Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: R

Pairings: Sam and Janet, established relationship

Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. I even borrowed the letters that make up the words.

Spoilers: Of course, all of the stories in my Ampersand series, New Ground, In The Line of Duty (again)

Series: Fifth in my "Ampersand Series."

What Came Before: "Life & Death," "Search & Rescue," "Forgive & Forget," "Hide & Seek"

Notes: Thanks be to John, our tireless and irreplacable beta. Forever shall we be grateful. The character of 'Kessia' is an original character introduced in "Search & Rescue." N'yan, however, is a product of the show and appeared first in the episode "New Ground."

Summary: Sam is wary of Janet's acceptance of her new infirmity.

Thank you to San for the book covers.

Sam watched as Dr. Warner examined Janet, watching his large hands moving from her wrist to her cheek, shining a light into one eye and then the other. He frowned, checking the various readouts on the numerous machines hooked up to the doctor.

Janet - trying unsuccessfully to remain motionless on the large bed, her eyes completely and mysteriously sightless - kept grabbing for the doctor's hands, trying to take the medical equipment from him. She was convinced she could do the examination herself, even though she knew that it wasn't allowed. It was times like this Sam wondered if her own stubborn nature was rubbing off on her lover.

Unfortunately, the situation caused the brunette to look infinitely smaller than usual, as if the hospital bed were threatening to swallow her alive. It was hard to look at the brunette's pale skin, just a shade darker than the sheets on which she lay. It was just too large of a reminder of what both women had been through.

"Miss lunch?"

She jumped at the proximity of the voice, turning to see Jack O'Neill smiling vaguely at her. "Oh... hi, Sir. What about lunch?"

"The way you were gnawing on that thumbnail... thought maybe you were starving."

"Oh." She self-consciously moved her hands away from her mouth, clasping them behind her back. "Sorry, Colonel. Just nervous about Janet..."

"I know, Carter." They were silent for a moment, watching Warner go about his business. He was ignoring them to the best of his ability, focusing only on his patient. Sam admired him this quality, wishing she had it in herself. Finally, O'Neill spoke again. "Look... about this whole... Kol thing. I know you did what you felt you had to do. Just, ah, next time... and there better not be a next time... don't go it alone. Daniel and I would've backed you up. You didn't have to risk your life alone."

"Sir, when we got Janet back, she was barely breathing. I don't know if she would've survived long enough for us to calmly and rationally talk the situation over. And even if I *had* talked it over in a briefing, Hammond would never have agreed to releasing the prisoner. I didn't just do what I *thought* I had to, I did what was absolutely necessary to bring Janet and Teal'c back alive." As an afterthought, she quickly added, "Sir."

"That's another thing." He turned, moving away from Warner so the older man would be out of earshot. Sam reluctantly followed to hear what her CO had to say. "Teal'c was fine. We all assumed his symbiote would help him out. Another couple of hours wouldn't have affected him one way or another. I'm sure he would have figured out a way to keep the Doc going."

"What are you saying, Sir?"

"I'm saying you're not telling me the real reason you went to Almierta. I think there was only one person you were concerned about."

She glanced at the bed holding Janet, then said, "What do you mean, sir?"

"Look, Carter, your personal life is, usually, none of my business. But when the person you date begins to affect your job, I have to step in. Regardless of regulations, I think you need to make some better decisions when it comes to separating your job and lover."

She looked at Janet's bed and whispered, "That's how I almost lost her, sir."

Jack blinked, looking as if he had just pulled onto the wrong off-ramp and had no idea how to get back to the highway. "Wha... What do you mean?"

"Do you remember a while back? When we went to Laszwell's world and thought we had the virus?" Jack shuddered at the man's name and nodded. "Janet and I had been... intimate... after my return. There was a possibility that, if there had been a virus, she was also infected. I refused to reveal our relationship to General Hammond and... basically chose my career over her. We broke up for a couple months... When she took me back, I swore that I would never let her down because I happened to be in the Air Force. And if I had left her on the planet because I was afraid of being reprimanded, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Jack glanced at the bed, his eyes widened. "Carter, I... thought you were dating Brubaker."

Sam froze. "Oh, God..."

Jack ran his hand over his mouth, looking at his second-in-command. "You... and, and the doc? How long?"

"Not long," she lied. "A few months." Years, months, what was the difference?

"Does Cassie know?"

Smart question, Colonel. "Yeah. She knows."

"Who else?"

She thought about saying 'everyone but you, sir. Get with the program.' Instead, she told him, "Only Daniel and Cassie. We've been subtle about it."

"Obviously!" Jack said, a bit louder than he had intended. "Look, uh... are you happy? I mean, with her and the whole..."

"Sir, I couldn't be happier."

He smiled. "That's all that matters, Carter." He looked again at Janet, alone now that Warner had gone into the office. "Looks like she could use some company. Your secret's safe with me, Sam." He winked and offered a quick lascivious grin before slipping out of the infirmary.

Sam walked back to Janet's bed, sitting on the stool that had been pulled up. "Hey, Janet. What's going on?"

Janet smiled at the sound of Sam's voice. "Not much... still trying to get use to not seeing my hands when they're right in front of me." She sounded cheerful, raising her hands and peering intently at them, as if sheer will was enough to make them visible. "Dr. Warner can't seem to find anything wrong with me," she added quietly. "I'm the picture of health. Well, other than the obvious cuts, bruises and breaks. And the fact that I couldn't see the picture of health if it was right in front of me..."

"It doesn't have anything to do with your head injury?"

"I remember seeing things after I hit my head... I remember the blood from the wound running into my eyes and I saw the center falling... I even saw that creepy blue alien when he touched my face."

"Creepy blue alien?" Sam queried. "What blue alien?"

"He, ah... looked kind of like Thor. After the fall, he put his hands on my face. I think he might've been trying to say something or... I don't know. I just remember seeing things after the head injury. And in most cases, blindness doesn't really lie dormant waiting to strike. I have to be honest with you, Sam. Give these conditions, I don't think *I* would be able to find out the cause. It's too damned eerie."

Sam nodded slowly, then decided to change the subject. "When's Warner going to let you go?"

"Well, since there's no medical reason for my blindness and I'm otherwise healing nicely, I think, maybe, tomorrow?"

"Sounds great!" Sam said, taking Janet's hand in her own. "And I'll be able to prepare for you."

"Prepare? Prepare what?"

Sam grinned. "Oh, you'll see, missy. Just wait."

---

Kessia slid her palms over the soft material of her pants, trying to smooth it as best she could. "I cannot accept this," she said, looking down at the clothes the SGC had provided for her. She had been quarantined at the SGC for over three weeks, following her emancipation from the people of Chahakae, and was being treated to a day outside with Teal'c and Cassandra. An outside observer wouldn't have known that three aliens walked among them in the 'spring wear' section of JCPenny's. She had been a harem girl of a creature known as the Provider. She encountered Teal'c and Janet when they appeared searching for Samantha Carter. While Kessia had been little help finding their friend, they had kept their promise and brought her through the Stargate to their world.

Teal'c had not lied; the humans on this world were free. After an entire life devoted to another, she didn't know if she would be able to live for herself. As she had started to accept the fact that she could leave her room as she wished and could do what she wished, they had given her another surprise. Humans on this world were allowed to choose clothing for themselves. The Provider had always kept his women as bare as possible. Kessia didn't understand the meaning of brassiere, panties, stockings or even sweater. She had marveled that so much material had been used just to cover the flesh of the arms. She had been born on Chahakae, a tropical world where covering the majority of your body was considered suicide on even the most temperate day.

Cassandra Fraiser burst into the private area, dumping her armful of t-shirts and jeans on the table that separated the door from the dressing rooms. "I got some more stuff for her to try out. Um... and if it doesn't look like it'll fit, just buy it anyway."

