Title: Countdown To Midnight

Author: Casandra

Email: Casandranow@aol.com

Completion Date: August, 2004

Disclaimer: Well unfortunately I don't own them. That honor goes to ABC, Agnes Nixon, and other people that certainly aren't me.

Rating: PG-13, I'm not one for graphic stuff.

Warning: If the thought of two consenting woman being in a relationship bothers you, this isn't your cup of tea.

Distribution: You can find my work at Realm Of The Shadow (www.realmoftheshadow.com) and my own archive, No Other Way (http://bwnootherway.cjb.net) Anybody else who wants it, feel free, just drop me a line to let me know where you're taking it.

Feedback: I'll give you a cookie. Ok, well maybe not, but I'd love to know if you liked it. Or not so much. So drop me a note.

Pairing: Bianca/Maggie

Summary: Jumping off of Maggie's sudden absence from the carriage house after Bianca went boom.

Author's Note: Ok, confession time. I've never written anything outside of primetime drama ficcage. That only includes Buffy, Roswell and Popular. I've been told though that I have a knack for the best friend pairings. So I figured since I've been so caught up in the goodness of BAM lately that I might as well try my hand at it. Fair warning, I tend to write completely in the first person. So please let me know if I'm getting inside Maggie's head deep enough, or if I'm poking around in the wrong places.

Credits: Songs used in this fic are credited to Clay Aiken, Celine Dion, Live and LeAnn Rimes, in that order. I’m just borrowing them, being the big ole music nut that I am.

What are you doing tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Still in your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm screaming
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...

"Oh now that's just perfect!"

I reach up the couple of shelves and angrily turn the radio off. If my mood wasn't bad enough, that stupid DJ just had to play that song, didn't he? If these last couple of weeks haven't been hard enough, I just had to have the radio on. I just needed to calm my nerves didn't I? Story of my life. Bad timing, wrong people, wrong feelings. I've been feeling neglected enough lately, and that song certainly did nothing to make me feel better about this entire situation.

Of course that's assuming that I want to even acknowledge that there is a 'situation', which if I used my head instead of my heart, I would be sitting here not having a care in the world. But nope, I had to let that infamous Stone barrier down. Just enough so that I'm completely miserable right now. Love is hard enough, just normal family love. Or better yet, even friend love. It's when you mix the two together that you end up with a whole big mess of complications. And that's exactly what I've gone and done. I tried so hard, denied myself for so long, but in the end, the heart really does want what it wants. Even me, who was completely determined to never cross that line, has managed to go tumbling head over feet right past it.

I've managed to fall in love with my very best friend. My pregnant, semi romantically involved already, best friend. If I'm completely honest with myself, which seems to be a habit of mine these last few weeks, I can admit that I was already in love with her last winter. Even when I said I wasn't. Maybe if I really want to push it, I didn't exactly lie that day at the boathouse. I never said I wasn't in love with Bianca, I said I loved her a few times in fact. I just *had* to tack on those three incredibly stupid words though. 'I'm into guys'.

Ok sure, I've had relationships with men before. And yeah, my entire history in the romance department has been with the male species. But I have never, ever, felt as connected to anyone as I do to Bianca. It's almost like a force of nature between us, the chemistry, the spark, that I feel everytime I'm in her presence. It's so hard to describe because I have absolutely nothing whatsoever to base it on. But I know it's there, and I know it's real. And I know it's like nothing I've ever experienced before. And it's without a doubt something I'm not willing to give up without a fight. Especially not to someone who started her relationship with Bianca as a con to help her future rapist.

Bitter much? Absolutely. But it goes beyond that, because if I honestly put myself to the test, I'm not good enough for Bianca either. Although I'm of the thinking that no one would be good enough for as pure a soul as her. She radiates goodness, it's like a beacon that shines from her eyes. The warmth and love in her heart is endless. And sometimes I worry that her kindness is going to get her into trouble with the wrong person. Because not everyone appreciates the beauty of Bianca. Case in point, Michael Cambias. If I had to do it all over again, I would never have backed off with that knife at Erica's non wedding. Self defense would have been in the back of my mind. I wanted to make him hurt the way he made my Bianca hurt. But having her standing there terrified, my only thought was to protect her from the immediate danger. And the idea that she would have to witness her best friend commit an act as brutal as what Michael did to her? I don't even want to think about the fallout that would have caused.

It's of no consequence now though, someone made sure of that. I'd like to pretend that I care who murdered that sick bastard, but I don't really. Sure I could make a few guesses, it's easy enough considering how long the suspect list is, but it wouldn't really matter to me who it was. Because as long as Michael Cambias is burning in hell, just like he should be, then I can be at peace with the situation. Bianca on the other hand seems less than satisfied with the investigation. Because she knows that whoever did kill him, more than likely did it for her, to protect her. And again I come to the thought that I wish it *had* been me. Bianca knows I love her, of that I'm sure. After everything that we've been through together the last six months, she absolutely *has* to know that. But there are times that I think if I had been the one to take Michael out of this world, she might understand just how deep my love for her runs.

