Title: Behind Blue Eyes

Author: Femvamp

Feedback: femvamp2004@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Cold Case and all its characters do not belong to me. They belong to someone who is not me.

Fandom: Cold Case & Crossing Jordan.

Pairing: Lilly/Jordan

Spoilers: For Cold Case Mindhunters and The Woods.  For Crossing Jordan sometime after Scared Straight.

She was not like George.

That's what Lilly kept telling herself.

Everyone thought George had taken her to the attack of his childhood home to kill her. Even George had believed that. But Lilly knew it was the exact opposite. He had taken her there so that she could kill him in the place where that part of him that was good, young, and innocent had died.

He had taken her there, because he knew she would understand.

And the truly scary part was that she did.

They had taken her to the hospital just to make sure she was really Ok. They were worried about her so she had gone without complaining. Stillman had told her it was a clean shoot and she didn't have to worry but had insisted she taken the next few days off.

Scotty had driven her home and had made hints about wanting to spend the night, in the purely platonic, best friend, partner sort of way. However Lilly had said no.

Her emotions were too raw.

If he had stayed she would have told him everything.

And she wasn't ready for that, yet.

George had been a victim one. Actually George had been a victim from the moment he had been born. Exactly when had he become a monster?

Was it the night his mother had sold him out?

Was that the night it had begun for him?

Or had it been brewing for years?

Lilly tried to will the thoughts out of her head as she entered her home. She just needed some sleep. Things would be better in the morning.

"Hey Lilly."

Lilly jumped and went for the gun she didn't have.

"Woo, don't shoot."


"Yeah it's me." Jordan Cavanaugh smiled, "Hey what's wrong?"

Lilly stood there staring at Jordan. She wasn't supposed to be here. What if George had seen her? Her life could be in danger.

Then she remembered George was dead.

She had killed him.

"My God, Lilly, what happened?"

Lilly just broke at that moment. The next thing she knew she was in Jordan's arms crying. She had never cried like that, not even when the bad man sent her to the hospital.

She had never cried.

She had fought.

She had lived.

She had never cried.

"I'm not like him." Lilly heard herself saying.

"Like who? You're really starting to worry me."

"George." Lilly said simply.

"Who's George?"

"Serial Killer." Lilly sobbed, "Shot him."

Lilly knew she was freaking Jordan out and that was the last thing she wanted to do. They spent so much time apart, long distance romance and all. The time they did spend together, they both went out of their way to make it happy, and memorable.

"Why don't we go to bed, and you can tell me about it in the morning?" Jordan said simply.

Lilly just nodded and followed Jordan into her bedroom. Lilly was well aware that Jordan was watching her as she got ready for bed, and not in the usual, 'I want you' kind of way.

Lilly smiled as Jordan put her arms around her like she was protecting her from the ghosts in her sleep. George had been wrong, on occasion, she did sleep with more then pictures of the dead.

Before she drifted off to sleep she briefly wondered what he would make of her relationship with a woman who worked in the morgue.


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