Teal'c picked up one of the t-shirts and unfolded it, holding it out before him. He looked from the teenager to the fully-grown Kessia, whose well-endowed look probably caused her position in the Provider's Harem. Teal'c raised an eyebrow at Cassandra, noting that she was considerable less-endowed than Kessia. "This does not look like the size of Kessia." He turned slightly, holding the shirt up to compare to Cassie's teenage form. "In fact, it looks to be your perfect size."

"Imagine that," the girl grinned. "Good thing the government's footing the bill for this outing, huh?"

She chuckled and disappeared back into the store. Kessia adjusted the turtleneck of her sweater, a bit uncomfortable that so much of her skin wasn't visible. "The Government? Is he like the Provider?"

Teal'c smiled. "It is an organization set up by the people of this country to govern themselves as best they are able. There is a system of what O'Neill calls 'checks and balances' to ensure one man does not hold all of the power of the government. There is no threat of a Provider ever reigning on this world," he assured her.

She smiled and turned, nervously holding her arms out. "How do I look?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Ravishing."

The Jaffa, as anyone who knew him would attest to, never exaggerated. When they had met Kessia on Chahakae, she had been a scared, beaten, desperate slave girl. Even then, she had radiated a beauty that anyone with eyes could see. Her skin, until recently marred by bruises and the mark of malnutrition, had started to regain it's original olive complexion. Her flowing red hair was bound in a ponytail that hung halfway down her back, swinging every time she made a movement.

She fixed her sparkling green-blue eyes on Teal'c. "Ravishing," she repeated, blushing. "Thank you."

He bowed in way of acknowledging her thanks, then looked at the stack of clothes. "I believe our day is done."

Kessia agreed and returned to the dressing room to change back into her 'own' clothes. Shortly after her arrival on Earth, her harem outfit had been discarded at her request and replaced by the same kind of fatigue pants and a black t-shirt that SG teams wore. When she returned, dropping the sweater and slacks onto the stack, Teal'c once again admired her perfect form. Turning his attention away from her, he picked up Cassandra's choices with one arm and pulled the curtain away with the other. Kessia smiled shyly up at the large Jaffa, slipping under his arm and back into the store.

"Cassandra," he called out. "I believe we are finished."

---

Sam entered the infirmary, looking at the empty bed where Janet had recently lay. The bed was now empty and made, waiting for the next injury to come through the Stargate. After a quick search of the infirmary, she found Janet in the break room, standing in front of the radio. She smiled, about to call out a greeting, when she saw what Janet was doing.

The brunette's hands were speeding over the dial, tuning the radio through static and radio stations alike. She paused every few seconds to listen to a snippet of a song and then move on. After several seconds, she reached the end of the dial and had to go back the other way.

Sam scanned the doctor's form, hidden by the hospital gown she wore. She bit her lip, still amazed how much it hurt to see her like this. 'Is this what it's like for you,' she mentally asked her lover. 'Every time I go through the Stargate, do you prepare yourself for me to come back hurt? How do you do it?'

Putting side her thoughts, she spoke, "Janet?"

She jumped slightly, like someone waking from a dream, and turned slowly to face Sam. "Oh. Uh... I guess I got kind of sidetracked." She extended her arms in front of her, finding the only obstacle was Sam.

The blonde wrapped her arms around Janet and said, "Let's get you home. I can't wait to show you the surprise I have waiting for you."

"I can't wait," Janet smiled, snuggling against Sam's side.

As they left the infirmary, Sam glanced back at the radio. It had paused on an oldies radio station and the old song "I'm Sorry" was playing slowly. Frowning, she decided it wasn't something to be worried about and led Janet to the elevator.

---

In the jeep, Teal'c switched on the radio. Kessia jumped, as he hadn't turned it on during their trip to the mall. She stared at the small digital read-out and finally touched the face of it. "Minstrels... where are they playing? And for whom?"

"They are professional musicmakers on this world. They play for entertainment of all. This particular team of minstrels refer to themselves as insects which humans tend to look down upon. According to O'Neill, they are known as 'the Beatles.'"

Kessia's surprised expression slowly slid into a smile. "I like these beetles. They are extremely harmonious."

Cassie jumped into the backseat, swinging her bag from Camelot Music. "So? Where to now, Teal'c?"

"Home."

"Aw, c'mon!" the girl pleaded. "I'm sure there's something Kessia hasn't seen yet."

He cocked an eyebrow. "I suppose I could show her the constant battle being waged a few blocks from here."

"Battle?" Kessia questioned, glancing at Cassandra. "There is a battle?"

"Indeed," Teal'c intoned. "One takes up a single weapon to fight ten unarmed opponents. The field is widely separated and it takes skills and cunning to win the day. Your aim must be true and unwavering. Your footing must be sure. Do you wish to see this battle?"

Kessia was breathing harder slightly as she watched Teal'c recount this battle that was being waged. She slowly nodded. "Then we shall go."

---

Janet entered her house, one hand gripping Sam's shirt while the other balanced a white cane. She wore a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses, hoping she didn't look too conspicuous. The moment she stepped in, she was assaulted by the sweet scent of sandalwood and camomile. "Sam..."

"Shh... I know you can't exactly appreciate the bouqets, but you can smell them." She sat Janet in one of the chairs in the dining room, pausing to rub circles on the brunette's temples. "Just relax, Janet. I'll take care of you."

Sam disappeared for a moment, moving something on the kitchen counter. When she returned, Janet could smell fragrant smoke beginning to fill the air of the kitchen, apparently from candles Sam had just lit. She straddled Janet's lap and sat gently on it, sliding so that her legs were wrapped around Janet's waist. The doctor absent-mindedly moved her hands to cup Sam's ass, holding her securely. A feather-soft touch glanced across her cheek, then moved slowly down to her chin. The object that was examining her face - it was too thin and light to be a finger - traced her lips, then slowed underneath her nose. Janet inhaled slowly, smelling the familiar scent of a rose. She smiled and said, "Roses, Sam? Don't you think that's a little cliched?"

Sam chuckled quietly, dotting Janet's nose with the rose. "Roses a bit 'blah' for you, hon? Let's see what else I have." Her voice was a husky whisper... the very sound of it was making Janet think about what other things they could do with their hands...

Sam returned a moment later, once again dropping onto her lover's lap. Janet slipped her hands into the back pockets of the blonde's jeans. Instead of submitting the new flower, Sam began to unbutton Janet's blouse, stopping when sufficient cleavage was revealed. Slowly, Janet felt a gentle kiss on her collarbone as the thin stem of a flower was slid between her breasts.

The flower was long enough so that the bloom was just below Janet's nose and she inhaled deeply. She frowned, unable to place the scent. "I know this smell," she said. "What kind of flower is this?"

Sam bent forward, nibbling Janet's ear. The blonde's hot breath washed over her lobe as Sam said, "Remember Urgo?"

Janet shivered. "Uh-huh."

"Remember," she whispered, nipping at the brunette's cheek, "the weekend at the lake?"

"Oh, God, yes," Janet moaned. "The field of calla lillies..."

The calla lillies in the field around Janet's cabin had grown incredibly high, the shortest one reaching Sam's thigh. As Cassie and her new friends had taken over the rowboat, Sam and Janet had disappeared into the overgrowth, making love in the curtain of fragrant flowers. When they had been forced to leave the cabin for work on Monday, they had each plucked a flower and placed it behind their ears. They had laughed at their little fashion statement-slash-inside joke, but never really mentioned it again. Now, Sam had resurrected that wonderful memory for her with just a smell.

Sam pulled Janet's sunglasses off and lightly kissed the brunette's closed eyes. "Do you remember how beautiful it was there, Janet? The flowers high above our heads as we lay sprawled in the field? The incredible blue sky..."

"The color of your eyes, Sam," Janet quietly interrupted.

"The smell of the lake so close, and yet worlds away... and you. You were the most beautiful thing there, Janet." She kissed her lover's lips and added, "There and anywhere."

