Fic: Dirty Little Secret
Author: Major Sam
Word Count: 2, 356
Authors Notes: Sam wants people to know about their relationship, but Shelley is still unsure, until a party lets it all slip.
The room was dark; a little light from the window was shone into the room. Shelley looked at the clocked next to the bed. It as 9pm and she was late.
She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet around her. Her head turned, feeling a hand running down her back. She moaned softly. Shelley had been there for the last few hours and had spent half of those hours in bed; making love to the woman she loved.
'Can't you stay longer?'
Shelley shook her head.
'I can't, Sam. I have to get home. I can't keep leaving Mia with a neighbour!'
Sam pulled herself up, pushing her naked body against Shelley's back. She kissed her neck, hoping that her attention would prove to tempting and make Shelley stay.
Shelley turned her head, shaking it.
'She’s in her 60's. And I...'
'I feel guilty.'
'About what?' Sam said, running her hand at the back of her head, softly.
'About leaving her. She's growing so much and I... ’
Sam pulled back, knowing what she finally meant.
'Spend most of your free time here, with me!'
The redhead nodded slowly. She knew how much her last statement hurt her, but couldn't think of another way to put it. She turned around complete, seeing the look on Sam's face.
'I'm sorry. Maybe if more people knew about us then, it wouldn't be so hard to find some time together.'
'Why don't you just bring her here, Shell?'
'I can't. She needs stability. Moving her from our apartment to here isn't good for her.”
Sam smiled, having a plan in her head.
“If we told the colonel, then we could have more time together!”
Shelley picked up the sheet and wrapped it around her, quickly getting off the bed, turning around.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, yet.”
'Why not?' she asked.
'Because it's too soon.' Shelley said.
'It’s been 2 months, Shell.”
“I know, we can't. Not yet.'
Shelley knew that if their relationship was discovered that it could affect Sam's job and probably Shelley's too. Even though Sam wanted to tell everyone about them, she was concerned, not for her own job, as she had told Shelley but for her lover.
'When? I hate keeping this from him. I should be telling everyone that we're together and instead I feel like your dirty little secret.' Sam said
Now Sam had succeeded in hurting her when she had tried to protect her. Sam didn't want people to think badly of her for having another relationship only 10 months since Daniel had be gone. Sam knew how difficult it had been for her, to admit to her feelings and follow her heart.
'It's true. We run around, having a few hours here and a few hours there and I don't know if I’m coming or going. When we're at the base I feel like you don't want to be around me and you push me away. Even if we have to be careful.”
'Sam you know that’s not true. We just have to be careful This is my decision Sam. I have Mia to think about.”
Shelley looked around, searching for her clothes and picking them up, one at a time.
'What are you doing?'
Shelley disappeared into the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later and heading out of the front door.
'Shelley!' Sam shouted after her.
But she was gone. Just like that first morning. Running out of her house as though they had done something wrong. Now Sam felt as though she had done something wrong, in treating Shelley like her dirty little secret.
Sam sat in her office, staring at her phone for the last half an hour, waiting for it to ring. It had been their first real fight, if you could call it a fight. More like a disagreement. But it had ended up with Shelley going home, spending the night alone with just a baby for company. Even though she spent most of the nights alone, Sam would always call her about 9 and they would talk for hours, even till early morning. But there had been no phone call last night, no contact at all. She felt horrible. She hadn’t meant to hurt her. Shelley just couldn’t help how she felt, as though their relationship was all good, behind closed doors. Shelley wasn’t stupid, she knew about the air force policy on same sex relationships. But Shelley didn’t want the whole base to know, just one person, her brother. And maybe the one person Sam didn’t want to tell.
It had been a lonely night and Sam had gone to early, not that she slept much. She couldn’t stop thinking about Shelley, about the hurt look on her face as she’d left the house that afternoon.
They had, had a romantic late lunch and spent the next few hours in bed. It had been incredible. Sam loved Shelley and when they were together they were happy. Sam just wanted to protect her. There were bound to be rumours if their relationship ever got out, people questioning her marriage. Sam didn’t want Shelley to be hurt by that, she loved her.
Sam spent most of the morning in her lab, hoping that Shelley would stop by. Even for a few hours, she’d missed her. Even missing the nightly phone calls, talking about nothing in particular, just needing the contact. After 2 months, Sam still wasn't sure what their relationship was. Were they girlfriend/girlfriend, or friends who occasionally slept together Sam had given Shelley plenty of time to figure out what their relationship was. The last thing she had wanted to do was to push her into something, she didn't want or didn't feel comfortable with. Since that day she came back from her father's, they had been together whenever they could. They hadn't been out as much as they'd like. It had been difficult, what with Sam's schedule and Shelley having to look after her daughter. Sam loved Mia and had been with Shelley when she'd been born. But since they'd started going out with each other, Sam had hardly seen her at all. Sam understood, that she wanted to protect her daughter.
Sam got out of her chair and made her way towards the elevator. She couldn't let the silence between them go on for much longer.
As she made her way down the corridor towards Shelley's lab, Sam stopped half way down, noticing someone coming the other way and smiled. Shelley had the same idea.
'Hi,' Shelley said.
They both stood in the middle of the corridor, both feeling equally foolish for letting their argument go on for so long.
'I'm sorry,' Shelley said. 'I didn't mean to run out on you last night, I...'
'It's okay. You’re just trying to protect Mia, I don't want you to get hurt if someone found...'
Sam stopped in mid sentence as an SF passed by them, trying to listen into their conversation. She waited until he was out of earshot before continuing
'I know,' Shelley said.
