Friends & Lovers

Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: R

Pairings: Sam/Janet

Category: Humor

Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. I even borrowed the letters that make up the words.

Spoilers: Urgo, Divide & Conquer

Series: The Ampersand Series

What Came Before: Life & Death, Search & Rescue, Forgive & Forget, Hide & Seek, Light & Dark, Now & Then, True & False, Cookies & Cream, Love & War, Flesh & Blood, Hours & Minutes, Wine & Roses, Naughty & Nice, Smoke & Mirrors, Bed & Breakfast

Summary: An off-base run-in leads to uncomfortable working conditions.


The Wishing Well was a converted warehouse, it's interior completely gutted and redone in an ultra-modern motif. The west section of the main floor was devoted to secluded booths and tables, most of which were filled on this particular night. Couples laughed at inside jokes, a few openly kissing or fondling. A waiter or waitress would stop the affection before it got out of hand, but they always waited for the last moment. The east section of the floor was a filled-to-capacity dance floor. The two areas were separated by a U-shaped bar, manned by three bartenders.

The second level was alloted for more intimate dining; where waiters in crisp suits took orders for such dishes as Peking Duck and tiramisu. Wine flowed freely here, in replace of the hard liquor or soda served on the floor.

Photos and lithographs of celebrities or famous events lined the walls. Neon lights formed frames for the various pieces of art, extending from one end of the building to the other. The back of the bar/restaurant was devoted to the kitchen and restrooms. Placed between the men's room and the women's, an old Wurlitzer juke box stood waiting for use. At the moment, the sound system was pumping the latest from an anonymous rock group, but the sound system was programmed to play whatever songs were chosen on the old record machine.

The front doors opened and Samantha Carter flashed a smile to the bouncer. Hanging off the blonde's left arm, as always, was Janet Fraiser. The brunette scanned the room with eager eyes, her lips upturned in a permanent smile. "God, I've missed this place!" she commented, smoothing her free hand over Sam's shoulders.

The Wishing Well was a predominantly gay and lesbian club, and the management enforced a strict privacy policy. Everyone who entered, including the two SGC officers, were welcome to be free and open without worrying about any reprimands.

Sam motioned to the counter, spotting their favorite bartender wiping down a glass. "Hey," Sam called. "Who does someone have to sleep with to get some service around here?"

Drew looked up with a smile. "Well, if there was a God in heaven, it would be me... but I guess I could overlook it this once." He leaned over the bar, placing a kiss on each woman's forehead. "Now, what the hell was so important it's kept my ladies away from me so long?"

Sam shrugged. "Well, we've been busy. One of us was dead for a while," she said, only half-kidding. "And... there's also some news..." She lifted her left hand, prompting Janet to do the same.

Drew's eyes lit up as he saw the rings on the third finger. "No... way! You guys finally did it?"

They all laughed and Sam nodded. "We took the plunge."

He shook his head, laughing. "It's about damn time... you ladies want some free wings?"

"Free?" Sam said. "That's the ticket! Bring 'em to our regular booth, 'kay?" He nodded and Sam led Janet through the maze of tables. As they slid onto the cool seat of the booth and sliding over to give her lover room to sit, Sam asked, "You think Teal'c can handle Cassandra alone?"

Janet lowered herself to the booth, ignoring the empty space Sam had left and placing herself on the blonde's lap. "Oh, I'm positive. When we left, she was trying to explain 'Metal Gear 2' to the poor guy," she laughed.

Sam blinked, then shook her head. "I'm sorry, I stopped listening the second your ass came in contact with my legs."

Janet laughed and cupped the blonde's face, lightly kissing her. The gentle clatter of a plate being deposited on their table forced them to break the contact and they looked up. Drew was smiling down at them, offering a wink as he reached up to the top of the booth. They had both failed to notice, but during their absence a cover had been added to each booth. Before Sam could ask what it was for, Drew had unhooked something and a curtain dropped over the table. The lantern on the wall provided a gentle, romantic light for them as the music on the other side of the sheet became muffled. Janet whispered, "Just when I thought this place couldn't get any better."

Sam kissed the doctor's moist lips, then motioned for her to move. The brunette reluctantly obliged, snuggling against Sam's side as they began to pick apart the wings. Janet took the opportunity to examine Sam's outfit. The blonde had decided against jeans and - against any and all logic - was wearing a dress and stockings. Her feet were clad in sensible flat-soled shoes since they planned on dancing that night. Her white blouse looked more appropriate for a church or a funeral, the pearl buttons blending in with the soft fabric. The chain of her dog tags were visible below the collar. Her black leather jacket was now slung low on her shoulders. She had feathered her hair and dug a pair of jade earrings from her jewelry box.

When Sam looked at her lover, she was surprised to find she was the object of such intense attention. She smiled, her lips slightly stained by barbeque sauce. "What?"

Janet took a napkin from the table and lovingly cleaned all of the red sauce from Sam's fingers. She then leaned forward and pressed her lips to Sam's in a hungry, open-mouthed kiss. Sam moaned, moving her hand up the brunette's side to cup one firm breast as their tongues dueled. When they finally separated, Janet gasped, "You... are a beautiful woman."

"Takes one to know one," Sam asserted before devouring Janet's lips once more. Janet swabbed the interior of Sam's cheeks, gliding across her tongue and skimmed her lips, gathering traces of barbeque sauce as she explored. Finally, she pulled back and settled herself on the booth seat.

Sam smiled, cocking one eyebrow. "The wings are as good as ever, huh?"

"Better than I remember," Janet winked.

"You wanna dance?"

Janet sighed. "I want to have sex... but as I remember, they have rules about that here."

Sam laughed, pressing her forehead to Janet's. "So... dance?"

"I'd love to, hon."

They pulled aside the curtain and headed for the dance floor, hand-in-hand.

A pounding rock song with a pulsing rhythm began playing as soon as they stepped onto the dance floor, and Sam turned to smile at her lover. Janet's hair was loose, as Sam had suggested before they headed out. The blonde reached out, capturing a few strands with her hand as their bodies moved together. The doctor wore a backless dress made of impossibly supple velvet, the material rising from her waist to wrap around the front of her body and connect with a single button at the back of the wearer's neck. Sam held Janet close, her hands to coming in contact with warm flesh. They began to sway to the music, lost in each other's eyes. Janet rested her head on the taller woman's shoulder, smiling at the other dancers. "Sam, this is a fast song... we're not keeping up with the other dancers..."

"What other dancers?" Sam asked. She dipped the brunette, kissing her softly and running her hand down one velvet-encased side. When they straightened once more, Janet's smile was wider. "God... what am I going to do with you?"

"Strip me down and make love to me... of course, that's only a suggestion."

Janet laughed, feeling Sam's thigh slipping between her legs. She bit her lip, holding tightly to the blonde's shoulders as the major pressed her thigh against Janet's hot center. Janet repeated the maneuver between Sam's legs, both women grinding against each other on the dance floor. To an outside observer, they simply appeared to be dancing rather seductively, but nothing more. Sam pressed her lips to one of Janet's fluttering eyelids and whispered, "Bathroom?"

