at her blouse and smoothed non-existent creases out of her skirt for the fifth time in as many minutes

`Samantha McPherson?' A woman called hesitantly, checking notes on her clipboard as she appeared out of an office doorway

`Yes. That's me' Sam said taking a deep breath and standing up

She walked towards the woman and followed her though the office door

**********

`Lil? Sam. I got it'

`Oh, Sam, I'm so pleased for you' Lily replied enthusiastically

`Well, it's only a part time job at the local paper, but it's a start'

`Hey, we should do something, you know, celebrate'

`Lil, the whole point of me taking this job is so I can afford my own place, I can't go spending it'

`Check. Cheap celebration. I'll bring vids and I'll get Carmen to bring ice-cream. How's that sound?'

`Sounds like a plan. But it'll have to be early -I have work tomorrow, I'm gonna be working full time during the holidays'

`See you in an hour then?'

`Yeah, great, see you then'

Sam sat between her friends on the sofa some time later, the three of them dressed for a major video watching session in jogging bottoms and t-shirts. None of them were watching the film flickering away on the screen in front of them

`So you're plan is to save up and move into a place of your own, so Nicole knows you are serious and staying away from Brooke' Carmen asked

`And hopefully working will take my mind off not being with Nicole'

`So, have you told your mom about this grand plan?'

`Nope. I worked it out, they're not coming back for three weeks, and by then I'll have enough for the security deposit. I checked out some places today after my interview and I've put my name down for a place. It's not fancy, but it's clean and cockroach free. I'll move before they come home and I'll tell my Mom when they get back'

`And you think they're just gonna go along with this?' Lily asked, her eyebrows arched incredulously

`It's not long before I'd be leaving for college anyway, so I'm just moving a little early. I'm gonna apply to USC anyway'

`Sounds like you've got it all sussed' Carmen said in an impressed voice `I just hope it's worth it'

`So do I. I don't want to lose her' Sam said sadly

**********

By the end of her first day at the paper Sam was exhausted. She had been introduced to everyone and there were so many people Sam was worried she would never remember everyone's name. Or how they took their coffee, since making the coffee seemed to be the main part of her job until she got to know the basics at the paper. Sam was pleased though as she was indeed kept busy and had barely had time to think about Nicole more than a few times that day. By the time she got home she barely had the energy to heat up a ready meal for dinner before she fell asleep, too tired to dream.

Before Sam had noticed three weeks had passed and she had enough money for her flat, having worked as many hours as she could get at the paper.

She hadn't heard from Nicole since their last meeting at the coffee shop and tried not to think about it too often, usually failing miserably. She frequently thought of the blonde and wondered if she still stood a chance, but didn't want to push things and call her after Nicole's request for some time to think.

Sam placed the final few items in a box as a voice interrupted her thoughts

`Is that the last one?' Carmen asked, gesturing at the box Sam was idly taping up

`Yeah. Listen, thanks Carm, I really appreciate you guys helping me'

`No problem. But you're on your own with telling your mom why you've moved out'

`Gee, thanks' Sam replied, pulling a face.

Sam nervously paced the lounge floor of the Palace several hours later as she waited for her mom, Mike and Brooke to come home.

When she heard a car door slam she jumped nervously and turned to stare at the front door.

Brooke was the first to arrive, bustling through the door, her bag slung over her shoulder

`Sam' she said in a neutral tone of voice, before heading upstairs

Mike followed her though the door, laden with bags which he took straight upstairs after hugging Sam

`Sam' Jane cried as soon as she came through the door, enveloping her daughter in a hug

`Hi Mom..um.I need to talk to you' Sam said, pulling away from the embrace

`Sam, is everything ok?' Jane asked in a worried tone

`I know you've just got back, but this is kind of important'

Jane sat silently as Sam gave her the edited highlights of her relationship with Nicole and what had happened with Brooke, her job and the fact she was no longer living at home

`I have to do this, Mom, I have to convince her I'm serious and to give it another shot' Sam finished

`Well..I . god, I have no idea what to say Sam. I can't say I'm crazy about you moving out and living on your own, you're only seventeen'

`But I'd be moving out soon to go to college anyway, and I've proved I can cope being here on my own'

