Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Category: Drama, Angst

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: Stargate and characters are the property of MGM, Gekko, etc. Mainly you need to know no one with the name of Geonn owns the deed to these people.

Dedicated to: lab_brat, who helped me rediscover/find this story. Thanks!! I won't let it get lost again. It's posted here, Gateworld and ff.net, so I think it's safe. *G*

Credit: Title picture created by Hl.

Spoilers: "Last Stand," "Summit," "Meridian"

Summary: Her oath was "first do no harm." How does that apply to war?

It started so simply. So inane, so common, so every-day... so how could it become so life-changing so fast?

Janet Fraiser sat in her office with the lights off, her face illuminated by the computer screen on her desk. Right there, in flickering blue and white, glowed the answer to their prayers. She sighed and leaned forward, rubbing her face as she looked over her calculations one more time.

The first step had been Teal'c. He had returned from a mission with, of all things, an upset stomach. She had examined him and found a semi-harmless bug had gotten into his system. Humans weren't affected by it; the rest of SG-1 had passed their post-mission exams with flying colors. Teal'c's symbiote was apparently the target of the infection. She'd admitted him to the infirmary, just to be on the safe side, and proceeded to make sure the bug didn't get too much worse before it got better. After that, due to the everyday rush of the infirmary, she had almost completely forgotten he was there.

A few hours had passed when the orderlies came running to find her. Apparently, Teal'c was convulsing violently, clutching his stomach. Janet had managed to get him stabilized and discovered the virus had tripled in size. Once Teal'c was out of danger - and highly sedated - Janet had briefed SG-1 and General Hammond on the Jaffa's condition. SG-1 had immediately returned to the planet to try to find what had caused the illness.

Janet shuffled her folders and turned off the computer monitor, dropping the room into total darkness. She carried her findings out into the infirmary, pausing only to glance in Teal'c's direction. He was healing nicely, the protozoan creature causing his illness killed by several well-timed doses of medication. They performed minor surgery to remove the remains of the creature that caused the virus from Teal'c's larvae, examining it under the microscope to determine if it could prove harmful to humans.

That's when she discovered The Property.

The Property... that's how it had been phrased when her findings were sent to the Pentagon. The Property that sought out and latched onto a symbiote. The Property that then began to eat away at the flesh of the symbiote. The Property that, for all intents and purposes, signalled the end of the war against the Goa'uld.

She had immediately began a study of the protozoan, trying to figure out why it had made Teal'c so sick. It didn't take her long to discover the virus the creature injected into a host body. With the single, minute injection, the virus immediately sought out any sign of Goa'uld infestation. Judging by the reaction in Teal'c, the virus took two or three hours to find and get to the symbiote. After that, there was an unknown window between the manifestation of symptoms and death.

When she had told the General of this disease, his eyes had lit up. She had been horrified to see he was anxious to see the computer simulations of the virus. She had argued the moral dilemma of slaughtering all Goa'uld and Jaffa, yet had been silenced when he asked what she thought they had been doing. "The entire point of this venture," he had lectured, "has been to develop a way to stop the Goa'uld once and for all." He'd held up the file folder and said, "You've just delivered the means, Doctor. Congratulations."

Dejected, she had returned to her office to contemplate her position on this. On the one hand, it was a priceless opportunity to end the slaughter once and for all. No more fighting the Goa'uld... the SGC would be primarily an exploration unit. Sam would be out of constant danger - a huge plus in Janet's eyes since they were, in effect, raising a child together.

And how could she justify not using it? How could she defend herself if she threw away this chance? Every Goa'uld-related death to come through this place - every officer who got blended, every soldier downed by a staff blast - all those deaths would be on her head. As opposed to the deaths of an entire race, evil as they might be? Did that make it right? "We're good, they're evil, so let's go wipe them out of existence because they're trying to do it to us."