Janet murmured wordlessly, wrapping her hand in Sam's and allowing the blonde woman to lead her off the dance floor. Their trip to the bathroom was made by cutting through a row of pool tables, and Janet saw her lover gaze longingly at the players. She sidled up to the blonde, pressing her breasts against the taller woman's back to remind her of their purpose. She whispered, "Dear me. I thought I had cured you of your obsession with... balls and sticks."

Sam turned, smiling and stroking Janet's hip through the dress. "You're my favorite sport now, love. And you're the only teammate I need." She lightly kissed the brunette's lips, pulling her the rest of the way to the ladies room. There was a woman reapplying lipstick at the sink and the two officers stopped, slowing and pretending they were only there to use the facilities. The make-up woman turned, smiling at them, then asked Janet. "Are you two together?"

Sam tightened her grip on the petite doctor and said, "Yes. We are."

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Too bad." She winked at Janet as she moved past, leaving the bathroom.

Alone again, Sam and Janet turned to each other and their lips met in a hungry kiss. Janet's mind inadvertantly flashed back to her ex-husband's kisses; he had probably learned how to do it from Dudley Do-Right. Sam, on the other hand, was the most amazing kisser she had ever had the pleasure of locking lips with. When Sam kissed you, her lips and tongue were constantly in motion across Janet's lips, cheeks, eyes and neck. Her hands never stopped moving, pausing to squeeze or caress her favorite spots on the petite woman's body.

They backed into a stall, slamming the door behind them. Sam let one hand stray to the handle, sliding the lock in place as she pinned Janet against the door. Janet shivered as her bare back came in contact with the cool metal, her heart skipping slightly as Sam found the zipper. The brunette laughed as Sam nibbled on her neck. "Oh, my God," she gasped. "I'm about to have sex in a public restroom!"

"You've never done this before?" Sam asked.

"No... never..."

"Why do you think they put those condom machines in men's rooms?"

Janet pressed a series of kisses to Sam's forehead. "And how do you know about those, little missy?"

Sam pulled the collar of Janet's dress aside, her lips skimming the doctor's collarbone. "I wasn't always with you, ya know. But, God, I wish I had been."

The backs of Sam's legs were pressed against the cold porcelain of the toilet, trying to find room to maneuvre in the small space. Janet lifted her leg, kicking her shoes off and placing one foot on the closed lid of the toilet bowl. Using this as leverage, she lifted her other leg and wrapped them both around Sam's waist. Sam gasped, reaching behind her lover's neck and undoing the single button that held the bodice of her dress in place. Janet moaned, feeling the blonde's lips immediately close around an erect nipple as the material was pulled away.

Janet bit her lip, closing her eyes and threading her fingers through Sam's hair as the blonde suckled at her breast. When she switched to the other nipple, the cool air of the bathroom caused goosebumps to rise on Janet's moist breast. She sighed, rolling her head back against the door.

Suddenly, the blare of music increased as the door to the bathroom opened. Both women gasped, freezing where they were. The sound of high heels on linoleum sounded from the door to the sink and there was a brief burst of running water.

Janet's eyes were wide, her mouth agape in shock.

Sam smiled mischievously and she began to drum her fingers on the quaking flesh of Janet's thigh. The doctor shook her head, mouthing, "We're not alone."

The blonde ignored the brunette's complaint and pressed the tip of her index finger against the doctor's thin panties. Janet's eyes closed, every fiber of her being going into stifling the groan that was rising in her throat. The barrier of the panties was trivial to Sam; she simply fingered it aside and brushed the knuckle of her first two fingers across the moist flesh below. Janet was squirming and pressed herself harder against Sam's stomach. This trapped the blonde's fingers where they were and kept her arm at an uncomfortable angle.

Using the slightest of touches, Sam began to work her fingers until they impaled the petite doctor's sex completely. She closed her eyes as she felt the hot warmth envelope her probing fingers, feeling the muscles tense around her invading digits. The woman at the sink was coughing quietly, the contents of her purse rattling as she searched for something. A sudden hiss of air and a relaxed breath indicated to Janet that it was an inhaler and the woman was staving off an asthma attack.

Sam continued to thrust, moving only her fingers and wrist to pleasure her lover. Janet was close to climax when there was the sound of stilleto heels on the linoleum once more...

And the door to their stall shook. Sam's eyes flashed open, locking onto Janet's. Both of them waited. Sam glanced down, seeing the woman's reflection in the recently-cleaned floor. She was peeking under the door! Sam quietly thanked Janet for putting her feet up on the seat.

"Are you almost done in there?"

Sam smiled. "Getting there." Janet rolled her eyes, blinking the sweat off her eyelashes.

There was the sound of a high-heeled retreat and Sam pressed a kiss to Janet's lips as her fingers began pumping furiously into the doctor's wet center. Finally, the contractions between the legs came closer and closer together, her breath growing ragged. Janet lowered her lips to Sam's throat, kissing the tanned column as she came on her lover's hand. Grateful they were alone in the bathroom, Janet began panting loudly, gasping her lover's name over and over again.

As the brunette came down from her climax, Sam helped her climb off and readjust her clothing. They kissed passionately, holding each other tight as their bodies tried to return to normal rhythms. "You ready for another dance?" Sam asked.

"I think," Janet sighed, "I'd rather have some dinner... I need to regain my energy for tonight."

Sam's eyes lit up. "Lead the way, honey."

They unlocked the door and stepped into the bathroom... only to find the asthmatic stiletto woman hadn't left. She was leaning against the wall next to the door. Sam felt a crimson flush rise from her chest to her ears and smiled at the woman. "Um... all free."

The other woman looked at the couple, then shyly approached the stall. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

Sam and Janet walked out of the bathroom hand-in-hand, politely waiting until they were out of the bathroom to start laughing.

---

"There is no way - NO WAY - this is payback."

Jack O'Neill rolled his eyes as he shifted the truck to park. "What's the big deal, Daniel? All you gotta do is walk in with me, and then walk out. Easy as pie."

Daniel shook his head, looking out the frost-covered window. "I just... I don't know. There's no way this is as bad as what I did to you."

"You put so much starch in my jockies that I was walking through the SGC like the frickin' Tin Man! You're doing this!" The colonel climbed out of the truck and started across the parking lot, zipping up his wool jacket as he walked.

Daniel reluctantly opened his own door, starting after the older man. "Look, that was a prank. This is public humiliation!"

Jack sighed, lowering his voice as they approached the door. "Carter and Fraiser have been holding this over my head for years... this place has the best wings in the entire western United States and they're a strictly homosexual establishment."

"Yeah, but... C'mon, Jack, what if someone sees us? Or, or what if someone tells Sam or Janet we were here together."

"This place is don't ask, don't tell to the extreme. We walk in, get an order of wings to go, walk out. Then your debt to me will be half-paid."

"FULL-paid."

"Quarter-paid."

Daniel turned and headed back for the truck. Jack cursed and said, "Fine, all right. Just... come and get the buffalo wings." The archaeologist sighed and returned to the older man's side. Jack slung one arm over the younger man's shoulders and said, "Thanks for coming back, honey. I hate when we fight."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Just make this quick."

