Title: Kissing Chloe Sanchez

Author: Alan Hitchen

Email: darkmere2000@yahoo.co.uk

Archive: http://www.realmoftheshadow.com/alan.htm

Disclaimer: BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, TCF and others.

Pairings: Dawn, Chloe (friendship). Dawn/Kennedy and Dawn/Janice are mentioned.

Rating: PG-13 (mild sex references)

Spoilers: Season 7. The Killer in Me (7.13) First Date (7.14) Get it Done (7.15).

Information: Follows on from Up Close and Personal.

Summary: Dawn licks her wounds and makes a new friend.

Kennedy said I was special. And so I was. Right up to the moment she left my bed. Next thing I know she's all over Willow and Willow is Warren and the nightmare of Tara's death is being repeated all over again.

It scared the hell out of Kennedy. Serve the rich bitch right!

I felt sorry for Willow though, as now I could see she really did care. I'd hated her for leaving Tara alone. Killing Warren I could understand. I would have done it myself. But leaving Tara. Trying to turn me back into the Key. Fighting with Buffy and Giles. Trying to end everything. That I couldn't understand.

Giles tried to explain to me that most suicides don't want to kill themselves. They just want the pain to stop but don't know how else to do it. And besides, anything she'd said was just the black magic talking. Bull and shit! She meant every stinging word, every cruel deed, and Black-Eyed Susan loved every minute!

Anyway, I turned to Janice for comfort. She'd always enjoyed our make-out sessions. I know I did. She used to call me her "kiss-slut" as a joke. That's pretty much all she'd allow me to do to her - except on special occasions. But when I went for a little more that night she looked at me like I was the Whore of Babylon. No, strike that, the Whore of Babylons's less popular sister, the Pushy Queen of Slut-Town.

I knew in my heart that she was just bi-curious. She told me she didn't want us to go public and that it wasn't serious, and I was down with that. But what I didn't know was that she was already making the moves on Carlos!

She could have told me. I would have understood. But, oh no, it was somehow all my fault for trying to turn her from the straight and narrow. What a crock! Okay, so I was cheating on her at the time, but that doesn't make it right does it?

So, trying to be big, I decided to let Kennedy go, because to be honest my motives weren't that pure in the first place. Yes, I resented her trying to replace Tara, not that she knew she was doing that at first, but also I was trying to punish Willow and... and I think she's been hurt enough. I think we all have. And now is not the time for petty vendettas.

You see? I have grown up.

...

"So there you are," I said conversationally, taking a place next to Chloe on the seat in the garden for the first time since the shooting. I dumped my school bag, made even heavier by the weapons I'd hidden at the bottom, and let out a sigh of relief.

"Yep, here I am," replied the downcast Latina before lapsing back into silence.

"Not training then?" I asked.

"Kennedy said I was useless maggot so I left them to it."

"What?!" I replied, somewhat surprised that Kennedy would be that nasty to the youngest potential.

"Well, I am. I mean, look at me, do I look like a slayer to you?

I had to laugh at that. "Does Buffy? It's got nothing to do with looks."

Chloe just shrugged, then turned to face me. "I don't want to be the slayer. I wouldn't know what to do if I was. I'm Chloe Sanchez, ordinary teen, not not Chloe Sanchez, super-slayer-chick."

"And you'll be Chloe Sanchez, super-dead-chick either way." We both looked up to see Buffy glaring down at us. "Unless you train to prevent that happening. Okay, you didn't have a watcher and it's all new to you, this I understand. But the First, and its henchmen and vamps, don't give a rap about that. Do you want to end up like Anabelle or Eve...?"

I shot up to defend Chloe. "Buffy!"

"Don't you 'Buffy' me, Little Miss Let's Sneak Out And Almost Get Myself Killed."

"Well, if only you'd trained me like I asked," I counter-argued.

"Oh no! How many times, there's only going to be one slayer in this family and that's me. And why are you home so early anyway? What happened to your study-date with Janice?"

"I.. er.. we kinda fell out and now she's studying with Carlos." Oh yeah, study, that's exactly what they'll be doing, I thought sarcastically.

"Great. Well, now you can do your homework here. Now!" she ordered.

I muttered something under my breath as I made for the house. "I heard that," she called after me. So I was busted again!

...

Buffy can be such a... rhymes with witch... but I suppose she's just scared like the rest of us. I'll be glad when Giles gets back from Shanghai or wherever he is. Ken and Will are sneaking about like no-one knows they're together. The joke is that everyone does. Kennedy is not the most subtle of people after all. On the other hand, I don't think Willow likes being pushed into anything, which is why she's playing it slow and gentle. If Ken isn't careful she'll push too hard and lose her. And no, I'm not gloating, just a little sad because that should have been me.

...

