Title: Of Late I Think of Cirra

Author: Alan Hitchen

Email: darkmere2000@yahoo.co.uk

Feedback: Would be nice

Disclaimer: X:WP belongs to Renaissance Pictures – Universal Television

Rating: PG-13

Summary: After the events of ‘Callisto’ Xena is troubled

Xena opened her eyes and the screaming stopped, the flames ceased to burn, that which once had been the township of Cirra no longer lay waste before her. At long last, yet another sweat-soaked, horror-filled night had ended.

The burning of Cirra and the consequent deaths of women and children had troubled Xena at the time and now it troubles her even more. It has been but a few days since Xena first encountered the murderous Callisto, who proved to be her most implacable enemy, and an unwelcome remembrance of things past.

For Callisto had revealed that she was a child of Cirra, one of the few survivors, and now a deranged adult bent on exacting a bloody revenge from the Warrior Princess. Though she and her band of cut-throats were eventually defeated and placed in custody, her cruel taunts hit home, so Xena has been more than usually silent as she wrestles with her conscience.

In consequence, as they enter a glade in the forest, it is only Gabrielle’s voice that pierces the morning air with bright conversation she hopes will lift Xena’s mood.

Unnoticed, the lithe blonde figure that is Callisto emerges silently from cover, and with a single blow, promptly fells the lagging Gabrielle. Xena turns to find her bitterest enemy standing astride the body of her young lover. Lost in thought she has been caught completely unawares.

“Surprised to see me? How disappointing, after all Gabrielle was just knocked out by my arrival, but I’ll deal with your girlfriend later.” Callisto announces with a malicious glee; as with a whoop of delight, she unsheaths her sword and lunges forward to attack.

A ferocious battle ensues. Xena counters each blow expertly, waiting for the opening that will allow her to disarm or disable her opponent. Callisto has no such scruple and unleashes such a violent assault that even Xena is forced back. Sensing that victory is within reach, Callisto redoubles her efforts, and is rewarded when Xena’s sword is smashed from her grip, even as her own sword shatters from the sheer force of the blow. Using the momentary advantage gained she instantly leaps at Xena’s throat, shrieking in exultation.

“At last! This is the moment I’ve been dreaming of all my life. My family died in agony before my eyes. Now it’s your turn, Xena!”

Xena’s vigorous riposte seems to be strangely ineffective against the mad woman’s strength of purpose, as Callisto inexorably squeezes the life out of her.

Minutes pass like hours as Xena tries everything she can to find a release that will not come. Her counterstrokes become increasingly feeble as her body is convulsed by the urgent need to draw breath. The outcome is inevitable, the struggle ceases, all hope is lost, the end is just a moment away.

As Callisto viciously smashes Xena’s dead body to the ground she experiences a paroxysm of ecstasy. But even at this exquisite moment of triumph Callisto feels that something is very wrong. Why do her limbs feel like lead? Why is there thunder sounding in her ears? Why is it growing darker by the second?

In her last moment of consciousness she realises the truth. She did not choke the life out of Xena, that was just wishful thinking, instead it is Xena’s use of deadly pressure points that is fast draining her own life away. A final despairing cry of hatred bubbles from her lips as the darkness engulfs her completely. Her stranglehold on Xena slackens and she slides lifeless into the grass. Some moments later Gabrielle regains her senses and opens her eyes to see the anxious face of Xena close at hand.

“Thank the gods you are all right,” she says.

“Swearing by the gods, Xena? Don’t you usually swear at them?” replies a groggy Gabrielle. “What happened?” she asks, as Xena helps her to her feet.

“Callisto happened.” Xena indicates the crumpled form lying nearby.

“Callisto? I thought she was safely locked up…is she dead?”

“Yes, she’s dead. I didn’t want to kill her but this time she gave me no choice. In a funny way I think she won, at least she is now at peace.”

“Don’t blame yourself. Callisto was a monster.”

