Title: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Fandom: Stargate SG1
Disclaimers: Showtime Networks, Viacom, and MGM own ‘Stargate SG-1’ and all characters. This is strictly a work of fan fiction for fun. No copyright infringement for profit is intended.
Authors Notes: My very first f/f, so be gentle with it. Thanks to John for all his support and encouragement and for beta’ing it for me.
Summary: Sam’s feelings for a friend and colleague finally prove too much.
All the fear has left me now I'm not frightened anymore. It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh. It's my mouth that pushes out this breath. And if I shed a tear I won't cage it. I won't fear love. And if I feel a rage I won't deny it. I won't fear love….
Sarah McLachlan: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
"I remember that day, the day he took you away. Finally depriving me of my chance with you. That day you told me your news, that you were pregnant with his child. And my world fell apart. My goddaughter is just like her mother, beautiful. She’s my link to you, my love, my heart, my soul, and my life. Then in an instant he was gone and I held you tight as you cried, your tears falling against my cheek. How I love you being close to me. The sweet smell of your perfume, which intoxicates my heart. But you have no idea how I feel. How much I want you, how I love you. Tonight we’re all going out for a drink. But my only wish is to have you. I want to tell you, tell you how I feel. I want us to be together, if only for one night, to feel you next to me, my lips against yours. But I know you can never love me as much as you love him.”
“He's gone and I’m here, offering to comfort you, wanting to comfort you and hold you in my arms."
These thoughts stumbled endlessly through the mind of one of the women sitting in the briefing room.
“Shelley, you still up for tonight?” Janet asked her friend across the briefing room table.
Shelley Jackson looked up from her report from P7X111, smiling.
“You try keeping me away.” She replied, not really remembering what she was agreeing too.
In all the confusion of the last few days, she had forgotten that it was her friend Sam’s birthday.
“You remember, Sam’s birthday drink.”
Janet turned towards Sam who was perched at the end of the table.
“Sure, Jack’s gonna have Mia, so I’m all yours.”
Sam smiled nervously, getting up from her chair.
“Usual place, usual time?” Shelley asked.
“Sure. What about you Sam, you still coming?”
“Come on Sam,” Shelley said. “Won’t be much fun without the birthday girl.”
Sam smiled warmly at her friends, finally giving in.
“Ok, drinks then back to my place for something to eat,” she said.
Shelley and Janet nodded in agreement.
“Then you can have your present.” Shelley said.
“I hope it’s better than the one you gave her last year.”
Shelley’s face reddened.
“That wasn’t my fault, it was…”
They saw the look on Shelley face, turning from a happy smile to a saddened frown.
“…It was D… Daniel. He thought you might like it.”
Shelley managed to stutter his name without bursting in to tears. Janet stood, walking around the table, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“It’s ok,” she whispered. “Tonight’s just what the doctor ordered.”
Both of them smiled at her little quip. Shelley nodded, standing from her own chair.
“We’re gonna have a great time.”
“About time too.” Janet said.
Janet and Sam sat in the commissary, Janet on her third coffee and the major on her first. The doctor studied her friends face, seeing something in those eyes she’d never seen before. Something was on her mind. She placed down her cup, smiling at her friend.
“Are you ok, you’ve been very quiet?”
Sam looked up on hearing the doctor’s voice, beckoning her back from her daze.
“Does Shelley seem ok to you?” she asked.
Janet sighed, shaking her head.
“She’s been a bit down for the last few weeks. I think it’s starting to get to her, missing Daniel I mean. It must be hard for her, especially being with Mia on her own.”
Sam snorted at her remark.
“She has us.”
“I know. But it’s not the same. I know it’s not the same thing but when I divorced my husband I missed the contact. I don’t think she’s… you know since.”
“Of course she hasn’t. She’s not like that. She loves him.”
Janet shook her head.
“I know she does Sam. But it must be hard, not being able to be with someone. It must get lonely for her.”
”For everyone.” Sam whispered under her breath.
“Well tonight’s gonna be good for her. Get her away from this place for a few hours.”