But that's a completely irrational thought. Because the only thing it would do is cause her to look at me with something akin to disappointment. And that's putting it mildly. Bianca, no matter how much that man hurt her, would never condone a murder. So in the end, I would have lost her for good I think. Which makes me wish sometimes that Lena was the actual murderess. It would be so much easier than actually having to compete with her for Bianca's heart. Because I'm honestly not sure at all where I stand in the grand scheme of chances here. I blew my first chance with Bianca almost a year ago. Blew it because of fear, because of doubt, at this point I'm not even sure myself anymore why I said what I said that day. All I know is that I regret it. And regrets get you nowhere. I've figured that out the entire time I blamed myself for not being there for Bianca while I was all wrapped up trying to prove something with Henry. It doesn't change anything, it doesn't make anything better. And it certainly doesn't take any of the pain away, in fact it can make it all that much worse. So I've stopped regretting the things I've done, and most of all, the things I've prevented myself from doing. If I want to be with Bianca, to prove to her that I love her, that we can be just as great together as she thought we would be last winter, then I'm going to have to be proactive about it. And sitting here listening to the radio and running loops around in my head is not getting me anywhere. It's time to take the Polish fox to task.

~~~~~~~

I must have fallen asleep on the sofa, because the last thing I remember before passing out is clicking off the radio and coming to a few conclusions in regards to my love life, or lack thereof. I feel a soft tickle on the side of my cheek, and I wonder if that gas explosion blew out a window in the apartment that I hadn't noticed, letting a small draft in here to waft over me. I begrudgingly open my eyes, still half asleep, and mentally exhausted after last night, to the vision of an angel before me.

"Hey there sleepyhead." Bianca is still stroking my cheek as I move to sit up a bit. Well I don't have to worry about that blown out window. Her touch was so soft and gentle it really did feel like wisps of air floating across my face.

"When did you get back?" I try desperately to keep the edge out of my tone. The last time I saw Bianca she was snuggled down on the couch at the Chandler carriage house, making google eyes at Lena. I had about as much as I could stand after an hour, when I told Bianca I was leaving to get a jump start on the cleanup at our apartment. I gave her a quick hug and bolted out of there as fast as my feet would carry me. If I had to bear witness to one more of Lena's adoring looks directed toward Bianca, I knew I would do something stupid. And I did clean almost all of the mess up. Everything is back in it's rightful place, there's just a lot of dirt clinging to things that really needs to be scrubbed. And I really did mean to get to it last night. But Bianca thoughts just kind of ran away with me. That's been happening to me a lot lately. When I study. When I'm in class even. Thank god finals are over, or I'd be in a whole lot of trouble right about now.

"Just now actually. Maggie, you did an amazing job with this place! How late were you up working on all of this, you look completely exhausted!" Bianca scoots my legs more towards the back of the couch so she can sit on the edge next to me. I can feel the heat, the spark, passing between us. It's always the same, every single time our bodies touch. A wave of heat passes from her body to mine. I wonder if she feels it too?

"Nah, I'm fine. It wasn't too late when I must have dozed off. I wanted to make sure everything was as back to normal as I could get it before you got home." The last thing she needs right now, being in her second trimester already, is to come home and have to clean up after an explosion. God, only in Pine Valley.

"Maggie," She pauses to trace the black circles I know have to be under my eyes. "You know you didn't have to do this all alone. I could have helped you today."

"No way Bianca, I wasn't about to let you go traipsing around this apartment picking up after a gas explosion when you're almost 6 months pregnant!" That is something that I was certainly not willing to do, even if it meant she spent all that time with Lena instead. Speaking of that. "What time is it anyway?"

Bianca, who's hand moved from my face to my shoulder sometime during my little outburst, lifts her other hand up and checks her watch. "A little after eleven, but that's besides the point. Maggie, you're not my babysitter, or my bodyguard for that matter. I'm not an invalid, I can still do things that require a little physicality you know."

Well I certainly hope she wasn't busy doing anything physical last night with Lena while I was here busting my butt to get this place fixed up for her. Wonderful, now I have those lovely images running around in my head. Perfect way to start off this day, that's for sure. And I know I may be a bit overprotective of her, but it's only because I love her so much. I don't see her jumping all over Lena when she makes a comment about her health. Yep, there's that familiar pang of jealousy again. God, I'm starting to get way too many of those lately.

"You know I just worry about you Bianca. I'm sorry if I've been all mother hen around you, but you have to take care of yourself. And if that means I get a heavier workload when things happen, then so be it." I pause and lean over, placing my hand gently on her midsection, where I can feel under the material of her shirt, the slight slope of her expanding belly. "I just want to make sure this little bambino and her mommy are in perfect health. Can you understand that?" I glance up to meet her eyes, taking in the glorious depths of her chocolate orbs. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and in this moment, I am a definite believer. There is nothing but pure love and kindness radiating from hers, and that is the epitome of who Bianca is.

I'm so entranced that I barely have time to register what she's doing before I feel her vault herself into my arms for a huge bear hug. We've been very affectionate lately, to the point where we almost always in physical contact when we're together. It's actually something I've come to treasure these last few months. "I understand, I really do. I'm sorry I snapped, it's just been a strange morning already, and with everything that happened yesterday, I feel a little off balance." She pulls back to look me in the eyes again. "I don't know what I'd do without you here with me Maggie. You're my rock, you know that?" And before I even have a chance to acknowledge that I do in fact know, she pulls me back into the hug. Not that I'm complaining of course. Being in Bianca's arms is like heaven on earth to me. There's really nothing like it in the world. Or at least, in MY world. So I'm content to stay here for as long as she allows.

"Oh that reminds me!" I can't imagine what hugging me reminded her of. Now I'm curious. "I talked to Mom this morning before I came home. You know, I bet if I had my cell with me she would have been calling me all night long!" Bianca has a very good point. Although, I might have been doing the same thing, just to make sure Lena wasn't putting the moves on her while she had a concussion. Whoa hey look, there's the little green guy again. Ugh. "Did you know there isn't going to be a Crystal Ball this year?"

"No, how come?" That kind of sucks, because I would have loved to see Bianca all dressed up for a New Years party. Although it would have been rather hard to hide her growing tummy in what I could imagine her wearing.

"Not sure really, but Mom said there's some big party at the Valley Inn instead. Apparently Uncle Jack already asked her to go with him. Isn't that great Maggie!?"

"Wow, so they might just end up together after all. But wait a second, what about David?" As much as I'm not a fan of Erica and my cousin dating, I don't want to see him hurt either. And I know he has a antagonistic relationship with Jackson at best. I'm sure he's not going to be happy when he hears about this.

"Actually, I never thought of that. Sorry Maggie, I was so excited about Mom and Uncle Jack that I didn't even consider where David fit into all this." Aww, now I made her all upset. Can't be having that.

"It's ok, I'm sure he'll be fine. After all, from what I've been told, he's had his share of partying the last few years." Oh boy the stories I've heard about David. And yet, I still love the guy, for as wicked as some of the schemes he's pulled, he's always been right there for me. And for Bianca now too.

"That's for sure!" A giggling Bianca is probably the most precious thing there is. When she laughs she sounds like she's five years old again. Before the cruelty of the last few years had their chance to make their mark on her innocent soul. I hate that she laughs less now, it breaks my heart to think Michael took part of that innocence away from her. "So anyway, I was wondering if you'd be my shopping buddy. I need to find a dress that won't show my little bundle of joy here." She reaches down and mimics my actions from before, gently tracing the contours of her stomach. I guess I will get to see her dressed up for New Years after all.

"Sure, but you know, you ARE Erica Cain's daughter. I wouldn't think you'd need my help picking out clothes."

She rolls her eyes playfully at me. "Maggie, you're coming to the party too." Bianca pauses for a minute. Actually, I didn't realize I was being invited. "You are coming, right? I can't spend New Years without you, especially considering what we've been through together this last year. We have to be together on New Years Eve!" Well now, how can I say no to that? Like I would really want to anyway. Spend the night here alone holed up in front of the TV watching Dick Clark and his wife making out when the ball drops in Times Square. Or spending the evening with Bianca. Tough call, really.

"Well when you say it like that, how can I refuse? Actually, I can't think of a better way to spend the night, just the two of us." Ok, what did I say? Bianca looks incredibly uncomfortable all of a sudden. I thought she wanted me to come?

"Actually Maggie, it won't just be the two of us." Huh? Ok, she's completely lost me here.

"But you just said......."

"I kind of have a date for the party, Lena asked me this morning if she could escort me."

"Oh." Wait a second! This morning! As in Lena spent the entire night with Bianca? Ok, calm down Maggie, maybe she just went back this morning to check on her, like I should have done if I hadn't been snoozing away here on the couch. "So Lena came back to the carriage house this morning then?" That has to be it, right?

"Umm, no, not exactly. Lena actually spent the night with me there."

I can literally feel my heart shattering within my chest. I never realized how close I really was to losing her all over again to Lena, not at least until this very moment. So much for being proactive about winning her heart. It looks like my chance is gone before I even had it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, I just don't get Maggie lately. One minute we're sitting here on the couch together, next thing I know she's bustling around the kitchen making coffee. I keep getting this strange vibe off of her, and it's the strongest whenever I mention Lena. Or more precisely, anything having to do with mine and Lena's relationship. Maggie gets all nervous, and that's putting it rather mildly. It's like she does anything she can to tune out any and all details when it comes to us. And I just don't get it. I understand that she's not the biggest fan of Lena, but I just assumed that stemmed from her overprotectiveness when it comes to me.

As much as I can get annoyed at the constant hovering, I have to admit that having Maggie all worried about me warms me to the core. Knowing that she's there for me, whenever I need her, and that she loves and cares for me, it's like nothing else in this world. Sure, everyone has been very supportive, Mom, Kendall, Uncle Jack, Lena. But no one has come close to what Maggie has done for me. The only reason I'm still here, still safe and sane, and carrying this baby, is because Maggie supported me. She made all the difference for me these last six months.

So now I can't help but worry because it feels at times that she's pulling away from me again, the same way she did last winter after our talk at the boathouse. Oh how I wish I hadn't pushed her to define our relationship. I've regretted that day ever since it happened. I've always wondered, even when I was with Lena and Maggie was with Henry, if I hadn't pushed her, would things have progressed past friendship between us naturally. There are times, especially in the last few weeks, that I feel like Maggie could want more from me than what we have now. I know she'd never make the first move. After everything that's happened since this summer, if I know anything, it's that Maggie would never take a chance on something that she thinks could ever possibly hurt me.

Of course I'm probably just full of wishful thinking. I'm slowly starting to work towards getting back together with Lena, and all I can seem to think of lately is where Maggie and I stand. I love Lena, I really do. The real question is, am I IN love with her? And is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time. I don't think so, and that's what leads me to believe that while I may love Lena, I can't possibly be in love with her. Considering the fact my heart is still completely owned by my best friend. Who just happens to be avoiding any eye contact with me whatsoever as she putts around the kitchen getting me all my morning vitamins that she insists I take. And of course decaf coffee, can't forget that it's decaf. I spent the first few weeks after Maggie found out I was still pregnant going through caffeine withdrawal because she watched me like a hawk when it came to coffee and soda. I was really quite annoyed with her at the time, but now it's just all that much more endearing that she was taking care of me, and looking after me and my little girl here when I was too overwhelmed by everything to even think about things like that.

I stand up from the couch and head over to the divider between the living room and the kitchen, leaning against it and continue watching her fly about getting everything ready for breakfast. Before she has a chance to actually start cooking something though I stop her. "Coffee is fine Maggie, I already ate."

"Oh."

Again with the single word answers. What is up with her? "Yeah, Lena and I stopped off at BJ's before she dropped me off and we got some pancakes." I look directly at her as I say it, watching for any kind of weird reaction, the type that seem to be happening more and more frequently.

She stops pouring sugar in her own coffee for a second and meets my glance. "So I guess you guys are back together again?"

What do I say to that? I know what Lena wants. And we do technically have a date for New Years Eve, one of the most romantic nights of the year. But are we back together? Not quite yet I don't think. And one of the main reasons why not is standing five feet in front of me, looking incredibly vulnerable all of a sudden.

"No, not really. It was just breakfast Maggie, you and I have breakfast almost every morning together." If I stop and think about that, sometimes we remind me of a domesticated married couple. Oh how I wish.