They kissed passionately, Janet's hands squeezing inside the pockets of Sam's jeans. When they parted, Janet laid her forehead against Sam's. "Let's go somewhere a bit more comfortable. In case Cassandra comes home."

"Good idea, hon." They stood and Sam, literally, swept Janet off her feet. "I've always wanted to carry you upstairs for a night of unbridled passion."

Hooking one arm around Sam's neck, she laid her head on the blonde's shoulder. "Carry me away, my romance-novel seductress."

They ascended the stairs slowly, pausing to taste each other's lips again before they finally made it to the bedroom.

Sam gently laid Janet on the comforter, straightening herself and pulling the flower from Janet's cleavage. Janet sat up, holding Sam's hands. "Wait." She stood and turned so that Sam was against the bed and gently pushed the blonde into a sitting position. "I have to do this."

The blonde nodded slowly, not understanding but wanting Janet to do what she had to.

Slowly, Janet pulled off her own blouse and slipped the navy blue skirt down her legs, stepping out of it and kicking it across the room.

She stood before Sam in her bra and panties, her breasts rising and falling with her slightly unsteady breathing. Sam watched the movement of Janet's chest, hypnotized by the movement. "Janet," she whispered, touching her fingers to the brunette's stomach.

"Not yet," Janet said, pulling the slender fingers away from her flesh.

Sam put her hands at her side, obedient to Janet's desire.

Janet exhaled slowly, then placed her hands on Sam's cheeks, cupping her face. Her fingers moved gently, probing the soft skin under the blonde's eyes and sliding around to her ears. As she traced the lobe, Sam realized what she was doing. "You're memorizing my face," she said.

"Shhh," Janet admonished, her fingers sweeping down the slope of Sam's neck to her shoulders. Finding they were still covered with the soft material of a sweater, she deftly found the hem and pulled it up. Sam assisted with the removal, then put her palms flat against the mattress again. Janet's hands moved ever-so-slowly from the shoulders to the arms, moving along the well-toned muscle found there before trailing back up and across her collarbone. She paused, taking an extra moment to examine the flat expanse between her neck and the swell of her breasts, the hard bone beneath the skin pressing against her palms. Janet smiled slowly as she moved her hands down to cup Sam's breasts, thumbing the erect nipples. "You didn't wear a bra," she marveled. Slowly, she moved her hands down Sam's bare stomach, undoing the belt and fly of her lover's tight jeans. As she began to slide the denim down, she grunted, "Damn, Samantha. These aren't painted on, are they?"

Sam shook her head slowly, too lost in sensation to speak. Finally baring Sam's legs, Janet got onto her knees, pressing her lips against the pale skin of Sam's breasts, the flesh that had gotten an all-over tan in that field outside of her cabin. Her tongue rolled across the pink areola, her lips closing over the erect bud of each nipple in turn. Sam sighed, rolling her head back. Janet was now working her magic on Sam's stomach, her tongue darting into her navel before slipping down to tease the patch of thin, blonde hair below. She could smell the scent of Sam's arousal, and dipped her head down to get the full experience of the wonderful aroma. "Mmm, Sam. You're very ready, aren't you?"

"Extremely," Sam moaned.

Janet pressed her lips to Sam's clit, taking it into her mouth and rolling her tongue around the sensitive nubbin. Sam's arms gave out and she dropped against the mattress, her arms shooting to the sides to grip the blankets as Janet continued the assault by lazily drawing her tongue across the dripping slit of Sam's sex. "So good, Sam... you taste so good..."

Sam murmured a reply, but Janet couldn't tell if it was comprised of any actual words. 'God, I wish I could see you,' Janet thought, reclaiming the tiny clit and humming softly.

"Ahhhhhh," Sam said, her back gently rising off of the mattress. The upper half of her body seemed to be levitating, the muscles of her stomach and arms taut with exertion. Janet slipped a finger into Sam's wetness, thrusting with practiced patience as she began to strum Sam's clit with the tip of her tongue. She continued to hum, the vibrations of her mouth tranferring through Sam's clit and through her entire body. If Janet had been able to see, she would have smiled at the wide 'O' that Sam's mouth formed. She would have seen the stomach muscles begin to quiver as climax approached.

Finally, Janet released the clit and pressed her mouth possessively over Sam's slit, reaching to hold the blonde's waist as tight as possible. Sam screamed Janet's named as she came, spilling her juices into Janet's eagerly parted lips. Janet swallowed the cum like a sweet, expensive wine, taking in every drop of the incredible woman's juice. When Sam's orgasm finally subsided, the blonde collapsed on top of the blankets, trying to catch her breath. Janet laid next to her lover, her moist fingers finding Sam's face and tracing the lines of her mouth. "You're smiling," Janet commented.

"Hell yes, I'm smiling. That was... incredible, Janet." She rolled onto her side, kissing Janet's wet lips and tasting herself on the doctor's tongue.

Janet caressed Sam's cheek feeling the sweat there. Finally, she sighed. "I'm going to miss seeing this face," she whispered.

"It's not a completely hopeless yet, Janet. We haven't even started trying to help you. N'yan has offered to try to use some Bedrosian technology he brought with him to heal your eyes. If that doesn't work, we'll just have to..."

"Sam," she interrupted. "I'm just... looking at the worst case scenario." She kissed Sam's lips, then her nose and said, "Do you want to rest?"

Sam nodded slowly, then said aloud, "Yes. Let's get some rest."

As Janet's sightless eyes closed, Sam wondered why the woman was so eager to accept her blindness. Deciding it wasn't the best topic to dwell on after what they had just done, Sam pressed her forehead to Janet's and drifted off to dream.

Chapter 2

Sam woke the next morning with a slight pounding in her head. She sat up, rubbing her temple with one hand while she picked up the alarm clock with the other.

Eight A.M. She had a few hours until she had to report to the SGC. As she slid out of bed, she reviewed what had happened since Janet's abduction. Whereas Daniel had once been the only one in on her relationship with Janet, now Jack and Teal'c had discovered it as well. Though they were both probably going to keep quiet, it was spreading faster than she had hoped.

She glanced at the small lump Janet's body made under the blankets and left the bedroom, pulling her robe off the doorknob of the closet as she passed.

Heading downstairs, she heard the sounds of a loud music video playing on TV. She cinched the robe around herself and continued into the living room. Cassandra was sitting cross-legged on the recliner, eating a bag of potato chips as she watched the band jump around on the screen. Sam approached from behind the chair, snatching a few chips before saying, "Real healthy breakfast, Cassie."

"Hi, Sam! Is Mom home?"

"Yup," she caught the girl before she flew up the stairs. "But she's sleeping. Why don't we wait until she's rested to subject her to the flying tackle-hugs?"

"Okay," Cassie reluctantly agreed.

"Didja have fun with Teal'c and Kessia yesterday?"

The girl smiled. "Oh, yeah! Teal'c took us to a battlefield where we 'had to fight ten adversaries with but one weapon.' It was really cool."

Sam frowned. "Where exactly was this, uh, battlefield?"

"I think the guy who gave us shoes called it a bowling alley," she added sarcastically. "Can you believe Teal'c's never gone bowling?"

"He is kind of busy at the base, Cass. What about the mall? Did they take you shopping?"

"Oh!" The girl stood and lifted her pajama top, revealing the undershirt she wore. Written across the chest in red cursive letters were the words 'Porn Star.' A cartoon drawing of what appeared to be a prostitute was added next to the words. "Isn't this cool? Teal'c bought it for me."

Sam cocked an eyebrow. "Geez, Cass. I wouldn't let your mom see you wear... that..." She mentally cursed at herself for the faux pas, then tightened her robe belt and headed into the kitchen. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"You cooking?"

"Yep."

"Take-out." Sam threatened to toss a loaf of bread at the girl, who quickly changed her mind. "Okay, okay. How about scrambled eggs?"