---

Sam and Janet sat in the booth, partially obscured by the lowered curtain as they picked up where they had left off earlier. Janet undid one button on Sam's blouse and slipped her hand inside, feeling the warm flesh as they necked like teenagers at the prom. Finally, the doctor sighed, "What do you say we get some food?"

"What, the wings aren't good enough for you?"

Janet smiled. "*Real* food. Nothing deep fried or batter-dipped."

Sam reached to the center of the table and began perusing her choices as Janet signalled a waitress. An attractive redhead in a tuxedo shirt and black slacks approached, smiling warmly at both woman. Her nametag introduced her as "Tiffany." Sam chewed on her lower lip, then said, "I... will have the chicken cordon bleu..."

Tiffany raised a finger. "Ma'am, I'm sorry... we're all out of the chicken cordon bleu. If I could recommend..."

Janet gasped. "Oh. My. God... Oh, my *GOD*!"

Sam looked at her lover. "It's okay, hon. It's only chicken."

"No, no, no, no, no... not that!" She pointed at the bar. "THAT!"

---

Daniel tried - unsuccessfully - to shrug Jack's arm away from his shoulder as they approached the bar. Jack tapped on the countertop and a man promptly appeared. "Well, hello. My name is Drew and I'd like to do whatever I can to help you gentlemen tonight."

Jack smiled. "We've heard wonderful things about your hot wings. Haven't we, sweetheart?" He dropped his arm and playfully swatted Daniel on the ass. Before the archaeologist had time to react, Jack pulled him tighter.

The younger man just blushed and prayed for a quick exit.

---

"That... no, it can't be!"

Sam shook her head, just as skeptical as her lover. But there they were, clear as day. Jack had just slapped Daniel's ass! They were *cuddling* at the bar in a *gay* club! What else could that possibly mean?! Sam glanced at Tiffany, then said, "We're going to need a minute."

The girl nodded and turned to visit her other, non-shocked customers.

Janet took a deep breath, then said, "Now, we can't jump to conclusions. There must be a logical reason that Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson are in a gay club."

Sam glared at her lover. "Yeah, they just came for the hot wings. Daniel would *not* let Jack slap his ass like that unless... unless it was... you know..."

The two men accepted a to-go bag and Jack smiled at the waiter before heading towards the exit. Sam slipped out of the booth and said, "I'm going to figure this out once and for all. Wait for me." She approached the bar and got Drew's attention. "Excuse me... those two men who just left. Why didn't they stay longer?"

"The younger one, the one with glasses, he was apparently inching to get back home. The older one had a bit more patience. Guess it comes with age, huh?"

Sam blanched. "Yes... I suppose it does."

Drew caught her as she was about to return to Janet's side. "Hey, ah... when your plate is clean, be sure and tell the waitress you're on the Drew Special. All free wings, all you can eat, all night long."

Sam returned the smile. "Thanks, Drew."

When she returned to her lover's side, the brunette leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "Well? What did you find out."

Sam shivered, her eyes wide. "Apparently... Daniel was in a rush to get home. He... couldn't wait."

Both women grimaced at the thought and tipped their drinks.


Chapter Two,

Daniel dropped into the chair in the briefing room, unconsciously touching his glasses as he flipped through the report from the latest planet on their mission list. He looked up, noticing that Sam was staring at him. He grinned self-consciously and said, "What are you staring at?"

She blinked, realizing she had been caught and looked down to arrange her folders. "Uh... uh, nothing. I just... well..." She looked around the room. Neither Jack or Teal'c had arrived and she could see General Hammond conferring with someone on the other side of the window. "I was just curious... how are things on the personal front?"

"Personal?" He frowned. "Um... okay, I guess. Why do you ask?"

"Curious," she shrugged. "I'm just curious as to how my teammate is doing, that's all. So? Girlfriends? Significant others? Wives you haven't told us about?"

He blushed. "No, I'm afraid there's no one at the moment. Unless you're volunteering," he added, offering a poor imitation of Jack's trademark sly grin.

She chuckled. "I'm quite happy, thank you very much. What about Colonel O'Neill?"

"I... I don't know. He doesn't talk much about sex or... or other personal things. And, before you ask, I think Teal'c is dating a girl from the med center."

She laughed. "Okay, okay. I'll drop it."

Daniel nodded and went back to the mission report. As he did, Jack O'Neill entered the room and dropped into his seat. "Hey, Danny. Whatcha doin'?"

He barely looked up. "Mission reports."

"Mission reports? On places we've already been?"

"No, places we're going."

Jack grimaced. "Geez... we'll see it when we get there. What's the rush? I bet you peeked at your gifts before Christmas Day, right?" He paused, then asked, "Is this why you had to run out so quick last night?" Sam almost choked on the water she had just swallowed. "Cause if you blew me off so you'd be rested for this.... there's no forgiving you, mister."

Daniel glanced at Sam, apparently gauging her reaction, then said, "No, I-- I was really tired last night."

"Sure, Daniel," Jack smirked. "That's what they all say."

Sam had to try to keep her cool. She straightened as Teal'c entered, followed by General Hammond. The Jaffa took his seat as Hammond spoke. "Morning, people. Let's get to the business at hand, shall we?"

---

Janet's eyes were wide, as if she were a child listening to a bedtime story. "He seriously said that?"

Sam nodded. "I know... I know, it's just-just... I can't describe it!"

The two women were in Janet's office, where Sam had just received her pre-mission exam. Both were leaning forward over the doctor's desk. Janet brushed a hand across her face. "Maybe it was a misunderstanding."

Sam glared at the brunette, then quoted Jack, "'Is that why you ran out so quickly last night'? That's pretty cut and dry, honey."

Janet nodded, nibbling on her fingernail. Finally, she sighed and reclined in her chair. "Look, Sam... we're not high schoolers. Why don't we just *ask* the guys if they're lovers?"

There was a pause as Sam digested Janet's suggestion, then she laughed. "Okay. Who gets to ask Jack?"

Both of them laughed at the mental picture of the colonel's face when the question came up. 'Excuse me, Sir, but I was wondering if you and Daniel were lovers?' Sam shook her head and finally checked the wall clock. "Look, I have to go. We're leaving in about twenty minutes."

Janet leaned over the desk and kissed Sam lightly. "Be safe."

Sam smiled. "You betcha." They kissed once more before Sam finally left the office, following the dark hallway that led back to the infirmary. She was about to exit into the large med center when she heard Jack's distinctive voice coming from one of the beds. He was probably just waiting for his pre-mission exam.

The colonel spoke, "Okay, so last night wasn't exactly the fun-fest I may have promised."

Daniel responded, and Sam realized that they must be in the room alone. "Not exactly a fun-fest... look, Jack, it was fun, but..."

"I'll make it up to you tonight after we get back from this mission."

"Tonight?" Daniel said, sounding shocked. "Geez, Jack, two nights in a row? I don't think I can handle it."

"Hey, I'm the old guy here. I should be complaining about you youngsters."

Sam turned and ran to retrieve Janet, missing the next part of the conversation. Daniel sighed. "I'm just saying those wings were really hot! I had to pop seven or eight antacids when I got home."

Jack laughed. "They were perfect and you know it. It certainly wasn't as bad as that kielbasa I made you eat at the fair we took Cassie to."

