Title: Stones In The Road

Author: Boo

Category: Drama

Rated: R. (f/f)

Spoilers: Up to 7.10 Bring On The Night although this story takes place soon after Selfless.

Summary: Willow and Buffy, both hurting, can help each other...if they dare.

Disclaimers: Joss Whedon is laughing even as I write this. Loudly.

Archiving: Just let me know.

Feedback: Isn’t that the loud noise a microphone makes? I wasn’t going to attempt this fic unless I could make it believable. So yell at me. Swanrvr80@aol.com.

Dedication: To Jamie, for her feedback, insights and inspiration.

Part Five

“...for when I look on you a moment, then I can speak no more, but my tongue falls silent, and at once a delicate flame courses beneath my skin, and with my eyes I see nothing, and my ears hum, and a cold sweat bathes me, and a trembling seizes me all over, and I am paler than grass, and I feel that I am near death.” - Sappho

*****

Groaning but not opening her eyes, Willow hit the snooze button on the alarm clock. And remembering last night, she smiled and rolled onto her side, blindly reaching towards the other side of her bed.

“Morning, Buf...”

Willow’s smile vanished. Not only was she alone, the other side of her bed had been made, covers tucked tightly under the mattress. As if it had all been a dream. Or worse, as if Buffy had tried to hide any evidence of where she might have been last night.

Willow rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, easily ignoring the temptation to be angry but only making the pang of sadness a little worse.

*****

She adjusted the towel covering her hair and stood with her arms crossed over her robe. Standing by the kitchen doorway, it took a moment for anyone to notice her.

“Morning, Willow. Thought I heard the shower running. Hope you’re hungry. My sister seems to be overcompensating girl this morning. Probably for supplying me with a steady diet of take-out food. She’s cooked more eggs than we could eat even if Xander were here. Which he isn’t, might I add,” said Dawn, glancing up from a book.

“Dawn, I wish you had finished your homework last night instead of talking on the phone,” reprimanded Buffy as she dug some more scrambled eggs from the frying pan she held in her hand onto a plate. “Morning Will.”

“Morning,” smiled Willow, even as Buffy turned away to put the pan into the sink.

“I only have this one chapter,” protested Dawn. “It’s no big.”

Dawn went back to her reading and Buffy began washing out the pan. Noticing that Dawn had her back to them, Willow stepped over and stood behind Buffy.

“Morning,” whispered Willow, placing a hand on Buffy’s shoulder.

“You should have some eggs before they get cold,” said Buffy, her attention focused on scrubbing the frying pan clean. When she was done she grabbed a dish towel and dried the pan off before placing it in the dish rack.

Willow slowly lowered her hand, looking from Buffy to Dawn and back. She stood there a moment and then made her way over to the refrigerator. Removing the orange juice, she closed the refrigerator door with her hip and reached for a glass in the dish rack. Without looking, Buffy reached for the same glass. Their hands touched and Buffy pulled away as if she had been shocked, immediately turning to see if Dawn had noticed. Willow stood there, staring at her.

“What’s up?” asked Willow, her head slightly tilted to one side.

“Sorry, didn’t see you. Take that glass, I’ll get another one.”

“No, I’ll...”

“Dawn, hurry up and eat. I don’t want you late for school,” said Buffy, a little louder than she meant to.

“I won’t be late. How can I be late? Xander’s picking us up.”

“Yeah, okay, so you won’t be late but if you don’t put that book down you won’t have time to eat. You can read in the car on the way,” said Buffy, pushing past Willow to get another glass out of the cupboard. Dawn snapped the book shut and bit into a piece of toast while rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

“Did you get in late?” asked Dawn with her mouth full. “I got up to get a drink last night and saw that your door was open and your bed was still made.”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, I did. And, um, I was so beat that I just crashed on the couch. Down here,” added Buffy quickly.

“I kinda know where the couch is, Buffy,” replied Dawn, giving her a strange look. Dawn turned her eyes to Willow and Willow realized that she was still just standing there. Snapping out of it, she poured herself a glass of orange juice, watching Buffy out of the corner of her eye and glancing at Dawn to make sure she didn’t notice. Standing at the counter, Buffy was playing with her food but not eating. Willow noticed that she was rapidly tapping one foot on the floor.

“Buffy, do you want the orange juice?”

“Huh? What?”

Willow held up the container of juice with one hand.

“Oh, sorry Willow. I’m a little distracted today. I have to meet with some students later and I have no idea what I’m going to say.”

“So what’s the problem?” asked Willow, handing her the juice.

“Not really sure. Slipping grades, not paying attention in class or doing their homework. Unless I can get them to talk to me I can only guess what’s bothering them. Thing is, they act like nothing’s wrong,” shrugged Buffy.

“Really. Not talking...acting like nothing’s wrong, yet you know something’s bothering them. Sounds kinda familiar somehow,” said Willow, glaring at her for a moment but then noticing that Dawn was looking at them. Willow looked away and was saved by the sound of Xander’s horn in the driveway.

“Time to go!” announced Buffy so loudly that it startled Willow.

“Go on, get your stuff, Dawn. I’ll clean up,” said Willow.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” asked Dawn.

“Nah. I’m suddenly not feeling hungry,” answered Willow, shaking her head.

“You feeling okay?” asked Dawn, genuinely concerned.

“I guess,” shrugged Willow. “Maybe I’m just tired.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you slept too good. Thought I heard moaning coming from your room last night. Maybe you can sneak in a nap after class later...or better yet, during class!”

Willow raised her eyebrows but looked at Buffy, not Dawn. Buffy’s eyes were wide open and looking right back at Willow.

“Thanks for cleaning up, Will. Have a nice day! Let’s go, Dawn,” ordered Buffy quickly. Very quickly.

“Alright! Jeez, what’s your problem? Xander’s like five minutes early,” whined Dawn. Willow sat down and watched them leave.

“Have a nice day?” grimaced Willow. She sighed, puffing out her cheeks.

*****

Willow stood in front of her closet with her arms folded across her chest. She heard Buffy enter the room but didn’t turn around.

“Thought you were leaving,” stated Willow flatly.

“I can be late. Just have to bat my eyelashes at the principal and, well...I can be late.”

Willow stood there, staring into the closet but not moving.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Trying to find something to wear,” snapped Willow, still without turning around. Buffy nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. Willow tried to follow her out of the corner of her eye but wouldn’t face her.

“New poster?” asked Buffy, glancing at the wall.

“Yep.”

“Hmm...anyone I know?” tried Buffy.

“Melissa Ferrick.”

“Oh. Never heard of her, but I’m thinking Lilith Fair alumni?”

“Yeah,” nodded Willow. “Think Melissa Etheridge without the grumpy.”

Buffy nodded and exhaled, puffing out her cheeks.

“Willow?”

Willow finally turned around and faced her, expressionless. She did, however, adjust the robe more snugly around herself.

“I’m sorry about this morning. In the kitchen. With Dawn,” said Buffy, one corner of her mouth turned up.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” replied Willow, trying not to pout while looking down at the rug. “Nothing to be sorry about.”

Buffy stood up, catching Willow’s eye.

“No, I was acting all...I don’t know. This is all so new to me,” winced Buffy, hoping Willow would understand.

“Hello! New to me too, ya know!”

Buffy raised her eyebrows and tilted her head slightly.

“Okay, not so new with the oh-my-you-don’t-have-a-penis-and-we-just...well, you know, but yes, a big new to falling for my best friend and, and...”

Willow paused to catch her breath.

“I’m sorry,” said Buffy again sadly, as if only now understanding how much she had hurt Willow.

Willow nodded but didn’t say anything.

“I was just trying to act like...”

“Nothing happened?” finished Willow.

“No! No, Will, I overcompensated. I, I...I’m sorry,” frowned Buffy.

“I know. Me too,” sighed Willow, holding open her arms. Buffy quickly stepped into the embrace. One lingering hug and then Willow stepped back, still holding on to Buffy.

“I get it. I feel all walking-on-eggshells with Dawn too. When I touched your hand I thought you’d jump out of your skin,” sighed Willow.

Buffy was going to say something but winced in embarrassment instead.

“And last night...”

“Last night?” encouraged Buffy, though not without dread.

“But last night, you said, you said we’d talk in the morning. And then no talk, no Buffy, empty bed,” frowned Willow, looking over Buffy’s shoulder at the bed.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I should’ve been there. But I heard Dawn in the bathroom and, well...”

“Yeah,” nodded Willow sadly.

“Hey, why don’t you wear that new green top I bought?” suggested Buffy, trying to change the subject.

“But you haven’t even worn that yet!” protested Willow, pushing away.

“Sure I have.”

Willow scrunched up her lips doubtfully.

“Okay, I tried it on. But that counts! Besides, it’ll really bring out the color in your eyes,” added Buffy softly.

“Well...”

Buffy smiled and leaned in, her lips close to Willow’s mouth, waiting to be invited in.

“What time do you have to be in class?” whispered Buffy.

“An hour...or so,” smiled Willow. “Why? Have something in mind?”

“Or so? Well, you could help me...make this...feel that this...isn’t...so new,” whispered Buffy, her lips dancing around Willows lips.

“Hmmm...yeah, there is so much you don’t know yet,” nodded Willow.

Buffy smiled.

“I mean, you don’t even know the secret handshake yet. Oh! And dues! We have to get you a membership card!” added Willow, slapping her forehead.

