Fandom: The Practice

Series: Wonderland

Title: Mothers and Daughters

Author: Carla

Email: cmfloresfd@yahoo.com

Pairing: HG/EF

Disclaimers: I keep tossing pennies in the fountain but despite all that fervid wishing I am still not David E. Kelley.  Which of course means I still don't own the characters and I'm still not married to Michelle Pfieffer.  No harm intended no profit made.

Archiving: All my flights of fancy and delusional ravings can be found at http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/carla.htm

A/N: This takes place after Lawyers in Love.  Furthermore this is totally unbeta-ed so any and all mistakes are mine and mine alone. If you'd care to share your opinion with me please feel free to do so.  Feed back the good, the bad and the ugly can be sent to me either on list or at cmfloresfd@yahoo.com .

"Mom there’s something I want you to tell you."

"Mother I’ve started seeing someone…Helen."

"Mom, you remember my roommate, Helen. Well it turns out she’s more than my roommate."

Eleanor grimaced at her reflection in the mirror. She was a nervous wreck, her mother would be arriving at any minute for brunch and Eleanor had decided that today was the day she would tell Doris about Helen. From the kitchen she could hear the retro station Helen insisted on listening to play some old disco anthem. If she listened carefully she could make out the words, "I’m coming out…I want the world to know. Got to let it show…I’m coming" Helen singing along slightly out of key.

"Funny Helen" she called out from the bedroom. "Can you change the station please?"

"Oh come on don’t you see the irony. Relax live a little." Helen called back from the living room.

"Helen" she couldn’t quite keep the whiny tone out of her voice.

"Okay, okay" Helen switched to a classical station. "How’s this or maybe some jazz? I could put on a CD."

"Classical is good," she answered from the bedroom doorway. "Do I look okay?"

"You look beautiful sweetheart."

"I’m not underdressed?"

"Ellie relax. You’re just going out for brunch. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, you know. It’s no big deal, really."

"Easy for you to say your parents already know."

"You’re telling me the woman hasn’t figured it out yet. You’re 35. You have a child and make over a hundred thousand a year but still live with a "Roommate" in a three-bedroom, one-bath apartment. You’ve said so yourself, the woman isn’t stupid."

"I know but people don’t see what they don’t want to see. You know how it goes."

"I know" further conversation was cut short by the buzz of the apartment intercom. "Do you want me to ring her up or just tell her you’ll meet her downstairs", Helen asked.

"Ring her up this way she can play with Zoë for a few minutes. Hopefully that will put her in a better mood."

Helen nodded as she spoke into the intercom, "Who is it?"

A tinny voice answered, "Eleanor it’s your mother."

"It’s Helen Mrs. Frutt. I’ll buzz you in" Helen buzzed Doris in and turned to Eleanor. "Now remember to breathe deeply and relaaaaaaaax."

"You know the last time you told me to ‘breathe deeply and relax’ I was in labor. It wasn’t very helpful then and…" the rest of her words were silenced by Helen’s mouth. The kiss was a languid one filled with Helen’s love for her and more relaxing than any words could have been. When they parted Eleanor took a deep breath then slowly exhaled, "Now I feel calmer and more relaxed. To bad you never did that while I was in labor."

"I wanted to."

"Really?" Eleanor still marveled at the idea that Helen had been interested in her as far back as her pregnancy. She hadn’t guessed and Helen had hidden her feelings incredibly well.

"Really, especially you know when," she made a vague gesture with her left hand. She couldn’t bring herself to speak of Eleanor’s labor when she and the baby had gone into distress and things had been touch and go for a moment. Eleanor nodded in understanding and stroked Helen’s cheek with her thumb in an attempt to soothe the painful memory away.

"Well at least we got here finally right?" Eleanor said.

"Right"

The doorbell rang and Eleanor went to answer it while Helen got Zoë from her crib, "Mother hi. Come in come in." They hugged briefly and gave each other a peck on the cheek.

"Where’s my granddaughter?"

"Helen went to get her."

"Here she is," Helen presented the freshly diapered Zoë to Doris. "Clean, freshly powdered and ready for Grandma’s inspection right Zoë?"

Doris spent a half an hour or so playing with Zoë and chatting with Eleanor and Helen.

"It’s so nice of you to stay home with the baby while Eleanor and I go to brunch, Helen."

"Oh it’s not a problem. I love spending time with Zo besides when you leave we’re going to kick back crack open a bottle or two and watch Cartoon Network."

"I beg your pardon."

"It was a joke" Helen explained, "You know a bottle of formula for her and bottle of water for me. Never mind." She made a show of looking at the clock on the wall, "You should probably get going. Eleanor said you have reservations for twelve-thirty."

"Yes. Yes we do." Doris kissed the now sleeping Zoë on the forehead before handing her over to Eleanor, who kissed and cooed over the sleeping infant as well before passing her to Helen. Helen, holding Zoë in her arms, showed them to the door.

"Bye Mrs. Frutt. It was nice seeing you again."

"Yes it was nice seeing you again too. One more kiss for Zoë," the older woman kissed the child in Helen’s arms again before stepping into the hallway.