Sam and Janet returned, Sam indicating that the doctor should listen to the two men. There was silence, then Daniel said, "That was awful, Jack. I could barely fit the whole damn thing in my mouth. It was huge!"

Janet stifled a laugh.

O'Neill sighed. "Okay, okay, just tell me for sure; are you going to come tonight?"

"I'll try," Daniel finally said, sounding defeated.

Jack chuckled. "There is no try... you must do. I'm expecting you to come, Danny. It'll be no fun if you don't."

Sam and Janet retreated to her office so they could laugh without being overheard.

---

The world they had been assigned had been long-abandoned. According to Daniel, the writings they discovered were apparently derived from an ancient dialect of Latin on Earth. Sam excused herself early and climbed to the top of one structure, examining the ruins of the town they had happened upon. She was scanning the horizon when she became aware of the fact that she wasn't alone. She turned, watching Colonel O'Neill approach. She smiled and said, "Afternoon, Sir."

He nodded, looking out over the landscape. "Danny's practically drooling over those rocks down there. Had to give the boy his privacy before he dropped trou and started to--" He stopped in mid-sentence, then said, "Sorry, Carter. Shouldn't talk like that in mixed company."

She grinned. "I had a brother, Sir. I've heard worse. That, and... you talk in your sleep."

The colonel looked up sharply. "I what? I don't talk in my sleep."

"Sure you do," she chuckled. "I hear you all the time when I'm on watch. Now... I thought Urgo was kidding, but *what* is your obsession with Mary Steenbergen?"

Jack turned pale and averted his gaze. "It's, uh... not really her. I'm a big fan of Ted Danson and he just happens to be married to her."

She spoke before she thought about what she was saying. "Oh, so you're really moaning and groaning for Ted Danson?" She mentally kicked herself.

Jack glanced over his shoulder and shook his head. "Yeah, Carter. I get wet dreams about guys."

Sam frowned. That wasn't exactly the adamant denial she had expected from the colonel. Finally, she cleared her throat. "Sir? Is something bothering you?"

Jack closed his eyes. He turned to her, adjusting his goggles and said, "Well... actually, yes. Last night, Daniel and I..." What was he going to say? We pretended to be gay to get some hot wings? He amended his original statement to avoid insulting Sam. "Last night, I did something that... that made me think about the situation you and Dr. Fraiser have going. The whole... two mommies thing."

Sam hoped she didn't look as shocked as she felt.Why did he drop Daniel out of the conversation so quickly? "And what did you decide, Sir?"

"At first..." He stopped, brushing his hand across his jaw. "I was furious."

This was a surprise. "Why?"

"Well, I... we... you and I... the whole Za'tarc testing thing... I figured you had feelings for me and couldn't do anything about it because of regs. It made an old colonel feel good knowing that a beautiful young woman found him attractive. But then I find out that you and Janet have been... breaking regs all this time. It made me realize you never had any interest in me whatsoever... you were just lying to save me humiliation."

She stepped closer. "First off, Sir, Janet is the love of my life. I would break laws to be with her. But... I didn't lie when we were hooked up to the za'tarc machine. I do care for you deeply, more than any CO or superior I've ever had. The only difference is your feelings were sexual. Mine... were brotherly."

Jack looked hurt, then smiled. "Bygones," he said. "Whaddaya say we head down and see if Danny-boy's finished his little love affair with the million-year old words?"

He headed for the stairs that led down the side of the adobe building, but she stopped him. "Sir? Could I... ask you a personal question?"

"Depends. How personal?"

"Very," she said, wincing at the implications of asking this. "Are you..." Gay? Screwing Daniel? She finally just blurted out, "Are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

Jack pulled off his glasses and squinted at her. "Daniel told me you were asking that."

Busted, she thought.

"What's your sudden interest?"

She shrugged. "Ah, you know how married people are. They always want to see their friends happy." She prayed he accepted this excuse and headed for the stairs. He was right behind her as they descended the roof. Daniel was already packing up his supplies and Teal'c was loading supplies and artifacts onto the MALP. Jack tossed his own pack onto the rolling probe and said, "All right, folks. If we wanna get home by sundown, we better get moving."

Daniel turned, slinging a satchel over one shoulder. "Hey, Jack. I thought about it and I can't do it tonight. How about tomorrow?"

Jack tried to shush the other man, flashing him a warning glance. Sam frowned, then turned back to the MALP and began arranging the bags on it. Teal'c looked at her and whispered, "It would appear as if Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson have a secret."

She nodded, peering over her shoulder at the pair. "Yeah... it does, doesn't it?"

---

After the mission briefing and a quick shower, Sam ducked into Janet's office and locked the door behind her. The doctor looked up and smiled. "Another specialized exam, my dear?"

Sam grinned and said, "Maybe later... but I have a plan."

"A plan?" Janet was confused.

"To figure out what Jack and Daniel are up to... I overheard them make a date for tomorrow night." It felt weird thinking of two of her best friends out on a date, but she pushed it aside. "You and I both know how Jack loves buffalo wings. So, whatever they do, they'll probably stop by The Wishing Well for a take-out order. When they show up, you and I bust them."

Janet squinted. "You've been watching far too many spy shows."

"Yes, I have," Sam grinned, already pulling out of her jumpsuit. "Now, get over here and give me a clean bill of health." She didn't have to mention that Dr. Roth had already examined and cleared her; what she and Janet had planned was in no way an official examination.

Janet turned off her computer and moved to comply. Sam had already pulled the top of the jumpsuit off her shoulders and Janet knelt, pulling the rest of the material down her lover's thighs. She untied and removed Sam's boots before she could completely strip it away. Sam stood in her panties and black t-shirt, awaiting Janet's attentions. The doctor stood, moving Sam to the couch and prompting her to sit down. Sam did as told and the brunette lovingly peeled the black t-shirt away from the blonde's flesh.

She backed up, biting her lip as she looked over her friend's underwear-clad body. "Hmm," she said, sounding like any other doctor doing any other examination. "I believe that we have a problem."

Sam faked shock. "A problem? My dear, whatever could it be?"

Janet unhooked Sam's bra and tossed it aside, running her fingers over Sam's breast. "I believe," she said, fingering the erect nipple, "that I have discovered a lump on your breast."

Sam's eyes widened. "Heavens!" she said, trying her best not to laugh. "What shall we do, doctor?"

Janet sighed. "This will require some more examination. I'll have to give it the upmost priority." She lowered her head and closed her lips around the bud, fluttering her tongue over it as her fingers manipulated the other to erection. Sam rested her head on the back of the couch. It would be next to impossible to return the favor to Janet and keep the doctor in perfect shape for patients. They had been through this before and Sam would simply exact revenge when her lover got off work. Some days, it was all that kept Janet from collapsing at the end of a long shift.

The brunette slipped her head lower, pasting her lips to Sam's belly button and sucking it softly. The blonde gasped, arching her back slightly as the doctor moved between her legs. Janet spread her lover's legs, admiring the wet spot at the center of Sam's panties. "Why, Major Carter... I do believe I see leakage."

Sam closed her eyes, muttering, "Oh... uh... oh, is there a treatment?"

"There's an oral treatment we could try," Janet teased, placing her lips over the sodden material and applying gentle pressure.

