Negative Reversal

Fandom: The Practice

Series: Photomosaic

Title: Negative Reversal

Author: Carla

Pairing: LH/RK

Rating: R

Disclaimers: Well last time I checked I still was not David E. Kelley. I was however still covetting his wife and his talent. No profit made, no harm intended. Much gratitude for the use of his playground.

Spoilers: So mild I couldn't even tell you the episode or the season though I am willing to guess S3. Those who watch the show regularly will recognize the references that are woven in the story.

Archive: Okay to the Realm. All others please ask. My delusional flights of fancy can be found here: http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/carla.htm

Feedback: Feedback the good the bad and the ugly can be given either onlist or directly to me at cmfloresfd@yahoo.com. I'd love to hear what you think.

Author's Notes: This fic takes place during the events depicted in Sepia Tones, specifically after the first two thirds of that fic. In Acid Etchings the friends made plans for a trip to NYC in September. Since then their relationship has moved from platonic to decidedly non-platonic and well some issues come up during their trip to the Big Apple.

I hope you enjoy.

Roberta looked up from the magazine she held in her left hand to gaze at the passing landscape. The train was moving too quickly to allow her to properly focus on individual sights but the leaves were starting to turn early this year and the riotous swaths of reds and oranges were beautiful nonetheless. Her right hand idly combed through Lucy’ hair. She glanced down at the younger woman who lay sleeping, her head in Roberta’s lap. They’d taken the train on the advice of Lucy’ doctor, the ear infection Lucy had the previous month had returned with a vengeance and he’d warned her that air travel would prove to be extremely painful.

Roberta’s thoughts drifted to the last week and a half, the all to welcome change in her relationship with Lucy. Eleven days since that kiss in the car. Ten nights since they’d first made love, she still thought she’d wake up and realize that it was all dream and fantasy. As it had been for months.

The magazine slid out of her grasp and fell to the floor jarring her out of her half asleep state. She bent to pick up the magazine only to find that the passenger seated across the aisle had beaten her to it. He passed her the magazine, the latest ABA Journal, with a wink and a smile.

"Started to nod off there did you?"

"Not really just lost in thought."

"Well they were happy ones judging by the smile on your face."

She blushed furiously and ducked her head. If you only knew she thought to herself, aloud she answered "Well they weren’t altogether unpleasant shall we say."

"My name is Nicholas Birkenseer," he held his hand out across the aisle.

"Roberta Kittleson a pleasure to meet you Nicholas."

"Actually everyone calls me Birk. My grandfather was Nicholas."

"Birk it is then." Roberta, Birk noticed, continued to sift her hand through Lucy’ hair. "I had a professor in law school with the same last name."

"Torts or Contracts?"

"Both actually."

"Yale Law, my grandfather taught there for many years. When were you there?"

"Sixty-four to sixty-seven, I remember his class none to fondly."

"He was an ass. Never forgave me for going to Wharton. Are you still practicing?"

"Not really I’m a judge now."

They spent the next hour or so chatting amiably on a wide range of topics until the conductor announced their arrival in New Haven and Lucy stirred. The young brunette sat up, running her hands through her hair vigorously in an attempt to clear her head.

"How long have I been sleeping?"

"Almost two hours," Roberta looked down at her lap, "And no drool. Your sinuses must be clearing up

Roberta teased her gently. "We won’t be in New York for another two hours almost if you want to go back to sleep."

Lucy shrugged, "Where’s the bathroom do you know?"

Birk spoke up when Roberta shook her head; no, "The car before this one," he pointed down the aisle to the door that opened to the bar car. "The bar car I think."

"Thank you.’ Lucy stepped over Roberta’s legs and out into the aisle. "You want anything on my way back?"

"A Diet Pepsi would be lovely, thank you. Birk can I buy you something to drink?"

"No thank you."

"Okay I’ll be back in a few."

"How old is she?"

"Lucy will be twenty-one next month."

"She looks much younger. Do you have other children?"

"Lucy isn’t my daughter," she stood abruptly and wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on her pants. "If you’ll excuse me."

"Certainly. I’ll keep an eye on your things."

