Up Against an Angel
Author: Hope Libby
"This is a mouth only bulletin, this can not be traced, yadda yadda yadda." I get so tired of saying the whole spiel, "I have found unequivocal proof that the man with the biggest head," take that any way you want <Sam… you hussy!> Eww not with this guy, "Dawson Verbeek has been running the largest male prostitute/ professional whiners/ dog grooming service. He should be considered… well; no he shouldn't… just avoid him. This has been a streaming video announcement by mouth only." <The story has just started and we are already in trouble with people.> Eh they'll get over it… we can threaten the use of peaches. <It's going to get worse isn't it?> I'm writing it… <that's what I'm afraid of> Oh shut up! <Fine, but I will be back.>
Ok so I am Sam McPherson, journalist/mouth only. I am the only source of truth for my society. There was this giant windows 2010 crash that caused all of society to be shut down. <Cause by 2010 all of the world was run by computers… the world had gotten lazy, people sat on their asses all day long playing Pong and eating sushi or watching Joey's Crack (some show about kids with pluming problems or something)> That show survived on triangles alone… but yeah Dictator Bill Gate's wonderful society went boom and only the people with high intelligence <Like Sam> like me, were able to Ctrl+Alt+Delete and get our computers working again. <So she took it upon herself to inform the people of the wrong doings of people in power> and Dawson Verbeek <yes and him. No one cares about that Sam> but I do. <Is it relevant to the story?> It can be if I want it to. <Whatever… ok so there was the crash, Sam being good, Dawson being evil… in the midst of all this was a girl smart enough> and sexy enough <yes, like a peach. Anyways this girl, Max, attempted to steal something from Sam, her cherry.> Not that cherry! Or that one! Sheesh you people! <A cherry shaped diamond. Sam caught her though. This began the beautiful friendship of Max & Sam, did I mention that Max was genetically engineered?> Nope… I'll explain that. Max was genetically engineered to be the perfect soldier <she's got feline DNA> Yup she's a cat baby… well human with abilities of a cat… like really flexible, bionic eyes, great hearing <I wonder if she grooms herself as well> Oh shut up. So to recap, Bill Gates bad… Max: cat in the sack. <Like you would know.> Ah, but I plan on finding out sooner or later, hopefully sooner. <Well you are writing this story> Yeah and we saw how quickly the last one went downhill. <Yeah but the people who matter, gave feedback, and they didn't mind you getting some… they really liked me joining in too.> True, except for the adding you part. Eh.. We'll see what happens, I don't even know where this is headed yet.
In through my window comes Max, her pouty lips tinted with red, perky breasts and perfect ass encompassed in nothing but leather, flowing wavy brown hair coming down to mid back and her dark brown doe eyes trained on to me, she grins.
"Hey Sam… what up?"
"Hey Max, not much. Just writing a story."
"Ooh can I read?"
"I'm not going to have to kick your ass for it am I?"
"Is that all you can say?"
"Nope." <Sam this is getting redundant> yeah I agree. "When its finished I might let you see."
She shrugs, "Ok."
"So what do I owe your presence to? Not that I mind it in the slightest bit." Max comes over and sits on my lap <They have a close friendship> "You comfy?"
"Very… there weren't any chairs nearby."
"Oh I don't mind… so why did you come here? Or did you just miss me?"
"Yes…and I saw your little thing on Dawson."
"Oh yes… what about this big headed fool?" <Sam I think we need to stop now. >Stop what? <Making fun of Dawson.> Hey this guy has done heinous deeds. <He's an actor> Who the hell are you talking about? <Oh… never mind, its not about him then.> Exxxactly *wink*
"I liked your yadda yadda yadda thing… but wouldn't that make you seem less credible?"
"Was that a question?"
"Yup… gave it a question mark."
"Who were you asking?"
"I don't know… but I think people will believe me."
"Good, makes my job easier."
"So what are we doing tonight?"
"Oh, you think I want to spend my free time with you?"
"Right." I grin, "What was I thinking? Someone as high and mighty as you couldn't possibly and to hang with a lowly peon like me. You might get dirty."