Jane frowned at her daughter `You're so young to be getting involved in a serious relationship. And with Nicole, Sam. And then there's this thing with Brooke..' She trailed off

`That should never have happened. And you don't know Nicole like I do'

`I guess... This is kind of a done deal really, since you already moved into this place' Jane said, sounding unconvinced `Look, I'll drive you over there and I can have at look at the place. I'm not making any promises'

`Ok'

Sam and Jane drove in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

`Just here' Sam said pointing to the right

As they got out of the car Jane stared up at the apartment building and shook her head

`My baby, leaving home. ' she said to herself

Sam stared up at the building as well, a three storey townhouse that had been converted into studios. The outside had been recently whitewashed and the small garden at the front was neatly tended, a multitude of flowers in bloom, giving the building colour.

They climbed the stairs to the third floor, as Sam pulled a set of keys out of her pocket and moved in front of her mother to open the door.

Sam pushed the door open and walked in, followed slightly hesitantly by her mother. The flat was small, but clean and well looked after. The floor was uncarpeted, the floorboards varnished and scarred with age. Off to the left was small breakfast bar complete with two stools, the kitchen behind it. In front of the breakfast bar was a worn overstuffed sofa. In one corner stood a table and two chairs, next to which Sam had put her TV on top of an upturned packing crate. At the far end of the room was a double bed, opposite the door to the bathroom, which contained a small bath with a fixed overhead shower, a toilet and a sink.

Sam stood in the middle of the room, next to the large pile of boxes, looking lost as her mother wandered round the room opening kitchen cupboards and peering into the bathroom.

`Well, it's cosy I guess and it's clean, at least' Jane said as she finally stopped in front of her daughter and took her hands `I know I can't talk you out of this, you are too stubborn, but don't think I won't be over to keep an eye on you' she said as she enveloped her daughter in a hug

`Thanks Mom'

`And don't think we won't be talking about this again, this is just a trial as you still have to deal with school as well as your job. Since your first month's rent must already be paid we'll talk about it at the end of the month and see how it's going'

Jane frowned at her daughter, before hugging her again `Leaving home already' Jane was still shaking her head as she left.

Sam surveyed her new home and started to unpack, as she opened a box there was a knock on the door. Figuring her mother must have forgotten something she opened the door and was surprised to see Nicole standing in the door way. She was dressed simply, in black jeans and a white sweater and was holding a picnic basket

`I figured you wouldn't have the energy to cook' she said as she hefted the basket towards Sam

Sam stepped back to let the blonde in, too surprised to say anything

`Well this is ...cosy' Nicole said as she looked around her

`It's clean and cheap' Sam said, recovering her voice

`It's nice' Nicole said turning to face Sam and smiling `I saw Lily at the mall and she said you were moving out' she replied to Sam's unasked question

`I had to prove to you I was serious'

`I know...but what if it wasn't just Brooke? She's not going to be the only woman you are ever attracted to'

`It was a mistake, Nicole, you have to believe me, it's you I'm in love with'

`One step at a time, Sam, let just start with dinner' Nicole said as she placed the basket on the table `It's just sandwiches'

`Did you make the bread?'

`Yes' Nicole said softly, her gaze meeting Sam's

Sam stepped forward and closed the gap between them, bringing her hand up to Nicole's cheek

`I missed you so much' she whispered as she bent to capture Nicole's lips in a gentle kiss

Nicole stepped back and turned away `One step at a time, Sam'

`I..I'm sorry'

`God I hate this..I missed you too' Nicole said as she turned back to face Sam

She stepped forward again and stared into Sam's eyes before bringing her lips gently to Sam's. The kiss was brief, but filled with emotion on both sides. Nicole pulled away first and moved towards the table, starting to unpack the basket.

Sam pulled out a chair, sat at the table and picked up a sandwich, as Nicole sat down opposite her.

`This is good' Sam said waving her sandwich at Nicole

`Thanks. So. tell me how you are affording this place?'

`I got a job at the local paper, nothing terribly glamorous, though. I make the coffee and answer the phones and type up the copy for the classified ads. It's good experience though and it pays the bills'

`Your Mom doesn't mind that you moved out?'

