Title: In The Name Of Love

Author: bwpbard

Email: bwpbard@hotmail.com

15 Jess

Jess looked down at the pale and sleeping Charlie in the hospital bed. It was a close call, but she was going to be okay. Cyanide. Someone gave Charlie potassium cyanide, obviously trying to kill her. Jess shivered.

"Oh my God, Jessie, this is terrible," Sarah said from behind her. "I'm so sorry for your new friend."

"Thank you, Sarah."

"How is she? She doesn't look so well."

Jess stiffened. "She's going to be fine, but she could have died, Sarah. She should have been dead." Tears formed in Jess' blue eyes. "The amount of poison in her body should have killed her, it's a miracle that she's still alive."

Sarah held her close while she cried and Sarah didn't let go until her beeper went of and startled them both.

Sarah kissed her wet cheek and said softly, "I'll be back," and then she quietly slipped out of the door.

A small grunting sound from the bed almost made Jess lose the little composure she had left.

"Charlie?" she whispered breathlessly. "Are you awake?"

"Yep, I think so," Charlie replied with a rusty voice. "But I must say that my body feels like it's still in the middle of a nightmare." Her smile almost made Jess cry again.

Jess told her what had happened to her and Charlie was quite shocked. "Someone out there is trying to kill me?" She shook her head. "I think my Casanova days are over, if this is the result."

"What? What do you.?"

"Nothing, beautiful." Charlie took her hand and squeezed it gently. "How are you doing? You look tired."

"I've been so worried," Jess confessed shyly and averted her eyes. This felt weird. but wonderful, caring like this. having butterflies flying around like they were on speed.

Oh Katie, I miss you and I don't think I can do this to you..

"Jess, who was she?"

"What...what do you mean.."

"The woman that brings you that much pain."

Jess stared at Charlie in shock. How did she know? She hadn't told her anything about Katie. How..

"Easy now," Charlie smiled. "I haven't been spying on you or anything. I just heard some of the nurses talking and the pain in your eyes told me the rest.. Who is she, Jess?"

And Jess told her about Katie. How they met at school, slowly becoming friends. How she began noticing Katie's hair, her eyes, how she looked in a tank top. How Katie suddenly became the center of the world and how suddenly the best days were the ones they were together, days when they talked for hours, looking each other deeply in the eyes and holding hands like innocent teenage girls often does.

And then Jessie's stepsister told her that Katie was gay. Her world collapsed because there was a truth in that statement that she wasn't ready to face, so she did the meanest thing she could do and began avoiding her best friend.

It caused Katie a lot of pain and despair that Jessie didn't acknowledge. No, that was not quite true. She saw the pain in her friend's eyes, but the thought of what it all meant made her run and hide.

A letter from Katie threatened to drown Jess in emotions. It told her how Katie felt, how madly Katie had fallen in love with her and how hurtful Jessie's recent behavior was. In the letter Katie begged her to forgive and forget about the unwanted love. She hadn't meant for Jessie to ever find out, but now that she did Katie had to be honest about her feelings, even if Jessie didn't return them.

The letter had blown Jessie's mind and her emotions were reeling. Things were never easy for Jessie. Her mind always got in the way of the easiest solutions.

Jessie had been different all her life. A child in a broken family and even if that wasn't so uncommon, she still felt guilty somehow.  And different. The pain of always being separated from one of her parents didn't make things easier.

She had always been 'the sensitive and smart kid who had a touch of her mother's depression' and everybody treated her like she was a fragile piece of porcelain. And then of course she became 'an anorectic'.  And she had always been 'a monosyllabic loner' without many friends, who actually seemed to prefer her own company.  And there were probably a lot more that Jessie didn't want to think about.

A lot of stigmata for such a young person. Was she ready to take on another and very life-altering one?

She loved Katie, no doubt about that, and she never understood when her classmates had obsessed-like talks about boys. And kissing? She never got that. Kissing Tad had been like. kissing her own hand. She felt nothing.

And then Katie came to her room in the attic to get her sweater. Or at least that was the reason she gave. They started arguing or discussing or whatever it was they did. And they ended up hugging, finding each other again, agreeing that they were still friends.

And then, out of the blue and totally overwhelmed by the emotions Katie ignited in her, Jessie had kissed Katie. Briefly, almost innocent. The intensity had shocked her, made her lose both breath and words, but Katie understood.

And Jessie kissed her again, more solid this time, and everything inside clicked. Doubt vanished and for the first time in her short life that hollow spot inside her that she had learned to fear, didn't feel cold and threatening. It tingled with warmth and anticipation.

And then they stood forehead to forehead for a long time enjoying the wonderful feelings that passed between them. Katie smiled and held her tight. Jessie felt like flying, like she was walking on fluffy clouds. And it wasn't just a banal cliché, she grinned inwardly, who would have thought..

And then they kissed again. This time more passionate, tongues playing, hands caressing every available spot. Her breath came back with a vengeance and she felt a sudden flush of blood heading south, making the seldom touched spot between her legs tighten and pulsate with...want. with need..

And then finally Jessie KNEW, she GOT it; she understood what the other girls talked about. It felt absolutely mind-blowing wonderful!

And she knew that even if she wasn't ready yet, Katie would be the one that made her 'a woman', cliché or no cliché.

"You loved her very much," Charlie whispered, after Jess had told her about Katie's death and how devastated she had been.

"Yes, I did."

"I'm not trying to replace her or anything, Jess, I respect the love you shared, but let me be your friend, give yourself permission to live a little. The way you describe Katie, I think she would approve.

Jess nodded. She and Charlie hugged for a long time.

And then, softly, giving Jess every opportunity to move away or say no, Charlie brought their lips together in sweet kiss.

"Oh.." Sarah's shocked voice startled them both. Both Sarah and Jess blushed furiously. Charlie smirked; finding it hard not to show her mirth, even though she knew it was highly inappropriate, but she was so pleased that Jess had kissed her back, that she almost couldn't contain herself.

Sarah was pale as a ghost.

Jess started giggling nervously.

************

And the next morning Charlie was dead.

16 Sam

During the funeral she had a lot of time to think. Thoughts about her dead friend, who died under mysterious circumstances, thoughts about Nic's threats and...Brooke.

Everybody around her began to sing and the high-pitched noise interrupted Sam's thoughts. She had Jess on her left side and Willow on her right. Jess' friend Sarah had her arms firmly around the stony faced blonde, who obviously did everything to keep her emotions in check. Huge blue eyes were the only thing that blew her cover, the barely hidden pain in them that Sam had noticed before, told everybody that cared enough to take a closer look, that this woman was about to shatter into millions of devastated pieces.

This woman reminded her in so many ways of Brooke. Always hiding the pain, fragile and sensitive, letting it all eat her up from the inside.

But like Brooke she was probably stronger and more capable than one would think. A paradox that fascinated Sam the most about Brooke.

She heard sobbing and crying from people around her. Charlie was a wonderful person who had a lot of friends and ex-lovers, and a good part of both were here today, crying their eyes out.

Sam's eyes were dry. She had cried the whole night before and wasn't about to let the whole world witness her grief.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted. Brooke. and. the troublemaker that Willow called Faith. How dared she? She had tried more than once to pick up a fight with the normally so good-natured Charlie and now she had the gall to come to Charlie's funeral. And what was Brooke doing here...together with HER?

Sam bit down on her rising anger. She didn't want to see Brooke again, they had talked and nothing good came out of that. Why didn't she go home?

The morning after Nicole told her to leave; she and Brooke ate breakfast together, trying to 'solve things' as Brooke said.

But they hadn't 'solved' a thing..

Brooke wanted explanations and Sam couldn't give it to her. She knew she had been stupid listening to Nicole, let her control her life like that. But done was done and she had to live with the consequences of her misjudgment.