The blonde moaned low in her throat and asked, "Did they teach you that in... in medical school?"

"I have you to thank for my education in this art, sweetheart. Now just lay back... and let the doctor take care of you." She hooked the material of Sam's underwear with her thumbs, gently pulling it down and inhaling the moist scent that greeted her. Wasting no more time, she prodded the erect nub of Sam's clitoris with her nose as her tongue dipped over her lover's slit, gathering the drops of moisture that had started to accumulate. She heard Sam's pleas for mercy and decided to obey her lover. Moving with painstaking nonchalance, Janet carefully kissed her way up the blonde's firm stomach, pausing to taste the salty skin below her heaving breasts.

Sam breathed in and said, "I can't take much more, honey. Please..." Janet latched onto Sam's lips, quieting her as she arranged herself between the blonde's stretched legs. She rubbed her index finger across her lover's entrance and worked the pink folds apart. Once she had found access, she added a second finger. She thrust her tongue into Sam's mouth and began to pump with her hand with increasing speed. Sam began to pant, her tongue limply laying across Janet's.

The doctor twirled her tongue around her lover's, pausing to examine the flesh of Sam's cheeks. Sam's muffled cries became more pronounced as Janet felt the muscles holding her fingers captive clamped down on the digits, holding them in place. Janet kept her mouth in place, stifling the taller woman's cries of passion.

When both women were still again, Janet slipped her hand free and began to work her tongue over her dripping fingers. She saved one finger for Sam and the blonde began sucking it hungrily. Once the juices had all been cleansed, Sam rested her head on the back of the couch and fixed her gaze on the ceiling. "I should... go soon."

Janet sat up, straightening her uniform. "I assume I can expect retribution tonight?"

Sam grinned. "Baby, I'll 'retribution' you from dusk 'til dawn..." She leaned forward and kissed Janet once more, tasting herself on her lover's lips and tongue. "God, I love you," she whispered when they pulled apart once more.

Janet smiled and brushed her hand across Sam's cheek. "And don't you ever forget that... or I'll be forced to remind you." She nibbled on Sam's cheek and pulled away. "Have a good day, Major Carter."

Sam got up and leaned on the doorframe. "You've already made it a great day."

Once she was gone, Janet returned to her chair and laid back, closing her eyes and smiling. It was hard for someone to have sex in a uniform and keep it looking presentable. Luckily, she had worn a skirt, so temporary satisfaction was just a fingertip away. She closed her eyes and spread her legs under her desk, turning her attention to the framed photo of Sam that sat on her desk.


Chapter Three,

That night in bed, Janet cuddled against Sam under the blankets as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. The TV was on, but neither woman was paying attention to it. Finally, Sam sighed and broke the silence. "Do you think we're doing the right thing?"

Janet smiled. "I hope so... I'd hate to think we've been doing it wrong all these years."

Sam laughed. "Not sex, silly. I mean, do you think we're doing the right thing with Jack and Daniel?"

"What do you mean?"

Sam sat up, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Look at it from their perspective. Hell, we *were* in their place until last year. In some ways, we still are... They may be just as in love as we are and are just afraid of being kicked out of the military. Do we really have the right to ruin this just for our own stupid curiosity?"

Janet sat up, cupping Sam's face. "Honey, we don't *have* to do anything. We could just tell them what we saw... or we can ignore it and leave them in peace."

They lay back down, both wondering which direction to take. Janet was about to give up and go to sleep when it hit her. A wicked smile spread across her face as she rolled over and began playing with the blonde's navel. "Sa-am?"

"Yes?"

Lowering her voice to a whisper, Janet said, "You're feeling guilty about how we would feel in Jack and Daniel's shoes. What if *they* were in *ours?"

"I don't think Jack would last five minutes in those heels you wear."

The doctor slapped Sam's bare shoulder. "You know what I mean. Let's say that, just by accident, Jack had found out about you and me a year ago. Now... in this situation, do you see him being understanding and saying 'Live and let live' or do you see him having a little bit of fun at our expense?"

One blonde eyebrow raised and Sam smiled at her lover. Chuckling, Sam said, "Let's get 'em."

---

The day passed with relatively little for Sam to do. There were no scientific reports to read and re-read, no SG teams coming or going for her to monitor. Sergeant Siler was off-duty, so she couldn't offer to help him tool around on his bike. There wasn't enough naquadah on the base for her to fiddle with the reactor. It was the day that wouldn't end. She was sitting in the chair of her oft-empty office and wasted her time by staring at the ceiling. 'What an amazing job I have,' she thought. 'One day I'm savin' the freakin' universe, the next I'm sitting on my ass staring at the clock.' She surfed the net for a while, discovering a few interesting websites, then finally gave up and headed to the infirmary to see if they needed an extra set of hands.

Unfortunately, it was as dead as the rest of the facility. Janet was busy filling out a health report on someone, so Sam quietly entered and sat across from the redhead. She toyed with her bootlace as she waited for the other woman to finish. A country CD was playing; Sam recognized it as one of the doctor's favorite artists. The blonde stood, moving to the portable CD player and picked up the case, returning to her chair with it. The brunette on the cover was jaw-droppingly gorgeous; sparkling brown eyes, long and flowing light brown hair with hints of blond, a smile to die for... Sam raised an eyebrow. "Wow... she's really cute..."

Janet glanced up to see what her lover was referring to. "Oh... yeah. That's, uh, Chely Wright." She indicated the air above her head. "She's singing right now."

Sam listened for a minute, recalling the beautiful music from her nightmarish experience on P47-861. She opened the case and looked at the pictures inside.

Janet capped her pen when she finished and moved to the filing cabinet, putting the report in the appropriate folder. When she returned to her seat, she smiled. "Hey, honey."

"Hi," Sam said, smiling. "What's up?"

The doctor sighed. "Not a hell of a lot. SG-2 isn't due back for three days, so I'm pretty much free." A mischievous twinkle appeared in her eye. "Why? What did you have in mind?"

Sam chuckled. "Nothing... *that* fun, I'm afraid. But I was thinking about Operation: Closet Cleaning."

Janet furrowed her brow. "Operation what?"

"The thing we're doing tonight with Jack and Daniel at the Well." She shrugged and explained, "I'm in the military; I give operation codenames to everything."

"Oh, really? What am I?" She didn't bother to mention the fact that she, too, was in the military.

Sam chuckled. "Operation: Love Of My Life. Now, about Jack and Daniel... I saw one of us is stationed at the bar. I'm guessing that'll be you because the crowd of hopeful temptresses surrounding you will keep you out of sight."

"Flirt," Janet grinned.

Sam returned the smile and continued. "I'll be stationed at the door in disguise. I'll make sure they don't escape. You try to keep Drew close by so that when Jack and Daniel come in for the wings, they'll have to be close to your position so they can order. You'll pretend to casually notice them and ask what they're doing there. That's when I come forward and pin them in from the other side. We'll force them to answer."

Janet tapped her finger on the desk. "OR! Or, I could get that empty warehouse set up! We could abduct the guys and hang them over a pit of gasoline by their toenails until they confess! Then, we'll send body parts to their family members so they'll know we mean business!"

