Sway - Willow

Title: Sway - Willow

Author: Panda

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Pairing: Buffy / Willow

Rating: PG 13.

Disclaimers: Everything good belongs to someone else. The Buffyverse belongs to Joss Whedon etc. The song ‘Sway’ belongs to Bic Runga and her record company. I own nothing and I make no profit from playing with the characters and ideas.

Author’s notes: This story is a songfic inspired by the song ‘Sway’ by the talented Bic Runga. Set in Season 4 after Willow’s break-up with Oz but there is no relationship between Buffy/Reilly or Willow/Tara. ‘Sway – Buffy’ is a companion piece, the same story told from Buffy’s point of view.

Part 1

Don’t stray
Don’t ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don’t let me drown
Let me down
I say it’s all because of you

Buffy was sleeping when I left for the shower. I watched her, feeling like I shouldn’t but she was asleep and would never know. It was alright as long as Buffy didn’t know. Telling her would make the feelings all too real and I don’t think I could deal with her knowing. Four years is a long time to not tell someone something and now it is just a habit – I love Buffy but she can never know because…well I have a million reasons why not. Why do I spend so much time thinking about her, I need to think of something else, especially in the shower…shower, naked Buffy, oh God I am as bad as Xander. I firmly tell myself to get my mind out of the gutter and think about my literature course instead. Finishing up I head back to the dorm, wondering if Buffy will be awake. We could have breakfast before class, but I doubt she is, she doesn’t have class until later. I push the door to our room open and realise that a very awake and cutely dishevelled Buffy is standing over my bed in what looks like a panic.

“Buffy? What’s wrong?” I ask, feeling a familiar surge of dread, as I freeze in the door way.

Buffy looks up at my voice and relaxes slightly on seeing me. Still tense though, I have spent years watching her and can read her body language and she is still worried. I want to say something, to ask what is it, but I am distracted by the cute way she drops her head and runs her hand through her hair as she mumbles an apology. Displacement activity, I think, she’s still worried, beautiful but worried…the words she is saying register and I hear “…bad dream…”

“Oh, like a slayer bad dream” I finally manage to find my voice.

Buffy, dreaming, and rushing over to my bed and looking for me, what if she dreamed about me and not in a good way, but in a ‘you’re going to die’ way and something bad is going to happen and realising that Buffy is staring at me as my thoughts race I ask:

“About me?” as my throat seems to dry out and then my thoughts start to spill out of my mouth…just like they always do, I am such a spaz, but I can’t stop them

“Am I in danger, Buffy? You would tell me, right? So we could, like, prepare and you would protect me…and we have to tell the others, was Xander in the dream too, or Giles… we have to research it, you should write it down before you forget because details can be really important in dreams, you know…”

“Will” Buffy thankfully cuts in because once I start is difficult for me to shut off the babble.

Why can’t I even control what I say, always just blurting stuff out, there is no way Buffy could find that attractive, I’m like babble-girl, even in my head…and somehow I manage to stop thinking and listen to what she is saying.

“Relax, Willow, just a standard Buffy dream of the non-prophecy variety.”

She’s lying, I think, I mean she was practically having a wiggins and now she’s acting like it was nothing. I look at her for a second and wonder what she is hiding from me. I can trick her, no I mean persuade her to spill, I decide. I put on a ‘slightly puzzled’ tone of voice and try.

“Oh. Ok. Just, you know, walking in seeing you like that…”

Buffy looks away from me at the Dingo’s poster still on the wall beside my bed and tries for nonchalance:

“Really, it’s nothing.”

I am so not buying this. Buffy is so adorable when she tries to wriggle out of stuff. I try not to be distracted and attempt to ambush her with a direct question:

“So, what was the dream about?”

Buffy looks startled, as if surprised that I still want to know about her dream. She glances at me, then back to the Dingo’s poster. She seems to space out for a minute before pulling herself together.

“You know, dream stuff. We were patrolling, there was fog. You wander off, I’m looking for you, hence the wondering where you are.”

She is so not telling me the truth. But it seems like she really doesn’t want to. It must be bad. I decide to let her off the hook for now and try again later when she isn’t expecting it. I nod like I believe her and start to get ready for leaving the dorm. Buffy is sitting on my bed watching me. I watch her in the mirror as I dry off my hair. How does she manage to look so wonderful, even in her pjs with a mild case of bed hair? She looks so effortlessly attractive. Buffy is asking me something and I try to focus on what she is saying.

