Title: A Dimensional Christmas
Author: Jos Mous
RATING: PG, maybe PG-13
PAIRING: Sorry, can't tell. That would spoil it.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of these characters, I'm not making any profit out of this, blahblahblah.
NOTE: It's a Christmas fic. Enough said.
Everything had to be perfect. It just had to be. It was their very first Christmas dinner together and Brooke wanted it to be nothing less than perfect. Sam, on the other hand, didn't seem very worried. Then again, Sam never seemed very worried.
So, as Brooke was looking for candles and keeping an eye on the turkey Sam casually sauntered in and out of the kitchen and calmly set the table.
Brooke eventually found some candles, but that was not enough.
"Matches." She suddenly said, rather panicked. "Where are the matches?"
"Relax honey." Sam said, embracing Brooke from behind and in doing so calming her down quite a bit. "Matches are already on the table."
"Candlesticks?" Brooke asked.
"Those too." Sam said. "Come on, relax. Everything's going to be alright, OK?"
"Sam, think for a moment."
Sam thought for a moment.
"OK, so there may be a few bumps, but in the end it's all going to work out fine."
"You think so?" Brooke asked.
"I know so." Sam said and briefly kissed Brooke on the cheek. "Now, why don't you go look at the turkey again or something?"
Brooke went to check up on the turkey again. Sam quickly went to search for candlesticks.
The bell rung for the first time about half an hour later.
"Sam? Can you get it?" Brooke asked from the kitchen.
Sam, still her very calm self, got up from the couch and walked over to the front door. She opened the door and smiled at her visitors.
"Hey Sam, Brooke." She said.
"Hi." Sam and Brooke greeted simultaneously.
"Come in." Sam offered.
Sam and Brooke entered and, after they had hung up their coats, Sam led them to the living room.
"Brooke! Sam and Brooke are here!" Sam yelled.
"Which ones?" Brooke yelled back from the kitchen.
"You know, the ones from Planet!"
Sam smiled and looked back at her guests again. Sam and Brooke looked around, amazed.
"Never thought Earth would've looked like this." Sam said.
"Well, what did you expect?" Sam asked.
"I dunno. Redder."
"Never mind." Sam said. "So, when's dinner?" She asked, changing the subject.
"I don't know." Sam answered. "Brooke's doing the cooking. I'm just playing the host. Please, sit down."
Sam and Brooke sat down, still looking around at the rather wondrous place they now found themselves in.
"Can I get you anything?" Sam asked.
"What do you have?" Brooke asked.
"Nothing you'd probably know." Sam answered, smiling. "Why don't I get something we like? I think you might like it as well."
As Sam was busy getting her guests something to drink the doorbell rang again.
"Damn." Sam muttered.
"Don't worry!" Someone shouted from the living room. "I got it."
Brooke, who from now on shall be known as Planet-Brooke for convenience, made her way to the door and opened it.
Sam and Brooke were standing on the porch. They smiled friendly, but something about them made Planet-Brooke's skin crawl.
"Hi." Planet-Brooke greeted, strangely nervous.
"Hey." Sam said. "Can we come in?"
Sam and Brooke tried to get past the threshold, but found they couldn't get past it.
"You're one of the guests, huh?" Sam asked.
"Yeah." Planet-Brooke answered. "Why?"
"We're vampires." Brooke said.
"Vampires?" Planet-Brooke asked confused.
"You must be the extra-terrestrial one." VampSam said.
"Great." VampSam said. "Get one of the hosts over here, will you?"
That proved to be unnecessary, since Sam suddenly appeared in the hallway.
"Sam, Brooke. Hi." She said again.
The two vampires smiled faintly in greeting.
"Please, come in."
VampSam and VampBrooke entered.
"Wait, can you only come in when you're invited?" Planet-Brooke asked, closing the door.
"That's how it works." VampSam said.
"And remember," Sam said seriously. "No biting."
"Wouldn't dream of it." VampSam said, smiling darkly. "Unless they asked nice, of course."
"You bite people?" Planet-Brooke asked.
"God, you really don't know anything about us, do you?" VampBrooke asked, more amused than angry. "This could get fun."
"Guys." Sam said threateningly.
"Only joking." VampBrooke said. "Come on," She said to Planet-Brooke. "We'll fill you in on all the details."
The two vampires and the Data Angel disappeared into the living room. Sam made her way to the kitchen where Brooke was busy preparing something or the other.