Tired of looking at the results of their testing and simulations, she headed out of the infirmary and towards the elevators. Her plan had been to go home and sleep on it, but something made her hit the button for Level 22, where the commissary was located. She hadn't eaten since Teal'c had been brought in, and that realization made her stomach growl plaintively.

The commissary was surprisingly crowded for being after midnight. SG teams Three, Four and Six had all returned in a relatively short space of time about an hour or two earlier. Doctor Warner had seen to their post-mission exams and they were now probably trying to get reacclimated to Earth time. Another usual sight for middle of the night snack sessions was pushed into the corner, her nose buried in a notebook.

Janet grabbed a tuna sandwich and a pint of whole milk, grabbing a glass of blue Jello at the last moment before she turned and headed for her friend's table. "This seat taken?" she asked.

Sam looked up and smiled. "Hey, Janet. No, please, sit." She closed the notebook and pushed her work aside... someone alert the national press, Samantha Carter took a break. Janet folded and popped open the top of her milk, taking a quick swallow before unwrapping the cellophane on her sandwich. Sam glanced at the tray, her eyes widening when she saw the dessert. "Blue Jello?" she asked. "They... didn't have any earlier."

Janet chuckled and handed Sam the glass. "I noticed you didn't have one. Enjoy."

Sam grinned broadly and picked up a spoon, immediately digging into the gelatin. "So, working on anything interesting?"

The tension rolled back in, settling between the doctor's shoulder blades. She picked up half of the sandwich, turning the triangle of bread in her hands. "Uh... the virus," she finally said, taking a bite of her lunch.

"Oh, any progress?" Sam asked, reaching across the table and snatching the other half of Janet's sandwich. "You mind?"

Janet shrugged. "Go ahead." She sighed. "In response to your other question... I'm not sure I want to make progress on it."

"What do you mean?" Sam frowned, picking at her pilfered snack.

The brunette doctor leaned back in her chair, her own half of the tuna sandwich ignored. "Does it seem right to you? I mean, using this virus to indiscriminately kill anyone and everyone with a symbiote? Including, mind you, your own father?"

Sam raised one blonde eyebrow and picked off a piece of wheat bread, popping it into her mouth before answering. "As for my father - and the rest of the Tok'ra - it would be a matter of letting them know what we were planning and giving them a chance to get to a safe place. Remember, about a year ago they tried the same thing... making a virus to kill symbiotes. We would've done this then if Anubis hadn't popped up."

"I didn't even know about that mission until it was over," Janet reminded her. "Plus, this is a little different."

"How so?"

Janet shrugged. "I formed this virus. Me. Anything done or not done with it will be on my conscience."

Sam smiled. "So what are you saying? It's okay so long as you're not involved or as long as you don't know about it?"

"Neither," Janet sighed. "I can't explain my reasoning. Using a virus to kill the System Lords... I don't know. That doesn't seem as heinous or reprehensible as indiscriminately killing every Goa'uld in the universe."

"Well... is it right for them to indiscriminately kill and enslave humans wherever they go? I mean, we're just protecting ourselves."

"'Protecting ourselves' is making a shield. Protecting ourselves is defense. Maybe if the Goa'uld were coming and we sprayed this virus into the atmosphere of Earth so the Goa'uld couldn't survive here, I could see it as a defense. But even that would make it impossible for Teal'c to live here or for any Tok'ra to ever come to this world."

"This virus is a defense," Sam insisted. "We may not even have to use it... I mean, once word gets out that Earth has a virus that can kill Goa'ulds..."

Janet shook her head. "No. You know it doesn't work like that, Sam. You don't back down because you see the trump card. The Goa'uld, if they ever find out we have this, will slaughter us to 'protect themselves.' Which means that if we do what we're contemplating it would make us just as bad as they are." She sighed. "As for having it and not using it... I think we've just been lucky so far with the hydrogen bomb and nuclear weapons..."