And Brooke looked so hurt. it almost killed her being unable to make it better. Then they moved into more familiar territory and started yelling at each other.

And then Brooke cried..

And then Sam left without making things better.

And now Brooke was here, at Charlie's funeral, in the company of a woman of questionable virtue and capable of violence and God knew what else..

"What is Faith up to?" she heard Willow mumble.

************

After the service Willow and Sam stood by the buffet the family had put up, and they watched with concern a still stony faced Jess apparently listening to a very talkative Sarah.

"You got to tell me more about this Faith-woman," Sam said quietly.

"I saw her with your sister.."

"Stepsister."

"How do they know each other?" Willow shook her head. "I wouldn't have thought.."

"Thought what?" Sam asked.

"Your sister.."

"Stepsister."

"Faith is not that kind of woman I would have thought your, as you put it, 'very straight and narrow sister'. sorry, stepsister, would...befriend. And they seem to know each other rather well."

The women in question entered the room, talking comfortably with each other.

"And why are they here?" Willow studied Faith closely. "As far as we know your sister.."

Sam started to correct her, but Willow stopped her.

"Brooke didn't know Charlie, right?"

Sam nodded her confirmation. She was pretty sure of that.

"And Faith and Charlie wasn't, let's say, the best of friends, right?"

Sam nodded again.

"She's up to something, but what?" Willow was talking to herself now and Sam just listened, hoping to get some of her own questions answered.

"I don't believe for one minute that all this is one big innocent coincidence; Buffy being blown away, then Faith shows up, then someone try to kill Buffy in the hospital, and after Charlie and Faith almost fight several times, Charlie ends up dead."

"What is it with that woman?" Sam sounded afraid now.

"She has killed before, but...I don't know.."

"Why? If you think she's a killer. a murderer or whatever, what.."

"Killing by poison or tamper with Buffy's machines isn't Faith's style, she's more of an hands on kind of woman, so to speak. I must be missing something.."

"She needs a motive, too, doesn't she? Getting into fights with Charlie shouldn't be enough, should it?"

"The Faith I knew was highly irrational and had her own codex, her own way of viewing things, she doesn't need a plausible excuse. at least she didn't use to."

Sam didn't know what to do with all these new information. She watched Brooke and Faith prepare to leave, and she winced at the possessive hand on Brooke's lower back.

Willow and Sam followed the two woman from the window and watched them walk over to Brooke's car.

They talked for a couple of minutes before Brooke kissed Faith softly on the lips and drove away alone.

If Willow hadn't been there to steady her, Sam would have fainted on the spot.

What the hell is going on?!!

17 Jess

Jess was drunk. For the second time in her young life she was so drunk that she could hardly stand.

Sarah had been a pest all night, clinging to her like Jess was too unstable to leave alone for a second. She was so damn tired of it! And when Sarah went to the toilet, Jess split the bar they were at and headed for a more familiar bar.

For some reason Sarah never liked Argo, but Jess did and right know she wanted to do things that SHE wanted, not what her friend expected from her.

After Charlie's funeral Sarah had barely left her side and Jess was beginning to feel a little bit claustrophobic. Sarah tried to control Jess' every movement, following her closely and not allowing her quiet moments to think and grief. Jess was beginning to fear that it wouldn't take long before Sarah would be feeding and bathing her like she was a baby. And Jess was really starting to resent her friend's way of overprotecting her.

Had Sarah been like this when Katie died? Jess couldn't remember, at that time she had been totally numb and completely lost, and she hadn't exactly been very observant, so she couldn't really tell how Sarah had acted, how smothering she had been.

To hell with it. All this could be considered and dealt with in the morning, right now she wanted to get more drunk, forget the feelings that were beginning to develop between her and Charlie before she died, and forget the almost devastating need to talk to Katie. To feel Katie's loving warmth engulf her, tell her everything about Charlie, hoping and knowing she would understand, and then reassure her that even if she ever managed to fall in love again, Katie would always be 'THE ONE' in her heart.

Something or something made a noise behind her. She shook her head a couple of times, trying to clear the alcoholic fog messing with her senses.

"Someone there?" The sound of her own voice surprised her. It was high and shaky. It didn't sound like her at all. She giggled.

In front of her the warm glow from The Argo greeted her and told her that she was welcome.

Suddenly she felt a presence very close to her. She turned around, feeling scared for the first time. Would they hear her at the bar if she screamed?

She turned around, but saw nothing. She narrowed her eyes, trying to penetrate the darkness. Still nothing.

Maybe it was the drugged senses that went amok? It was stupid walking alone at night in a town she wasn't familiar with yet. Katie always said that she wanted to live in Europe, because in most Vest-European capitals, at least that was what someone had told her, women felt that they could walk alone at night. They could leave their children unattended in a baby carriage outside stores and restaurants. Jess didn't think one could do that in Chicago. In this town? Probably not.

Something touched her shoulder and she almost fainted. Stiff with fear she turned around, expecting to see a monster of Stephen King-proportions.

"What are you.."

A strong hand in a glove covered mouth and a blow to the side of her head stopped her from saying more.

18 Willow

When Willow came to visit Buffy to tell her unconscious friend about Charlie's death, about Faith's possible role and how Willow wanted to confront the dark slayer. that is if she could find Faith, her friend was not alone.

"Hallo, Willow," Dawn said. "It's been a while."

"Dawn?" Hot and cold shivers of chock ran through Willow's body. She wasn't ready for this confrontation, wasn't ready for 'the talk'.

'When will you be ready?' an inner voice whispered. 'You have been dodging this for years.'

"How did you know." Willow scanned her brain for the right words.

"How did I know you were here?" Dawn smiled, a lopsided grin that settled with a painful thud in Willow's chest because it reminded her so much of Tara.

Willow nodded.

"F.." Dawn hesitated for a moment. "Someone told me you visited Buffy everyday."

"Someone? One of the nurses? Jess?"

"It doesn't matter, Will." Dawn dismissed the questions with a hand gesture. "How have you been? You haven't been writing or phoning much these past years." There was no bitterness in the tone of her voice; she just stated a fact. "Not that you ever ask for me when you call.."

And no, Willow always talked to Buffy when she phoned Sunnydale, and no one else. After she left for good all communication with Dawn or Xander went through Buffy. She couldn't face the distrust still lurking in the back of Dawn's gaze, and the 'I want it to be how it once were' in Xander's.

And essentially there wasn't any more words left in her, she was no longer the Willow her friends used to know and love.

And she couldn't bare the thought of their disappointment when they finally realized that.

And she couldn't take on much more hurt and pain. Keeping the past in the past would be better in the long run. For them, too. She hadn't anything left to give.

For a short while she had thought it could work out, that she could start living again, maybe even love again, making new friends and meeting Sam had. but it was a scam, a delusion, a..

"I've missed you, Willow," Dawn said and smiled, a sad smile without much hope for a getting a positive reaction out of her old friend.

Willow blinked, tears stung behind her eyelids, a lump formed in her throat and it was rapidly reaching a size that threatened to choke her.

"Dawn.." she managed to get past the lump. There was a plea in that one word, despite the fact that her voice had lost all strength and authority. Willow hoped that Dawn would understand some of the things she wanted to say, but couldn't. Someday she might be able to do it, but not now.

"When are you going to forgive us, Willow? We miss you. I miss you."

"WHAT? What do you mean? Forgive you? You're not. I am...WHAT?" Willow babbled.

Dawn giggled at first and then she smiled, a full smile this time, and Willow couldn't help but smile back, a little nervously but a smile nevertheless.

Dawn turned serious again. "Can you ever forgive us for not being there? We. I didn't understand what you were going through with the addiction, with Tara's death, maybe I was too young, but we should have been there. we should.."

"But you were, Dawn, there wasn't anything more you could have done."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Dawn.." Willow wanted to cry, wanted to run, not necessarily in that order.