"Thanks Helen," Eleanor surreptitiously squeezed Helen’s hand as she leaned in to brush her lips against Zoë’s forehead.

"Remember," Helen whispered, "you don’t have to say anything."

Two hours later Eleanor was slamming the door to the apartment behind her with enough force to rattle the pictures on the wall and wake up Zoë and Helen who were napping on the couch. The baby started crying and Helen began rocking her and making soothing noises in an effort to calm the child down.

"I’m sorry."

Helen watched as Eleanor paced back and forth in front of the couch a few times before storming into their bedroom. Helen, still holding the baby, followed her to their room silently watching from the doorway as the heavy set attorney yanked off the outfit she was wearing and yanked on a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Gathering her hair in a ponytail as she spoke Eleanor turned to face Helen, "Remind me once again why I thought it would be a good idea to tell her."

"She’s your mother. You love her and you wanted to be honest with her. What happened?"

Eleanor flopped down on the bed patting the space next to her for Helen and Zoë to join her.

"Let me put her in her crib okay?"

"No I need both of you." Eleanor held her arms out and Helen passed her the, once again, sleeping Zoë before perching on the edge of the bed.

"I take it you told her," Eleanor nodded. "I’m sorry," Helen squeezed Eleanor’s shoulder gently. "What’d she say."

"You want the whole long torturous conversation or just the salient points?"

"That bad?"

"Well let’s see; first you’re way to attractive to be a lesbian. Me, she can see it you no way. Second I have such a pretty face and if I just lost some weight I might meet a man," Eleanor paused to nuzzle the crown of Zoë’s head. "Third Zoë, what was this going to do to her. Kids are cruel to begin with so since they’re probably going to tease her about me being "a little bigger than the other mothers" why give them extra ammunition. Fourth given the inherent instability, those were her exact words given the inherent instability of homosexual relationships and the lifestyle the person who would be hurt most by my incredibly selfish behavior would be Zoë."

"Wow," Helen squeezed the bridge of her nose, "I thought you said she was intelligent?"

"I think the pod people have her," Eleanor deadpanned.

"Really?"

"I’m serious Helen. Okay not the pod people but you know what I mean. Not that I thought she was going to jump up and down for joy or anything but I did think she’d be okay with it. Surprised, sure but its not like she doesn’t have gay and lesbian friends. Hell my Uncle Ralph, her brother has been partnered with the same man since I was a little kid and she’s okay with it."

"The old saying is true, when it’s your kid it’s different. You’ll see one day Zoë will come home and say "Mom there’s something I have to tell you". She’ll announce she’s heterosexual and you’ll start wailing about the nice girl next door you’ve been trying to set her up with," Helen teased. "She loves you she’ll come around."

"I know she will. I think what really pissed me off the most was the whole "You’ve got such a pretty face if only you would lose some weight thing. Uggghhh!!! Its just frustrating is all."

"Let me put Zoë to bed."

She was back within minutes and lay down next to Eleanor. Scooting as close as possible to the heavier woman Helen whispered, "Spoon?" Eleanor turned on her side with her back to the thinner woman who slid an arm around her waist. Helen kissed Eleanor’s shoulder then nuzzled her neck. She slipped her hand under Eleanor’s sweatshirt to rest it palm down on her belly. "I think you’re beautiful, Ellie. My beautiful angel, I love your body. I love your softness" Helen ran her hand over Eleanor’s belly in ever widening circles as she continued, "I love the strength I feel underneath all that softness." Her hand swept over Eleanor’s side coming to rest on her hip momentarily; "I like how you have different temperature zones. Does that make sense…like here your hip it’s colder than your belly is...But here," Helen slid her hand underneath Eleanor’s belly, "Under your belly it’s nice and warm and here," now Helen’s hand came to rest at the juncture of Eleanor’s thighs. "Here your heat…it’s like a furnace." Helen’s hand slipped under the waistband of Eleanor’s sweats then between Eleanor’s legs, long fingers dipping into the other woman’s obvious arousal. "And here, here it’s nuclear and wonderful. I want to spend a lifetime learning and re-learning you." Eleanor’s hips began to undulate in a slow erotic dance, which Helen mirrored. "I love the way your body moves when you walk, when we dance. I love the way you own your space." Eleanor groaned as she felt Helen’s fingers fill her. "I love how you hold me inside of you. I am so lucky, so honored to be allowed to touch you this way. Thank you." Eleanor’s hips moved more frantically now as she sought her release Helen’s words and touch having brought her close to the edge in record time. "That’s it baby, move for me…let go I’ve got you."

"Oh God Helen"

"I’m right here love. Right here right behind you. Always, always Ellie. I love you," she whispered into her lover’s ear. Eleanor was suddenly still every muscle in her body taut then she keened out her pleasure as she flooded Helen’s hand with her essence. "Beautiful, you are so beautiful how could I think otherwise? How could anyone not see it?" Helen withdrew her fingers from their intimate burrow and brought them up to her nose. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply relishing the scent of her love’s arousal on her fingers before licking them clean. She made a slow show of it relishing Eleanor’s eyes watching her in the mirror and the look of desire on the heavyset woman’s face that she saw reflected back at her.