Sam sighed. "Okay. Let's say we don't just start peppering Goa'uld planets with this virus. We just infest someplace we're about to go." She began to tick off the steps on her fingers. "We send the MALP through and, if we see any sign of Goa'uld occupation, we squirt a little virus into the atmosphere. A day or two later, we continue with the mission."

"Sam, you're talking about killing the enemy outright. No discussion, no anything. Just outright murder."

"Yes... murdering them so they won't blow us away as soon as they spot us."

"What about the Jaffa that may be on that world? Jaffa sympathetic to our cause who would've been helpful to us. What if a Tok'ra operative - God forbid, what if Jacob - was undercover on that world and our actions kill them? By taking a virus and using it the way we're considering using it, we're violating the rules of engagement. What about the Geneva convention?"

"What about the Geneva convention?" Sam asked, leaning forward. The commander of SG-4 heard the angry hiss of the Major's voice and glanced back before returning to his 'lunch'. "Janet, we're talking about Earth here. Not just the United States of America or Canada or England or some miniscule country. We're trying to save the entire planet. And if a few toes have to be stepped on to do that..." She sighed. "The Rules of Engagement are in no way against making self-defensive actions."

Janet shook her head. "This is not self-defense, it is genocide." She picked at her sandwich and sighed, "I don't want to be God."

"No one's asking you to."

"I'm being asked to choose between two races... who lives and who dies. That's God stuff. And what about my oath? 'First do no harm,' right?"

Sam shrugged and said, "Basically, you have to choose to do what you think is right. I personally don't think there is an option."

Janet arched an eyebrow. "Really? What would you do?"

"I'm me," Sam said, sucking a bit of stray mayonaisse from her thumb. "You have to make your own decision. Thanks for the sandwich," she said, winking as she stood from the table. "Finish off my dessert for me."

"Sure," Janet sighed. She picked up the cool glass and spun the topping through the blue cubes, trying to figure out just what precisely she was going to do.

*~*

When she finally left the cafeteria, Colonel O'Neill was standing at the elevators, leaning against the wall. His feet were crossed at the ankle and he was idly examining something on one of his fingernails. Janet took a breath and walked over, sweeping her card through the scanner. As she pulled back, O'Neill casually said, "Carter tells me you're having second thoughts about this virus."

'Sam has a big mouth,' she wanted to say. Instead, she straightened her back and said, "I may be."

"I hope," the older man said, pushing away from the wall, "that the second thoughts involve precisely when and where to shove that bug up their collective asses. Are those the second thoughts you're having, Doctor?"

"No, Sir," she said. "My second thoughts involve the moral issues relating to this virus. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with being the harbinger of extinction to another race."

Jack forced a smile, his head nodding slightly as the elevator doors slid open. Sergeant Siler stood inside, clutching a file and staring at the wall next to the door. "Yeah. You're... kidding, right?"

Siler said, "Sir?"

"She'll take the next one, Sergeant," Jack said, watching the doors slide shut again. "Tell me you're pulling my leg, Doc. A virus that could utterly destroy the Goa'uld..."

"Kill without regard for anything other than what they have in their bodies. Tok'ra and freed Jaffa alike. Remember Ska'ara and Sha're? You would've given anything to rescue them. What if there are more cases like that out there? Someone else striving to save a child or wife from possession? Would you have been so gung-ho about this virus if Ska'ara was still blended with Klorel?" She put a hand to her forehead. "This is not a decision I'm making lightly, Colonel."

"It's not a decision you're making, period. Teal'c almost died to deliver that virus to your hands. Daniel did die to--"

Janet cut him off with a sharp laugh. "Daniel died to prevent something like this. Remember? Kelowna? Using a big bomb to solve their problems?"

"Oh, okay. I see. You're going to kill that virus and then invite Anubis and his poker buddies over for tea? Have a little UN meeting-of-the-minds to figure out the correct course of action? The correct course of action, Major Fraiser is to do what you signed on to do." He swept his own card through the ID. "You defeat the enemy at all costs. No matter what it does to your precious morality."