"It must have been more than just breakfast, you said she spent the night with you Bianca." Well now, there was no hiding the irritated tone in her voice that time. What in the world is up with her? Ohhh, wait a second, she thinks Lena and I......that we.....oh boy!

"No! Well I mean yes, Lena did spend the night, but not like you're thinking. We didn't........ she slept in another room, nothing happened." And to be honest, it's really not any of Maggie's business if I got back together with my girlfriend or not. Like I told her before, she's not my keeper. But there's something going on in that beautiful head of hers that makes me want to reassure her. I just wish she'd open up to me and tell me why she's acting the way she is. We used to be able to share everything with each other, no secrets. But the last month or so that's changed. She's guarded around me for some reason.

"Oh." She places my coffee down in front of me as she says it. God, when did she become so monosyllabic?! Enough with this.

"Ok, what in the world is up with you? First you bolt out of the room every time Lena and I are together. Then you just take off last night barely saying goodbye to me before you were out the door."

"I told you I came back here to clean up so you wouldn't have to!" Maggie cuts me off.

I wave my hand in the air to stop her before she can jump into her defensive mode. "I know, and you did an amazing job. But Maggie, it's not just this. Something is going on with you, I can tell. I've known you long enough that I can easily see when something isn't right. And I'm positive it's not the third wheel thing that you keep saying. There's something else going on." I pause and look down a bit, trying to conceal the hurt I know is shining through in my eyes. "We used to be able to tell each other anything, what's changed?"

Maggie puts her coffee down and walks over to me, taking my hands in her own in comfort. "Nothing has changed Bianca. I just, I have a lot of stuff going on inside my head, but it's nothing for you to worry about. I just have to deal with it on my own."

Now that's where she's wrong. After everything we've been through together the last six months, does she really think I'm going to let this go so easily? I need her to know that I am fully capable of helping her handle things, just like she's helped me. "Maggie, I don't want you to have to deal with things on your own. That's what being best friends is all about, I thought I had drilled that into you by now?" I tried to slide a little humor into the conversation, because I'm starting to feel like there is a much deeper issue here, and honestly, I'm not sure either of us is ready to get into something like that now. Not after all the trauma of last night. And if I want to be honest, I still have a bit of a headache from that concussion.

Maggie refuses to meet my gaze and to my disappointment, pulls her hands free from mine. "Look, lets just drop it for now, ok? You were hurt last night, and all this arguing can't be good for your head." Here I didn't realize we were arguing. But she does have a point. The stress is starting to make my headache turn into a bit of a throbbing pain behind my eyes.

"Alright fine. And you're right, my head is starting to bother me a bit." Before I have a chance to even try and rub away the tension, Maggie is pulling me off the stool and guiding me back to the sofa.

"Come on, sit down and let me see." I don't even have a chance to produce a mild protest before she has my head in her lap, massaging my temples and gently running her fingers through my hair. Not that I would have really minded this anyway.

That's one of the things that I absolutely love about living with Maggie. Ever since we moved in together, the lines between us have blurred to the point that we're almost as intimate as any domesticated married couple. Of course with a few exceptions here and there. Exceptions that I have to admit, if included, would make this living arrangement completely perfect. But our relationship has become rock solid. At least I think so. And for that, I couldn't be more thankful, even if the circumstances that brought us here were so painful.

Maggie's magic fingers have me almost lulled into a light sleep when I feel her shift a bit to look me in the eyes. "Does it really mean that much to you if I go to this party or not?" I can't help but smile a bit at the sound of vulnerability in her voice.

I'm tempted to move from my position to face her directly, but I'm just so content to stay where I am, my head cushioned in her lap, that I decide staying right here isn't a problem. "Absolutely. Maggie, you are a huge part of my life." I stop for a moment, trying to decide if I should say what was ready to come out. At this point, it doesn't really matter, because part of me knows, or at least hopes, that she already understands it. "In fact, next to this baby, you're the most important thing to me. You know that right?"

I look into her chocolate orbs and I'm surprised by the silver tears starting to edge their way out. Maggie isn't the biggest crier, so I know when she does that something really must be getting to her. As the tears one by one start to slowly trace a salty track down her cheek, I reach up and gently stroke them away, cupping her face in my palm in the process. "Mags, shhh, don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

She sniffles a bit and reaches up to scrub away the tear streaks. "No, it's ok. It's just, I didn't know that, I didn't realize I was *that* important. But now I do. And you know I without a doubt feel the same way, don't you Bianca? You and this little girl of yours." Now that I did know. She shows it to me in everything she does. And I love her so much for it. For everything.

And it still amuses me how she's completely convinced that I'm having a girl. I don't know why she's got it into her head. Not that I'm complaining, because I'm hoping she's right. I'd love to have a baby girl. Even if I won't be using Maggie's suggestion of Latifah as a name. I have been giving it some thought though, and I'm honestly tempted by Margaret. But I think that might be pushing it. There's only room for one Maggie in my life, besides the fact that it might be rather telling if I named my child after her. I love the idea of Mona as well, I loved my grandmother so much, and honoring her that way would make me feel that much closer to her. Then of course there's Frankie, for a boy or a girl really. Sometimes the guilt sets in though, reminding me of the fact that I fell in love with my dead girlfriend's twin sister. But I know Frankie understands. I also know though that she hated the name Mary Francis, so I'm thinking Frankie would have to be for a boy. I wonder how Maggie would feel if I named my baby Frankie? Other than her joke about Latifah, we've never really discussed names. Maybe she felt it wasn't her place?

"Ok."

Huh? I'm a bit lost here. Although to my own credit, I was off in my own head for who knows how long, so I at least have an excuse. Not a good one, but one just the same.

"What?"

"I said ok. If it really means that much to you, I'll go to the party." Before she has a chance to continue I throw myself into her arms for a huge bear hug.

"Thank you Maggie! You don't know how happy I am!" I reluctantly break away from the hug to give her a thousand watt smile. "So whaddya say we go shopping this afternoon for dresses? Just the two of us?"

"Not before you go and take a nap to get rid of that headache. Besides the baby, you need to take it easy after last night." I pout a bit, but I suppose she's right, I really don't want to overdo it. And after all, she is the future Doctor Stone, so I guess I really should be listening to her.

"Fine, but as soon as I wake up, we're hitting the shops to look for the perfect dresses. You're going to need to help me make sure that I don't get something that shows I've got a baby on board." The last thing I need is for someone to notice that I'm starting to show at this party. And with Mom and Uncle Jack coming, I know I have to be extra careful. So who better to have with me then Maggie.

:I get up off of the couch to go lay down on my bed, leaning down as I do so to give Maggie a quick peck on the forehead. "Thank you so much Maggie. You'll see, it'll be a great time. The best New Year's yet!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know how I let myself get talked into these things. No wait, that’s not true. I know exactly how it happens. Because I just can’t say no to Bianca. Whatever she wants, she gets, at least when it comes to my willpower. So that’s why I’m sitting here in one of the numerous boutiques downtown, waiting to see what Bianca comes up with next for me to wear. Not that I’m all that bored really, because at least I’m getting see her try on different dresses of her own. That’s been really quite fun, I have to admit. If I thought she was gorgeous before, she’s even moreso now, almost six months into her pregnancy. She really is glowing. I wasn’t making that up when I told her that all those weeks ago. And add to the fact that she’s been changing in and out of all sorts of glittery evening gowns, well then, glowing certainly seems like it applies.

"Hello, earth to Maggie. You in there somewhere?" Bianca jolts me out of my daze with a small tap against my forehead.

"What, are you surprised it's not hollow?" I smirk up at her, until of course I get a better look at what she's wearing. My God! She looks phenomenal. Not that she doesn't normally of course, but wow, that dress is just amazing!

"So, what do you think?" For emphasis she does a little twirl to show me the 360 version. Yep, wow, that's about as articulate as I can get right now. This one is definitely the keeper.

"I think that this is definitely the dress you should wear. I mean come on, you look downright hot!" Ok, I did NOT just say that, right? I mean sure I was thinking it, but I do have some self control. At least I used to. The sensor should still be up there, filtering which things I can and cannot tell my incredibly gorgeous best friend.

Bianca blushes a bit, before tucking a small strand of ebony hair behind her ear. She really must be trying to turn me into a puddle of mush here. "Really? You can't tell little Latifah here is on board can you?"

I giggle a bit at that for a moment. I love how we keep referring to her with my little joke after all these months. Poor kid though, really. "Absolutely not, it hugs in all the right places, but it keeps her well hidden. Don't worry about it at all Bianca, you look absolutely stunning." I'm certainly not holding back with the compliments today it seems. But maybe that'll help Bianca to come back out of her shell. It's slowly starting to happen, has been for a while now. But every little bit helps I suppose.

"Maggie......." Again her cheeks turn a sweet shade of pink.

"Binks, come on, that's the one!"

"Ok, if you insist. I just hope Lena likes it."

Ouch. I have to admit, that hurt, it really did. All of this just to make sure Lena likes her outfit? Please. The only person who needs to be comfortable wearing it is Bianca. It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. If I would have known she was dressing for Lena, I would have grabbed that gray velvet long sleeved dress. Something my grandmother would have worn. Not what Bianca has on now. Whew boy, there's my little green friend again.

"So, now that we have my dress we need to find one for you. You're so picky Maggie, I swear it'll take us until New Year's just to find something you like." Bianca smacked my arm a bit in playful exasperation.

"Well I'm starving, so no more hunting for the perfect duds until after a big plate of nachos at SOS, what do you say?" I extend my elbow out to her as she picks up her dress bag from the clerk.

"I'd say that I love how your mind works!" Bianca replied looping her arm through mine and pulling me towards the door. Ohh boy, if she could read my mind lately, I'm not so sure she'd be feeling the same way.

We make our way down the block to my car, still walking arm in arm. Just as we reach the curb and I go to unlock the passenger side for her I feel her tug me on the arm to halt me. "Oh wait a second! I left my wallet sitting on the counter in there. I'll be right back Maggie." She goes to walk back to the store when I pull her back towards the car, opening up the door for her and ushering her to sit.

"You wait here and take a load off. You've been on your feet all afternoon, I know they must be killing you by now." She blushes a bit at that, telling me what I already knew. She's just too stubborn to admit that this pregnancy really is starting to affect her day to day life. Two months ago we could have spent all day off at the Jersey shore walking the beach all day. Like we did last year during summer break. Now though, she needs to take it easy. For both her and her daughter's sake. And of course, Aunt Maggie makes sure of it.

I close the door to the car and turn around, trotting back to the dress shop midway down the block. As I walk up to the counter the clerk behind it gives me a small smile, while she bends a bit under the counter to retrieve Bianca's forgotten wallet. "I had a feeling someone might be missing this."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Thanks for putting it in a safe place though."

"Oh no problem miss, it happens more often than you'd think. It was very sweet of you to come get it for your girlfriend though." Well I know it's not the first time that's happened, but it still throws me off whenever someone misinterprets our relationship. One of us usually corrects the person. With Bianca out in the car though, what's the harm, right?

"Anything for my girl." Well now, that certainly isn't denying anything. But really, that's how I feel, even if Binks' isn't technically 'my' girl. Yet.

I thank the sales woman again before hurrying out the door, eager to get back to Bianca. Plus, I really AM pretty starved. Just as the door is closing behind me though I hear it. That unmistakable accent. I turn around slowly, dreading to see who I already know is on the other side of the glass. Lena and I look gazes for a split second. One thing I've always disliked about her most is that I can never seem to read her at all. But I'm not having that trouble right now. Pure green fire is spitting from her eyes, locked onto me like heat seeking missiles. Not wanting to subject myself any longer, I quickly close the distance to my car, hopping into the driver's side and gunning the engine, not even taking the time to hand Bianca back her wallet until I'm safely at least a block away from my previous parking space.

"Maggie?" I glance over to Bianca, handing her back her forgotten wallet in the process.

"Something up Binks?" I knew she was about to ask me if I was ok. So why not beat her to the punch.

"I could ask you the same thing. You came out of that dress shop all freaked out."

Like I can really tell her that her almost-but-not-quite-girlfriend overheard me telling the sales clerk that she's my girl. Yep, that would go over so very well. "Everything is fine, you know how I get when I'm hungry."

"If you're sure..." I can tell Bianca doesn't quite believe me. But now is not the time to go into all of this. I'm sure Lena will have a few words for me next time I see her. Oh boy, this New Year's Eve is certainly going to be interesting. For all of us.