"I know," Dawn nodded sadly. "Promise me that we'll talk later. Please, don't run away. I know we have other things to deal with now, but promise me. please?"

And Willow promised..

And then she told Dawn about the attempted murder on Buffy, Charlie's death by poison and how Faith had lurked around it all, behaving very suspiciously.

"You really think she got something to do with all this?" Dawn asked skeptically, clearly not agreeing with Willow's assessment.

"I will know for sure when I find her."

"How?"

"I don't know yet, but somehow I got to make her talk." Silently Willow hoped that she didn't have to use magic on Faith, but she intended to get the truth out of the dark slayer, one way or the other.

Dawn nodded in agreement. "I think you should give her a chance, Will, talk to her. I'm sure that she has nothing to with it. Prison changed her."

"We'll see. I have to find her first."

"I know where she stays."

"What?!" Willow was stunned.

"I know where she stays," Dawn repeated.

19 Sam

Sam was at loss.

A moment ago, when she had been outside Argo to dump some trash, she heard something. A noise that sounded like a muffled scream. Quickly she ran out on the streets trying to determinate where the sound came from, but she couldn't see anything out of the ordinary in the empty street. No people around, no cars driving by. Nothing.

She tried to laugh it off, tried to convince herself that her mind was playing tricks on her, but deep inside she was sure the scream came from Jess. If someone asked her why she was so sure of that, she wouldn't have an answer to give, she just KNEW.

So now she was at loss.

She couldn't go to the police with only a 'feeling' to back her up, but she couldn't ignore her instincts either and she somehow KNEW something was wrong.

"Are you okay?" Nikki asked.

"I'm not. I'm not feeling well. I think.."

"Go home, Sam, I'll cover for you. Helen will be here soon, she can help out if it becomes necessary."

Sam smiled gratefully at her employer. "Thanks, Nikki."

Nikki shrugged. "Can't lose my best bartender, can I now? By making her work when she should be home in bed." She grinned. "Alone, that is!"

Sam blushed and made a face. "I'll be good, I promise."

"Just get better, then everything is good. Now shut your gob and go get some sleep." Nikki pushed her gently in the back. "The door is THAT way."

Sam placed an exaggerated kiss on Nikki's cheek. "Helen is right, you know. You're really incredible nice, thank you."

Nikki shushed her. "I have a reputation to protect."

*******

For a long time she sat in the car contemplating what to do, hoping that an answer would pop up and solve everything with one brilliant idea. None came. None whatsoever..

A car came into her line of sight. It looked familiar. Sam narrowed her eyes. Brooke. When the car passed her she could see that there was two people in it, Brooke and a dark-haired woman...Faith, most likely. Sam shuddered.

She hesitated for a moment before she made a decision. She started the engine and followed Brooke's car.

They stopped at a seedy hotel in a part of the town Sam never dared visit before. She had a hard time understanding Brooke's actions, and her being in a place like this.

'That Faith-woman must have some sort of hold on her, that's the only reasonable explanation..'

Brooke's car parked behind a tree and Sam couldn't see a thing. She cursed softly and opened the door. A brutal pull almost made her lose the grip on the door and practically fall out of the car. A very intimidating Faith grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and dragged her out of the car and up on her feet.

"Why are you following us?" she sneered. An eyebrow lifted when she suddenly recognized Sam and an amused expression spread on her face. "Hey, it's you, well hallo, Sammygirl, how can I help you? Aren't you a little out of your
usual hunting ground?"

Sam cringed at the nickname both Faith and Nicole seemed to like so much.

"Faith, what's going on?" Brooke's voice. "Why are you.. Sam?! I that you?"

Sam chose not to say anything. There wasn't anything to say really. This was NOT a perfect situation to get caught in, she had no plausible excuse for being here.

"You followed us?" Brooke's surprise was evident. "What in the hell is going on?"

Faith grinned. "Come on, girls, let's take this inside."

********

"So?" Brooke clearly demanded an answer.

Sam winced and tried to be even smaller on the chair she was sitting on.

Faith kept on grinning like a highly amused maniac. Sam felt a nervous knot of ice tighten in her gut. This woman really rubbed her the wrong way and the look in Brooke's eyes made her very uneasy.

"So?" Brooke repeated, clearly expecting an answer.

"W...well," Sam stuttered and flushed a bit. "I.."

"Let me," Faith interrupted her pathetic attempt of finding words. "You were worried that I hurt your sister, right?"

"Stepsister!" both Sam and Brooke quickly corrected her.

Faith rolled her eyes and smirked. "Stepsisters." The word rolled from her lips like it had four highly sexual letters instead of ten.

"Sam?" Brooke's eyes bored into hers.

"I."

Brooke laughed. "She works for me, Sam?"

"What?!"

"Faith is working for me. She's the one who found you."

20 Will

It took some time to persuade Dawn to stay with Buffy and let her speak with Faith alone, but in the end Dawn relented and let her go to Faith's hotel by herself.

"Try the civilized approach, Will," Dawn had suggested only half in jest. "Don't dismiss her because of her attitude. Give her a chance, she might surprise you."

"Tell me about you and Faith, Dawn. How did you meet her? Are you friends? Does Buffy know? What about.."

Dawn sighed. "I will explain it all, Will, but not now. Later, when everything is solved,"

*******

And now Willow and Faith stood staring at one another. Faith's surprise had been evident when she opened the door and found Willow standing outside.

"What the fuck..!" Dark eyes widened and Faith's usual smirk was nowhere to be seen.

What Willow saw behind Faith almost made her fall on her ass. Sam's questioning eyes met hers and further to the left Willow saw Sam's sist...uhm stepsister.

Faith gathered her wits and. smirked. "Well, well, well," she bowed and let Willow enter her room. "Welcome to the party, Red."

********

Two dumbfounded women listened to Brooke telling them that Faith was the private investigator that Brooke had hired to find her stepsister. And that the seemingly very incompatible women had become very good friends during the months of Faith's search for Sam.

Willow had some difficulties combining the Faith Brooke befriended with the one she knew when she was a teenager. And the Faith Brooke talked about was indeed very different from the regular customer from Argo Bar who picked up fights and girls with ease, had a dirty and spiteful mouth on her and seemed to be around when everything bad happened these days.

Faith saw her doubt and when Brooke and Sam started arguing, she came over and sat beside Willow.

"You don't trust me, do you, Red?"

"Should I?"

"Maybe you should try something bright new, then?"

"I haven't had any reason to trust you before," Willow said coldly. "You are not the most trustworthy person I have met in my life."

Faith shrugged. "I suppose not."

Their eyes met, both of them trying to gauge the other's intentions, motives or whatever else they could get a hint of.

"You think I'm behind Buffy's accident?"

Willow flinched.

"That's what I thought." Faith smirked, but her eyes had a strange expression that Willow couldn't interpret.

"Are you?"

"Would you really believe me if I say no?"

"Probably not," Willow admitted.

Faith flashed her humorless smile. "I can't win, can I? You have a very cemented view on who and what I am, based on your well-founded experience with the teenager I once were. And I have no fucking chancel to change that, have I? But I can sure have some fun with it. You are so easy to wind up, Red."

Willow's angry eyes bored into Faith's. "You think it's fun to joke about who put Buffy in a coma? Or that Charlie is dead?"

Faith eyes narrowed. "Fuck, Red. You think I killed Charlie?!"

"You tell me!" Willow snapped.

Faith laughed and shook her head. "I didn't kill her, Red, you should know that poison is not my style, but I intend to find out who did, with or without your help."

"Why in the hell.? Why, Faith?"

Faith shrugged. "My good old instincts, combined with my, if I may say so myself, damn good investigation skills, tell me that this murder is somehow connected to a murder I'm interested in."

