Title: Thanks For Listening

Author: Alan Hitchen

Email: darkmere2000@yahoo.co.uk

Feedback: Go on, make my day

Disclaimer: Popular is the property of Touchstone Television

Pairing: S/B

Rating: PG-13 (but angsty!)

Summary: Sam McPherson is making a phone call

"...When we told them about us, the others took it pretty well, but Harrison didn't react. He simply walked away. He didn't speak to us again. He didn't speak, or look, or have anything else to do with us from that moment on.

I didn't want to hurt him, but when I thought of it I couldn't imagine how I could have hurt my best friend any more. His reaction hurt me, but, to my shame, it was only then that I realised how much Brooke's rejection had hurt him in the past and that how much we had hurt him now.

Ironically, he didn't intend to hurt me by his reaction, quite the opposite, he was trying to make it easy on all of us by staying away, but he only made it worse.

And that was just the start of the hurting.

I should have realised we were doomed before we even started our relationship, after all, I'd done all the running, not her. And when the initial euphoria of new love had worn off, the reality kicked in with a vengeance, and then I knew it wasn't me she really loved.

I knew in my heart it was over long before I caught Brooke in bed with Satan. Not the devil himself, you understand, just his handmaiden. Her name is Nic.

Anyway, it was long over by then, but we'd made our choice, made it public, and we had to stick by it - or at least I did. You see, I loved her, and I pretended she loved me.

But she never did.

I was second best, the warm-up girl for the main act. We only gotten together because she thought Nic was hetter than het and Nic thought the same about Brooke.

So, when they realised they weren't - two seconds after our announcement - I was out of the picture. It just took me several months to realise it, and just a moment to find out it was true. Bitch!

Sorry, should be over it now, shouldn't I?

You know the funniest thing about the break-up was having to fend off the advances of Mary Cherry. Having got the idea that lesbianism was the new black, you couldn't stop her trying to get some. And seeing as I was the only unattached gay girl she knew...

Anyhoo, thank God for Lily! It seemed she'd been playing it close to the chest as well. There must be something in the Kennedy High water supply I think, why else would she have developed feelings for the Texan Terror? Anyway, she came roaring out of the closet and swept MC off her feet.

They made an adorable couple. Everyone said it wouldn't last, but I went to their wedding last year. Brooke and Nic went also. Satan was still Satan. But Brooke... Was it a hint of regret I saw in her eyes or was it just wishful thinking?

I guess I'll never know now. I wanted to ask her then but I couldn't. I want to ask her now but I can't.

She was in New York on September 11th. They never found her body. I thought it was for the best at the time. That way I could kid myself she was still alive, still out there somewhere, and that any day she'd come home to me, say it was me she loved all along, and everything would be alright.

Alright. I'm still in love with a dead woman who probably never loved me, does that sound alright to you?

Well, I can't kid myself any more and I think I've talked long enough. My cell is nearly out of power and the camera crew is ready to record my jump now.

I thought about leaving a note telling them why, so they could put words to the pictures. But that would hurt Nic, and as much as I hate her I know she loved Brooke, and she's hurt enough. And so have I.

If there is a next life I'd like to see Brooke again, but I have an idea if I'm headed anywhere, it's for the other place...

It's time to go. By the way, I think you Samaritans do a marvellous job. Thanks for listening..."