The blonde nodded. Both of them wanted to help Shelley, to get her out of herself. Sam would give anything to see her friend smile again. When she was sad, she felt it too. She knew Shelley was lonely and had been since Daniel left. They had tried to do what they could, but nothing seemed to work. Sam remembered her last birthday. How they’d all been out together and had a great time, laughing and joking. That must have been the last time Sam had seen her laugh. And she was so beautiful when she laughed; well at least Sam thought so. A few days later Daniel was gone. Jack had gone back to the base and had left her to watch over his sister, which she had done with great care, holding her as Shelley cried in her arms. Sam had sat on the bed with her, watching her as she slept, comforting her when she woke crying again. Letting her fall in to her arms, gently sobbing. The thought of that one moment made Sam smile. She could still feel her in her arms, still being able to smell her perfume. Sam didn’t know how long her feelings for Shelley had taken over her. All she knew was that seeing her everyday was tearing her apart. It had been worse when Daniel was still there. Not a day went by that she hadn’t seen the two of them in a corner somewhere, kissing, being disgustingly happy. Shelley’s happiness was Sam’s misery. Now they were both miserable. Shelley was miserable without Daniel and Sam was miserable in the knowledge that she could never be with the woman she loved.
Several Hours later at Sam’s house
Laughter could be heard throughout the house, especially Shelley’s. Sam, Janet and Shelley sat in the kitchen of Sam’s house, having just eaten their dinner. The drinks at the bar had been short lived when things had gotten a little complicated for Shelley. The last thing she wanted was unwanted attention. Sam had been jealous when she had come back from the toilet to witness Shelley being chatted up by some moron who would have chatted up anything with a pulse. But it didn’t make the major feel any better.
She’d stood watching, her heart breaking as he slobbered all over her. Sam saw the look on her friend’s face and she was exactly enjoying it. At one point Sam had been close to the point of beating the crap out of him but couldn’t embarrass Shelley or herself like that. She had gotten her out of there as quickly as she could. For most of the night, Sam had stared at her. Shelley’s red hair shining under the soft lights of the bar then under the lights of her kitchen. Now they were all relaxed, having had one or two many drinks.
The major smiled at seeing her friend happy at last. All night she had been laughing and joking. That was one of the things she loved about her. Apart from being beautiful, she had a wonderful sense of humor. Well she would have to be, she was an O’Neill. Sam shook her head, forgetting for a moment that she wasn’t an O’Neill any longer and was now a Jackson. She loved Daniel with all her heart but hated the fact that he had gotten there first. All of her life she had never been so attracted to a woman before. There were those two girls in college who taught her one or two things but there hadn’t been anyone since. Not until she had met Shelley. It hadn’t been love at first sight, Sam didn’t believe in such things. But it was a gradual thing. She tried to think back about when it first started, when she realized that she was in love with her. It must have been when they were on P3R118 when they had their memories altered. ‘Shea’ as Shelley had been called had seemed so vulnerable to Sam/Therra. That’s when it happened, when her feelings for her friend had grown into something more. Shelley laughed at another one of the doctor’s stupid jokes.
“It’s been a long time.” Janet said.
The redhead looked up, still smiling.
“Since we heard you laugh.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I guess I haven’t had much to be happy about lately. I love Mia to pieces but she’s not a very good conversationalist, even with a linguist for a father.”
“Awww, she’s such a sweetie Shelley.”
“I know. But sometimes I just want to be with adults, have some adult company. It’s been a long time since I…”
Shelley’s speech drifted off into another place. She wasn’t about to tell them that she hadn’t had sex in over a year.
“It’s been far too long, far too long.”
“Tell me about it,” Janet said. “I can’t remember the last time I had a good fuck.”
Shelley burst out laughing, spitting out her wine across the table and down her shirt.
“I think I’ve had too much to drink?”
“I think you have.”
Shelley stood from her chair, wobbling in Janet’s direction. The doctor caught her just in time before she fell, holding her tight. Sam looked away
“God it was all ways so good. No one ever made me feel like Daniel did. He could make me cum with just one look.” She said, slurring her words.
“I know, I know. We’ve all heard the stories. In fact, I think we’ve all heard you at one point.”
The redhead’s grin got wider.
“I just wish I could feel like that again, like a woman.”
“I think you’d better lie down for a while.” Janet said.
“I think you’re right. I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I only had three glasses.”
Sam looked up at the two of them, Janet’s arms draped around Shelley.
“She can lie down in the spare room. There’s a change of clothes in there too.”
Shelley stood upright, still slightly wobbly on her feet, leaning forwards towards Sam.
“What would I ever do without you?” she said, planting a soft kiss on the major’s cheek.
Janet pulled her away.
“Come on Shelley, time to have a little lie down.”
The doctor led her towards Sam’s spare room. After a few minutes she returned, shaking her head.
“I’ve never seen her like that before.”
“Hmm, I know.”
Sam stayed seated at the table in the kitchen, taking another sip of her wine.