I was just getting ready for bed when I heard a knock at the door. It was Chloe. "Hey," I said.

"Hey. I just wanted to say thanks for earlier."

"That's okay. Wanna come in, sit down?"

She did. "Nice room," she observed.

"Thanks. I bet you miss yours back in...?"

"La Jolla. It's north of San Diego."

"Right. Nice town?"

"Yes. Very. No monsters there."

"I'm loving it already." She half-smiled in response, but I could see the tears weren't far away. She was tired, homesick, scared, and she missed her mom. I could relate. So I sat down on the bed next to her and used a phrase of Tara's I thought might help. "This is the room you don't have to be brave in."

She looked at me like I was speaking Swahili.

"What I mean is," I continued, "I know it's hard, so you don't have to pretend to me that it isn't."

She began to weep. So I hugged her close and let her cry it out on my shoulder. She felt warm and soft and smelled wonderful, like a vanilla fudge sundae. But discovering what brand of shampoo she used would have to wait. Right now she needed me, and that was even more wonderful.

"Sorry," she said at last.

"Don't be. This is big stuff for anyone to handle, let alone a 14-year-old."

"I'm 15," she remonstrated. "Rising 16. It's my birthday in early June. If I live that long," she sniffed.

"You will," I reassured her.

"She won't," interrupted a soft southern voice. We both stared at Eve standing before us. "Soon you'll all be as dead as I am. Buffy won't save you. No-one will. No-one can. Chaos is coming. From below it will devour."

"Can it blondie!" I shouted, stupidly leaping into the fray against something I couldn't even touch. "Buffy'll kick your ass!"

"Oh, really?" said Eve, morphing into Buffy. "Unless you train you'll die." And then into Anabelle. "It doesn't matter. Train and plot and plan all you want. You'll still die. Your precious Buffy last of all. Then her power will be mine." And then she was gone, her last words echoing strangely in the empty air.

I gulped. What else could I do? I turned to Chloe, still sitting on the bed. I could see the admiration in her eyes.

"Wow. Is there anything you're not afraid of?" she asked.

I was amazed. Couldn't she hear my heart pounding in my chest like a jackhammer? I impulsively grabbed her hand and placed it so she could feel it for herself. Or at least, that's what I intended to do, but somehow her hand ended up cupping my left breast instead. I quickly let go and sat down.

"I... er..." What could I say? "I think you should know that I'm kinda gay," I blurted out. I thought I'd keep the "and I think you're kinda cute" bit for later, if there was a later that is.

"So that explains it," she said. It wasn't the reply I expected so I let her go on. "That's why you can't take your eyes off Kennedy."

"Yes," I admitted, hoping that no-one else had noticed.

"But she only has eyes for Willow."

"Yes." Tell me something I don't know I silently groaned. Talk about humiliation.

"Anyway, I think your pick-up technique needs a little work."

"Oh, that, I didn't mean..."

"Besides, I think you should know that I'm kinda straight."

Well, that was a surprise... not! If they weren't straight they fancied someone else - the story of my life. She said it with a smile, but it still hurt.

"Should we go and tell Buffy now?"

That I'm gay? Dear God No!

"About the First Evil?"

"Yes," I agreed happily, nodding like an idiot, "Let's go tell Buffy."

...

Giles has returned with Chao-Ahn. Michelle Yeoh she isn't, but every little helps I suppose. But what was with those ultra-scary flash-cards? Still... Chloe's doing better now. She even managed to take Kennedy in a mock fight today. I was so proud that when I got her alone I kissed her. She hasn't spoken to me since. Damn!

...

The knock on the door surprised me. Her words did not.

"About that kiss..."

"Yeah," I interrupted her. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I was just happy for you is all."

"Oh." She looked disappointed, had I missed something? "Because I was hoping you might want to kiss me again." Just then I noticed she was carrying her bedroll. And suddenly I felt way out of my depth.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said. I might just as well have slapped her. She turned and ran back downstairs without another word. I tried to sleep on it but I couldn't sleep. So in the end I sneaked downstairs to have it out with her, but all I found was an empty sleeping bag.

Checking the kitchen I heard a voice coming from the open door to the basement. Buffy was talking; telling Chloe how pathetic she was. Taunting then cajoling; encouraging her to take her own life. I barrelled down the stairs in a rage.

"Hey!" I screamed. "Get the hell away from my girlfriend!"

'Buffy' suddenly vanished. Then I was hugging and kissing and begging Chloe's forgiveness, promising that I'd never do that again. When I eventually stopped babbling she simply said: "You said girlfriend," and smiled at me.

I nodded my agreement. I'd been thinking about it and now I'd said it. So I kissed her again to see if I'd meant it.

"What's going on down here? I had this dream..."

And that's when Buffy found us.