"Oh, is that the Air Force you signed into? I got a different manual."

Jack got into the elevator car. Janet attempted to follow him, but he gently put a hand on her shoulder and held her back. "Take the next one," he suggested. She grit her teeth as he stepped back, leaning against the wall again. "This war is going to end one day, Fraiser. With that virus... it could be tomorrow."

When the doors closed on him, Janet leaned against her side of the hallway and looked up at the ceiling.

*~*

The SGC was on high alert again, only this time it had nothing to do with some threat coming through the Stargate. This time, the threat was being escorted through their front doors.

General Hammond entered the briefing room, where SG-1 and Dr. Fraiser sat waiting for their esteemed guest. Teal'c had fully healed, looking his usualy robust self once again. Jack and Jonas both looked like they could have used a little bit more sleep. Jonas had stopped by the infirmary in the middle of the night during Janet's research, telling her he felt like he had while working on the naquadria bomb with his own people. He was convinced the virus was the wrong thing to do, and Janet had to agree with him on that.

As Hammond took his seat, the airmen escorted Senator Kinsey into the room.

"Senator," Hammond said, his voice betraying a little of his dislike for the man.

"General," Kinsey sighed, sounding like a principal scolding a disobedient child. He scanned the room, his gaze lingering on Colonel O'Neill as he said, "I hope you have an explanation for this little... problem we're having."

O'Neill forced a smile. "Believe me, Senator, as much as I hate to admit... I'm on your side this time."

Kinsey didn't look convinced, but he turned his attention to Hammond. "Do you care to explain to me how an incredibly potent virus with the likelihood of ending this war with the Goa'uld can turn into chicken soup overnight?"

"I cannot, Senator," Hammond said. The research Janet had submitted to Area 51 had been tested and retested in lab environments dozens of times with the same result; the bug that had nearly killed Teal'c was useless. Simulation after simulation showed countless errors in the make-up of the disease. It was useless.

Janet cleared her throat and stood. "During the attempted engineering of the virus, we ran into several stumbling blocks in the genetic makeup. We... we simply could not recreate the virus in a lab setting. When SG-1 returned to the planet to retrieve more samples of the creature that originated the disease, we discovered that the virus could not be activated without presence of a Goa'uld symbiote... which means we would have had to reinfect Teal'c in order to get results."

"And?" Kinsey asked.

"We were not prepared to endanger him any more than he had been," Hammond interjected. "He almost died the first time."

"At the moment," Janet went on, her voice a bit softer, "We are shelving the attempts to recreate the virus. It seems to be a lost cause."

Kinsey was seething, as was Colonel O'Neill. "The SGC finally brings back something useful... something that could have been our salvation," he held his hands up as if receiving a blessing from heaven, then slapped them together with enough force to make even Teal'c jump, "and the SGC destroys it."

"No lab on Earth could have recreated that virus with any degree of success," Sam stepped in, not willing to let Janet go down alone. "No doctor on Earth was more qualified than Dr. Fraiser. If she couldn't do it, you'd do well to consider it impossible."

Kinsey sneered at the blonde, then finally turned his gaze to Janet. "Really? Well, I have heard reports from the mountain that Dr. Fraiser had doubts about the ethics of this little venture."

Janet's eyes widened and she glanced at Hammond. The General didn't betray anything, so she faced Kinsey fully. "That's right."

"That's right," Kinsey repeated. "So, forgive me if I'm a little skeptical about your abilities."

Janet straightened slightly, then said, "I may have had misgivings about what I was being asked to do... I even considered resigning my post rather than hand this virus over. But I did what I had to do. Believe me when I say that it simply did not work."

Kinsey scanned the faces in the room once more.

Finally, Jack spoke up. "She's telling the truth, Sir. I had Dr. Warner go over her results."

The air seemed to get sucked out of the room. Janet couldn't believe what she'd just heard. "C-Colonel?"

"He had my permission," Hammond said. "We all just wanted to be certain that--"

"May I be excused, Sir?"

