TITLE: Nothing Really Matters
AUTHOR: Angelina
EMAIL: angelina2006@hotmail.com
SUMMARY: First day of Sophomore year
PAIRING: Do you have to ask? Brooke & Sam...duh.
DISTRIBUTION: If you want it e-mail me – I'll say yes.
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Touchstone Television
AUTHOR'S NOTES: All feedback welcome. Yes it's been ages since I posted anything. And yes I do plan to finish those fics I've left hanging. But I can't seem to write them at the moment so I decided to write this. Dan issued a Challenge a little while ago about Brooke and Sam already being together before the Series started and then having to deal with their parent's new relationship and stuff. Well, that intrigued me quite a bit and this morning I wrote this. It's short and I'm not sure where it's going, if anywhere, but I thought I'd post it anyway. So here it is. Oh, and the title's just purloined from a Madonna song. No particular reason for it.
Additional Note: Hi everybody.
I'd like to thank everyone who sent me such kind feedback urging me to continue with this story. However, after some consideration I decided to actually _watch_ the episode in question (yes, I know I should have done that before I wrote the story in the first place) and I realised something.
Problem? What I'd written wouldn't really work if I was gonna try and continue it and try to keep it fitting in with the series.
Solution? I've re-written the first part of the story. It's about double the length that it was and it does actually fit in around the canon events of Episode one (well, the first third of it anyway). Obviously I've missed out plot-points that would contradict my version of events. And I'm really unsure about the whole B/J thing. Get your minds out of the gutter, I'm talking about Brooke/Josh. So you can read what I've written and tell me if you think I should kick this plot to the kerb. It is my intention to carry on with this until Episode one is finished and then take stock to see if I should write more of the first season.
Much of the dialogue is stolen directly from the Episode so I can't take any credit for it. I just added in 'said Sam' and things like that. And I added in the stuff round about the dialogue. So you can let me know what you think of the adapted version of the story.
Thanks again for the feedback I received for the first attempt. And BTW, this is the first time I've EVER changed a story after sending it out. Usually I don't even read it again, let alone make changes. But this one bugged me. I'm going now.
Ciao
Angie
Sam wandered through the halls of Kennedy High in a state resembling euphoria. This might seem strange for a schoolgirl on the first day back after summer vacation, especially as she was walking with Lily, but Sam had good reason for the smile plastered across her features. She was in love. Completely and utterly in love. This was by no means a new turn of events. She had been in love and had that love returned for quite some time. But it was a love so strong that occasionally it sneaked up on Sam and gave her happy-fuzzy feelings for no particular reason. And now was one of those times. So Sam sauntered lazily down the corridor, content to be young and free in America. She was even managing to convincingly pretend that she had the slightest idea about which cause Lily was babbling about in her ear.
Then, just as they turned a corner, Sam's face came into contact with someone's shoulder, bringing her to a sudden halt. Sam took a step backwards and found herself staring into familiar hazel eyes. Brooke McQueen, the most popular and beautiful girl in school. Neither girl said anything but did not break the eye-contact. Then the moment was shattered by a piercing and indignant voice.
"Hi, rude much? Watch where you're going. Thank you."
Nicole's tone implied that they had a nerve, daring to bump into people so far above them in social importance. Nicole shoved past Lily. Brooke followed behind, still watching Sam over her shoulder. Sam was dragged away by Lily who was mumbling something about Brooke and Nicole's karmic destiny of becoming alcoholic housewives. Sam enjoyed the mental picture of Nicole in slippers and a headscarf for a second before she forced herself to listen to what Lily was saying.
"Anyway, this is more important, sign my petition."
Lily thrust a clipboard under Sam's nose. Not for the first time in her life, Sam congratulated herself on having the perfect excuse to stay out of one of Lily's crusades.
"Journalists have to remain objective. If I sign it, I can't report on it."