“Secret...dues? You guys have a union?” stammered Buffy.

“See, there’s that word, Buffy. There’s no guys in our club.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose at that prospect. And Willow covered her mouth with a hand, trying to stifle a laugh. Giving in to it, Willow shook her head and burst out laughing.

“Shoulda seen your face. It was priceless!” grinned Willow.

Buffy’s face turned red but then her eyes took on a mischievous look.

“Hey, another rule here. No tickling,” warned Willow wagging a finger at Buffy and quickly becoming worried.

Buffy took a step and with a high pitched squeal Willow ran from the room with a grinning Buffy in pursuit.

*****

“So, you understood the assignment...right?” asked Dawn hopefully.

“Me? Um, no, not exactly,” said Janice. “I was kinda hoping you did.”

“Oh, this is not good. Why do teachers torture us like this?” groaned Dawn.

“Who else in class is there that we can ask? Oh, how about Mark?” suggested Janice.

“Mark? He wears velcro laced sneakers because he hasn’t mastered the mysteries of tying a shoelace! I don’t think he knows what’s going on.”

“I kinda like his sneakers,” smiled Janice.

Dawn rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come on! He’s cute and you know it!” laughed Janice.

“So not my type,” replied Dawn, shaking her head.

“Let’s stop at my locker first. I need to get a book.”

“Can’t you wait until after lunch? I’m starving,” whined Dawn.

“Hey Dawn. How ya doin’?”

“Wh...oh, hi!” waved Dawn, unsuccessfully hiding her confusion.

The girl who had said hello didn’t stop and didn’t turn around as she walked away from them.

“Wasn’t that Marlene? Isn’t she like a senior or something?” whispered Dawn.

“Yeah. I think it was,” nodded Janice.

“I didn’t even know she knew my name. And now she’s saying hi to me? What’s up with that?” asked Dawn, staring down the hall as Marlene disappeared into the crowd.

“Maybe she knows you because your sister’s a counselor now,” said Janice.

“Maybe,” shrugged Dawn. As they passed other kids on their way to the cafeteria, both Dawn and Janice noticed other girls would stop talking as they walked by yet they would watch them as they passed. As soon as they were far enough away these groups of two or three, congregating around someone’s locker, would start talking again.

“Okay, what the hell is going on? Do I have a zit on my face or something?” whispered Dawn while not looking directly at Janice.

“No, don’t you get it? Word got around that you’ve been invited to Carlos’ party. I bet you Marlene is going. Congrads, Dawn! You’ve been booted out of geekdom,” smiled Janice.

Dawn was about to laugh or argue but when she thought about it, Janice’s assumption made sense.

“You’re one of the cool kids now,” teased Janice.

“But I like being a geek!” whispered Dawn.

“Right,” laughed Janice.

“Well, maybe like is too strong a word,” nodded Dawn, giggling.

Dawn noticed another two girls looking at her. At her, not at her and Janice. And Dawn began to smile. In front of the cafeteria they almost bumped into Carlos.

“Hey, Dawn. Janice,” nodded Carlos.

“Hey Carlos,” smiled Dawn.

“Hey,” added Janice. “Dawn, I’ll go get us a table.”

“Okay. Carlos, I wanted to thank you for inviting me to the party. So...how many people are going?” asked Dawn.

“Don’t really know. Maybe twenty. Depends on who crashes,” shrugged Carlos.

“Oh,” replied Dawn.

“Gotta run. And Dawn, you’re gonna have a great time, I promise! I’m glad you and Kit are spending the night. Maybe we’ll get videos or something.”

“Staying the...what? Um, no, I’m staying over at Kit’s house,” shouted Dawn as Carlos walked away, waving at her with one hand. Dawn immediately turned and searched the cafeteria to find Kit. Janice caught her eye and waved at her. Dawn held up one finger, signaling that she’d be there in a minute. She looked around again and finally found Kit, laughing at a table with three other girls.

Dawn made her way over to Kit’s table, not noticing the disappointed look on Janice’s face.

“Kit. Hey. I need to ask you something. About Saturday?”

“Dawn! Sit down,” offered Kit.

“Well, just for a minute. Janice is waiting for me,” frowned Dawn, taking a seat.

“Oh, Dawn. This is Kristin and Tori.”

“Hey,” nodded Dawn. The girls each repeated Dawn’s greeting.

“So what’s up?” asked Kit.

“I just talked to Carlos. He said we were sleeping over his house. I thought I was staying at your house.”

“Damn, I forgot to tell you, huh? My bad. See, if we stay at my house my mom would want me home by midnight. I mean, come on! What am I, twelve?” sighed Kit.

“Oh,” winced Dawn.

“So I told her we were sleeping at your house,” smiled Kit.

“You what!?” said Dawn, a little louder than she had intended.

“Sorry,” shrugged Kit. “Is it a problem? You do want to go to the party, right?”

“Yeah, but...”

“Dawn, don’t worry about it. My mom doesn’t care. She’ll be glad to have to the house alone with her boyfriend. Trust me, she’ll never find out,” smiled Kit. “So, again with the sorry. I forgot. But you still want to go, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. Um, I’d better go sit with Janice,” said Dawn, forcing a smile.

“Okay. Catcha later.”

Dawn made her way over to Janice’s table and slumped down into a chair, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

“Dawn, you don’t have to sit with me if you don’t want to,” said Janice. “You probably want to talk about the party. It’s cool.”

“What? Oh, no. No way. It’s...no. I’d rather be here,” smiled Dawn.

“Thanks,” smiled Janice.

*****

Willow pulled the covers tightly up to her neck, suddenly aware that she was cold. Which could only mean...

Her hand reached out to the empty bed beside her but almost immediately she realized that Buffy was standing by the window, staring out into the night. Willow glanced at the clock; sunrise was only about an hour away. Quietly slipping out of bed, she settled her robe over her shoulders and picked up Buffy’s robe off the end of the bed. The moonlight silhouetted Buffy’s form, highlighting her face and Willow smiled even as a knot of worry tightened in her stomach.

“Hey. You okay?” asked Willow, standing behind Buffy, the robe draped over one arm.

“Yeah,” nodded Buffy, not turning around.

“Whatcha doin’?” inquired Willow, placing the robe around Buffy without being asked.

“Thinking. Pondering. Contemplating. Wondering. ‘Bout...stuff,” shrugged Buffy, snuggling into her robe. “Thanks.”

Willow nodded, unseen.

“Am I among that pondering and wondering?” asked Willow playfully. Buffy smiled and finally turned around. “Is the word us being contemplated?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Thought so,” smiled Willow. “Wanna talk about it?”

Buffy half-rolled her eyes and Willow crossed her arms in response.

“Is that a yes or no question?” winced Buffy.

“Buffy...it’s me. Oh, wait a minute. You really don’t wanna talk about it. Did I...I did something wrong, right?”

“No, Willow...”

“I made you uncomfortable, didn’t I? I, I...”

“Willow!”

“It was the scarf, wasn’t it?”

“What?” asked Buffy, suddenly blushing. “No, I really liked what you did with...”

“We’re going too fast. No, I’m going too fast. Me. Buffy, I’m sorry. You shoulda told me,” whined Willow.

“Willow! Take a breath. It’s not you,” said Buffy, touching her arm. Willow tilted her head, unblinking, doubt on her face.

“It’s my feet,” whispered Willow.

“Don’t be...huh? What the hell are you talking about?” asked Buffy somewhat fearfully.

“My feet. They’re cold. In bed. And you couldn’t tell me.”

“Willow!”

“I could wear socks,” pouted Willow.

Buffy shook her head and smiled. She didn’t have to say anything.

“It’s not my feet, is it?” asked Willow awkwardly, suddenly realizing how silly that sounded.

“It’s not your feet,” laughed Buffy, though she quickly frowned in confusion. “Wait a minute. Feet? I thought that expression was colder than a witch’s...”

Willow put her hands on her hips and glared at Buffy.

“Never mind. It’s not any one thing. It’s lots of things. It’s...yes, this is new for me...but I don’t think we’re going too fast,” added Buffy, taking both of Willow’s hands into her own. That alone made Willow smile. And Willow didn’t say anything, encouraging Buffy to go on. She did but she let go of Willow’s hands.

“Part of the wondering is about me. I have these feelings. These...confusing feelings. I mean, it’s not like I’m out there checking out other girls,” said Buffy.

“Not yet,” teased Willow.

Buffy’s eyes froze as she considered that. Willow stopped smiling.

“Oh, hey, not that I want you doing that. A big no to the checking out the competition,” emphasized Willow, shaking her head.

“Willow, I’m attracted to you,” said Buffy softly. “Not...”

“Been there,” answered Willow. Buffy thought about that for a moment and then nodded.

“Buffy, it’s not about body parts. It’s about loving another person. That’s what makes it special,” comforted Willow. Buffy immediately smiled.

“Makes sense. A lot, in fact. I like that. Oh, not that I’m not likin’ the body parts,” added Buffy quickly. Willow laughed.

“Buffy, you’re lucky. You can talk to me. Repeating the been there part for emphasis,” smiled Willow.

“I am lucky. Yeah...and I feel bad about that,” sighed Buffy.

“Sure, ‘cause...huh?”

“You went through this, alone, with no one to talk to. Really getting that perspective now, what you must’ve been dealing with. I was a bad friend. I wasn’t there for you.”

“Hello! Who’s fault was that? You didn’t know! I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t because...because...”