“I wish I could help her. She seems so alone.”
“I know. But there’s only one thing that can help her. So if you know where Daniel is, then I suggest you tell her.”
The major’s face turned in to a heavy frown.
“God Janet. Why does every conversation we have, have to involve Daniel?” Sam shouted.
The doctor studied her friend, just as she had done earlier that day. She watched as Sam paced around the kitchen towards the sink, throwing her wine away.
“Are you ok Sam?”
”I’m fine. I just…”
“Just what?” Janet moved around the room towards her. “I thought we were friends?”
“Then why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong Janet. It’s just been a long day and I guess I’m just tired.” Sam said, turning to her friend.
“Then I guess I’d better go. Just check on Shelley in a few hours, make sure she hasn’t been sick.”
“I will. I’ll make sure she’s ok.”
“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Janet repeated Shelley’s earlier display of affection and kissed her friend on the cheek.
Sam heard the doctor’s footsteps receding down the corridor towards the front door. She looked around the kitchen, sighing. This wasn’t the way she had planned to spend her birthday. They usually stayed up most of the night talking. But Shelley’s lack on alcohol control had cut it all short. Sam placed the glass in the sink and turned, deciding to take Janet’s advice and check on their friend.
She stood in the doorway of her spare room, watching as Shelley rolled on to her side, starring straight at her. Noticing that Janet must have dressed her when she had put her to bed, wishing that it had been her.
“Sam,” she whispered.
She moved in to the room, sitting on the top of the bed next to her, lying besides her.
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.” Shelley said, looking up at her.
“Hey, it’s ok.”
Sam raised her hand hesitantly, lightly brushing the hair from the redhead’s face, her fingers running through her hair softly.
“That’s nice.” Shelley whispered.
Sam smiled. So, she liked that? What else would she like, if Sam had half the chance.
“Reminds me on my mom. She used to do that when I was sick. Daniel used to do it too.”
The major looked away, a tear falling from her eyes, rolling down her face. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. Him touching Shelley the way she wanted too.
This was killing her, being so close and so far away. Shelley moved up closer, resting her head on Sam’s lap, her arms falling over her. She sighed, feeling relaxed, the queasy feeling in her stomach finally subsiding.
“This is nice.”
”I know.” Sam whispered, softly.
The palm of her hand ran slowly down Shelley’s hair again, desperately wanted to go further. It ran down her back coming to a stop at her waist. This was torture. Her hand was so close and she was an inch away from temptation. Sam desperately wanted to give in to her impulse. Having her lying on her lap wasn’t helping. Her body was on fire, and in a good way, the best way. Shelley felt so good, lying in her arms. Her eyes closed, seeing her hand slowly slipping between her legs, teasing her, feeling the heat that was only for her.
“Shelley…” She groaned.
There was no response. Sam looked down, seeing her chest rising up and down. She brushed the hair from her eyes, seeing that they were closed. She’d fallen asleep in her arms, as she’d done the night Daniel had left. Sam had wanted to tell her then but had chickened out. There was always the one thing in the back of her mind. That no matter how much she loved her, Shelley would all ways be in love with Daniel. Sam never wanted to be second best and had let it go. But all through Shelley’s pregnancy they had become closer and had witnessed her own ‘ascension’ in to motherhood. Sam slipped out from under her, laying her back on the bed. She looked down at her, smiling at seeing such a beautiful vision. Shelley began to moan in her sleep as Sam kissed her forehead, making the major smile. She’d forgotten what it was like to be close to her. God, she drove her crazy. Seeing her asleep, wanting to wake her, to tell her how she felt. That she wanted her so badly, wanting so much to make love to her. No one had ever made her feel this way before, Martouf, Narim, Jack or even Daniel.
Sam shook her head. ‘Poor Shelley’, she thought. Having always thought that she was jealous of her for having a relationship with Daniel, when it was Daniel that she had been jealous of. She’d never thought of him like that. He was more like her brother. Now things were different. Daniel was gone, letting her finally have her time with Shelley, even if it was only spending time with her. But, now here she was, lying in her bed, Sam being an inch away from her, an inch away from touching herself. No, she thought. She couldn’t do that, not when she looked so perfect sleeping there, like an angel. She’d heard Daniel called her that so many times that it just kinda stuck. The truth was, she did look like an angel when she slept, so peaceful as though nothing could hurt her. If anything even tried to hurt her, Sam would all ways be there to protect her and would do anything to make her pain better.