Willow was very skeptical; she wasn't sure what to believe. Years of distrust and hatred were a huge barrier to overthrow. Faith sensed her turmoil and continued her explanation:

"A friend of mine died. She disappeared during a trip on the sea. The police called it an accident, but I don't believe it."

"Why not?"

"She was afraid of water, never learned to swim properly because of that. I don't think for a single fucking minute that a woman afraid of drowning will get out on her own on a boat and then fall overboard without a west. That sounds fucking weird to me."

"Not a demon's work, then?"

"Nope." Faith flashed a mischievous grin. "Pure human, Red. Evil runs in people, too, you know."

Willow averted her eyes and whispered: "I know.."

"Lately I have tried to connect all the blurry dots I have collected, and I think I'm closing in on the truth." Faith's eyes turned steely. "So help me with it, Red, or stay out of my way!"

Sam and Brooke were quiet now; both of them listened with interest to the two other women's conversation.

"What's going on, Faith?" Brooke asked. "Is this about your friend Ellen's murder?"

Faith nodded.

"I...t...think I have to t...ell you s...something," Sam stuttered nervously, her previous anger and hurt forgotten.

Willow took her hand and Brooke's eyes narrowed in disapproval. "You are pale, Sam, are you okay?"

"I d...don't know. Jess.."

"What about Jess?" Suddenly Willow felt a chill run down her spine. Even before Sam said a word, she knew something was wrong. The way Faith's whole body tensed, it was obvious that the slayer's instincts told her the same.

"I think s...something bad happened to Jess."

21 Sam & Willow

Sam

After a heated and nonproductive discussion about Sam having absolutely NO right to follow after Brooke and about her even lesser right to have an opinion about who Brooke chose to befriend or not.

AND of course after Willow and Faith stopped their arguing about who caused Buffy's coma and Charlie's death, Sam told them about her experience outside The Argo Bar, how it told her that something was wrong with Jess.

It surprised her how easily Willow and Faith believed her, Brooke was a bit more skeptical.

"You never actually SAW your friend Jess?" she asked. "When you heard that noise?"

"No, but I'm sure about this, believe me, I have never been more sure of anyt.."

"Have you been to her place? Contacted work or family?" Brooke continued like a sledgehammer. "Have you even tried to find out if she's all right?"

"No, I.." Sam couldn't get herself to remind Brooke of a dark-haired woman in Sam's stepsister's car that made her forget about her friend and made her follow the car instead.

Brooke would not be pleased..

"Brooke got a point there," Faith said, let's get out of here and see if we can track Jessie down."

************

Willow

Jess was gone, nobody knew where she was and no one had seen her after she left the bar drunk.

"Can't you try some tracking spell or something, without Sammygirl or Brooke getting a clue?" Faith whispered and pointed to the sleeping forms of the women in question.

Willow couldn't help but notice that Brooke was the only one Faith didn't give a nickname. Good friends, Brooke had said, but knowing Faith there could be something entirely different between the two.

"Red?"

Her own budding romance with Sam had somehow died down since Brooke showed up and Charlie died. It made her a little sad thinking about what could have been.

"Red?!" Faith repeated irritated.

"What? Y..yes, I probably could, even if I don't know her that well, maybe I can get an idea about where she is, in what area of the town or something like that."

"And then we do good old footwork for the rest of it?"

Willow nodded tiredly and sighed. And for the first time since Willow knocked on Faith's door, the two women smiled at one another, a short moment the history between them was forgotten, both set of eyes softened slightly and for the first time ever they relaxed in each other's company.

A slight moan from a sleeping Sam, snuggling closer to Brooke on the bed they reluctantly shared, brought Willow mind back to the problems they faced.

"Let's get to work, then," she husked. The tone in her voice almost made her flinch out of her skin in surprise, but she chose to ignore it and begged that Faith hadn't noticed.

Faith's grin told her that she wasn't that lucky..

'I really hate that woman,' Willow seethed inwardly.

**********

Sam

Sam woke with her head on Brooke's chest and an arm around her midriff. One of Brooke's hands rested in San's hair and the other one attached to a very insistent arm hugged her closer.

This was a very compromising situation to be in. Nicole would hate her to death if she knew. Sam giggled, but stopped immediately when she felt Brooke move a little. She didn't want the closeness to end, so she kept her breath until Brooke sighed in her sleep and snuggled even closer.

"Get up, lovebirds, we got work to do," Faith's shouted across the room.

Brooke awoke with a start and stared confused at Sam, clearly not comprehending the way they were tangled up.

Sam quickly released her and practically jumped from the bed.

A smugly grinning Faith told them that she and Willow were on their way out. "We have some ideas to the whereabouts of Jessie."

"How? How can you.."

"Just trust us, Sam," Willow said. "We know what we're doing."

"I'm going with you," Sam said determinedly, she couldn't let what she had experienced in the dark outside Argo go that easy. She had to help find Jess.

"Me, too," Brooke said, to Sam's horror.

Willow sighed and looked at Faith who nodded slightly. "Okay, you're coming with us."

"Let's talk to Jessie's friend before we do anything," Faith suggested.

"Sarah?" Sam asked.

Faith nodded.

"Let's go, then," Willow said. "We don't have any time to spare."

22 Willow & Sam

Willow

Sarah wasn't as cooperative as Willow had expected she would be. Her whole attitude was distrustful and condescending, and she irritably explained that Jess often went away on her own. Jess was a very private person who liked solitude. She pointed out that Jess HAD taken some time off from the hospital and that they should stay out of things that weren't even their business to begin with.

At one point it looked like Faith was about to smack her former date's face in, and Willow found herself gently touching the slayer's tense arm soothingly several times, trying to calm her down.

She found it a little weird to be in this position, working together with Faith was the last thing she ever thought she would do, but actually Faith behaved very professionally despite her being close to whacking Sarah. Faith seemed to know her job and Brooke had praised her highly, her company had apparently used Faith's services on several successful occasions.

This was obviously a grown-up and responsible version of Faith. The provocative street cat from The Argo Bar was gone. And they hadn't even argued since they left the hotel..

She had actually started to like this Faith a little. A TINY... little...bit..

Who would have thought that could ever happen?

**********

Sam

Waking up all tangled up with Brooke had made this day an extremely awkward one.  Brooke refused to meet her eyes and kept a physical distance that almost felt like a blow to the stomach every time Brooke hurried away from her with a blank expression on her face.

Sam knew that they needed to talk, she just didn't know how to begin the dreaded conversation. And Nicole.. She hung over both of them like an axe waiting to either decapitate Sam or ruin everything trying.

And Brooke was completely unaware of what had happened between Sam and her so-called best friend. How would she react when she heard about the whole sordid affaire? With hatred and disappointment? Or would she believe Sam's version and understand. at least SOME part of the horrendous story, and not join up with Nicole and help her lead the axe to its very fragile target?

Sam wanted to run, hide her head deeply in the sand, and never ever feel like this again.

**********

Willow

"Let's ditch the lovebirds and nail the sick chick." Faith whispered.

"What?!" Willow almost dropped her coffee. "What are you talking about?"

"Everything points in her direction, Red."

"You mean Sarah?"

Faith nodded. "I fairly sure she killed my friend Ellen and probably one woman before that, and I'm damn sure she either killed Jessie or is keeping her somewhere. I think somehow Jessie is the connection to all the murders."

"How? What do you know?"

"I tell you later, but first we have to get a car so we will be able to follow her when she leaves the hospital. If she keeps Jessie alive somewhere, she will be going there after work. But we can't take those two with us."  She gave Sam and Brooke, sitting far away from each other in Willow small living room, a wry look. "They don't know what we're dealing with."

"I think I have an idea that might keep them occupied for some time."

**********

Sam

Brooke's fingers worked the keyboard very efficiently. Willow had asked them to find out everything they could about Sarah.

