Title: Second Best
Author's Name: Kritter
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Ginny/ Blaise ;Hermione/ Pansy
Disclaimers: Not mine, bugger off.
I can't help but wonder why she wouldn't choose me. She's known me since I began here. I know I may have seemed stupid then, all naive and school girl crushes. But I've grown haven't I? I'm an adult now. Hell I was an adult after my first year here, it's not my fault that no one bothered to notice. Its probably my own fault. We were friends of course, in that off handed sort of way where I know her through my brother and really, we're both girls so shouldn't we be friends.
So what if I value our friendship more than she does hers with me. Who cares if I'd told her every one of my secrets. I even went so far as to tell her about the dates I'd had with the Gryffindor boys over the years. Well, I only started dating in my fourth year really, but a lot of boys liked me apparently.
I even told her about my kiss with Luna, though that was a lark and she'd probably just wandered into it like she does most things. But I told her how I liked it. And how I think I might have fancied Luna. But that was a fluke really. I didn't like Luna, I just like what she taught me. She introduced me into a world I never would have known. But that sounds all flowery and poetic, and I assure you, this world of mine is not.
Barely any flowers here, and the ones that do live are riddled with thorns and smell like sanity as it escapes you. But that's poetic and angsty and well, I'm not.
Poetic that is. Angsty maybe but then again wouldn't you be.
I'd told her that I was at least a little bit gay. And I told her how I had been so terrified during the entire... event... at the Ministry. Except she didn't look too deeply into that. She had Ron after all and she was straight as an arrow.
But of course that was all relative. Just because she seemed straight as an arrow doesn't mean she was, and really, with the evidence pointed right at my face its obvious that she's not straight, at least not completely. And that evidence... Pansy Parkinson. Laughable isn't it? They always seemed to be enemies. A female version of the Harry/Draco archrivalry, almost the same thing only with more wit and less testosterone.
So it seems their arguing was just hiding their attraction and at the most available moment they lunged at each other. Or at least that's how it seemed just a few minutes ago. I was following Hermione because I had nothing better to do and Pansy was walking down the hall. I was going to get closer to Hermione, for moral support, when they just grabbed at each other and started kissing.
Something familiar in the way they touch.
I'm hidden in the dark corner of a niche in the wall. I should turn away but I can't. Like an accident in Quidditch, you know you should look away but you can't. You want to see the carnage. But this isn't carnage, this is carnal, and slightly arousing if I allow myself to think about it that way. But its not. Its Pansy kissing the girl I want and Hermione not resisting at all. Actually she's participating very much so because its her hands that are travelling up Pansy's thighs and not the other way around.
I might have been able to fool myself into thinking that Hermione was just a shocked still participant. But when the barely muttered groan of Pansy's name reaches my ears in a voice I'd never heard Hermione use but is undeniably her, I almost cry. Instead I just run from the sight.
It takes two weeks. Two full weeks for me to see them again. Of course I see them seperately, in the Great Hall for meals, in the halls between classes. But together it was another mistake, and this time I wasn't following Hermione. I was on my way to the Library and there they were, kissing and more and being quite obvious about it. Anyone who walked down the hall would see them. But they didn't care.
And I realize now, seeing them kissing, seeing Hermione arch her back and throw her head back in a silent moan as Pansy is kissing and biting at her neck, that I love Hermione. I've loved her probably for a long time but never quite realized it. You never do realize the worth of something until its gone, and Hermione certainly is gone.
I barely notice someone else at the far end of the hall, I'm at one end, HermionePansy is in the middle, and that person is frozen there, shock clearly on their face. And they turn and flee. And I can hear the sob that came so obviously from her lips. Blaise Zabini. I run after her, I run right past HermionePansy who don't even notice because they're too absorbed in their own pleasure. Blaise isn't as fast as I am. Growing up with boys you learn to run because you're always being chased.
And I like to say that my Quidditch practice has gotten me more lean and fit. Not that I wasn't lean to begin with. And I can see Blaise slow down because she won't beat me and she knows it. And she stops and she just falls to her knees and I end up behind her, my arms around her and I don't know why.
She's crying and the sobs make her shudder. She's shorter than I am, with the dark looks of a Zabini. Black hair and dark dark eyes. Skin as pale as any of the Slytherins. She also has the pale beauty of Slytherins.
She turns in my arms and her tears are soaking into my robes and I can feel her breath against my collar. I hold her tighter trying to still her shaking.
" Why not me?"
I can make that much out. She's saying it over and over, "Why not me?" I understand too.
" You love Pansy?"
" Always have."
She laughs a little bitterly as if its a joke fate has played on her. It probably is, as much as my circumstances are.
" I love Hermione."
She's looking up with a mix of pity and understanding. I discard the pity right away because I've always hated the way it makes me feel. I bask in the understanding though.
" I would have given her everything that I am and she just runs off with someone who can't possibly understand her."
I understand that too. Hermione and Pansy are such opposites. Pansy is nowhere near the intellectual genius Hermione is. Pansy can't understand how Hermione loves to read because she just needs to know everything, she wants to understand. Its not because she's vain and wants to prove herself better, she honestly just wants to understand. And Pansy is all power ploys and evil plots. Pansy can't possibly make Hermione happy because Hermione needs someone who won't criticize her, someone who will be there while she studies, never interfering, just waiting until Hermione is ready and then being there. Pansy can't do that.
Or at least I don't suppose she can because really I don't know Pansy.
" I know her best, I know Hermione better than anyone else in this school.. if anyone deserves her I do."
Blaise nods against my shoulder where she's rested her head. The sobbing has stopped but she's still sniffling.
" Why not us? Aren't we the best for them?"
And Blaise is looking me in the eyes and she smiles for a moment. And before I can realize it we're kissing and she's on top of me on the floor. I still can't understand why Hermione wouldn't realize I'm the best for her, but if Blaise doesn't mind, I'd like to forget all about it in her arms.