Author: Geonn

Email: neil_j_miser@yahoo.com

Rating: R

Pairings: Sam/Janet

Category: Drama

Website: www.realmoftheshadow.com/geonn.htm

Disclaimer: These folks don't belong to me. I stole them from MGM's toybox without asking their mommies for permission. I promise to return them more or less unscathed.

Archive: Yes, just let me know where it'll be.

Summary: Sam and Janet have broken up. It's for the best, right?

Web mistress Note:
You can read this story with great pictures here: http://samjanet.stargate-sg1.hu/geonn/aftermath.htm

Sam

I feel great. I'm surprised, really... shocked is more appropriate. I never figured I would be able to walk away from Janet and feel this good about it. What we had was so spectacular for a while. We were so in love. And then, to have it end and be perfectly okay with it. I figured I would be crying myself to sleep.

But that's ridiculous. I don't cry myself to sleep. I haven't slept in days.

Janet

She's doing well. So I guess I should be doing well, too. After all, it was my idea to end the relationship, right? So if she's okay then I'm okay. Yeah. I can get through this. Just write a couple reports. Do a little bit of business and go home to spend time with my daughter. Wait... is she supposed to be at Sam's this weekend? No, no she's at my house. Good. I'll maybe take her out for some ice cream. Or pizza... I've been letting her eat a lot more junk food than usual.

Jacquie has some more forms for me to sign. She asked me out one time, whether it was casual or something more, I don't know. Maybe now that I'm single again (what a weird concept), I can take her up on that. God knows how hard it is to sleep alone. My bed feels so empty. I haven't slept in days.

Sam

Finger is acting up again. Probably jammed it trying to dial the DHD while under fire. I could go to the infirmary and have it checked out. Make sure it's just a temporary problem. But going to the infirmary would mean going to see Janet. Finger ache or heartache... what a choice. I think I can stand the pain for a little while longer. Just until Janet goes off-duty.

Janet

Crap. She's in the commissary. She knows this is when I eat my lunch. How could I eat with her across the room? Why is she holding her spoon like that? It looks like her finger is hurt... have to remind Dr. Warner to check that out next time he examines her.

Damn it. My stomach's been growling at me for hours. I need something to eat, but she looks like she's set up for the long haul. Stomach ache or heartache... what a choice. I think I can stand the pain for a little while longer. Just until Sam leaves the commissary.

Sam

"Hi! You've reached the Fraiser Residence. If you'd like to leave a message for Janet or Cassandra, please wait for the beep. Thanks so much!"

I hang up right before the beep and sit back. Again. The fourth time I've done that today. Janet will probably be upset when she sees how many hang-ups she has on her machine, but I just have to hear her voice without being forced to speak to her. I can't have a conversation with her. No matter what I want to say, my lips form "I can't live without you."

Cassie has a soccer game this weekend. I told her I'd never miss a game, but... but Janet will be there. I couldn't put Cassandra in the middle of that. It wouldn't be fair. I pick up the phone and dial Janet's house again, but this time I leave a message for Cassie, telling her that I'm breaking my promise to her. It's going to break her heart.

"Hey, Cassie. Look, uh... I'm sorry, but I won't be able to make it to your game this weekend. I know how much you wanted me to be there and I know I promised to never miss a game, but... well, I just can't. I hope you understand, sweetheart. Bye-bye."

Janet

Damn it. Damn her. This is the championship and she knows it. She knows how much Cassandra is looking forward to this. I erase the message as Cassandra comes in and, in a moment of weakness, tell the girl Sam was just making sure what time to be at the field. She was going to be at that game, no matter what.

Sam

A note? She slips me a note? What is this, junior high?

She wants me at Cassie's game. She says she won't show up if I promise to go. I tap the side of the note on the table and then begin writing a reply.

Janet

"It's getting too hard. People are starting rumors, there are questions I don't feel comfortable answering... I just think it would be better if we cooled it off a little..."