And here I go
Loosing my control
I’m practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn’t seem right to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed its time to tell you why
Say it’s infinitely true

I spend the rest of the morning worrying about what the dream was and trying to decide how best to get Buffy to tell me. Now that classes were over I was going to try that Wicca group again. So here I am trying to meet other Wicca’s and instead of being focused I find myself thinking of Buffy again. It is nice to have a legitimate reason to think about her. It’s not my fault if my mind occasionally wanders off topic on to such thoughts as how sexy she looks when she does, well just about anything actually. I remember the first big fight we were in, at the Bronze back when Buffy first came to Sunnydale. I was totally wigged that we were actually going to go into the Bronze even though it was full of vampires but Buffy was so calm, so business-like, about the whole thing. She hardly knew us, hardly knew anyone at school yet she was willing to face down a bunch of vampires to save the town. I noticed her, even though I was helping Giles and Xander try to get everyone out. She was like Wonder Woman, but with more clothes on. And she had been nice to me, choosing me as her friend over Cordelia. I think that was when I started to fall in love with her. I knew she would never like me, not in that way. She had Angel and I had no one. Then I met Oz and…

“Bleep bleep bleep bleep”

A phone startles me out of my revelry and I realise after a second that it is mine. I’m still not used to having one. I also realise that everyone is staring at me; some of them are actually glaring as if I had interrupted something important. I rummage in my bag for the phone realising that I had no idea what the group were even talking about I was so caught up in my thoughts.

“Hello” I say into the phone as I grab my bag and walk away from the meeting.

“Willow?” asks a familiar voice.

“Hey Giles. What’s up?” I ask looking back at the so-called Wicca’s. One of them, a blond girl, looks over at me and sort of smiles. I smile back and she looks surprised and ducks her head. Huh.

“Willow, can you find Buffy and come over to my flat immediately. I tried the dormitory and left a message there. There’s been some …er…murders that I think we need to look into. I fear that they are supernatural in origin.”

“Sure, Giles” I reply “We’ll be there as soon as I track down Buffy.”

I hang up and try to think of the most likely place where Buffy might be.

Eventually I spot here under a tree on the lawn. She seems deep in thought and doesn’t notice me as I approach. She has on her black leather pants with a blue top. Sometimes I wonder if Buffy has any idea the effect she has on the male population of Sunnydale and, if I am any thing to go by, some of the female population as well. She manages to look totally hot in whatever she wears, but when she has on those tight pants and a low cut top I have to remember to breathe. No one has ever had that effect on me, not Xander, not Oz, only Buffy. I watch her for a minute longer, telling myself I am giving her a chance to spot me, knowing that it is all for me to be able to look at her a while longer. Finally I get myself and my over-active brain under control and go over to her.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Will. What’s up?” Buffy smiles her happy-to-see-you smile and I want to melt.

Sometimes it seems that I am the only one she looks at like that. Don’t get distracted, I remind myself.

“Giles called. Scooby stuff, wants us to head over there.”

“Monsterific” Buffy responds, using the slayer punning power.

She is still looking at me and I panic. Has she realised that I am staring at her? Does she know I can see her cleavage from this angle, oh no, Buffy knows I’m ogling her and she’ll hate me, think I’m a perv, I need to divert her attention. I begin to babble.

“So, how did classes go this morning? Mine were good, great even. We talked about lots of interesting stuff…” as I witter on I wonder if she is even listening to me.

Buffy is looking kind of spaced out, like she did this morning, but more peaceful somehow. Slowly she seems to come out of it and tries to cover.

“Of course” she says quickly “Um, so spells with the girls, huh.”

“Buffy!” I say, mock stern “More like no spells with the girls. Bunch of wanna-blessed-be’s.“

She blinks a couple of times and gets to her feet. As she brushes off her pants I try not to follow her hands with my eyes. Suddenly the whole of my attention is on her legs and I imagine what it would be like to brush her pants off. Breathe, Willow. Suddenly her arm is slung over my shoulder and I stop breathing again. Buffy is saying something that I don’t hear because all I can think about is her touching me, ok well through my top and in a platonic-friend-way but still. My legs still seem to know how to work without instructions, which is good ‘cause my brain is in melt down right now.