Her eyes opened quickly at hearing a clattering coming for the rest of the house. She leaned over towards the chair at the side of her bed, reaching for her gun. Sam pulled back the rest of the sheets, quietly slipping out of bed. She moved slowly around the main room of the house, searching for the unwanted intruder in her home.
"Dammit!" a female voice said from inside the kitchen.
Sam stood in the doorway, lowering her gun to her side at seeing the sight in front of her.
"For gods sake Shelley, what are you doing?"
The redhead turned quickly, jumping at hearing someone else's voice.
"Did I wake you?"
"I thought you were a burglar."
Shelley looked down, seeing her gun still firmly gripped in her hands and breathing a sigh of relief.
"What are you doing anyway?" Sam asked.
"I was hungry. I hope you don't mind?"
"Of course I don't."
"Good, then you can help me finish off this cake."
"Just let me put this back."
Sam turned and headed back to her bedroom, only to return a few moments later.
"Your just in time."
Shelley placed the plate on the counter top as Sam re-entered the kitchen. Shelley moved around, sitting on a stool next to her friend.
"Go on," Shelley said. "Tuck in."
Sam smiled, picking up the fork, taking out a small piece of the chocolate cake Shelley and Janet had brought her for her birthday.
"Mmm, it tastes so good." Shelley said with a mouthful of cake.
Sam's eyes began to drift lower as Shelley crossed her legs. Trying desperately not to run her hand over the soft silky flesh of her thigh, which was now clearly visible, thanks to the pj shorts Janet had put her in.
She watched as she put in another piece in her mouth, removing the fork slowly, licking off the remaining chocolate she hadn't managed to coax off. Sam licked off the chocolate from her own lips, wanting to return the favour for Shelley. She wriggled in her chair, feeling the fire between her legs beginning to build. She felt as though she was in hell, that Shelley was her torturer, her redheaded temptress. This was too much. Seeing her, being so close that she could all most taste her. It had to stop she had to stop.
Shelley stood, placing the plate and fork into the sink. She gasped in shock as she turned, seeing Sam standing behind her.
"God Sam, you scared the hell out of me."
Sam put down the plate from her hand and began to smirk.
"What, what is it?" Shelley asked.
"You've got some cream on your lip."
Shelley's tongue appeared out of her mouth, searching for the missing cream. A low groan escaped from Sam's throat.
"Gone?" Shelley asked.
Sam shook her head slowly, leaning towards her. Her hand reached up, rubbing the cream from Shelley's top lip. It was moist against her finger. Sam let it drop, touching the lower lip. She stared at her intently, lust and desire growing in her eyes and in her groin. God she wanted her so much. Her eyes lowered again, seeing Shelley's chest heaving in the vest top that was too tight for her. Sam moved closer, wanting as much contact as possible. The smile on her face grew as Shelley's mouth opened, welcoming her finger. Sam slid it in slowly, moaning as she felt Shelley's tongue run along it. She began to remove it, studying her friends face. It was almost as if she was disappointed by its removal. Shelley's eyes drifted from the gaze Sam had held her in but was brought back by the touch of her hand turning her face back towards her. Sam felt it instantly, the attraction, the new growing lust in Shelley's eyes. This was it, her chance. Her arms enwrapped her in an embrace, feeling her body tremble next to hers. One arm let go, reaching up her hand, brushing it softly against her cheek. Shelley's breathing became rapid as though she was gasping for breath. Sam moved closer now a breath away from those lips. The lips she had dreamed about for so long. The kiss was long and passionate. Lips touched, tongues caressing each other. Soft moaning and breathless panting escaped from both of them. Sam's hand reached up under Shelley's top, finally touching soft breasts.
"Sam." Shelley groaned as she pulled back, removing her hand.
"Ssh," Sam whispered.
She looked at her in disappointment and not being able to feel those lips any longer.
Both looked at each other, the heat between them beginning to boil over. Sam felt it, had felt it with the touch of her hand, gliding across an erect nipple, hard with desire and want. She couldn’t believe that Shelley wanted her. A deeper kiss followed, hands reaching out, wanting more. Sam broke free of the kiss, her hand slipping down to Shelley's, holding it softly.
"Come with me?"
Her voice was low and whispery, all most incoherent to Shelley's ears. She wasn't sure if it was an order or a request but followed hesitantly behind her, holding on to Sam's hand as though her life depended on it. Shelley stopped as soon as they reach Sam's bedroom door. The blonde's head turned at feeling her arm being pulled back. Sam moved towards her, urging her forward. Shelley shook her head; the realisation of what was about to happen finally hitting her. She was about to cheat on Daniel, on her husband. Not with just anyone, but another woman and not just any woman, their friend. There was no denying that Sam was gorgeous and that something happened when she kissed her. Shelley felt her knees turn to jelly, feeling weak.