"You think I can handle it without causing a five-alarm?"

"First time for everything," Cass muttered.

Sam closed the distance between them in one second, wrapping her arm around Cassandra's neck. "Oh, really," she smiled. "Want to repeat that now that I have you in my clutches?"

"Uh, you're the best cook ever! Better than Martha Stewart!"

Sam released the girl and said, "There. Was that so hard?"

Cassandra dropped into her chair at the table and said, "How long will it take?"

"Ah, Charley's said they deliver in half an hour."

"We could go to Denny's and get it quicker."

"But your mom wouldn't be up, now would she?"

"My ears are burning," Janet said, slowly entering the kitchen. Her eyes were wide open, but she was clutching the wall as she moved. Sam bit her lower lip, watching the woman she loved inch through the room, her posture slightly hunched as she leaned on the cane. She looked to be double her age, small and fragile. "What're you ladies talking about in here?"

"Denny's," Sam said, covering the feelings of pity she had for her lover. "Wanna go?"

"Someone will have to read the menu to me," Janet smiled. "But I'm game."

Sam smiled. "Great. We'll go get dressed... Cass, why don't you change into something... acceptable?"

Cassandra rolled her eyes. "All right."

As the girl disappeared up the stairs, Janet grasped Sam's arm. "What was she wearing? That yellow tank-top she wore for her date with Dominic?"

Sam shook her head, then realized that was a futile motion. "No, it's, ah... nothing, Janet. I think it'll accidentally shrink in the washer. Or get bleached. Or maybe we'll just accidentally throw it out." She wrapped her arm around Janet's shoulder and said, "Let me help you upstairs. Then I'll help you get dressed."  She kissed Janet's cheek. "My own little dress-up doll."

Janet grinned. "I could get use to being blind."

Sam winced inwardly at the comment. 'Why are you so ready to accept this is permanent,' she wanted to scream at the brunette. 'Why are you giving up?'

Sam let Janet head upstairs, assuring her that she would be up in a second. Heading back into the kitchen, she picked the bottle of aspirin out of the cabinet, popping two tablets into her mouth and swallowing them. The headache was beginning to decrease on it's own, but she decided it would be better to completely lose it before showing up for duty.

---

Kessia stood next to Teal'c in the gate room, watching as SG-8 and 10 returned from Almierta with the last of the survivors and victims of the quake. The doors slid open and Teal'c turned, watching as Dr. Charlotte Parker entered slowly. She was hugging herself tightly, looking at the shimmering disk of the Stargate. "Dr. Parker," he greeted, bowing ever-so-slightly.

She smiled at him, glancing at Kessia, then returned her gaze to the Stargate. "Have they, ah... brought her back yet?"

Teal'c responded, "They have not. We will contact you when she is recovered."

"I know. I'd... rather be here."

"As you wish."

Kessia kept her gaze on Charlotte longer than Teal'c did. She had never seen a human of this world look so... destroyed. The brunette's hair was mussed, looking unwashed and limp against her skull. The black circles under her eyes revealed that she had not been sleeping well. Her skin was pale and drawn, her clothes wrinkled and slept-in. "You are awaiting the return of a lover?" she asked incitefully.

Charlotte looked down at the floor. "Yes. Well... no. She's... coming back to be buried." She looked away, sniffling loudly.

Kessia put a hand on the doctor's shoulder. "I am sorry. I did not know."

Charlotte was about to say an apology wasn't necessary, but Teal'c interrupted her thoughts. "Dr. Parker."

She looked at the ramp where a member of SG-10 was leading a gurney out of the wormhole. Dr. Amy Roth's lifeless body was beneath the starched white sheet, only her pale face exposed. Charlotte choked back a sob, then moved forward. Taking the edge of the gurney, she said, "I'll take her to the... to the morgue." Everyone who had heard this knew she meant the section of the infirmary that was being used as a makeshift resting place until families - or homeworlds, for some of the alien bodies salvaged - could be notified of the death.

The captain nodded, moving down to the end of the ramp to help one of his team members with another body.

---

Janet slowly ate her Moons Over My Hammy, listening to the sounds of conversation around them as the soft sounds of the radio was filtered through the PA system. Leaning forward, she whispered to Sam, "You know, what they say is true. Your other senses do kick in... I can hear what everyone else is saying."

"Oh, really," Sam said around her mouthful of pancake. "Like?"

Janet pointed in the direction of a young couple. "They left Chicago a few days ago without telling their parents. They're on their way to California."

"Ooh," Sam chuckled, raising her eyebrows. "Anything else?"

Janet began scanning the room. "The people at the table--" She paused, listening to the music coming from the PA system. "What song is this?"

Sam listened for a moment, then said, "Uh... I think it's American Pie. The Don McLean version. Why?"

Janet shushed her, listening closer. When the song ended, she blinked and looked around the table even though she couldn't actually gauge their reaction to her odd behavior. "Uh... sorry. I don't know why I wanted to listen to that." She frowned, picking up her sandwich and taking a large bite. "Where we goin' after this?"

Sam checked her watch. "I actually have to get to the base. But I think you guys have the day to yourself."

Janet smiled. "What are you up for, Cass?"

Cassandra sighed. "I dunno. Maybe just stay home and listen to some music."

Sam chuckled. "Aw, you don't want to sit around at home. Why don't you and your mom go see a movie..." She caught herself, again too late. "Ah... Janet, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"It's okay, Sam. A perfectly honest mistake." She leaned towards Cass and said, "Maybe we can play a little pool. Or, uh... you like darts?" She laughed.

"Janet, are... you sure you're okay?"

"Sam," she said, reaching across the table for Sam's hand. The blonde met her halfway. "I'm fine with it. It's just something you'll have to get use to."

Sam winced slightly, then said, "Yeah. I guess."

As they returned to their breakfast, Sam glanced at Janet. The brunette seemed genuinely okay with it. And that was what worried Sam the most.

---

Kessia entered the infirmary quietly, seeing Charlotte in the corner with Amy's body. She was sobbing quietly over the body of her lover. Kessia hesitated to interrupt the woman's mourning, but she had her orders...

"You are Dr. Parker, am I correct?"

Charlotte wiped her face quickly before turning towards the alien girl. "Yes. Charlotte."

"I am sorry to intrude upon you at this most difficult time. However, General Hammond instructed me to join your team. SG-5?"

"You sure you want us?" Charlotte said, with a half-hearted chuckle that died in her throat. "We seem to be the team with the worst track record."

Kessia smiled. "I believe it would be a wonderful experience. Traveling the galaxy, seeing strange wonders... I believe it will also be invigorating to travel alongside such a beautiful companion."

Charlotte looked up, noting how Kessia was looking at her. "Yeah," she smiled. "Beautiful. I'm a wreck."

"Your love recently perished," Kessia said, stepping closer. "You must mourn. I can see beyond that."

Charlotte wiped away a tear, stroking Amy's cold cheek. "I'm... I'm sorry, Kessia. I just can't think too clearly about anything right now..."

"It is not a problem. I shall see you for our mission briefing in three days?"

"I'll be there," Charlotte promised.

---

Sam had agreed to drop Cassandra off at her friend Shelley's house on her way to the base, which left Janet alone in the house. Quietly, she sat in her favorite recliner and tucked her feet up beneath her, listening to the sounds of her home when the soft sounds of an old song reached her ears.

'I'm sorry... so sorry... that I was so untrue...'

She frowned, trying to find the source of the music. It faded just as quickly as it had started, so she decided it was just a passing car with their radio up too loud. The next song she heard was from a song that she'd heard Cassie play over and over again by the Canadian band Barenaked Ladies. Janet didn't admit it to her daughter (wouldn't dare admit it), but if their music wasn't blasting at the highest volume all the time, she might have actually enjoyed them.

'I live with it every day
For every step I have to pay
The only thing that they can't take
Is the guilt that spirals in my wake.'