Part 2

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

By the time we arrive at Giles’ apartment I am back under control. Thank God Buffy let me go after a while. Xander and Anya are already there. Giles explains some more about the murders and Xander reads us the report from the paper. It is truly gross. Bodies ripped open, parts vanished. Giles is already hitting the books and I decide to help. Buffy, not being much for the research, is watching. I am determined to concentrate but because I positioned myself so I have a good view of Buffy, leaning against the counter, this may be difficult. We all listen as Giles explains that we should try to match the style of the killing to a specific demon type.

“And there’s the artistry to appreciate” suddenly Anya contributes when Giles is finished.

“The what?” I say, feeling slightly queasy.

Anya is so inappropriate. She always wants to share her demony thoughts with us. No-one else is impressed either.

“What!” Anya looks genuinely surprised at our reactions “Hello, a thousand years of maiming and destruction. I can appreciate a good evisceration as much as the next demon. And I know artistry when I see it.”

Buffy makes a face and glances at me. I roll my eyes back, knowing that we are thinking the same thing. Suddenly Buffy frowns as if she has remembered something important.

“The victims were evisc…” she begins and can’t seem to continue.

“Yes, eviscerated.” Giles looks at Buffy too.

Buffy is staring at me. Oh, her dream, her dream about me! The murders and her dream about me are connected. How? Am I going to be murdered?

“Buffy?” I manage to ask “Buffy, your dream.”

“You had a dream?” Giles asks Buffy and we all look at her waiting for an explanation.

She looks scared, Buffy hardly ever looks scared. Why doesn’t she say something, explain about the dream. Buffy still hasn’t managed to say any thing.

“When I came in from the shower this morning Buffy was all flustered about a dream she had about me.” I blurt out.

I pause, expecting Buffy to explain. Suddenly I really hope that what she told me this morning was true. Xander and Anya are bickering about something but I’m not listening to them. I’m watching Buffy. The squabbling seems to snap her out of wherever she was.

“Not that sort of dream” Buffy comments tartly “I don’t think it was one of the prophecy type...”

“You were pretty worried about it. You were looking at my bed like you thought I was lost or kidnapped or something just because I wasn’t there…oh Buffy, it wasn’t the ‘or something’ was it because I really don’t want to be ‘or something’.” I interrupt, all my fears about what it could be rushing out. Buffy’s told me about her prophecy dreams before and one way or another they seem to be pretty accurate about what could happen. Buffy still seems reluctant to explain and Giles finally breaks the silence.

“Buffy, I think you should tell us about your dream.”

Finally, I think, she will tell Giles because he’s her watcher even if she can’t tell me, her best friend. Suddenly I really want to know, I don’t care how bad it is I want to know what her dream was about.

I listen as Buffy describes her dream. It’s bad, but not in the way I expected. And difficult to interpret. I mean the bit about Oz attacking me, well it sort of already happened and Buffy could have dreamed about it because she was upset about it. Or does it mean that Oz is going to come back? Do I even want Oz to come back? I liked being in a relationship with him, but I knew in the back of my mind that he was always a second choice. If Buffy had ever asked I would have left him in a heartbeat. I know that sounds harsh but it’s true. Even when I was still with him I knew that it was Buffy I wanted to be with. If Buffy had ever asked… well that will never happen. Clearly Angel is still on her mind. Will Buffy ever forgive me for failing to restore his soul in time? I know that’s why she ran away that summer. I still feel guilty about that. And then I feel guilty because I am secretly pleased that their relationship was never the same again. Buffy is quite the diaster area when it comes to relationships. She needs to find the right one. She needs to find me. Giles is taking detailed notes on the dream. I need to focus more on this, or maybe go back to the demon research. I can’t just sit here watching Buffy which I realise I have been doing for the last 10 minutes. Giles asks me if I have heard from Oz and I reply in the negative.

“Maybe it isn’t a sign of things to come.” Buffy suddenly looks at me from where she is pacing round the room. “I mean it wasn’t all vivid and stuff like my other slayer dream. And, I mean I dream about Will all the time and those dreams don’t come true…”

What, what did Buffy just say? She dreams about me? Oh my god, Buffy dreams about me. Maybe they’re dreams like I have about the two of us.