`She isn't convinced, but she said we could try it for a month and see how I'm getting on, with school and everything'

`Better not get yourself thrown in detention again then' Nicole joked, smiling at Sam

`Yeah. don't wanna be late for work'

`Looks like we won't be meeting at the coffee shop any more, when school starts'

`No, but you can come up here and I can cook you dinner, if you'd like?'

`Hmm. pasta a la McPherson every night...well, it'll help me keep my perfect figure' Nicole laughed

`I can make more than pasta' Sam replied in a hurt tone `Ok, not much, actually' she admitted

`I'm just gonna have to teach you then, can't have you starving in your new bijou residence' Nicole said, gesturing at the room

Sam grinned

`One step at a time though, Sam. Trust still has to be earned' Nicole said, sobering

`I know. But as long as you are willing to give me another chance, I won't let you down. I love you'

`I love you too, Sam and I know you are trying'

Nicole stood up and started packing the empty sandwich wrappers and drinks bottles back into the basket

`Are you working tomorrow?'

`No I have couple of days off to unpack'

`I'll come by tomorrow if you like and we can see about those cookery lessons'

Sam walked Nicole slowly to the door and opened it. Before she left, Nicole turned to face Sam

`I want this to work too, you know' she said and kissed Sam briefly before heading down the stairs

As Sam closed the door, she realized she was smiling

**********

Sam was up early the next morning, and had unpacked most of her stuff, but was still wandering round slightly lost trying to find homes for everything when there was a knock at the door.

Sam put down the box she was flattening and brushed her hands off on her untucked shirt before opening the door

`Good morning' an unseen voice said, the owner hidden behind two large brown grocery bags

`Good morning to you too' Sam said as she took one of the bags from her girlfriend, a huge grin on her face

Sam followed Nicole into the kitchen and dumped the bag on the breakfast bar, next to Nicole's

`I didn't think you'd have had time to go shopping, so I took the liberty and since I'm going to teach you to cook, I figured there was some things you'd need' Nicole unpacked the bags as she spoke, now make yourself useful and make me coffee, I need it at this ungodly hour'

Sam started to splutter about not having any coffee, but was stalled by her girlfriend handing her two jars

`I thought I'd better get a jar of de-caff as well, if I'm going to come and see you. And I bet the other de-caff fiend in your life will be grateful as I bet she's here almost as often as I am'

`Mom hasn't been over today, yet' Sam said grinning, as she bent to kiss Nicole `thank you for this'

`Don't get any ideas about me being your personal shopper, though' Nicole scolded playfully as she turned to face Sam

Sam stepped towards Nicole and held her arms out for a hug `May I?'

Nicole stepped willingly into the embrace and moaned softly as Sam wrapped her arms around the smaller blonde.

They were still holding each other several minutes later when there was another knock on the door. The door was pushed cautiously open and Carmen's head appeared round it

`Not interrupting anything, are we?' Carmen said, grinning and wiggling her eyebrows, before she was pushed forcibly into the room by Lily, closely followed by Jane, all three of them stopped dead as Sam and Nicole slowly pulled apart

`Uh. guess so' Lily said slowly

`Hi guys' Sam said smiling `come on in, we were just making coffee'

`Uh-huh, that's so what it looked like' Jane mumbled, blushing and staring at the floor

`I just got here, I thought Sam would need some groceries' Nicole said calmly, trying not to look embarrassed `Ms McPherson, I believe you take de-caff too. I made sure Sam was well stocked up' Nicole handed Jane a steaming mug

Jane smiled, surprised at the thoughtful gesture `Thank you Nicole'

Nicole retuned the smile and placed two more mugs on the breakfast bar `I presume you two drink the same liquid tar Sam likes'

`Thanks' Lily and Carmen said uncertainly as they took the mugs of coffee and staked out either corner of the sofa

`It's gonna be nice, when you're all unpacked' Lily said looking round the room

`Look I'm going to teach Sam to cook, so that she doesn't starve up here, why don't you all come over to dinner later in the week?' Nicole said

Four pairs of startled eyes turned to face Nicole

`That sounds lovely' Jane said, breaking the silence

`Yeah, but bring chairs' Sam said laughing as she draped an arm round Nicole's shoulder, her voice dropped to whisper as she leaned over to Nicole `don't think you aren't staying to help with the dishes'

Sam smiled at her friends and her mother as the smile slowly slid from Nicole's face.