"I never liked her, never understood why Jess befriended her. A common background as childhood friends I suppose." Sam thought of Nicole and Brooke and smiled a little. "But it's very disquieting to think of her as a murderer, and it's really shit that we can't call the police."

Brooke shrugged and kept on working the keyboard. "The police can't do a thing with what we got. Even if Faith is fairly sure that Sarah killed her friend Ellen, there isn't any proof."

"What's the story?" Sam asked.

"Ellen was apparently very much in love with Sarah and she dreamed of their life together like it was a fairytale bound to happen. Faith didn't trust Sarah and tried to warn her friend. She told me that all her instinct went nuts when she was around Sarah."

"Her instincts?"

"I don't know, those feelings that makes her a great investigator, I guess. Anyway, Sarah told the police that she was prevented from going on that boat-trip with Ellen, and that Ellen went out on her own."

"And the police believed her?"

Brooke smiled. "Everybody believed her, including her friend Jess."

"Jess knew Sarah AND Ellen," Sam said thoughtfully. "A connection there."

"Yes." Brooke hesitated. "I don't know how much I should tell you. Faith is very secretive with stuff like this."

"We're in this together, aren't we? All of us."

"Okay." Brooke eyes met Sam's for the first time since they woke up in each other's arms. "Jess' lover Katie, have you heard about her?"

Sam nodded. "She died a year ago or so."

"She disappeared on a trip with some friends in the mountains. Faith was there with Ellen when it happened, and Sarah, too. The day before she disappeared Sarah told everybody that she had to go home and finish some business, but Faith thinks she stayed and killed Katie."

"Why? W...why did she..? W...what made her..?" Sam blinked, trying to fit all the pieces together in her mind.

"Faith thinks that she's somehow obsessed with Jess, and she's not happy when people get to close to her... obsession."

"Charlie.." Sam breathed.

Brooke nodded.

Sam couldn't help herself, she had to know. "You seem to know a lot about all this, about Faith.."

"We're very close friends, Sammy." But Brooke's reddening cheeks told Sam that there was more to it than that. A knot of ice formed in her gut.

Brooke's face was blank for some time, and then she seemed to come to a decision. "We have been on and off lovers since we met."

"You.." Sam couldn't find any usable words anywhere near her vocal chords.

'Your oh so straight and narrow stepsister, for whom you have had a serious crush on for years and years, tells you that she's involved with a beautiful, skilled and very dangerous woman, WOMAN is the operative word here. Where do you find the right response in a situation like that?'

"You.." Sam tried again. "You.."

Brooke smiled, or at least she tried to. "Yes, me."

"You.. you love...love her?"

"Yes I do, but not in the way you imply. I love her like the wonderful friend she is, AND I find her very attractive, but I'm not IN love with her."

"You think she is...attractive?"

"Yes, don't you? She looks a lot like you, don't you think?"

"L...like...m...me?" Sam choked out.

They stared at one another for a very intense moment, then Brooke turned away to focus on her computer again.

Silently Sam followed her fingers dancing, not knowing what to say, if anything..

"There's something here," Brooke pointed at something on the monitor. "She owns a cabin outside the city."

"Jess could be there?"

"If she's alive.. Do we tell Faith and Re...Willow about this?"

Sam wasn't too keen on seeing Faith right now. "They are waiting for Sarah outside the hospital. No need to disturb them now. We can go and take a look."

Brooke nodded. "Great idea."

23 Willow & Sam

Willow

"What did Dawn say?"  Faith stretched her body as much as the car allowed.

"Buffy is beginning to respond to stimuli," Willow answered with tears in her eyes. "I'm sure she's on her way back to us."

"Great!" Faith's smile almost cut her face in two.

Without thinking they hugged each other. Willow stiffened and pulled back. "Sorry," she murmured.

"Are you?" Faith asked darkly. "Then I'm sorry, too."

The next minutes were spent in an uncomfortable silence.

Finally Faith broke it with a question: " Do you still think I put her in coma?"

"I don't know what to think anymore.."

"In a way I did." Faith eyes were unreadable.

Willow eyes widened and her whole body tensed.

"She shouldn't have been there, Will."

"What do you mean?"

"Buffy shouldn't have been there." Faith eyes shone with a mixture of guilt and pain. "I was in Sunnydale on a job. I met Dawn at some café and we started talking. We saw each other almost everyday while I was there, eating breakfast together, dinners.. She convinced me that I should talk to Buff, and finally I gathered my courage and did it."

And then Faith told Willow how she and Buffy slowly, very slowly, became some sort of friends, tentative friends, but nevertheless friends.

When Faith left Sunnydale they promised to stay in touch and help each other out when it was necessary.

Faith was the first one asking for help. She phoned Buffy and asked her to look into something for her. The East European Mafia, or in this case East European Slavers, sold their women to brothels throughout the States and Faith heard a rumor that a group was based in Sunnydale.

Buffy went to check their hideout, to see if something was going on. The slavers knew that Faith was on their trail and they knew she was WAY more dangerous than anything they had dealt with before, therefore they were prepared for the worst.

"They thought she was me, Will. They thought she was me. She wouldn't be in a coma if it wasn't for me."

There were tears in Faith's eyes. And in Willow's too for that matter. The discomfort between them was temporarily forgotten, and Willow took the crying Faith into her arms and comforted her the best she could.

********

They sat as far away from each as the car made possible for them.

"You're not ready to see me as anything but the psycho slayer, are you?" Faith asked hoarsely.

"I don't know." Willow hesitated and the sighed softly. "I never expected to. I don't know.."

"See me again? Work with me? Like me?"

"Yes.."

"What?"

"You didn't have to... to."

"Kiss you? I know, Will. Gut reflex when I have a beautiful woman in my arms, I'm sorry if I offended you." Faith sounded hurt and Willow flinched at the harshness in her voice.

"Faith.."

Faith closed her eyes and visibly tried to calm herself down. "No, Red, you're right. I'm sorry. We have work to do and I'm behaving like a fucking amateur. I'm sorry, okay?"

Willow nodded. Her heart constricted at the use of Red instead of Will, symbolizing a backlash to the progress they had made on their way to being friends.

Faith looked at her watch. "Shit, she should have been here a long time ago. Willow phone the hospital."

Sarah had left an hour ago.

********

Sam

"This is really a perfect place if you want to hide someone. There's not a neighbor in sight."

Brooke shivered. "I don't like this, Sammy."

"Me neither."

"It was your idea!"

"Are you sure?" Sam feigned surprise, trying to lighten the situation they were in. "I'm certain that you.."

A little crooked smile on Brooke's otherwise serious face, told Sam that had succeeded.

"Let's try and find a way in," she took Brooke's hand. "We'll be okay. Sarah is at the hospital, nothing bad is going to happen."

They found a door that conveniently enough was open.

"We can't just walk in," Brooke whispered. "Can we?"

"It's probably not the most legal thing in the world." Sam grabbed Brooke's hand. "But let's do it anyway. If Jess is in there.."

"It would be worth it, right?"

Sam nodded in agreement.

And then they slowly opened the door.

The room was quite dark, but they saw a suitcase in front of them. The room had a certain feeling about it, like someone had just been there.

"Sam!"

"Oh, shit.."

24 Jess

*Something touched her shoulder and she almost fainted. Stiff with fear she turned around, expecting to see a monster of Stephen King-proportions.

"What are you.."

A strong hand in a glove covered mouth and a blow to the side of her head stopped her from saying more.*

*******

'Water..'
She moaned when pain penetrated every part of the brain that was still functioning. Not that much seemed to function at all, but that was beside the point. The pain was unbearable and she wanted to scream, go back to the state of unconsciousness she had been in moments before, anything that could get rid of that insufferable throbbing mixed with sharp stabs of white-hot pain.

