Episode 6 is here! And once again the writers are forced to dedicate an entire episode in an attempt to convince the viewers that Sam and Brooke really hate each other’s guts. Let’s see if they have managed to succeed this time.



The scene opens with Sam and Brooke sitting next to each other on two chairs. They are both covered in brown foodstuffs.
A chocolate body paint experiment gone horribly wrong, perhaps?
Inquisitive minds need to know.
But alas, judging from the fact that the entire school cafeteria is a mess, this had been the result of a Food Fight. And, naturally, Sam and Brooke are the culprits behind this fight since they hate each other so much, remember? Anyway, Sam and Brooke bitch about each other to an unseen third person. They are both saying how much the other influences them and how the other is changing her into a different person and all that.
Harsh language and no mistake.
But it seems there can be no scene where Sam and Brooke do not look at each other somewhat longingly. And yes, these two bitter foes, who cannot stand each other’s presence and can only be satisfied when their person source of evil has died a horribly slow death, look at each other and are about to kiss when they suddenly remember that they aren’t alone in the room.


Last Monday - 7:29 AM

We are in the house of Sam and Jane. Sam knows that Jane and Mike have had sex on the kitchen floor there last Friday. She tries to lure Jane out into the open and confess that she indeed had sex with Mike. Jane, however, avoids the issue, saying that nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Sam then drops a few not-so-subtle hints that she knows, then leaves. Jane looks worried.

The Palace. Brooke wants to know where Mike has been that Friday. Mike admits that he has spent the night with Jane. Brooke then goes onto a rant about Truth and Honesty and that the absence of these two were important in causing her eating disorder. Mike then promises that he is going to be honest and that there will be no further sneaking around.


Yo, Still Monday - 9:04 AM

In Biology class, Miss Glass announces a Midterm Test. Nothing much else happens here, but I thought I should mention it since this test is sort of what this episode is all about.

During a break, Harrison walks around on the school grounds with a golf bag. Josh and Sugar Daddy (who would probably have been holding hands if it weren’t for the fact that the viewers are still supposed to think that Josh is with Brooke) walk up to Harrison and ask him what the deal is with the golf stuff. Harrison tells them that it helps him relax and study better. Josh and SD leave and Sam walks up to Harrison. Harrison tells Sam how much he hates those popular jocks.
We now see Brooke and Nicole, walking arm in arm, laughing loud.
Sam tells Harrison that she knows the feeling, except that she doesn’t sound angry but more sort of sad. We can but wonder why.
Anyway, Sam walks up to Brooke and Nicole. Nicole, obviously, starts glaring at Sam. Brooke, however, doesn’t want to look Sam in the eyes. Scared that Nicole might notice something, maybe? Unfortunately, Sam did not walk up to them to do the most logical thing and kiss Brooke. Instead it appears that Mike had forgot and piece of clothing when he spent the night with Jane, so she hands it to Brooke, implying that their parents had sex. Brooke is not upset about this. She and Mike are all about Honesty. Only the Truth rules in the Palace. Mike is Honest with Brooke and Brooke is always Honest to everyone. Brooke, of course, knew what was going on, because Mike was Honest enough to tell her. And so on and so forth.
Anyway, before the girls part ways, Sam can’t help but insult Brooke mildly and then feels guilty about it.

In the school library, Brooke is trying to study, but Sam’s implication about parental sex is ringing in her head. It is clear that Brooke did not know what was going on. So, in short, Brooke is a hypocritical liar.
At another table in the library Nicole, Mary Cherry and Popita are complaining about the test because they will miss the Charlie’s Angels marathon in order to study. Now, I don’t know a lot about popularity, but nowadays teens never, never, EVER talk about Charlie’s Angels. And if they do, it’s about the movie and not about the TV-show. Anyway, the girls decide that they can’t live without staring in awe at Farah Fawcett, so they decide to steal the answers from Miss Glass.
Their theft succeeds, by the way.


Tuesday, Bio-Test Eve - 12:35 PM

In the Novak, Brooke is busy stressing out. Mary Cherry, Popita and Nicole show up and are worried about her. Nicole reveals that she has stolen the test answers and says that Brooke can have a look in order to calm her down.
Sam emerges from one of the stalls, makes it clear to the blondes and the African-American that she overheard the conversation, and leaves.

During lunch time, the brunettes all tell each other how much they failed at studying yesterday. Sam shows up and tells them that the blondes are going to cheat. She then goes on to say that their results will suffer because of the cheating. Fortunately, Emory Dick, who, for some reason, sits with the rest of the gang, has a plan. He has fake doctor’s excuses, guaranteed to get you out of any test for just $150.
Sam leaves the table and walks past the popular table, where she sizes up her adversaries. The popular girls (minus Brooke) all glare at Sam. Brooke, obviously, does not. Then the cheerleaders start whispering amongst each other in order to deal with this new development. Brooke snaps at them, but fortunately doesn’t go into another rant about Truth and Honesty.