"You know," Sam said. "Inviting the vampires might have been a bit of a mistake."
"Well, don't worry." Brooke said. "They're not going to try anything."
"I wouldn't be too sure." Sam said.
"Well, even if they are, back-up should be arriving any moment."
The doorbell rang.
"And that would be them. Get that, will you?"
Sadly, it was not the back-up, but Sam was nonetheless happy to see them.
"Hi Sam, Ruto." Sam greeted, wondering briefly how many more times she would have to greet herself.
"Hi." Vacation-Sam said as she walked inside.
"Why isn't Brooke with you?" Sam asked.
"The poor thing fell ill." Ruto said. "But she's being looked after." She added smiling.
"Yeah, I'll bet." Sam said. Then she got a little more serious. "The vampires are already here, so be careful."
"So they showed, huh?" Vacation-Sam asked. "Damn. I was kinda hoping they stayed away."
"Sam, it's not nice to judge people based on whether they're alive or not." Ruto accused playfully.
As Sam, Vacation-Sam and Ruto entered the living room the could see Planet-Sam, Planet-Brooke, VampSam and VampBrooke talking enthusiastically with each other. Unfortunately they could not see who was who.
"Hey guys." Sam said. "Meet Sam and Ruto."
"Ruto?" One of the Sam's said. "I ate a girl named Ruto once."
"Me too." Vacation-Sam said. "More than once even." The remark might have been considered to be massively inappropriate, but she couldn't help herself.
Vacation-Sam and Ruto sat down and soon joined the discussion about Earth VS Planet. Naturally Vacation-Sam and Ruto sided with VampSam and VampBrooke in their heated defence of Earth.
Sam leaned back against the wall, satisfied. The vampires were behaving and nobody really seemed to notice that they were vampires.
However, Sam was unable to really take part in the comfortable situation that had developed in the living room since the doorbell rang once again.
Sam opened the door to see four people. One of them was dressed in chain mail armour and carried a sword. Of course, that wasn't all that strange since another one had a tail.
"Hello Sam." Sam greeted. "Or should I say 'Lord Sam'?"
"Oh, come on." Lord Sam whined. "I was kinda hoping people would stop calling me that when I got here."
"Liar." Lady Brooke said smiling. "You don't mind it one bit."
"Well, not any more." Lord Sam said. "Oh, this our daughter, Jessica." She said, indicating the girl without a tail. She seemed to be around Sam's age. Of course, Lord Sam and Lady Brooke seemed to be just a little older than her too. Sam decided not think too much about minor technicalities like that, however.
"And this is her girlfriend, Cassandra." Lady Brooke said, indicating the girl with the tail.
"Please, come in, come in." Sam said, ushering the four of them inside.
As Sam entered the living room with her four recently arrived guests everything went silent and people started staring.
Cassandra rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know. I'm half-dragon. So please stop staring."
"I wasn't looking at you." Planet-Sam said smiling. "I was looking at Brooke. I never knew she would look so hot in a medieval dress."
It was the right thing to say. The ice was broken and nobody minded Cassandra any more. After all, there were two vampires, drinking the blood of pigs and chatting happily with themselves from outer space. A half-dragon could hardly be considered a surprise.
The doorbell rang one more time that night and Sam suddenly found herself very nervous. The vampires behaved. Sure, they occasionally made remarks about torturing and killing people, but it was all in good fun. In a strange and twisted way, but still. Now, however Sam opened the door for two werewolves, an almost-vampire and an angel. Sam feared that conflict was imminent.
Samís fear seemed to be affirmed since everything got silent _again_ when she entered with her guests. This time, however, it were only the vampires that got silent. Everyone else looked a little confused. WereSam and WereNicole growled lowly. Angel-Brooke's wings started shifting around under her sweater.
Things were tense, to say the least.
"Dinner is served." Brooke said, as she entered the living room.
Everyone quickly got up and rushed towards the dinner table. Well, everyone except the two vampires, the two werewolves and the angel. They were walking quite slowly and were eyeing each other suspiciously.
"Things are not looking good." Lily muttered to Sam.
Ripping sounds could be heard from under Angel-Brooke's sweater as her wings were struggling for release.
"Really not good." Lily said.
Dinner did not go as expected. Everyone was well aware of the pressing silence. There were a few forced attempts at light-hearted conversation, but they quickly died down again. After a while Brooke couldn't take it any more. She stood up and slammed her hands on the table.
