Title: Me and Brookie McQueen

Series: Breakthrough (Part 10)

Author: Alan Hitchen

Email: darkmere2000@yahoo.co.uk

Archive: http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/alan.htm

Disclaimer: Popular is the property of Touchstone Television.

Pairing: Sam/Nicole

Rating: PG-13

Information: Follows on from What Made Kelly Run?

Song: 'Me and Bobby McGee' was written by Fred Foster and Kris Kristofferson for the 1970 album 'Kristofferson'.

Summary: Brooke returns from San Francisco with a new perspective on her life.

"Sandra Bullock mah ass!" Mary Cherry said to herself. "Ah know who Brookie's real fantasy is. Not that ah blame her, Sam is kinda cute. And ah won't hold it against her. Not unless ah really need to that is..."

Brooke sensed Mary Cherry rolling over and drifting into a noisy slumber but still she couldn't stop thinking of her mom, herself, and her love-life. "Perhaps Poppy had the right idea with her abstinence group. No sex. No relationship. No problem..." But by now tired of thinking she let her mind drift away.

...

The sage watched his pupil as she kneeled before him yet again. "You find what you seek?" he asked.

She sighed, bowing her head and stifling a yawn. "Not exactly."

He nodded. "There always more questions than answers. You understood her reasons?"

"No... Yes. Yes, I do."

"You forgive her?"

"No. Never."

He sighed. "Then forgive yourself."

But before she could make sense of this request she fell asleep.

...

The next day, Mary Cherry asked Brooke if she wanted to try to speak to Kelly again. She didn't so they flew home.

Meanwhile, Harrison was practicing on his guitar.

"Busted flat in Baton Rouge, headin' for the train, feelin' nearly faded as my jeans. Brookie thumbed a diesel down, just before it rained; took us all the way to New Orleans. I took my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna, and was blowing sad while Brookie sang the blues. With them windshield wipers slappin' time, and Brookie clappin' hands, we finally sang up every song that driver knew."

"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose: nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free. Feeling good was easy, Lord, when Brookie sang the blues. Feeling good was good enough for me; good enough for me and Brookie McQueen."

"From the coal mines of Kentucky to the California sun, Brookie shared the secrets of my soul. Standin' right beside me, Lord, through everything I've done, every night she kept me from the cold. Then somewhere near Salinas, Lord, I let her slip away, lookin' for the home I hope she'll find. And I'll trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday, holdin' Brookie's body next to mine."

"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose: nothin' left is all she left for me. Feeling good was easy, Lord, when Brookie sang the blues. Buddy, that was good enough for me; good enough for me and Brookie McQueen."

Emory appauded loudly. "Harrison, you are, as they say,'the bomb', but you will remember to sing the proper lyrics on the night won't you?"

Harrison grinned. "I'll be word perfect. 'Harrison sings Kristofferson' it has a ring to it."

"It sure does my friend. Lucky for us Ceasar Croutons is a big fan of his."

Harrison laughed. "Lucky for us he's desperate to promote his sea-food restaurant. Even more so now that his strip-joint's been busted. But it's a start."

Emory happily agreed. "The start of something big."

"You think she'll notice me then?"

Emory's smile faded. "There's none so blind as those that will not see."

Harrison nodded. "Thought so."

...

Sam paused the DVD in the middle of an innocuous pre-credits sequence depicting everyday life in a small Californian town. "What's the name of this film?" she asked suspiciously.

"Dawnie Does the Dale," Nicole answered matter-of-factly.

Sam's eyebrows rose. "Don't tell me: Dawnie is a young lesbian on the lookout for a girlfriend. So she exhaustively auditions a couple of dozen potentials in as many different locations until she finds the perfect girl to adorn her bed."

"You've seen it then?" Nicole replied in all innocence.

Sam pushed her tongue into her cheek as she scanned her girlfriend's butter-wouldn't-melt expression. "I guessed. So?"

"So, it was my turn to pick the movie."

"So, why be watching when you could be doing?"

Nicole grinned and moved closer. "I knew you'd say that."

Sam grinned back and kissed her. "And I know you knew."

And the film was forgotten in favour of an afternoon of love-making.