~~~~~~

I had just finished applying the final touches to my makeup when I heard Maggie yell for me to hurry it up. For about the tenth time now. I mean really, it's New Year's Eve, a girl has got to look her best. Besides the fact that I have to take extra care to make sure that everything that shouldn't be visible, stays completely hidden under my ensemble. It's times like these that I'm very happy to be the daughter of Erica Kane, the great fashionista. At least it taught me some tricks to her trade.

On my way out of the washroom I grab the wrap I planned to wear tonight. After all, December in Pine Valley has been known to be rather nippy. And the last thing I need is to come down with a cold right now. And if I wouldn't have thought to wear something over my dress, Maggie certainly would have. Nothing seems to get under her radar when it comes to making sure I'm taken care of. Just yet another reason why I love her so much.

"Bianca! It's already almost 10! At the rate we're going we're gonna miss the........." Maggie stops mid sentence as I walk out into the living room to meet her. I never realized how well she can do a fish out of water impersonation. Although I suspect I must be doing a fair good job of that myself. She just looks absolutely stunning!

"Wow, I mean, just wow! Bianca, you look positively gorgeous!" I blush at that, nervously tucking a errant strand of hair behind my right ear. I don't understand, I mean, she was with me when I bought the dress, she's seen me in it before. Why the sudden glassy eyed admiration now? Or period really. Although I can't remember ever seeing Maggie look at me quite the way she is right now. I can feel my heart start to beat a loud cadence within my chest. The look in her eyes as she stares transfixed at me is both un-nerving and incredibly exciting all at the same time.

"Maggie stop, you've seen me in it already. You don't have to lay it on so thick!" I giggle a bit to cover my nervousness. But I suspect she can probably see right through me.

Maggie crosses the distance between us quickly, but once she reaches my side I can see she hesitates a bit. "I'm not exaggerating at all Binks. You look radiant." She reaches up a bit and ever so softly runs the back of her fingers across my cheek. "Lena is the luckiest woman in the world tonight." She pulls her hand away quickly, almost as if she had been singed by our contact. And for the hundredth time in recent weeks I wonder just what is going on between Maggie and Lena. I'm sure they think I don't notice the tension that exists when all three of us are together. But honestly, it's very hard not to. They really don't hide it all that well.

"Well Mags, you don't look so bad yourself." And that's putting it very mildly. I wasn't with Maggie when she got her dress. After our nacho binge I started getting a little tired. And Dr. Stone wouldn't even think of going shopping for her outfit until after I had come home to get some rest. Even though I had slept a bit earlier in the day. She finally convinced me that she'd just go the next day after having lunch with David. Although I was disappointed that I wouldn't get to help her pick, the surprise more than makes up for it.

"You think?" She looks at me questioningly, running her hands over her hips in silent appraisal of herself. Come on, can she not tell that she looks totally amazing?! I never realized how good she looks in purple. Although now that I think about it, I can't remember ever seeing her wear much of the color. The dress itself is a form fitting number, with a deep V cut in the front, revealing her year round tan, not to mention plenty of cleavage. I can't help but concentrate on that fact for a moment. Until I'm pulled out of my rather naughty thoughts by Maggie's insistent perusal of her body. I never thought she was that insecure when it came to how she looked. Well it's time to stop that right now.

"Maggie, you look downright hot!" I reply forcefully, but with a small smirk etching across my lips. Did she really think I'd forget she called me hot in the dress boutique? Besides, it's fun throwing the stuff she teases me with, back at her.