"I have no problem with getting dirty… it's the cleaning up part that is the problem." <hint to Sam> shut up.
"So, what are we doing tonight?"
"Let's go clubbing."
"Yeah, come on… I know the perfect place!"
"Oh really, where?"
"This cute little place called Jitterbug Perfume."
Hmm that would be a gay club, is she hinting something? <Gee let's think about this… yes!> Shut up! "Sounds like a nice place."
"See you then." She kisses me on the forehead. <A really close friendship.>
"When is then?" I rub circles on her back with my thumb.
"Then is when I get here." She purrs out.
"Oh… I guess I'll be waiting for you then."
"And should be always." She says this as she strokes my cheek, stands up, and leaves through the window. <Damn girl! You two are so close to getting it on!> We better. <Your libido must be this turbo libido.> Yup… must. <Lucky Max.> Lucky me.
<This is the part of the story or TV show, however you picture this, where we break for commercial so that a scene can change and have it still make sense> Its handy having you around. <Yeah… I think you need to learn how to write.> That would help as well, but this is more fun!
Ok so I am looking like Rachael from Coyote Ugly right now… but with better make up. <For those of you who haven't been privileged enough to see that movie… Sam is wearing tight leather pants, a black tank top, that I have no idea on how she can breathe> haha… it gives me bubbies. <that it does…rrrowrr, anyways… along with the leather pants and tank top Sam is wearing a pair of biker boots, why is this important?> Cause its sexxxy. <Sure babe… her hair is down and wavy, and her make up has enhanced her lips and eyes.> That sums it up, you want to describe Max? <What's to describe? She looks as drop dead gorgeous as before> Yeah that works.
The ride to the club on Max's bike was uneventful. <Except Sammy "accidentally" on purpose grabbed Max's breasts for support instead of wrapping her arms around Max's waist. She did end up moving her hands…thus making the smiles on the two girls faces to fade. But other than that, it was uneventful.> I wasn't going to tell them that. <They need to know hun, its essential to the plot.> There's a plot? <And on that note, we continue this story.>
We step into Jitterbug Perfume and instantly the pulsating beats of the bass bombard the senses, making this new world we stepped into, strangely sensual… erotic even. Max and I don't talk much, we just dance, and before we know it, three hours of sweat and grinding have passed by. Max has left for the bathroom and I am taking the chance to catch my breath. A song comes on that I used to love when it first came out, I catch myself singing it when Max comes back.
"You know I don't care at all, let, let me see you up, up against the wall."
She quirks her eyebrow at me and then grins kinkily <is that a word Sam?> Who cares? The readers know what I mean. <Ok.> "Oh really?" Max says as I step down from the stool I was sitting on. We are now mere centimeters apart, I respond.
"Yeah." Next thing I know is my hand is grabbed and I am being dragged to and thrown up against the wall. <Its not as violent as Sam made it sound… she's a little wound up right now.> A little? <*giggle* Our lil Sammy is having trouble concentrating on anything but Max's lips, hips and hands.> Whaa? <Exactly. But then… I don't blame her. Amazingly the song switches to a good ol George Michael song.> 'I want your sex' <How appropriate.> Uh huh. *giggle* look at those lips. <At least she can concentrate on something.>
~But they are worth concentrating on.~ <Brooke?> ~Hey cheerleader.~ <Isn't it crowded enough in Sam's head with me?> ~Yes… but its not like Sam is working right now.~ <True.> ~I think Max broke Sam.~ <That she did… but its fun to watch Max grinding Sam into the wall.> ~Even better seeing Sam unconsciously respond by grinding back, pelvis and pelvis, legs intertwined…~ <Oh yeah that's nice, but this eye contact between the two of them is really powerful. Heck even I am feeling the effects of the stares.> ~Oops, sorry that was my hand… they look so close to kissing. Sam don't deprive her of your lips!~ <Or you of hers!> Huh? Oh, ok. I kiss her. <SCORE!> ~Hello…kiss is the understatement of the year. They are devouring each other, tongues dueling for full reign… I wont even go into what the rest of their bodies are doing. ~<I will. *waggles eyebrows* Their grinding has slowed down to something very sensual in nature.> ~Look people are staring!~ <Oh Sam is going to LOVE that… they pull away from the kiss… breathing ragged.> Wow. <Go Sammy! Go Sammy!>~ S-A-M-M-Y!~ <I think she wants to unzip your fly.> You two shut up. <Oh sure, now you can form sentences.>