“Because you were scared?” ventured Buffy. Willow nodded.

“And you’re scared. Buffy, I so get what you’re feeling. Only now, you have someone to talk to. Me,” smiled Willow.

“Guess I do,” grinned Buffy even though she was blushing again. “I’m having a blonde moment.”

“No. Not at all.”

Buffy opened her mouth, hesitated, then just blurted out what she needed to say.

“Did you? Go too fast, I mean. At first. Just the watercolor version, not the kodak moment,” added Buffy.

Willow took Buffy’s hand and pulled her back to the bed. They both sat down.

“Well, I did have a good teacher. Didn’t realize it at the time, but she was even more shy than I was, even though she was comfortable with her sexuality. So, too fast? Let’s just say you’re way ahead of the learning curve,” grinned Willow.

“You’re not half-bad either. As far as teachers go,” smiled Buffy even as Willow’s face became serious.

“You know, it’s okay to say her name, Buffy. Tara. You...no one says her name anymore. No one. Yeah, it’s still with me, the pain, the...it’s like you guys think I’ll break down if I hear her name. It’s like you want to forget she was ever...”

Willow had to turn her head away so that Buffy wouldn’t see her face.

“Hey, no, it’s not like that. Will, no one’s ever going to forget her,” said Buffy, placing an arm around Willow’s waist. “I’m sorry you felt that way.”

“I know,” whispered Willow. She looked at Buffy and forced herself to smile. “I don’t want you to feel all uncomfortable about her. I want you to know I’m not comparing or anything.”

Buffy didn’t say anything.

“Just needed to say that. Just being honest,” sighed Willow.

“Honest,” repeated Buffy softly. She inhaled slowly and nodded. “You’re right. It’s okay to say Tara’s name. I mean...you did...last night.”

Buffy felt Willow’s body tense under her touch. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t raise her eyes to look at Willow.

“I...what? I said...no, I didn’t. I wouldn’t,” protested Willow weakly. She stood up, looking down at Buffy. Buffy looked up and winced in sympathy but didn’t say anything.

“I, I said it in my sleep, right?” begged Willow hopefully. “It was a dream.”

“I think you can guess when you called out her name,” whispered Buffy, biting her lower lip.

“No,” mouthed Willow, no breath escaping her lips. She covered her mouth with one hand and turned around with her head hanging low. Buffy instantly stood up and even though Willow kept her back to her, Buffy wrapped her arms around her, held her, resting her chin on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” whimpered Willow weakly, her voice cracking.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything! It was stupid. I’m stupid!”

Buffy turned Willow around and hugged her. Willow pressed her face against her, trying not to cry.

“Willow. Willow, look at me.”

Willow shook her head.

“Hey, come on now.”

“Buffy, I swear to you I wasn’t thinking of her. I wasn’t,” cried Willow.

“Shh. It’s okay.”

Buffy gave her a moment then eased her back down onto the bed, sitting as close to her as she could. Willow looked up and Buffy smiled for her, gently wiping away Willow’s tears with a finger.

“I’m so embarrassed,” said Willow tensely, shaking her head.

“Stop it. It’s okay. I’m sure down the road we’ll have a good laugh about it.”

“Thanks. You’re a good liar,” sniffed Willow.

“Yeah, I am, aren’t I?” boasted Buffy proudly. Even Willow had to laugh at that.

“We’re fine. A big yes to fine. And you’re not going too fast so get that notion out of there,” said Buffy, tapping Willow’s head. “If I had a wiggins it was more about me taking advantage of you.”

“You?” said Willow, sitting up a little straighter. “You taking advantage of me!?”

“Perhaps I should explain that,” frowned Buffy.

“Perhaps?” repeated Willow, incredulous.

“I meant I was worried that this...us,” explained Buffy, touching a hand to her chest and then Willow’s, “was too soon for you. I know you’re still hurting. Will, I’ve heard you crying in your room at night.”

Willow looked down, ashamed that Buffy knew.

“I wanted to comfort you. Okay, maybe I’m not so good with the talking. But I never knew this would happen. I didn’t, I didn’t want to hurt you,” sighed Buffy, taking Willow’s hand.

“Hurt me? Buffy, you couldn’t.”

“Nooo, because I’ve never done that to a lover before,” reminded Buffy.

“That’s different! This is me...us,” said Willow, cradling Buffy’s cheek with her hand.

“And, um, I was scared that maybe...maybe you’d hurt me,” whispered Buffy.

“If this didn’t work out,” nodded Willow knowingly.

“Yeah,” agreed Buffy. “You’re my best friend. More than anything I didn’t want to lose that.”

“I get that. It’s what made me so nervous. It’s why I didn’t dare act on what I felt. But if it works, what could be better than being with your best friend?”

Buffy smiled, bravely ignoring the if part of that question.

“Yeah,” nodded Buffy. Willow leaned her head on Buffy’s shoulder and neither one of them spoke for a while.

“I am sorry,” whispered Willow. “But I’m glad you told me.”

Buffy nodded.

“Well, I wish it had come up differently, but we needed to talk about her. She was my friend and sometimes...sometimes I can’t help but feel that I’m...”

Buffy didn’t finish what she was saying. Willow raised her head and gently lifted Buffy’s chin so that she would look at her.

“Feel what? Like you’re cheating on her? Betraying her?” suggested Willow softly. Buffy winced and nodded.

“Her ghost is in the room with us, Will. But maybe now that we...no, not we. I mean now that I have said that, out loud...”

“We,” corrected Willow. “We said it. Buffy, more than anything else, Tara would want me to be happy. And I am...because of you.”

Buffy smiled and Willow quickly leaned in for a kiss, pulling away much sooner than Buffy wanted.

“Come on, let’s go back to bed. Maybe we can get in an hour’s sleep before we have to get up,” suggested Willow.

“Sleep?” asked Buffy suspiciously.

“Yes, sleep. We’re talking some serious snuggle time,” said Willow seriously, trying not to smile. They each slipped out of their robes. Buffy sat up enough to slide in under the covers, pulling Willow in after her.

“Still, if you wanna cop a feel, that would be within the parameters of a snuggle,” winked Willow.

“Big tease,” grinned Buffy. And there, in her arms, her grin was replaced with concern.

“What?” asked Willow.

“You okay? I’m here too, you know. For talk, for cuddling, for...”

“I’m fine,” smiled Willow.

“I had another for coming,” pouted Buffy. Willow silenced her with a lingering kiss.

“You were saying?”

“Um...I forget now,” giggled Buffy.

“To answer your question, I’m fine. In fact I’m way past fine. I’m...how can I describe it? Being with you is like having my cake and eating it too,” said Willow firmly.

Buffy tried to stifle a laugh but ended up snorting instead.

“Yeah, I might wanna rephrase that, huh?” laughed Willow.

“It might be a good suggestion in mixed company,” agreed Buffy. Buffy stroked Willow’s hair away from her forehead, staring deeply into those green eyes.

“Willow?” she whispered.

“Yes?”

“Hold me.”

*****

Buffy eased the door shut behind, turning the handle so that it wouldn’t click into place. Pleased with her efforts to be quiet, she smiled and turned to sneak back into her room. And almost bumped into Dawn.

“Oh, hey! Morning, Dawn,” smiled Buffy, just a bit too cheerfully.

“Um, yeah. Good morning. Buffy...did you sleep in Willow’s room last night?” asked Dawn, somewhat confused..

“What? Oh, uh, well, yeah, I did. See, um, Willow woke up. I mean I heard her. Wake up. During the night. She was having a nightmare,” nodded Buffy.

Dawn stared at her with a blank expression on her face.

“And I calmed her down, told her I’d stay until she fell asleep. She was pretty upset. Guess I fell asleep too,” shrugged Buffy.

“Oh. So she’s still having nightmares, huh?”

“Yep. In fact, I told her that maybe it would be a good idea if I slept with her. Just for a few nights. You know, to, um...”

“Buffy, you don’t have to explain. That’s nice, what you’re doing. You’re a good friend,” smiled Dawn.

“Friend,” repeated Buffy. “Yeah. That’s what friends do. They sleep together.”

“You know what I mean,” laughed Dawn. “Although with your friends, ya never know who’s kissing who!”

“Dawn!”

“Think about it. Xander liked you, Willow liked Xander, Anya loved Xander, Xander kissed Willow, you slept with Spike, Anya slept with Spike...”

“Thanks for the history lesson,” smirked Buffy.

“Hey, I’m just glad Giles isn’t in that mix,” teased Dawn.

“Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t,” countered Buffy, grinning. Dawn blinked but didn’t fall for it.

“Here’s a warning, if there’s a thunderstorm, don’t be surprised if I sneak in under the covers too!”

Buffy’s eyes opened wide but Dawn didn’t notice.

“I’m already dressed. Want me to make breakfast?” asked Dawn.

“Unless breakfast involves pouring dry cereal into a bowl, the answer is no,” warned Buffy.

“Fine. Be that way,” whined Dawn, stomping away.

Buffy wasn’t sure but she thought she heard Willow giggling.

Part Six

“I know you’re confused
I know that you’re shaking
You think that we’ve lost
Once we begin
I know you’re weak
I know that you want me
Lover don’t speak
Let me in - Melissa Etheridge”

*****

“Dawn, it’s almost twenty after. Why don’t you give Kit a call?” asked Buffy.

“No, she said she’d be here. She’s not that late. Don’t want to be the first ones there, you know?” said Dawn, staring out the front window.