"Alright, that's it!" She yelled. "I did not work all day in the kitchen, worrying about everything to have everything ruined just because werewolves and vampires don't get along!"
Vampires and werewolves alike flinched away from Brooke's fury.
"Do you know how much trouble Sam and I had to go through to arrange all of this?" Brooke continued. "Because in _our_ world magic and inter-dimensional traffic are not as simple as in some other worlds."
"Inter-dimensional traffic is never simple." Lord Sam said. "Trust me, I speak from experience. Once, I jumped between two different timelines, which, in a way are two different dimensions as well and I'm still trying to figure out what exactly had happened."
"Really?" Ruto asked, seeing a way to relieve some of the tension. "What happened?"
"Well, once upon a time there was this little twit, who..."
And as Lord Sam started telling her tale the tension started to flow away from the table and everything got a lot more enjoyable. At some point the vampires and the werewolves traded a few jokes, momentarily forgetting that they were supposed to hate each other.
But it were the two from Planet who really amazed everyone with their stories of mindworms, war, aliens and a sentient planet. Nobody believed them, of course, but they sure knew how to tell a good story.
Vacation-Sam and Ruto kept rather quiet, however. They ate in relative silence and mainly kept looking at each other the entire night.
After dinner everyone migrated back into the living room, talking about things that didn't really matter all that much.
"Say Brooke," VampSam started. "You're an angel, tell me: Is there a God?"
"Oh yes." Angel-Brooke answered.
"Damn." VampSam muttered. "So those nutty Christians are right?"
"I didn't say that." Angel-Brooke said.
"So they were wrong?" VampSam asked with considerable delight.
"I didn't say that either."
"Then what _did_ you say?"
"I'm not allowed to tell." Angel-Brooke said smiling.
"So, this is where you live." Ruto said.
"Yeah. I'm sorry you had to travel to another dimension to see it."
"I'm not. I'm just glad I got to see it anyway."
Vacation-Sam smiled. "God, I love you."
"Love you too."
"OK, enough already!" WereNicole shouted. "If you two get any more fuzzy I'm gonna puke."
"Nicole, it's not my fault you can't deal with genuine emotions." Vacation-Sam said.
"Oh, I can deal with emotions." WereNicole said. "It's just that I can't deal with other people kissing my Sammy."
"Aw, do I hear some jealousy?" WereSam said teasingly, leaning in to WereNicole.
"Of course not." WereNicole said. "After al, I already have you, don't I?"
"OK, enough already!" Ruto shouted. "If you two get any more fuzzy I'm gonna puke."
"No, no, it's not that." Lord Sam explained carefully. "I am not an absolute ruler."
"But, everyone has to do what you tell them to do, right?" Sam asked.
"Well... yes... but it's still not the same. I try to do what is best for my people."
"So? Caesar did so too. And he was sort of a dictator."
"Who?" Lord Sam asked.
"Oh no." Lily said. "Pig's blood is no good."
"Really?" VampBrooke asked.
"Yes, really." Lily said. "If you want some quality blood you should have horse. Horse is delicious."
"I can't believe I'm hearing what I'm hearing."
"Hey, I almost got turned into a vampire. It's really hard to stay vegetarian when the only thing you can consume is blood."
"Good point, I suppose."
"And besides, I don't drink people."
"Me neither." VampBrooke said smiling. "I just take whatever leaks out of them."
"Huh?" Lily cleverly remarked.
"I always play with my food, unless I'm really hungry." VampBrooke explained. "And usually they start to leak during the process."
"I don't think I like where this is going." Lily said darkly.
"There's nothing nicer than cutting open someone just a little and drink the fear that comes out of the fresh wound."
"Oh, I REALLY did not want to hear that!"
Five hours later the front door closed and the guests were gone. Brooke leaned against the door and sighed in relief.
"Glad they're gone?" Sam asked.
"Well, not glad. Not exactly. It's just, it's been a pretty tiring night."
Sam smiled mischievously and slowly walked closer to Brooke, almost pressing her body against hers, almost touching her lips with her own.
"So I guess you're really tired now." Sam whispered huskily.
Brooke stared at the unspoken challenge in Sam's eyes. She leaned forward and hooked a finger under the black strip around Sam's neck.
"Come with me." She said as she headed for the stairs.
Sam smiled. "Yes, Mistress."
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