TITLE: The Messed-Up Zone

AUTHOR: Jos Mous

Email: wotan_anubis@yahoo.com

DISCLAIMER: Not owning any characters, not making a profit.

RATING: R. Very R. Practically NC-17.

PAIRING: Sam/Nicole.

NOTE: This is a response to the challenge set by Nicole. I tweaked it around a little bit here and there, but nothing TOO major.

This is Brooke McQueen, an ordinary teen with an ordinary life. She's a senior at Kennedy High, captain of the cheerleading squad there and very, very blonde even though she gets straight A's. She lives in a house dubbed "the Palace" with her father Mike, her stepmother Jane, her stepsister Sam who's so gay that everyone knew it before she did and, lately, her baby half-sister Mackenzie.

Life is fairly normal for Brooke McQueen, or so she thinks. Little does Brooke know, however, that, when she had woken up this morning, she had unwittingly entered.

The Messed-Up Zone.

*********

Brooke walked over to the window and opened the curtains, while she tried to yawn away the last bits of sleep. The sky outside was a clear blue, adorned with a huge rainbow. Brooke looked at it for a while before turning around, getting out of her pyjamas and getting into assorted other bits of clothing.

Brooke entered the bathroom, took her toothbrush and toothpaste and quickly set forth to brush her teeth.

"Hey Brooke," a muffled voice next to her said.

"Hey Nic," said Brooke.

Brooke brushed in silence for a while until her still sleep-depraved mind managed to figure out what was wrong in this setting.

"Nic?"

"Yeah Brooke?"

"Why are you here?"

"Spent the night here."

"Oh. Right."

Well, that sounded logical enough for Brooke, so she thought nothing more of it. Then she became aware of another tiny detail.

"Nic?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you naked?"

"I've spent the entire night here having sex with Sam."

"Oh, so you're a lesbian now?" Brooke said.

"Pretty much."

"Good for you," said Brooke.

"Thanks."

Brooke finished brushing, put everything away again and walked back into her room. She walked over to her bed and studied it intensely for a moment.

It was empty.

So that meant that she probably wasn't sleeping right now.

"You had sex with Sam!?" Brooke screeched as she stormed back into the bathroom.

Sam spit the remains of toothbrush into the sink, then gave Brooke a strange look. "What are you talking about?"

Brooke blinked. That definitely wasn't Nicole talking to her. For one thing, she was a brunette and, for another, she wasn't naked.

"Sorry. I thought. I. never mind."

Sam nodded. "Well good."

"I'll just go now."

"You do that," said Sam.

"Right."

As Brooke turned to leave the bathroom, Sam stopped her by making a casual remark.

"Oh and if you see Nicole, tell her she needs to go buy more lubricant. Honestly, I thought only sluts in really bad fiction are so obsessed with anal sex as she is."

"YOU BITCH!" Brooke screeched as she entered the kitchen like a fury from Hell.

Mike and Jane jumped in fright, while Mac started crying.

"Oh. sorry," said Brooke.

"Brooke, honey, are you OK?" Mike said.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, I'm fine," Brooke said. "Say, did you see Nicole somewhere around here?"

"Oh yeah," said Jane. "She just went out to buy some. what was it again?"

"Clothes-pins. Said she needed rather a lot of them," Mike said.

"Probably because of all the clothes she has," Jane said.

"Clothes-pins!?" Brooke yelled. "That kinky little slut!"

And with that, Brooke left the kitchen.

Jane and Mike watched her go, their minds ticking over with worrying scenarios that all concerned Brooke. And possibly drugs.

"Well." Jane said slowly. "At least she's eating right. Right?"

"Right," said Mike, equally concerned.

Meanwhile, in the corner and totally unheeded, Mac played with her chew-toy.

School had begun about fifteen minutes ago, which was why Brooke was now entering the Novak and spotted Nicole putting on some make-up. Or at least, someone who looked quite a lot like Nicole.

"Hey," Brooke said as she went to stand next to her.

"Hi Brookie," said Nicole calmly.

"You're Nicole, right?"

Nicole watched her suspiciously. "Last time I checked, yes."

"So you're not someone pretending to be her then?"

"I don't think so, no."