Janet frowned slowly standing. That wasn't coming from outside. "Cass? Honey, are you still home?"

Silence. Janet slowly turned in a circle, listening for more of the etheral music. She moved to the wall, using it as a brace to move from the living room to the hallway. The music had stopped, faded away to nothing again. She stopped at the foot of the stairs, debating whether or not to ascend them to try to find the source of the eerie music.

'Without you I am not okay, and without you I have lost my way...'

'The Dixie Chicks?' Janet thought, trying to remember the last person she had met who actually liked the group. 'Maybe I heard the song yesterday when I was speeding through the dials. Of course, that wouldn't explain *why* I was speeding through the dials. Maybe blindness makes you crazy.'

When she found herself at the door to Cassandra's room, she tried to remember starting up the stairs in the first place. She slowly turned the knob, leaning in slowly. "Cass? You in here? Didn't you go with Sam?"

Silence answered her. As she began to pull the door shut again, she heard the quiet strains of another song she didn't remember ever hearing. 'Since the return from her stay on the moon She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey...'

Janet hugged herself as she stepped back into the hall. The song faded after only two lines, but the eerie message of it still haunted her. The return from her stay on the moon could possibly be alluding to the time she was trapped on Almierta. Could it be possible that whatever was causing her to hear this music was trying to communicate to her? That it knew her thoughts and memories?

"Is anyone here?" she asked, her voice shaky. No one answered. She rubbed her face, waiting for the next barrage of music to fill her head. When none came, she sighed and dropped her arms to her sides.  Scanning the hallway with her blind eyes, she grabbed the banister and made her way back downstairs.

---

The house was mysteriously quiet when Sam returned. The mission to PX4-465 had been scrubbed after the UAV sent back pictures of Jaffa assembling in the woods near the Stargate. Teal'c had indicated it as an ambush and Hammond had immediately decided against sending anyone.

Sam dropped her leather jacket on the recliner as she passed, smiling when she saw Janet curled up on the couch. Kneeling next to the sleeping beauty, Sam's smile faded when she saw the bandage covering the stitches that marred her forehead. Lightly, she traced the edges of the dressing, moving down to lightly touch the purple bruise next to Janet's temple. She winced, as if the wound was her own. She bit her lip.  After watching her lover sleep for a few moments, Sam stood and went into the den. Sitting at Janet's old computer, she pulled the keyboard into her lap and began typing. She didn't know where the words were coming from, but they poured unending onto the screen. When she was finished with the rough draft, it was three-pages long, single-spaced. She sighed, rubbing her head. She wanted to look it over for errors, but clicked the printer button anyway.

"Someone's a regular Stephen King in here."

Sam turned, startled. Janet was leaning against the doorway, her white cane leaning against her side. The brunette smiled and said, "Hiya, Sam. What happened to the mission?"

"Jaffa set-up," Sam said, glancing at the still-churning printer.

Janet moved to the chair, listening to the hum of the computer. "Whatcha typing?"

Sam closed the laptop, as if Janet could read what she had written. "Ah... nothing. Just wrote a letter to Mark. It's still a work in progress."

Janet draped herself across Sam's lap, both women amazed at her ability to land so perfectly without benefit of sight. Draping an arm around Sam's neck, she said, "Read it to me?"

"Well, it's... not exactly finished. Just a first draft sort of thing. I'll read it to you when I finish, okay?"

"You got it," Janet smiled. "Did you pick up Cass from Shelley's?"

"I stopped by and she wanted to spend the night. I said it was okay."

Janet smiled. "Very nice." Kissing Sam softly, she said, "Meet you upstairs?"

"Okay," Sam agreed, nuzzling Janet's cheek. "I'll be up in a minute. Just let me get some things organized here."

Janet nodded and slipped off Sam's lap, moving slowly to the door. Once the brunette was gone, Sam let out a breath of relief and looked at the three pages laying in the printer. Gathering them and looking them over, she whispered, "All the times off-world, all the injuries, all the times you thought I wouldn't come back... I never knew what you went through." Upstairs, she could hear the shower running. Sam bit her lip as she opened the bottom drawer of the desk. "I'll never make you worry again, Janet."

With a rough sigh, she dropped her letter of resignation into the bottom drawer to be revised and sent as soon as possible.

---

Janet, paying attention to the squeak of their bedroom door and the sound of rustling clothes, heard Sam before the blonde had even entered the bathroom. Janet turned, extending her arms. "Care to join me?"

She felt Sam slip into her arms, a hungry mouth moving to her throat and placing a series of quick kisses over Janet's quickening pulse. She curled her arms up, wrapping them securely around Sam's shoulders and drawing the taller woman lower. Sam put her hands on Janet's hips, pushing the brunette to the small seat in the corner of their large shower stall, lowering her down. Janet laid back against the shower wall, spreading her legs.

Sam saw her lover's eagerness and placed a soft, probing kiss on the smaller woman's lips. "I love you so much, Janet. I would give up everything for you," she whispered, subtly revealing what she had written a few minutes before.

Dropping to her knees, resting her hands on Janet's silky thighs, she leaned forward and rested her cheek on Janet's warm stomach. She could feel the short hairs between Janet's legs tickling her chin as she held her lover tightly.

Janet raised her left leg, resting it on Sam's shoulder and giving the blonde more room to work once she decided to begin working.

Taking the hint, Sam began to trail kisses from Janet's navel down to the slope of her hips, carefully moving around the wet patch of hair. Janet slid lower on the seat, opening herself to Sam's eyes. Sam looked down, licking her lips in anticipation. "You're so beautiful, Janet. I want to taste all of you." She bent down, her tongue dancing along the brunette's erect clit before diving down to assault the slit.

Janet gasped, leaning her head against the shower wall. The hot water pounded against her heaving chest, running down her ivory skin and across the expanse of her stomach. Sam felt like she was in the middle of a waterfall, but went about her business despite the drenching. Janet moved her hands down, brushing Sam's blonde hair back, slicking it against the major's skull. From experience, the doctor knew that there were errant strands of blonde hair sticking up, and the memory made her smile. She thrust her hips up to meet Sam's exploring tongue, eager to orgasm so she could return the favor. Sam dragged her tongue from the bottom of Janet's slit to the top, pausing there to encircle and suckle the hard nub of Janet's clit.

The doctor moaned loudly, squeezing one breast with one hand as the other held Sam's head in place. "Yes, Sam... oh, Sam," she moaned, arching her back and licking her lips. Sam, in the meantime, slid her hands between Janet's ass and the cold linoleum of the shower seat, squeezing the doctor's flesh in her hands as she pressed her mouth tightly against Janet's mound. Janet's breath was now coming in ragged puffs, her chest rising and falling with each rough gasp. Finally, Sam extended her tongue to enter Janet, pushing the petite doctor over the threshold. Janet began to moan as the climax shocked it's way through her entire lower body. Sam's grip increased as Janet's leg pulled the blonde closer. Sam eagerly accepted the gushing gift that her lover offered her. Once Janet's climax subsided, Sam licked the brunette's slit clean, savoring the taste before pulling away.

Janet placed her hands on Sam's shoulders to brace herself and pushed them both onto the floor of the shower stall. Janet lay on top of Sam for a moment, kissing the taller woman as her hands explored her beautiful breasts. When she broke the kiss, Janet gasped, "I love you, Sam. I love all of you."

As if to accentuate her statement, she began to slide down Sam's body. She kissed the column of Sam's throat, her lips and tongue dancing across the wet skin until they could claim Sam's nipple. Janet paid extra close attention to this, knowing how sensitive the tips of Sam's breasts were. The nipples stood erect already, partially from arousal and partially from the increasingly colder water that still pounded down on the two women. Janet took one nipple between her teeth, biting down gently before swirling her tongue around the entire tip. She suckled the nipple like a hungry child, pawing at the twin before switching her lips to it. Sam was moaning low in her throat, her legs bent and spreading wider and wider.