“Like the other night” she continues “I dreamed we were in the library researching stuff for Giles…”

Ooh I’ve had dreams that start like that and then we start kissing and end up making love on the table, stop thinking I command my brain as I begin remembering the latest dream featuring the library and can feel myself beginning to blush. I realise that Buffy is still looking at me, along with Xander and Giles.

“You dream about me?” I ask her, mainly for something to say as my brain is still remembering.

Buffy just nods. What is Buffy thinking? What are her dreams about? Does she know I dream about her? Oh no, maybe I’m not quiet. I’m certainly not quiet in my dreams. What if she can hear me with her slayer hearing? What is she thinking? I wish I could know what goes on in her head, like the time she could read our minds, well maybe not exactly like that what with her going crazy and having to drink the demon heart…

“Hey, I found something!” Anya excitedly interrupts my thoughts “I thought I recognised the style. Quite distinctive, really. And look, no werewolf in sight, so no ex-boyfriend trying to kill you!”

She seems really pleased with herself and I want to know what she found so I ask:

“What is it?”

Before Anya has a chance to answer Buffy has grabbed the book out of her hand and is trying to read it.

“Buffy, there’s no need to snatch!” Anya whines.

Buffy quickly hands the book over to Giles and waits for him to explain. Giles rides it slowly, his face creasing into a frown.

“C’mon Giles, what gives?” Buffy is practically bouncing up and down in her agitation.

She really must want to slay something. I wonder if she feels that somehow the dream is her fault or that she is responsible for me. I get a warm glow at the thought that Buffy wants to protect me. It seems like Anya is impatient too as clearly she thinks Giles isn’t announcing the good news of her discovery quickly enough. She is muttering away to herself or maybe Xander, but loudly enough for us to hear:

“It’s the Vernoth Triad”

“Ohh, like the demon mafia, chop socky style” Xander mimes karate moves knocking over a lamp in his enthusiasm “Oops, sorry G-man.”

“Xander!” Anya is shaking her head in disbelief “Don’t you people know anything? The demon mafia is run by the She’ath clan, at least here in the US it is. I’m not sure about Asia. The last I heard there was a turf war going on between…”

“Anya” I interjects “The Vernoth Triad?”

“It’s important to keep up with news. You never know when you might need to know who to sacrifice to.” Anya announces pompously “You know I nearly didn’t come here when I realised that Sunnydale was where Mayor Wilkinson was in charge. I just thought it would be an in and out job…”

“Giles” Buffy seems fed up with Anya’s meandering down memory lane “What up with the Vermouth demons?”

She is so adorable when she gets the names of the demons wrong.

Giles looks up and he is still frowning. Buffy is glaring at him now. Giles glances at me and then asks Xander where the newspaper is. Xander finds it and on request reads us the names of the victims. Giles reaches for the paper and spreads it on the table so we can see the pictures of the victims. I feel Buffy move behind my chair and she rests her hand on my shoulder as she leans over to see the pictures. It feels nice. The photos are standard newspaper pictures, maybe from a yearbook or something. I stare at them, one of the girls looks vaguely familiar. I try to place her, maybe from a class.

“Giles, what about the demons?” Buffy asks.

“I know her” I say quietly as I realise where I have seen her.

“From your Wicca group?” Giles asks me.

“Yeah, how did you know?”

Buffy tightens her grip on my shoulder.

“The Vernoth sacrifice witches.” Anya comments, clearly bored with waiting for Giles to explain things “When they need power to do what ever their plan is they use magical users as the source.”

Buffy squeezes me harder and I try not to wince, knowing that I will have a bruise there tomorrow but I don’t think she is even aware she is doing it.

“Like Wicca energiser bunnies?” Xander remarks tastelessly.

I feel numb, the victims were Wicca’s, like me. It could have been me. Maybe I am still a target. Maybe that is what Buffy’s dream is about.

“The Hellmouth?” Buffy suddenly asks, immediately going for worst case scenario.

“Yes, to put it simply the Vernoth came here to open the Hellmouth. However, fortunately for us something has gone wrong with their plan.” Giles pauses “The Hellmouth should be open if they have performed the ritual correctly.”