Slowly and very carefully she opened an eye. And quickly closed it again.
'God, it hurts!'
She tried one more time.
The world was a blur of light and dark, and she couldn't make sense of anything in her surroundings.
'Where am I? What happened?'

"Good morning, Jessie," a familiar voice made her open both eyes, WAY to fast. The dizziness almost made her faint, and she closed them against what she expected to be bad news.

"Come on, honey, open your cute blue eyes."

Jess tried to put it all together, but it was very difficult to concentrate.

"I'm waiting." the voice said impatiently.

And the whirling clues in Jess' confused brain connected and she flinched when reality blew her mind open.

"Sarah," she gasped, suddenly remembering how she ended up tied to a bed and with a splitting headache. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Profane, Jessie, that not like you at all."

Focusing on Sarah finally made the blur disappear and it almost made her forget the pain. Her friend, or former friend was probably the most accurate term, sat on another bed a few feet away. The bed had a device, that looked like the ones they put patients in that needed respirator to stay alive.

Sarah smiled, and Jess felt a fearful shiver run up and down the spine. This wasn't at all the Sarah she thought she knew.

It hit her deep in the gut that this was the Sarah that Katie had feared, the one Katie didn't trust.

When they were teenagers Katie had talked about how she was a little scared of her old friend, that Sarah buried a lot of hatred inside, but Jess hadn't listened.

When they got older Sarah remained a part of their social circle, mainly because they were all gay and befriended the same people, but they were never close. Katie didn't want her closer than she already was.

Jess had thought that Katie's reservation was born out of their mutual history. Sarah had once been in love with Katie and had done all she could to split the pair up when they began dating, and she treated Jess badly for years after that. And she even continued after she knew that there was nothing she could do to damage the love between Jess and Katie. But maybe Katie sensed something else?

Maybe Katie had sensed that madwoman sitting a few feet away; smiling broadly, almost radiant, like knocking out and tying up her friends was a normal thing to do.

"This is how it's supposed to be, Jessie," she said and nodded confidently. "You'll see."

Jess chose to ignore that statement. Clearly Sarah had gone over the edge of sanity, and Jess wasn't sure how to handle that.

Sarah made a gesture towards the bed she was sitting on. "I had a dream for years about her seeing us making love for the first time, Jessie." She smiled happily. "And now it's finally going to happen. I want her to watch the beauty we can create without her interference."

'Her? What is she talking about?' Another thought came to her and she just HAD to ask. "You killed Charlie, didn't you?"

"She was getting to close, like Ellen did, she could have spoiled everything, spoiled our happiness, and we deserve being happy, don't we?"

'Oh God.. This can't be. it just can't..'

Sarah moved the devise over the bed, and revealed a body lying there attached to all sorts of tubes and machines.

Jess stretched her body as far as she could, and saw a glimpse of a very pale face with unhealthy dark circles around closed eyes. Dirty blonde hair chopped short with no care for how it would look. A very thin arm with needle marks all over it, rested on the blanket that covered the body. It twitched, like its owner tried to wake up.

"She'll be awake to see us making each other very happy, Jessie. She'll be awake when you reach the ultimate high. She'll listen to your moans, your pleas, she'll hear you screaming my name in pleasure. Isn't that GREAT?"

And then Jess recognized the broken body on the bed, and a combination of despair, agony and shear happiness went through her like a blazing fire.

And then she tumbled into darkness.

And temporary oblivion..

25 Willow & Jess

Willow

When Faith and Willow reached Sarah's cabin, they found a frantic crying Brooke with an almost unconscious Sam in her arm. Blood was running from a nasty looking wound and the dark hair was more dark red than brown.

Willow quickly examined the wound and it seemed superficial. Sometimes blows to head seemed a lot worse than they were, because of all the veins there that can burst and make it look like a bloodbath.

It took some time for them to get Brooke calm enough to tell what had happened and WHY they were at the cabin in the first place.

"We didn't think there was anyone here," she explained. "There wasn't any car out front or anything."

But when they opened the door Sarah's staring eyes had met them. At first she had been as surprised as they were, but she recovered quickly, and she evidently decided that her luck had run dry, her cover was blown and the only sane thing to do was escape.

Unfortunately Sam tried to stop her and Sarah hit her over the head with something heavy.

"And then she pulled a gun," Brooke shuddered. "I thought she would kill us." She pulled Sam closer to her for comfort. "But she took our cell-phones, our money and the car keys."

"Can you track her?" Faith asked Willow.

"I can try," Willow answered, "but I think she's too fragmented. I'll check the house for something to use."

And Willow wasn't prepared for what she found inside Sarah's cabin. Not prepared at all..

********

Jess

At the hospital Jess refused to leave Katie's bedside. Being a doctor helped her case a lot and she monitored her lover's progress closely.

Katie was sleeping soundly, but without the sedation Sarah had given her, it was a healthy sleep that sooner or later would make her better, make her wake up and realize she was free. Of that Jess was certain.

No one knew what Sarah had poisoned Katie's body with throughout the year Katie had been her prisoner, and how the massive drug intake had effected her brain, but physically she would be okay.

Jess couldn't believe it. Some part of her wanted to cry and yell and scream from all the emotions swamping her, another part of her was close to numb and very disbelieving of it all. That part was scared to death. She was afraid of hoping too much, of feeding herself with lies about how she and Katie would be together again.

What if Katie's brain had been damaged? What if she had to be tied to tubes for the rest of her life?

Jess felt fresh tears in her eyes, and she moved closer to her lover. She just had to touch Katie all the time, reassuring herself that she was real, that she was breathing and that her heart was beating steady and strong.

"Jessie.."

Jess felt her heart stop. Carefully she touched lover's cheek. "Katie?"

"Jessie.." The warmth and love in the weak voice almost made Jess break down for the umpteenth time.

Katie was dreaming. Dreaming of her.

Her heart threatened to burst in the middle of the cold hospital room, the throat constricted and burning tears reached shivering lips.

She buried her face against Katie's throat, feeling hope as the pulse kept tapping against her lips as a sign of survival, a second chance.

Everything was going to be okay. A fragile hope had changed to a solid belief.

26 Sam

Barely conscious after they had spoken with the police, they went straight to the closest bed, and that meant the bed in Brooke's hotel room. They fell on it exhausted, without talking much, and they didn't question the sleeping arrangement; they just cuddled up together and went to sleep immediately.

A few hours later they both woke at the same time, a deep blush colored their cheeks when they found out that their hands had migrated and had placed themselves in highly inappropriate places.

Brooke coughed and tangled herself out of Sam's arms. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Head hurt a little," Sam shrugged, "but I think I'm okay."

An uncomfortable silence darkened the room. Sam decided that she had to get out of the bed, but when she tried her head was spinning and Brooke had to help her back.

"This is shit," Sam couldn't help but giggle at her ridiculous situation.

"Shit happens." Brooke's smiled warmly. "And you have a habit of landing in the middle of it."

"You think?" Sam raised a dark eyebrow. "Really?"

They both laughed and some of the tension left the room.

"I can't remember what happened exactly," Sam finally said. "How did Will and Faith find us? What happened to Jess?"

So Brooke told her:

After Willow and Faith had found out that Sarah had left the hospital, they rushed to Brooke's hotel to regroup and deal with the new development. And of course they found the room empty. Willow got on the computer to find out what the stepsisters had been up to and she found the information about Sarah's cabin.

"We should have told them where we went, Sammy." Brooke said softly, "You could have been killed."

"I don't exactly remember. the details are a little blurry."

"She was inside the room when we opened the door and she hit you with a candlestick. And then she drove off with the car and our money."

When Willow and Faith arrived, Willow went to check the house out and found two women tied to beds; one unconscious and one gagged. Katie and Jess.

And then they called an ambulance and the police.