~She's mean.~ <Yeah, I'm used to it.> That kiss was magnificent; it was soft, warm, sweet… intense. I'm so glad we have finally kissed… her lips are nummy. I look at her and smile. <Smile my ass… more like a full blown clown smile that can be seen miles away.> ~At least Max is looking the same way.~ <*giggle* they are so cute!> ~ I know!~ Thanks you two. Brooke, what the hell are you doing here? ~Well Max broke you so I came to play, besides I've got a thang for the cheerleader.~ <Go Me! You do know I'm not really a cheerleader right?> ~Duh.~ --Yeah hun, hi. You a cheerleader? I think never in a million years, you and your Britney body.-- <Hey now Nic, aren't you supposed to be insulting me?> Nic get out of my head! I don't need three blondes in here. -Yeah… Melissa is calling, good job on getting Max.--<I worry about her.> Yeah, she's gotten nice. ~She's always been nice… ok well, its been in there. Aren't we supposed to be concentrating on the fact that Max is now nibbling on Sam's ear?~ <And we've lost Sam… again.> ~I've never seen anyone's body turn into a noodle before.~ <Seriously! Good thing Max is here to support her against the wall.> ~We need to do something… Sam is losing face here, with her not doing anything in response except moaning.~ <Moaning ain't bad… but I do see your point, lets yell her name…1…2…3…> <~SAM!~>
What? ~You need to keep your composure dear…~ <Seriously Sam, give some back or at least go back to your place with her.> I don't know why I'm reacting this way… must be the club. ~Must be.~ <Uh huh.> "Max." Well that came out as a moan. I push her away from kissing my neck. "Max." I say again. "What?" She replies… wanting to get back to what she was doing.
"I think we need to move this little party somewhere else, somewhere more comfortable."
"Oh yeah… I agree, lets go."
Cheerleader…*silence* Oh sure, when I need her she doesn't answer. CHEERLEADER! <Umph uh yes?> Where were you? <Uh, showing Brooke how to eat tuna.> Oh I see.. Wait! Does that mean what I think it does? <*innocent look* I don't know what you are talking about.> ~Yes Sam… its what you think. Now why did you interrupt us?~ Oh yeah… I need her to fast forward the story again. <*sigh* you really need to learn how to write. Ok so this is fast forward mode… Max grabs Sam's hand ad they get out of the club, hop on the bike and speed across town to Sam's house in which they are entering now… kissing and groping. Am I done now?> Yes. ~Woo! *pulls cheerleader down on top of her*~ Those two are so cute. Oh…hi, Max's lips on my neck…sucking… I take her head and kiss her… a nice passion filled, deuling lips and tongues kiss. And the fire between us grows as I finally take the initiative and move my lips to her neck and kiss downwards…
And the phone rings… being mouth only I have to answer it could be some heinous crime lord doing evil or something. So I go and answer the phone, "This better be good."
"Oh it is Lil Spammy!" <~Mary Cherry?!~> Mary Cherry!
"Whay yes. Spammy, do yah know where the divirginator Brooke ihs? Some major evil is oing down and ah need some help."
"Oh Brooke is busy with the cheerleader right now. Whats wrong? Maybe I can help."
"Oh Spammy its more horrible than a speaotting contest without a spittoon so you have to use old Aunt Berthas kneatting purse cause tis tha only thang big enough to hold thee speaot."
"Huh… ok what's wrong Cherry?"
"There is sohm un goin round killin off chea'leadahs aht competitions."
"Ah know! Spammy… this needs ta be stoppeded!"
"I'll get right on it MC and when Brookie is done with the cheerleader I'll have her call you."
"Ah kay hun. Luhv n peeotchezz."