Since this episode is about Brooke and Sam, Mr Grant has been allowed to make another appearance. Sam tells Mr Grant about the overheard conversation in the Novak, but Mr Grant thinks that Sam needs more solid proof. Sam decided to go and get it.

Brooke goes home and into the kitchen. Moments later Jane shows up dressed solely in one of Mike’s shirts. Then Mike appears in a similar state of undress. Understandably, Brooke’s higher brain functions shut down as Mike and Jane try to come with some excuse and apologise at the same time. Brooke, once again, starts ranting about the value of Truth and Honesty and makes hints that if this keeps up, she might forget new habits. Like eating.


Wednesday - It’s Morning

Not much happens here. It’s just a few scenes about how the Dead Teens Walking are having to make the test. Sam notices that Mary Cherry, Popita and Nicole are all finished rather quickly. She tries to point this fact out to Miss Glass, who doesn’t pay attention.


Thursday, Judgement Day

The test results are in. All the blondes did great, all the brunettes did not. Sam congratulates Brooke on her test results. Brooke then insults Sam about hers.
I’m really starting to dislike Brooke in this ep. Not as much as Harrison, obviously, but still.

Anyway, Sam thinks that Brooke and the rest of the cheerleaders cheated on the test. She enlists Harrison to find out more inside information by playing caddie for Josh and Sugar Daddy. Harrison agrees.

Josh and Sugar Daddy play golf, thanking Harrison for the ‘golf-is-relaxing-tip’. Anyway, as they play golf, Josh reveals that he got an A on the test. HUH? An A? How the Hell did he do that? All the previous episodes clearly indicated that he’s just a little bit brighter than Forest Gump and now he got an A? Anyway, Sugar Daddy reveals that he got a B and that he cheated to get it. He says he got the answers from Nicole. Josh is mad at SD for cheating, then wants to know if Brooke cheated as well. Harrison is smiling with sinister glee since he got it all on tape.


Friday, Word, T.G.I.F

Sam walks up to Harrison and asks him for the tape. Harrison refuses to give it to Sam, saying that Josh and SD didn’t say anything about the test. Sam doesn’t believe him. Harrison then snaps at her and leaves to hang out with SD. Sam sees this, breaks into Harrison locker and gets the tape.

Josh walks up to Brooke and asks her if she cheated. Brooke freaks, saying that, although Mike is not Honest, she is. Then she starts to freak some more, hyperventilates and passes out.


Another Manic Monday

Sam walks up to Mr Grant, saying that she’s got the article and the proof to back it up. Mary Cherry overhears this.

The blonde are frantically discussing damage control. Brooke looks fairly worried, but the others assure her that she’s got nothing to worry about. Brooke’s Honest, remember?

Over at the unpopular table, Sam brags a little about her article, saying that the cheaters will be revealed and that, as a result, the grading scale will be readjusted which will give them and the rest of the non-cheaters fairly decent results.
Harrison, Josh and Sugar Daddy enter, talking to each other. Sam walks up to them. She wants Harrison’s permission to print the article. Harrison ignores Sam, however, since he’s busy hanging out with his new friends.
Sam, pissed off, storms off and gives Mr Grant permission to print the article.

In the Novak, Sam tells Brooke about the article. After a few more insults Brooke suddenly begs Sam not to print the thing. Sam agrees not to print the article if Brooke admits that she’s a hypocritical liar. Brooke, doing her first Honest thing in the entire episode, admits that she’s a hypocritical liar.
Brooke sits down, then breaks down. In a stream of tears she confesses that she took the answers out of Nicole’s locker and cheated. Seeing Brooke like this touches a soft spot in Sam and she hears Brooke out. Brooke opens up completely to her most hated enemy, pouring her heart out about everything that’s currently wrong in her life. Sam is obviously moved by this, then asks Brooke why she’s telling all of this. Brooke then says that Sam is the only person in the entire world who understands her and who knows what she’s going through. In short, Brooke needs Sam.
Sam, realising this, promises that she won’t print the article. Brooke then says that Sam should print the article, because crime has to be punished after all. Sam then says that Brooke’s suffered enough already and that she won’t print the article.
I don’t think I have to tell you how much this scene was filled with both sexual tension and honest love.

