Title: Endlessly

Author: DarkBard0

Fandom: Popular

Pairings: Brooke/Sam

Ratings: R

Feedback Email Address: ShalFoxB@hotmail.com

10:43am

‘’So you’re running away?’’

Lily was exasperated, appauled and astonished that her friend would do such a thing. Things had taken a rather large twist this morning.

After Sam had calmed herself down, she’d sat them down and started to explain everything. She started from the beginning, and went over all the important parts of the story. What was really important though, was what had happened yesterday. And what was going on now. Things were still trying to fall into place in Lily’s head.  It was difficult hearing that her best friend had been carrying on an affair with her other very close friend for somewhere along the lines of nine years. It was hardly surprising that she was beyond stunned and confused. It didn’t mean that she didn’t understand though. She knew Sam, and as she’d been telling her story, Lily had seen what she felt for Brooke. How could she be mad at that? Was it Sam’s fault she’d fallen for her? No. She wasn’t exactly pleased how the pair had gone about this, and she was pissed off neither one of them had said something before. If they had, this might not be happening. All they had needed to do was turn to them for help, but they hadn’t. But the past was the past, and Lily could only deal with what was happening now. Sam looked more vulnerable than she thought she’d ever seen her.

Sam was curled up in Josh’s arms on the sofa, quietly telling them what had happened. Tears were still slipping out every now and again, and she sniffled a lot too. Her voice cracked, her eyes dull and defeated. Lily couldn’t believe it. The proud, opinionated journalist she knew and loved was backing down. She’d thrown up her white flag and threw in the towel. How could she do that? It just wasn’t the Sam she knew. The Sam she knew would stand up and fight for what she wanted. It was so simple in Lily’s eyes, Brooke had to love Sam, or Sam wouldn’t have let the relationship even continue for this long, or even start it in the first place.  Somehow, it just didn’t register to them that they had been having a relationship for all these years. That’s all this was. They’d been away together, pulled each other through thick and thin, gone out together; it was something you didn’t do unless you were invested. So in Lily’s mind, she knew Brooke had to be invested. And she knew how devoted the lawyer was to Sam. Of course, before now she’d just assumed it was the closeness they shared because they’d bonded so much after the accident. Then they’d gone to college together and then started to work together. So yes, the schoolteacher had indeed thought that they were just best friends. Now though, thinking back she could see that it was clearly more than that. Suddenly, she began to remember the looks they’d given each other, the excuses to get away, the touches that lasted longer than they should have. How she hadn’t worked it out before she didn’t know, maybe it was just because she hadn’t been looking for it. Still the fact remained that she was sure Brooke loved Sam. The problem was, Brooke didn’t want to hurt George and that scared Brooke into denial. So why couldn’t Sam see that?

‘’I am not running away Lily. I’m just…retreating very rapidly.’’

Sam cringed at how lame that sounded. She felt obligated to defend herself, but she really didn’t have a defence. She was running away; convincing herself it was for all the right reasons, to spare Brooke the pain of it all. But really, deep down, it was because she was scared and hurt. She’d become so insecure of Brooke’s real feelings that she was frightened to fight for her.  Sam knew it would kill her if she continued to fight for Brooke and Brooke still couldn’t decide, or worse still picked George. When had Brooke McQueen become the centre of her life? Where had she been all this time?

‘’You can’t leave Sam. If you love her you have to fight for her.’’

Lily continued her argument. It was her duty as Sam’s friend to try and get her to stay and do what she should. Maybe it was the activist in her that had propelled her to do it so blatantly, either way she didn’t care. She just knew that she had to at least try and stop Sam from leaving. For them as well as her and Brooke. No one wanted Sam to leave. She was an integral part of this circle of friends; one might even say the lynchpin of it. Lily felt like she was her sister, and she was pretty sure that Carmen felt the same. Everyone loved her, and not one of them would want her to be gone. Things would be different without her, too different.

‘’I did! I told her everything I felt, I gave her exactly what she needed but she’s still with George. I get the message okay? I can’t stay here and watch her be with him I can’t.’’

The journalist yelled back, standing up and pacing to the other side of the room. She’d heard and felt her voice crack, because she knew she wasn’t strong enough to do what Lily was asking. She wasn’t strong enough to stay here and risk everything to end up seeing them still together. The journalist wished that she were strong enough. Wondered even, where her spine had crawled off to. The only thing she wanted was Brooke. But the blonde had made things so clear in her indecision. If she loved her back, she would have said so after hearing Sam’s own declaration. So yes, she might have been running away but it wasn’t like she didn’t have a reason.

Flinching as she felt a hand on her shoulder, Sam relaxed again as she turned to see it was Carmen. Looking at her pleadingly, she begged her silently to tell her what to do. Carmen saw how distraught she was yesterday; saw how far she’d been pushed. Surly she must have seen how close she was to breaking? That if she stayed here like Lily suggested it would snap her in half. The brunette knew she wouldn’t be able to mend herself after that. Maybe if she left she’d have a chance and be able to gain some closure somehow by starting a new life somewhere else. She could see her Mom for a while; maybe find a newspaper there. Or maybe she could take up the idea about starting a small business in Bali. Why not just swallow the whole biscuit and vanish into a place that would give her everything she needed to try and get some peace and perspective? She would miss her friends desperately, of course she would. They were like her family, they’d been through so much and been friends for so long. However, there were visits and letters. It wouldn’t be the same as being here but she didn’t have to vanish from them completely. As long as she didn’t have to see or hear how blissfully, happy Brooke and George were. As long as she didn’t have to see them day in day out, or stand and watch them have kids. That was something she just could not do. Her resolve on that was so strong that she was willing to go anywhere in the world to get away from it. She was a resourceful girl. She’d miss being on the paper, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t write. Maybe she could travel for a while, writing about each place. Moreover, she had lots of stories in her head that she’d have the time to work out. Her writing wasn’t just confirmed to journalism.

