Series: Forever

Title: Saying Goodbye

Author: LLE

Email: saturnchild@hotmail.com

Pairing: S/B

Rating: PG-13 - R

Author's Notes: New series, funny how I seem to be able to work up new stories, but not finish the previous ones. Also, It's never mentioned who the "I" is in this part of the story, so feel free to make a guess. I'd like to know if I can actually portray the character correctly. ::grins::

How many times have you dreamt of eternal youth, or heard someone wish for that very thing? It is not an uncommon thing to wish upon yourself or those you love, but it is an impossibility.

At least that is what I believed.

Then again, I never believed in vampires either. And I certainly never expected them to be the way they truly are.

When I was a human, everyone believed vampires to be like the ones we watched on television. There was a show called “Buffy; the Vampire Slayer”, and the vampires portrayed there were, with the exception of the Slayer’s vampire boyfriend, all interested in nothing but taking over the world and swimming in the blood of humans.

Talk about a major misconception.

Believe it or not, vampires are not interested in killing all of the humans in the world. For one, we need them to survive. But more than needing them for food, we need them to be our allies as well. Do you honestly think that we could have lasted this long without having human help in one way or another? Then think again.

I was a vampire ally myself for two years. Usually they take longer than that to decide whether they need you to be turned or not, but not in my case. I guess I impressed them.

What is an ally, you ask?

That is actually fairly simple to explain. An ally is a human, but one that knows that vampires exist. They help us with different things whenever they can. They look for new places for us to stay during the daytime when we cannot go ourselves, they keep an eye out for the hell-beasts that show up once in a while, and they let us know about the evil humans that have no business being on this planet in the first place.

Basically, allies are our eyes and ears during daylight, when we can do little but stay inside ourselves.

And what we do if we hear of an evil human?

Well, what do you think? If he is a lost cause, we kill him. If we believe something can be done, we turn him and keep an eye on him. Should he turn out to be just as bad as we were told, we kill him for good.

Sounds cold, does it not? I suppose it is, in some ways. But in my opinion, it is better to get rid of the evil humans before they do any permanent damage. We have plenty of evil to fight when it comes to demons and hell-beasts, thank you very much.

Did you know that there are four kinds of humans? I am not talking in terms of genealogy, mind you, skin color and genetical inheritance has nothing do with how humans turn out.

Too bad, that would make our lives much easier.

Right, four kinds: Good, Evil, Stupid and Ignorant, or G, E, S and I, for short.

G’s are the best kind, obviously, but also the rarest kind.

E’s are bad news, all the way. They are constantly a threat not only to our society, but to their own as well. If they find out that we exist, they come after us with all they have, and that usually means at least ten losses on our side, and a whole lot of dead humans to get rid of to avoid suspicion.

S’s are kind of an in-between between the G’s and the E’s. If educated, they can become G’s, and if not, we just have more humans to fight. They are not evil, just uneducated.

I’s are, in my eyes, the worst kind. They are not bad because they do not know any better. They are bad because they could care less.

Only G’s and E’s may be turned, by the way.

I was only 17 years old when Rhiannon, the vampire I reported to, came up to me and asked me if I wanted to be turned. She came to my window just after sunset, and I left with her. We spent the entire night discussing it. I was unsure, and Rhian understood it. She went through it herself 500 years prior, so she knew it was not an easy decision to make, especially for someone as young as I was then.

I will always be grateful to my Sire for explaining exactly what it would mean for me if I were to be turned. In the eyes of my human family, I would have to die. I could not tell them of my new un-life, since the world would go crazy if the majority of humans learned that vampires are not just beings from an Anne Rice novel.

No contact with my friends or my family, and no more walking in the sunshine.

In return, I would get eternal life, superhuman strength and possibly magical powers as well, depending on whether or not I had a natural gift for it.

I spent two months thinking about it.

I think the hardest part was saying goodnight to my mother the day after I had accepted Rhian’s offer. I knew that she would come to me that night, and that she would turn me in my own bed. That was how we had planned it. I knew that my mother would find my lifeless body the following morning, and that she would be devastated.

I stayed awake until they had all gone to sleep. Rhian would not be coming for a few hours yet, and I spent that time saying my silent goodbyes to my family. To this day, I still have no idea how long I stood over the crib, just watching my baby sister sleep.

Mackenzie would be the lucky one. Because of her young age, she would not have enough memories of me to feel any loss. I do not remember whether that fact mate me grateful or envious of her.

I did not spend too much time in the parentals’ room. It was not because I did not love them. Quite the contrary, actually. I loved them both dearly, even though I was only related by blood to one of them.

I just had to spend as much time as possible with her.

She would be the hardest one to leave, I knew that. I also knew that I couldn’t leave her completely. Thankfully, a tree in the back yard would provide me with a decent enough view of her bedroom. At least I could watch her sleep from time to time.

Rhian found me kneeling by her bed when she arrived. I had left my bedroom window open for her, and since I had invited her in before, entrance hadn’t been a problem.

I remember the concern in her eyes as she silently walked up to me. She knows how I felt about her, and how my turning would prevent me from ever being with her again.

She may have loved me the same way, but what good would it have done once I became an immortal? She would age, I would not. She would die, I would live.

And there was no way she could join me. Rhian had talked to Morrigan, the leader of the clan I now belong to, about it. Morrigan had, along with some of the other members of the clan, looked into it. And the answer was no.

There are certain rules for turning humans. Rules that have to be obeyed. First of all, you cannot turn a human unless they have been an ally for some time. You cannot approach a human and talk to him or her about becoming an ally unless your clan feels that he or she has an open enough mind to accept the fact that things are not as black and white as most people think.

Her mind was not open enough to accept that vampires exist. She fell under the S category, and therefore she could not be approached. At least not for some time.

So I had to let go. And I did.

Mostly.

That is the down side to immortal life, by the way.

Rhian took my hand and led me back to my own room. I lay down on my bed, and she sat beside me for a while, stroking my hair like a mother would do to her child.

“Are you sure?” She asked in her soft Irish lilt.

“Do you need my help?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Aye.” She nodded and sighed sadly. “That we surely do, but it be killin’ me ta see you so sad.”

Rhian had told me that both she and Morrigan saw great potential in me. I have to admit that hearing that made me feel very proud. It was an enormous compliment to have two of the most powerful Mages tell you that you have the seed of true greatness within you, after all.

“I’m sure.”

I barely felt her teeth when she bit me. I had the preconceived notion that pain would be involved, but there was none. Just a feeling of…finality, I suppose. Out with the old and in with the new.

I was not even scared as I felt my life slip away from me. The feeling of Rhian’s lips on my neck as she drank from me was reassuring in some bizarre way.

When the final blackness crept closer, I felt Rhian pull away.

“Three days, sprite.” I felt the tips of her fingers graze my cheek after my eyes slid closed for the last time in my human life. “I’ll be there.”