Thirteen

THANKS: Due to Alan for reading and advising - much appreciated! And to EVERYONE who emailed me, online and off for all their lovley FB. THANK YOU!!

~~~~~

After Sam's visitors had left, Nicole stayed to help Sam finish unpacking.

`What was that?' Sam said turning to stare at Nicole as she closed the door

`I thought you wanted your friend's to know about us? I thought it would be a good way for them to get to know us, together. You're right, we shouldn't hide it from everyone and this way everyone finds out at once'

Sam stared at Nicole, a look of shock on her face `You mean you're going to tell your friends as well, after their reaction to going to a gay coffee house?'

`Yes. Sam you've done all this to prove how much you love me, I think it's time I did something to show you, and then maybe all this won't happen again. The world will know you're mine'

`I'm yours?' Sam grinned, moving towards Nicole

`Yes. I don't want to lose you Sam, I hate the thought that my fear of being unpopular helped push you into Brooke's bed' Nicole winced at her words, but she stepped closer to Sam and draped her arms round Sam's waist `Anyway, don't worry I won't be letting you face Mary Cherry on your own'

`But in my house….' Sam complained, before Nicole stopped her protests with a kiss.

Sam went back to work the next day, after agreeing to leave the arrangements for dinner to Nicole, who had set the date for their dinner party for the Friday night, before they all went back to school on the Monday.

When she got home from work Sam found Nicole sitting at the top of her stairs waiting for her.

`You're waiting for me?' Sam asked, sounding touched

Yeah, I didn't know what time you finished'

`Well, you won't have to wait out here for me in future' Sam pulled a key ring from her pocket, with two keys hanging from it and dangled it in front of Nicole `I got you keys cut at lunchtime'

`Oh Sam' Nicole took the keys from her girlfriend and hugged her 'you don't mind?'

`Well, you'll need to let yourself in for this mamouth cook-a-thon on Friday anyway' Sam replied rolling her eyes theatrically

`Are you still getting off work early?' Nicole asked as she used her new keys to open the door and let them both in

`yeah, I checked it was ok today, so I will be here to peel potatoes and, oh god, do housework' Sam wrinkled her nose in distaste as Nicole tuned to face her

`I will help you cook, but you are on your own with the cleaning' she deadpanned

Sam laughed as they walked into the flat and Nicole headed into the kitchen and started opening cupboards and getting things together to start their dinner

`I'm gonna grab a shower, you don't mind cooking?' Sam said as she took her black suit jacket off

`No, I haven't done much all day, so it's nice to be useful' she smiled at Sam

Sam reappeared several minutes later, her black trouser suit replaced by baggy black jogging bottoms and a wrinkled grey t-shirt as she finished toweling her hair and stuck the damp towel in the washing machine.

`Smells good' she said as she slid onto the stool on the other side of the breakfast bar from where Nicole was slowly stirring a pan full of sauce

`You should be making this' Nicole said pointing to the pot `Mushroom stroganoff and pasta'

Sam stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend

`Promise, promises' Nicole mumbled as she blushed and turned her attention back to dinner

They chatted easily as they ate, the awkwardness of Nicole's first few visits to Sam's flat all but gone, Sam telling Nicole about her day and making her laugh with descriptions of her co-workers and Nicole telling Sam about the things she did with her day.

`I am so jealous, you spent all day reading?'

`It was good book' Nicole looked uncomfortable

`Well, what's time off for, if not to chill out?'

Nicole was silent, as she stared at her plate

`Hey, it's ok `Sam said as she placed her hand gently over Nicole's `Working at the paper will look great on my college application and I enjoy it. Anyway, it's worth it to have this'

`Are you sure?' Nicole looked sadly at Sam

`Absolutely, this was my choice Nicole' Sam smiled at Nicole and brought her hand up, kissing the palm gently

`come on, I'll help you with the dishes before I go' Nicole said gently pulling her hand away and picking up their plates as she stood up

`You could stay' Sam said rising from her chair and meeting Nicole's gaze

`I know… but not yet, Sam'

`I know' Sam took the plates from her girlfriend and put them back on the table before wrapping her arms around Nicole and kissing her gently on the forehead `I know'