‘’She hasn’t actually said she doesn’t love you Sam. You can’t decide how it’s going to be for her. You’ve barely given her time enough to think about it. You know what Brooke’s like; she won’t want to hurt George, that’s probably what her indecision is all about. You can’t take it upon yourself to choose for her, it isn’t fair.’’

The police officer pointed out calmly. Considering she hadn’t been to bed she felt pretty awake. Bed was the furthest thing from her mind right now. This was urgent. She was on Lily’s side here. Sam was getting jumpy because Brooke hadn’t immediately known what to do. That didn’t mean she was going to pick George. The lawyer didn’t deserve to have her choice taken away from her. Carmen knew she’d be gutted to find out that Sam had just up and left. The journalist could be so damn stubborn sometimes. That’s where they came in. They had to try and get her to see that she was acting prematurely. It was her choice of course; if she still wanted to leave they had to respect that. But Carmen was sure going to put in her say to get her to stay.

‘’Yes I can. Taking myself out of the situation will take the pressure off of her. I do know what she’s like; she won’t want to hurt me. She doesn’t love me, and I need the distance to figure out how I can deal with that. Please, just let me go?’’

10:50am

‘’Where is she?’’

Brooke demanded, looking up suddenly as she sped through reading the letter Harrison had handed to her. With every word she read from Sam’s letter, the more she began to tremble. The looming weight that had been pressing on her, making her feel sick, was overwhelming now. Her mind was racing and she couldn’t stop the tears from building up in her panic ridden eyes. She was terrified that she wasn’t going to find her in time. What if she’d already left? What if she hadn’t told anyone where she was going? Why did she have to be so damn stubborn? A part of Brooke couldn’t help but be angry at the journalist. What the hell was she thinking? Why did she think she had the right to do this? She’d told her last night that she wasn’t going to lose her, she’d promised. How could she turn around and do this now? Clearly she couldn’t have been thinking. But this was a highly odd situation. Maybe Sam had just let her fear take over her? Maybe she just got confused over what Brooke’s hesitation meant? There were far too maybes in this.

Looking up at Harrison, her voice cracked slightly but still held firm. She wanted to know if he knew anything, and from the look that he was giving her she could tell that he did. He’d been surprisingly helpful so far. Brooke hadn’t really realised that as she’d been driving here. She could have been facing a very hostile Harrison. The need to find Sam had been overpowering, cancelling out any real rational thought. She needed to find her and this had seemed a good place to start. Brooke had tried calling her cell but the journalist had switched it off. Brooke had wondered if there could be any chance she was still here, still in bed maybe after yesterdays drinking fest. However the blonde knew that was a long shot. Still, she’d headed up over here. She was glad now that she had otherwise she wouldn’t have this letter. The one telling her that Sam was leaving. It didn’t say where, or how, but it said she was leaving. Sam had explained that she couldn’t tell her when she was going, because she couldn’t face the possibility that Brooke would show up to ask her not to go. It didn’t even seem to occur to her that the reason Brooke would ask her not to go was because she loved her. She just seemed to think Brooke would be trying to stop her as a friend. How stupid could she be?

‘’I…I promised her I wouldn’t say.’’

Harrison admitted weakly. He’d promised her on her own life that he wouldn’t tell anyone what was inside his letter. It had been a very eye-opening letter. Telling him all the things she hadn’t been able to explain to him. About her and Brooke, about how she couldn’t stand to stay around when she chose George, about where she was headed. Other things too, things that he’d never repeat because they were private. He knew now the two reasons she’d made him promise he wouldn’t tell anyone. The first, obviously being that she wasn’t taking the risk of being stopped. The second, well that was making sure he wouldn’t run off and tell George. If Brooke was to stay with him then she didn’t want him knowing. Harrison remembered the look in her eyes, and the way she’d said on her life. She knew those words would come back to him if he started to feel his walls break under the pressure of someone like Brooke demanding the answer from him. But then, wasn’t Brooke her life? Telling her would be breaking his promise, but not telling her may be even worse. What if Sam left and ended up not knowing that Brooke was looking for her? Would he be betraying her or actually saving her life? He guessed that depended on why Brooke wanted to stop her. If she were just alarmed as a friend, as someone else who didn’t want Sam to go because she belonged here, then no he wouldn’t tell her. If she wanted to stop her to tell her that she loved her, then Harrison would. Because he truly believed that leaving and not giving Brooke the chance to tell her she loved her would destroy her life anyway, so it wouldn’t matter if he broke his promise.

‘’Harrison please, you have to help me! She can’t go, she can’t leave me! She needs to know I love her! God, I was so stupid for not realising before, but I do now. She’s everything to me Harrison, and I’ll do anything to stop her so I can tell her that I choose her!’’

Brooke flailed her hands at him, waving her letter absent mindedly as she displayed what he wanted to hear. The sheer panic and conviction in her voice was enough to convince the blind and the deaf. It came pouring out of her as her distressed soul centred on him unwaveringly. Her usually radiant, glowing posture was overcome with fret and the look of devastation upon her face was heartbreaking. How could he not tell her? How could he not help her? Brooke may have been confused before, but she certainly wasn’t now. Perhaps she had just needed to come to terms with herself and her current situation slowly. Sam had gotten there quicker, but it didn’t say that Brooke had to be right behind her. So the journalist was acting without the full knowledge of what was happening. Harrison knew he couldn’t let her leave without giving Brooke the chance to stop her. It wouldn’t be fair on either of them. This was a rather odd, messed up and complicated situation. He should have been mad at Brooke, hell he should have been mad at Sam and himself too. He wasn’t though. He was compassionate towards them, and relieved that he and Sam had finally admitted that they were better suited as friends. Regret would always run through him somewhere, because the boy that had been in love with her would always remain in him. Sam would always be special to him like no other, but neither of them could make something work when it was never meant to. Maybe if he’d been brave enough to speak up earlier Sam would have been spurred on to telling Brooke much sooner. Who knew? What he did know, was that he couldn’t stand back and watch her leave.