“Maybe Xander could give you a ride over there,” suggested Buffy.

“No. Thank you. She’ll be here,” said Dawn, very firmly and without turning around. Hanging her head for a moment, she finally turned to face Buffy. When she spoke her voice was in a much softer tone.

“You don’t have to wait, Buffy. You and Willow should go patrol.”

“Okay,” nodded Buffy. “I’ll go see if Willow’s ready yet.”

“Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks again. For letting me go,” smiled Dawn.

Buffy almost said something but changed her mind.

“Have a good time,” smiled Buffy. Dawn glanced back out the window and immediately reached for her backpack on the floor by the front door.

“Carlos and Kit are here! Bye!”

“Dawn, do you have everything?” reminded Buffy.

“The brownies! Thanks,” winced Dawn. She ran into the kitchen and came back out with a foil covered plate in one hand.

“Okay, bye again,” waved Dawn.

“Bye. And be careful!” added Buffy, getting a rolling of the eyes from Dawn just before she shut the front door.

Dawn met Carlos on the front walk before he could make it all the way to her front door and was surprised to see Kit waiting out by the street. She was looking up at a streetlight, seemingly fascinated with it.

“Hey. Sorry we’re late,” shrugged Carlos.” Would’ve been here sooner but I had to get a few things set up back at the house.”

“No big,” smiled Dawn. “It’s only what, a few minutes after eight?”

“Here, let me carry that for you,” offered Kit, reaching for the plate.

“Oh, thanks. I made some brownies. They probably suck, but hey,” shrugged Dawn as she handed the plate to Carlos and adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. “Um, what’s up with Kit?”

Kit stood in the street, looking up at the light with a big smile on her face.

“Kit? She’s fine. She just started to party a little earlier than everyone else, that’s all.”

They stood next to her now but Kit seemed unaware that they were there.

“Wow, that’s like so cool! Why’s the light so yellow?” laughed Kit. Dawn looked up and then gave Kit a very puzzled look.

“Yellow?” said Dawn. Kit tried to focus on Dawn’s face and smiled even more.

“I know you!” grinned Kit.

Dawn’s puzzled look quickly changed into a very worried expression.

“Hey, Kit. Why don’t we get back to the party?” asked Carlos, trying not to look at Dawn. He held out his arm and Kit laughed as she hooked her arm into his, letting herself be led along.

“Carlos, you should’ve seen the sky...before it got dark, I mean. Can’t see it now,” laughed Kit. “The clouds were purple and, and oh! The trees! The trees were red! It was so weird.”

Carlos laughed and glanced at Dawn, his face going silent as she stared at him. He started to lead Kit away and Dawn, hesitating at first, followed closely behind, casting one last look over her shoulder as they walked away from her house.

*****

Buffy almost entered Willow’s room but, unseen, stepped back and looked in from around the door. Willow was standing in front of the mirror, getting ready to go with her on patrol. She was brushing her hair and rummaging through a drawer, looking for a certain shade of lipstick. Knowing Willow was doing this for her only made Buffy smile even more. After all, it wasn’t as if Willow got all dressed up for patrolling in the past.

She put the brush down and finally settled on a dark shade of red, quickly applying it and rolling her lips together. Satisfied with her reflection, Willow dropped the lipstick into the drawer. Thinking she would turn around, Buffy pulled back a little but still peered in. Yet Willow didn’t move. Curious, Buffy leaned forward a little for a better look.

Willow was just standing there, staring at something on the dresser. But it wasn’t until her hand slowly reached out to pick it up that Buffy knew what held her gaze. She was holding a framed photograph of her and Tara, one that Dawn had taken with her new camera. Only the slightest droop of her shoulders betrayed any emotion from Willow. Buffy wanted to look away but her body refused to move.

Willow brought the photo closer to her face and with two fingers gently traced a line on the cold smooth surface, as if wanting to touch Tara’s hair. She lowered her hand, hesitating, taking in one last longing gaze and, as Buffy’s mouth dropped open, Willow gently placed the photograph face down in the still open drawer among her lipsticks and perfumes, tissues and makeup. Silently closing the drawer, Willow leaned against the dresser palms down, gathering herself for a moment. When she turned around Buffy walked into the room.

“Hey. Ready to go?” asked Buffy, with neither her face nor her voice betraying the turmoil she felt.

Willow just stood there and smiled so warmly that Buffy almost blushed.

“Yeah. I think I am,” nodded Willow. She walked over to Buffy and held out her hand. Buffy took it and turned to face the door.

“Willow?”

“Yeah?”

Buffy took the time to inhale and then simply smiled.

“You look nice,” nodded Buffy.

“Thanks,” answered Willow, giving Buffy’s hand a grateful squeeze. “Now let’s go kill something.”

Laughing, Buffy glanced once over her shoulder to look back at the dresser and then, hand in hand, led Willow out into the night.

*****

“Carlos, what’s going on here?” demanded Dawn.

“I told you...”

“Come on! Kit’s more than just drunk. I’m not going in there until you tell me.”

They both stopped and glanced back at Kit. She was just staring at the ground with her arms wrapped tightly around herself as if she were cold. Very cold.

“Okay, she’s a little stoned. It’s no big. And hey, you don’t have to...”

“Stoned? Carlos, people don’t act like this when they smoke pot!” snapped Dawn, though suddenly she wasn’t so sure. “Do they?”

“Sometimes. My older brother had some fry sticks. Kit bought one off him,” explained Carlos.

Dawn stared at him, shaking her head.

“Hey, he only charged her like ten bucks!” defended Carlos.

“Fry sticks?” questioned Dawn, crossing her arms.

“How much of a sheltered life do you lead?”

“Trust me, you have no idea,” answered Dawn, shaking her head.

“Come on, you know. Fry. A joint soaked in embalming fluid. Burns slower, makes the high last longer, makes it more intense,” shrugged Carlos.

“Embalming fluid! You’ve got to be kidding me! They put that stuff in dead people and you smoke it!?” yelled Dawn.

“Why do you think they call it fry? It fries your brain! Hey, what’s with the all righteous act all of a sudden? No one made her do it, it was her choice!” yelled Carlos.

“Wait a minute...embalming fluid? Where did your brother get that from?”

“I don’t know! What difference does it make? He knows some kids...”

“Who break into funeral homes and steal the stuff?” interrupted Dawn.

“Yeah. How did you know?” asked Carlos, his anger fading.

“It’s been in the papers. Carlos, is she going to be alright? Is she?”

Carlos looked back at Kit and slowly turned to face Dawn, doubt creeping into his eyes.

“Sometimes...sometimes they treat the fry. Add stuff,” shrugged Carlos, his voice small.

“What stuff?” asked Dawn, trying to control her anger. Carlos only shrugged.

“What stuff!?” shouted Dawn.

“Don’t know. Could be PCP. Look, she’ll come down in an hour or so. Let’s just...”

Carlos froze, watching as a car pulled into his driveway.

“Oh, shit!” shouted Carlos.

“What?”

“It’s my parents! What the hell are they doing here? Dawn, you gotta get Kit away from here. Now!”

“What? Where?” demanded Dawn.

“I don’t know! My parents are gonna freak when they find all these people in the house...not to mention the beer!”

“But...”

“Dawn, my mom knows Mrs. Holburn! Kit’s in trouble enough at school. If she finds out...we’re not talking about just grounding here, Dawn. Kit could get suspended!”

“What? Her mom wouldn’t...”

“Dawn, look, there’s no time to argue. Just get her outta here, okay?” begged Carlos, glancing back towards his house.

“Yeah. Sure,” nodded Dawn.

“Thanks. You’re a real friend. I owe you!” said Carlos, leaving her alone with Kit.

Taking in a deep breath, Dawn slowly shook her head.

“An hour or so. Right. Where can I take her?” sighed Dawn.

*****

“Willow! You’re not exactly helping matters here!”

“What am I doing?” purred Willow innocently.

“You know exactly what you’re doing. We should be patrolling. Well, I mean, that is why we’re in a cemetery in the middle of the night,” sighed Buffy.

“And you find my hand rubbing up and down your arm...distracting, somehow?” smiled Willow.

“Well, it’s just not proper...procedure. I mean, Giles was right. There are certain rules and protocols one follows when...Willow, what are you...oh, that’s...oh yeah, maybe, maybe just a little lower,” gasped Buffy.

“Buffy! You’re so tense!” said Willow, sliding her hands down from Buffy’s neck, massaging her back between the shoulder blades now, pressing her thumbs gently but firmly into her flesh.

“Wow, that’s...Willow, something tells me you’ve done this before,” groaned Buffy, closing her eyes. “I had no idea that...oh my...”

“You didn’t know my hands could do this?” smiled Willow. “Are you ever in for a surprise or three!”

“Willow,” whispered Buffy, “maybe we should...”

“Shh. Relax. It’s just me, you, my hands, one very naughty imagination and...and one really ugly vampire!” shouted Willow.

Buffy’s eyes opened just in time to see a fist coming right at her face. She turned but too late and the stinging blow knocked her to the ground.

“Buffy!”

The vampire ignored Willow and knelt over Buffy, leering at what it assumed to be an easy kill. Willow lunged at him but the creature thrust an elbow at her, knocking the air from her lungs. She was hurled backwards, the small of her back catching the corner of a tombstone before she collapsed on the cold ground. Gasping, unable to breathe, Willow couldn’t speak...and so was helpless to help Buffy with a spell. Buffy tried to rise but the vampire’s legs had pinned her arms beneath him. Growling, the vampire grabbed Buffy’s hair with both hands and yanked hard, exposing her neck.