Sam sat back, pouting. "Are you making fun of my plan?"

Janet got up and plopped down in Sam's lap. "Aw, honey... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She kissed her lover's forehead, then grinned, "You want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"I don't know... it might take a lot of kissing..." Sam's eyes were twinkling.

The doctor stood and moved to the door. She turned the lock and returned to her lover, kneeling between the blonde's spread thighs. "I got nothing but time..." The next few hours were anything but boring...

---

Drew sighed, shaking his head. "You ladies just be glad you're my favorite customers." He handed Sam a black apron and smiled. "For what it's worth... I think you look cute as a redhead."

The major grinned, adjusting her wig. She was dressed in a crisp white blouse that was buttoned to the top and a short black skirt; it was the standard waitress uniform at The Wishing Well. She also wore a pair of black-rimmed glasses and was chewing a piece of gum. "Thanks, hun," she said, giving her voice a Brooklyn accent.

Janet winced. "Ouch... don't do that voice again, okay?"

"Sorry," Sam said in her normal voice. "I just don't want them recognizing me before we have a chance to bust them." She wrapped the apron around her waist and added, "Oh... and you look positively scrumptious, sweetheart."

Janet smiled at the compliment, turning and letting the major examine her whole outfit. She was dressed in a sheer black gown without underwear. Fortunately, her modesty was saved by opaque patches in the appropriate areas. The hem was bundled up and attached to the belt, revealing the majority of both of her shapely, stocking-clad legs. Sam stepped forward and embraced the petite woman, running her hands over the brunette's shapely hindquarters. "Mmm, when can I see you in that dress again?"

"How about later tonight?" Janet huskily replied.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "When can I see you *out* of that dress?"

Janet chuckled and pressed her lips to Sam's neck, nibbling softly. Drew just shook his head and murmured, "Geez, you two ladies... you always make me reconsider playing for the other team."

Sam laughed and pressed her cheek to Janet's. "Don't worry, Drew. Straight women are nowhere near as hot and sexy as us. You'd just be disappointed."

Drew smiled, eyes twinkling. "Well... that's a good thing. Now, let's get this show on the road. When did you say your friends would get here?"

Sam followed Drew into the main room of the club, her voice nearly drowned out by the pulsing music. "I think 7:30. I asked someone to call when they left the base."

Janet brought up the end of the procession, moving to take her place at the bar while her companions continued onward. Before Sam got out of arm's reach, Janet reached out and pinched the major's shapely ass. Sam squealed and turned, blushing and trying not to smile as she hissed, "Doctor Fraiser!!"

The brunette turned to the bar, resting her hands on the counter as she waited for her part of the plan. She chuckled when she remembered Sam's comment about temptresses surrounding her. Like anyone--

"Is this seat taken?"

Janet looked up, surprised. "Um... I, uh... No."

The woman brushed a strand of ink-black hair out of her face as she climbed onto the stool. "I'm Dana. I," she chuckled. "I don't do this sort of thing often... or at all, in fact. I'm just in town on business and I thought I'd take a walk on the wild side." She scanned the club, giving Janet the opportunity to examine her new companion. The woman was probably on the low side of 30, maybe closer to 25. Her child-like face belied her age. Janet gazed at the woman's beautiful figure, hidden beneath a low-cut blue dress. When Dana turned back to Janet, the doctor was caught with her gaze locked on the other woman's chest. Dana laughed. "Well... like the view?"

Janet blushed and turned to scan the crowd. Where were Jack and Daniel?!

She felt a soft touch on her bare shoulder and turned, expecting to see Sam's jealousy-stricken face. Instead, she saw a woman in a smart business suit, her blonde hair hanging just past her shoulders. She smiled, her ice-blue eyes twinkling as she said, "Hi, there." Her voice was low and seductive, a small mole next to her eye only adding to her beauty. "My name is Georgia... like the song? 'Just an old sweet song,'" she hummed, "'Keeps Georgia on my mind...' I promise... it won't be my singing you remember tomorrow."

Dana cleared her throat. "Excuse me. I was talking to this lovely lady."

Georgia grinned. "Ooh. So is this like a two-fer?" She looked between Janet and Dana. "I could go for that. Haven't had one of these in a while." She brushed Janet's face with her fingers. "You... are beautiful."

Janet smiled nervously, then looked at her reflection in the mirror. Yep. Definitely the same old Janet Fraiser. "Look, um... ladies. I'm flattered. Really. But I'm kind of waiting for someone."

"Well wait no longer," Georgia breathed. "I'm here."

Janet felt her temperature rising. "Seriously, ladies. I'm honored to be..."

Dana cleared her throat. "I don't mind sharing..." She eyed Georgia hungrily.

'Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,' Janet told herself. 'Where are we going here?'

Georgia put a hand on Janet's shoulder and said, "Why don't the three of us head over to the dance floor and get acquainted with the way our bodies move." She licked her lips. "I can't wait to learn your rythym... What's your name?"

She choked, then finally said, "Uh. Uh... Janet."

Georgia smiled. "Mmm, Janet. I love that name." She took the doctor's hand and led her away from the bar, pulling Dana along with them as they joined the throng of dancers on the smooth floor.

---

Jack O'Neill stopped the truck and jumped out. He was halfway across the parking lot before he realized that Daniel wasn't following him. He turned and whistled. "Yo, Jackson! You coming or not?"

Daniel slowly opened the door and slipped out. "You said ONE time! This is not ONCE. This is two times."

"And the last. I promise. Next time, I'll just ask Carter and Fraiser to bring me take-out."

The younger man scanned the parking lot. "Okay. One last time. But NO pinching, NO slapping and NO pet names."

Jack rolled his eyes and said, "Fine! Just come on in and let's get some wings!"

Daniel reluctantly followed the colonel to the door, keeping a safe distance away this time. The bouncer recognized them and pushed the door open, offering them a friendly hello before closing the door behind them.

Jack led the way to the bar with Daniel trailing behind.

---

Janet's heart was pounding in beat with the music that was being pumped through the air. Georgia was pressing against her, their breasts rubbing intimately together. The blonde's hands were busy as well, sliding over the nylons that encased the doctor's legs. Dana was rubbing against her back; she could feel her new companion's erect nipples pressing against her shoulderblades. She swallowed, finding her mouth remarkably dry. She slowly brought her hands up, resting them on Georgia's hips. The blonde moved forward, pressing her lips to Janet's ear and whispering, "I want to feel you naked... I want to kiss every last inch of your body until you fill my mouth with your sweet, sweet juices..."

Janet quivered, then felt Dana's hands playing across the flesh of her thighs. 'God, this is wrong, this is wrong,' Janet told herself. She pressed her lips to Georgia's cheek in a chaste kiss, then slipped from between the two women. She moved carefully, then arranged herself so that she was pressing into Dana's back.

She grabbed Georgia's hips and pulled the blonde forward, sandwiching Dana between them. She heard the curious woman's deep intake of breath; Dana had never actually been with a woman and here she was sandwiched between two of them. With any luck, Janet would be able to quickly turn them on each other and be back at the bar in plenty of time to intercept her coworkers.

---

Jack approached the bar and said, "Hey, barkeep. Order of wings, to go please?"