“Don’t blame myself? I killed her family. I destroyed her sanity. I made her into a monster, and I just took what little was left of her life.  What else can I do but blame myself? Tell me, Gabrielle, can I ever atone for these crimes?”

“Of course you can. You began when you renounced your past and chose a new path to follow. The guilt you feel is natural, a good sign of a healthy conscience. I know you can’t change the past, but you can help shape the future, and by helping others you help yourself to find inner peace and contentment. It won’t be easy, it won’t be quick, but it will happen.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“You forget, I have seen past you armour, beyond your reputation. I know the real Xena that lies beneath. You are, and always have been, a good person at heart. I would not be with you otherwise. You lost your way for a while that’s all. Your mistakes can’t be forgotten, but they can be forgiven.”

Xena is incredulous. “Forgiven? By whom? Callisto perhaps?”

“Yes. I think she would have forgiven you, if she had wanted to listen. But she was so eaten up by hatred of what she imagined you to be, she could no longer hear the truth. Others will be less intransigent.”

“I hope so, but how many others like her are out there just waiting to attack? And the next time you might be killed, as you could have been today. I have lost so many things, so many people I love, I couldn’t bear to lose you as well. What would do then?”

“You would go on without me as you did before we met”

“That is what I’m most afraid of, for I know from bitter experience that life without you would be no life at all. Hercules gave me hope that I might build a new life for myself, but before I met you I was simply existing while trying to make amends for my misdeeds. I very nearly gave up - it was so hard. You have done so much for me in so many ways that I can never thank you enough. But I am so scared that all I can offer you in return is an early death at the hands of my enemies.”

Xena is a maelstrom of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, she knows that if Gabrielle should leave her she would wither away like a leaf off a tree. On the other hand, if Gabrielle was to be killed the guilt would be unendurable. Her iron self control wavers and Xena dissolves into tears. Gabrielle is alarmed; she has never seen her girlfriend so despondent before, and acts to reassure her.

“Oh, Xena, please don’t cry. I’m not dead yet. But should that happen, I want you to know it would be a privilege to die by your side. After all, it would be a fitting end to a life of adventure I had only imagined before I met you. I could die happy in the knowledge that I had lived my dream, that I had done something useful with my life, that I had made a difference. So no matter what the danger, the choice has already been made. My place is here – beside you – for as long as you need me and beyond. I love you, Xena, and I always will, no matter what happens.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Of course I do.” Gabrielle embraces Xena, gently kisses her and smiles. “Anyway, I know you would never let anything bad happen to me.”

Xena’s spirit is uplifted by her girlfriend’s shining faith in her, and recovering her composure; she allows herself to smile back.

They decide to bury Callisto near the spot where she fell. On completion of the task, they pause to spend a moment in quiet contemplation of her fate in the Underworld. Gabrielle hopes that she will be reunited with her family. Xena imagines a grimmer destination in the pits of Tartarus. Gabrielle breaks the silence.

“You know in spite of all she’s done, I can’t help feeling sorry for her.”

“You think I don’t?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, come on, it’s time to go.”

The glade falls silent upon their departure; even the birds have stopped singing, as if they were listening for something. They do not have long to wait as a low moan disturbs the eerie calm. The shallow grave erupts as Callisto, who is grimy, dishevelled, but very much alive, sits up.

How she survived she does not know and she does not care. All that matters is that she is alive and still has a task to perform. Standing up, she brushes the earth from her hair and massages her aching neck before vocalising her thoughts.

“So, Xena, you have won another battle, but very soon I shall win the war, and when I’m done with you there won’t be anything left to bury.”

As she lopes away to find her horse, a wolfish grin shines out of her dirty face. As a portent of things to come it is not a pretty sight. She was still grinning when she ran into the posse. They had her horse, they had her surrounded, she was unarmed and weakened by the recent struggle, but given half a chance she would have killed them all. They did not give her that chance and soon she was beaten and bound and heading back to jail. She struggled and screamed as they dragged her away.

“It’s not over yet! Can you hear me, Xena? It’s not over till one of us is dead!”