Maggie starts giggling a bit, but I can still see the touch of pink on her cheeks. Oh yeah, I got her! "Ok, now that we've sufficiently boosted each other's ego's, are you ready?" She extends her elbow out to me, and suddenly I'm flashing back to Prom night. I remember doing the exact same thing to her that night. Maybe it's the formal wear, or maybe it's just the slightly mischievous smile on my best friend's face. But if tonight is anything like that night was, it's sure to be one to remember.

I loop my arm through hers and still attached, turn around to lock the door behind us. "So tell me again why Lena is meeting us there?" Again!? This is at least the fifth time I've explained to Maggie why we're meeting at the Valley Inn instead of the three of us all going together. I swear, each time she asks, she sounds more and more nervous. I'm beginning to wonder if they had an argument that I wasn't privy to.

"Ok, for the absolute last time. She had a job interview down in Philly this afternoon, and instead of making me wait in case she got held up, she told me to just have you take me and we'd meet there." I have to admit, that it was an awfully flimsy excuse. Especially on such short notice. The interview probably didn't just come out of nowhere, so I can't understand why it would have taken her until this morning to let me know about it. Again, I can't help but think that something happened between Maggie and Lena. Between Lena's sudden job prospect and Maggie's incredibly suspicious behavior, you'd have to be blind not to notice that something was up.

"But she IS meeting us there?"

"Yes! Maggie what in the world is going on with you?!" Normally my patience is never-ending, but this is just getting to be too much.

"What? Can't I just be concerned about you? I mean it's not the nicest thing to leave your girlfriend alone on New Year's Eve just for a stupid job." Yikes, could she spew just a tad bit more venom into her words?

"First of all, she is NOT my girlfriend. You know that. Second of all, she did NOT leave me alone! Do I look like I'm alone here?" I glance over at her in the passenger seat of the car, our conversation certainly not speeding us along to the party. So as I argued with her I started making my way to my car. Thankfully she didn't fight me on who got to drive. Otherwise I think we'd still be standing in front of our apartment door. "Maggie come on, would you please tell me what's going on. And I'm not an idiot, so don't even try to dodge around it." I turn to her and gently plead with my eyes, trying to get her to open up to me. It hasn't been this hard in months. Ever since my attack, Maggie and I have been glued to each other's hip, and we've been able to share just about everything with each other. I've never had a more open relationship with anyone, the way I do, or if right now is any indication, did, with Maggie.

"Bianca, it's nothing, really. I just want to make sure that she takes good care of you, that's all." Maggie turns to meet my gaze as I hand the valet my car keys.

I walk around to the passenger side of the car where Maggie is waiting for me, taking both of her hands into my own warm palms. "Maggie, *you* take good care of me. Like no one ever has. Unless of course this is your way of getting out?" With that I drop her hands and head into the lobby of the Valley Inn, leaving Maggie standing out in the cold. If she wants to pull away, then I can do the same thing. I don't like stooping to this level, but it's the only way I can get her to open back up to me. And finally get her to share what's been going on in that gorgeous head of hers these last few weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh God! Please don’t let her be thinking that I want to get away from her! That’s the absolute last thing in the world I would ever want. Doesn’t she know that by now?

I guess not, considering that I’ve totally clammed up the last month or so. As well as we know each other, I can’t expect her to be able to read my mind. Well, now that I stop and think about that, I’m certainly glad she can’t. She’d be the one begging to get out of this friendship if that were the case.

“Miss? Miss, it’s awfully cold out here. Maybe you should be heading inside?” I’m broken out of my internal panic by the older gentleman standing inside the valet booth. And I realize that I must look like a complete idiot, standing out here staring into space. I smile slightly and wave my hand to him in thanks, before heading into the lobby, casually glancing around to make sure no one I know saw me making an ass out of myself out front.

”Maggie!” Oh no, this is the last thing I need right now. Especially if she saw my little show outside.

I turn around to see Erica marching towards me, Jackson in tow. Well at least she’s not scowling at me, that’s a good sign that I’m not in for some tongue lashing. “Erica, what’s up?”

“Maggie, have you seen Bianca? She said something about coming with you and Lena.” I can’t help but smile internally at the way Erica almost chokes out Lena’s name. I guess that’s at least one point in my favor. Erica approves of Lena about as much as I do.

“Yeah, we came together. Lena’s meeting us here. Why, is something the matter?”

“Oh no, nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to know how my baby was doing. I haven’t really gotten to see much of her since Christmas.” I can’t help but feel a little sad for Erica. Bianca has been distancing herself from her mother, moreso now than before. She doesn’t want to take the chance that Erica will notice her ever-growing belly. “Tell me Maggie, is Bianca doing ok? I know she confides in you, and I know that you do everything in your power to make sure she’s looked after.” I glance up at her sharply when she says that. Oh boy, I think Mama Kane might be on to me, if that look is any indication. “It’s not Lena is it? Are they seeing each other again? Is that why she’s been so unreachable lately?” Ok, how do I manage to get myself into situations like this? Oh, that’s right, by getting into a fight with my best friend! Nice going Maggie.

“Really, it’s nothing I’m sure. She’s been doing just fine, I promise.” I glance up and see my salvation making his way into the ballroom. “If you’ll excuse me I see my cousin over there. I’d like to go wish him a Happy New Year.” I smile at the couple before dashing off to catch David before he can get lost in the crowd of party goers. "David!"

"Hey Maggie! Long time no see." He reaches out and grasps me up in a big bear hug. David gives some of the best hugs. Of course maybe that's because he's one of the few people in this world that I know loves me, so that just makes them all that more special to me. But I can't help feeling a bit guilty at his words. I know I've cut him off a bit the last few weeks. I honestly can't say why either, except for the fact that he knows me almost as well as Bianca does. And that worries me because David is probably one of the first people that could figure out that I've managed to fall head over heels in love with my best friend. The interesting thing though, is that I'm starting to feel like maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing anymore. David loves *both* of us, so he might just be the ideal person to talk to about this. He'd have an unbiased opinion, and he can really be insightful when he wants to be.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just there's been a lot going on lately." Maybe I should have phrased that better, because he immediately gets a panicked look across his face.

He gently ushers us to a much less crowded area of the ballroom, making sure that we're not overheard. "Is not the baby is it? Because I told both you and Bianca, if you need anything, no matter the time or the place, please don't hesitate to call me."

"David, it's not the baby, don't worry." I reassure him before he go off on a tangent. "Besides, you know me. Do you think Bianca could even have a tiny cramp and I wouldn't be waking you up in the middle of the night to get your butt over to our place?" I chuckle a bit at that, trying to lighten the mood. Bianca and David made a point of telling me, repeatedly, that I'm almost like an expectant father when it comes to Binks and the baby. I of course laughed it off, explaining that it was simply because I was doing my best friendly duty. I couldn't possibly tell them that I in fact *do* feel like I should be playing the role of partner to Bianca's pregnancy. I can't help but feel that way. I love Bianca so much, in every conceivable way, and I love this child that she's carrying almost as much. I honestly couldn't think of anything better out of life than raising this child with her, together, as a family. And like a bucket of ice water is thrown onto my head, I catch sight of Bianca sitting at a table across the room, welcoming Lena with a warm hug.

"So Maggie, what is it then?" David's question pulls me out of my rapidly darkening thoughts.

"What's what?" I respond distractedly, still watching Bianca and Lena from my position in front of David. It certainly looks like they're engaging in an intense conversation. Wonderful, they're probably declaring their never-ending love for one another. Happy New Year indeed.

"Ah, I get it now." I remove my gaze from the presumably happy reunited couple to see what David means. But as I do so, I see his eyes are fixed upon them as well. Uh oh, I think I might just be busted.

"What do you get?" Playing coy never hurt anyone, right?

"So you obviously haven't told her yet. Is that what the problem is?"

"Told who what? David, what in the world are you talking about?" Yep, I'm so busted.

"Maggie, don't try to con a con. I can see right through you. Actually, I have for months now. I certainly didn't think it would take you this long though. What in the hell are you waiting for?" Months?! He could have said something! Here I've been agonizing over this, by myself. for so long, and he knew the whole time! Wait a second, how did he know?

"Fine! Just what is it you think you know?" Still doesn't hurt to have him explain it to me. It at least takes the pressure off me to put something into words that I'm not sure there are even enough for.