It was the most wonderful thing. Sam felt her heart swell. Jess and Katie reunited. A pure miracle.

"And now we're here," Brooke ended her report of the recent events.

"Where's Willow?" Sam asked, and Brooke stiffened slightly. "And Faith."

"They had some things to take care of."

Sam nodded. There was something weird about those two, even if she couldn't pinpoint what is was. Faith unsettled her. of course. Dangerous and unpredictable, but also competent and compassionate when the stakes were high, as they had been the last couple of days. And she clearly cared about Willow. Sam felt a small tug at her heartstrings when she thought about the redhead. An attraction that would never turn into something real, she thought with regret.

And Faith clearly cared about Brooke, too. Brooke and Faith. a combination that almost tore the heartstrings apart. And shredded them into millions of despaired pieces.

"Sam?" Brooke asked nervously.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Sam nodded, suddenly afraid of all the closeted skeletons Brooke may want to talk about. They hadn't even dealt with the whole Nicole-thing yet.

"Are you serious about. Re. Willow. I mean, you two are dating, aren't you?"

Sam had to stop herself from laughing out loud. In the last couple of days she and Willow had been in the same room a lot, but never alone and never in an intimate way that could make Brooke's question understandable.

"No, we haven't really dated. We hardly even kissed before all this started to happen."

"Oh."

"Can I ask YOU a question, Princess?" The old nickname seemed to please Brooke. "Are you gay?"

"I don't know." Brooke cheeks darkened.

"You don't KNOW?" Sam squeaked. "What about Faith?"

Brooke averted her eyes. "I didn't sleep with Faith, Sammy."

"You." Sam's throat constricted. "What.?! Why did you.. what?!"

"I never slept with Faith. I told you that because I wanted to hurt you."

"Why? Why on earth. I don't understand.."

"I know you don't, I don't think I do either. I wanted to wound you like you wounded me, Sammy. For a lot of reasons. For hurting me and our family by leaving, for never telling me who you really are. for Willow.."

Sam shook her head slowly. "I don't understand.."

"No, I suppose you don't."

When the phone rang, Sam almost choked on the hammering heart in her throat. Brooke got out of bed and checked the caller.

She sighed. "It's Nic, I don't want to deal with her right now. She was here earlier, telling me some farfetched story about you and her being lovers."

"What?! She did. what?" Once more Sam felt sure that death was near.

"Yes weird, right? Sometimes she's really crazy, I didn't hear the rest of her nonsense because I slammed the door in her face. I couldn't deal with her. I was too tired."

Brooke crept under the covers again, and Sam's heart once again had to deal with the effect.

"Sam?" Brooke's voice was suddenly very tentative, and almost shy.

"Yes?"

"I have been thinking."

Sam was dizzy with nervousness. "Yes?" she managed to get out.

".about why you left. Was is because you knew. that you suspected. It wasn't just because you couldn't face telling us you were gay, was it?"

Sam shook her head. No, that was the very least of it.

"Was it me?" Brooke asked softly.

"You?" Sam was flabbergasted. "Did you think I left because of you? It wasn't that bad between us, was it? Like when we were younger, I mean."

It wasn't a lie. Not completely, anyway. Sam HAD left because of Brooke, but not for the reasons Brooke thought.

Brooke sighed. "That's not what I meant."

"What then?" Instinctively Sam moved closer. "Why do you think I left, Brooke?"

Brooke was silent for a long time. Their eyes locked and waves of unspoken words passed between them.

And then Brooke slowly closed the distance between them. "Forgive me, " she whispered, and then Sam felt soft, oh so soft, lips on hers.

Sam moaned, deepening the kiss without considering the consequences for both of them.

In that moment they were no longer stepsisters, no longer former archenemies or even old high school friends. They were Sam and Brooke kissing. And the kissing was quite fantastic actually!

When they parted, both sets of eyes shone with tears. And renewed hope.

"That was.." Sam smiled.

"Exquisite.." Brooke finished and smiled back.

"Yeah. can we try it again?"

Brooke closed the distance one more time.

Sam touched the body she had secretly fantasized about for years, and it was a rush to feel the answering shivers and moans when her hand explored. Boldly she touch the marvelous breast, and she almost fainted when she felt nipples turn hard.

"I haven't." Brooke whispered raggedly. "Not with a.." and then Sam's lips closed on a hard nipple and Brooke forgot everything.

For a long time they both forgot about their parents, forgot about a presumably pissed off Nicole, and they conveniently forgot the reasons why Sam had left. They forgot about Faith and Willow, forgot about Sarah and the miracle of Jess and Katie.

But they remembered Sam and Brooke, and they added some fresh knowledge of exquisite ways to make each other feel wonderful and loved to the pile of new memories for them to share.

All the rest had to wait..

27  Willow

Two weeks went by quickly, dealing with Buffy being awake but not quite herself yet, and the continued search for Sarah made everybody quite busy.

Katie was still hospitalized, but was feeling at lot better. Jess was deliriously happy, and there was not a dry eye in sight when they had heard that Katie's first conscious words were: I love you, Jessie.

Buffy's first words had been a bit more down-to-earth: Jeez, even my ass is stiff.

Because of their efforts to help the police track Sarah down, Willow and Faith spent a lot of time together. Actually they had found out that they got a lot in common, other than the trip to the dark side. They talked for hours about all and nothing, and understood each other's issues better that anyone else could.

One night Willow invited Faith to dinner, to celebrate that Jess and Katie was okay and that a murder was identified, even if she wasn't caught yet, and of course that Sam and Brooke was very happy, annoyingly happy, together, and that Buffy was well on her way to recovery.

Willow still found it a little bit weird to be sitting at her own table eating a peaceful dinner with Faith the former psycho-slayer, and that she felt so comfortable and at ease as she did.

Her guest was nothing like the teenager that at one time held her at knifepoint and threatened to ruin the lives of everyone she loved.

Yes, she was still tough and unpolished. And yes at times she still looked like a mix between a biker-chick, a hardcore slut and a woman that had been hurt so much more than any woman ever should experience. She still had that shit-eating grin that unsettled Willow slightly when it was directed at her, and there was no doubt about how dangerous she still was, but Willow didn't feel threatened by her anymore.

Warmth and compassion lurked at the bottom of those sparkling dark eyes and she had been wonderful, supportive and caring these past weeks.

"Are you okay, Red?"

Willow had even gotten used to the 'Red' now, even if she preferred when Faith called her 'Will', as she had done occasionally during the search for Jess.

She nodded. "I'm fine, Faith. Just catching up on the last days. So much has happened, so much has changed." Their eyes met and Willow felt a slight shiver deep in her gut.

Faith's eyes shone even darker than usually and suddenly she stood up and went to the CD player. She looked at the collection of CD's, picked one out and turned around and showed Willow the cover.

"Elvis?!"

Willow laughed. "Tara gave it to me the first winter we were together, I think as some sort of provocation for my usual taste that she found a bit to noisy. I hated it." Willow hesitated. "But when she... she left me.... I began listening to it and then to my surprise it was more than an old fat and outdated crooner singing sappy love songs. His songs have a soul I really could relate to at the time. The hard-edged songs of the 50's copied my anger, some of the crooner stuff from the 60's made me cry my loss out and the more mature blues and country-stuff from the 70's made me sit back and think...."

Willow knew she was babbling, a confusing nervousness made her mouth run off in a speed it hadn't done for years.

Faith listened patiently, while she put the CD in the machine. 'Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with...."

"You never gave me that dance, Will." Faith hand took hers. "Please dance with me."

In a hazy nervousness Willow got up and sort of floated into Faith's arms and they danced. Slowly and with their bodies pressed tightly against each other.

She had never seen Faith dance like this. Faith always looked like a seductive predator on the dance floor; her movements wild and unpredictable.