But in an attempt to keep Lily happy, Sam whipped out a dictaphone and allowed Lily to rant into it for a few minutes. This had the upside of letting Sam slip into her own private world for a little while. A world where she didn't have to project anything fake, a world where she could be with the person she loved without the interference from the rest of the human race. Sam realised that Lily had stopped talking and was now asking why she had totally spaced out. Sam thought quickly.
"Wow, look at them." Sam said, indicating their fellow students, and wondering what the hell was going to come out of her mouth. "They all dress alike, talk alike. They're terrified of having an opinion or being different. Then they'd risk being judged. They're like cattle. No, sheep." Baa, Sam thought. "You know what? I'm tired of being crowded in a safe little pen. That's why…I'm…going to get my nose pierced."
Total cop out, McPherson, Sam thought. But Lily was grinning widely and nodding her head.
"That is so cool. That is like a metaphor for the heinous high school experience."
Sam smiled, well, at least Lily was convinced.
"Hey guys, welcome back."
Sam turned to see Mr Grant, her journalism teacher approaching.
"Sam, we're meeting in my office tomorrow right?"
Sam smiled and nodded. "Yeah."
As he walked away Lily turned to Sam with a knowing look on her face.
"He is sooo your alternative nation guy!" she said smugly.
"Please, Mr Grant and I are just buds. I admire him for marching to his own drummer that's all." Sam replied.
She was well aware that she sounded like she was trying to cover up a crush. That plus the blatant flirting was all part of a cunning diversionary tactic. Having an unobtainable object of affection was a safe way of hiding the fact that she wasn't going out with anyone and didn't seem to have the hots for anyone. Lily seemed satisfied that her suspicions were well founded and they headed off down the corridor where they met up with Carmen. Sam listened to Carmen's stories of summer `Fat Camp' with growing unease. And not because she thought it was air-headed and superficial. But because she knew how dangerous and destructive body image could be. She resolved to talk to Carmen about it but before she could say anything, Harrison bounded up to join them waving a piece of paper.
"Did you see this? Brooke McQueen is having a party this weekend. Invite only." he added, wistfully.
Sam feigned indifference while Lily took the flyer and looked at it, sighing.
"And so another season of social fascism begins."
Sam listened to Sam and Harrison debating the relative merits of gate-crashing versus being invited for a bit before she felt compelled to interrupt.
"Look, who cares? All it's gonna be is a bunch of fashion victims eating chex mix, drinking their first beer and yakking in the buses. You know, when did Brooke McQueen become the sun around which all of us revolve?"
The looks she received from her friends made Sam realise that her protests had possibly seemed a bit too vehement and propmted by very little. She went for a little damage control.
"OK, I'll just get on my broom now and ride off to first period."
And then she left her friends to argue over which stage in her menstrual cycle had caused her outburst.
Sam strolled down the hallway, keeping a professional eye open for anything newsworthy. Sure, she had Lily's dissection protest story but she needed something edgier than that. She didn't get all that far before a hand shot out of a closet and dragged her in.
Sam was about to scream as she was not the type to be man-handled without putting up some sort of a fight. But all the fight went out of her when soft lips made contact with her own, kissing her urgently. Strong arms encircled Sam as she returned the kiss feverishly, pulling her assailant against her body and revelling in the contact. After a few short moments the kiss was broken and Sam laid her head on the shoulder in front of her, panting, trying to get her breathing back to normal. Sam pressed a gentle kiss to her lover's neck, feeling the racing of the pulse just underneath the skin.
"Well, good morning to you too Ms McQueen." Sam said, smiling up in the direction of Brooke's face in the pitch-black darkness of the closet.
"Damn, how'd you know it was me?" Brooke joked, nuzzling Sam's cheek with her nose.
"Well, I wasn't sure at first, cuz, you know people often drag me into secluded spots for a quick smooch."
"So, what gave me away?"
"You're the best kisser of the bunch."
"Damn straight."
"Bad choice of words, Brooke. Especially considering we're in a closet …how fitting."
"Hey."