"And you did have kinky sex with Sam last night, right?"

"That depends on your definition of "kinky"."

"Did it include. the penetration of an orifice somewhere between the legs that is not usually used for sex?"

"I fucked her up the ass a lot if that's what you mean."

Brooke nodded. "Right then. In that case, I have something to say to you."

Nicole frowned. "What's that then?"

"YOU BITCH!" Brooke yelled.

"That's me. Your point being?"

"No, I meant that comment to be insulting," Brooke said.

"Oh," said Nicole. "So you were calling me the name of a dog of the female persuasion."

"Well. actually I meant that you were a heartless little bi. female bastard."

"Yes, but that's not much of an insult since it's basically a statement of fact."

"True, true," said Brooke. "Let me try that again."

"Go right ahead."

Brooke cleared her throat.

"YOU VANILLA SEX-LOVING STRAIGHT PERSON WHO GIVES MONEY TO GOOD CAUSES AND GETS ALL MUSHY OVER FLUFFY KITTENS!"

Nicole's face hardened, while Brooke's face became a little sore due to the fierce slap she received.

"How dare you say that to me?" Nicole hissed. "What's your problem anyway?"

"You're having sex with Sam! That's my problem!"

"Why? It's not like you want her."

"Are you nuts!? Of course I'm lusting after her! I'm just in denial, is all."

"Oh come on, you slept with Josh. You can't be gay."

"Hey, I can be as deep in the closet as I want. And besides, you slept with Josh too."

"Yes, but that was just to get back at you. That had nothing to do with me wanting to have sex with a guy."

"Well. you just stop seeing Sam right now, you hear me?"

"Can't. I'm in lust. Well, OK, love, but don't tell anyone."

"And I suppose you're gay too," Brooke said bitterly.

Mary Cherry blinked. She wasn't used to this. It was normally her that said things that didn't made sense. Now that Brooke was suddenly saying them, she was lost.

"What do you mean Brookie?"

"Well, Nicole's doing it with my stepsister, Popita decided to commit attempted murder so she could be Lady T's bitch in prison and I'm in the closet, except at night when I masturbate. And since you're the only remaining cheerleader, you must be gay as well."

"Ah must?" Mary Cherry said, panicking slightly.

"How should I know? I'm in the closet, remember?"

Mary Cherry, feeling totally lost in unfamiliar territory, decided to look for a figure of authority to tell her what to do. She spotted Nicole cuddling with Sam. Or at least, doing something that could've been cuddling if it wasn't for the gratuitous nudity and hands in naughty places.

"Nic!?"

"What!" Nicole snapped from across the cafeteria.

"Are you gay?"

"What does it look like?"

"Bisexuality?" Mary Cherry hazarded.

"Close."

Mary Cherry started hyperventilating. "Oh my God, Nikky, does that mean I have to be gay too?"

Nicole, not being a good mood due to interrupted semi-cuddling, snapped, "Oh, just fuck off will you!"

That seemed to be everything Nicole wanted to say to her. Cogs started turning around within Mary Cherry, which didn't go very smoothly since they had rusted with disuse. Mary Cherry therefore decided to jump to a conclusion, since she was so much better at that.

"Well," said Mary Cherry. "If Nicole wants me to go fuck another girl what has the same sex as me, then I'd best go do that then."

Sam and Nicole were having a quiet romantic evening. Sam had decided to let Nicole choose the location, which, she realised later, had not been a wrong, but at the very least an interesting choice.

It was a restaurant. There were candles and violin music. And half-naked waitresses giving away free lap-dances.

Nicole had a simple idea of romance. If it lead to orgasms, or at least, sexual gratification, it was romantic.

"Sam." said Nicole, as she held the brunette's hand dangerously close to the candle.

"Yes Nic?"

"There's something I want to tell you. Or give you."

"Oh?" said Sam. "What is it?"

"Hello, have you reached a decision yet?" said one of the half-naked waitresses, who had not realised that "half-naked" usually meant "top-half-naked".

Nicole groaned as Sam reached for her menu.

"Yeah, I've got some questions," Sam said, looking over the menu.

"Fire away," said the waitress.

"What's "chick breast"? I mean, I know about chicken breast, so what's chick breast?"