Drew approached and appeared to be looking for someone further down the bar. "Oh. Uhh... sure. Let me go get those for you and your... boyfriend?"

The colonel smiled. "This? Yeah, this is my sweety." He pulled Daniel around so that the younger man was in front of him. He pressed against Daniel's back and reached down, grabbing a handful of Daniel's package.

---

Sam looked up from the table she was pretending to clear off and almost swallowed her gum. She spotted Jack O'Neill just in time to see him grinding Daniel like a dog in heat. She was thrown for a loop once more when she saw where the colonel's hand had strayed. Daniel's eyes popped open so wide she could see his pupils even from this distance. She dropped what she was doing and started trying to make her way through the crowd. Unfortunately, someone's hand shot from a booth and a lilting male voice said, "Excuse me, miss."

Although she was eager to get to her CO and ask him the $25,000 Question, she didn't want Drew to get in trouble for surly waitresses. "Yes, what can I do for you?"

---

Janet felt Georgia's hands squeeze her ass and she quietly cursed. Dana and Georgia were kissing like there was no tomorrow, but they were both holding on to her like her dress was made of velcro. She glanced towards the bar and saw that she was too late. Jack and Daniel were already there... and grinding against each other?! She gasped at the sight and immediately regretted it. Georgia saw the parting lips and moved in for a mind-shattering kiss.

---

Sam quickly filled out the man's order and dashed for the bar. When she arrived, Drew was alone and wiping down the counter. "Drew! Where'd they go?"

The heavy-set man sighed. "They left, honey. I tried to hold them up, but this *is* a business... I could only make them wait for so long."

Sam kicked herself and looked towards the door. The two men were nowhere in sight, and neither was Janet. The plan was ruined and she didn't know if they'd have another opportunity like this.

---

Daniel glared at Jack, eye unblinking behind his glasses. "What. The. HELL?!?"

Jack shrugged, climbing into his truck. "I had to maintain the image. It is a gay bar. And, since you told me no pet names or pinching... Well, I guess I was caught up in the moment and improvised."

"THAT was your definition of improvising?! That's it, Jack. No amount of buffalo wings could POSSIBLY be worth what you're putting me through."

Jack nodded and said, "Look, I told you. This was the last time."

Daniel sighed and rested his head on the window. "At least no one caught us... and no one was hurt."


Chapter Four,

Janet, feeling a little uncomfortable, finally pulled herself free of the two women, noting with relief that they were fully engrossed in each other now. Georgia opened her eyes, seeking her prey and whispered against Dana's mouth, "Hey, she's trying to escape."

Dana grinned. "Cool. More for me."

Georgia just laughed and deepened the kiss.

Janet finally stepped off the dance floor, heading to Sam's side. "Well? What happened?"

"They got away... I had to help a customer. Where were you? You were supposed to hold them at the bar in case I couldn't get away." She noticed the lipstick on Janet's cheek and the small red mark on the petite woman's neck. She arched an eyebrow. "Or... maybe you decided to sow some wild oats."

The doctor blushed. "The bar was your idea. It's not my fault those two attacked me."

Sam frowned. "What two?" Janet indicated Georgia and Dana over her shoulder and Sam's face brightened slightly. "They... both wanted you?"

"Yeah," Janet asked, a little confused. "I think Georgia - the blonde - wanted a little menage-a-trois."

"Hmmm," Sam said, letting her eyes drift over the two dancing women. "How do you think she'd feel about a foursome?"

Janet gasped, slapping Sam's shoulder. "You are so bad! But... what are we going to do about Jack and Daniel? Did you *see* that little show they put on at the bar?"

Sam's eyes widened. "How could I *miss* it?!" She chewed her thumbnail, then sighed. "We can't do this. We have to tell them we know and that we're okay with it. All things considered, Jack was tremendously supportive when he learned about us. And Daniel... he just doesn't deserve to be tortured like this. I think it would be best if we all came clean."

Janet nodded. "Good. I'm not cut out for this covert stuff. Let's get outta here."

They were almost to the door when someone tapped Janet on the shoulder. The brunette turned, her mouth instantly devoured by a pair of hungry lips. She hardly had time to register she was being kissed before the lips and tongue vanished. She blinked, focusing on the smiling face of Dana. Georgia's arms were draped over the dark-haired woman's shoulders. "Hey. Dana and I saw you were leaving." She withdrew a card, scribbling something on it before slipping it under Janet's belt. "Gimme a call sometime. I can get ahold of the princess here and we can party." She leaned forward and lovingly kissed the doctor's lips. When she pulled back, Georgia looked Sam over and said, "And bring your friend." She winked and led Dana back to the bar.

Sam raised an eyebrow, smiling in a fashion more suited to Jack O'Neill. Janet smiled. "Why, Miss Carter. I believe you're aroused by that offer."

The major grinned and said, "Take me home. I'll show you aroused."

---

The next morning, Sam knocked on the door to Daniel's quarters a few minutes before 0700. She checked her watch and took a deep breath. She didn't want to run into Jack here, but if she did it would help push matters along. After a few minutes of silence, she knocked again. The door opened and Daniel appeared, wrapped in a bedsheet. He adjusted his glasses and squinted. "Sam? We, uh... we don't have a mission, do we?"

She smiled. "No, I... I just wanted to tell you something. I know what you and Jack have been up to."

The young man's face went pale. She knew that he and Jack had been masquerading as gay - making a mockery of the major's sexual orientation - just to get buffalo wings. "You do? Oh, God... Um... look, I can explain."

"There's no need to explain," she said softly. "I understand completely. I mean, if anyone would understand it's me."

Daniel smiled. 'Of course she knows how good the wings are,' he told himself. 'She's the one who told Jack about them.' He sighed. "It's not a big deal. In fact, last night was the last time. We're not doing it any more."

Sam frowned. "Really? Why not?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't worth getting caught." He could only imagine what would happen if someone caught them going into a gay club. What would they say, they only wanted the wings? "And besides, it wasn't like it was terribly good."

"Ouch," she winced, feeling a touch of sympathy for Jack's self-esteem. "So... you both decided to quit?"

He leaned against the doorframe, trying to stifle a yawn. "Yup. But, I don't know, I guess Jack could keep going without me. I just didn't find it as wonderful as everyone has said."

She sighed. "Sorry to hear that. But good luck with other opportunities. Hope you find something to fulfill your desire." There was nothing worse than searching for the perfect love.

"Thanks, Sam," he said. "But, when it gets right down to it, I've never met anyone who could compare with my mom." He slipped back into his room and shut the door.

Sam just stared at the flat gray door and whispered, "Mom?!"

---

Janet checked Jack O'Neill's eyes and documented that the pupils were minimally dilated. Marking on her clipboard, she looked up and scanned the infirmary. They were alone. She turned and said, "Colonel... may I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure." He shrugged. "What's up?"

"I have some questions about your personal information." He had filled it out earlier and claimed that he wasn't currently sexually active. "I know you may have some issues about the privacy factor... but you have to fill this thing out honestly."

Jack groaned. He knew she would find out about his little fib. But heartburn from all of those wings was hardly an emergency situation. "Look, Doc... It's just a little twinge of pain and then everything's fine. I really don't know what the big deal is."