Brooke's voice was soft and she pulled away from Sam. Sam was about to apologise when she heard a scuffle, followed by a string of expletives and then finally a click as Brooke located the light-switch. Brooke walked back over to Sam and put her arms around her waist. She looked plaintively into Sam's eyes.
"Come on Sam, we've talked about this a zillion times. It's what we both want. Neither of us needs the hassle or the pressure that would come with us going public right now. Plus it would most probably cause an out and out war between your posse and mine. Either that or my best friend would murder you."
Sam raised an eyebrow.
"I'd like to see her try."
"No you wouldn't, trust me on this one."
Brooke shivered and pulled Sam closer, not wanting to think what would happen if Nicole ever found out. Sam sighed into Brooke's hair.
"I know we've talked about it and rationally I know it's the only sensible thing to do. It's just…it's just that sometimes I get really overwhelmed by how I feel about you and I don't see why I should hide those feelings from everybody because there's absolutely nothing wrong with them."
Sam buried her face into the crook of Brooke's shoulder as she spoke, trying to hide the blush that always accompanied any outpouring of emotion. Brooke's hand came up to cup Sam's cheek, making her look up.
"You're so cute when you're blushing." Brooke whispered, causing the colour to deepen even further. " And I feel like that too ya know. Sometimes I want nothing more than to get on the school's PA system and announce to the whole lot of them that I'm in love with you. But then I think about how things would change. How it'd be different. I don't want us to be judged just because we're in love with each other. I don't want people to think less of us because of it. It'd taint what we have and that's the absolute last thing I want. What we have is wonderful…and I'm afraid to change it in case…I dunno, in case it's not the same."
"I know what you mean babe, and I'm sorry I made the stupid comment. As long as I have you I don't care about anything else."
Brooke smiled at Sam and kissed the end of her nose. She decided to change the subject.
"So, anyway, did she leave?" she asked conspiratorially.
Sam rolled her eyes.
"Eventually. I almost had to kick her out the damn door! She started having last minute doubts and stuff. But she went, thank God. It took me ages to find that cruise so that it would coincide with your Dad's trip. If she'd decided she wasn't going I'd have had to resort to drastic measures."
"Like what?" Brooke asked.
"Tie her up, drive her to the docks and put her in the cargo hold of the liner?" Sam suggested and Brooke giggled. "I don't know but I'm surprised she wasn't suspicious of anything. I was really trying not to act like a horny teenager who wanted the house to myself but I don't think I quite pulled it off."
"Horny huh? I'll have to see if I can do something about that." Brooke said, taking Sam's bottom lip between her teeth and pulling gently.
"Well…" Sam said, her breath coming quicker as Brooke moved around her jawbone, dropping kisses all the way. "…we do have a blissfully Parent Free week stretching out ahead of us. I'm sure we can satisfy my poor hormones in that time."
"We can but try." Brooke said huskily.
"And have a hell of a time doing it." Sam added, succumbing to Brooke's lips and kissing her deeply. "Oh, by the way, I hear there's a big bash at your house this Friday."
Brooke groaned.
"I know, I couldn't get out of it. I wanted to spend Friday night with you. Alone. But I guess we'll just have to move my plans to another night…or three."
Sam grinned.
"I take it I'm not invited to the party of the year."
Brooke looked at her doubtfully.
"Would you want to be? Cuz if you want I could get you an invite…I just assumed you wouldn't want to be there."
"Nah, I was just saying…I don't think I could spend a whole night watching you and Josh macking." Sam said, faking a shudder at the thought.
"Oh…um, about Josh." Brooke began hesitantly. "He's coming over on Tuesday night."
Sam looked at her sharply, not liking the implications of Brooke's tone of voice.
"Are you gonna sleep with him?"
She hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but that was the issue at hand and there was no point denying it. Brooke looked at the floor.
"I don't know Sam, that's the plan. I've been putting him off for months…he's been really good about it…but I don't think I can stall much longer without him getting suspicious."
Sam pulled out of Brooke's embrace. She folded her arms across her chest.
"Then dump him."
Brooke looked up.
