TITLE: Mommy Dearest
AUTHOR: Angelina
EMAIL: angelina2006@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Touchstone Television
SUMMARY: Sam lies awake at night.
DISTRIBUTION: If you want it e-mail me – I'll say yes.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: All feedback welcome. Hmmmm, this is the start of an idea that's been kicking around in my head for a while. Don't know if anything will come of it. When I started Parental Issues I promised myself that I wouldn't start any other fics till I finished it. I think this is the fifth fic since then. Anyhoo, lemme know if you think this is worth carrying on with.
Sam lay awake, staring at the ceiling. It wasn't a terribly interesting ceiling. It wasn't tiled. It was painted white. There weren't even any cracks, nothing to count. Still she stared. Occasionally a cloud would move over the moon, a shadow would move on the blank canvas, allowing Sam's vivid imagination to invent stories and scenarios. Then the cloud would pass and the ceiling would be empty. Like the bed Sam was lying in. This was the reason for the insomnia. One of the bed's usual occupants was missing and Sam was finding it hard to sleep. It wasn't the first time. Lately Sam had often gone to bed alone, tossing and turning before sleep finally came. But tonight sleep seemed particularly evasive. Sam rolled over and buried her face in the pillow, inhaling the distinctive smell it held deep within its soft core. She manoeuvred the pillow into her arms, a surrogate lover, and tried once again to close her eyes. To no avail.
Finally, the welcome sound of tyres on gravel drifted in from outside. Sam quickly put the pillow in its normal place and adjusted herself into a `natural' sleeping position. She strained to hear the few words being exchanged by the driver and the passenger but they were too quiet. Then the door was slammed shut and the car pulled out of the driveway. Soft footfalls on the stairs matched the rhythm of Sam's heartbeat. Bathroom noises filtered through the wall. Then the strip of light under the door was extinguished as the hall light was switched out. The room door was opened slowly and closed gently. Sam lay in the dark, facing away from the door, knowing exactly what each sound was. The clink as jewellery was placed on the dresser, the swish of clothes being removed, a few strokes of a hairbrush. And Sam knew her lover was ready for bed. Sam kept her breathing steady, kept her façade of sleep up as the covers were lifted and a warm body climbed in beside her.
"I know you're not asleep."
Sam didn't reply. She turned round and immediately picked out bright hazel eyes in the dimness of the room. Without speaking she moved closer to Brooke, slipping her arms around the slim waist and nuzzling her face into the warmth of Brooke's neck. Brooke brought her arms up around Sam's torso, running a lazy hand up her back, letting it tangle in the long dark tresses at the top. She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Sam's cheek.
"What's wrong?" Brooke whispered.
"Nothing." Sam replied, her voice muffled slightly as she continued to nuzzle Brooke's neck.
"Then why are you still awake?" Brooke continued, idly playing with a strand of Sam's hair.
"Couldn't sleep. Was missing you." Sam hoped this would pacify Brooke.
"You were missing me, but you pretended to be sleeping when I came in? Doesn't make sense Sammy. That, and the fact that you're wound tighter than a watch spring brings me back to my initial question. What's wrong?"
"I'm not wound tightly!" Sam protested, finally bringing her face out of the crook of Brooke's neck.
"Sam, you're so tense you're practically shaking, and you're worrying me by denying that something's the matter. C'mon Sam, I thought we could talk to each other about everything."
Brooke's hurt tone touched Sam's heart and she sighed and leaned up on one elbow looking down at Brooke. She leaned down briefly to touch her lips against Brooke's before starting to speak.
"So, what did you and your mom get up to tonight?"
"Why are you changing the subject?" Brooke whined, cupping Sam's cheek.
"I'm not, I'm just getting to the point in a round about way."
Realisation dawned in Brooke's eyes and she looked away. She knew that she'd been spending a lot of time with her mother lately. But she had eight years of catching up to do. And she had thought Sam would understand that. Brooke brought her eyes back to Sam's.
"I'm sorry Sam. I know we haven't been spending all that much time together, and I've been missing you too. But it's just, my mom wants to take me to all these places, and I feel really bad saying no to her. But I promise we'll do something tomorrow. Just the two of us, something romantic."
Sam was shaking her head.
"Brooke, it isn't that I don't want you to spend time with your mother. God knows if someone gave me the opportunity to have just one more day with my Dad I'd do anything. I just…"
Brooke sat up and leaned on her elbow, mirroring Sam. She reached out and placed a hand on Sam's hip, pulling them a little closer together.
"It's just what Sammy?" She coaxed.
"It's just that I'm scared." Sam whispered, the words coming out in a rush, eyes downcast.
"Scared of what baby?" Brooke asked, tipping Sam's chin up, trying to see her eyes.
Sam looked at Brooke with eyes glistening.
"Scared that one day you won't come back. Scared that you'll decide you want to be with your mother in San Francisco and you'll move away. Scared that I won't see you again. Scared that I'm losing you."
"Oh God." Brooke whispered as she watched Sam dissolve into tears.
She reached over and pulled the sobbing girl into her arms, holding her close, rubbing her back. She spoke in low, soothing tones.
"You could never lose me. I'm not going anywhere, the only place I want to be is wherever you are. You must know that. My mom is here because I'm here, if she wants to see me she knows where to find me. I'm not stupid, I know when I'm onto a good thing and I'm not giving you up to run off to San Francisco. I'll never leave you Sammy, I love you way too much. I'm sorry that I haven't been around for you lately. And I'm sorry that I let you get to the point where you considered this a possibility. I'm here for the long haul. So you don't have to worry about me going anywhere. OK?"
Sam pulled back and rubbed her eyes with her fist. She offered Brooke a watery smile. She leaned over and kissed Brooke deeply, holding her close.
"I love you."
Brooke smiled happily.
"And I love you back, so we're even."
Brooke pulled Sam down onto the bed and snuggled up against her. Sam allowed herself to relax into Brooke's embrace. Brooke's words had provided her with some much needed comfort and reassurance. But Sam hadn't been able to bring herself to say what was truly bothering her. Brooke shouldn't have to deal with that. And with any luck she wouldn't have to. Sam let out a shuddering breath, the aftermath of her tears, and closed her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep she prayed that Brooke's words would ring true. But of that she wasn't convinced.
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