"The big deal," Janet said, turning completely to doctor mode, "is that if you lie on this sheet we don't know how to treat you properly. Now fill it out right."

"I'm not going to put down that I had a little heartburn!" he snapped.

She froze. "Heartburn? You think this is about heartburn?"

"Yeah! I pop a couple antacids and I'm right as rain." He realized what she had said and added, "Why? What else is wrong on there?"

She pointed. "Sexual activity. You're telling me you're... not involved?"

He put the clipboard on the bed and frowned. "Unless you're counting my right hand... no, I'm not."

Janet blushed and said, "But..." She closed her eyes. Bite the bullet, she told herself. This is it. "Sir, I have reason to believe that you are in a relationship with someone on this base."

"Who?"

"Dr. Fraiser!!"

Janet turned, angry at the interruption. Dr. Amy Roth was hurrying into the infirmary, her hand cradled against her stomach. Blood soaked the other woman's blouse and skirt and her face was contorted with pain. Janet rushed across the room, helping her colleague onto the bed. "What the hell happened?!"

Amy winced, holding her hand as she settled onto the mattress. "Damn... Damn Natoris," she hissed, referring to the parasitic alien that was residing in her psyche. "I was helping Sergeant Davis mount a few med-kits on a MALP unit and had my hand inside a panel that was about to be latched shut. I would've had time to move my hand out of the way, but Natoris decided it was time for him to take over and I blacked out. When I woke up, my finger had been caught in the panel."

Janet gingerly touched the wound and said, "Okay, I can take care of this. Not even a scar," she promised. She looked up and scanned the infirmary. Jack had taken to opportunity to slip out of the room and avoid any more questions about his health. "Damn," she whispered, moving to the supply cart and grabbing a handful of gauze.

---

Jack moved quickly to his office, pausing to see if Dr. Fraiser had decided to follow him. Once he was certain he wasn't being tailed, he headed to his final destination and rapped quietly on the door. When the occupant answered, he said, "We may have a problem. I think Dr. Fraiser knows about us."

---

Sam moved quietly down the corridor, trying to comprehend her conversation with Daniel. She was about to turn the corner when she heard Jack's voice. "I don't know how she found out, but she did! I thought we were keeping this thing a secret!" She glanced over her shoulder. There's no way Daniel could have made it here ahead of her... which meant that Jack was involved with someone else! But did that mean he was cheating on Daniel?

The colonel continued, "Look, maybe we should just cool it for a while, okay?"

A soft, feminine voice said, "If you think that's best... okay."

Sam peeked around the corner, eager to see who her CO was dating... and found herself staring into the face of the mystery woman. Kessia! Sam had barely seen the refugee lately; she had been a slave on the world where Sam had been abducted by a horrid creature called the Rakazsha. Teal'c and Janet had freed the girl while searching for Sam. She'd been living on Earth since, keeping a low profile as she tried to acclimate herself to the bizarre customs of this new world. At last report, Sam thought the girl had been dating Teal'c.

Sam's eyes widened and she stepped back. "Oh. Oh, uh... hi."

Jack saw her. "Carter?! How long were you standing there?"

She sighed. "Ooh, boy..."

---

Cassandra dropped her schoolbooks on the hallway table, pulling the brownie she had gotten from school out of her pocket and unwrapping it as she went through the mail. A couple of bills, a credit card statement, offer to join two movie clubs. When she reached the bottom of the stack. She picked up the small white card, taking a bite of her snack as she read the handwriting scrawled on it. "Georgia Page, 555-3413. Call me!"

Cassie frowned, turning the card over to see if there was another clue. With a shrug, she replaced the card and quietly asked, "If Ms. Page wanted Mom to call her, why didn't she just send a note home from school? Teachers..." She finished the brownie and tossed the plastic in the trashcan, heading upstairs to catch up on missed phone calls.

---

All the major players were in Janet's office, talking behind closed doors. Jack and Kessia were on the couch, holding hands and whispering to each other. Teal'c and Kessia would occassionally glance at each other, obviously still dealing with their break-up. Janet was behind her desk and Sam was perched on the edge. Daniel was in the chair across from Janet, a bewildered look on his face. Finally, Jack just closed his eyes and shook his head. He broke the silence by repeating his question from a few minutes before blurting out, "You thought WHAT?!"

---

Sam turned off the light, walking to the bed in the flickering glow cast by the television set. Janet was already under the blankets, reading a thick novel as she tried to sleep. Sam reached over, tucking a loose strand of hair behind the doctor's ear and whispering, "Hi."

Janet grinned, keeping her eyes on the page. "Hi."

Sam rested her head on Janet's shoulder, resting her hand on the doctor's stomach. "Hi-ii."

Janet laughed, her stomach quaking below Sam's fingers as she repeated. "Hi-ii."

The blonde chuckled. "Interesting book?"

"It's okay," Janet shrugged.

"Any sex scenes in it?" Sam asked, reading the page Janet had open. The Itty Bitty Book Light was attached to the front cover, illuminating the small type.

Janet supressed a laugh. "No, no so far."

Sam closed the book and said, "Want it to have one?"

Janet laughed and kissed Sam's lips as the blonde squirmed under the blankets. As the taller woman worked her way out of her boxers, the brunette turned off the TV and sighed. "It's amazing how mixed up things got."

"Yeah," Sam laughed, tossing the underwear across the room. She scissored her legs around one of Janet's and slowly began to grind against her lover's thigh. Janet smiled and began nibbling Sam's neck. "I can't believe he thought we'd be so mad about something as trivial as buffalo wings," she snickered.

Sam laughed, working her hand under the waistband of Janet's panties. "And who would have thought... Jack and Kessia. A couple. Talk about strange pairs." She felt the warm flesh of her lover's sex and began to explore the well-traveled area.

Janet closed her eyes, pressing her thigh against the crux of the blonde's sex. "Mmm... well, all I know is that I'm glad everything is out... oooh, Sam... out in the open." She reached down, placing her fingers between her thigh and Sam's slit. She found the hood of her lover's clitoris and slipped the nub out, gently pinching it between her fingers.

Sam moaned low in her throat and threw her head back. "That's it, baby," she whispered. She lowered her head and kissed Janet's lips as she began to climax. She found herself short of breath as she came on her lover's thigh, their lovemaking finished amazingly quick tonight. She rolled to one side, keeping her hand at work until Janet's breathing became ragged and sharp. When her fingers were coated with juices, Sam removed her hand and began to lick it clean. With Janet's help, they were done quickly.

Janet snuggled against Sam's side and gently whispered, "I love you, Sam."

"I love you, too," Sam replied, kissing the top of her lover's head. As they lay in the darkness, Sam suddenly laughed and she said, "God... I love having you in the office at the base. It just feels so... so..."

"Naughty," Janet giggled. She placed her hand on Sam's breast, rolling her fingertips across the pliant flesh. She sighed. "It was... spectacular."

Sam laughed quietly. Seconds before the two women fell asleep, Sam suddenly asked, "Hey, are there any security cameras in your office?"

Janet's eyes shot open.

~end~


Secrets & Lies

Geonn

Stargate SG1

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