Finally, Janet reached her lover's center, rising to sit on her haunches. Sam stared at Janet, watching as the brunette slowly began to grin. Sliding forward, Sam pressed the crux of her legs against Janet's lower stomach, grinding gently. Taking hold of Sam's hips, Janet began to circle her hips slowly, rubbing ever-so-maddeningly against Sam's slit.

Sam gasped, her hands reaching for something to clutch, something to hold on to during the mind-blowing orgasm she knew was coming. Janet used her entire body to rub against Sam. The blonde was moaning loudly now, her voice echoing off of the shower walls and probably spreading through the entire house. Janet was glad Cassandra wasn't home as she released Sam's hips, moving one hand around to Sam's front to find and then gently probe her lover's erect clit.

Sam's mouth formed a silent 'O,' her eyes opening wide as she began to cum, her juices covering Janet's stomach and legs. When the orgasm subsided, Janet slid Sam's lower body to the shower floor and draped herself across Sam's body, gently kissing the blonde's cheek. The water from the shower head, now cold, beat down on their exhausted bodies.

Trying to regain control, Sam wrapped her fingers around Janet's hand and pulled it to her lips, lovingly tasting each sweet finger. Finally, she looked at each digit and smiled. "You, my dear, have some very pruney fingertips."

"Toes, too, I bet," Janet murmured, her tongue moving to glide along Sam's earlobe.

Sam's eyes closed as Janet explored. "Hmmm... maybe we should move this someplace dryer... the bed?"

"We'll get the sheets wet."

"We always get the sheets wet," Sam giggled. "It's just a matter of what fluid it is."

Janet kissed her lover and said, "I love taking showers with you."

Brushing brown locks out of Janet's eyes, Sam said, "I'll take all of my showers with you. Always." Their lips met again before they helped each other stand, slipping only once on the slippery shower floor, and led each other to the bedroom.

Chapter Three

One of the things that Sam loved the most about being with Janet Fraiser wasn't the sex. Although the sex was mind-blowingly amazing. To her, it was the knowledge that every night that she slept on Earth, she was sharing the bed with the woman she loved more than anything else. It was one constant in her life that she could always count on. She extended her arm slowly, letting it drift over the rumpled blankets next to her until her hand came to a stop on the pillow. The empty pillow.

Sam sat up, blinking her eyes into focus in the sun-brightened bedroom. "Janet? You here?" The shower wasn't running, so she wasn't in the bathroom... Sam pulled on a pair of sweatpants and was reaching for her robe when she heard a crash coming from downstairs. It was followed quickly by Janet's voice. "Ouch! Damn it!"

Sam sloppily pulled the robe around her bare chest and barreled out of her room and down the hall. She nearly collided with Cassandra, taking the time to tell the girl to wait in her room for a second. Cassie, blessedly, obeyed and Sam continued downstairs to see what the trouble was. She burst into the kitchen and surveyed the room.

Janet was sitting in front of the stove amid a circle of shattered glass. The floor was wet with orange juice and what Sam could only guess was coffee. Eggs and bacon lay on the hardwood floor of their dining room, obviously having been hurled at some point. Janet herself was dressed in an oversized t-shirt that barely reached her thighs and had propped herself against the cabinet. She was cradling her hand against her breast and staring down at it.

"Janet? Honey, what happened?"

Janet forced a smile. "I, uh... woke up early and I knew you were still asleep. I couldn't see the clock because... well... I couldn't." She sobbed slightly, but caught herself. "Then, I decided that I would make you breakfast in bed. Because you always said I could do that with my eyes closed." She paused, sniffling.

Sam wished she had never made the comment, but remained quiet, kneeling next to her lover. "So, I, uh... I burned my hand a couple of times... I think I burned the bacon and eggs. But everything would be fine. Because you would eat your breakfast and then we would... have all morning together. But then I dropped the damn coffee pot and... and I can't even clean the damn mess up because I can't SEE the damn mess and I cut my hand on the piece of shit glass and I can't even DRESS the wound." Tears flowed freely down her face. "I'm a doctor, Sam! I'm a goddamn, fucking doctor and I can't even put a band-aid on my own damn finger!!"

Sam grabbed Janet, pulling the smaller woman against her in a tight embrace. Janet began to sob loudly, clutching at Sam's robe as she let all the frustration she had been holding back pour out. Once or twice during their embrace, Janet balled her fist and lightly pounded it against Sam's shoulder. The blonde didn't seem to notice or care. "It'll be okay, Janet," she soothed. "Everything will be okay. We'll get through this, honey." She smoothed the doctor's hair, lightly placing kisses on her cheek and forehead.  When the sobs finally subsided, Sam brushed away the wet trails on Janet's cheeks. "What do you say we get you cleaned up, huh?"

Janet sniffed. "The mess..."

"I'll clean it up." Sam turned to see Cassandra standing in the doorway, broom and dustpan in hand. "It's okay. I can do it."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, Cass." She stood, helping Janet to her feet. "Maybe a little later we'll go see N'yan... see if those things he brought to Earth can help you see again."

"I'd like that," Janet sighed, holding onto Sam for dear life. "Thank you, Sam." She turned, searching for Cassie. "Cass? Thank you for cleaning up my mess."

"No problem," Cassie assured. "You've cleaned up enough of mine." She hugged her mother tightly. "Don't worry, Mom. If Sam says she can fix it, she will."

Sam watched the mother-daughter moment with a twinge of guilt. 'I wish I could believe that,' she told herself. 'But what if I can't fix it?'

---

N'yan frowned at the text in front of him. Daniel Jackson had brought the tablets back from PJ1-959, believing them to be of religious importance. But as far as the Bedrosian man could figure, they were more like a menu. He frowned and glanced back at the reference book Daniel had given him. Sandwiches, refreshments, prices were all listed on the large tablet. Apparently, SG-9 had spent two days excavating what appeared to be a deli.

N'yan sighed, closing the reference book. As he turned to leave the lab, he saw Samantha Carter and Janet Fraiser enter. "Ah! I see you've decided to take me up on my offer?" he asked. He had offered to assist in healing Janet's vision upon hearing about the accident.

Janet nodded, leaning on Sam until she could find a stool. N'yan picked up his medical kit and looked at it sadly. "Unfortunately, success rates drop after the forty-eight hour window..."

"Just try it... okay?"

"I'll do what I can, Major Carter." He smiled broadly, opening the kit. Sam could usually get the archaeologist to do whatever she asked. Like Martouf, Narim and what seemed like every other virile, alien male (and sometimes female) in the galaxy, he had a slight crush on the attractive major. N'yan withdrew a small cylinder with wings on one end from the box. It was a bit rougher than the one he had used on Teal'c; he had been forced to recreate the device using human supplies since his medical kit had been left behind when they evacuated. He aimed the device at Janet's eyesand warned, "There will be some discomfort."

She nodded, opening her eyes wide. N'yan activated the device and a bright beam shot out, hitting her in the cornea. Janet gasped, clutching the arms of the chair. Sam had her arm wrapped tightly around Janet's shoulders, holding her lover tight.

As the beam bombarded Janet's eyes, she heard a second voice. An oddly familiar voice... It was screaming loudly in her head, obviously hurt by the beam. 'Shut it off!' it cried. 'I'll speak, just shut it off!'

"Hold it," Janet said. "Shut off the device." N'yan did as he was told. "Hello?" Janet asked. "Are you still there?"

'I am. It took time to learn your language, but I did not wish to speak up. I spoke to you by way of musical speech I had heard in your mind. I was merely going to await your next trip through the Stargate and move to another host body without you knowing I was here. I did not know that you would attempt to destroy me.'

"Janet?" Sam asked. "What's wrong, what happened?"

"There... there's a voice in my head. Someone's... in my head!"

N'yan started to speak, but Janet shushed him. "He's talking again..."