"Thank you." Roberta followed Lucy’ steps to the bar car, her mind racing with thoughts of what to say if Birk asked her just what her relationship with Lucy was. What if he asked Lucy before she got back to their seats, what would Lucy’ answer be? They hadn’t discussed what to say to people at all and Roberta had the disconcerting feeling that Lucy might not be as discreet as Roberta herself might hope for. She took a deep breath and thought to herself Calm down Lucy isn’t…oh god she does have a tendency to speak first and think later. And I don’t think she’s outgrown it since last Wednesday. Wednesday of the previous week they’d had lunch with Jimmy in her chambers. What was supposed to have been an adult conversation had devolved quickly when Lucy called Jimmy a homophobic asshole unable to cope with the fact that his girlfriend had dumped him for another woman. Jimmy for his part had managed to hold a civil tongue until then but his response to Lucy had been to denigrate them both. Dragging Roberta’s past sexual history and age into it while essentially calling Lucy a nymphet who was just using Roberta for whatever she could get out of the older woman. He’d snidely referred to Lucy as Lolita and the younger woman had practically spit on him before claiming surprise that he’d had time to read in between gambling sprees. She finished hurriedly in the restroom and made her way back to their seats in time to see Lucy pass Birk something and then sit. She joined them, Lucy sliding over so that she could retake her seat on the aisle.

"So why are you going to New York Birk?" Lucy asked.

"To see my son, it’s his birthday tomorrow."

"How old is he going to be?"

"Twenty-three he’s finishing his MBA at NYU. And you, why are you two going to New York?"

"I’ve never been and Bobbi offered to show me the sights. We have tickets to The Lion King for Saturday and the Vermeer exhibit at the Frick Museum tomorrow."

"You should go to Little Italy the Feast of San Genaro is going on now."

Roberta spoke up "That’s actually the original reason for this trip. I haven’t been in years and well since Lucy has never even been to New York we figured why not."

"If you ladies would like to go this evening I would be honored to escort you. Perhaps my son would care to join us, I could call him and see if he’s free."

Lucy shot Roberta a look and mouthed no.

"Actually Birk I’m afraid we won’t be able to. But thank you, you’re very kind to offer."

"Well certainly if you change your minds," he passed Roberta a business card, "My cell is always on. Call me."

Roberta pocketed the card and the trio resumed chatting easily until the train arrived at Pennsylvania Station in New York City. They busied themselves gathering their belongings and bags. Finally when they were standing on the platform Roberta thanked Birk again for his offer to play tour guide.

"Well the offer still stands. Or perhaps we could have dinner in Boston sometime. May I call you?" he asked Roberta. She sensed rather than saw Lucy tense in anticipation of her answer.

"You know Birk I um…if I gave you the impression. That is I’m flattered but…"

"I understand."

"If you’d like to do something on a purely social platonic level call me. Or perhaps I’ll see you at the opera this season."

"Perhaps. Lucy it was a pleasure meeting you. Roberta." He nodded curtly at both of them, picked up his bag and walked up the platform to the exit.

"Shall we?" Roberta asked as she shouldered her bag and began to walk towards the exit as well.

Lucy shouldered her own bag and trotted to catch up with her lover, "Shall we what?"

"Go to the hotel, check out the room."

"I’d rather check out the bed" Lucy grinned and wagged her eyebrows.

"Well far be it from me to stand in the way of a thorough inspection."

"I’m kinda hungry, you?"

"I’m going to enjoy introducing you to the decadence of room service."

"That’s not what I meant."

"Well you know what they say; Service with a smile."

They emerged from Penn Station on to 8^th Avenue, the noise of New York City in the afternoon assaulting them instantly. They got in line at the taxi stand behind several businessmen and a young woman trying to juggle several bags and an infant.

"See that building across the street that’s the main Post Office for the city. Many, many years ago Charles and I were here on April 15^th and I’d never seen anything like it. The building is open twenty-four hours a day you see but on tax day they postmark everything till midnight. Anyway this place was a zoo, dozens of people were sitting on the steps at 11:30 at night doing their taxes, by hand mind you, while hundreds of others were milling around dropping off their returns or waiting on any of a dozen lines to buy stamps. Some poor souls were dressed up like giant bottles of aspirin handing out samples and others were dressed up like pencils handing out freebies with the name of some tax preparation company or another."

"Thank god for e-filing." The next taxi was their’ and they climbed in. Lucy gave the driver the name of the hotel then sat back leaning against Roberta and linking their hands together. "I’m excited you know," Lucy squirmed excitedly, squeezing Roberta’s hand as she took in the sights of the city. "Thanks for bringing me here, for suggesting this trip," Lucy leaned in to whisper in Roberta’s ear, "I know just how I want to thank you."

"Do you?" Roberta murmured. She noticed the driver watching them in the rear view mirror and had to fight the impulse to really give him something to watch. "Tell me. Tell me how."

Lucy knelt on the seat next to Roberta. She pushed fine blonde hair out of the way and brought her other hand up so that to the driver it would appear that she was whispering behind her hand. Instead she gently caught Roberta’s earlobe between straight white teeth, nipping the soft flesh before running the tip of her tongue over the outer shell of the jurist’s ear. Roberta whimpered softly, her mouth suddenly going dry.