Still trying to force air into her lungs, Willow raised herself up on one elbow and saw Buffy’s face, her eyes wide open in fear. Willow’s eyes suddenly went completely black.

“Willow, no!”

The vampire’s hands went to his own throat and, snarling in anger, he turned to glare at the girl behind him. Willow was up on one knee now, one fist clenched tightly shut out in front of her. Suddenly whimpering in pain, the vampire stood and took a step towards Willow. Buffy winced as the night echoed with the wet sound of cracking bone. The vampire stumbled forward blindly, desperately groping for Willow.

“Ignes incente!” hissed Willow in utter contempt.

A blue flame burst outward from the vampire’s chest, quickly consuming its upper torso. With a muffled shriek the vampire exploded. The silence that followed was empty and deep. Speechless, Buffy looked at Willow. Wincing in pain, Willow looked away.

“Willow!”

Buffy scrambled to her side as Willow fell to her hands and knees but Willow kept her head turned from her.

“Willow, are you hurt? Are you okay?” demanded Buffy desperately, one arm around her shoulder.

“Just...just give me a second,” gasped Willow, one hand now holding her side.

“Willow, lay down. Let me...”

“No!” shouted Willow, freezing Buffy.

“Willow?” whispered Buffy.

“Buffy, please. I, I don’t want you to see me like this,” pleaded Willow. Willow slowly sat down, careful to avoid looking at Buffy. Buffy reached out and put a hand on Willow’s cheek, gently prodding her to turn her head. Willow knew that Buffy was stronger but she also knew that Buffy wouldn’t force her to look at her unless she wanted to. Buffy smoothed Willow’s hair to one side of her face and Willow finally looked up.

Willow’s eyes were completely black. A single tear ran down her cheek as her lower lip trembled.

“I’m sorry. It, it just happened. I didn’t mean to...Buffy, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to...”

“Shhh. Willow, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re not hurt. As long as you’re safe,” comforted Buffy.

“But...”

“It’s okay. I don’t care that you used magic! Just, just talk to me! Are you okay?” begged Buffy. Willow nodded but looked down at her hand, still pressed against her side.

“Buffy, it’s more than the magic. I distracted you! If I hadn’t...”

Buffy silenced her by placing her lips on Willow’s, lingering just long enough to make Willow understand it was time to change the subject. Kissing her cheek and then her forehead, Buffy cupped Willow’s cheek with one hand and smiled for her.

“Where does it hurt?” asked Buffy

“I mighta broke a rib or two,” winced Willow. “It hurts to breathe. Well, it did...until you took my breath away.”

Buffy smiled, her nervous tension disappearing as she realized Willow wasn’t hurt as badly as she had feared.

“Lay down. Let me see,” ordered Buffy. She helped Willow ease down onto her back and reached for the top snap on her windbreaker, popping it open. Willow swallowed hard as Buffy moved down to the next snap. Opening this one, Willow inhaled sharply. Their eyes met and Buffy smiled as Willow nodded once at her. Sliding her hand along the jacket, Buffy worked the next snap free. Willow responded with a barely audible moan.

Holding the last snap in her fingers, Buffy popped it open and Willow gasped. Pushing aside the jacket and slipping her hand under Willow’s shirt, Buffy gently eased her fingers across Willow’s stomach, feeling Willow’s body tense in anticipation. Finally touching her ribs, Buffy’s fingers gently probed and explored as she watched Willow’s reaction.

“Does this hurt?” asked Buffy. Willow, her eyes still dark, stared back at Buffy, not even breathing.

“Only when you take your hand away,” whispered Willow, slowly smiling. Buffy blinked in surprise but managed to smile.

“You little...”

Buffy left her threat unfinished and Willow laughed, immediately wincing with the pain but only laughing even more. Straddling her now, one knee beside Willow’s hip and the other between her legs, Buffy leaned forward, her hair falling down, brushing Willow’s face. Willow reached up with both arms to pull Buffy to her but Buffy resisted, intently watching Willow’s eyes.

“Sorry. I, I almost forgot. But they’ll change back. Soon,” nodded Willow. “I shouldn’t have...”

Again Buffy silenced her with a kiss, this one harder, more possessive in its intensity.

“Willow,” whispered Buffy as she pulled away. Willow didn’t answer but didn’t look away either.

“Willow, you might find this amusing, but, um...see, I’m usually the one who, uh...leads the dance. The sure, confident one who knows what to do,” sighed Buffy softly.

“The one in charge,” answered Willow. Buffy, somewhat embarrassed, nodded.

“Yeah. I guess. But it’s also about letting go, not holding back. And this is new. So new.”

Buffy paused and then kissed Willow, her lips barely brushing against hers, yet more of a promise then a tease.

“Hard to be confident, to be...in charge, when I’m not sure what you like.”

“Hmm. Sounds like a fun problem to solve,” winked Willow.

“Tell you what,” whispered Buffy in a husky voice, her breath warm against Willow’s cheek. “I’ll do anything you ask. Anything.”

Again Buffy brushed her lips across Willow’s and this time Willow arched her neck, urgently seeking out Buffy’s mouth.

“But you have to tell me exactly what you want. Understand?” smiled Buffy. “Exactly. What. You. Want.”

Willow nodded and smiled in return.

“Kiss me. Hard,” said Willow.

Willow’s mouth met Buffy’s but Buffy’s kiss was soft, tender, barely urgent. Willow opened her eyes, perplexed.

“I know,” nodded Buffy. “I know what you want...but hey, I still like to be in charge.”

Grinning, Buffy kissed Willow before she could react, this time the embrace hard and passionate. Willow pressed herself against Buffy’s knee, again trying to pull her closer. The moon above drifted past a cloud, its soft light flooding the graveyard, silhouetting the two lovers as they became lost in the dance.

*****

“Come on, Dawnie! Have a beer with me!” laughed Kit.

“Maybe later,” nodded Dawn. “Where did you get that anyway?”

“Got a six-pack under my coat,” smiled Kit. She leaned her face close to Dawn’s and whispered. “I hid it.”

Finding that very amusing, Kit broke out into laughter and took another gulp from the beer can she held, almost choking with the effort.

“You know, I don’t really think you need that,” frowned Dawn, reaching for the can.

“Hey, back off! I ain’t hurtin’ no one,” glared Kit.

“Fine,” replied Dawn coldly.

“Dawn, where are we going?”

“Just going to crash for a little while. I know this place where no one will bother us. I hope,” added Dawn, under her breath.

Dawn stopped walking, realizing that Kit was no longer at her side. She turned and saw her standing completely motionless, her eyes growing wide.

“Dawn...this is a cemetery. What are we doing in a cemetery? At night. In the dark,” said Kit, fear very evident in her voice.

“Oh, hey, it’s cool. I want to show you this place. We can hang out there for a while,” encouraged Dawn.

“Dawn, I don’t know,” winced Kit, holding herself as she seemed to be cold again, like before.

“I’ve been here plenty of times. You’ll love it! Trust me, you’ll see,” smiled Dawn.

Kit allowed Dawn to pull her forward but her eyes darted around, never settling on anything for more than a second or two.

“Dawn, someone’s here. Someone’s watching us. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you?” gasped Kit.

“Shh, there’s no one here. Who would be nuts enough to come into a cemetery at night?” laughed Dawn bravely, though she searched the shadows and tombstones around them now as well.

Tugging on Kit’s sleeve, Dawn pulled her along, relieved when they finally stood in front of Spike’s crypt. She smiled for her but Kit’s eyes, though wide open, were unfocused and Dawn doubted that she even noticed. Shouldering the door open, Dawn quickly lit several candles, recalling where they were in the dark from her many visits here. Turning, she was surprised to see that Kit had followed her in. Dawn closed the door tightly behind them.

“It’s hot in here,” said Kit, dropping both the six pack and the beer can she held onto the floor.

“What? You kidding? It’s actually kinda cold in here,” said Dawn, watching Kit.

“No. No, it’s too hot in here!” shouted Kit, clawing at her coat. She frantically tore it off and tossed it aside.

“Kit! Hey, take it easy!”

But Kit only became more agitated now, scratching at her skin and obviously unaware that Dawn was even in the room with her.

“Oh God! I’m burning up!”

Kit tore at her shirt, pulling it over her head and shaking it free.

“No! No!” yelled Kit, tearing at her arms and shoulders, drawing blood.

“Kit!”

Not knowing what else to do, Dawn tackled Kit, pinning her arms to her sides. They crashed down hard on the floor and Kit began to cry, whimpering wordless sounds.

“Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay,” comforted Dawn, yet holding on tightly. “I’m here. I’m right here.”

Outside the crypt a booted heel ground out a cigarette into the dirt. Kit had been right about one thing; they weren’t alone in the cemetery.

*****

“What are you laughing at?” asked Willow, smiling and not knowing why.

“I wasn’t going to tell you...but you have, like...straw in your hair,” grinned Buffy. She pulled a dry twig from Willow’s hair as proof, holding it up proudly in front of Willow’s face.

“Well, you look like you’ve had a roll in the hay too, ya know!” laughed Willow, running her hands through her hair.

“Maybe we should get cleaned up,” sighed Buffy. “After all, we wouldn’t want the neighbors to talk.”