The redhead smiled soft, resisting the urge to touch her lover. She'd missed her touch, her warm lips on the back of her neck and her hands parting her thighs.
'We can't talk about this here. But we do need to talk.' Sam said
'Can you get away tonight?'
'I should be able to find a sitter for a few hours.'
'Good. You remember that bar we went too. It's fairly quiet and the owner didn't mind me...mind us...'
Shelley smiled, feeling a little naughty. The owner of the bar hadn't seemed to mind when they had kissed. They were only two of five people who were in the bar and no one said anything. But it wasn't as though Sam had Shelley over the table and was sticking her tongue down her throat. It had been a soft, gentle kiss. The ones that still made Shelley's heart pound inside her chest.
'We can go there and talk, maybe have something to eat.' Sam said
'I'd like that.' Shelley added, slowly moving away.
Then Shelley remembered, Jack’s party at his house. A party he had been planning for weeks. She couldn’t not go. He was her brother after all. Shelley had been a little suspicious that he was planning on setting her up with one of his friends.
“Damn,” Shelley said. “I forgot about Jack’s party tonight.”
“Is that tonight?” Sam asked.
Shelley nodded, thinking for a moment, then smiled.
“Then we’ll go together.”
“Are you sure?” Sam asked.
Shelley reached out her hand, letting herself get caught up in the moment. Their hands touched briefly before Shelley was too far out of reach. She smiled back at Sam, secretly counting down the hours until she could see her, be with her again.
Shelley searched her wardrobe, trying to find something that Sam hadn’t seen her in before. But there wasn’t anything. Not that Sam cared about what she wore. Maybe at the weekend she would buy something new, some new revealing underwear. Shelley was still a little reserved a bit shy when it came to sex. She always let Sam take the lead. But on occasion, Shelley liked to surprise her and felt that a surprise was coming.
Finally, Shelley decided on a pair of jeans and a top. They were only going to a local bar. It was never very crowded, only ever a few people in They liked it liked that.
Shelley looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She still hadn’t gotten used to dressing for her dates with Sam. Even if this wasn’t technically a date! It was a party, probably quite boring.
Sam had picked Shelley up at her apartment, peeking in on Mia before she left. It had been the first time she had seen her for several weeks. Sam could see how nervous Shelley was about attending the party, as a couple. It was fare to say that the party would include several members of the SGC, and quite possibly General Hammond and Teal’c.
Shelley’s hand began to shake as she raised it to knock on her brother’s door. Sam reached out, holding it, smiling.
“It’ll be okay!” she whispered.
Shelley took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as Jack stood in front of her, opening the door.
“Hey, you made it. You find a baby sitter, okay?” Jack asked.
Shelley nodded, hoping that no one would see her nervousness.
“Don’t just stand there, come in.”
The redhead moved slowly into the house, looking at the faces that surrounded them. Jack turned out to look at her, a confused look on his face.
“I thought said you were bringing someone?” he asked.
“I don’t think Carter counts.”
Shelley followed Jack into the kitchen.
“You thought I was bringing a date?” she asked.
“Yeah I guess. I don’t know why.”
“I did, Jack. I did bring a date.”
Jack followed Shelley’s warm gaze towards Sam, who was standing a few feet behind them. His mouth opened, trying to find the right words His guests in the living room overheard their conversation and was waiting for his response.
“I think you should all go home. Party’s over!”
Shelley looked around, watching every leave the house, the noticed Jack venturing out into the back garden.
“You go,” Sam said. “I’ll see you later.”
She leant forward, kissing Shelley softly on the lips, just as everyone had left.
Shelley sighed again, following her brother out into the evening sunshine. He was sitting on one of the steps of the decking.
“Jack!” she whispered.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, turning his head around.
Shelley knew the reason why. She sat down next to him.
“I needed to be sure. I guess I was in shock. This wasn’t easy for me.”
“I just don’t know how you could… your still married, Shell.”
Shelley stood up in front of him and knelt down.
“There hasn’t been a day gone by that I don’t think about that, that I don’t think about Daniel. But I have to come to terms with the fact that he’s not coming home. No matter how much it hurts me. I can’t spend the rest of my life alone. It’s not fair on me and it’s not fair on Mia.” Shelley shouted.
“Your not on your own Shell, you have me.”
“It’s not the same Jack and you know it. Is it because its Sam or because it’s another woman?” Shelley asked.
Jack shook his head.
“Neither. It’s the fact that you felt you had to hide it from me! You used to be able to tell me everything.”
“I know. But I’m not a kid anymore, Jack. I’m a grown woman.”
She sat back next to him, hoping that the rest of their conversation would go as well.
“To me, you’ll always be my baby sister, Shell.”
There was a long pause before Jack said anything else. For as long as he could remember, he had always been the one Shelley would go to for help or just to talk. Ever since she’d lived with him as a kid, he’d been her shoulder. Until she had met Daniel and now probably would lose that bond, to Carter.
“Do you love her?” he asked.
Sam had sneaked back into the house quietly, realising that Shelley had driven them both and had the keys to her car in her pocket. She had heard their conversation from the kitchen, the doors being open enough for her to hear.
“I never thought I would Jack. But I do.”
Shelley rested her head on her brothers shoulder, smiling as she felt his arm wrap around her.
Sam watched, finding the scene pleasing. They were finally out. She hadn’t wanted to rush their relationship. Now she had proof that she was what Shelley wanted. That she no longer felt that she was her dirty little secret.