Title: How Do You Sleep?

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Pairing: Sam/Janet

Category: Romance

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: Stargate and characters are the property of MGM, Gekko, etc. Mainly you need to know no one with the name of Geonn owns the deed to these people.

Archive: Yes, just let me know where it's gonna be.

Spoilers: "Children of the Gods"

Summary: Janet doesn't understand how Sam does it.


"How do you sleep at night?"

I rolled over, smiling at Janet in the darkness. "Excuse me?" I asked. Her hair was loose, hanging on her forehead and cheek. I cupped her cheek, sweeping her hair up and out of her face. "Have I done something I should feel guilty for?"

"No," she said softly. She kissed the inside of my wrist. "I didn't mean it like that." She scooted closer to me under the covers. "What I meant was, how can you sleep so peacefully knowing what tomorrow holds? Knowing that you'll get up, put a little bit of make-up on, fix your hair... and go to work, where you'll walk up a ramp and through a sheet of shimmering blue light to an alien world. At least once a week, Sam, you're walking where no human has stepped for hundreds of years. Doesn't that... thrill you?"

"Yeah, of course," I said. I wrapped my hand around hers. "And I am awed by it. You weren't there, but the first time I saw it activated, Colonel O'Neill had to push me through the Gate." Janet snickered. Her fingers were resting just over the scooped neck of my tank top, skimming the flesh of my breast. I sighed and pressed forward against her. "But at the end of the day, I'm a scientist. I understand the Stargate, why it does what it does. I know what the event horizon is comprised of, even if I don't know what stabilizes it. I know what happens to allow my body to be hurtled across the galaxy. It all breaks down to mathematics and science. Nothing to lose sleep over."

She sighed. "Oh." She noticed where her fingers were and began tracing a freckle. "So nothing awes you?"

"No, I wouldn't say that," I said, sliding my hand up and down her hip. Her skin felt so good through the cool silk of her nightgown; just a hint of her body heat through the cold material. I licked my lips and said, "There were a couple of nights - almost a week - after being assigned to the SGC when I couldn't get to sleep."

Her fingertips went under my shirt. "What nights?"

"The first night, I was thinking about a certain doctor. A beautiful doctor, with gorgeous hair and sparkling eyes who looked so wonderful in her uniform. The second night, I was still thinking about her. The third night I spent tossing and turning and telling myself she had to be straight. The fourth and fifth nights, I was agonizing over how kind she was to me, to everyone. And the sixth night... I couldn't sleep because... I had company."

Janet was blushing by the time I finished, and I reached out to cup her face. "I'm still awed by you, you know," I said, just before covering her lips with my own.

Later, after, I combed her hair with my fingertips and watched her drift off to sleep, a defiant grin on her face because she wasn't going to fall asleep with me watching. I smiled back, watching her eyelids slowly get heavier, watching her smile slowly relax. I kissed the corner of her mouth as she sagged against my arm. I pressed my forehead to hers, pressing my shoulder to hers and letting one of her legs slip between mine. I closed my eyes. "Like this," I whispered, hoping I wouldn't wake her. "This is how I sleep at night."


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