Sam races towards the guy who prints the Zapruder Reporter. True to her word, she asks if she can remove her article. Unfortunately, she’s too late. That idiot Mr Grant decided that the cheating story was very important and had to be printed immediately, without the usual delay.
Sam both despairs and is wrecked with guilt as she realises that she has just messed up big-time.


Tuesday, Bloody Tuesday

Remember last time when Sam wanted to fight injustice and right a wrong? Exactly, everybody got mad at her. And today is no different. Popita, Nicole and Mary Cherry are all shooting daggers at Sam and the rest of the population isn’t very happy with her either.

Josh and Sugar Daddy confront Harrison, wanting to know where Sam got that information. Josh and Harrison then start fighting. The physical kind, not the verbal kind. Sam steps in and breaks the two apart. Now either Sam is really strong or Josh and Harrison are complete sissies. Possibly both.
Anyway, Josh and SD leave. God has apparently decided to answer my prayers, because Harrison never wants to talk to Sam again.

Brooke is in the Novak, an emotional wreck and almost to far gone for professional therapy. Nicole enters and tries to console Brooke to the best of her abilities. Brooke confesses that she cheated on the test and says that Sam has used her to get the information for her article.
We all know this isn’t true, but the fact that Brooke seems to believe this might put a strain on their relationship.

In Biology class, Sam seems desperate in her attempts to apologise to Brooke. Brooke however, has just experienced an emotional shut-down and insults Sam. Miss Glass moves in with a copy of the Zapruder Reporter in her hand. She knows that there was one, possibly more, blonde cheerleader cheater. She says that, if nobody comes forward, everybody gets an F. She then lays the pressure on Brooke. Brooke is busy collapsing and falling apart. Sam sits next to her, helpless and despairing.
Brooke is about to confess when, in a moment of integrity, Nicole steps forward and admits that she cheated. On Glass’ question if there were any other cheaters Mary Cherry is suspiciously quick to say that there aren’t any. Nicole picks up on this.

Principal Cecilia Hall is mad at Nicole. Nicole is unmoved by this, saying that it’s no big deal that she cheated since, after all, everybody in the entire world cheats in one way or the other. Principal Hall understands this and forbids Nicole to cheerlead during next week’s Homecoming game.

During lunch break, Nicole is giving Popita and Mary Cherry the silent treatment. Popita tries her very best to apologise. She even offers Nicole an opportunity to insult her looks, outfit, whatever. Mary Cherry, the Good Christian Texan, also feels sorry for Nicole, then says that she deserved it because Cheaters Never Win.

Meanwhile, Sam tries to get Harrison to talk to her. I can’t see why, but then, I think Harrison’s a bastard after all. Fortunately, Harrison is still not willing to talk to Sam, but he is willing to fight with her. The ‘arguments’ Harrison uses are preposterous, untrue and make no sense whatsoever. In an attempt to shut him up, Lily throws a bun at Harrison. Harrison responds by throwing a bun at Sam. Sam then reaches for a cupcake and throws it at Harrison.
She hits Brooke.
Sam hides her face in her hands, feeling guilty and very sorry. Brooke decides to act like a total bitch, insults Sam and smears ketchup all over her. Sam then throws either cola or chocolate milk in Brooke’s face.
Emory Dick declares an official Food Fight, then hides under the table.
So, everyone throws food at each other and have great fun. Brooke and Sam are actually laughing, but even through all the silliness Sam still knows that Brooke’s balancing on the edge of a cliff, so she takes this opportunity to feed Brooke as much as she can.



So, having now told the story, Principal Hall, Mike and Jane understand how the food fight came into being. They now probably also know about all the cheaters. Anyway, while Sam and Brooke are busy drowning in each other’s eyes, Mike and Jane admit that they are partially guilty in all of this and are going to do something about it.

At the Palace, Mike and Jane talk. Sam and Brooke are sitting next to each, opposite of their parents. Their arms are folded across their chests because that looks more impressive. Otherwise they’d probably be holding hands. Jane and Mike express a fond hope that Brooke and Sam can be friends.
Sam and Brooke, sworn enemies to the end, band together.
“Sam, side with here. That is never going to happen. Tell them.”
“Brooke’s right. We have a firm commitment.”
But alas, the parentals are actually listening, so Sam has to add:
“To disliking each other.”
Then Mike and Jane decide to spring the news that next week the McPhersons are going to move in with the McQueens.
As the screen starts to fade to black, Sam and Brooke look at each. What is it that is written on their faces? Fear? Despair? Hope? Love? All of the above?


Tune in next week when Sam moves in with Brooke. Will everything go smoothly? Will the Homecoming game continue without any of the cheerleaders? And what about the musical? It was the same day as the game, after all.
Find out all this and more, next week.

Section 7 Jos Mous Popular Main Index