"We’re here ladies." The driver’s voice cut into the haze that seemed to surround them. The cab came to a stop and Lucy paid the driver.

Fifteen minutes later they were in their room. While Lucy used the bathroom Roberta went to the window to check out the view of Times Square, it had changed considerably since the last time she’d been, nearly twenty years past. No longer the seedy part of town, live nude revues and porn theaters gone to be replaced by Disney everything, the Virgin MegaStore and every conceivable chain restaurant under the sun. In the fading afternoon sun the full brilliance of the light displays was somewhat muted but nonetheless spectacular. She thought to herself that perhaps tonight she would leave the draperies open so that the lights from the displays would illuminate the room while they made love. They were far enough above street-level to effectively preclude all but the most determined of ‘Peeping Toms’ anyway. Lucy would look beautiful in the light she was certain.

She felt rather than heard Lucy’ presence behind her. Then the shorter woman’s arms were around her waist pulling her closer till there was almost no space between them. Lucy rested her chin on Roberta’s shoulder, "Penny for ‘em?"

"I was just thinking about how much it’s changed, Times Square you know. And then I started thinking about how beautiful you would look later, when it’s dark out and the lights are coming in through the windows."

Lucy placed a kiss just under Roberta’s ear. "You say the sweetest things."

"I try" turning around in the circle of Lucy’ arms, she draped her arms over Lucy’ shoulders. "I love you"

A sudden swell of insecurity overcame the younger woman and she buried her head in the crook of Roberta’s neck. "Like I love you?"

Roberta pulled away slightly so that she could look directly into Lucy’ eyes. "Hey now what’s this about? What’s going on?"

"Nothing"

"Lucy"

"It’s stupid…it’s nothing."

"No it isn’t if it’s bothering you then…"

"Would you have…if I wasn’t there would you have said yes." At Roberta’s quizzical look Lucy clarified, "To what’s his name on the train would you have said yes?"

"Birk?" She stepped out of their embrace to sit on the bed. "That depends are you speaking on a social basis only or are you really asking would I have slept with him? Because I probably would have accepted his offer to show me the sights, yes."

"And the other?"

"Well now that depends, what did you mean by ‘If I wasn’t there’? Did you simply mean you weren’t on this trip or did you really mean if you and I were not in a relationship other than friendship? Because if you meant the latter then: Yes at some point I probably would have." She beckoned Lucy to sit next to her, twining their fingers together when she did so. "Lucy, sweetheart"

"Wait" Lucy’ kissed Roberta gently, "I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked. I trust you, I do I just got really insecure all of a sudden. I guess maybe I should just get used to the fact that sometimes it will happen, I mean why wouldn’t it you’re so amazing. You’re funny and smart and sexy and…" her voice trailed off and she sighed heavily. "I’m not Jimmy" she murmured finally.

"I’ll stipulate to that," Roberta said with a wink and a wry grin.

"I’m serious Bobbi. I know…from some of the things you’ve said and from knowing Jimmy…I love you. I know that, like I know I have brown hair. I’m not conflicted about it and I refuse to feel guilty for it. I understand about discretion, this you and I, it’s nobody’s business but our own…what ha…I, I just had this urge to start "posturing" you know. To stand up and go toe to toe with that guy and say: She’s with me. I’m not Jimmy. Did you know that the first thing he did, automatically, when we…he denied you. That was his first instinct, the whole office is looking at streaming video of the two of you making out in an elevator and that was his first instinct. I would never do that I would never deny you. For one brief gut wrenching moment this afternoon, when Birk asked to see you in Boston, I panicked and I" she broke off searching for the right words. "I am so in love with you. When I say I’m not Jimmy I mean I’m not afraid or ashamed of wanting you, of loving you. I don’t think it’s dirty or wrong. I don’t think God is going to punish me for my desire and I don’t care about the past. I don’t care about what was or who or how many. I only care about the future and that I’m in it." Lucy looked down at their still entwined hands, she squeezed gently, "Just me."

"Lucy look at me," their gazes locked and Roberta continued. "I love you. I am in love with you. You don’t have to worry about anyone else. And that’s why you’re not Jimmy. That’s why you’re no one else since Charles because I’m in love with you." In one fluid move Roberta eased Lucy back on the bed and straddled her waist. She looked down at the brunette, hair splayed out over the maroon coverlet and smiled. "Just you." Roberta bent down to capture Lucy’ full red lips with her own. They kissed languidly at first and then with increasing passion until the need to breathe became paramount, forcing them apart with a moan.

Lucy reached up to push Roberta’s hair out of her eyes, "What’s that goofy smile for?" she asked.

"It means I was right. You look beautiful in the light.