I hang up the phone… why is she like that? It boggles the mind. I walk over to Max, who is sitting on the couch.
"Sorry about that, looks like we'll have to put what we were doing off until later."
"So what da dilly yo?"
"Da dilly be you going to become a cheerleader."
"Why not? You know you want to."
"Oh I do."
"Good, I'll get my friend Brooke to help you."
<Quit promising my girl toy without her permission Sam!> Oh you're back now? <Yeah, tired her out… she's cute when she sleeps.> I know. *sigh* <*sigh*> Mary Cherry says hi to Brooke, wants to get called… big cheerleading conspiracy. <oooh we get to go to a cheerleading competition?> Yup Bring it On style. <Woo! And Hoo! Even.> ~I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot.~<That you are snowflake> What did you do to her? <I'm good.> ~She's great… plus, you were the one who brought up Bring It On.~<It's a cheerleader thing, a gay cheerleader thing.> Oh ok. Still trying to comprehend the concept of 'gay cheerleader'. <~Tell us about it!~> Oh, Mary Cherry is having a crisis, cheerleaders exist. Er no… cheerleaders are being killed off. I'm sending Max in undercover. Think you can train her… and none of that so called training the cheerleader here was giving you half an hour ago. ~Right… well, I suppose I could train her.~< I'll help!> No, you'll be a distraction, but then again so will I, so…
<Fast forward to training session being held a week from the last conversation. The competition is in another week.>~Because timelines in stories do not really matter as long as people know it happens in the future.~ <Thanks luv. Max, being a quick learner makes the 2nd best cheerleader of all time (I'm first. ;) ) today she is going over the final routine with the rest of the Glamazon's. Yes kiddo's, the Glamazon's are still a cheerleading squad… cheerleading will never die. I should mention now… well you'll find out later. It will be a surprise. You know what? Let's skip over all this as well… to the competition day, because we all know that Max is perfect. So we are now sitting in the crowd waiting to watch the performance. Out come the Glamazon's.>
You know, Tom Robbins said it best, "Fashions come and go, come and go, but the length of a cheerleader skirt remains constant, and it is upon that abbreviated standard that I base my currency of joy." ~Ooh I like that.~<Me too… Brooke go cheer.> ~Yes mistress.~ <Oh shut up, good luck sweets, and don't get killed.> ~Thanks.~ You know, when I saw Max in leather I didn't think that she could possibly get any sexier, but now watching her flex and bend and flip in that tiny baby blue uniform, I know I was wrong. Her tan firm legs, seem to go on for miles before hiding their treasure in the skirt, and that sliver of her taught stomach is enough to drive anyone insane in hopes of licking it. <Oh Sam… you kinkster!> Yeah… well, I have an oral fixation damnit! < We know.> Suddenly there is a screeching noise. <Mary Cherry doing a cheer?> Nope… feedback, evil feedback. Max falls into action by flipping over to the music control thingie. <Great description nimrod.> Shut up. Max follows the trail of shredded pompom plastic to find… <Bobbi Glass, who has always harbored foreign exchange students as sexual slaves who do house work and like to wear collars and cheerleader uniforms?> No… eww. <Emory Dick, who has always wanted to be a cheerleader but his Mullet prevented him from ever being able to land a jump?> Nope. <Wanda Ricketts, who hated everything that wasn't in a bathroom? Oh wait… she's still there. Who is it then?> Richars Simmons dressed as Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror Picture Show. <Eww.> Richard sees Max and starts sweating to the 90's dance moves to hypnotize her/attack her. But Max, never having been the kind who needed to lose weight, doesn't get hypnotized and time warps his ass right into the Transylvanian jail where the real Dr. Frankenfurter has supreme reign. You can hear the whole prison block shiver with antici… <enter long ass pause as we all admire/envy Tim Curry's attractiveness>… pation as Max leaves, oh Dick will be taken care of there.
<So this ends our story… the bad guy is in jail. The Cheerleaders are safe. Brooke and I have a new "friend" in Missy. Sam & Max are still in their will they/wont they have nookie stage. And all the Chickens are safe. The peaches are very juicy.>
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