Title: Truth or Dare

Author: Alan Hitchen

Email: darkmere2000@yahoo.co.uk

Archive: http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/alan.htm

Fandom: Undeclared (Fox 2001/2002)

Disclaimer: Undeclared is the creation of Judd Apatow and the property of Dreamworks LLC.

Pairing: Rachel/Kelly

Rating: NC-17 (sex)

Information: Based on the episode of the same name. Story by Judd Apatow. Teleplay by Seth Rogen (who plays Ron) from which I have quoted. For those who have not seen the show Rachel is played by Monica Keena and Kelly by Busy Philipps, both of which are better known for being in Dawson's Creek as Abby and Audrey respectively.

Summary: Ron has a crush on a pretty blonde, so naturally his friends go all out to help him - and themselves.

"Welcome to the University of North Eastern California. My name is Kelly and I'll be happy to answer all of your questions, but as we're running late I will ask that you save them for the end of the tour so we can get through this as fast as possible. Okay, right now I'm going to stop here so we can take a look at this building. One of the oldest on campus it's..."

"Her name is Kelly; she's the student tour guide," said Ron in respectful awe of the uniformed goddess.

"So, come on, introduce us," prompted Lloyd.

Ron shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Well, I've never actually spoken to her you know, but I know all I need to know. She's cute, she's enthusiastic, she has a good sense of location and a love of architecture. And look how well she deals with kids. Yep, already this is the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had."

As he continued to stare a wavy-haired brunette girl approached Kelly and greeted her with a friendly hug. "Lizzie knows her?" he observed to himself in obvious puzzlement.

"This is good," said Marshall. "Now you can get an invite and meet her."

"No, I don't want to meet her. Right now she's perfect. I don't want to ruin the image."

"Lizzie!" bellowed Lloyd, forcing the issue. Lizzie and Kelly switched their focus to the group of boys watching from a distance and Lizzie waved back at Lloyd, but Ron had already run away.

...

Later that morning, Lizzie caught up with Ron as he headed for class and passed on some good news. "Kelly said she'd love to come hang out."

"What?" said Ron, not quite believing he was hearing what he was hearing.

"Lloyd and Marshall told me you had a crush on her and how you want me to bring her over tonight," she explained. "That is so cute," she twinkled. "So I asked her and she said yes. We'll see you at eight then. Okay. Seeya!"

...

Ron was angry when he finally located his friends in the recreation room. "I told you I didn't want to meet her."

"Well, we do," Lloyd replied with an easy grin.

"Guys!" Ron protested.

"Fine," said Lloyd off-handedly. "I'll just tell Kelly you're not interested."

"Urrgh! Okay! But we'll do this my way."

"Of course," Lloyd agreed, "but Marshall here has had an idea that might interest you - Truth or Dare."

"What? Come on. It never works out the way you want it to. You always end up looking like a complete idiot."

Marshall smiled. "With a script you won't."

Ron sat down, intrigued. "Tell me more," he said.

...

Right on time the girls arrived - half an hour late.

"Hey, Ron."

"Lizzie."

"This is my friend, Kelly," Lizzie said without further ado, her attention already elsewhere.

"Hey, nice to meet you," Kelly said without much enthusiasm.

"Kelly, that's Gaelic for church or warrior or something," said Ron, intending to sound deep and interesting. Kelly smiled back thinly in response. Lizzie excused herself before things got even more awkward. "I have to go say hi to Steven," she announced brightly, and promptly left them to it.

"Rachel, can I help you with that?" asked Marshall in an ingratiating tone.

"Thanks, Marshall, but I think I can manage to open a can of beer on my own."

"Let's get this party started," Lloyd said briskly, sheperding Marshall away. "Why don't we go sit down." As they all did he noticed someone was missing from the gathering. "Where's Tina?"

"Oh, didn't I say?" Rachel responded. "Tina's out on a date."

"Who with?"

"Perry."

"Perry?" queried Lloyd, clearly annoyed.

"Perry," confirmed the amused Rachel.

"What shall we do now?" asked Steven, affecting not to notice Lizzie's alluring looks and glances.

"Truth or Dare?" suggested Marshall, sticking to the script.

"No, that's not a good idea," said Lloyd, now back on track.

"Why not?" Marshall challenged.

"Okay, Truth or Dare it is," Lloyd agreed. "And my truth is: Last week I borrowed a pair of Marshall's pants and I found a video rental receipt in the pocket. It was for 'Dude, Where's My Car?"

Marshall smiled in a bashful way as the others looked askance. "So? It's a funny movie and I like to laugh."

"And did you laugh at the four porno's you also rented that day?" Lloyd added with a smirk.

The girls began to snigger and Marshall squirmed in his seat. Ron leaned across and whispered to Steven. "Was that in the script?"

"No, he wasn't supposed to say that."

"Hey, Lloyd, that was really funny," Marshall said, a hefty glint of retribution in his eye. "So I guess it's my turn to dare you now..."

"...And that was the most I've ever puked," Kelly said proudly.

Ron was impressed. "Awesome! That's ton of puke. I didn't know the stomach could hold so much."

Rachel, by now a delicate shade of green, clamped her hand to her mouth and bolted for the bathroom. A little while later she finished washing her face and turned to the girl who had followed her in. "Did you have to be so gross?"