‘’Her flight departs at 11:30. From there she goes home, and then she’s most likely going to Bali but she didn’t say for sure. She never answered me when I asked her when she was coming back.’’

So just like that Harrison leaked the privileged information that he’d sworn to keep secret. Rushing his words along in an attempt to tell Brooke quickly, he took in a breath as he watched his friends face pale. If he didn’t know any better, Harrison would have thought that the girl was a statue. Her body had become motionless, to the point he didn’t even think she was breathing. A crushed expression fixed upon her face and her eyes squarely fixed upon nothing in particular. She was terrified, he could tell that much. The realisation being brought home that Sam was actually doing this. That she was actually walking away from it all. The nurse guessed that deep inside it had to have hurt. But he also knew that somewhere inside of her, Brooke would understand the reasons. Even if she didn’t, he was sure that Sam would explain them to her when they caught up with her. And it would be when if he had anything to do with it.

‘’Oh…oh my god…we…we need to go. Now. We could just make it.’’

Snapping back into reality, Brooke’s voice croaked slightly from her daze before she cleared it. Glancing at the clock, she saw that they had nearly forty minutes to get to the airport. That wasn’t a lot of time considering that the lunchtime traffic would be starting to build up and the airport was thirty minutes away. Then of course she’d have to run as fast as she could to the gate where Sam would be boarding. She willed herself to continue on though. Refused to give up until she found and stopped the woman she loved. They’d been in a state of confusion and denial, playing a game so to speak, for the last nine years. Brooke would be damned if she’d let that end by letting Sam skip the country. She knew the journalist had to be torn up inside, but she didn’t know how Brooke felt. The lawyer just simply couldn’t let that happen. Not when she’d just realised that the only thing she needed was Sam.

11:15am

‘’Does your Mom know you’re flying in?’’

Carmen asked numbly as Sam stood up after the last call to board her plane. They’d been sitting there for nearly ten minutes now, barely saying a word. Truth be told, Carmen didn’t really know what to say. Everything running through her head sounded lame and stupid, so she’d remained silent. Instead, she sat across from her friend and studied her. The way she kept looking around, the way her hand kept moving to run through her hair, she jiggled her legs side to side and found just about anything to distract herself. Carmen could tell that the journalist was fighting with herself, confliction raging inside of her that she was desperately trying to ignore. The police officer could tell that Sam was looking around for a reason. Silently praying that Brooke might suddenly show up. Sam hadn’t though this through, how could she have? She hadn’t given herself chance to. It was an unfair thing to do, but Carmen couldn’t judge her friend for doing it. She had no idea how she would cope in the same situation. Things in her own love life were complicated enough, but now that she’d found out about this she’d come to a few realisations of her own. So maybe seeing a more complicated relationship had brought perspective to her, who knew? Maybe she had Sam to thank for that, but she’d still rather not be enlightened upon her own relationship if it meant Sam could stay. Friends were friends, they were your family. The family you got to choose. You were supposed to stand by them, help them out and stick together. Carmen reluctantly supposed that’s why she was here. Respecting Sam’s wishes and sticking by her. That’s why Lily was here too. Neither of them wanted to be here, but short of kidnapping Sam and locking her away until she could talk to Brooke they couldn’t really stop her. It was her choice, and she needed their help to carry it out.

‘’No, I’ll call her from the plane. I’m sure she’ll be happy enough to see me, until she gets an explanation that is.’’

The journalist replied distractedly, again looking around the part of the airport she stood in. No sign, but what did she really expect? So she answered Carmen’s mundane question, mumbling the last part as she thought about the talk she was going to have to have with her Mother. Sam wasn’t stupid; she knew her Mom was going to ask why she was suddenly on her doorstep. The journalist tended to think that she gained a lot of her initiative and inquisitiveness from her Mother, so it was safe to assume that she’d be bombarded with questions. That, and she simply couldn’t keep it from her. Sam felt lost, like she was walking up a path she’d avoided for years and she was doing it by herself. Maybe some time at home would do her good. Maybe her Mother could work some of that natural, parental magic that made everything seem that little bit better.  Jane wasn’t the kind to snub Sam for being who she was. Whatever her sexual orientation, Sam knew her Mother would support her. Of course, she’d get a little telling off for the way she’d conducted herself, but that much she knew she deserved. Apart from that, she expected to find some kind of answer there. Or at least hoped to. Though with her luck she’d be looking for a while. Because she had no idea how to go about getting herself over Brooke.

‘’It’ll be okay Sam; you know what your Mom’s like. You promise you’ll call us when you land?’’

Lily interjected, disturbing Sam’s moment of reflection. A huge mound of unease had started to weave itself into her stomach. For the past ten minutes or so, she’d felt like she’d eaten lead, her stomach was that heavy. Now, it was starting to move throughout her, telling her that something was wrong. The feeling was starting to make her feel sick, and frustrated. Of course she knew something was wrong. She was about to leave the life she knew. The life that she’d built with her friends. She was leaving her home, her career, her family and she was leaving Brooke. All in all, it added up to there being something wrong.