"Ok kiddo, sit down and talk to me. Why are you acting like it's this big secret that you're in love with Bianca?" Well he's certainly not pulling any punches, and he has me dead to rights really. But hello! It IS a big secret, why is he acting like it's NOT? Oh god! What if it isn't? What if I haven't been hiding it nearly as well as I assumed I was.

"What do you mean it's not a secret? I haven't told anyone that I'm in love with her!"

"Nope, but you just did." David smirks a bit and takes a sip of the scotch he's been holding. That little sneak! Really though, what can I expect from my cousin, always the scoundrel. But I have to admit, it feels good to say it out loud. Really good in fact.

"How did you know?" I whisper to him, feeling like I've just been relieved of the weight of the entire world. I think I have a new appreciation now for what Atlas felt like.

"I've honestly suspected it for a long time now. In fact, I was shocked that after the Prom you guys didn't start dating. I just figured that with all the baggage with Frankie, and then when, well, when Leo died............" David stops a bit, trying to push down the sorrow still so close to the surface over his brother's death. "I thought maybe you two were just taking things slow, not jumping into anything. But I knew something was really wrong when I noticed you and Henry together."

"Yeah, not the best couple of months of my life." I honestly think that Henry helped me on my path to finally admitting to myself that I had much more than friendly feelings for Bianca. The few months I spent with him, even considering all the crap the guy put me through, it made me realize that it wasn't about male or female, gay or straight. The labels just don't apply to me. I honestly don't know what I am really. There's just one thing I'm certain of, that I'm completely and totally in love with Bianca Montgomery.

"I'm not even going to ask why you dated him, when you obviously had feelings for Bianca, even back then. I'm sure I can take a guess."

"Denial, plain and simple. I got scared, Bianca pushed to define our relationship and I just wasn't ready. I liked that zone that we had been in. I didn't want to move out of it until I was absolutely positive of what it was I was feeling. So when she backed me into a corner that day at the boathouse, I did the only thing us Stones are programmed to do, I bailed."

"Wait, you never told me you ran out on her that day."

"Not physically, no. But David, when I shut her down, when I told her I was into guys, God, the look on her face, it broke my heart. It still does. That's one of the main reasons I haven't said anything to her now. How can I expect her to believe me without thinking it's just me being confused because of everything that's happened since her rape?" Great, I'm starting to tear up now. Just the icing on the cake of this New Year's Eve.

"So you dated Henry because you needed to deny that you were falling for your best friend?" Got it in one cousin Dave. I don't see anything but concern and love in his eyes though, nothing anywhere near the disappointment I had expected.

"So how did you know then?" I can't help but be curious.

"Well like I was saying before, the Henry thing threw me off a bit. But after Bianca was attacked it became pretty crystal clear that you were going far beyond the best friend duties. I think the day I knew for certain though was the day of Bianca's first sonogram. Do you remember that?"

"God, how could I ever forget that!" Finally seeing Bianca's little girl, growing inside her, and sharing that with Binks, it has to be up there in my top ten all time most treasured moments. I can't even begin to count how many 'Wow's' came out of my mouth that day.

"That look in your eyes Maggie, the way you looked at the baby on the monitor, but especially the way you looked at Bianca. I just knew. Even a blind man could have seen it." Thankfully it was just the three of us then.

"I love that baby of hers as if it were my own David." I look over his shoulder, too shy to meet his gaze. Bianca isn't at her table anymore, but Lena is still sitting there, delicately sipping champagne with her eyes focused on something on the ballroom dance floor. Not something, rather someone. Erica must have found Bianca, because Jackson has her out there, twirling around on the dance floor. I stare transfixed on the sight of Bianca laughing with her Uncle Jack, as he pulls her in closer when the music changes to a slower song. Not a ballad really, but boy, do the lyrics start to resound within me.

Life, it can twist your heart
Put you in the dark
I was cold and lonely

But the love was always there
It's been around us everywhere
I had to fall to finally see
That you were right in front of me

Bianca knew it all those months ago. And I completely blew it then. I knew it then too, and I just blew it. No other way to describe my boneheaded comment about being 'into guys'.

Faith, it can lift you up
And if you got enough
To reach a new beginning

But the love was always there
It's been around us everywhere
I had to fall to finally see
That you were right in front of me

I glance closer and concentrate on Bianca's expanding stomach.

You are my tomorrow
There's safety in your arms
Where you'll go I'll follow
'Cause you're the world where I belong

I finally see... yeah
I had to fall to finally see
That you were right in front of me

As the song ends, Bianca kisses her Uncle Jack on the cheek, probably thanking him for the dance. I duck back behind the safety of David's shoulder, making sure Binks doesn't see me. One look at me right now and she'll know that something is most definitely wrong. She's so intuned to my emotions.

"God David, what am I going to do?" I put my head in my hands, completely exhausted with having to keep hiding my feelings from her, and yet totally terrified of putting everything out on the table.

"You're going to go over there to her table, and you're going to ask her to dance. And then you're going to tell her. It's as simple as that."

"It's NOT that simple! Did you happen to miss the fact that Lena is at her table too? You don't think she'd mind me honing in on her date with Bianca. On New Year's Eve no less?!" I can feel my voice going up an octave with each sentence. Is he really that nuts?!

"Let me worry about Lena. You just go and get your girl." David turns around with a sly grin on his face. Oh I so don't want to even know what he has planned for Lena. But it can't be good. He also seems to be forgetting one very important fact here.

"I can't tell her the truth David. She's in love with Lena, and I won't jeopardize our friendship for anything. Even if it means that I have to watch them be happy together. That's all I've ever wanted for Bianca anyway, even if it's not with me." Even though I know my little green monster would be getting quite the workout.

"Maggie, trust me. Tell her. You won't lose her friendship, I guarantee you that." He goes to stand up, grabbing my hand in the process and pulling me up with him. "Now, give me a minute to get Lena out of the way, and then you ask Bianca to dance." He starts to walk in their direction, but stops suddenly and turns around, grasping my shoulders and pulling me into another fierce hug. I can feel my body trembling in his embrace. Both from fear and a strange sense of excitement. "I know you're scared to death right now Mags, but please, trust me. You'll be so much happier once you finally tell her. You can't have this huge pink elephant sitting between you two anymore." He pulls away, but not before he leaves a gentle kiss on my forehead. "It'll be ok, I promise you."

I watch him confidently stroll over to Lena and Bianca's table, leaning down and mirroring the kiss he just gave me, on Bianca. I watch closely as he leans down and whispers something in Lena's ear, grinning broadly he pulls back and offers out his hand to her. I don't think I've ever seen Lena blush, but she is right now. God, I don't even want to imagine what David said to her. I chance a look at Bianca, who's grinning from ear to ear and nodding her head. Lena takes David's hand, letting herself be pulled up out of her seat by my cousin and led to the dance floor. That's his way of 'taking care' of Lena huh? I really don't want to even go near the possibility of Lena and my cousin.

When they're completely engulfed by the large crowd of dancers I decide to make my way over to Bianca, who by this time has a completely clear view of me. It feels like an eternity, but I finally reach her, extending my hand much the same way David did moments before.

"May I have this dance Miss Montgomery?" I try and add a bit of levity to it, so she can't tell that I'm ready to go running for the door, I'm that nervous.

Bianca looks out at the dance floor, I presume wondering where Lena is. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea----

"Maggie, it's a slow song-----"

"That didn't stop us at your Prom." I remind her. The one and only time I've had the privilege of holding her that close for no other reason than because we were dancing.

"Things were different then."

"Different because you're with Lena now?" I'm really starting to lose my nerve here.

"No, not because of Lena-----"

I crouch down a bit, something that's a big difficult in this dress of mine. I lace my hand with her own that is fidgeting nervously with the strap of her evening bag.

"Dance with me." I look up earnestly into her beautiful chocolate eyes, trying to convince her.

Bianca breaks our gaze to look down at our intertwined fingers. She turns back up to me with a small smile starting to etch it's way across her face. "Ok, Maggie."

I must have had a big goofy smile plastered on my face, because she giggles a bit as I stand up and start to lead her out into the mass of bodies making up the dance floor. I quickly glance around for any sign of David and Lena within our proximity, but I don't see them anywhere. Which isn't saying much considering how crowded it is out here.