“Lucky for us they’re slacker demons who failed their research badges.” Xander tries to lighten the atmosphere.

“How do you know?” I ask.

“The ritual is set down in some detail.” Giles refers to the book again “It seems that 3 is their mystic number. There are 3 of them, hence being known as the Vernoth Triad. They’ve sacrificed 3 witches, and assuming they performed the associated rituals correctly they should have raised enough power to open the Hellmouth.”

Part 3

And there’s no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everything’s turned inside out
It’s still in so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweets in every afternoon

Buffy immediately moves into slayer mode now that we have identified the threat.

“So we need to find these guys and kill them before they kill anyone else”

she states “Giles, we need to protect Willow”

I realise that she is thinking the same as me and I open my mouth to suggest more research before she rushes off to kill them but Buffy continues:

“She could be a target.”

“Buffy…” I try to speak.

“Willow, this must be what the dream means.”

But there was no demon trio in your dreams, only Oz and Angel, I want to say but instead I try to delay her by arguing

“But you don’t think that the dream means anything, you spent like 5 minutes babbling about how you dream about me all the time to prove that.”

“Yeah, well I’m not going to take a chance that I’m wrong.” Buffy is already selecting weapons from Giles’ stash “Anyway we know that witches are a target and you’re a witch so that’s all I need to know.”

Buffy is clearly not in the mood for discussion. I want to suggest that we go with her, that there is safety in numbers, I mean three big demons that look pretty nasty according to the pictures of them in the book.

“You guys stay here with Willow. I’m going to track them down. I can kill them the regular way, right?” Buffy asks Giles, still choosing weapons.

“Behead them” Anya is certainly full of information today “You need to chop their heads off. What? I read it in the book.”

“Thanks, Anya”

Buffy tries to leave quickly but I follow her.

“Buffy, wait” I call.

“Will, it’s…” she starts to say something but I interrupt her.

“I know, it’s just…” I begin to say and then stop.

I rushed out here without thinking what I would say. Good luck, please don’t die, I love you…

“I know”

How can she possibly know what I mean when I don’t even know myself. She turns back towards the street and is about to walk away from me when I try again:

“Come back to me, Buffy.”

She doesn’t say any thing, just stares hard at me for a second and gives a tiny movement of her head and then walks away.

Once Buffy has gone we try to find additional information about the demons or discover why the Hellmouth failed to open. Anya is flicking through the pages of a book about Hellmouths and Giles is trying to discover more about the Vernoth demons. Xander decides that he needs a snack and heads to Giles’ kitchen where he immediately begins complaining about the lack of suitable ingredients. I have plugged in my lap top and have found a listing for the Wicca group on UC Sunnydale’s Clubs and Societies pages.

“It doesn’t have anything useful here” I announce, feeling discouraged “Some pictures of a solstice celebration, a calendar of solstices and equinoxes for this year, and a touchy-feely blurb: ‘blah blah womyn (with a y) empowerment, blah blah sisterhood’.”

I scroll down some more.

“Oh, this is more like it.”

I hit an icon of a little book labelled ’spells’. It opens a dialog box of what turns out to be recipes.

“Anything useful?” Giles enquires.

“Unless you want to know how to make a lemon bunt, no” I reply.

“Do they have a list of members?” Anya suddenly asks “Then you could ring one of them and ask if the dead women were powerful or not.”

“Good idea” Xander contributes through a mouthful of sandwich.

I notice he didn’t offer us a snack.

“What do you mean, Anya?” Giles asks her.

“Well, it would seem to me that the ritual failed for one reason – they did it wrong.” Anya smiles brightly as if she has hit on a point none of us had thought of.

“I thought we had established that due to the fact the Hellmouth remains closed.” Giles sounds exasperated.

“Yes” Anya continues ”But why did it fail? If they did all the business with the viscera correctly, which frankly didn’t look that difficult to me, then it probably failed because the sacrifice was wrong. Probably the Vernoth assumed that anyone identifying themselves as a Wicca had a certain amount of power so it didn’t matter which ones they choose. But clearly they choose wrong.”

“You could be right” I say “After all they didn’t seem interested in real magic when I went to the meetings.”

“But some of them could be.” Xander points out “I mean you went along, Will. Probably some other real witches did to. Did you get any witchy vibes off them?”