'I was forced to seek refuge within you on the world you remember as Almierta. My host was dying. You were
the only living creature within reach.'

Janet blinked. "I... I, uh, have to talk to General Hammond."

---

Teal'c, with Kessia in tow, was the first to arrive to the impromptu briefing. He was soon followed by Sam, Janet and N'yan. Jack and Daniel were the last to show, both looking out of breath and very disheveled.

Hammond nodded at them as they entered and said, "Now, down to business. Dr. Fraiser, you claim this alien is speaking to you telepathically? Is he somewhere within the base?"

"No, sir, that's not it. I think somehow... he transfered his consciousness into me." She paused, then relayed what the alien had said to her. "He claims his name is Natoris. He's a parasitical being, like the Goa'uld, but he didn't have the chance to ask my permission before invading me. And once he had taken me over, he had no idea how to speak our language."

"Kind of like Jolinar, with the Nassyan man," Sam supplied. "The only difference there is that she knew our language."

Janet listened to Natoris again and said, "He claims that he is the reason I'm blind. In his haste to enter me, his essence blocked some synapses and it affected my optical nerves. When N'yan attempted to heal me, the beam actually hurt Natoris. He thought we were trying to torture him."

Hammond asked, "Why didn't he speak up before this so-called torture?"

"He assumed I was a regular Stargate traveler. He was going to wait until my next mission and move to another host. He didn't want to cause undue alarm. He actually didn't know he was causing my blindness until we could communicate.."

Hammond sighed. "What are we supposed to do with this... Natoris? Does he expect us to let him... live inside of you?"

"I don't think so, sir. He's been feeding me images of the disaster on Almierta. Mostly chaotic flashes, but there's one point he seems focused on. Dr. Amy Roth."

"What about her?"

"He claims that he can leave me and go into her."

"What good would that do?" O'Neill asked. "He'd be the host of a dead body."

"He says he can heal her."

---

Hammond led the way to the makeshift morgue, followed by Sam and Janet. "Doctor, what exactly does Natoris promise?"

Janet answered, "He promises that he and Dr. Roth will live parallel lives; kind of like Jacob Carter and Selmak. He'll revive her mind and inhabit her. He's learned not to block anything important."

Hammond nodded, then said, "But what about the physical decay? Dr. Roth has been deceased for several days."

"Natoris claims he can reverse it, sir."

"And what if he's lying? What if he can't bring Dr. Roth back to life and merely succeeds in taking her over?"

"She's already marked as KIA, sir. What harm can it do?"

The group of Hammond, Sam and Janet stopped next to the lifeless form of Amy Roth. "Be that as it may, I'd like to order a few more security guards before we go through with this procedure."

"Way ahead of you, Sir," Sam said. The door to the infirmary opened and three airmen entered, guns drawn.

Hammond sighed deeply, looking at Janet. "Do you know what you have to do?"

She closed her eyes. "Put my hands on her face. Make sure my fingertips lay on her temples." Sam complied, placing the digits in position.

"Now what?" Sam asked.

"Now, I suppose we... AH!" Janet gasped, her eyes opening wide. Her hands suddenly flew away from Amy's head and Janet collapsed on the floor. Sam rushed to Janet, carefully lifting the brunette up.

"Are you okay, Janet?"

"Fine," she assured. "I'm..." She stopped, blinking slowly. "Sam... I think I'm starting to see." She rubbed her eyes, blinking quickly. "I'm seeing shapes! Sam, I can see shapes!" She almost crushed a kiss to her lover's lips, then remembered who was standing a few feet away.

Hammond wouldn't have noticed, however, since he was watching Amy Roth's eyes flutter open. "Gen'ral Hammon'? What... how'd I ge' to SGC?"

Hammond smiled. "Take it easy, Dr. Roth. We'll explain everything to you in time. And then you'll have a fairly large decision to make."

ONE WEEK LATER,

Dr. Amy Roth stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She had a robe cinched tight around her waist, covering her entire body from the neck down. She turned her head slowly, examining the partially-healed cuts that lined her cheek.

"Enjoying the view?"

Amy turned to see Charlotte standing in the doorway, wearing only a thin nightgown. Amy turned away and said, "Charlotte! Maybe you should, ah... cover up?"

"Why?"

"We, uh... we're not exactly alone," she said, pointing to her head.

"I thought Natoris told you he slept often. Is he sleeping now?"

Amy searched her mind, then sighed. "How should I know?! It's not like I've ever had a tenant in my head before!" She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to yell. It's just... frustrating. Live with this alien in your head or die without it. It's not a choice I was very happy to make." She turned and closed the distance between them in a few steps, wrapping her arms around her lover's waist. "It's not every person who can say they died and woke up with an alien being living in their head."

Charlotte smiled. "So you're keeping him?"

"The way I look at it, I have to choose between having him or losing you. That's a no-brainer if I ever heard one."

They kissed gently before Amy led the young doctor to the bedroom.

---

Sam entered the house, tossing her jacket and pack across the foyer and bounding into the living room. She had just returned from a three-day mission and was in need of a Janet-fix. "Cass? Are you here, honey?"

Silence. She smiled and darted into the living room. Finding it and the kitchen abandoned, she turned and darted up the stairs. She was pulling her t-shirt free of her pants as she moved, pausing only to pull her boots off. By the time she entered the bedroom, she was wearing only her uniform pants and regulation bra. She paused in the doorway, examining the set-up Janet had made while she was gone.

Red and white rose petals blanketed the bed, while vases of calla lillies adorned every flat surface available. Candles burned next to the flower pots, filling the air with the inviting aroma of sandalwood. Janet was lying amid the flower petals, her arms stretched invitingly towards the lithe blonde. She had a rose gripped between her lips and was dressed in a see-through teddy. Her nipples poked against the sheer material as she got onto her hands and knees to crawl towards the edge of the bed. Through the clenched teeth that held the rose, she smiled, "You're late."

Sam approached slowly. "It's gorgeous, Janet. Stunning." She grinned. "Oh, and what you did to the bedroom is nice, too."

Janet pulled the rose free, tossing it aside as she devoured Sam's lips with her own. She clawed at the blonde's bra, sliding her fingers under the material and pulling it down to expose a rigid pink nipple. Janet pulled back, looking down at her lover's breast.

"It's beautiful, Sam." She bent her head, lightly kissing the exposed flesh. "Incredible."

Sam pulled Janet's head up until they were again face-to-face. Janet caressed Sam's cheek. "This face... I could live with never seeing another sunrise, never being a doctor again. But I couldn't live without seeing this face." She placed a kiss on each eyelid, slowly moving to lightly taste every spot of Sam's face.

"I have something to tell you," Sam whispered.

"Later," Janet replied, her tongue lightly tracing Sam's lips. "Tell me later." She pulled the small tie holding her teddy together and the two halves separated. Sam moaned, sliding her hands under the material to stroke the silky flesh of Janet's stomach.

"You're so beautiful, Janet. I love you more than words can say."

"Then tell me without words," Janet smiled.

Sam spread her hands apart, pulling the negligee aside and baring more of Janet's heated flesh. Sam cast her gaze downward as she slipped the straps off Janet's shoulders. The brunette smiled, helping Sam slid the teddy down. Sam licked her lips, anticipating the treasure that lay between her lover's legs. Raising her eyes to lock with Janet's, she realized the want there. She pulled her hands away. "I'm being selfish," she whispered.

"What?"

Sam stepped away from the bed, turning to face Janet as she undid her bra. As she tossed it aside, she said, "You need to get reacquainted with me. Relearn my curves..." She pulled her pants open and slipped them down her lithe legs.

Janet lowered herself to the mattress, crooking a finger to indicate that Sam should move closer. Once the blonde got within arm's length, Janet pulled her onto the bed and placed a smoldering kiss on her eager lips. "I don't have to relearn, Samantha. From the first time we made love, I've known your every bend, your every crease, your every tiny bump. I memorized your body the first time I touched it, just in case it was my last. I could never forget your body, Sam. Not even..." she had to force the next few words out. "Even if you get lost off-world."