Then Eleanor turned to face her, rolling Helen so that she ended up on her back with Eleanor hovering above her. "I love you Helen", she leaned down to capture Helen’s lips with her own noting the hint of herself that still lingered on the petite woman’s lips and tongue as she did so. The kiss deepened, tongues dueling for supremacy stroking each other to ever higher peaks of desire till they broke apart breathless; each panting into the crook of the other’s neck.

The shrill ringing of the phone shattered the mood, waking the baby in the other room even. Eleanor rolled to her side of the bed and snatched the phone off of the receiver while Helen went to soothe Zoë to sleep once again.

"Hello"

"Eleanor it’s your mother."

"Yes mother."

"About what I said earlier, at brunch."

"Yes."

"I was…I was out of line."

"Yes you were."

"You surprised me, but then you always have. I’ve never really understood you. I thought you preferred men, when you told me you were going to have a baby you said you were doing it that way because you hadn’t met the right man yet. Was that a lie was it that you didn’t want to tell me the truth, that you really prefer women."

"No that wasn’t a lie. I wanted a baby and the fact that I hadn’t met the right man yet was secondary to that. It isn’t a question of the right…Helen is the right person for me Mother."

"What does Zoë’s father have to say about this? You don’t worry that he’ll try and use this against you do you?"

"No I don’t. The court terminated Kevin’s parental rights before Zoë was even born."

"And what happens…what if something should happen to you? What about Zoë surely you don’t…"

"Hopefully that’s not going to be an issue any time soon but for now Stephen and Danette are named as her legal guardians in my will."

"Thank God."

Eleanor sighed, exasperation coloring her voice she said, "You know Mother, Helen loves Zoë like she was her own. No let me correct that, Helen is Zoë’s mom. She’s been there since the very beginning, when I got sick she took care of me. She went to childbirth classes with me, she was with me for every step of my labor all of it. She took time off of work to stay home with us when I first came home from the hospital. She gets up in the middle of the night with her, takes her to the doctor all the things I do she does. Stephen is aware of my feeling in this matter. God forbid something should happen to me he will continue to allow Helen to see Zoë."

"If what you’re saying is true then why not have Helen be named guardian in your will?"

"Because I haven’t gotten around to it. We’ve only been together a few months, as much as I do believe that Helen is ‘it’ for me I’m not going to take that chance just yet. We’ve talked about it and she understands my position, as does Stephen."

"Stephen knew, Stephen’s known about this…this relationship of yours’ all along."

"I had to talk to someone."

"You could have talked to me."

"Could I?" Eleanor bit back a bitter laugh, "Given your stunning display of understanding and openness earlier why would I think that?"

"Fair enough. Who else knows?"

"Helen’s family…"

"I meant in our family, who else knows?"

"No one Mother. It’s not like sending out a birth announcement, for God’s sake. Uncle Ralph and Uncle David, I sent him a picture of the three of us. He called to tell me I better snag Helen if I hadn’t already since he could tell just by looking at the picture how much she loved me and Zoë."

"I’m sure he thinks this is all so amusing."

"At least he’s supportive."

"Now Eleanor"

"You know what Mother I’m going to get off the phone now before I say something that I will undoubtedly regret later."

"Eleanor"

"Goodbye Mother," she hung up the phone and went to join Helen in the nursery. Helen was sitting in the rocking chair quietly reading "The Velveteen Rabbit" to the baby. She looked up and smiled at Eleanor.

"The classics always work," she closed the book, letting it fall on the floor next to the rocking chair with a gentle thud.

"She asleep?"

"Yeah"

"Here let me put her in the crib," Eleanor took her daughter from Helen’s arms to lay her down. She spoke in a hushed tone, "Could you put some water on for tea, please sweetie."

"Sure. You okay?"

"I’ll be there in a minute. I just want to…I’ll join you in a sec."

"Alright"

Eleanor pulled the rocker closer to the crib and sat down. Reaching through the slats with one hand she gently stroked her daughter’s arm as she whispered, "I know you don’t understand what I’m saying Zoë but nonetheless." Sensing that Helen was standing in the doorway, she paused choosing her words carefully. "I hate to admit it but your grandmother has a point and I’m going to make things right tomorrow when I go to the office. Helen is your mother. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different, especially your grandmother. I’m your Mommy and Helen is your Mima. That will never change. Even if…Helen will always be your Mima Zoë and I’m going to make sure of that." Eleanor glanced over her shoulder at Helen standing in the doorway silently watching them and smiled, "I promise."

"So "Mommy"," Helen teased, "What’s it going to be orange pekoe, Darjeeling, chamomile…"

"I changed my mind actually," Eleanor followed Helen into the kitchen, "I think I’ll have hot chocolate." She slipped her arms around Helen to hug her tightly from behind. "Can I have the little marshmallows, Mima?" she whispered in Helen’s ear before playfully nipping at the shorter woman’s earlobe.

The slender brunette tilted her head back so that she could kiss Eleanor’s cheek, "I think that can be arranged."