“Which is why you should call one of them and ask” Anya looks cross at being interrupted.

“But who?” I ask “There was no vibing.”

“Well, it was a good idea.” Anya looks pleased that she contributed.

As we all sit thinking I find myself thinking of Buffy. I wonder if she has found the demons yet. I imagine her swinging the sword she took and beheading them, graceful yet deadly. I hope that she is safe. I go back to staring at the computer screen hoping that something useful will appear.

“I may have something here” Giles finally comments.

We all turn to see what he has found.

“It’s a spell for locating witches” he says “A way for the demons to locate…um… power sources, I suppose you could say.”

“How does this help?” Anya looks puzzled.

“I could do the spell” I say eagerly “And then we would know who the demons are going after and we could tell Buffy and she could protect them. And kill the demons.”

“It could be dangerous” Giles cautions.

“It can’t be that difficult” Anya contributes helpfully “I mean the Hellmouth opening spell isn’t hard. And they don’t seem to be the brightest demons around.”

Giles looks at me and takes off his glasses and absently begins to clean them. Great, a lecture coming.

“Really, Willow…” he begins when there is a hammering on the door.

Giles glances at Xander who is closest to the door. After a second he takes the hint and ambles over to the door, still chewing on his sandwich.

“Hi..” he starts to say as he opens the door but is immediately propelled backwards through the air hitting the back of the couch. Anya screams as we all get to our feet, except Xander who seems to be unconscious. Through the door charge two huge creatures, vaguely humanoid in appearance wearing trench coats and hats. For disguise I guess. I back towards the kitchen and Anya hovers by the couch torn between whether to go to her prone boyfriend or keep the couch between herself and the intruders. The demons pause inside the door and one of them reaches into its pocket and pulls out a small box, the contents of which it tosses into the air. Giles tries to take advantage of this lull and moves in the direction of his weapons chest. One of the creatures grabs him and flings him roughly against a wall where he slides down it, dazed. Meanwhile what the demon threw into the air seems to be some sort of powder which forms a cloud and then zooms across the room to settle around me. It smells like burnt rubber. I back away further but the cloud follows me. Anya screams again and grabs a lamp which she brandishes threateningly. Somehow she seems very far away, as if the room has gotten bigger. She turns to me in slow motion and it seems like she is trying to say something but I can’t hear her. Then there is a whooshing sound and I feel like I’m falling into blackness.

It is impossible to know how much time has passed when I come to. What is certain is that I’m not at Giles’ anymore. In fact the surroundings are depressingly familiar. Broken book cases, some seemingly intact, leaning drunkenly against one another. There is the stomach churning smell of a lot of blood as well. I realise that I am not alone but seem to be tied to someone.

“Ttthank goodness, you’re awwwake” a voice stutters near my ear.

I manage to turn my head enough to see the person beside me. Blonde hair, looking terrified. It’s the girl from this afternoon, the one who I smiled at while talking to Giles. On the other side of her is a short haired brunette who also looks vaguely familiar. She has her eyes tightly shut and doesn’t look at us.

“Willow” I introduce myself “You were at the …”

“Tara. Ddddo you know wwwhat’s going on?” she asks nodding towards the centre of the room.

The three demons are kneeling, chanting in an unfamiliar language. They have taken off their ‘disguises’ and on the floor beside them are various knives and containers. I feel sick as I realise what they are for.

“They’re trying to open the Hellmouth” I decide this is no time to pussyfoot around. “They need us, our …um…blood …and stuff…”

Tara looks at me in growing horror as she realises what I mean.

“You mmmean the mmmurders…they dddid ttthem?”

Her stuttering seems to have gotten worse. Not really surprising. I am finding it hard to suppress the panic I feel. Think clearly, stay alive until Buffy comes, delay the ritual. Oh God, Buffy, please hurry. I try to push down my panic.

“How long was I out?”

“Um…mmaybe tttwenty minutes.”

“Listen” I say hoping the demons keep chanting and that the other girl is listening “We need to delay them until my friends get here. Do you know any spells that could help?”

The other girl finally opens her eyes.

“I’ve been trying to think of something” she speaks quietly, glancing at the demons “I have a loosening bounds charm we could try.”

“That’s a start.” I say “If it works we need to run. They need all three of us and if one can get away they can’t do the ritual, I think.”