“This cleaning up...does it involve getting undressed in the same room?” asked Willow innocently.

Buffy tilted her head slightly, wondering if Willow was serious.

“Buffy, your last lover wasn’t too keen about mirrors. I, on the other hand...”

“Insatiable much?” grinned Buffy.

“Hey, where’s all this fabled Slayer strength I’ve been hearing about?” pouted Willow.

Buffy immediately grabbed Willow’s hand and ran for her front door, pulling Willow along with her.

*****

Skin slick with perspiration, panting to catch her breath, Buffy rolled onto her back and turned her head to smile at Willow.

“Wow, that was...you know, I never even thought of that. Hell, even after, I wouldn’t think it was possible,” grinned Buffy.

“You know the old saying,” gasped Willow.

“Um...”

“Where there’s a Will, there’s a way,” laughed Willow, finally catching her breath too.

“Ugh,” groaned Buffy.

“It’s not so much how slow you go, it’s more the not being able to move much more than, well, slow,” sighed Willow contentedly.

“There’s that,” agreed Buffy. She reached over and brushed Willow’s damp hair away from her forehead, playfully twirling a strand around her finger.

“What are we listening to?” asked Buffy.

“Oh, it’s...”

“Wait, let me guess! I’m thinking...Indigo Girls?” smiled Buffy.

“No,” laughed Willow. “Girls being plural, meaning there’s more than one, meaning there’d be a duet or two. You hearing two girls in harmony?”

Buffy smiled deeply.

“Yeah, I think I was,” nodded Buffy. Willow absolutely beamed.

“Yeah. I think you were,” managed Willow, her voice breaking. “For the record, it’s Norah Jones. Nice mellow, non-distracting background music. Wouldn’t want you getting distracted.”

“Distracted? Willow, a moose could have come wallowing through this room and I wouldn’t have been distracted!”

“Do moose wallow?” said Willow out loud, suddenly serious.

Buffy laughed and Willow took in a deep breath.

“What?” asked Buffy.

Willow just shook her head and then rested her cheek on Buffy’s shoulder.

“Hey, where’s your happy face? You okay?”

“Oh, I’m happy. And I didn’t think I could be, like, ever again,” said Willow, snuggling closer against Buffy’s body. Buffy smiled and stopped playing with Willow’s hair, instead slipping an arm under her neck and pulling her closer.

“Go on,” encouraged Buffy.

“What makes you think there’s more?” whined Willow in baby talk.

“Because your words say one thing but your body tells me another,” replied Buffy.

“My body’s too numb to move, never mind tell you a story,” protested Willow. Buffy waited patiently, knowing she didn’t have to ask again.

“I can’t act happy, can I?” sighed Willow. “I mean, I shouldn’t, right?”

“That’s crazy talk. Why not?”

“Well, what do I say when the others ask why I’m suddenly all smiley girl?”

Willow felt Buffy’s arm tighten ever so slightly around her.

“Oh,” nodded Buffy.

“I understand you not being comfortable with the telling...but sooner or later,” said Willow.

“Yeah,” agreed Buffy, swallowing nervously. “Guess it would be worth it if only to see the expression on Xander’s face.”

“For example,” agreed Willow. “But I think it would be cool instead of just us being happy, our friends could be happy for us.”

Buffy nodded but didn’t say anything. Willow turned and rested her head on one hand, propped up by her elbow and looked down at Buffy.

“I’d be with you, Buffy, and, and we could tell one person at a time. Kinda ease into it, you know?”

“Yeah. But, um...soon, okay?” whispered Buffy.

“Soon is good,” nodded Willow. “And so is this.”

Willow pulled Buffy into a hug and just held her. Buffy welcomed the embrace, letting the sensation of Willow’s skin on her own wash over her. But Buffy’s eyes were wide open...and she knew shouldn’t wouldn’t fall asleep.

*****

“Hold on, hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell.
Hold on, hold on to yourself
You know that only time will tell.
What is it in me that refuses to believe
This isn't easier than the real thing.
My love, you know that you're my best friend
You know that I'd do anything for you.
My love, let nothing come between us
My love for you is strong and true.
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell
At the crossroads I am standing.
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow
And will see another day and we will praise it
And love the light that brings a smile across your face.
Hold on, hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell.” - Sarah McLachlan

Part Seven

“We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.” - James Boswell

*****

Buffy heard the knock at the front door and looked out the window instead of at the clock. It was almost sunrise. Willow was asleep next to her, one hand draped across her waist. Slowly sliding away and slipping out from under the covers, Buffy quickly threw on her robe and pulled the belt tight across her waist. Willow never moved. The knock came again and Buffy swore under her breath as she hurried down the stairs.

“All right all ready! Whoever the hell you are, this had better be important!” muttered Buffy.

She opened the door and stood face to face with Spike, one of his hands raised in an attempt to again knock on the door.

“Spike!” whispered Buffy firmly. “What are you doing here? And what’s with the knocking? You don’t need an invite in!”

“Just being polite,” said Spike with a straight face. And Buffy realized that he was being serious. “Still, would it be rude to ask if I could come in, what with the sun rising and all?”

“Get in here,” answered Buffy, pulling him across the threshold.

“Sorry to wake you,” said Spike.

“No, I was...I was awake. So what’s up?”

“Well...have you checked little bit’s room tonight? I’m thinking you might be surprised to find her bed made already.”

“Spike, Dawn’s sleeping over a friend’s house. And how did you know she wasn’t in her room?” asked Buffy.

“Because she’s not sleeping at a friend’s house. She spent the night in my old crypt. Not sure what she was up to...none of my business, of course...but I stood watch, made sure she didn’t get an unwanted visitor or two. Need I remind you that my kind doesn’t need to be invited into a crypt.”

Buffy looked at Spike for a moment, blinked, and then stared at him again.

“Stayed as late as I could. You know, the sun coming up, my sensitive skin... still, you might want to put some clothes on and check up on her.”

Buffy ran towards the stairs but paused at the first step, looking back at Spike.

“Thank you. For looking out for her.”

Spike just nodded. But after Buffy went upstairs, he smiled.

*****

“What were you two doing here?” asked Buffy.

“I told you, research. Buffy, we weren’t hiding anything from you,” said Willow, trying to keep up with Buffy’s pace. “You’ve got enough stuff to worry about! If it turned out to be something to worry about, well, then I would’ve worried about it for you.”

Buffy frowned at Willow and Willow hung her head.

“Or let you know about,” sighed Willow.

Buffy stopped at the door to Spike’s crypt and looked back at Willow, one hand on the doorknob.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just...hey, are you alright?” asked Buffy.

“Yeah,” nodded Willow, panting. She leaned over, hands on knees. “I don’t care if you are the Slayer, how can you not be out of breath?”

“Let’s just hope Dawn is safe and sound in here,” said Buffy, turning the doorknob and giving the door a shove. “That way I can wring her neck.”

They stood in the doorway, neither of them moving. Empty beer cans were strewn about the floor. Buffy wrinkled her nose at the distinct sour smell of vomit. Their eyes quickly adjusted to the semi-darkness and each followed a trail on the floor deeper into the crypt. First were a pair of boots, then a jacket, a shirt, a bra...and then Dawn popped her head up from beneath a blanket, her eyes growing incredibly wide. Dawn’s mouth opened but no sound came out. Groaning and rubbing her eyes, a bare-shouldered Kit sat up next to Dawn, squinting at the intruders, trying to comprehend what was happening.

Dawn pushed Kit back down and pulled the blanket up over her again. Willow slowly turned her head to look at Buffy. Buffy just stood there, mouth open, unblinking and slightly pale.

“Um, you know, this isn’t what it looks like,” winced Dawn.

Buffy finally blinked.

“Buffy, maybe I should talk to Dawnie here,” suggested Willow timidly.

“Dawn...what the hell is going on?” demanded Buffy, hands sliding upwards to rest on her hips. She took one step in, her shoe crunching on wind-blown debris, small stones, crumbling masonry.

“Look, I can explain everything. Really!” said Dawn, once again pushing Kit back down.

“Buffy, give her...”

“Willow, stay out of this! I don’t need to hear you defending your lifestyle choices at the moment!” barked Buffy, glaring briefly at Willow but quickly turning back to face her sister.

It took Willow a moment to understand what she thought she had heard. Stunned, any pain inflicted by Buffy’s hurtful words was quickly replaced with anger.

“My what!?” shouted Willow.

“Willow, not now! I mean it!”

“Buffy, I didn’t drink! I swear it! Just let me explain!” begged Dawn.

Buffy glared at Dawn, breathing hard, fighting to remain calm. Failing, she turned to face Willow.

“Give her a chance! Trust her! Isn’t that what you said?”

Willow glared right back at her, only getting even more upset now than before. Suddenly Buffy looked like she might actually cry.

“Dawn, is Kit...is Kit...your girlfriend?” choked Buffy.

“My what? No! Buffy...”

“I can’t, I can’t handle this!” snapped Buffy, shaking her head. She turned and ran out of the crypt. Willow took one step after her but stopped, her shoulders slumping as she closed her eyes.

“Oh, my head!” moaned Kit. “Um, Dawn...where are my clothes?”

Willow reluctantly opened her eyes and looked over at the two girls. Dawn raised one side of her mouth in a forced smile.

“Could be worse?” shrugged Dawn.

