Title- nothingness

Author- Becca

E-mail - beccacurrie@msn.com

Pairing- Sam/Janet

Rating- pg

Disclaimer- nothing in this little story is mine

Summary- ouch a summary would spoil the story!

Notes- thanks to my beta Cara for a great job I hope u all like this.

Professional. All day she had been professional. She had spoken beautiful words about her `friend`. She had found it difficult to keep her emotions in check. Couldn’t look like she was grieving for a wife could she? She stood tall as her colleges expressed their pathetic apologies at her loss.

`What the hell did they know?`

Her mind was racing. What was she gonna do without her? How would she cope with everything, with Cassie? This would be too hard but she had to be strong, had to stay professional. No-one knew her hurt, so no-one could comfort her.

`God damn her for leaving?`

But she didn’t leave did she? No she was killed by a stupid fuckin’

Goa’uld. Stupid race of inbreeds. God, she wanted to scream. Scream so loud she would shatter the world, the universe then maybe her hurt would lessen. Her hurt would never lessen. Nothing in life had prepared her for this torture. She walked past people, people she didn’t even know. She had to get out of here. She headed for the surface. Headed for the safety of home. But it wouldn’t feel safe any more, there was no wife there to welcome her home, to say `hi sweety`, to whisper `I love you` at night when all was still, to cuddle next to when the night became so cold and there were goose bumps on top of goose bumps. Oh my god she wished people would stop say ` I know how much of a friend she was to you.` God she wanted to scream.

`She wasn’t just my friend she was lover, my life, my soul mate, my wife… my everything!`

Finally she got to her car, jumped in and sped away. Away from the hurt, the pain, all the little reminders of her. Everywhere she went there she was staring her in the eye. The warmth of those orbs making her feel loved and warm inside. Pulling into the drive she noticed Cassie’s car was gone. Good she thought she needs to get out of the house for a while. The key was in the door and so was one foot. Inside she had the privacy to grieve the way she was meant to. She walked straight to the mantle piece and picked up a photo of herself and her one and only. They were on holiday and they were playing about wrestling each other Cassie had taken the snap without the adults even noticing.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

1 year earlier

“Janet oh my god that was my side” laughed Sam

“OH I’m so sorry Sam. Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine, but I’ll get you back don’t worry.”

Janet got up and walked towards Sam and swung her arms around her neck.

“is that a promise?” she whispered seductively.

“Oh ya. Defiantly.”

Sam leaned forward and drank in the warmth of Janet’s mouth.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you.”

“Oh I have a fair idea. Cause if it’s anything like I love you then I don’t think I could be happier.”

They kissed again and Sam tickled Janet and they began wrestling again.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Tears were flowing freely down her face. It was time for her to cry, to let her emotions free out of the cage of professionalism they were trapped in.

She swept her arm over the mantle piece sending lost memories flying over the wall and floor. Everything had gone wrong. What did she do to deserve this? How can something so right be taken from you? It was going to take more than a hoover and duster to clean up the mess in Sam’s life.

It was going to take every ounce of strength she had.

I have no idea where that came from I just felt the need to write that lol