Forcing herself to stay in reality rather than her thoughts, the journalist smiled knowingly as she stepped forwards and wrapped her smaller friend in her arms. Lily had fought so hard to get her to stay, just like the little activist she’d grown up with. She was glad that Lily would never change in that way. And she was grateful to have her fight so hard against her, it only showed how much she cared, even if they’d been yelling at one another. It all meant something to Sam, and she knew she’d never forget it.

‘’Tell Josh and the kids to behave, and that I love them. You keep marching to your own drum Lily, I better not come back to find a push over! Look after everyone for me too. Make sure Carmen tells what’s-his-face that she likes him, cos she’s being a big scardy cat! Make sure Harrison doesn’t get into trouble, and check out this new chick okay? And Brooke is gunna have questions, just…just tell her I’ll always be there for her and I’ll always be keeping and eye on her. I love you Lily.’’

Lily held onto her friend tightly, listening to everything she said. Sam’s voice had dropped low, an emotional, sad crack running through it obviously. The schoolteacher couldn’t and didn’t want to stop the tears from falling out of her eyes. Why should she try to hide the fact she was crying when she was losing her best friend? The term ‘losing’ was correct too, because however much Sam assured them she’d be back, she wasn’t so sure she would be. Maybe she would, after she’d gained what she was seeking. But something told Lily that it either wasn’t going to happen, or it would be a long while until it did. She knew her friend, and Sam wasn’t going to get over Brooke. She may have only known about their affair for a couple of hours at best, but she could plainly see what was inside of Sam.

‘’I love you too.’’

Was all she could croak out as Sam pulled back and kissed her affectionately on her forehead. Dark chocolate eyes sparkled with tears; almost masking the pain this was causing her. Almost, the shiny reflective surface of her eyes wasn’t good enough to mask anything completely. Including the fact that Sam was trying so hard to keep herself from falling to pieces.

Nodding lightly as she sniffled, Sam turned to Carmen. The police officer was already crying, and as she centred a despondent look at her, Sam nearly broke. Somehow though, as she wiped at a few of her own tears before walking the short distance towards Carmen, she managed to keep it together. It was harder than she had anticipated, but again what had she really expected? A cheery send off? For this to be easy when they all said ‘see you soon’? No, because it wasn’t true, that wasn’t happening. Each one of them knew what they were saying goodbye to.

‘’I’m depending on you to keep Lily strong. I want you to be the same. Take care of our friends, and make sure you take care of yourself. Don’t take any silly chances out there okay? Don’t be scared to fall in love Carmen, it’s the best thing in this world. I couldn’t have wished for better friends, thank you for being here for me. I love you so much, and I’m gunna miss you.’’

Again, Sam wrapped her friend up tightly, holding on for all she was worth. Her departing words were full of sincerity, possibly even wisdom. She really did think love was the best thing in the world, it offered so much. It didn’t matter what kind of love it was, because someone always gained. Like her now. Because her friends loved her, they were here supporting her. So no, she really couldn’t ask for better friends because she knew she had the best already. Like she’d always known. So her advice was serious. She didn’t want Carmen taking stupid risks out there on the job, it was dangerous enough. And maybe her parting words about love would help her go on and tell the guy at her station that she liked him. They were just friends, but Sam knew they could be more. Carmen was scared, understandably because she’d been burnt before. But love was a risky business, and the journalist would advise it to anyone.

‘’I love you too Sam, you better take care of yourself too. Don’t get so lost you can’t come back.’’

Sam pulled back, nodding seriously at Carmen’s words. She understood what she was saying. Telling her not to lose herself out there, lose herself so badly she’d never be the same person she was. Well Sam already knew she couldn’t be the same person she was, but she didn’t have to change into a completely different one, nor did she intend to.

Stepping to the seats to grab her bag, her eyes looked around again. She didn’t know why she was doing it, but she couldn’t stop herself either. Feeling a deflated sigh moving through her, she knew that this was it. Looking back at her two friends, who were now leaning against one another supportively, the journalist smiled again. Her classic enigmatic and charming smile, but with the underlying sadness there. Lifting up a hand, she waved and began to walk towards the desk in front of the doors to the passageway that would take her to the aircraft. The attendant there smiled at her kindly as the journalist slipped over the required documents. Tears were still brimming in her eyes before sliding down her face, and she wondered how many of these emotional displays the woman had seen through her job.

‘’Are you sure about this Sam?’’

The brunette turned at Lily’s question, knowing that her friend needed to ask at least one more time. The pair stood together looking over towards her desperately, pleadingly even, because they didn’t want her to go. It wasn’t making things any easier for her, but she valued it anyway. And she couldn’t help but scoff at the question lightly. Not at Lily for asking, but because of her answer to it.

‘’No, I’m not.’’

After that, Sam turned back to the attendant as she handed back her documents. Scratching up enough momentum to move, she began to walk forwards. With each step she felt herself become number and number, then sicker and sicker. If she hadn’t known any better, she’d swear that her very soul was being torn into to along with her heart.

11:30am

Harrison had no idea how Brooke had managed to drive them here so fast without being pulled over or dying first. The blonde had refused to slow down, pulling crazy moves and generally driving like an absolute maniac. He’d tried to get her to slow down, pointing out that they couldn’t stop Sam if they were dead or in jail, but it had no effect. Not that he’d been able to blame her. She was fighting for a damn good reason. He couldn’t help but see it as rather romantic and noble, however scary it was. He was pleased for Sam that she’d found someone willing to push so hard to get to her. Someone that would follow her to the ends of the earth to simply tell her that she loved her. Even if it was Brooke. Not that there was anything wrong with that, he mused. Still, it was surprising. Something he could get used to very quickly though. He wasn’t the kind of man to hold a grudge. So Brooke had been sneaking about with his ex fiancé for a very long time, could he blame her? Sam was easy to fall for.