I wrap my arm around Bianca's waist, pulling her closer to me so that there is barely any space between us. "I'll lead." I whisper in her ear, eliciting another small laugh. Bianca hasn't been wearing heels at all lately. So now, with my own heels on and her wearing flats, we're just about the same height. To be honest though, that night of the Prom, I don't know which of us led, we just seemed to melt into each other, dancing in more of a constant hug than anything else. I can't remember ever feeling so content than I did in those moments. I just wish it wouldn't have taken me so long to understand why I was feeling that way.

A new song starts playing on the sound system, and as I listen to the familiar lyrics, the hypnotic sensual rhythm, I'm overwhelmed with the need to just hold Bianca as tight as I can, and never let her go. For the rest of our lives.

I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can’t be made in fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can’t even see the ground

Catch me, don’t let me drop
Love me, don’t ever stop

"There's something I need to tell you Bianca----"

So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you

Falling into you
Falling into you
Falling into you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm beginning to think that leaving Maggie just standing out there in the cold December air wasn't my most brilliant idea in the world. Even when we argue, I still feel closer to her than anyone in my entire life. And that sure as heck beats sitting here all by my lonesome waiting for Maggie to come after me, or Lena to arrive.

"Is this seat taken?" There's no mistaking that accent. I turn around and go to stand up and offer Lena a hug, but she places her hand on my shoulder, gently keeping me in my seat. "No need Bianca, I'm sure the less time you're on your feet, the better you'll feel in the morning." Isn't that the truth. Even though I stopped wearing heels weeks ago, my feet still puff up constantly. Just another perk of this pregnancy.

Lena leans down and gently kisses my cheek, causing me to flash a slight shade of pink, and nervously glance around the ballroom. It's not that I'm embarrassed by public displays of affection, although I'm sure my mother very well could have passed out if she witnessed that. It's moreso that I just didn't want Maggie to have to witness yet another example of what she's convinced is her playing third wheel tagalong. Before she straightens back up to her full height, Lena wraps me in a warm hug, still making sure I stay firmly seated in my chair.

"So where's Maggie?" Oh boy, not the same from Lena too! I swear, these two must be absolutely nuts if they think I don't see the tension between them. All I have to do is listen to their inflection when they speak of one another. It's not pretty, that's for sure. Maggie I can somewhat understand. She's extremely protective of me, in all regards. And I know she thinks Lena isn't the right woman for me, even though she's supportive of my choices when it comes to relationships. Aside from that Thanksgiving incident of course. Which I'm still trying to wrap my head around.

Lena on the other hand, I'm not exactly sure where the vitriol is coming from on her side. Sure, I would guess Maggie's constant hovering and protective attitude towards me might be a tad annoying to her. But other than that, I just don't get it.

"I'm actually not sure where Maggie took off to. We got into a bit of an argument on the way over, and I kind of just left her standing out front." I turn around in my chair to glance out towards the lobby of the Valley Inn, hoping to catch a glimpse of my best friend. No such luck though.

"Should I ask what the argument was about, or just leave well enough alone?" Lena looks a bit exasperated. It's not like Maggie and I fight very often. And even when we do, Lena is not the first person I go running to. I don't understand where this attitude is coming from.

"How about you tell me how the job interview went down in Philly this afternoon?" I was actually surprised when she told me she was interviewing for other jobs, considering she's been working with Kendall lately. I assumed she liked it, I'm guessing not.

"I got it."

"Wait, you already know you got the job?" Wow, she must have really impressed them. Not that it surprises me, Lena is far and away one of the most impressive and together people I've ever known.

"Yes, I can start next week if I want to." Lena folds her hands and stares down at the table, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Well that's great news right?" Why doesn't she look excited?

"Bianca, please, stop dodging around this. Why didn't you just tell me?" Ok, huh?

"What are you talking about? Tell you what?"

"About you and Maggie! You know, I could have handled it. I just would have appreciated hearing it from you, instead of overhearing Maggie gushing to that sales clerk in the dress shop."

Ok, I'm completely and utterly confused. Although, some things are starting to fall into place now. First and foremost, why Maggie was acting so strange after she came back from getting my forgotten wallet. I thought she was ready to jump out of her skin for a good half hour after we left. It wasn't until later on that night, over a extra large pizza with jalapeno's that she settled back into her normal Maggie self.

"Ok Lena, I'm completely lost here. Could you please try and fill in some blanks for me?" First and foremost being, me and Maggie what?

Lena reaches over and takes my hand, grasping it tightly and looking earnestly into my eyes. "You know, all I've ever wanted for you was endless happiness. I understand that I've made far too many mistakes to ever expect your complete forgiveness." I try and stop her there, because I have forgiven her, for everything. I know the kind of position she was in, and I know better than just about anyone what kind of bastard Michael Cambias was. She's his victim, the same as I was.

Before I can interrupt her, she places a delicate finger across my lips, silencing my protest. "I know you forgive me, but I also know that no matter what you say, there will always be that level of distrust between us. I've honestly known it all along, I guess I was just letting my false hopes lead me the last few months." She moves her finger away when she's sure I won't interrupt her. It's not even an option for me anymore, I'm too intrigued by this sudden one eighty to say a word. Lena glances to the left for a moment, I follow the direction she's looking to spot Maggie in what seems to be an intense conversation with David.

I stare for a moment longer at my best friend, before drawing Lena's attention back to our conversation. "Lena, please tell me. Where is all of this coming from?"

She turns her gaze back to me, a wistful smile crossing her elegant features. "I never had a chance really. I knew that from the moment I met Maggie. From that moment in the hotel lobby when Maggie came riding in to your rescue. I knew that it was always her. It shouldn't have surprised me when I found out you were finally together."

Oh whoa! Where would she get an idea like that? I mean sure, it always HAS been Maggie, always. I love Lena, I really and truly do. But I know I will never love someone as deeply and completely the way I love Maggie. My baby being the one and only exception. But I also know I've always been upfront with Lena about my situation with Maggie. I would never have led her on.

Besides the fact that Maggie and I are NOT together, as much as I would like that to be the truth it just isn't.

"Lena, I have no idea where you got the impression that Maggie and I are together. And I'm assuming you mean in the romantic sense."

"Bianca, there's no reason to hide the truth any longer, I heard Maggie herself. She said you were her girlfriend."

Ok, WHAT?

"She called me that?"

"Yes. She came into the dress boutique down on Penn Street. I was looking through the racks trying to find a gown for this evening when I overheard her talking to the girl behind the counter. Apparently you left your wallet behind, and Maggie came back to retrieve it. If I remember it correctly, the saleswoman assumed you were together, because she's the one that called you Maggie's girlfriend."

"Well see, she was just assuming things Lena." It's happened so many times during the course of my friendship with Maggie, that both of us had gotten to the point where we almost expected people to assume it. I never understood if it was because everyone in Pine Valley knew I was gay, and just figured Maggie was too. Or if it was some kind of vibe the two of us together gave off. I never could figure it out, even to this day. Not that I minded it of course. Especially before our boathouse talk last winter.

"If that's the case, then Maggie made no effort to correct her assumption. In fact, she asserted the fact that you were 'her girl', if I remember the conversation correctly. I apologize for eavesdropping, I truly do. But Maggie certainly wasn't hiding her obvious adoration of you. And no reason she should really. I'm glad that she's proud to be with you. You deserve to have an open relationship." I'm beginning to think that I've lost my mind. Aside from the fact that Lena, of all people, used air quotes when she described her experience at the dress shop, the encounter itself sounds like something right out of one of my dreams. The ones that I had almost every night for a good portion of the year Maggie and I were getting to know each other. Before I had to go and push her into defining our relationship.

"Lena, I'm telling you the truth, Maggie and I are not together. We're not a couple----" I trail off, because if I let my mouth continue where my thoughts were going, I know I'll hurt Lena, and I don't want to do that.

"Well then, it seemed to me that if you aren't in fact together, Maggie certainly wishes you were. Bianca, I realize I don't know her very well, but I've never seen someone light up the way she does, just from talking about you."

"We *are* best friends you know, I mean, sure, we care about each other-----" I glance away from her penetrating gaze, this conversation making me more and more nervous with every moment that passes. And honestly, I'm not exactly sure why.

Lena reaches across the small table and gently grasps my chin, forcing me to return her intense gaze. "Bianca, you obviously don't understand what I'm saying here. Or maybe it's that you don't *want* to understand." She glances back over in the direction where Maggie last was, a small smile starting to etch it's way across her lips. I can't help but follow her glance yet again. Maggie is almost like magnetic north to me. I'm pulled to her inexplicably. Every single time, from day one. "She's in love with you Bianca." Lena turns around to face me now. I'm surprised I'm still sitting upright though, if I heard her correctly. "And moreso, you're just as in love with her. You always have been. And we both know it."

