Authors Notes: I've seriously been neglecting these two
Summary: Shelley tries to find the words
I find it hard to put into words how i feel about you! Probably forgetting to mention how i feel every morning when i feel laying next to me and see you there when i first open my eyes.
When you first told me how you felt about me. How from that first moment, you knew that i would be in your life forever. At that moment, i felt my heart soar and felt totally confused and torn.
My head was spinning! Wanting to feel loved again, but holding back, feeling guilty.
Then when i felt your hand in mine, that soft touch, butterflies in my stomach. I still get those butterflies. Every time i look at you, when you smile at me. God i love your smile. It makes me feel that everything is okay and brightens my whole world, in my darkest days.
I'm thankful you're there, by my side. Thankful for you everyday, supporting me, raising our daughter. As her mother, she loves me. But as her mommy, she totally adores you. Seeing so much of you in her.
Your humour, your love. That look of adoration when she sees you waiting for her after school, when you get the chance. How she runs into your arms. How you comforted her when those children called her names, when their parents disapproved of us. How you even comforted me.
How understanding you were, especially during those first few months. Seeing my nervousness, when you held my hand in public for the first time or brushed the hair from my eyes.
I knew it was hard for you, feeling as though it was a sign of rejection. It was all so new. But you never rushed me. Wanting our relationship to go at its own pace. Amazed by the intimacy we shared, loving and intense. I never knew it could be like that.
I know i still haven't told you how i feel. I'm sure you know by now that you are one of the most important people in my life.
The last 5 years with you have been the most amazing 5 years. To have you love me, more than i deserve sometimes. And i know it can't be easy.
But loving you is easy, Samantha Carter. The love of my life. And i know that you will always continue to give me butterflies!