After a moment, Hammond nodded. Janet took a moment to glance at Sam, who looked apologetic, then at Jack. He looked her in the eye, betraying no regret. Janet turned and left the briefing room.

*~*

After knocking received no response, Sam crossed to the fence and went into the backyard of her friend's house. Janet was sitting on the deck in her pajamas and a robe, staring at the sky. Her bare feet were balanced on the railing, her hands wrapped around a glass of milk that was resting on her stomach. "Hey," Sam said quietly. "I knocked..."

"I didn't want company," Janet said, brushing at her face.

Sam nodded as she climbed onto the deck next to the doctor. She took a seat next to her friend and looked up at the stars, waiting for Janet to start talking.

Finally, the brunette cracked. "I came home today and Cassandra was watching TV before doing her homework. So now she's grounded." She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Odd, huh? I spend my days trying to perfect a doomsday virus and I punish my daughter for catching the last couple minutes of 'Hollywood Squares.' Kind of puts everything in perspective, doesn't it?"

Sam didn't answer.

"You said you had made your decision on the virus," Janet reminded her friend. "What was it?"

"It doesn't really matter now, does it? I mean, the virus is useless."

"Right. But... let's say it was potent. Let's say I could go into the design, find what went wrong and fix it. Then... would you use it to destroy the Goa'uld? Protect the lives of humans everywhere?"

Sam sighed and leaned back. "Yesterday, I would've said yes. I would've said let's load it up and head out. But... when those findings revealed that we couldn't..." She shook her head. "I was relieved that the power had been taken out of our hands. We had this awesome responsibility that no man or woman really deserves. You said a few weeks ago that this was 'God stuff.' I think that's entirely true. I'm glad we ultimately didn't even have the option to use it or hold it back. It could've only hurt us in the long run."

"I'm glad you think so," Janet said, taking a sip of her milk.

After a long moment, Sam finally said, "Did you do something?"

"How do you mean?"

"To the virus. To the... the findings. Did you alter them somehow?"

Janet shrugged. "The General and Colonel O'Neill went behind my back to make sure I didn't."

"Cut the outraged act, Janet. You and I both know you're twice the doctor Warner is. You could've made it look good on the surface."

The doctor sat up and said, "Bottom line, you and I are both glad the weight of this is off our shoulders. Right?"

"Right," Sam sighed.

"So... what does it matter if I did or didn't alter it in someway? End results are the same. The only thing it would change was whether or not I deserved to be court-martialed." She finished off her milk and looked Sam in the eyes. "The virus didn't work. We have to move on like it never existed. Because... in all respects... it didn't. We have gained nothing from the past few weeks. Except we maybe know ourselves a little better."

Sam put a hand atop Janet's and looked into the doctor's eyes. "I think you made the right decision."

The blonde rubbed Janet's knuckles, then stood, making it to the edge of the deck before the brunette said, "You don't know which decision I ultimately made."

Sam turned and smiled. "Yes, I do. It was the right one, either way." She winked and pointed up. "G'night, Janet. Enjoy the stars."

Janet leaned back on her lawnchair again, staring up at the cool night sky. A shooting star streaked across the atmosphere, a burning scar on an otherwise featureless canvas. It was gone as soon as it had appeared, continuing on it's interstellar journey; Janet felt like that piece of space debris... moving along casually until she suddenly bumped into something in her way. Move in the wrong direction and she would have plummeted to Earth like a fireball.

She had righted her course, and the course of everyone at the SGC. Maybe she had done it accidentally, maybe the decision had ultimately not been hers to make. Whatever the cause, she knew that the outcome was wholly and undeniably right. They didn't have the means to destroy an entire race. God help them if it ever did reach that level. She put her glass of milk aside and checked her watch before going inside. It still wasn't too late... maybe, if Cassie was still up, she could help her daughter with her homework and ease the punishment.

What was a little TV, anyway... in the grand scheme of things?

END