Tara nods and the brunette bits her lip.

“Ok the chant is…” she starts to say but it is too late.

We hadn’t noticed that the chanting had stopped and suddenly we are roughly dragged to our feet. One of the Vernoth sawed at the rope holding Tara and the brunette together. Frantically the brunette begins muttering in Latin as she is pulled towards the centre of the old library.

“Run” I suggest trying to drag Tara with me but she seems rooted to the spot.

Suddenly there is the sound of chanting again overlaid with pleading and then a gasp and moan which trails off. I refuse to look in the direction of the sound, not wanting to see. I hear a sort of moan from closer at hand and find myself dragged back down to the floor as Tara slowly collapses in a faint beside me. A minute passes, maybe two but I am too shocked to think of anything. This is it, after years of danger I’m finally going to die. Buffy where are you? I’ll never get to tell you I love you.

“Buffy” I think I say, feeling the tears start to trickle down my cheeks “Buffy.”

Abruptly there is the sound of splintering wood and what is left of the door implodes and Buffy rushes into the ruined library.

Despite knowing that Buffy is the slayer it is always a bit of a surprise to see her fighting. She seems to just flow through the action leaving behind her a trail of destruction. Sometimes when I think that I have seen her at her most deadly, her most graceful, unexpectedly, she will surprise me. This is one of those times. I can’t even follow her individual moves. The Vernoth didn’t have a chance. It’s like one minute there are three demons committing a bloody ritual murder and the next there is only Buffy and lots of blood and body parts. Xander arrives, panting, clutching a sword. Buffy tenses then lets herself relax. I am still crying but now it is with relief. Xander takes in the scene and I can see he is upset by it, but also relieved to see me safe. To cover his emotions he cracks a joke:

“Seems like I missed the party.”

Buffy glances around wincing in distaste at the results of her fury. She looks hard for a second at the body of the brunette and I recognise guilt flick across her features.

“I was too late for one of them” she says sorrowfully and turns to me.

Now it all turns sour
Come sweets in every afternoon
It’s time to tell you why
I say it’s infinitely true

“Buffy” I say through my tears, I am so thankful to see her, to hear her voice. All I want to do is wrap my arms around her and never let go.

“It’s ok, Will” she soothes, reaching down to stroke my hair “Sorry I didn’t get here faster.”

Buffy kneels down and uses her bloody sword to cut the ropes holding me to Tara. Xander has come over and lowers Tara, who still seems out of it, gently to the ground, but I barely register his presence. All I can concentrate on is Buffy. I lean into Buffy’s strong body and she puts down the sword in order to pull me closer to her. I want to feel her, to make sure she is real and not some terror-induced hallucination. My body starts to react in all the familiar ways to hers but I try to ignore it. I just want her to know how grateful I am for her presence.

“Buffy, I was so scared” I whisper into her ear.

“Me too” she confesses.

Buffy, scared? Was she scared because I was in danger?

“I was so scared that I would be too late, that I couldn’t protect you.” Buffy’s breathe tickles my ear “God, Will, if anything ever happened to you…”

She stops speaking. There are all kinds of emotions in her voice. It’s almost as if, as if she might really care for me, beyond best-friend-type feelings. I start to press down the emotions that accompany this thought. I can’t go there, I shouldn’t go there. I feel her pull away a little and resist the impulse to tighten my hold to prevent her leaving me. Buffy looks into my eyes as if she is trying to see into my soul. I can feel myself start to tremble at the intensity of her gaze, fixed on me in a way I always wished it would be. I want to speak, tell her what I feel but I don’t think I could if I tried. She tentatively reaches for my hair, slides her fingers through it and gently pulls my head towards hers. I don’t think am breathing any more. Her lips press into mine and she is kissing me. Buffy is kissing me and it feels so intense. After a second I part my lips and kiss her back. I’m kissing Buffy and she is kissing me. Finally we pull apart and I open my eyes to find her gazing at me intently.

“I love you” I hear myself say, before I have time to think “Buffy, I love you so much!”

“Oh, Willow, I love you too” she replies, and kisses me again.

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

Sway By Bic Runga

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
Now it all turns sour
Come sweets in every afternoon
It’s time to tell you why
I say it’s infinitely true

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know all about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you