Now, he found himself running through the airport, possibly faster than he’d ever run before. Still, he was some distance behind Brooke. He guessed that all those morning jogs and previous cheerleading had done her a world of good because she was bombing it up ahead. People were jumping out of their way quickly, annoyed that the pair were bombarding through the otherwise peaceful and smooth running airport. He didn’t care about that; he just cared about getting to the gate Sam’s plane was at. It was a thin line they were battling against, because he knew that the plane was possibly taxiing down the runway by now. However quickly Brooke had driven, in her highly alarming state of frenzy and emotion, it hadn’t been fast enough to make it here on time. In honest opinion, Harrison seriously doubted that anyone could have matched, or done any better than she had, even if she had been crying at the time.

‘’Stop…you can’t go up there. Ma’am, Sir stop!’’

Both Brooke and Harrison ignored the yells from one of the security guards that they had bolted past. It didn’t even occur to them that they had torn past any kind of security checks without being cleared or showing tickets and passports and what not. Frankly, neither of them cared very much, especially Brooke. There was no way she was going to chance Sam’s plane leaving because she was messing around trying to convince the security to let her through so she could stop her. Never in a million years would they have agreed to that. So there was only really one thing she could do. Run like the dickens.

Harrison meanwhile, didn’t have so much luck. As the two men began to run after the fleeing pair, he felt one of them grab a hold of him. He hadn’t done too badly though, he could see the gate that Sam was leaving from, and the plane was still right there in front of the building. Maybe they were running late? It didn’t matter, what mattered was that the plane was still there, which meant if they hadn’t closed the doors then Brooke was still in with a chance. Given the speed she was running at, it seemed highly likely that she was going to outrun anyone who even tried to get in her way too.

‘’Brooke…hurry!’’

Harrison shouted as he battled to get out of his captors grip. The man holding him back must have been at least twice his size, a huge man with a build that would be expected from a boxer. Harrison struggled, but he wasn’t getting out of his grasp anytime soon. All that mattered was the other one didn’t catch up with Brooke. The only problem was, the attendant to the gate had shut the door already, and there were two more security personal with her.

Even though everything seemed to be going quickly, Harrison began to feel like he was in one of those moments in a film when things turned into slow motion. He could see Brooke running for the door, the guard chasing after her. The thing he became aware of next was the plane started to move. From the huge window that looked out onto the runway of the airport, his eyes bugged wide as the plane started to reverse out and away from the building. It was leaving, they were too late. There would be no way they would stop that plane simply to let Brooke see Sam now. As it stood at the moment security were probably going to haul them off someplace and demand to know what the hell was going on. By the time they could rationally tell them that they were only here to stop one woman from leaving she’d be high in the air. They were simply too late, even if Brooke hadn’t registered it yet. Harrison began to switch his gaze from the retreating plane to Brooke, who was now almost in hysterics. She’d slowed as she’d gotten to the gate, trying to explain to them how important it was for them to stop the plane. The three security guards were looking at her as if she was mental, but the good thing was they weren’t dragging her off somewhere.

‘’You don’t understand, I have to speak to someone on that plane. You can’t let it leave!’’

All four staff members shook their heads simultaneously at Brooke’s demand. One of the security officers still had a hand clamped onto her arm, just to make sure she didn’t try and do anything else. The lady attendant had begun to explain why they couldn’t stop the plane now, but Brooke didn’t hear any of it. All she could hear were dull, echoing sounds as her mind pushed everything out until there was only silence. A deafening silence that made her feel empty and alone. Turning, the lawyer shrugged out of the officers grip and moved for the window mindlessly. She wasn’t even aware that he was telling her to stop, still unsure about her intentions. Not hearing his order, she kept moving forwards until she came face to face with the glass. Through watery green eyes, Brooke focused on the plane. Without hesitation, the huge aircraft began to plough down the runway until it lifted up into the air. Up into the air taking Sam with it.

She was gone. Sam was gone. It was the only thing Brooke could comprehend right now. That flying piece of metal had her girlfriend in it and it was taking her away. Brooke knew that by the time she could organise to follow Sam to Jane’s, the journalist would be gone. To where? That was a damn good question. She really wouldn’t be found unless she wanted to. Though, she had to tell someone. Harrison had taken pity and broken his promise, someone else would too. Just as soon as they realised that Brooke had to find her. But these thoughts hadn’t even occurred to her yet. All she could feel, all she could think was that Sam was gone. That simple truth had engulfed her, dragging her into another world that she didn’t want to be in. Immediately, her body felt like some kind of shell. Like its whole purpose of existing had abandoned it, and now it was alone. Her mind wasn’t much different. All she could hear was silence, and all she could think was how alone she was. It was simply too much. She couldn’t deal with this, she wasn’t strong enough. She couldn’t deal with anything around her, any of the life outside of her own shattered and empty mind. Sam was gone.

12:30pm

Carmen had been the first to get to the door. As she’d been staring out of the window, aimlessly wondering what was going to happen now, the police officer had seen Brooke’s car begin to approach. Part of her had been expecting her arrival, had considered exactly what she’d say to her friend. She hadn’t come up with anything yet though, she was hoping she’d have back up on it. Undoubtedly the girl would be looking for answers. By now, she had to have figured that Sam was nowhere to be found.

But, as Carmen opened the door, she frowned deeply. She watched with confusion as Harrison almost threw himself out of the driver’s side, running around to open the other door. Carefully, he helped Brooke get out. What was going on? Why was Harrison helping Brooke? Why was he driving her car? Why did Brooke look like she’d just been run over by the biggest truck known to man? Carmen was getting more and more confused with every question that ran through her head. Today had been one of the most confusing, shocking and emotional days she’d had for a very long time, and it was only just lunchtime.