What a dumbass. What was I thinking? Ending the best relationship I'd ever had because it was getting too hard. I didn't deserve Sam if I was so eager to drop her. An airman delivers Sam's note and I read her reply. She wants to go to the game, but she thinks the two of us can be civil long enough to sit through it together. I refold the letter and tell the airman to tell Sam I said it sounded good to me.

He nods and leaves. I hope I didn't just make a terrible mistake.

Sam

Just a soccer game. I'll sit here with my Diet Coke and my plastic bag of cookies and watch my daughter win regional.

Janet

Just a soccer game. I'll sit here with my carton of milk and my plastic bag of orange slices and watch my daughter win regional.

Sam

There she is. God, she looks beautiful... cream-colored pants and a blue blouse. She always looked spectacular in blue. She's wearing her sunglasses and the big wide-brimmed hat I always made fun of. The bleacher next to her isn't taken. I should walk over. I should sit. No... she ended the relationship. It's not my place to try to rebuild it. I sip my Diet Coke and turn back to the field.

Janet

I thought she'd never look away. If she'd stared at me another second, I would've waved her over. And if I had waved her over, she would have sat next to me in those shorts. God, her legs. And if she sat next to me in those shorts - with those legs out for everyone to see - I wouldn't be held accountable for my actions. Her sleeveless blouse - such powerful arms, arms that had held me all through the night so many times - is unbuttoned a little. I turn back to the field. "Run, Cass!" I shout. Anything to keep from thinking of Sam.

Sam

"Run, Cass!"

I tense up when I hear her voice, tempted to turn again. She's right behind me, just a few short steps. This may have been a bad idea. I take a cookie and pop it into my mouth without bothering to separate the two sides. Cassandra has the ball... just focus on the game. The game. Focus on watching Cassandra run across the field in her blue uniform. Not on the woman behind me. I take another cookie and pop it into my mouth. "Go, Cassie!" I call around the cookie.

Janet

God, she's shoveling those things in like crazy. I take an orange slice from my baggie and put it in my mouth.

Sam

Okay. WRONG time to turn around. Janet has an orange slice between her lips and teeth, sucking the juices from it. God, the juices trailing out of the corners of her mouth... where have I seen THAT before... I turn back to the field and grab a couple of cookies, throwing them into my mouth. I cough, then inhale quickly. Oh, crap.

Janet

What's going on over there?

Sam

Just... just take it easy. Stand up and clear the path. It'll go down smooth, just... just get the damned cookie out of your throat. I gasp, putting a hand to my throat. "Akr!" I call.

RICHARD "RED" FETTER

Gad. Who does this broad t'ink she is? Standin' up and blockin' my view a' my kid? Oh, my gad... I think... Oh, shee-ut, I think she's chokin'! "Hey! Hey, is dere a doctor here?!"

Janet

I jump up and am behind Sam in an instant. I embrace her, locking my hands by instinct and performing the Heimlich. One, two, three, she coughs and she spits out the cookie. I release her and she sits, putting her head between her legs. I rub her back, sitting next to her and staring out at the field. Cassie is off the field now and she's staring at us. I wave half-heartedly, then turn to Sam. I ask her, "Are you okay?"

Sam

"Are you okay?"

I sob and turn to her, wrapping my arms around her neck. "No," I whisper. "I'm nowhere near okay."

Janet

It's after midnight now. The coffee is cold, but I pour another mug and put it in the microwave to reheat it. Sam and I have been talking for almost ten hours. I guess when you don't talk for a couple of weeks, the words build up. I bring her a mug, too and sit next to her on the porch. "It's getting late," she says. "I-I should go if I'm... going to go."

"You can stay," I tell her softly. I put my hand on hers and add, "I really want you to stay."

She starts to cry again and I embrace her. Too dangerous. Too much at risk. God, I'm dense sometimes. I forget what is really important. I focus on the wrong things. All it takes is an Oreo down the wrong pipe to remind me. I'll have to write them a nice letter. I help Sam stand up and help her up the stairs.

Sam

Last night I finally got some sleep.