Sam continued to work for the rest of the week, Nicole meeting her at the flat in the evenings, until the day of the party dawned. Nicole was waiting in her car in the parking lot outside the paper office when Sam left at lunch time. Climbing into the passenger seat, she lent over and kissed Nicole before they drove off to the market to pick up supplies for the party.

`How was your day?' Nicole asked as they wandered round the market, Sam pushing the trolley as Nicole filled it with ingredients

`Busy, fortunately, it stopped me from thinking about tonight. I am so nervous'

`Me too' Nicole replied turning to face Sam and smiling

They staggered through the door of the flat a short while later, dumping the bags on the breakfast bar, Sam wandered over to the stereo and put a rock CD on, as Nicole started to empty bags.

Sam played air guitar on the vacuum cleaner in time to the music as she rushed round cleaning the flat, while Nicole started on the evening's meal.

Sam re-appeared from the bathroom some time later, flushed and perspiring, bouncing into the kitchen to see if she was needed with the dinner preparations.

`Ew.. go take a shower before you come anywhere near me or this kitchen' Nicole said as she backed away from a rapidly approaching Sam

`Ok, ok… I'm going' Sam said, throwing her hands up in a gesture of surrender

Nicole chuckled as she listened to Sam singing along to the rock music still blaring out of stereo as she showered.

Sam wandered back into the lounge a short time later and stretched her arms expansively as she stood on the other side of the breakfast bar from Nicole

`Better?'

`Why do you always dress like you are going to a funeral?' Nicole said as she took in Sam's outfit of black jeans and a tight black long sleeved Lycra top, her eyes accentuated with black eyeliner

`What ? Don't you think it's kind of appropriate? And anyway I wanted to wear something I felt comfortable in' Sam said as she looked down at her outfit

`Ok, so black suits you' Nicole said as she raked her gaze up and down Sam's attire and grinned at her girlfriend mischievously, before turning her attention back to the cooker

`What can I do?' Sam asked as she walked round to the kitchen and wrapped her arms round her girlfriend from behind

`You can start by stop distracting me' Nicole replied turning in Sam's arms and kissing her `You can shred some lettuce and basil and chop some tomatoes for the salad' Nicole gestured to the worktop with knife she was holding, pointing out the pile of salad ingredients stacked up next to a large bowl

Sam reluctantly let her girlfriend go with a final kiss, moving to the salad and opening bags of leaves.

They worked in a companionable silence for some time, before Nicole left Sam with explicit instructions on what to do while she went in the shower.

Sam looked up from stirring sauce as Nicole came back out of the bathroom a short while later

`You look amazing' Sam said in an awed voice

`Why, thank you' Nicole said and smiled as she walked slowly toward the kitchen

Sam watched her every step, her jaw almost hitting the floor. Nicole was dressed in a plain spaghetti-strapped silver dress, that clung to every curve of her body and stopped just above her knees.

As Nicole approached Sam she draped her arms around the stunned brunette's neck and pressed her body close to Sam's, moving in time to the slower music now coming from the stereo. Sam bent and captured Nicole's lips in a fierce, passionate kiss.

Sam groaned as their embrace was interrupted by a knock at the door

`Who can that be?'

`Whoever it is they're early' Sam said, over her shoulder, as she went to open the door

`Brooke' Sam said shocked as she opened the door `Come in'

`I know I'm a little early, but I wanted to talk to you, before anyone else got here'

`Like me, you mean' Nicole spat as she walked round the breakfast bar and stood next to Sam, her arms folded

`Actually, I was hoping you were already here, I wanted to talk to you both'

Nicole didn't reply, but arched one eyebrow

`Come in Brooke and have seat' Sam said

Nicole reluctantly moved out of Brooke's way and went back to the kitchen, as Brooke moved to the sofa and perched on the edge of the cushions

`I'm glad you two have made things up' Brooke started uncertainly

Nicole snorted derisorily, but didn't say anything

`Really, I only wanted you to be happy, Sam' Brooke continued `I just wanted to find out if we could all try and be friends. I know a lot has happened, but I hoped we could try and put it behind us. I miss you both…. Nic, you were my best friend' Brooke looked up at Nicole as she came out of the kitchen