Walking Brooke up the path towards the front door carefully, Harrison noticed he was being watched. From the doorway, Carmen was peering at them with the clear signs of bewilderment smeared across her face. He wondered for a moment if she knew anything about this. Though reasoning told him that Sam would have at least gone to say goodbye. Surly she would have given them some kind of explanation?

‘’Need to get her inside.’’

The nurse muttered, guiding Brooke past Carmen and into the house. Ever since the airport, Harrison’s talent for nursing had kicked into autopilot. Brooke had been, plain and simply but, a complete wreck. He’d watched her, as she’d stood pressed by the glass, watching Sam’s plane fly into the distance until she couldn’t see it anymore. She hadn’t uttered a word, just stood there trembling like a leaf in the wind. Her sad, green eyes fixated onto the plane until it had vanished. After that, nothing. The lawyer hadn’t spoken, hadn’t moved. It was like someone had snatched the life out of her, so Harrison had taken over. He’d explained briefly to the security staff what the commotion was about, and they’d reluctantly let them go with a warning never to let it happen again. They’d let the nurse take Brooke away, probably because not one of them could take the devastated look upon her face.

The blonde had spoken not a word in the car. She’d simply hunched down into her seat, the side of her head pressed up against the glass of the window. She’d never stopped shaking, and she’d dropped paler than Harrison thought healthy. Still, he could sympathise with her condition. He didn’t feel exactly like Brooke did, but he was upset too. To be honest with himself, he didn’t think he’d want to know how Brooke felt. Didn’t know if he could deal with feeling what she was feeling right now. Never the less, he’d tried to tell her it would be all right. He wasn’t even sure if she’d heard him or not. There wasn’t one sign that she had acknowledged his words, no response what so ever. That’s why he’d decided to drive her to Josh’s house. Harrison had seriously doubted that his house, which was full of things to do with Sam, was appropriate. Or her house, full of things to do with George either. So going to Josh and Lily’s had seemed like the logical option. They could help him with her, no matter how much they knew about what was going on.

‘’Oh my god…Brooke…what the hell happened?’’

Lily had been walking around the corner but hadn’t expected to come face to face with a very despondent Brooke. At her sudden shocked outburst, Brooke looked up slightly to regard Lily. As soon as she did, the numbness that she’d been feeling since the airport shattered. Instantly, she felt tears rushing up into her eyes, and her resolve broke immediately. The gushing sensation of pain built up within her and she hated it. All she felt like she wanted to do right now was scream. Things had gone from bad to worse. Why had Sam left her like that? Surly she could have talked to her about it? Why had she given Sam reason to leave like that? It was both their faults and nobody’s fault at the same time.

Lily sprung into action quickly, moving in to wrap Brooke into her arms for a moment. The blonde held onto her tightly, burying her face in the smaller woman’s shoulder. The schoolteacher’s body shook as Brooke’s did, and she could hear the muffled sob coming from her shoulder. Brooke knew, how did Brooke know? Sam had said that she’d left a note for her with Harrison, but in all honesty she hadn’t expected it to happen this fast. And she hadn’t expected that Brooke would have called or gone to see Harrison considering how risky it could have turned out to be. Still, she was here, and he was too. Looking a little overwhelmed actually. Running a hand over his face, he turned to Carmen slightly as she put an arm around him affectionately. A move that he looked grateful for. Lily wondered what was going on, but there was a certain inkling moving up inside her that told her she might be able to guess.

Silently, Lily manoeuvred Brooke so that she could walk with her outside. The lawyer didn’t object, just kept sniffling and crying over Lily as she was taken out into the garden. Brooke had a feeling that her sister-in-law was taking her to see Josh, which was something she knew she could do with right now.

‘’Brooke, hey what’s wrong?’’

Josh had been playing with the kids outside until he’d caught movement in the corner of his eye and turned around. Standing up properly as he saw his sister in such a state, the man moved towards her quickly. He watched her as she wiped at her tears aggressively, and tried to catch her breath long enough to talk. She looked awful, the only time he’d seen her anything near as bad as this had been the accident. He felt his protectiveness over her move into place, something that he could never help. Even when they’d been going out, or just been friends, he’d had this overwhelming urge to protect Brooke. Whether it was because she’d gotten him through some hard times in his life, or because of her previous eating disorders or the crash, he didn’t know. He didn’t really care to tell the truth. All he knew was that he wanted to make sure she was okay, and when she wasn’t he hated it.

‘’I lost her Josh. I took too long…and I…I…she left me. I tried to stop her, we went to the airport. It was too late the plane was leaving. She left and…she doesn’t know I love her. I told George everything and all I want is her. She means everything to me, but I was so stupid about realising that. I need her so much; I don’t think I can live without her. She’s everything I need and because of my own stupidity I lost her.’’

Brooke cried as she blurted out her rant. As she said the words, the meaning of it all slammed into her again. Sam was actually gone. Flying away from her, getting away from her. Brooke didn’t know whether she could stand that. Didn’t know if she was actually strong enough to not have Sam in her life. Even when they’d been arguing in school before any of this, they’d still been in one another’s life. The lawyer couldn’t remember a time when Sam hadn’t been there. Apart from now. And it was all her own fault. She’d hesitated; scared the other girl into thinking the only thing she could do was leave. Through simple reasoning, Brooke should have been able to work out that she loved Sam back. Why else would she have been with her for all these years? Why would she have continued with it if she hadn’t felt something so huge for her? Brooke scolded herself inwardly, wishing that she could have had her little epiphany much earlier. What was the point of having one if it was too late, wasn’t the point of epiphanies to get you to realise something just in the nick of time? Well, it had backfired in her case. She’d confronted her demons far too late, and the love of her life had slipped straight through her fingers. Now she was lost, she had no idea what to do. She didn’t know how to conduct her life now. Didn’t know how to go about finding Sam. She could go to Jane, sure. That was an option. Hopefully, the woman would take pity on her and tell her where the journalist had gone to hide. But right now, it all felt hopeless. Brooke couldn’t help but wallow in the pain and the bitterness of her situation. Why shouldn’t she have? She’d just lost the one person she needed most.