"Is that really what you want me to do Sam? Because the last time I suggested it you said no, you said that it was a good cover story. Have you changed your mind? Again?" Brooke challenged.
Sam thought back to the speech she'd given to Lily about being scared to be an individual. And suddenly she didn't quite have the courage of her convictions. Brooke dumping Josh would be one step closer to them telling everyone about their relationships. And as much as she hated to admit it, Sam was scared of that thought.
She reached out and cupped Brooke's cheek, stroking the skin with her thumb. Brooke leaned into the contact.
"But you shouldn't have to do something you don't want to just to keep us a secret." Sam whispered.
"It's OK Sammy, it wouldn't be…well it wouldn't be weird doing it with Josh because I've known him for so long. We've gone out since I can't remember when. He's like my brother…no, wait, that's an image that's way too disturbing."
They both laughed. Brooke leaned her forehead against Sam's.
"I don't know what's going to happen. He's really not all that into sexy stuff. We hardly even kiss when we're alone. He does it at school but it's totally just for show. Just like everything else I suppose. So it might not even happen…but he has been talking about it lately. I think he's worried that people know we haven't done it. I know everyone assumes we have. But I guess the guys are talking about stuff he doesn't really get in the locker room. But if we do it then that might get it out of his system. I can't see him being a rampant, six-times a night guy or anything."
"Brooke, honey, can we not talk about this anymore? It's bad enough you have to do it. I could really do without hearing about it." Sam looked imploringly at Brooke.
"You got it. Sorry."
To make up for the trauma that the conversation seemed to be causing Sam, Brooke captured her lips in a searing kiss. Sam's arms tightened around Brooke's body as their kisses increased in intensity. They parted momentarily, breathless.
"I love you." Sam said, her voice low.
"I love you so much." Brooke whispered directly into Sam's ear.
Brooke sucked on Sam's earlobe while her hands explored the familiar terrain of her lover's torso. She bit down on soft skin and smiled at the whimper that escaped Sam's lips. Suddenly her head was brought around and her lips were crashing against Sam's as Sam grew frustrated by the teasing touches. The ferocity of the kiss made Brooke stumble backwards until she was pressed against the wall with Sam's body pinning her in place. Sam's hand found its way under Brooke's top. She traced her way up the smooth abdomen, stopping when she heard Brooke gasp as her hand made contact with the silky material of Brooke's bra. She tormented the sensitive flesh through the garment. Brooke's hand came up to cover Sam's as she begged for more. And then the bell rang, signalling the start of class.
Sam drew back to look into Brooke's eyes. She slowly withdrew her hand, running her fingers over hot, enflamed skin as she did so. Then she leaned in and kissed Brooke's lips once.
"We'll continue this later." Sam said, her eyes still dark with arousal.
"I'll hold you to that." Brooke said, her voice quivering.
"But for now we have to go pretend to hate each other's guts for a while."
"Don't say it like you don't enjoy it Sammy, you love getting all steamed up at me in front of everyone."
"Only coz I know I'll be letting off steam with you later."
"Hmmm. You're gorgeous when you're angry."
Brooke reached out to trace Sam's lips with her finger.
"Hey, hey, hey. Don't start this again or we're gonna be late." Sam said, catching Brooke's hand in her own.
"You're right…and we've got plenty of time for this." Brooke agreed, collecting herself.
"You want me to go first?" Sam asked. "You still look a little flustered."
"You don't have to look so smug when you say that McPherson. But yeah, you go on."
"I'll see you later then?" Sam asked, leaning in for a quick kiss.
"Most definitely."
Sam grinned widely and then left. Brooke leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. Sam did things to her that no-one else had ever come close to. She shook her head and smiled. It was going to be an interesting week.
Morning classes passed without incident and lunch period rolled around. Brooke sat twirling her hair around a finger while Nicole gushed about how fabulous it was to be a cheerleader and hold the fate of the hopefuls in their hands. Brooke replied without really thinking her answer through.
