TITLE: No Pain, No Gain
AUTHOR: Angelina
EMAIL: angelina2006@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Touchstone Television (I think)
SUMMARY: Sam isn't too keen on Brooke's suggestion for marking their first anniversary.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: All feedback welcome. This is short and pointless, it popped into my head and I thought I'd inflict it on all of you good people.
"Tattoos?"
"Yeah! Don't you think that'd be great?"
"I don't know Brooke, isn't that kind of permanent?"
"Well duh Sam, it's supposed to be a symbol of our relationship."
"Yeah, but...if I come in with `Brooke Forever' tattooed in a heart across my chest I think my mother might suspect something."
"You're not gonna get one emblazoned across your chest though are you that'd just be silly. We'd get them somewhere discreet."
"Like where?"
"Ummm, I don't know...where's somewhere no-one ever sees? The inner thigh?"
"And just what would we be getting scratched into our delicate, fair, young skin?"
"Well, I thought we could get each other's initials or something."
"Do you really think you want S & M tattooed on your inner thigh? What would people think?"
"What do you mean people? You're the only one who's gonna see it or even know it's there."
"Well that's nice and all Brooke, but."
"But what? Come on Sam...this is something special that we can share. Just the two of us."
"I know...it's not that...it's just."
"You're not scared are you?"
"No!"
"You are too!"
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are!"
"OK, yes I am."
"I knew it!"
"Look, I'm just not all that good with needles...or blood...or pain."
"So what you're saying is that I'm not worth a teeny, tiny little bit of pain?"
"Shut up, you know I love you...and who says it's teeny, tiny? I've seen people getting them on TV...there's lots of screaming and shouting and blood loss involved. I just don't think that we need to prove how we feel about each other by allowing some hell's angel reject to inject ink underneath our skin with a needle that could be encrusted with all sorts of diseases and other gross stuff...can't we just go out for a nice dinner or something instead?"
"But Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!"
"You think the whiny voice is going to help? And stop trying to pout. I invented the pout, I'm impervious to its powers...and don't think that by doing that with your hand you'll get round m...oh that's nice. yeah, right there...oh that's really goo...but stop it now, I'm being serious! You really, really want us to get tattoos?"
"Yes...but if you really, really don't want to then we won't...I'm not going to force you into anything...I wouldn't want you to be put through any inconvenience for little old me...don't put yourself out on my account...I'm just the love of your life...don't go to any bother just for."
"Alright, alright...on a scale of one to ten how painful do you think this is gonna be...and I want the truth."
"OK...I'd say about seven."
"Seven?!? Oh God, I though you were gonna say three or something. seven...seven...you think they'd sedate me before they did it? As in knock me out...using elephant tranquillisers if necessary? We're talking total sensory deprivation here. And back up drugs."
"I don't think they're allowed to do that Sam."
"Damn...OK, we'll do it...but I want you to know that I'm doing this for you...and if I die of blood poisoning I want written on my tombstone `Here lies Sam, she was far too easily led by her bad-influence of a girlfriend'."
"Really? You mean it? Oh Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou..mwah!"
"Yeah? Well, just remember that when I'm cursing your name when they come near me with that needle."
"It's gonna be great...I promise. You're the best girlfriend I ever had."
"I know this. And we better decide what we're getting...cuz there's no way I'm letting you get `S&M' written on your body."
"It wouldn't be `S&M'. It would be an `S' and an `M'. separately. But I see what you mean. OK, how about I just get an `S' done in fancy writing and you get a `B'?"
"Can it be a small `B'? Like, really small?"
"Yes, it can be small. And I'll hold your hand the whole time."
"Hold me down more like...to keep me from bolting."
"It's gonna be so romantic. Like Angelina and Billy Bob."
"Brooke, Angelina and Billy Bob wear each other's blood around their necks. I really don't think they should be held up as paragons of romance."
"OK, I just meant coz they have tattoos of each other's names."
"Hmmm. OK, so I agreed to your suggestion for the anniversary...how about we try out mine?"
"Now? We'd have to go to the store and get more whipped cream and find that blindfold first."
"Not right now...right now you could continue doing that thing you were doing with your hand earlie...oh yeah...that thing...right there...niiiiiiiiiice."
"Happy anniversary Sammy."
"Happy anniver...oh God!"
THE END
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