`And you slept with my girlfriend` Nicole stated flatly as she pulled a chair out from under the table and sat down facing Brooke. She took a deep breath and continued in a softer tone of voice 'I miss you, too Brooke. We should never have argued. I'm sorry you thought I was taunting you when you told me you were gay. But what happened, happened. I told Sam it would take time before I could trust her again as well and….well, I need time Brooke. What you did hurt'

Brooke was surprised by her friend's words, sure she would have been shot down in flames for the mere suggestion that they could still be friends

`I know, but it's a start that you would consider it. Thank you'

`Now stop cluttering the place, we have a party to prepare for' Nicole joked as she stood up and put the chair away, turning back to Sam, who had taken cover in the kitchen, and smiled at her

`Can I do anything to help?' Brooke asked as she stood as well

`Yes, please rescue my salad from Sam, I have my work cut out teaching that girl to cook'

Sam stuck her tongue out at Nicole, who was too distracted to respond as the door burst open and Mary Cherry crashed through it

`Oh mah Gawd, ain't this the cutest? Uh…Where's the rest of it?' Mary Cherry said as she stood in the middle of the room and looked around her `I brought ya'all a housewarming gift'

She waved two large bright pink fluffy towels embroidered with `Hers' and `Hers' in huge pale blue letters

Sam tried desperately not to laugh as she lent against Nicole `I take it you told her'

`She was surprisingly ok about it, although she did say that dungarees were never going to be fashionable' Nicole replied, also stifling a bad case of the giggles

Both girls were spared any further words of wisdom from the Texan as the rest of their friends arrived, followed by Jane and Mike

`We've brought chairs' Carmen said as she staggered into the lounge with three folding wooden chairs.

Sugar Daddy didn't seem to be struggling at all with the three chairs he had rested on his shoulder, one arm wrapped round them. He looked around nervously `where d'you want `em?'

`Anywhere's fine for now Shug' Sam said, helping him open them out

Nicole was busy covering the small table with dishes, as everyone took a look around and settled themselves on the various mismatched chairs. Brooke huddled up in the corner of the sofa, with Lily and Carmen squeezed in beside her. Josh was sitting as close as he could possibly get to the table and was helping himself to chips and dip. Mike and Jane sat on the other side of the table, Mike looked nervous as he sat next to Mary Cherry, who was wrapped in a large fake pink fur coat.

Sam hovered nervously next to the breakfast bar. Nicole joined her once she had filled the table with so much food it was starting to bow in the middle.

Nicole picked up a try of paper cups filled with Champagne and handed them round.

`Um..I'd like to thank you all for coming' Sam started nervously `Tonight isn't just a housewarming for my new flat, but it's also to celebrate mine and Nicole's three month anniversary' Sam stopped and looked nervously round at the faces of her friends

Josh looked up from the dish of chips he was demolishing and stared at the two girls before shrugging and returning to the food.

`Congratulations' Sugar Daddy said and raised his cup in a toast, smiling broadly

`Congratulations' everyone else echoed and Sam let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding

`Let's eat' Nicole said

The evening passed uneventfully, with Nicole and Sam chatting to all of their friends and actually managing to enjoy themselves now everyone knew about them.

Nicole was highly amused at the number of comments on the food and the fact that Sam couldn't possibly have cooked it as it wasn't just a big bowl of pasta.

Lily and Carmen cornered Sam towards the end of the evening as she was making coffees for everyone.

`So.. three months… your plan worked then?' Lily asked excitedly

`Yeah' Sam smiled `Nicole hasn't completely gotten over it, but at least she is giving it another go'

`I see Brooke is here too, so Nicole hasn't killed her either' Carmen said nodding towards the blonde

`Yeah, she came over earlier and they talked. They might get over it yet'

`I'm so pleased for you` Lily said as she hugged her friend

`Thanks guys'

Mike and Jane were the first to leave, after Jane had taken the opportunity to talk to Nicole and try and see the side of the girl her daughter saw. As Jane left she wrapped her Sam in a big hug and whispered in her ear

`You take care of her this time Sam, she really cares for you'

`I know, mom' Sam smiled