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, knowing deep down why Shelley had stopped.
Shelley looked up, starring into Sam’s blue eyes, noticing that they seemed a darker shade than usual.
“Come with me,” she repeated.
Only this time, Shelley knew it was a plea, straight from her heart. Shelley’s heart pounded as she began to move again, unsure as to what was going to happen next but not being able to wait to find out. Sam’s hand slipped from Shelley’s and she moved deeper in to her room, not wanting to force her into something. Her body turned, seeing her standing behind her and smiled. She couldn’t hold back any longer, wanting to touch her, to feel her. Sam spun her around, Shelley now with her back to her. Sam’s arm lowered around her waist, hand slipping down in to her pj shorts. She grinned widely as her finger slid under the soaked panties.
“You’re so wet.” Sam said.
Shelley moaned as Sam’s hand, her fingers teased her slowly, not wanting to go to far.
“I want you so much,” Sam whispered. “I’ve all ways wanted you.”
“Oh Sam,” she moaned breathlessly.
She turned quickly, meeting with Sam’s full lips. Her body began to quake as Sam’s hand reached up, lifting up her vest top over her head. Hands roamed over hot flesh, caressing soft firm breasts. Shelley couldn’t help but groan out loud, the sound music to her new lover’s ears. A deep kiss made Shelley’s legs wobbly again.
Arms held her tightly, backing her over towards the bed as they continued to kiss passionately. Finally the back of Shelley's legs made contact with the edge of the bed, forcing her to sit back on it. She looked up; her eyes searching for the woman who was making her crazy, making her want more. Finally Sam appeared in front of her, smiling. Shelley was amazed; she’d never seen a more beautiful sight. The redhead froze, not sure what to do. Her eyes stared into the eyes of her soon to be lover. Sam’s mind drifted back to those two girls in college, remembering her own first time. How terrified she had been, unsure of what to do. Seeing the mirror image of herself in Shelley’s eyes.
“It’s okay honey,” she whispered.
Her hands reached down for Shelley, fingers entwined. She lifted them up slowly, running them along her thigh. Sam smiled at her touch, the touch she had craved for so long. She let it go quickly, seeing a smile appear on Shelley’s lips. Both hands rested on her hips, fingers sliding under the straps of her panties, pulling them down slowly.
Their eyes stayed locked together, Shelley’s concentration too strong to break. Sam groaned heavily, desperate for her to touch her. The palm of her hand began running down Sam’s legs, pulling them all the way down. Her head looked up at Sam, knowing what was going to happen. She leaned back on the bed, gazing up into those deep blue eyes. The blonde knelt on the bed, either side of Shelley’s legs, smiling down at her.
“Your so beautiful Shelley.”
Her face flushed, Shelley reached up her hand, depriving Sam of her top. Shelley had never thought of her like this before. Never imagined that she could be so aroused by her, wanting to make love to her. Hands roamed wildly across her body, teasing her breasts. Sam groaned, finally being able to enjoy her touch. It sent soft ripples of pleasure through her body straight to the wetness between her legs. Her passion for Shelley was burning inside her, making her more and more wet. Shelley lay beneath her, naked, hot, aroused, just the way she had always wanted her, well almost. Her body towered over her, Shelley’s body rising off the bed, letting Sam peel off her panties. Sam’s head dipped, softly kissing the lace that was covering the place where she wanted her lips to be. Shelley’s eyes closed, biting her lip as she felt her panties being slipped down her hips, down her legs, followed by the soft touch of Sam's fingers. Shelley’s eyes looked down, seeing Sam rising up again to her, coming eye to eye with her. The soft tender kisses of earlier made way for something more passionate, more hungry. A primal need to consume each other. Tongues fought over territory, exploring, desperate to be the winner. Shelley sighed in frustration as Sam moved away, if only for a few seconds. Her lips moved down her neck, slowly down her body, kissing, licking, and teasing Shelley till her moaning cries rang in her ears. She wanted more, so much more, wanting to feel like a woman again. This just wasn’t the way she had imagined it but as she lay there, beneath this gorgeous creature, she didn’t care. She’d never felt so much passion for a woman before, from a woman before. Sam's hand traveled slowly down Shelley’s body, her fingers rubbing against her nipple. Shelley groaned in pleasure, releasing it in short breathless bursts as Sam's mouth wrapped around them, her tongue licking them, sucking them softly.