This version of a dancing Faith was very different and much more appealing to Willow. Faith moved her around the floor with care and determination.

This was a side a Faith she had seen a lot of glimpses of during the search for Jess. A Faith she liked. Liked a lot....

And this time, when Faith kissed her, it was the most natural thing in the world to kiss her back.

**********

She never suspected that Faith could be so tender, so loving. Her hands treated her body with care and gentleness, hands that brought her so high that she could almost scream. Actually at one point she DID scream. She hadn't thought that anyone but Tara could love her body like that.

Tara. Guilt smacked into her with a force that stole the air in her lungs. She couldn't do this. Her body betrayed her and was rapidly reaching another howling climax and she couldn't let it do that. She couldn't let it sully the memory of Tara like that. No...no....

The scent... it reminded her of... A loving warmth that penetrated every cell of her body, a sensation she always associated with....

"Tara...." she gasped on the verge of her orgasm.

'It's okay, Willow, you're ready to love again. Let it happen, my love....' And then Willow came. Her whole body shook and shivered and she heard herself scream like a banshee.

Faith's tender touch called her back, calmed her down. She was clinging to Faith like she was the only stable anchor in the world.

Faith kissed the thundering pulse, and patiently waited for it to slow down. Then she buried her face in the space between Willow's neck and collarbone.

Her neck became damp with... with tears? Was Faith crying? No, Faith never cried, did she?

"What's wrong. Faith? Why are you...?"

"It's nothing, Will. I just...." Faith sounded vulnerable, fragile.

She lifted Faith's face from its resting-place and began kissing the tears away. For a while Faith just let it happen, feeding Willow's lips with fresh tears. Then she started to reciprocate and their interaction became more heated and passionate.

Willow loved Faith's body with a newfound freedom. She knew Tara approved of this, that Tara wanted her to feel like this again.

And when Faith reached the ultimate high, Willow heard her full name tumble out of the former rogue slayer's trembling lips.

She kissed her way back up on Faith's body and saw that the slayer still cried, more despairingly than before.

"Tell me," she whispered.

Faith shook her head. "No, it doesn't matter, it just something I have to deal with on my own." Softly she kissed Willow's lips. "Thank you."

"Thank you for what?"

"For this," Faith gestured and indicated their entwined bodies. "I have never...." she stopped herself. "You are wonderful, Red, don't hold back on life. There's somebody..." Faith's voice broke. "...somebody out there for to love if you give yourself permission. It won't be Tara, I know that, but you're allowed to live again." Her eyes began to tear up again. "Promise me that you will try and find that someone, Willow, promise me.... I think Tara would have wanted you to love again."

This sounded suspiciously as a goodbye. Was Faith leaving her? Why was she crying? Why mention Tara?

Then it hit her like a speeding truck. Right before she came it had been Tara's name leaving her mouth, not Faith's, and Faith thought she knew what that meant, that Willow had been thinking of Tara the last wonderful moments before she reached orgasm.

She felt Tara's presence again and Willow knew that she was there to help her understand.

Faith tried to be magnanimous and bow out before she became an embarrassment to Willow, always expecting to be the one coming out short in love. Faith believed that Willow never could love her and that she didn't deserve that love anyway. Tara's name on Willow's lips had confirmed what she always had known; no one could love her for her. She was a comfort fuck, a short thrill and then it was time to move on.

"Oh God, Faith, I'm so, so sorry."

Faith stiffened. "I know, it's okay, I understand." She kissed Willow on the cheek. "Can I... can I stay her... for tonight. I promise I'll leave before you wake up tomorrow. I just need... No, it... I'll go, it's better that way." She kissed Willow a long, lingering moment full of longing. Of defeat.

Willow was in shock. When Faith tried to leave the bed she grabbed the slayer's arm. "Stay." She couldn't find the words that could make Faith understand. "Please."

Faith's eyes were round in surprise. She stared at Willow for a long time before she nodded. "Okay," she whispered and spooned her body behind Willow's. "I'll be gone before you wake up."

"No," Willow pleaded with an edge of desperation in her voice. "Please stay!"

Faith's breath almost stopped while she tried to comprehend what Willow was saying.

Willow wanted to say so much more, come up with all the right arguments that would make Faith stay and try this out, take it were it would lead them, maybe to some sort of forever.

These feelings surprised the crap out her of. If someone had told her that she would fall in love, furiously and just in a couple of intense days, with the former rogue slayer, she would have laughed or even spit in their faces.

And now she was lying in Faith's arms desperately hoping that the slayer wouldn't pull a runner, run away from the potential hurt and pain. She hoped that the insecurity and vulnerability she had heard in Faith's voice meant that her feelings were similar to Willow's, and that the slayer really wanted to stay. And not just for tonight.

She felt Faith's arms tighten around her and soft lips touched just below her hairline.

"Thank you," Faith's voice sounded thick and strained like she tried to keep the sobs out of it. "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

And with that confirmation both of them fell asleep in contentment, and slept safely without nightmares.

28 Epilog

The guesthouse was a quiet and cozy place with a content atmosphere. Sarah really adored her room and the view from the window, and she had decided to stay for a while.

One thing, though, marred her pleasure in staying at this place. The owner...the hostess or whatever she called herself. A real nuisance, that one. So arrogant and sure of herself that Sarah wanted to puke her in the face.

She was a 6 feet 2 bitch with killer muscles, untamed dark hair halfway down her back, high cheekbones and the bluest eyes Sarah had ever seen.

Rumors said that she was a former Green Beret, navy seal or whatever it was they called the toughest fuckers in the army, navy or whatever. The rumors also said that she had worked a couple of years in the CIA doing their dirty work oversees. Wet jobs.

She apparently retired when her mother died and left her the guesthouse, but as the rumor mill put it, was the truth that she had met the love of her life, a famous British novelist of sappy romances. The Barbara Cartland of the new Millennium as the British press called her.

It hadn't been an easy love story, the novelist being straight and engaged and all. But neither of them could help themselves and the novelist moved to her lover's home in California.

Now they both lived together with their kid in the large apartment on the top of the guesthouse where the novelist also had her office. Under the same pseudonym as she had used before, she continued with the sappy romances, but under her own name she wrote some of the most popular lesbian novels in the world. One of them was soon to be made into a movie.

Sarah found the relationship appalling. The author was so beautiful and kind. Green compassionate eyes, tousled short blond hair, a fit, yet curvy body and a smile that could melt the icy poles in a second and make a wagging mush out of every breathing lesbian.

And Sarah fell in love instantly.

The novelist was so much more that Jess could ever be; caring, understanding and loving. Sarah was sure that the novelist would be sympathetic to the tribulation Sarah had been through. The cute novelist would be able to understand the loss and sorrow, and she would do anything to ease the pain if she knew about what Sarah had been through. She would comfort Sarah like no one else could.

If she was allowed to..

If it wasn't for the tall bitch and the snotty kid....

It was absolutely clear that woman had some kind of hold on the novelist, maybe the bitch threatened her or something, the hideous woman was a potential killer wasn't she? A dangerous, treacherous murderer..

The novelist was lucky that Sarah found her in time. So very lucky....

The End

~~~~~

Author's Note:

As always, feedback in any form is very, very welcome! So PLEASE tell me what you thought of this story, or if you have some ideas to my next one I would welcome them, too.

Thanks and grateful hugs to everybody that took the time to send me feedback. Every one of you warmed my heart and kept me motivated.

Elizalover, thanks for being with me on every story and thanks for your encouragement, it means a lot.

And a big thanks to Balticbard for beta’ing the most part of the story, until I decided to try on my own for the last parts. I hope the experience went well.

And, of course, my Brazilian friend Jamlle, whose support means a great deal for my writing process, and who always, even when she really haven’t got the time, takes it anyway and send me encouragement and cheering.