‘’No, you haven’t.’’

Or not. Feeling her heart stop, along with her lungs, Brooke fell silent and still. Was she so engulfed in her pain that she was actually hallucinating, or was that her voice behind her? It couldn’t be, could it? No, she’d seen the plane leave. If Sam were in that airport, surly they would have seen one another? Brooke had watched the plane leave, that was that. She couldn’t be here. Was everything so messed up in her head that she believed she was? That she wanted it so badly her little fragile mind was telling her she was? Why couldn’t things be simpler? Why couldn’t she just choose and know for once. All her life she’d been shoved into the front seat of a never-ending roller coaster. The blonde felt like she’d never really been able to breathe. It was always one thing after another after another. She’d lost Sam, so why couldn’t her head just accept that now? After all, it had been her head that had caused it. Due to its own stubbornness and stupidity, right? That’s what had sent Sam away.

Part of Brooke didn’t want to turn around out of fear that Sam wouldn’t be there when she did. As much as she thought that it was only her cracking up into a crazy lunatic, some part of her couldn’t help but indulge in the thought that Sam was standing behind her. That she was here, and her chance to tell her that she loved her was here too. What had happened at that airport? How, if Sam had decided not to go at the last minute, had they missed each other? Had Sam really ever gone to the airport? Was it all a ploy to make her realise what she felt? In that case, Harrison would have been in on the plot too. Or not. Brooke didn’t know anything anymore. Her world was literally turning upside down. She’d never expected anything like this when she’d wondered what her future would hold back in high school. She’d never imagined getting run over, or getting involved with Sam, or marrying George, or this. She’d never imagined falling so hard for someone that you questioned your actual sanity when you thought they were standing behind you when they were meant to be gone. It wasn’t a giant leap to accept that the journalist was indeed here. Anything could have happened. But still, Brooke was terrified that it was only in her mind.

The other side however, wanted to know. Wanted to look and make sure that what she heard was real. Her body was begging for her to turn around, her eyes desperate to confirm what her ears had heard. Desperate to look at Sam, perhaps for the very first time without any guards up, no safety nets or indecision. This was it. She did realise that too. That this, if this were all real, would be the very first time she could look at Sam without any interference from anything else in her life. She’d just be a girl, standing in front of the woman she loved. No pretence. Everyone so obviously knew what was going on. So no, there wouldn’t be any pretence. No ‘we’re just friends’, no small talk about stupid things because they were so nervous of letting something slip, the truth was out. The truth was out and Brooke felt free. She felt good about that. So maybe things were simpler for her? Now that she’d come to terms with certain things she could feel good about it? All she’d needed to do, all these years, was just be herself. There hadn’t been any need to try and be anyone else. No need to try living up to other people’s expectations. If only she’d realised that sooner. But she hadn’t, and she was here now. Perhaps that was how it was supposed to happen? Who knew? All that mattered was she knew who she was now. She knew how she felt, and she knew whom she loved, and none of it made her ashamed. So, she was free. Free to be herself and free to love. That person just so happened to be a girl, who cared? Not her.

Sniffling before she turned around quickly, Brooke’s heart began to thump against her chest as her eyes settled upon Sam. So, she was here. Either that, or Brooke really had gone crazy and she was seeing things. But the lawyer was leaning to that Sam was here. She wasn’t crazy, because Sam was standing before her in all her beautiful glory. Plus, everyone else was looking at her too. So Brooke figured it couldn’t just be her. The very fact that Sam was here gave Brooke pause. Not because she was unsure of how she felt, or unsure what she needed to do, but because she just wanted to take a moment to look at Sam. How she’d ever considered herself a ‘mutt of society’ or ‘an ugly sister spawn’ Brooke would never know. Sam was simply divine. That dark, elusive look would have Brooke trapped forever and she knew it. They belonged together; it was so obvious to her now. Everything about them complimented the other. Sam was dark, she was bold and passionate and witty. Brooke was light; she was bouncy and polite, firm when she had to be. Everything about them rounded the other off.

‘’You’re here.’’

Brooke couldn’t help it. Before she could stop herself the obvious point slipped out of her mouth. Lifting up her arm, she pushed the tears away so that she could concentrate properly. She barely even noticed that Josh and the others started to go inside, giving them some privacy. Neither did Sam considering that she was looking between Brooke and the grass she was standing on. Her teeth were biting her bottom lip gingerly, dark chocolate eyes flicking too and fro guiltily. The journalist didn’t seem to be able to stand still either. Shifting her weight from foot to foot, clamping her hands together in front of her. Her entire posture was one of uncertainty, fear and guilt. Who knew their roles would swap so severely? Brooke was now the one so sure and Sam was the one left wondering. Ironic really. Everything between them had turned full circle, and now Brooke knew it was her job to pull it all together. Sam had done her part, repeatedly. Now, she was so unsure that she’d nearly left. Though, that fact seemed to be the one praying on her mind, making her feel guilty. She’d nearly walked away from what she wanted. In fact, she’d boarded the damn plane. Her heart had nearly wedged itself into her throat until she couldn’t take it anymore, and she’d decided that she just couldn’t leave. That it would crush Brooke too much for her to live with. That she needed to make sure what was going on. Lily and Carmen had been right. It hadn’t been fair for her to do it. Eventually she’d seen that, just in time. It wasn’t easy to come back, but it was even harder to try and leave.