"It's extra," said the waitress.

"Oh," said Sam. "And. err. here, "Good Eating". That's not much of a description."

"Well, it's hard to describe," said the waitress. "It's always different."

"But it is always good, right?" Sam said.

"Oh yes. We're very good at it."

"I'll have that then."

"No you won't!" Nicole shouted. "That. particular item hasn't got anything to do with food."

"Well, sometimes it does," the waitress said helpfully.

"Oh," said Sam. "I'll just have steak and fries then."

"Rare, medium, well done or charcoal?"

"Charcoal, please."

"Very well," said the waitress, who then turned to Nicole. "And what would you like?"

"Just a sandwich," said Nicole.

"Coming right up," said the waitress, who then quickly hurried off.

"So." said Nicole, when she and Sam were alone again.

"So." said Sam. "You had something you wanted to show me?"

"Oh, right." said Nicole, reaching down into her handbag.

"Here's your orders," said the waitress, who seemed to materialise out of nowhere.

"Hey thanks," Sam said. "That was quick."

"Instant gratification is what we're all about. Enjoy your meals. Bye!"

"Bye," said Sam.

"Can we get back to the part where I wanted to give you something?"

"Sure," said Sam, hacking at the burnt slab of meat on her plate.

"You see, it's..."

"Get back here!"

"I won't have sex with you!"

A scrawny figure leapt onto Nicole's and Sam's table, then quickly ran away again. Not long after, a slightly less scrawny, but more plastic surgically correct figure, also leapt on the table and sped away as well.

Sam blinked. "Was that Lily?"

"Wouldn't know," said Nicole, who could never remember the faces of people who weren't important. "But that other one did look a lot like Mary Cherry."

"Well. I'm sure they're. not going to end up in a hospital. Anyway, you were saying?"

"Right, well, I wanted to give this to you."

Sam hadn't expected a ring. And, sure enough, didn't got one. What she did get was smooth, wooden and vaguely phallic-shaped.

"It's a dildo," said Sam.

"That's right," said Nicole. "Do you like it?"

"Well, it looks like all the other ones we have, except that this one's made of wood."

"That's because it's my great-grandmother's dildo."

"Your great-grandmo..."

"That's right. My mother gave it to me and now I want you to have it."

A little tear dropped from Sam's left eye. "Aw, Nic, that's so swe..."

"Hold it right there!"

Nicole and Sam both groaned as Brooke came storming towards the table.

"What do you want Brooke?" Sam asked tiredly.

"I want to have sex with you too."

"I thought you were in the closet," Sam said.

"Well I'm out. So there," Brooke said. "Now come on."

"Err. and Nicole?" Sam asked, as she was dragged out of her chair.

"What about her?"

"She may want to have sex with me too?"

"So? I don't mind."

"Yes, but."

Nicole watched for a moment as Brooke took off with Sam.

She had simple ideas about romance. And what was more romantic than one girl to have sex with? That's right.

Grinning, Nicole stood up and followed the two girls.

It was turning out to be a very romantic night.

-----

Brooke woke up, little streams of terrified sweat all over her body. She hadn't screamed, but her sudden movement were enough to wake up the girls in bed with her anyway.

"Brooke?" Sam mumbled.

Brooke looked at her, her eyes still wide with fright.

"Something wrong?" Sam mumbled.

Brooke nodded.

"Bad dream?" Nicole asked, who had until very recently been sleeping on the other side of Sam.

Brooke nodded again.

"What about?" Sam asked.

"It was a totally messed up account of everything that had happened yesterday," Brooke said.

"Yeah? What was so messed up about it?" Nicole asked.

"Sandwich, wasn't a double entendre."

There was a moment of silence.

"That is messed up," said Sam.

Brooke shivered as parts of the dream came back to haunt.

"Well, we're here so you can go back to sleep now."

"Are you kidding?" said Nicole. "We're here so we can't go back to sleep."

*********

And so we leave Brooke McQueen to the romantic plans of Nicole, back in the real world. But even her touch may not let the blonde cheerleader forget that she has just paid a visit to.

The Messed-Up Zone.

Though the touches of Nicole and Sam combined just might let her forget, mind you.