Distracted by a sudden noise, Willow looked back towards the open crypt door...and saw that it had begun to rain. Exhaling a sigh, she looked back at Dawn but Dawn wouldn’t meet her glare.

*****

Her door was open so Willow didn’t look up when she heard the knock. She just sat on the edge of her bed, hands to either side of her, eyes intent on the floor.

“Hey.”

Willow slowly raised her eyes to stare at Dawn but her expression was empty, devoid of any hint of emotion. If anything she looked tired.

“Well, all things considered, that little talk went better than expected. Then again, I did all of the talking. Buffy kinda just seemed to be looking at me but not seeing me...if that makes any sense. Like she was distracted. Oh, she nodded a few times, but the silent treatment? Can’t believe I’m saying this but I wished she woulda yelled at me,” sighed Dawn.

Willow went back to staring at the floor. Dawn frowned. Keeping her eyes on Willow, she started to chew on her thumbnail.

“Yep, that talk went sorta like this. Are you mad at me too?” whispered Dawn.

Willow shook her head but still didn’t look up.

“Willow, I did the best that I could. We fell asleep. I wasn’t going to stay there. Okay, I was a little wigged and maybe I should’ve done...I don’t know, something else. But I’m sorry.”

Willow finally looked up.

“Dawnie, I want you to know something. Guess I should’ve told you this instead of thinking...instead of hoping that you already knew. I don’t care if you’ve been drinking, or, or stealing a car, or...well, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done. If you need me, anytime, anytime at all, just call me and I’ll come get you. No questions asked. None. Understand? I don’t care if it’s three in the morning.”

“Thanks,” smiled Dawn, her voice failing her. “I’ll remember that.”

“Not that I’m encouraging delinquent behavior,” added Willow half-heartedly.

“I know,” responded Dawn quickly. “Willow, I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. Things, well, kinda worked out. For you, anyway,” sighed Willow.

“And we solved the embalming fluid mystery,” grinned Dawn, although her enthusiasm faded when Willow went back to staring at the floor.

“How’s Kit doing?” managed Willow.

“Better. Still has a wicked headache. At least her mom didn’t find out about...”

Dawn was silenced by a look from Willow.

“Willow, what Buffy said to you, back at the crypt...”

“Doesn’t matter. She, uh...she was upset. Buffy needed to lash out and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” shrugged Willow.

“No. Willow, she’s upset but with herself! She’s so embarrassed that she can’t bear to face you. I mean, she’s mortified. Why do you think I got off so easy? She didn’t even yell at me! I checked the weather report this morning and hell hasn’t frozen over yet so it’s still the same old Buffy, she’s still my sister. So why ain’t I tarred and feathered and grounded until I’m like sixty?”

“Same old Buffy,” repeated Willow, smiling to herself. “You may be closer to the truth than you think, Dawn.”

“Willow, you guys need to talk.”

“No. We don’t.”

“Yes, you do! Talk about it, fight, scream, whatever! But get it out of your system. You can’t not talk about this,” insisted Dawn.

“Then she can come to me,” snapped Willow.

“She doesn’t know how! And what if she doesn’t? You’re just, what? Giving up? You don’t give up that easily. Especially with her. When did this moment of surrender happen? Where was I?”

Willow immediately jerked her head up and Dawn, just for a moment, thought she saw Willow blush but Willow turned away from her, hiding the ache in her green eyes.

“Dawn, I’m going out. I need some air,” announced Willow, standing up and walking past her.

“But it’s raining out!”

“So I’ll take an umbrella,” countered Willow.

“Willow...”

Willow stopped and turned around, glaring at Dawn.

“Just leave me alone, okay?” yelled Willow, waving a hand at Dawn. Dawn’s mouth opened and she looked away. Without waiting for an answer Willow turned and ran down the stairs. A moment later Dawn winced when she heard the front door slam.

*****

The sun had set more than an hour ago when Willow finally came home. She shook her umbrella a few times and then closed it, letting it drop to the floor. There were no lights on in the house. Taking in a deep breath, Willow took a few steps towards the kitchen but stopped. Buffy stood at the front window with her back to her.

“Hey. Whatcha doin’?” called Willow. But Buffy never turned around. She stood at the window, staring out into the darkness as the rain pelted the glass. Willow walked towards her and only now Buffy did turn to face her, eyes puffy and red from crying.

“Yeah. Guess we need to talk. Sorry I was gone so long. I had to, um, do some thinking, you know?” shrugged Willow.

Willow reached for her but Buffy stepped back, avoiding her hand. Willow froze, her hand still outstretched before her.

“Buffy?” said Willow, panic tinging her voice.

“Did...did you put a spell on me?” whispered Buffy.

Willow lowered her hand. She simply stood there, not even blinking.

Did you!?” shouted Buffy, making Willow jump.

“Wh-what? I don’t...Buffy, I...no. No! Of course not!” cringed Willow. “How could you...”

“I’m sorry. Will...I’m so sorry,” said Buffy, closing her eyes with the effort.

“Hey. It’s okay,” soothed Willow. “Don’t cry.”

“I, I can’t...this isn’t working. I tried to...oh God. I don’t know how to say this,” sniffed Buffy, wiping her eyes. She looked up at Willow but had to look away.

“Buffy?” whispered Willow, her voice breaking. Buffy turned to face the window again.

“I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to you. I...I don’t feel what you feel. I thought I could.”

Buffy slowly turned around.

“But I don’t. And I was so afraid this might happen. What...oh God, what do we do now?” winced Buffy.

Dazed, Willow had to reach out her hand to lean against the wall. Her face was pale and her breath came in short, shallow gasps.

“Buffy, I, I...what did I do? I did something wrong. I know I did! Buffy, what did I do? I can’t...Buffy!” pleaded Willow, tears clouding her eyes.

“Willow, you didn’t...”

“This isn’t happening. It isn’t,” said Willow, looking down at the floor, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach.

“It’s not your fault! It’s me. Willow...I can’t feel anything. I tried, I really did. I’m dead inside!” yelled Buffy, one hand thumping her chest.

“No. No, you were happy. We were happy! You can’t fake what I felt, what we did,” cried Willow.

“You don’t understand. The sex was great. Hell, the sex with Spike was great!”

Willow clenched her eyes shut and turned her back on Buffy, one hand covering her mouth.

“But it doesn’t change anything! It’s not love. I’m just, just using you. You know that. Deep down, I know you do,” said Buffy, her voice faltering.

“No. No,” repeated Willow, louder this time, shaking her head. She turned and glared at Buffy, fists clenched, tears streaming down her cheeks. And then the anger left as the pain washed over her. With her back to the wall, Willow slid down into a sitting position, sobbing uncontrollably. Buffy took a step towards her and Willow looked up. The agony in her eyes terrified Buffy and she couldn’t take another step.

“Buffy...I love you,” gasped Willow. Tears welling up at the corners of her eyes, Buffy forced herself not to look away.

“I’m so sorry,” whispered Buffy.

Buffy stepped past her, hesitated, then quickly walked away. Willow closed her eyes, head in her hands. She never heard the door close but the silence of the house pressed down upon her. And Willow knew that she was alone.

“No,” cried Willow, fighting back the anxiety, the helplessness that threatened to overwhelm her.

“No!” she yelled, louder this time, finding strength in her denial. Willow stood uneasily and ran for the door, running into the night without bothering to shut the door behind her.

“Buffy!”

She looked to the left, the right...and saw Buffy walking away, passing under a streetlight. Willow shivered, the cold rain already soaking into her clothes, causing her blouse to cling to her back. She ran after Buffy, her footsteps echoing as she splashed through puddles of dark water.

“Buffy!” screamed Willow. Buffy stopped but didn’t turn around until Willow caught up with her. Panting, hands on her knees, Willow looked up at Buffy in such pain that Buffy had to look away, her lips trembling.

“Why?” begged Willow, pleading for understanding, for pity, for anything. “Why?”

“Why?” repeated Buffy, her mouth curling back in disdain. “Because it’s wrong.”

Willow slowly stood, her mouth open, eyes narrowed in confusion. But even more than that, Willow was afraid.

And Buffy laughed.

Willow fully straightened up, no longer crying.

“You’re a fool, Willow Rosenberg. Did you actually think your best friend would ever become your lover?” challenged Buffy, eyes hard now, menacing. She slowly began to circle Willow but Willow didn’t move. Instead she followed Buffy intently, turning her head to keep her in sight.

“Why would she want you between her legs after she had Spike?” spat Buffy.

Willow winced but kept her eyes on Buffy, forcing herself to keep her breath even.

“A vampire, a Slayer, both supernatural beings...can you even imagine their stamina? Could you even hope to satisfy her like he did?”

Willow glared at Buffy even though her body was shaking.

“It was me, all the time,” laughed Buffy bitterly.

“No,” challenged Willow, but her voice carried more doubt than conviction.

“Think about it. That first morning, in the kitchen with Dawn. She acted as if nothing had happened the night before. Now why was that?” grinned Buffy, circling around Willow to once again stand in front of her.

“She didn’t want to tell your friends...can’t tell them something that never happened.”

Willow looked away for a moment, thinking back, fear and doubt confusing her.

“I didn’t lie to you, witch. Buffy is dead inside, can’t feel a thing now. So how could she possibly love you?” cackled Buffy.

Willow flinched and almost stumbled, unsteady on her feet. Suddenly she swung the back of her hand at Buffy’s face...and her hand passed right through, the sensation stinging like an icy and cloying fog.