...

At Monday lunch, Brooke, Mary Cherry, Poppy, Josh, Carmen and Sugar were at the popular table: Nicole, Sam, Harrison, Emory and Lily were at the unpopular table.

"Poppy, I want to join 'Knees Together'," Brooke said without warning. The others, except Mary Cherry, were stunned into silence.

"Brooke, hun, isn't it a bit too late for that?" queried the Texan.

"No, it isn't," Poppy contradicted, smiling and handing Brooke a card. "The next meeting's today, after school."

"Only you know when the time is right - until then - Knees Together!" Brooke looked up from the card. "I'll be there," she confirmed solemnly.

Mary Cherry began to protest, but then realising that now Brooke was officially off the market Joe would be powerless to resist her flawless good looks and devastating southern charm, she said: "Good for you, Brooke," and left it at that.

Harrison could almost feel her hungry stare boring into the back of his neck but he managed to ignore it. "So, you'll be coming to see me then?" he asked his companions.

"Sorry, Harrison, I've got a shift at Cranky's," Sam replied apologetically.

"Nicole?"

"Why would I waste..." a discreet kick from Sam modified her blunt response, "I mean your talent would be wasted on me," she simpered.

"Lily?"

"If I break the injunction it's sixty days in the County lock-up."

"Oh yes, I forgot."

"What about Carmen and Josh?" queried Lily.

"If Brooke's not going they will," answered Sam. "Is she?"

"I haven't asked her yet."

"What about Mary Cherry?"

"I have a feeling I couldn't stop her coming even if I wanted to."

"Everyone has a groupie," Emory enthused.

Everyone bar Harrison thought this very amusing and were still laughing when lunch ended.

...

"Listen up," Ms Glass growled. "Today we're going to be looking at the endocrine system, which comprises the five main glands: pituitary, gonads, adrenals, thyroid and parathyroids, plus the kidney, stomach, pancreas, and not forgetting the islets of langerhans, which, thanks to the criminally low pay rates awarded to educators is the only place I can afford to vacation at this year."

A hand shot into the air.

"Sir, was that a joke?"

"It was, Mary Cherry, it was. The islets are part of your pancreas."

"Eww!" went the class.

"I knew that," Sam said to Nicole.

"Really, Miss McIrritating," said Ms Glass, suddenly standing uncomfortably close to Sam, "and how did you know that? Study perhaps? Following Miss McQueen's fine example?"

"Not exactly, I saw it on TV."

"In a fascinating documentary on PBS no doubt."

"No, a re-run of 'Sabrina, the Teenage Witch'. A teacher made exactly the same joke as you just did."

Nicole leaned over Sam's shoulder and winked at her interrogator as if to say 'gotcha'.

"Great!," Ms Glass replied, then moved back to the front of the class. "Righty-ho then, on with the lesson..."

...

Later that day.

"Am I early?" Brooke asked, looking at her watch and taking a seat.

Poppy closed the classroom door. "You're right on time."

"Then where are the others?" Brooke continued.

"There are no others." Poppy smiled wryly. "Celibacy is not that popular a subject at Kennedy. But I'm here. You talk, I'll listen, no one else will know."

"Talk about what?"

Poppy sat down. "You tell me."

"This is confidential?"

"Just like AA."

"Okay then... I wanted everything to be perfect. But it wasn't. I didn't love Josh. I was in love with the idea of being in love, but I didn't really love him. He said he loved me, and maybe he did... intellectually..." Brooke paused, considering the implications of her words.

"Go on," Poppy urged.

"We didn't have sex for a long time. He... he... couldn't rise to the occasion. He said it wasn't me. But it was. He was repulsed by me, by my body."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's so obvious I don't know why I didn't see it. At the time I thought it was because I was fat. But Josh likes fat people, people who are really fat that is. Look at Sugar. Look at Carmen. You see the pattern? He likes them big. I'm glad he's happy with her - really. Well, to be honest, not really, but I've accepted it now. That's why I'm here."

"Because?"

"I don't want to make the same mistake again. I don't want another 'perfect' relationship that's anything but. I want to be me, and happy being me, before there's anyone else. I can't love anyone if I don't love myself first."