"I'm sorry," Kelly apologised. "I was trying to put Ron off. But I should have known you can't out-gross a boy. Boys are gross by definition."

"Tell me about it," Rachel sighed.

"Okay... the truth is I didn't come here because of Ron. When Lizzie asked me I kinda hoped she... well... but then I met you... Rachel... and... I'm sorry I ruined the evening for you."

Before Rachel could follow up on that confused sentence Ron's voice boomed through the door. "Are you all right, Kelly?"

"Yes, Ron, I'm fine, thanks for asking," replied Rachel in a voice thick with sarcasm. "Guys - one track minds or what? You do realise this is a set-up don't you? I heard Ron say something about a script earlier, and if Tina had turned up as expected there would have been one girl for each boy. That's why Marshall and Lloyd are fighting over me; they're a girl short."

"And I'm stuck with Ron. Don't get me wrong, Ron's a nice guy..." Kelly tailed off.

Rachel nodded understandingly. "It's just that he IS a guy, right? That's what you were trying to say before."

"Yes."

"So. You like girls. You like Lizzie?"

Kelly nodded. "But I must have got the signals wrong, she can't take her eyes off Steven. They are so a couple, why is he pretending they're not?"

"No idea, and, to be honest, I'm not really interested. I had enough of this when she was with Eric."

"So, which one do you like, Lloyd or Marshall?"

"Not Lloyd. He's so full of himself. He thinks that British accent of his can charm the birds from the trees. Not this bird he can't. Marshall's nice, but I see him more as a pet puppy than a boyfriend. I know! Why don't we give them a show to get their motors running then leave them high and dry? It's okay, I'm up for it, that's what college is all about, experimentation... isn't it?"

Kelly's expression had already betrayed her dislike of the idea. "Yeah, for some, but for me it's not an experiment, it's who I am."

Rachel was confused. "So why so shy?"

"If the girl you liked slapped you, and your best friend, that you told in confidence, spread the news around high school like it was some dirty joke I think you'd be a little shy too."

"Sorry, that must have been awful. You want to break it to Ron gently then?"

"I guess I'll have to."

"Or. We we could just say you've got 'women's troubles' and I have to take you home?"

Kelly nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"Okay then, let's do that."

...

"Hey, nice place," said Rachel, throwing herself onto the small sofa of the equally small apartment.

"Thank you," Kelly replied, sitting down beside her.

"So, you thought that Lizzie was coming on to you?" asked Rachel.

"Yes."

"You liked that?"

"Yes."

"Do you like me?"

Kelly hesitated before answering softly. "Yes."

"And is this what you want?"

Rachel turned and reached out to touch Kelly's cheek, drawing her closer until they met in a light kiss. Rachel lingered, savouring the comforting warmth of Kelly's lips against hers, then gently broke away to await a response.

Kelly returned the favour and kissed Rachel back, thrilling as tongues met and teasingly played with each other as the kiss deepened and hands began to roam. "Let's take this to the bedroom," Rachel moaned as she rose for air.

Her fingers reached deep inside her lover, provoking gasps of desire that only increased her own urgent need for stimulation, but for now it was Kelly's clit that demanded her attention. Rachel's head worked its way down Kelly's fevered torso, heading for the promised land and the pearl of pleasure that lay within.

"OhGodohGodohGod!" Kelly screamed as her orgasm hit, the ripples of ecstasy expanding outward from her centre to reach tip of toe and top of head. "That was amazing," Kelly gasped. "I've never felt so... so..."

"Short of descriptive words?" Rachel giggled, moving up to lie beside Kelly.

"Thank you," Kelly said simply, hugging the smaller girl close. "I love your breasts," she added.

"Then eat them," commanded Rachel, and Kelly set to work at once. Large, soft, round and heavy like ripe fruit tipped with a perky nipple, Kelly spent a long time on the sensitive orbs before Rachel could stand no more and pushed her head south.

Rachel's clit was huge and hard, poking out of its protective hood, simply begging to be sucked and fucked by Kelly's nimble tongue. But first Kelly parted her lips to feast on the shiny pink flesh that would soon sheath her fingers before bathing her clit in intimate kisses. Kisses that would send Rachel tumbling over the edge many times that night.

Next morning, when Rachel began to stir, Kelly said, more to herself than Rachel, "The saying goes: it only takes a beer to turn a girl queer. That explains last night."

Rachel sleepily propped herself up on the pillow. "And?" she asked.

"You're sober now."

"And?"

"And the experiment has ended."

"Ah." Rachel understood now. "But what if I don't want it to end?"

"Really?" Kelly said, breaking into a relieved smile.

"Really. I'm tired of playing in the little leagues, it's time I turned pro. What I mean is..."

Kelly's kiss stifled the explanation. "I know what you mean," she said, and began to make love to her girl.

...

"Welcome to the University of North Eastern California..."

Ron felt someone female stop by his side but he didn't take his gaze from Kelly as she began to guide yet another tour. Long-distance love was the right thing for him, of that he was sure. "Isn't she great?" he said with feeling.

Rachel agreed with a huge smile and an almost orgasmic sigh of satisfaction. "Oh yes. She's the best!"