"Oh yeah, a real blast. We're gonna make three new friends and fifty enemies."
Nicole looked at her incredulously. Brooke normally agreed with most things she said. And who cared about the fifty wannabes anyway?
"Hello? Bringing the room down." Nicole admonished and Brooke made no further comment.
She looked up to see Josh and one of his friends drawing near to the table. She offered him what she hoped was a warm smile but her conversation with Sam was preying on her mind. Josh introduced the guy as Sugar Daddy. Brooke only half-listened as Sugar made some tasteless comments about Nicole's appearance, particularly her `rack'. She watched Nicole storm off to vomit. Then Josh's voice caught her attention.
"Bro, what are you doing? I set you up an intro, you act like a Neanderthal? You gotta be smooth. This is how you treat a lady."
Brooke smiled at Josh's inept attempts at being `sensitive'. He leaned down and plucked a cracker from between her teeth, then deepened the contact into a tender kiss.
Over at Sam's table this display was not pleasing one of the occupants.
"Oh my God! Look at them." Sam said, her face the very picture of disgust. "They're like some bad Mariah Carey power ballad come to life."
Normally Sam wasn't quite so vocal about her disdain for the couple's public displays of affection. But hearing about the proposed meeting of the Tuesday Night Sex Club had brought a certain amount of bile bubbling to the surface. None of her friends replied directly to her outburst so she closed her mouth and tried to get her irrational jealousy under control. Brooke loved her. Brooke didn't love Josh. It's just sex. It isn't making love. Sam decided to adopt this as a mantra whenever the thought of Josh touching Brooke invaded her mind. Sam was shaken out of her thought process by nine words that chilled her to the very core.
"That's what's gonna get me on the cheerleading squad."
Sam, Lily and Harrison looked at Carmen like she'd suggested joining the Klu Klux Klan. This was not good. Sam knew how the cheerleaders worked. And she knew that with Nicole as co-captain Carmen didn't have a hope in hell of making it onto the squad. She wanted to help her friend avoid the humiliation that was bound to be inflicted upon her should she even try out.
"Carm," Sam ventured. "Are you sure you really wanna be a leader, who cheers?"
"Duh, they're popular." Carmen said, like Sam was the thickest person she'd ever conversed with.
"See, this is exactly what I've realised. Popularity is just conformity. Brooke McQueen and her posse, they're a cult. Join and you're a goner."
Yep, I'm definitely pretty far gone anyway, thought Sam. While she was speaking, Sam had unconsciously been staring right at Brooke. Brooke happened to be sneaking a glance at Sam at the same time and had caught her eye, she was transfixed. Both girls realised what was happening and sought to quickly remedy it before anyone noticed them staring.
"Why does that girl keep looking at me?" Brooke asked. "It freaks me out. Who is she anyway?"
Good one, pretend you don't even know her name, pretend like you weren't screaming it at the top of you voice in her car last night, Brooke thought guiltily.
Sugar Daddy was helpfully explaining that the girl was in fact Sam McPherson whose papers he intended to cheat off of in algebra this year. Brooke ignored him. She could feel her heart start to quicken the longer she gazed at Sam and she hurriedly continued her tirade.
"She just gives off this air like she's so superior. Sad really, you can tell it's just a cover up."
Brooke realised that she could be talking about herself. Sam, meanwhile, found herself doing the exact same thing.
"I actually feel bad for her. She's trapped in her own personal persona prison but she can't show that. That's why she's so…"
"Fake." Brooke was concluding her assessment of Sam's character.
"Phoney" Sam finished her sentence shaking her head.
"When you try to pretend you're something you're not, it's just a sign of…"
"Low self-esteem." Sam decided.
"Total low self-esteem." Brooke finished, still staring into Sam's eyes across the lunchroom.
Their respective groups of friends mumbled something resembling agreement, unsure of where the whole rant had come from and why the girls seemed so worked up about someone from another walk of life. Their thoughts were cut short as the bell rang. Time for the first Biology lesson of the semester.
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