Sam sighed. She couldn't let that comment just go by... "Janet, I have to tell you something. It can't wait." She looked longingly at the wetness on Janet's thighs and continued. "Do you remember the night you heard me typing in the den?"

"The letter to Mark?"

"Yes. No... it wasn't a letter to Mark. It was my letter of resignation. I quit the SGC."

Janet sat up quickly, all amorous thoughts now forgotten. "You what? Sam, tell me you're joking."

Sam rose to meet her lover, tracing the line of her collar with one finger. "I'm not joking, Janet. I'm going to quit tomorrow. This was my last mission."

"Why? Why now? Is it because of what happened to me?"

"Partially. Janet, what happened to you was, in the grand scheme, small. But what if... what if I came back from a mission without legs? Or paralyzed? Or *dead*? God, Janet, I've died before on missions. What if one of these times I don't come back? It's a possibility every time we dial that damn gate. I couldn't put you through the pain of saying good-bye every time I leave and not knowing if it's for the last time." She brushed away a tear, hoping that Janet hadn't seen it.

Janet pulled Sam close, holding her tightly. "Sam... I don't just love your lips or your hair or your cheeks... I love all of it because they're a part of you." She gently caressed Sam's cheek, placing a kiss on Sam's nose. "I love it all because it's what makes you who you are. And the Stargate is a huge part of who you are. You can't possibly tell me you have no problems turning your back on it."

Sam shook her head. "I do have problems, Janet. It'll be hard for the first few weeks, but I'll get over it. I'll spend every night in your arms, wake up every morning with your head next to mine on the pillow."

Janet pulled Sam into a tight embrace. "You can't quit, Sam. You just can't. I love you more than anything, but you would drive me absolutely nuts if you didn't have a job." She chuckled and pulled back, lightly moving some stray strands of hair out of Sam's face. "But knowing you're willing to give everything up, put it aside and focus entirely on me and Cassandra... that's the most touching thing of it all. I know your life is constantly in danger because of
the Stargate and I reluctantly accept that. But you just can't leave it."

Sam smiled weakly, kissing Janet tenderly. "And you wouldn't mind?"

Janet smiled. "Well... I would worry. But that comes with the job. Besides... how else could we have such great welcome-home sex on such a regular basis?"

Sam turned, scanning the rose petals and candles that were lining the bedroom. "It would be a shame to say good-bye to this." She turned her gaze to Janet. "You, uh... were going to relearn my curves, weren't you?"

Janet smiled hungrily and said, "Oh, yeah."

Sam lay back on the mattress, feeling the soft rose petals press against her flesh as Janet straddled her hips, gazing lovingly at the curves of Sam's body. Slowly, she placed her hands against the gentle curve of the blonde's stomach and slid her palms across the silky skin. When she reached her lover's breasts, Sam gasped. Janet slowly cupped the weight of them in her hands and pressed her thumbs against the erect nipples.

She lowered her head as she massaged Sam's breasts, pressing her lips against the hollow of the major's throat. Her tongue darted out, collecting a tiny drop of sweat that had appeared there.

She trailed her tongue across Sam's collarbone, pausing to nibble on her lover's shoulder before heading to the main prize. She placed an open-mouthed kiss on Sam's breast, suckling it lovingly. Sam gasped, her hands moving to Janet's hips and holding her tightly. Janet swirled her tongue around the nipple, pausing to nip it gently with her teeth. Sam muttered a protest when Janet pulled her mouth away, but silenced it when she felt her other breast being given the same treatment.

Janet nuzzled her face in Sam's cleavage before moving her sights lower. The heated skin of Sam's stomach beckoned her to kiss it and she didn't deny the call. After lowering her lips to the skin above the blonde's navel, she extended her tongue and used it as a paintbrush to trail cursive letters across her lover's stomach. When she finished, she had spelled 'JANET'S.'

Sam smiled and, knowing what Janet had written, whispered, "Always, love... always yours..."

Janet moved lower, smiling at Sam's comment as she moved her attention to the fragrant wetness between her lover's legs. Sam obligingly spread her legs wide, allowing Janet all the room she needed. The brunette caught one leg and hooked it over her shoulder. Sam picked up on this and moved the other leg herself. The position caused Sam's lower body to raise off of the bed, resembling the position they'd held in the shower a week before.

The brunette reached up, clasping Sam's hand. Their fingers intertwined as Janet's tongue began to explore Sam's dripping folds. Sam gasped, clutching Janet's hand. Her free hand moved to run through the doctor's long, brown hair. She held her lover's head tightly, not wanting any space between them when she finally crested her orgasm.

She didn't have to wait long, the way Janet was working her tongue. Sam began to moan loudly, suddenly wondering if Cassandra was home. When she felt Janet's teeth close over her clit, all thoughts of the teenager flew from her mind and were replaced by thoughts of ravishing the lovely woman between her thighs. Her mouth opened wide as she began to cum, the warm softness of Janet's lips moving with maddening slowness over her slit.

As Sam climaxed, Janet extended her tongue into Sam and rolled it. Sam cried out, her back arching off the bed. Janet's eyes widened at the move, which caused Sam to be completely airborne save for her arms on the mattress and her legs on the brunette's shoulders. The pressure of Sam's legs pressed against her, but she didn't let up. She curled her tongue the other way amid the flood of the blonde's juices, igniting another - albeit smaller - orgasm.

Janet gathered all of the delicious juice she could before sliding Sam's legs off of her shoulders and moving up the blonde's body. Her chest was heaving as she lay motionless, trying to catch her breath. When Janet laid next to her, Sam reached out and pressed a deep, probing kiss on the brunette's lips. "That... was... extraordinary."

"I'll say," Janet chuckled. "I think you levitated there for a minute."

Sam caressed Janet's face and said, "My turn?"

"Your turn, honey."

Sam eagerly rolled on top of Janet, kissing the doctor and accepting the tongue that she was offered. They kissed hungrily for a few moments as Sam's fingers danced across the goose-bumped flesh of Janet's breasts. As she lovingly kissed each erect nipple, she gasped, "I love your breasts, Janet." As she devoured her lover's tanned breasts, her hand drifted down to tangle in Janet's short hair, careful not to touch the glistening flesh of her slit.

"Sa-am," Janet warned. "This is not the time for teasing...."

Taking the brunette's warning, Sam raised her head to kiss Janet softly as her finger slipped across her wetness. Janet gasped and Sam took advantage of it, diving her tongue into the depths of Janet's mouth. The doctor took the offering, moving her hands to Sam's shoulders to brace herself.

Sam, meanwhile, ran her finger the length of Janet's slit before daring to dip it into her folds. Janet gasped again, holding Sam tighter. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, Sam's sweat-slickened skin sliding easily against Janet's. As Sam thrusted first one, then a second finger into her depths, Janet moved her mouth away from the blonde's and began to nibble on her earlobe. They were both panting now, each woman's hands clutching the other for support.

Finally, Sam added a third finger and thrust powerfully into the brunette. Janet groaned loudly, dropping her head to rest at the crook of Sam's neck and shoulder. She gently bit the flesh there as she humped herself against Sam's hand. Her juices spilled out of her, covering Sam's hand and arm with copious amounts of glistening fluid. By the time Janet's orgasm subsided, Sam's arm was covered with the sweet-smelling juice.

She raised the wet limb to her face, her tongue gliding over her own flesh to clean it. Janet lowered herself to the flower-petals on their mattress, watching the blonde's tongue dart out to collect the juices that covered her arm.

"You're gorgeous, Samantha."

Sam smiled, laying on top of Janet and smiling. "And I'm all yours. Forever and always."

The women kissed once more before allowing their exhausted bodies to drift off to sleep.

End