Title: Once at Night
Author's Name: Kritter
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Hermione/ Pansy
Disclaimers: Not mine, they belong to JKR.
Feedback: Please. Kritter_Kaven@hotmail.com
" How do you do it?"
"Its not a challenge at all," I can hear her mutter before she kisses me on the lips lightly and then she leaves my bed. She dresses on her way to the door, pulling on her clothes in a manner reminiscent of the way she took them off the night before. She doesn't even look into the hall when she walks out, acting as if she had all right to be with me, in my room, before she just strolls out without a care. I envy her sometimes. Her poise at any time. Its worthy of witches much more powerful than she is, but she's always carried herself with grace.
I won't even bother trying to explain the night before. This night. Every night this week. Its always the same, every single night, and yet I'm still surprised when she comes to me. I'm still caught with my mouth open in an O of surprise when she pulls open my door and walks in like she owns this tower. And she takes off her clothes, every step getting her closer to naked, and I'm always mesmerized. I think the first time I licked my lips when she took off her shirt and she laughed. She had a spectacular laugh when she's not laughing at you in scorn.
She has a feline grace, as she climbs my bed, crawling towards me because I'm pressed against my headboard. I wish, for just a moment every single night, that I wasn't Head Girl and that I didn't have my own room. Having my own room means I won't be saved by a suitemate coming in. It means this won't stop unless I call for help, and when I scream I'm not exactly telling her to leave.
I don't know why it began, really I don't. I hadn't even thought about her at all, not in that fashion. But I admit I don't want it to stop. Not while she's with me and her warmth spreads through me. Not while she's awake and kissing and doing everything to me that I never thought a person would want to do to me.
One week and three days, today. That's how long she's been coming in to my bedroom. And every night feels as new as the first. And when I see her in the halls I blush just a little and I try to catch her eye. I wish she would acknowledge me just a little. Because sometimes I feel as if I'm just imagining her every night. As if I really am going bonkers. Too many late nights studying.
But if I am imagining this why is it her. I should hate her. She is technically an enemy. Its not like she has the Dark Mark emblazoned on her arm or anything but she might as well. Chummy with Draco Malfoy who has yet to realize that in the list of Harry's enemies he's very much at the bottom. An annoyance nowhere near the claiber of the He-Who... Voldemort. Yes his name is Voldemort and I must get used to calling him that.
Every night when she leaves I half feel like following her. I want to know how she comes in and out of our tower with such ease. Maybe she found the password out and is sneaking in that way. When she comes in its always late at night and all students are quietly in bed. And since my room is right off the Common Room its not like she has to go traipsing throughout the entire tower to find me.
But I always just lie here, as I'm doing now, and I watch her leave. She always kisses me on the lips before she leaves, and usually she says good bye with a fond look. I wonder if she's in love with me. There has to be a reason why she takes such a risk every single night.
The moment I think of her being in love with me something constricts in my chest. It feels painful but also at the same time it makes me get those butterfly feelings in my stomach.
At breakfast I try to catch her eyes. She's laughing at something Draco has said and the way her cheeks redden ever so slightly makes her look gorgeous. I never would have thought the words gorgeous with her before. But now I know. When she catches my eye she raises a sculpted eyebrow high on her forehead and then scowls when I don't look away. Blushingly I correct Ron in one of his statements.
I can't concentrate in Potions. She sits three desks behind me, partnered with Malfoy. I feel a glint of jealousy when I hear her laugh again, the words, "Oh Draco," coming from her lips as easily as my name had come from them the night before. I think I hate Malfoy, though I should have hated him before.
At night I'm lying there waiting. I can't sleep, not with the anticipation coursing through me. I know it will be hours before she comes and I should be reading, or getting a start on my Transfiguration paper but I can't. I need to wait here, wearing the sexiest lingerie I own which isn't very sexy actually, and just waiting. I concentrate on breathing, concentrate on the feel of the thick quilts over my body.
And I wait. Its about three in the morning and she should be here by now. But still I wait. And I wait. And when the morning sun is peeking through the window I cry just a little.
She doesn't even seem to notice when I glare at her during breakfast. I'm sure I look horrible. Bags under my eyes, my hair must be even more of a mess than it normally is, my robes askew. I want to scream out in frustration when she laughs at something Draco says and her name lilts on his... Either cry or punch Draco. I'm not sure which seems more favorable.
Potions, again, and she doesn't look at me at all. Not even during the numerous times I turn in my seat and look at her. Harry looks over to me a couple of times and raises an eyebrow in question. I can never look at him in the eye when I shrug.
Lunch and I can't do anything but stare. Ginny notices and asks me if somethings wrong. She knows that sometimes I take the insults that the Slytherins throw at me to heart, but its not that. Or maybe it is. Maybe I've been insulted in a very personal way.
Night and I wait. I don't know why I do but I wait nonetheless. And when its past the time she would normally come I'm crying into my pillow and my tears are poor replacements for the kisses she would be giving me. I almost, almost but not quite try to go to her tower, but common sense keeps me from it.
Breakfast I glare at her. Potions I look back several times. Lunch I glare again. And this time we're in the hall and she's walking past me. I've just left the library and she's headed there. I half feel like turning around and following her back in but before I can make up my mind she's walking right past me, so closely that we brush our sides together and there's plenty of room in the hall so I know it was on purpose. I turn to look at her and she's looking back and smiling. I've got a piece of parchment in my hand now.
She disappears into the library and I run to my room so I can open it in peace.
" Love, they changed the password. I can't get in. If you'd be so kind, Owl me the new one. Can't wait til tonight. With all my love, Pansy."