They're bodies rubbed against each other, sharing the heat, hands roaming over hot, naked flesh.
"God I want you." Sam said. "I want to taste you."
Shelley’s lips widened to a smile. Sam's mouth sucked the nipple again as they became erect and hard in her mouth. She moaned, letting go, kissing the breasts softly.
"Shelley, I want you now."
Sam couldn't wait any longer. It was agonizing to wait. She’d waited for far too long. Wanting so much to feel her, to taste her. Shelley’s smile began to widen as she watched Sam moving towards the spot she wanted her to be. Her free hand moved down between Shelley’s legs, slowly parting her soft lips, letting the juice trickle on to her fingers. She smiled at the sight in front of her, lowering her head, her lips, her tongue towards her soft fur in front of her. Sam's tongued began to lick her slowly, as one hand continued to rub against the breast and nipple. Shelley grabbed hold of the sheet next to her with both hands.
"OH GOD,” she cried.
The tongue moved deeper, licking her harder, wanting to hear Shelley’s pleasing cries. Shelley ran her fingers through the soft blonde hair, almost forcing her deeper still. Suddenly she became aware that she was naked, then of Sam’s tongue, a finger, then another, and another, moving deep into her wet hole. Her body began to buck and jerk with so much intensity. This was what Sam had wanted, Shelley, her body, their bodies together.
Finally it was all coming back to her, that wonderful night at college when she had learned how to please a woman. But at the time it had just been sex. This was different, Sam loved her, loved this woman writhing between her legs. Sam moaned heavily, tasting her, breathing in Shelley’s scent, making her feel lightheaded. She’d never tasted anything so sweet before, so lovely. It was everything Shelley was, her essence, and her life. Her tongued busied inside her, her fingers thrusting into her, hard and fast. Shelley’s hips thrusted against her, wanting more contact. The feeling inside was beginning to grow quickly. Sam’s tongue slid down her slit, tasting more and more of her lover. Finally it stopped at her prize, rubbing against her clit, making Shelley’s body writhe in ecstasy below her. She’d thought about this so many times, dreamed about making love to this woman, but Sam had never imagined anything like this. Her fingers, long, sleek, thrusted harder, seeing the look on Shelley’s face, sensing that something incredible was about to happen.
Shelley began to shake as she reached her climax, it spreading through her entire body. She threw her head back, screaming out her lover’s name. Shelley breathed threw it, all most as though it was a contraction. But this felt so good, so perfect, so incredible.
Sam looked up, smiling, moving back up, capturing Shelley’s mouth once again, and letting her taste herself. They kissed slowly, softly, savoring each moment of Shelley’s bliss. Sam lay besides her, soft, gentle arms wrapping around Shelley as her quakes began to lessen. Soft lips caressed her forehead, watching her as her eyes began to close.
“I love you,” Sam whispered.
Shelley’s body shook in the soft glow of the moonlight that shone through Sam’s bedroom window. Tears fell from her face, uncontrollably. When she’d woken up the euphoria of her experience had fallen away making way for her guilt. Her head turned to look at the sleeping beauty behind her on the bed, then at the clock on the bedside table. 5.30 am it read. Shelley moved around the room, picking up her clothes, well the clothes Janet and put her in a few hours earlier, returning to the spare room. She emerged ten minutes later in the front room of Sam’s house, moving towards the door.
“Shelley!” A voice said from behind her.
She turned quickly, seeing Sam standing a few feet away, tying up the straps to her robe.
“Where are you going?”
“Home.” Shelley didn’t know what to say, other than the truth. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
She moved towards her, reaching out her hand, grabbing hold of Shelley’s.
“I don’t understand?” Sam asked, confused.
“Don’t Sam, please. I just have to go.”
“Please Shelley, don’t leave like this. Come back to bed, it’s cold.”
Shelley shook her head furiously.
“No. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, I…”
Sam stood in front of her, tears falling, matching her lover’s tear-stained face. Her hand slipped from hers as Shelley opened the door, moving out in to the darkness of the early morning. Sam stood in the doorway, watching as she entered the cab that was waiting for her outside. More tears fell as it drove away up the street. She didn’t know what to do and was still in shock. Why had she left her? Sam thought that this was it. That now this had happened that they were going to be together. She thought that Shelley loved her. Was she wrong? Her hand reached up, closing the door.