“You lie! You, you can’t take corporeal form! It wasn’t you!” shouted Willow.

“No...but I can possess people, manipulate them, make them do things...things they never would do, things that would disgust them,” said Buffy, smiling as she got right up close to Willow’s face. “If they could only remember.”

This Buffy laughed, her harsh words colder than the rain that now pelted Willow’s face. And when Willow looked at this Buffy now her eyes were dark.

“That’s my girl. Give in to your anger, let it take control,” sneered Buffy.

Willow took a step back without realizing it. But her eyes were even blacker now.

“Go on, Willow, hurt me. You know you want to,” smiled Buffy.

And Willow did want to inflict pain upon this thing. The rage within her rose, her hands trembling as she took a step back towards this girl, this impostor. Her lips parted, forming the first word of an incantation...but Willow looked away, knowing she didn’t possess the courage to satisfy this fury, to satiate the hatred welling up inside.

“No. No, that’s what you want. So that I’ll lose control,” whimpered Willow.

“That’s too obvious, isn’t it?” challenged Buffy, hands on her hips. “Maybe I only want you to think that. Maybe...maybe you really can hurt me. Could it be I’m afraid of you, Willow Rosenberg? Won’t know until you try.”

Willow clenched her fists, trying to control her anger, trying to slow her breathing, her eyes matching the stygian emptiness of the night around them. Buffy smiled...and Willow looked away. Buffy stepped right in front of her, her face almost touching Willow’s own. But Willow felt no breath on her skin from this Buffy, only a penetrating coldness that was almost painful to be near.

“Buffy needs pain to feel. It’s the only thing that lets her know she’s alive. Give me that pain...and I won’t hurt her,” whispered Buffy.

“Get away from me,” hissed Willow, her teeth clenched.

Buffy smiled.

“You were one hell of a lover, Will,” whispered Buffy. “I could taste the abyss on your lips. It lingers, long after the kiss.”

Buffy stepped back...and then simply vanished. Somewhere in the cold night a dog barked twice and then was silent.

Willow slowly sat down on the curb, ignoring the rain plastering her hair against her face, her blouse clinging slick to her back...ignoring the cold that numbed her fingers and seemed to seep into her very soul. She drew her knees up close and wrapped her arms around them. Her lower lip trembled but the tears wouldn’t come; she was way beyond tears. Rocking back and forth, Willow tried to simply breathe, forcing the air into her lungs.

And then she remembered. Her hand shaking, she slipped it into her pocket, her legs now splayed out before her. Struggling with the wet fabric, her hand emerged and she opened her palm.

A single pebble, worn smooth with time. Time heals, soothes all wounds. Wasn’t that what she had told Dawn? Yet Willow drew no comfort from the lesson. Her hand closed and now the tears did come. Willow made no effort to hold them back. And she flung the stone as hard as she could into the night. She covered her face with her hands, sobs wracking her body, the tears stinging even in the icy rain.

Willow heard the footsteps splashing towards her and looked up, already knowing who was approaching. And deeply dreading it.

“Willow, what...”

Buffy stopped, frozen by the pain, the lost look on Willow’s face. She slowly knelt down by her side.

“Willow, are you hurt? Are you okay?” asked Buffy, grasping for reassurance. She reached out to touch Willow but Willow drew back, recoiling as Buffy’s hand came near her shoulder. Buffy withdrew her hand as if it had been slapped away.

“Willow!” gasped Buffy.

Willow wiped her eyes, unable to look at Buffy.

“We’ve been looking for you for hours. Where did you go? Will, what I said before, I’m so sorry. I, I don’t know how you can forgive...”

“It was that, that thing. Again,” winced Willow, frantically gasping for breath, forcing herself not to cry.

“What? Are you hurt?” tried Buffy once more. Willow shook her head.

“It told me things, things I wanted to hear, things...things I so wanted to believe. But they were lies. All lies. I should’ve known. I should’ve...”

Willow closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Willow, what did it say to you?” whispered Buffy.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you,” grimaced Willow.

“Willow...”

“Buffy, please! Not now. Please,” begged Willow, glancing at her but quickly looking away.

Buffy made to reach for Willow, to hold her, but froze when she saw Willow look at her hand out of the corner of her eye. Suddenly understanding, Buffy’s eyes grew wide.

“This thing took someone’s form, someone you trusted. Someone you loved,” said Buffy.

Willow barely nodded.

“Tara,” whispered Buffy, the name laced with bitter sadness. Buffy sat down on the curb next to Willow but wouldn’t look at her.

“No.”

Buffy raised her head as if she hadn’t heard.

“What?”

“It wasn’t Tara,” answered Willow quickly.

“But...who else could it be? It makes sense. Show you what you need most, as impossible it seems...who could reach you, touch you more than her?”

Willow’s head snapped around, the anguish in her eyes so visible Buffy had to look away.

“I’m sorry, Willow. I’m not her. I can never replace her. No one can.”

Buffy stood up.

“We should get inside,” stated Buffy flatly.

“Buffy...”

Buffy turned, hesitated for a moment, then began to walk away. Willow quickly stood up.

“Buffy!”

Buffy stopped but didn’t turn around.

“It wasn’t Tara.”

Buffy slumped her shoulders and slowly turned, confused.

“It was you,” said Willow, biting her lower lip. Buffy walked over to Willow and put her hand on her shoulder. Willow didn’t move and as she looked into Buffy’s eyes she fought desperately not to cry.

“Willow, talk to me.”

“It was you,” repeated Willow softly. “Don’t you understand? Can’t you?”

“Willow, what did it say to you?” begged Buffy, her own eyes tearing up.

Willow tried to speak but couldn’t. The rain wasn’t falling any harder but it suddenly seemed louder in the silence between them. Buffy eased her arm around Willow’s shoulder, pulling her in, holding her close.

“It’s okay. There’s nothing you can’t tell me,” pleaded Buffy.

Willow began to cry.

“Damn it, Willow! Why are you doing this? Haven’t I...Willow, I’ve shared your bed with you, my body...don’t push me away. Share this with me. Please,” begged Buffy. “Please!”

Willow blinked, her mouth dropping open. And then her eyes opened wide. Very wide.

“Wh-what? What did you say?” asked Willow excitedly.

“Um...there’s nothing you can’t tell me?”

“No. No! The bed! You...Buffy, you remember? You know?” grinned Willow.

“Huh? I know? Um, Willow, what...”

Willow leaned in and kissed Buffy on the mouth...and Buffy quickly responded, eagerly returning the kiss. Willow pulled away, smiling at a very confused Buffy.

“She lied! She told me it was her and not you! That you never slept with me. That it wasn’t you!” laughed Willow excitedly.

Willow hugged Buffy so fast that she lost her balance and they fell to the sidewalk. Willow’s lips were on her mouth, her neck, smothering Buffy until Willow rolled away, still laughing. Even Buffy couldn’t help but smile.

“Willow,” said Buffy, leaning on one elbow. “Do you know what we must look like?”

“Like lovers in love,” answered Willow quickly. Buffy smiled again and tenderly pushed Willow’s wet hair from her face.

“What did it say that you could have believed its lies?” asked Buffy, shaking her head.

Willow took Buffy’s hand into her own and kissed it.

“Buffy, this thing knows us. Somehow it can get inside, knows what we’re afraid of, understands what buttons to push. It told me that you were dead inside, that you could no longer feel love. That you hurt yourself just to feel! I should’ve known that wasn’t true. I’m sorry.”

“Why? Why did it come after you?” said Buffy, shaking her head.

“It wanted me to use magicks, to fight it...so that I would lose myself again. Buffy, I almost did! I almost...”

“Shh. You were stronger. Maybe it is afraid of you. Willow, maybe you can hurt it.”

“I don’t want to know. Buffy, I can’t, I just can’t.”

Willow sat up and pulled Buffy with her, wrapping her arms around her, holding her tightly. Buffy closed her eyes and embraced Willow, feeling the warmth from her body, and began to cry. She could feel Willow against her, could feel the heat from her own body stir, aroused by her lover’s touch. This she understood, this she knew. Need, desire, simple primal emotions.

But Buffy also knew that this thing, this evil, could get inside, that it understood what they were afraid of most. It knew.

She was dead inside. Completely cold. Like the night. Like before, except now she was living a lie. And it knew.

Could she ever feel love again? Maybe. Maybe with Willow’s help.

But only maybe.

This thing knew how to hurt, how to inflict pain. And Buffy’s pain, the fear that haunted her more than this numbness that gripped her, was that she couldn’t tell Willow the truth. Even worse, she was terrified that Willow would find out.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” whispered Willow, just now realizing that Buffy was crying. She pushed away even as Buffy held on tighter. Willow held her face in her hands, wiping away her tears.

“I’m sorry. It’s...I’m just...happy. So happy,” blurted out Buffy, laughing and crying at the same time. She kissed Willow then rested her forehead against Willow’s forehead.

“Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we go home now? I’m freezing my ass off out here!”

Buffy stood and helped Willow up, slipping her fingers into Willow’s hand. They didn’t say anything on the walk back. Willow smiled, resting her head on Buffy’s shoulder. And Buffy was grateful that Willow couldn’t look at her, see her face as she thought about what this thing had said.

This thing knew, had told Willow the truth. But Willow hadn’t believed it.

This time.

*****

“I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something that it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t” - Bonnie Raitt

THE END