What's the sense in denying it any longer? If Lena has known all along how I feel about Maggie, why should I try and skirt around the issue. At least with her. I numbly shake my head in the affirmative, trying desperately to block out the other part of her confession. I don't have the heart to get my hopes up again, just to have them dashed. Especially not after the last year, it would just hurt far too much. "I love her. I think I've always been in love with her. I'm so sorry Lena."

"Don't apologize Bianca, never apologize for loving someone. I'll always be thankful for the time we had together, and for the strength and courage you've shown me. Watching you, being with you these last months has made me realize how much of my life I've wasted. And how different a person I want to be. All because of you. How can Maggie *not* love you?"

"Lena---"

"No Bianca, I have eyes, I know what I see."

I nod my head again, agreeing with her instead of going around in circles arguing over something that I'm sure I know better than she does.

"Good, now that it's settled, I propose we try and enjoy this evening. It is after all, New Year's Eve."

She's right, New Year's is a time to have fun. I can worry about the new beginnings that are heading my way tomorrow. Tonight is all about saying goodbye to the past year. One that I am very thankful is over.

"Why hello there ladies, Happy New Year!" David leans down and kisses my cheek softly, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

"Happy New Year Doctor Hayward." Lena smiles up at him.

"Ms Kundera, please, call me David." Oh my gosh, please tell me Maggie's cousin is not flirting with her!

"David it is then. But please, no Ms. Kundera either, Lena is just fine." And she's flirting right back!

"Bianca, how are you feeling? Any lightheadedness, nausea, cramping?" Maggie certainly takes after David. I think I've answered any variation of those questions at least once a day since Maggie found out I was pregnant. I'm not going to complain though, because it's beyond comforting to know how much they both care about me.

"I'm just fine David. You know Maggie, she'd call you in a heartbeat if something were wrong. In fact, I think she was tempted a couple of times when she felt the baby kick, just to be on the safe side!" That's really not an exaggeration either. Of course once she realized the baby was kicking and not spinning out of control in my womb or something equally disturbing, she was in complete awe, just as I was. It was precious really, that look on her face, and how delicately she kept her hand on my stomach. I felt so cherished and protected in that moment.

"Well my cousin is certainly devoted to you Bianca, I don't think anyone would disagree with that." David turns and shares a look with Lena. Is everyone in on the secret?! Lena gives me a small smile, and I swear, it's an 'I told you so' smirk. David raises one eyebrow at me and then leans down and whispers something into Lena's ear. Wait, is she starting to blush?!

"Why David, I thought you'd never ask." David reaches out and grasps Lena's hand, leading her away towards the crowded dance floor. Leaving me to sit here and wonder what in the world is going on with everyone tonight. I turn back around and reach for my diet caffeine free coke, deciding not to put too much thought into David and Lena's behavior. The last thing I need is to bring on a headache, and I know that's what will happen if I try and dissect the conversation I just had. Before I have the chance to bring the glass to my lips my eyes lock onto Maggie, gazing at me from across the ballroom. As I stare transfixed, she slowly weaves her way through the throngs of partygoers to stand at my side.

"May I have this dance, Miss Montgomery?" She reaches out her hand towards mine, beckoning me to accept. I look nervously out towards the dance floor, watching all the other couples sway to the soft slow song filtering through the sound system. I've never wanted anything more, and I'm scared witless, all at the same time.

"Maggie, it's a slow song----" She interrupts my stall tactic.

"That didn't stop us at your Prom." She reminds me. And no, it certainly didn't. But that was before. Before I confronted her, before I pushed her. The boundaries are there now, no matter how affectionate we've become the last few months, there's no more 'is she or isn't she' doubt floating around. That's what makes this different.

"Things were different then----" I trail off, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

"Different because you're with Lena now?"

"No, not because of Lena----."

Maggie crouches down next to me, lacing her fingers together with mine, that suddenly seemed to find the strap of my purse incredibly interesting. I raise my eyes level with hers, becoming trapped in the warmth of her rich chocolate eyes.

"Dance with me."

I continue to stare, captivated. I want more than anything in this moment to be wrapped up in her warmth, in her love. I break our gaze for a moment, glancing down at our interlocked fingers, before deciding to throw caution to the wind. "Ok Maggie."

I stand up, letting her lead me out onto the crowded dance floor. I swear, I don't think I've ever seen her smile that radiantly before. I can't help but giggle a bit myself. We're acting like two lovesick teenagers out on their first date. She's my best friend, we've done this before, so why the nervousness? It's not like we *are* on a date or anything. Maggie pulls me closer to her, wrapping her arm gently, but firmly around my waist, drawing me into her body, barely any room between us now. "I'll lead." She teasingly whispers into my ear. Sending a shiver of desire down my spine, which I nervously cover with a small laugh.

We sway together to the music, wrapped in each other's arms. I can't remember the last time I really felt this peaceful. Sure, I was nervous, considering things between us seem to be changing. But I always feel safe in Maggie's embrace, no matter what the circumstances are. Now is no different. The song changes, but neither of us makes any kind of move to release the other. I recognize it immediately, having owned the particular album for years now.

"There's something I need to tell you Bianca-----" I pull my head up from Maggie's shoulder and look into her dazzling brown eyes.

"What?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one noticed the solitary man sitting in the corner, rise up from his chair and nonchalantly make his way out of the ballroom. Nor did they notice the way he constantly checked his watch, from the moment he sat down to sip his gin and tonic. Everyone was far too caught up in the festivities of the night, and the tick of the clock signaling that midnight was but a few seconds away. As the man picked up his pace, the clock wound down to the bewitching hour, the end of 2003. No one was aware of the second clock clicking away the seconds right below them in the boiler room of the Valley Inn.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

Maggie pulled herself away from Bianca slightly, putting enough distance between them so that she could concentrate on the monumental confession she was about to make. She maneuvered them over towards the bar area, off of the dance floor, but not out of their embrace entirely.

"Eight!"

"Seven!"

Bianca kept her eyes locked onto Maggie the entire time, trying desperately to have some hint at what was making Maggie so nervous. She could literally feel the older woman trembling slightly in her arms.

"Six!"

"Five!"

Outside in the cold winter air, a man sat across the street on a bench in the park. Lighting up a cigarette and taking a last look towards the lights of the Valley Inn.

"Four!"

"Three!"

He could hear the revelry of the party goers, even from the distance he sat. Taking one last drag before tossing the cigarette butt to the ground, he stood up and without looking back, walked out of the park, in the opposite direction of the party.

"Two!"

"One!"

"Bianca, you know you mean the world to me. You and that baby growing inside you." Maggie gently reached up and cupped Bianca's cheek, everyone else in the room fading around them, leaving the two young women with only eyes for each other.

"Happy New Year!!!"

Tick Tick Tick

"Maggie, what---" Bianca stopped short when she realized that the room had come to a stand still, everyone looking around trying to figure out where the increasingly loud rumble was coming from.

Outside the entrance to the Pine Valley Park, the man stopped his step and glanced down at his watch.

"Time's up."

~~~~~~~~~

The ballroom of the Valley Inn erupted in chaos the moment the first rumble was felt. The entire building started to shake, dust and plaster falling amongst the party goers, covering them in a fine layer of grit. Only seconds passed before the tremors escalated, large pieces of the room now starting to fall on top of it's occupants.

Maggie and Bianca clutched tightly to each other, looking around frantically, trying to figure out what on earth was going on. As Maggie turned toward the bar area, she saw the overhead glass rack shake loose from it's holding. Maggie felt like she was in slow motion as she watched the large piece of wood fall directly towards the two of them. Without hesitation, and without second thought, she pushed Bianca out of the way and onto the floor, taking the full impact of the falling debris.

"Maggie!!" Bianca spun around on the floor, trying to stand but unable to regain her balance. "Maggie!" She managed to crawl her way back over to her best friend, only to find that Maggie was almost completely buried under the remains of the bar. Bianca gently grasped Maggie's visible hand, immediately checking for a pulse. Relieved to find a steady but somewhat weak heartbeat, Bianca started to attempt to remove some of the heavy debris covering the older girl.

BOOM!!!