Not long after Mike and Jane left, everyone else took it as their cue to follow, with lots of comments of `see you at school Monday' as they left until Sam and Nicole were left alone in the flat.

`you're not working tomorrow, right?' Nicole asked, surveying the stack of dishes piled up in the kitchen

`No, thank god, I'm shattered' Sam replied

`Good. Can we leave the dishes till the morning?'

Sam turned to look at her girlfriend `We?'

`You don't mind, do you?' Nicole said, as she wrapped her arms around Sam's neck

`What dishes' Sam smiled as Nicole brought their lips together and kissed Sam softly, tugging gently at her bottom lip with her teeth

Sam retuned the kiss, resting her hands on Nicole's hips. The kiss deepened as Nicole buried her hands in Sam's hair. Nicole slid her hands slowly under Sam's top, and eased it over her head, pushing her backwards toward the bed. Sam shivered at the touch, running her hands slowly up Nicole's back and over her bare shoulders. She paused as she hooked her fingers under the straps of Nicole's dress

`Are you sure?' Sam asked softly

Nicole didn't reply verbally, but crushed her lips against Sam's, her tongue exploring Sam's mouth as she tugged at the button on Sam's jeans and slowly slid the zip down. Sam slid the straps of Nicole's dress off her shoulders and bent to cover the naked skin with butterfly kisses, moving slowly up the blonde's neck as Nicole gasped at the touch.

Nicole slid her hands between the denim of Sam's jeans and her skin, slowly easing them down over her thighs, as Sam brought her hands up under the bottom of Nicole's dress and gently tugged it over her head, pulling the blonde to her. A sheen of perspiration covered them both as their desire for each other rose at the contact of skin on skin.

Sam hooked one arm under Nicole's legs and the other under her neck and picked her up, turning to lay her gently on the bed, before shedding her underwear and laying down next to her, the length of their bodies touching as Sam slowly traced her fingertips over every millimeter of Nicole's naked skin, removing her panties as she went. Nicole moaned softly at the caresses, but enjoying the touch too much to hurry her lover.

Sam followed her fingertip's patterns across Nicole's naked body with her lips, gently kissing and nibbling her exposed skin, before bringing her lips up to meet Nicole's and kissing her deeply and passionately. Sam slid her hand slowly over Nicole's toned stomach and slowly eased one finger inside her, exploring her most intimate of places, making Nicole buck and grind against her hand. Sam continued to caress her slowly before gradually speeding up her movements.

`Oh, Sam' Nicole breathed as her whole body shuddered and she pulled Sam to her, holding her tight as her breathing gradually slowed

`I love you' Sam whispered as she kissed Nicole and returned her tight embrace

Sam felt the wetness on her shoulder and pulled away slightly, frowning as she stared into her lover's eyes which were filled with tears

`Oh God, Nicole, what's wrong?'

`I…I've missed you so much Sam… I don't want to ever be without you'

`Shh… it's ok …I'm never going anywhere, I promise' Sam said as gently wiped Nicole's tears away and kissed her softly

Sam was aware that their kisses had slowly deepened, and become more passionate, Nicole's desire for her evident from the hands slowly roaming across her back, as they remained in their embrace.

Nicole gently pushed Sam onto her back and kissed across her cheek and down her neck, her kisses slowly trailing down her chest and over her breast until she reached her nipple, circling it with her tongue and teasing it to attention with her teeth. Nicole's kisses continued across to the other breast where she proceeded to do the same as Sam moaned and arched her back into the caress.

Nicole`s lips gradually traveled down Sam's stomach and down one thigh, tracing their way back up the other and up Sam's torso until she reached her lips again, kissing her slowly and fervently, as her hands continued to roam across Sam's body. She slid her hand between Sam's legs and continued her caresses, slowly entering her and eliciting a gasp from Sam. Nicole moved her hand achingly slowly as Sam moved against her. Unhurriedly she increased the pressure of her caress until Sam's whole body trembled beneath her and she cried out.

They lay tangled in each other's arms, kissing each other languidly

`I love you, Nicole` Sam whispered

`And I love you Sam' Nicole replied kissing Sam and resting her head on her lover's shoulder and they drifted off to sleep, tangled together and still smiling.

The End …..?

Lou

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