Title: Never Again

Author: Faithx5452

E-Mail – Sportygal1316@aol.com

Ratings: PG-17 (?)

Side-Notes: Italic writing indicates her past and normal font indicate sthe present

Archiving: This story can also be found at Wicked & Divine (http://bite.to/wickeddivine/), if you want to use this on your site, please contact me for permission

Fandom: BTVS/Angel

Disclaimers: I do not own the character, Faith, she belongs solely to Joss Whedon and his company. The song "Never Again" and it's lyrics belongs to the band Nickleback.

Warning: Touches upon semi-graphic child abuse and profane language in the lyrics

Her past is a secret that she never reveals to anyone, not even those she knows she can trust with her life. Her past has left painful scars, not only on her own flesh but within her heart. In her line of ‘work’ it was almost expected for her to grow up more quickly once she was Chosen but she is an exception. It is her painful past that has forced her to grow up quicker than her counterpart. Nighttime is when her past comes back to haunt her with a vengeance. Reminding her that she cannot escape it, no matter how she acts to the outside world. No matter how far she runs, it will always be at her heels. This night is no exception in the least as she thrashes unconsciously on her bed within the hotel. Asleep within the spacious hotel, her painful cries are lost within the ancient walls. Her own cries merging with those of past.

//He’s drunk again, it’s time to fight
She must have done something wrong tonight
The living room becomes a boxing ring
It’s time to run when you see him
Clenching his hands
She’s just a woman
Never Again//

The loose boards of the floor creaked with every step Johnny took towards her mother who pleaded with Johnny to stop. The little girl knew that when Johnny was drunk there was nothing anyone could do to stop him. He would just come back until he got what he wanted. Johnny always got what he wanted and whom he wanted. Want. Take. Have.

//I hear her scream, from down the hall
Amazing she can even talk at all
She cries to me,
Go back to bed
I’m terrified that she’ll wind up
Dead in his hands,
She’s just a woman
Never Again//

Too many late nights the little girl woke from her slumber, clutching her ripped blanket as she heard the familiar footsteps stumble towards her room. Too many nights she lay on that worn-out mattress, listening to his slurred shouts of anger towards her mother about everything and anything. Listened at the sound of flesh hitting flesh, her mother’s screams seeming to echo throughout the eerily still night.

//Been there before, but not like this
Seen it before, but not like this
Never before have I ever
Seen it this bad
She’s just a woman
Never Again//

The little girl wanted to plead with Johnny to not hurt her mamma but knew it was useless; her pleas would only bring painful consequences. She had learned her lesson before; Johnny had reminded her many times before what happened to little girls who didn’t listen to what they were told to do.

//Just tell the nurse, you slipped and fell
It starts to sting as it starts to swell
She looks at you, she wants the truth
It’s right out there in the waiting room
With those hands
Lookin just as sweet as he can
Never Again//

Johnny only hit her in places that could be easily hidden by the protection of what little clothes she owned. She had made a fateful mistake on summer afternoon; she had allowed a stranger to bring her to the hospital when she had eyed one of the many bruises on the little girl’s arm. The little girl could remember how he stood in the waiting room, playing the part of a concerned father worrying for his baby girl.

//Seen it before, but not like this
Been there before, but not like this
Never before have ever
Seen it this bad
She’s just a woman
Never Again//

A simple observer would be amazed at the quick change Johnny took as soon as they stepped within the house, his domain. It was that night that Johnny introduced her to the five basic torture groups. Hot. Sharp. Cold. Blunt. Loud.

//Father’s a name you haven’t earned yet
You’re just a child with a temper
Haven’t you heard “Don’t hit a lady”?
Kickin’ your ass would be a pleasure//

She had fantasized too many times to count of being able to return the pain Johnny had inflicted upon her. Wishing there was some way for her to repay him for all the hurt and her dignity that he had cruelly ripped away from her.

//He’s drunk again, it’s time to fight
Same old shit, just on a different night
She grabs the gun, she’s had enough
Tonight she’ll find out how fucking
Tough is this man
Pulls the trigger just as fast as she can
Never Again//

Huddling in the corner of the living room, the little girl shakes as silent sobs wrack her body. She tries to not shed any tears in fear of Johnny catching her. Cringing as she hears the glass break on the bone does she whisper the three words that would stay with her for the rest of her life. “Men are beasts.”

//Seen it before, but not like this
Been there before, but not like this
Never before have I ever
Seen it this bad
She’s just a woman
Never Again//

The demons of her past rips away the ‘tough-girl’ façade she had carefully created over the years, tearing away until only the vulnerable little child is left. Only then does she wake, drenched in a cold sweat. Her hair plastered onto her sweat-drenched face, eyes wild and filled with fear. Mouthing the words into the silence of her bedroom that the little girl trapped within her still whispers, ‘men are beasts’.

The End