‘’Yeah…I er…I couldn’t leave. You…I couldn’t leave you.’’

The journalist stated weakly. A simple response, but why elaborate? That was the pure truth. She hadn’t been able to leave Brooke. Did she really need all the other details? Now really wasn’t the time that she felt she could start to bare her soul. She’d done that already. She’d told Brooke exactly what she felt, exactly what she wanted. After that, she was still standing. She was still around because she couldn’t possibly leave without giving the blonde a real chance to think about that. Sam had decided, sitting there in her plane seat next to some old guy that kept leering at her, that she’d be betraying everything if she left. She’d betray herself, Brooke and everything she felt for her. A young girl had been on that plane too. One that had stared at her before plucking up the courage to come up to her, a well used scrapbook type thing in her hands. Are you Sam McPherson? The girl had asked. Sam had lifted an eyebrow, wondering how this young girl could possibly know her name. Never the less, she’d nodded. The girl had simply smiled, looking so pleased that she was right. I want to be a journalist when I’m older. I read everything you write; you’re my journalistic idol. I think you’re one of the bravest writers around, pushing for the truth even if it puts you at risk. The words had echoed within Sam’s head. This girl thought she was brave. In reality, she’d caught her running away. Running from a possible truth that was putting her at risk. And here was the girl, admiring her for standing her ground. If that hadn’t been a wake up call, Sam didn’t know what was. She’d gladly signed the scrapbook the girl had, that had been full of various newspaper cut outs from all over, and talked to her for a moment. Even offered the girl to come visit her at the paper sometime. She’d remember her name, which she did, and she’d be glad to see her. After all, unintentionally she’d given her a kick up the butt to get off the plane. It had been a surreal but valued experience.

‘’When I thought you’d gone, a part of me, if not all, died Sam. I couldn’t contemplate anything beyond that moment, because I didn’t know how to continue without you here. I’ve never been too quick on the uptake, not with things like this. Part of being blonde I’m sure! But I realised this morning, something that I’ve known since I first set eyes on you in kindergarten. We’re meant to be together. Things got so messy along the way, but this is now. I did pay attention then, because everything you said that you wanted, I want it too. All of it. I want you. I want an us. I want to do all the stupid couple stuff, and I want the chance to grow old with you. All I know is that I’m happiest when I’m with you. That when you look at me, or smile at me, or touch me, my heart skips and my breath catches. No one has ever made me feel like you make me feel, and no one knows me like you do. I know I could make you happy. I know I could take care of you. And I know that I’ll love you for the rest of my life. I’m sorry that I ever made you doubt that. But I’m going to devote the rest of my life to making sure you never need to again. I love you Sam.’’

Sam couldn’t help but stand there trembling lightly. Brooke had moved to stand right in front of her, locking her into an eye contact she couldn’t break. Not that she wanted to break it. The words Brooke was saying were written in her intense green eyes, speaking exactly what she was saying. It may have sounded corny to anyone else, but Sam knew that Brooke’s words were being delivered straight from her heart, her soul. That’s why she felt like they were the only people on the planet right now. Brooke was concentrating soulfully on her, and that’s the way it was going to be from now on. No one else was would be worthy enough to be on the blonde’s radar, because she loved her. It made Sam feel like the most important girl in the world.

The very fact that Brooke was using exactly what she’d told her, word for word, made Sam want to cry. Actually, she was already, but it made her want to actually cry, not let a few tears slip down her face. She considered it one of the most romantic things Brooke could have thought of, because it showed her that the blonde had taken it all in to the point of memorising it. The fact that every word she was saying never faltered or hesitated, didn’t get thought about or questioned, was exceptional. Not only that, but each and every word was full with love, honesty and sincerity. Brooke wasn’t faltering because she was telling the truth, she was feeling the truth. She didn’t need to think about what needed to be said, what she wanted to say, because it was all right there inside of her. There were no doubts, no confusion or fear. Just overwhelming love and devotion. The kind you swooned at in the movies. The old fashioned kind you saw in the old films that you cried over cuddled up on the sofa with a big tub of ice cream. The kind of love that never ended, that people called true and referred to as finding ‘the one’. And it was the best feeling in the universe.

After standing there, taking that in whilst seeing stars, Sam came back to a very welcoming reality as Brooke brushed against her cheek gently. Blinking a couple of times, the journalist looked up to see the most beautifully sparkling eyes she’d ever looked into. That sparkle was there because of her. That sparkle was there because they were free. That sparkle was also there, because they were happy. Sam never wanted that sparkle to leave. Like Brooke had just told her she’d devote her life to making sure she never doubted her again, Sam vowed to herself she’d devote her life to permanently keeping that sparkle there.

Brooke closed the small gap between them, so very thankful that Sam was here in front of her. Placing the lightest, softest kiss on her lips, she couldn’t help but liken it to the very first one they had shared. So long ago, when they’d been so unsure of themselves and what to do. It had been so tender then, just like it was now. Full of promise, full of knowing and love. It was representative to everything they’d already been through, and what was ahead for them. Whatever the world had to throw at them, they could handle it, because they would be together. Things were how they were supposed to be. They were amongst their friends; their family, and they were together. It had taken them a while but still, here they were.  Their story was starting a new chapter and both of them were excited about where it would lead. Though for now, they were just glad to be right where they were, sharing a soft kiss. Pulling apart, full of hope and excitement they were content as they wrapped each other in their arms, holding on tightly.

‘’I love you too Brooke. Endlessly.’’

The End.